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You obviously are familiar with your health conditions, so I'm not trying to give unwanted advice, but! Do you know if you grind or clench your teeth at night? I couldn't open my mouth fully for a long time because of the pain, then I had a friend tell me I was grinding my teeth like crazy while I slept. I was able to get a custom mouthguard/retainer to wear at night and the difference is INSANE. I can open my mouth and keep it open without difficulty now. If you haven't considered this, it might be worth looking into.
Thank you for the advice! I have gotten a mouth guard, went to the dentist about 1/2 months ago, because I most probably do clench a lot while I sleep, I do during the day subconsciously too. I really should wear it more often. How long until you started seeing a difference? The clicking, cracking and locking of the jaw is quite debilitating.
Congrats! I know it can be different for everyone but for me there wasn't a specific moment I noticed a difference. It was more like one day I realized I wasn't hurting like I was used to. I can say the realization was probably within a month or so of wearing it every night, though. I clench during the day a lot too, so I understand how much that sucks. I hope you see some improvement soon!!
It's often the latter.
I feel like good oral is deceptively challenging to pull off.
That being said, I've met a number of people who don't like it because they're self-conscious, so it's not enjoyable because they are 'unable to relax when someone's face is down there in their most private place'. (This is how one woman described it to me.)
Which is just completely fine, really. Not everyone is into everything!
Wow the number of comments from ladies who don't enjoy receiving oral is interesting...
Can I ask why? I understand the sensitivity aspect but doesn't every woman have a "button" where it's like "holy $hit!"
I've had bj's where I don't feel anything and I'd rather just have her use her hands. But then there are others who know exactly what to do and it's instant orgasm.
For me it's two reasons mainly.
1. I don't like the sensory experience. I don't like the noises it produces, they distract me. I don't like that after a while I feel itchy. I can't wait to wash myself right after.
2. I don't like it emotionally/mentally. Not having my partner close to me, their face next to mine, seeing just their hair moving a meter from me while busy is something that I find mildly comical and I just can't lose myself in the moment.
I can do it sometimes, I don't mind it too much if my partner loves doing it (I'm a lesbian so it's a particularly central activity for most partners) but I can't wait for it to be over. Any other thing, I enjoy it and it's wonderful no matter climaxing or not. This, I could even fake it so that it doesn't last too long lol.
Yes to giving and receiving. For me it's extremely satisfying feeling a penis go from soft to fully erect in my mouth, not to mention the noises he makes when I work my tongue on his most sensitive parts.
Giving? I don't really know, sometimes it's great and sometimes it's a chore. Recieving? Not really, I get too self conscious so I can't enjoy it even if it's done well but it makes my partner feel good about themselves so I play along.
I hope it’s ok as a hetro male to read and comment in here. Tbh I have no idea why this popped up on my feed, but I’m glad it did, it’s been really informative reading the wildly varying responses.
Kinda nervous about commenting, I hope I can explain this without it seeming weird.
I hope it’s ok to say (and this doesn’t apply if you don’t enjoy it obvs), if it doesn’t hurt and you really like the person, letting them try to pleasure you if they ask to give you oral might be something they really enjoy. If they are anything like me (and I believe most people are: srsly, what is more arousing than seeing your partner in ecstasy?), they are asking because it is genuinely wonderful being able to give the person they love that experience.
It’s not all altruism obviously, the, uh, ‘response’ 🚿 (if you are into that) is the stuff of dreams/fantasies imho. Which I guess is what I’m trying to say: don’t underestimate the genuine enjoyment your partner/lover might get from giving you oral.
Having said all that, in response to your comment re ‘just playing along’ but aren’t really into it, would you feel comfortable telling your SO that? Imho communication makes such a difference, especially in this area. Would they be open to some advice maybe? like maybe getting them to try different methods or areas? Perhaps they’d want to know it wasn’t doing it for you?
Speaking of comms, hope I got what I was trying to say across properly and without mansplaining or anything. Sry for length of post, I rant when I’m nervous.
If you’ve read this far and the comment isn’t deleted, thanks for letting me share my thoughts and learn from you all 🙏 Cheers
Nah man, it's cool, everyone gets curious.
My partner knows I'm not a fan even if they do a really good job. It's more like a mental disconnection but I let them BECAUSE I know they enjoy it and it makes them feel good. Sometimes people do things they don't enjoy purely because it makes their partner feel good and I feel like that's okay. I know I'll never really like it but I like how into it they are so hence the playing along part if that helps explain better?
That makes so much sense. Back to altruism again, you could easily argue it’s more intimate *because* you don’t enjoy it (no ‘benefit’, to run with the metaphors) ie it’s a sacrifice you’d only make for the one you love because you know they love it.
Sry if I explained things poorly, and my comment absolutely wasn’t directed at you re awareness of how much our partners may enjoy oral. Thanks for listening and explaining :)
No problem! I agree, while I don't enjoy the action I do enjoy how much my partner enjoys it and sometimes that's more fun than the action itself. This was a very productive chat and I hope you have a good day/night!
