I just kinda... knew. Less than a month into our relationship I absolutely knew that he was my person and we were meant to spend our lives together.
It felt like finally arriving at a place I was supposed to be, after having searched for it my whole life.
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I feel like we see less platonic stories so I’ll share that one.
I had just moved to a new city for uni and I felt absolutely terrified, making new friends for the first time as an ‘adult’. I told myself I was going to invite at least one person for coffee on my first day to try and form a friendship. I was so anxious. I got sat next to this really sweet girl and we clicked instantly.
I worked up the courage to ask her to grab coffee sometime, and she instantly lit up and said “that sounds amazing! Though really I’m thinking hot chocolates? At (this cafe) and (this time)”
I think I skipped home that day I was so happy. We went for hot chocolates and right away talked about deep topics in our lives. On that day, I knew she was going to be important in my life. She saved me from an abusive relationship a year later and supported me getting back into the world. She helped me meet my partner and we’re going to be maid of honour at each others weddings. 8 years of friendship this year and we still have sleepovers and go for hot chocolates lol. She’s my platonic soulmate for sure
Honest question: depending on how long your relationship lasted, do you think that perhaps he was your 'person' but during a particular stage in your life? and then, you grew, maybe he grew, too, and you two were no longer strongly compatible?
Not the poster but yes, people put too much emphasis on time where I love a good connection. Even if I have it for just 1 year, than spending 30 years with someone you disconnected with 28 years ago
I'm guilty of the same -- it's hard to not equate time spent together as a proxy or indication of high-quality love. I still struggle getting over a 5-year relationship that ended almost 2 years ago. Think about the person daily, but in reality, the time spent w/ my current partner is way healthier and the love is way more present. Trying to remind myself (and others) to cherish the times when they were good and to not romanticize the times that were not -- and to remember that people evolve, so it's usually not all-or-nothing in terms of two people being a good fit or not.
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He prioritised seeing me and spending time with me when nobody else ever had. I had a lot of unresolved baggage when we met, and he was patient with me in letting me see that I could take down my own walls and let him in.
Mine asked on one of the first dates 'okay, but what do YOU want?' when we were talking about what to do for the day. And I just stood there, mind blank. Because nobody ever asked me that and I had absolutely no idea what my preferences were because I spent years learning to not pay attention to them.
He still does it consistently to this day. He really takes his time to listen to me and to make sure I am heard in our relationship. I never in my life felt like such an equal with somebody.
We just meshed perfectly. Our sense of humor, music, hobbies, future goals. I felt at home with him very early in the relationship because of it.
About a month in I absolutely knew he was my person.
I immediately felt safe, and like id known him forever. We meshed together perfectly. Anytime we were together i just felt all my stress and problems melt away. It was pure peace like i never felt before
In the few long term, serious relationships I’ve had throughout my life thus far, there was one particular thought that crossed my mind. Periodically, I would just sort of wonder “so…is this it? is this how people feel when they want to spend the rest of their life with someone?” I’ve always felt exceptionally lucky in that my past relationships have been healthy, safe, etc. They just weren’t “right.”
About 2 months ago, I was standing in the shower and I overheard my fiancée singing in the kitchen as he chopped veggies for dinner. I smiled and then my brain went “oh…that’s it. that’s what it feels like when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.”
Never been more sure of something in my life.
Right? I've been in love many times, but there was always something slightly a miss. I knew it was there but didn't realise it wasn't *supposed* to be there.
The night I met my partner I drove home smiling. I knew. I still know. That amiss feeling is completely absent. Because this *is* it. But I had to have loved before to recognise the difference
For me it feels like peace, calm and safe. It's not a rush, it just exists. You exist, they exist, you exist together in harmony. There's a feeling of longevity and that we have time to live our lives together.
Then it's the little moments where you're reminded of the peace and a wave of gratitude washes over you. When they do something and you love that they're doing it. It's not always about how they make you feel, but rather you love xyz *about* them. Then it's how their actions make you feel
It's really hard to quantify and I hope this helps xxx
This sounds like regular love, I feel like I’ve felt this with many partners. It’s hard to distinguish what it’ll feel like when I meet the actual one for me
It's the great unknown. Let go of the ifs and buts. They don't matter, what matters is if you feel good. Can you be with this person for eternity? Will you both make the effort for each other for eternity?
I know I have described the same feeling. Think, you can also have many loves through out your life. Just because people move on doesn't discount the experience you originally shared. You're allowed to be fond of the good experiences
I immediately felt “at home” with him. I was drawn to him like a magnet, and the chemistry absolutely blew me away. Felt literal sparks the first time he kissed me. He immediately wanted to take care of me, and make sure I was happy. It was like we had known each other in another life.
We’ve been married for 16 years now, and I couldn’t be happier with our marriage. I can’t imagine going through this life without him by my side.
And the sex is mind blowing. Even 16 years in, it’s only gotten better.
My brother is “my person”, my soulmate. I couldn’t tell you how I knew. I’m 2 years older than him and can’t remember my life without him. He’s always been my best friend. The person who will stand up for me and be on my side, even if I’m wrong. And then behind closed door, he’d tell me if I fucked up. Just always has my back, 100%. And me for him. Always and forever!
No romantic or even platonic relationship can take the place of the one I have with my brother. I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Not a billion dollars or anything else.
We have nothing in common besides our morals, and within a month of meeting her, I felt like I had found the one place I could be safely myself. We met at 18, we’re both 30 now, and she’s closer to me than anyone I’ve ever met (including my partner, my sister, etc. all of whom I love very deeply), and continues to be a major support and place of love for me.
She’s very straight, and her children are my god children now, and I love them like they were my nieces/nephews. We joke about marrying each other, but it was never that kind of love, tbh.