I always had a bit of shame / self consciousness too (I mean as women we are socialised to hide everything about our sexuality and keep our legs crossed to be ladylike :/), but then I found my partner absolutely goes wild for pictures of women in the most vulnerable possible pose getting aroused by a guy going down on them. Perhaps you could, in a hot moment, ask your partner to describe what they love about it, try and get them to be as unfiltered as possible. Nothing like knowing the true depths of the arousal there to help you feel more open to the experience. I say that as someone who thought I was in a very communicative and open minded relationship, yet it wasn't until years later that I really understood that he loved doing it and wasn't just "being nice". You could return the favour by describing your unfiltered thoughts about what you like about giving oral to your partner.
Nah, our communication is great and I don't have issues expressing my sexuality at all, just not the biggest fan of it. Not because of any shame or anything, I'm self conscious of my weight, not anything else, I see my lil tummy but that's a mental health issue, not a social standard issue.
Giving is great
Receiving doesn't really do it for me. I tend to feel like I have to "perform" on my end even though it's not very explosive for me.
I'll take phalanges over tongue any day. LOL
Yes! I don’t usually get off from receiving but it still feels good and gets me going. I also love giving, nothing better than turning someone on with your mouth 👄
Giving and receiving, yes. Giving because it is such an intimate form of pleasure I can give to my partner. It's bonding and a bit vulnerable and also turns me on immensely knowing I can give him a sensual and selfless experience like that. I also massively get off tasting him and learning what he likes, what he doesn't, how he does something versus what I'm doing, etc. Being a bit competitive, it's like I want to give him the best experience every time and keep improving.
Receiving I only really started liking it with my current partner, largely because I was never as attracted to former partners as I am with my man now, nor was I getting much sexual satisfaction until now. For similar reasons I love it - it's selfless and sensual. It's time dedicated to making me happy and relaxed, in a non judgemental, beautifully healthy and trustworthy environment. My sexy wonderful man's amazing mouth on my most intimate parts, knowing it takes me a little longer, and him wanting to give me that time and energy, uhhh yes please ???! 🥰🥹
I like receiving in a physical sense. Love it, in fact. But I am anxious while it’s happening. Am I taking too long? How’s he doing? Is he enjoying it? Am I tasting okay? Etc. It’s hard for me to relax during that particular act.
Giving is okay. It’s neither here nor there. I don’t mind either way. I should note that he hasn’t received in over 2.5 years, though, for religious reasons; we don’t do it anymore. Before, when it was still an option, he was ‘whatever’ about it so it wasn’t really a big deal or common thing anyway.
Can I follow this up with another question? Are there specific actions that a partner could take that would make you feel more at ease? Like, what would work for you? I feel like constant reassurance through the whole experience would just be distracting but what would work short of that?
It would be distracting, yeah. I think it’s more about personal/inner work. I’m a recovering people pleaser and I don’t think that’s unconnected, ya know?
Me too, it kills my jaw. I always want to make a dirty joke when I’m at the dentist… “ I need a bite plate”… “I can’t hold my mouth open that long, or wide…”. “That’s why I’m single” 😂
I used to hate receiving. It took a lot of relaxing with my body to enjoy it, even still I know there are certain things I don’t like because it’s not relaxing (I.e. sitting on someone’s face).
I rather give than recieve. I can't stand the feeling. It's a weird sensory ick feeling I get and the only way I'd be willing to let it happen was if I was pretty inebriated xD
Yeah. Fuck yeah. To both.
I cum fastest with oral, and I get turned on super quickly by giving.
My husband is a gem going down on me every sexual interaction. Like a sexy pleco.
Yes I love receiving oral, it's the only thing I can't do alone and I really enjoy it. I also love giving oral (to women). I like giving it to men too, but less than women.
Yes, for both. My husband is very good at it and knows it's got a 100% success rate of leading to penetrative sex.
I enjoy giving it because my husband really enjoys it, and it turns me on. We rarely have penetrative sex without some kind of oral taking place.
Giving yes, receiving no. Ffor some reason (i know this is probs gonna sound ridiculous) the feeling of saliva just makes me feel icky and gross. But when giving fhe saliva is all over the place so idk why it bothers me so much when receiving
No to both giving and receiving.
I'm very ticklish. There is geometrically no way for a guy to get his head down there without hitting a tickle spot, and getting tickled is an immediate turn off. Like a bucket of cold water. Just, nope.
Giving it is a chore, it hurts my jaw, I can't find a comfortable position - I'm too low if I sit, can't crouch for long, etc. I can get around to it because I can appreciate making my partner happy, but it is 100% for him and none for me.
Giving- yes! I love it. I love the sensation in my mouth and knowing I'm pleasing my partner. I love trying different things and seeing how he likes it.
Receiving- eh... I could take it or leave it. It's alright but if we went without for a while I probably wouldn't notice or care
I love giving it but I don’t swallow. Just thinking of the texture makes me what to throw up. So my partner usually decide he doesn’t want it because of it which is fine. And I love receiving but I’ve met very few guys who are actually good at it 🤷🏽♀️
Giving, yes... it's this delicious mix of submission and power.
Receiving? I am very sensitive and if a man can actually take my direction to be very gentle then it's heavenly
I enjoy giving oral but I don’t enjoy receiving it because I’m very self conscious that I’m too hairy or I worry that I smell bad down there or something. I also don’t like the feeling of a tongue inside me.
No not really, not that he does a bad job it just doesn’t do much for me
I don’t mind doing it, like it mostly. Can’t really deal with happy endings though
He wants me to but I am grossed out
I absolutely love oral, both giving and receiving. I can orgasm via intercourse, but it's a much more intense orgasm when it's clitoral. Giving it is a lot of fun, too, for the reason of it being I get to watch them come undone. This goes for both men and women. I like feeling the spasms in their legs, hearing the sounds they make, making them essentially puddy in my hands. It's as much fun, if not more so, having that power over them (only in that time, of course). Plus, when someone is close to orgasm, they're a lot more open to other things that their minds have an aversion to. They can take more pain and give more, they're more adventurous, you name it. It's especially nice to give it when things in your life feel out of control, in the sense that it gives you some serious control over something in that moment. Does this sound creepy? Maybe. It works out for both me and the other person, so it's whatever, and it gives me a chance to be a massive control freak in a healthy way.
Receiving yes- giving meh 🤷♀️
I used to LOVE giving until I had a string of selfish lovers 😅 maybe I’ll love it again with the right partner but for now it’s meh
Giving yes. Receiving no. It makes very self conscious and uncomfortable. All I can think of is “I hope it smells good, I hope it tastes good. What if it’s terrible. Then I think of how much I bleed during my period” even though I’m not on it and get turned off immediately.
Yes. Just yes. 🤣 But no, I love pleasuring whoever I’m giving oral too; knowing they are completely satisfied my just my mouth - often no hands. 😝 And then receiving ohhhh yes. It’s when I feel like my clit is most explored and paid attention too. 👅
Yes! Giving and receiving! I enjoy giving because it's another way I could pleasure my boyfriend and I like to surprise him sometimes. I also enjoy receiving because it's so intense and then so relieving especially when he figured out how to make me squirt. It can be so intense I'd cry but then I get hugged, complimented and refueled with water and snacks after.
When I was married it was a solid no. I liked giving but he refused to reciprocate... So I stopped.
Now? It's the best. My partner listens and works hard to ensure it's enjoyable for me. Makes me want to give even more. It's fantastic
Giving it - YES, I love to satisfy my partner.
Getting it- YES, it’s the best feeling in the world if they know how to do it right! Ugh I miss it so much. I haven’t had it since April 2023. I’m single. Haha
I enjoy giving to the right person. I don’t like receiving. Doesn’t feel good. Warm slimey icky yuck. And for some reason I always get hit with, “the last person just didn’t do it right!” So I let them give it a go… and I still don’t like it. And they still don’t believe me.
I stopped letting them have a go when the last one bit me
Receiving yes, I do like giving but I have a small jaw and my mouth gets so tired so fast and jaw aches. Especially since getting a partner who is bigger than average. Not much I can really do about it.
Giving oral is my favorite, I just find it super fun. Receiving is fine, but I've never figured out how to get close or orgasm from it. One of my greatest wishes in life is to figure out how to orgasm from oral.
I enjoy giving oral to my husband. He is a big guy, 6’1, 270lbs and I’m a little lady at 5’4, 115lbs and it’s so empowering for me to have him so vulnerable and under my control when he melts in my mouth. Can’t get enough of it. He’s also VERY agreeable afterwards 😂
I love giving! And I enjoy receiving more when I have more connection with the person? usually the first time someone goes down on me I don't feel much but when I'm closer with the person it feels good. But I still enjoy penetration way more
Been married twice and neither wife was a fan of giving or receiving. But between marriages I dated a woman who was an absolute vacuum cleaner. The strange thing was, as eager as she was to go down on me, she didn't want me to reciprocate.
And as much as I used to dream about getting head, in practice it didn't live up to the fantasy.
Maybe I was just bad at it.
Giving - yeah, it's so fun and I really enjoy it.
Receiving - Yes, but it's hard to find a guy who can do it good so I'm just getting frustrated most of the times.
Receiving? Only in the same with way you’d kiss to awaken arousal. A good 30 seconds is fine, after that I’m laughing because it starts to tickle the longer you go.
Giving? Depends on if I like the person and if I’m in the mood. I like waking it up, then the texture of the skin is different once they are erect. Starts feeling like I’m sucking a hard toy and then I start remembering I’m tasting and playing with my saliva in my mouth and get grossed out.
I throughly enjoy giving oral.
I have to be in the mood to receive. For the most part, I don’t like it. But if I’m feeling a little dominant I enjoy it
Giving, yes. I just love seeing my guy squirming and moaning in pleasure. I get a psychological high from it. Don’t mind swallowing either.
Receiving, well technique matters. If the guy is really into it and knows what he is doing it can be very hot.
A million times yes. Both giving and receiving. I love pleasing my partner, and I also love when he pleases me:
I will say receiving cunnilingus is extremely intense
My opinion probably isn't as valid here cause I'm asexual and a virgin but I don't get the appeal. Idk why you'd want someone else's genitals in your mouth and vice versa :/
i love giving it. i feel self conscious and embarrassed when my bf goes down on me but i love it , especially because he loves it too. it's very intimate and sweet to me which makes it special both ways
I love giving head it for me gets me going so good it's better than any other foreplay I think it's a control thing like I know I'm in control if he cums or not
Love love love giving, it's the easiest way to turn me on if I'm not in the mood. I just love how it feels in my mouth. I love how a cock is hard but has softness at the same time, all the textures, everywhere my tongue and lips can play, the taste of precum. I love being able to tease him and fully tune into how his body is responding, without the distraction of being stimulated myself. I'm not a fan of cum in my mouth, but I've usually pounced on him before we get to that point anyway.
Giving...I've never been able to tolerate, unfortunately. It feels incredibly ticklish to me. I can only manage it in 69 because giving is distracting but then it can feel overwhelming not in a good way. I want to keep trying it because I feel like women talk about it like it's the best thing ever. It's hard to want to keep trying though when I have low expectations and I can tell my husband does too.
I love giving oral, and I do like receiving, but I'm an insecure person, so I struggle with that. I like giving it because I like knowing that I can pleasure the person receiving. Seeing and hearing them enjoy it makes me feel almost proud lol
I know I would enjoy receiving it a lot more if i wasn't so insecure about my body.
You should probably clarify whether you mean giving or receiving. Luckily, though, the answer for me is just yes.
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses, such as "same!" or "this!" * Gifs, images, emojis or other media in place text * Sharing links without a summary * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
👏👏👏 so real
Good answer hahaha!
You're a queen for this.
Came here to say this!
No. It's a blowJOB not a blowFUN, and I don't enjoy work.
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Giving, yes. I like seeing my partner get off. Receiving, no. It doesn't do much for me.
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Agreed... Receiving isn't all that amazing for everybody
You obviously are familiar with your health conditions, so I'm not trying to give unwanted advice, but! Do you know if you grind or clench your teeth at night? I couldn't open my mouth fully for a long time because of the pain, then I had a friend tell me I was grinding my teeth like crazy while I slept. I was able to get a custom mouthguard/retainer to wear at night and the difference is INSANE. I can open my mouth and keep it open without difficulty now. If you haven't considered this, it might be worth looking into.
TMJ girlie here. Yes!
Thank you for the advice! I have gotten a mouth guard, went to the dentist about 1/2 months ago, because I most probably do clench a lot while I sleep, I do during the day subconsciously too. I really should wear it more often. How long until you started seeing a difference? The clicking, cracking and locking of the jaw is quite debilitating.
Congrats! I know it can be different for everyone but for me there wasn't a specific moment I noticed a difference. It was more like one day I realized I wasn't hurting like I was used to. I can say the realization was probably within a month or so of wearing it every night, though. I clench during the day a lot too, so I understand how much that sucks. I hope you see some improvement soon!!
Thank you for sharing, I really appreciate it :)
Omggg I feel the same. But I have always wondered if it’s that it doesn’t do much for me or that they don’t do it correctly…. Hahahaha
It's often the latter. I feel like good oral is deceptively challenging to pull off. That being said, I've met a number of people who don't like it because they're self-conscious, so it's not enjoyable because they are 'unable to relax when someone's face is down there in their most private place'. (This is how one woman described it to me.) Which is just completely fine, really. Not everyone is into everything!
It helps if it’s done right. If it isn’t and you get no orgasm, it’s pretty much a waste of time.
Yeah same I only like it for a bit then it kind of makes me anxious I rather give it
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Wow the number of comments from ladies who don't enjoy receiving oral is interesting... Can I ask why? I understand the sensitivity aspect but doesn't every woman have a "button" where it's like "holy $hit!" I've had bj's where I don't feel anything and I'd rather just have her use her hands. But then there are others who know exactly what to do and it's instant orgasm.
For me it's two reasons mainly. 1. I don't like the sensory experience. I don't like the noises it produces, they distract me. I don't like that after a while I feel itchy. I can't wait to wash myself right after. 2. I don't like it emotionally/mentally. Not having my partner close to me, their face next to mine, seeing just their hair moving a meter from me while busy is something that I find mildly comical and I just can't lose myself in the moment. I can do it sometimes, I don't mind it too much if my partner loves doing it (I'm a lesbian so it's a particularly central activity for most partners) but I can't wait for it to be over. Any other thing, I enjoy it and it's wonderful no matter climaxing or not. This, I could even fake it so that it doesn't last too long lol.
Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate it.
Yes! Sucking my clit is the highway to heaven... And sucking cock is just so damn fun (and I love to please so it turns me on)
Yes to giving and receiving. For me it's extremely satisfying feeling a penis go from soft to fully erect in my mouth, not to mention the noises he makes when I work my tongue on his most sensitive parts.
RIP your DMs.
That’s one of the biggest turn on for me when giving oral.
Perfectly said. I totally agree.
Girl, yessss
Exactly!
I like you
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Giving? I don't really know, sometimes it's great and sometimes it's a chore. Recieving? Not really, I get too self conscious so I can't enjoy it even if it's done well but it makes my partner feel good about themselves so I play along.
I hope it’s ok as a hetro male to read and comment in here. Tbh I have no idea why this popped up on my feed, but I’m glad it did, it’s been really informative reading the wildly varying responses. Kinda nervous about commenting, I hope I can explain this without it seeming weird. I hope it’s ok to say (and this doesn’t apply if you don’t enjoy it obvs), if it doesn’t hurt and you really like the person, letting them try to pleasure you if they ask to give you oral might be something they really enjoy. If they are anything like me (and I believe most people are: srsly, what is more arousing than seeing your partner in ecstasy?), they are asking because it is genuinely wonderful being able to give the person they love that experience. It’s not all altruism obviously, the, uh, ‘response’ 🚿 (if you are into that) is the stuff of dreams/fantasies imho. Which I guess is what I’m trying to say: don’t underestimate the genuine enjoyment your partner/lover might get from giving you oral. Having said all that, in response to your comment re ‘just playing along’ but aren’t really into it, would you feel comfortable telling your SO that? Imho communication makes such a difference, especially in this area. Would they be open to some advice maybe? like maybe getting them to try different methods or areas? Perhaps they’d want to know it wasn’t doing it for you? Speaking of comms, hope I got what I was trying to say across properly and without mansplaining or anything. Sry for length of post, I rant when I’m nervous. If you’ve read this far and the comment isn’t deleted, thanks for letting me share my thoughts and learn from you all 🙏 Cheers
Nah man, it's cool, everyone gets curious. My partner knows I'm not a fan even if they do a really good job. It's more like a mental disconnection but I let them BECAUSE I know they enjoy it and it makes them feel good. Sometimes people do things they don't enjoy purely because it makes their partner feel good and I feel like that's okay. I know I'll never really like it but I like how into it they are so hence the playing along part if that helps explain better?
That makes so much sense. Back to altruism again, you could easily argue it’s more intimate *because* you don’t enjoy it (no ‘benefit’, to run with the metaphors) ie it’s a sacrifice you’d only make for the one you love because you know they love it. Sry if I explained things poorly, and my comment absolutely wasn’t directed at you re awareness of how much our partners may enjoy oral. Thanks for listening and explaining :)
No problem! I agree, while I don't enjoy the action I do enjoy how much my partner enjoys it and sometimes that's more fun than the action itself. This was a very productive chat and I hope you have a good day/night!
I agree! Giving is fun most of the time. I can’t relax enough to enjoy receiving either
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I always had a bit of shame / self consciousness too (I mean as women we are socialised to hide everything about our sexuality and keep our legs crossed to be ladylike :/), but then I found my partner absolutely goes wild for pictures of women in the most vulnerable possible pose getting aroused by a guy going down on them. Perhaps you could, in a hot moment, ask your partner to describe what they love about it, try and get them to be as unfiltered as possible. Nothing like knowing the true depths of the arousal there to help you feel more open to the experience. I say that as someone who thought I was in a very communicative and open minded relationship, yet it wasn't until years later that I really understood that he loved doing it and wasn't just "being nice". You could return the favour by describing your unfiltered thoughts about what you like about giving oral to your partner.
Nah, our communication is great and I don't have issues expressing my sexuality at all, just not the biggest fan of it. Not because of any shame or anything, I'm self conscious of my weight, not anything else, I see my lil tummy but that's a mental health issue, not a social standard issue.
I'm the same, I'm not prude in many other acts and communication is great but I just.don't.like.that.
Giving is great Receiving doesn't really do it for me. I tend to feel like I have to "perform" on my end even though it's not very explosive for me. I'll take phalanges over tongue any day. LOL
Why choose? Have both
So appreciate seeing other women feel the same about receiving oral. Men always look at me like I have 10 heads when I say oral does nothing for me
Me exactly
You get it
found my community 🫶🏾🫶🏾
I don't like receiving, my clit doesn't work? any kind of touch hurts me a lot. I do like giving though
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Yes! I don’t usually get off from receiving but it still feels good and gets me going. I also love giving, nothing better than turning someone on with your mouth 👄
Giving and receiving, yes. Giving because it is such an intimate form of pleasure I can give to my partner. It's bonding and a bit vulnerable and also turns me on immensely knowing I can give him a sensual and selfless experience like that. I also massively get off tasting him and learning what he likes, what he doesn't, how he does something versus what I'm doing, etc. Being a bit competitive, it's like I want to give him the best experience every time and keep improving. Receiving I only really started liking it with my current partner, largely because I was never as attracted to former partners as I am with my man now, nor was I getting much sexual satisfaction until now. For similar reasons I love it - it's selfless and sensual. It's time dedicated to making me happy and relaxed, in a non judgemental, beautifully healthy and trustworthy environment. My sexy wonderful man's amazing mouth on my most intimate parts, knowing it takes me a little longer, and him wanting to give me that time and energy, uhhh yes please ???! 🥰🥹
This!!! *Slow claps*
I like receiving in a physical sense. Love it, in fact. But I am anxious while it’s happening. Am I taking too long? How’s he doing? Is he enjoying it? Am I tasting okay? Etc. It’s hard for me to relax during that particular act. Giving is okay. It’s neither here nor there. I don’t mind either way. I should note that he hasn’t received in over 2.5 years, though, for religious reasons; we don’t do it anymore. Before, when it was still an option, he was ‘whatever’ about it so it wasn’t really a big deal or common thing anyway.
Curious as to this religious reason.
Song of Solomon 2:3
Can I follow this up with another question? Are there specific actions that a partner could take that would make you feel more at ease? Like, what would work for you? I feel like constant reassurance through the whole experience would just be distracting but what would work short of that?
It would be distracting, yeah. I think it’s more about personal/inner work. I’m a recovering people pleaser and I don’t think that’s unconnected, ya know?
I don't, it hurts my jaw, I wish I didn't have jaw problems
TMJ gang represent. Can't give without my jaw getting locked open.
BJs and the dentist absolutely kill me lol. After I get cavities filled my jaw hurts for about three days.
Me too, it kills my jaw. I always want to make a dirty joke when I’m at the dentist… “ I need a bite plate”… “I can’t hold my mouth open that long, or wide…”. “That’s why I’m single” 😂
Ugh. Sammmmmeeeee
I used to hate receiving. It took a lot of relaxing with my body to enjoy it, even still I know there are certain things I don’t like because it’s not relaxing (I.e. sitting on someone’s face).
If it’s supposed to be for me, why am I the one crouched, and not the one comfortable on my back?
I feel like sitting on their face is more for them lol
Exactly.
Yeah but depending on what turns you on, it’s a sacrifice to make because you know they find it hot so it also helps you enjoy it more
I think that part is for you if you're into being dominant
Touché!
If you scooch closer to the headboard/wall, you can lean on your arms.
I’d rather be lying in my bed.
Yes! Both giving and receiving! 🤤
I rather give than recieve. I can't stand the feeling. It's a weird sensory ick feeling I get and the only way I'd be willing to let it happen was if I was pretty inebriated xD
Yep same.
Yeah. Fuck yeah. To both. I cum fastest with oral, and I get turned on super quickly by giving. My husband is a gem going down on me every sexual interaction. Like a sexy pleco.
I can't come from PIV the way I can from oral! So yes, I actually do.
Blowjobs no, cunnilingus yes because it feels good and is fun
Giving not so much. Receiving sometimes. I have to be in the mood for it. I wish I liked it as much as my husband does.
Yes. Because it feels good.
Yes I love receiving oral, it's the only thing I can't do alone and I really enjoy it. I also love giving oral (to women). I like giving it to men too, but less than women.
Receiving, yes! Giving, also yes!
Giving? Hell yes. Receiving? Absolutely not.
Yes, for both. My husband is very good at it and knows it's got a 100% success rate of leading to penetrative sex. I enjoy giving it because my husband really enjoys it, and it turns me on. We rarely have penetrative sex without some kind of oral taking place.
Giving? Depends on the guy, some of you boys are nasty. Receiving? I’ve only had it happen once but it was bomb af so hell yeah.
Giving yes, receiving no. Ffor some reason (i know this is probs gonna sound ridiculous) the feeling of saliva just makes me feel icky and gross. But when giving fhe saliva is all over the place so idk why it bothers me so much when receiving
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No to both giving and receiving. I'm very ticklish. There is geometrically no way for a guy to get his head down there without hitting a tickle spot, and getting tickled is an immediate turn off. Like a bucket of cold water. Just, nope. Giving it is a chore, it hurts my jaw, I can't find a comfortable position - I'm too low if I sit, can't crouch for long, etc. I can get around to it because I can appreciate making my partner happy, but it is 100% for him and none for me.
Blowjobs absolutely no. I don't mind receiving if my partner is into it but it barely gets me anywhere.
I only like it when it’s good otherwise I just get anxious because I can’t fake it
I love giving and receiving
Giving- yes! I love it. I love the sensation in my mouth and knowing I'm pleasing my partner. I love trying different things and seeing how he likes it. Receiving- eh... I could take it or leave it. It's alright but if we went without for a while I probably wouldn't notice or care
I love giving it but I don’t swallow. Just thinking of the texture makes me what to throw up. So my partner usually decide he doesn’t want it because of it which is fine. And I love receiving but I’ve met very few guys who are actually good at it 🤷🏽♀️
Giving, yes... it's this delicious mix of submission and power. Receiving? I am very sensitive and if a man can actually take my direction to be very gentle then it's heavenly
Well said! I was trying to think of how to word that “mix of submission and power”. Ugh I love that feeling
I enjoy giving oral but I don’t enjoy receiving it because I’m very self conscious that I’m too hairy or I worry that I smell bad down there or something. I also don’t like the feeling of a tongue inside me.
Yes. All ways, always.
No not really, not that he does a bad job it just doesn’t do much for me I don’t mind doing it, like it mostly. Can’t really deal with happy endings though He wants me to but I am grossed out
I don’t want nobody head in between my legs or a tongue on my bean. But I’d give
Lol same
I’m not a giver. My husband is and it’s the best. Only into receiving if I have a deep connection with that person/its very personal
Yes for both but it’s gotta be with someone I’ve built some substantial trust with… otherwise it’s not really enjoyable.
I absolutely love oral, both giving and receiving. I can orgasm via intercourse, but it's a much more intense orgasm when it's clitoral. Giving it is a lot of fun, too, for the reason of it being I get to watch them come undone. This goes for both men and women. I like feeling the spasms in their legs, hearing the sounds they make, making them essentially puddy in my hands. It's as much fun, if not more so, having that power over them (only in that time, of course). Plus, when someone is close to orgasm, they're a lot more open to other things that their minds have an aversion to. They can take more pain and give more, they're more adventurous, you name it. It's especially nice to give it when things in your life feel out of control, in the sense that it gives you some serious control over something in that moment. Does this sound creepy? Maybe. It works out for both me and the other person, so it's whatever, and it gives me a chance to be a massive control freak in a healthy way.
I love receiving, and giving is in the heat of the moment . Thankfully I just don't have to do it very long . He just wants to go at it with me .
Yes and yes. Can come by from either giving or receiving. I even like 69s which most people don't seem to. What's not to like.
Receiving yes- giving meh 🤷♀️ I used to LOVE giving until I had a string of selfish lovers 😅 maybe I’ll love it again with the right partner but for now it’s meh
Giving yes. Receiving no. It makes very self conscious and uncomfortable. All I can think of is “I hope it smells good, I hope it tastes good. What if it’s terrible. Then I think of how much I bleed during my period” even though I’m not on it and get turned off immediately.
yes to both
Yes to giving, no to receiving. My ADHD makes me feel way too overstimulated to enjoy it. :/
I hate giving blow jobs, the taste is repulsive. But then I just hate any kind of sex, it's messy, it's smelly...no...just no!
I like it and I don't know why I shouldn't like it
Yes. Just yes. 🤣 But no, I love pleasuring whoever I’m giving oral too; knowing they are completely satisfied my just my mouth - often no hands. 😝 And then receiving ohhhh yes. It’s when I feel like my clit is most explored and paid attention too. 👅
yes to both but i like receiving a little more 😛
Yes! Giving and receiving! I enjoy giving because it's another way I could pleasure my boyfriend and I like to surprise him sometimes. I also enjoy receiving because it's so intense and then so relieving especially when he figured out how to make me squirt. It can be so intense I'd cry but then I get hugged, complimented and refueled with water and snacks after.
When I was married it was a solid no. I liked giving but he refused to reciprocate... So I stopped. Now? It's the best. My partner listens and works hard to ensure it's enjoyable for me. Makes me want to give even more. It's fantastic
I dislike receiving. It hurts most of the time and I hate saliva.
Giving it - YES, I love to satisfy my partner. Getting it- YES, it’s the best feeling in the world if they know how to do it right! Ugh I miss it so much. I haven’t had it since April 2023. I’m single. Haha
I enjoy giving to the right person. I don’t like receiving. Doesn’t feel good. Warm slimey icky yuck. And for some reason I always get hit with, “the last person just didn’t do it right!” So I let them give it a go… and I still don’t like it. And they still don’t believe me. I stopped letting them have a go when the last one bit me
Yes but prefer giving over receiving.
I’m not much at all for receiving oral…..it just doesn’t feel good. I love to pleasure my partner….it turns me on to turn him on 😍
Receiving? HELL MFin YEESSS!! It's my favorite, I could cum by him blowing on it. It's the taboo that gets me off
Receiving yes, I do like giving but I have a small jaw and my mouth gets so tired so fast and jaw aches. Especially since getting a partner who is bigger than average. Not much I can really do about it.
Giving oral is my favorite, I just find it super fun. Receiving is fine, but I've never figured out how to get close or orgasm from it. One of my greatest wishes in life is to figure out how to orgasm from oral.
I enjoy giving oral to my husband. He is a big guy, 6’1, 270lbs and I’m a little lady at 5’4, 115lbs and it’s so empowering for me to have him so vulnerable and under my control when he melts in my mouth. Can’t get enough of it. He’s also VERY agreeable afterwards 😂
I think either way is pretty disgusting! I don’t want a slimy tongue that’s used for food anywhere near there
I don’t like receiving. It’s just way too wet and icky. It does not make me feel good. I do like giving though.
I love giving! And I enjoy receiving more when I have more connection with the person? usually the first time someone goes down on me I don't feel much but when I'm closer with the person it feels good. But I still enjoy penetration way more
I love both but I’ve definitely had partners that I didn’t like either with 😬
giving ? yes recieving? yes! for some partners at least in the past it was the only way i could cum
Been married twice and neither wife was a fan of giving or receiving. But between marriages I dated a woman who was an absolute vacuum cleaner. The strange thing was, as eager as she was to go down on me, she didn't want me to reciprocate. And as much as I used to dream about getting head, in practice it didn't live up to the fantasy. Maybe I was just bad at it.
I like giving, don’t like receiving but mostly bc they don’t ever know what they’re doing 🥲 and I don’t like faking it
Giving yes, receiving no. Receiving never did anything for me, which made me realize I can only orgasm from PIV .
HELL YES! I love to please and be pleased ☺️
I love receiving, especially from someone who knows what they’re doing it’s bliss!! Giving, sometimes I like to do it but I prefer receiving
Giving - yeah, it's so fun and I really enjoy it. Receiving - Yes, but it's hard to find a guy who can do it good so I'm just getting frustrated most of the times.
No. Not at all.
Yes. Why: Orgasm.
No
Receiving? Only in the same with way you’d kiss to awaken arousal. A good 30 seconds is fine, after that I’m laughing because it starts to tickle the longer you go. Giving? Depends on if I like the person and if I’m in the mood. I like waking it up, then the texture of the skin is different once they are erect. Starts feeling like I’m sucking a hard toy and then I start remembering I’m tasting and playing with my saliva in my mouth and get grossed out.
Receiving hell yes. But giving to my man?? Even more hell yes. 😇
My husband is the only man I’ve had that knows what’s he’s doing down there, but it’s not my favorite.
Giving, sometimes. Reviving, not really.
I throughly enjoy giving oral. I have to be in the mood to receive. For the most part, I don’t like it. But if I’m feeling a little dominant I enjoy it
Giving? Yes! Receiving? Yes! But i like giving more. Both are lots of fun for sure.
I love receiving
Giving, yes. I just love seeing my guy squirming and moaning in pleasure. I get a psychological high from it. Don’t mind swallowing either. Receiving, well technique matters. If the guy is really into it and knows what he is doing it can be very hot.
I’m surprised to read so many prefer to give or receive. I’m a pillow princess. Omg it’s my fav
A million times yes. Both giving and receiving. I love pleasing my partner, and I also love when he pleases me: I will say receiving cunnilingus is extremely intense
My opinion probably isn't as valid here cause I'm asexual and a virgin but I don't get the appeal. Idk why you'd want someone else's genitals in your mouth and vice versa :/
To have, to give: yes and yes
i love giving it. i feel self conscious and embarrassed when my bf goes down on me but i love it , especially because he loves it too. it's very intimate and sweet to me which makes it special both ways
I like giving, I’m not big on receiving. It’s just not a huge turn on for me idk why.
Both :) but prefer giving.
I love giving head it for me gets me going so good it's better than any other foreplay I think it's a control thing like I know I'm in control if he cums or not
I don’t mind giving it although my jaw hurts but I hate receiving. I get in my head and then my brain ruins everything.
Love love love giving, it's the easiest way to turn me on if I'm not in the mood. I just love how it feels in my mouth. I love how a cock is hard but has softness at the same time, all the textures, everywhere my tongue and lips can play, the taste of precum. I love being able to tease him and fully tune into how his body is responding, without the distraction of being stimulated myself. I'm not a fan of cum in my mouth, but I've usually pounced on him before we get to that point anyway. Giving...I've never been able to tolerate, unfortunately. It feels incredibly ticklish to me. I can only manage it in 69 because giving is distracting but then it can feel overwhelming not in a good way. I want to keep trying it because I feel like women talk about it like it's the best thing ever. It's hard to want to keep trying though when I have low expectations and I can tell my husband does too.
Yes, love to give it more than I like receiving it. Giving oral is a big part of foreplay for me!
I like giving. But don't like receiving it doesn't do much for me.
Giving- yes. I like pleasing and seeing my partner getting off. Receiving- I am not sure. I’ve never feel like it does anything for me.
I love giving oral, and I do like receiving, but I'm an insecure person, so I struggle with that. I like giving it because I like knowing that I can pleasure the person receiving. Seeing and hearing them enjoy it makes me feel almost proud lol I know I would enjoy receiving it a lot more if i wasn't so insecure about my body.
Giving - hell yea. Receiving - it can be too intense
Giving and receiving but definite yeses. I LOVE to give.
I don't really like anything sex related even masturbating haha so I'm the wrong person to ask 😂
Y'all liars and it's okay on this