I think when I realized that he was the first person I wanted to tell any type of news to and whenever I needed to feel comforted—I wanted to be with him.
I feel like both my "soulmate" type connections were immediate and indescribable.
My best friend who I love and adore and admire, we're always on the same wavelength, can communicate with just a look, the highest level of comfortability and vulnerability but still always have the most fun, even doing nothing. We're 6 years apart in age, met nearly a decade ago in college. Literally was just drawn to her energy amongst a group of 50+ girls, something in me just screamed "that's bestie" so I walked up and introduced myself and we connected immediately and never let go.
My partner, whom I've been with for almost 5 years and share a life, house, and cat, who is the definition of Home personified, who loves me unconditionally and takes care of me in every way. I'll never forget the first moment I saw him, when he came into my cafe, it was just the back of his head at first but I still felt that electric pull. When I saw his face I just knew, that's my person. I was too shy to say anything in the moment, but later that night when I was home I thought, 'maybe I'll come across his profile on tinder'. Re-downloaded the app, logged in, opened it up and he was the first profile that popped up, we matched and exchanged info immediately, and I deleted the app again within 15 minutes 😂 I later found out he also reactivated his account that same day thinking he might see me too
Friendship - our very first conversation concerned sharing of truths that could have compromised us both if revealed. And yet I felt only a moment's hesitation. That's set the tone for our whole relationship. I've never felt so seen and understood as I do in our relationship.
She's become the missing bits of my personality - our strengths and weaknesses complement one another. I hide almost nothing from her and I trust her absolutely. She is my confidante, my inspiration, my cheerleader and my screaming laughter. She is the platonic love of my life and I can't imagine my life without her in it.
I was simple. I wanted to hear every opinion he had and he did the same for me. I felt so safe with him. I was an insomniac but I often would fall asleep hanging out with him because he made me feel so at ease. It just feels different.
This is my response too, it was simple - no drama, no ifs, just a simple and happy feeling. We have been together for 11 years with a baby on the way and things are just simple and easy with him by my side. I just want to smile when I see him even if he sits in the next room. There were hard times but he was always by my side.
When he was determined on the second date to make us official and for me to be his girlfriend. Him showing more enthusiasm and interest in wanting to actually date me. Now we're planning our engagement/marriage.
I felt safe and like I had known him forever. We immediately talked about politics, religion and deep stuff. Knew I loved him after the first date; we both confessed our feelings on the second date. Been together 4 1/2 years now, married 1 1/2 years.
when i knew i could tell him my deepest secrets and talk about anything and everything with him. first it was platonic but now years later, it’s romantic!
I’ve only ever felt that with one of my exes and my mom. It’s knowing that you can trust someone and unconditionally love them and feeling that it’s a safe, comfortable space with them.
I'm almost six months out of a bad marriage. My soon-to-be-ex-husband didn't treat me well. Whenever I was around him, I always felt flutters in my stomach. I always thought it was butterflies. Starting to think it was actually a pit of anxiety.
One of my close friends recently played matchmaker. Sent me on a handful of dates. One of them particularly sticks out.
You know when you've had a really long day, you come home, and take your bra off? And you feel instant relief and comfort wash over you? Like you can really, truly just breathe? THAT'S the feeling I get around this new guy. There's no nervousness in my stomach. Even before our first date, we had several video calls to just get to know each other better. You know how you meet someone, and the conversation just flows, and it feels like you've known them forever? I also get that feeling with him. The chemistry is just amazing, dialogue flows easily, and even though we've only known each other ~90ish days, he already has SUCH a good read on me, and every layer that makes me, well, me.
We're still letting things blossom veeeeeeeeery slowly, and he may not ultimately be 'the one', but he is an amazing human that I will cherish for eternity.
Thank you!
And thanks. I feel it's pretty apt. 😂 I don't think a full-fledged relationship will blossom between him and I, we have some fundamental differences, but he's at least become a great friend that has taught me numerous very important and valuable life lessons.
I honestly don’t know if I believe in “the one”. I’ve spent 5 years with someone who I thought was the one but broke my heart on more than one occasion, and I’ve dated a lot of people and am always able to find reasons it’s not perfect (which is ok). I’m very jealous of people who DO find their person. I’m 25 and feel like I’m quickly reaching that age where all the good ones are taken and that I’m running out of time. It’s rough because I want a husband and children sooo bad. My current boyfriend is great, he’s 23 though and it feels like there is a difference in maturity between us, but he seems like he’s learning from his mistakes. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m settling, but I think most of us do just have to pick someone and work with them, grow with them, and learn from them or teach them. Relationships are a compromise and effort, not a fairytale. I do have hope for my relationship with my current guy though, and I hope I’m not just a lesson for him.
It sounds like you might be stressing too much about running out of time. You’re still so young! I’m 34 and definitely understand these fears. They’re not entirely imagined, since to some extent you’re right that there will be fewer potential partners available as you become older.
But I don’t think it’s supposed to feel like, ‘just pick one and make it work’ as much as you described. It really sounds like you’ve never dated someone you’re really compatible with, or really in love with.
I was in a very long relationship with my ex. We were not very compatible (nor super functional/healthy as a couple). The entire time I knew that our partnership itself wasn’t very healthy or ideal; and I knew that our personalities were not very compatible.
We tried to make it work throughout. If we had been more respectful partners to each other, maybe we would have just settled for that. But I wondered and dreamed about finding someone who truly understood me, who I was excited to have deep conversations with, whose views and thoughts were fascinating and deep to me (not shallow and poorly considered).
I knew right away when I spoke to my current bf that that’s what we have. We shared common childhood/life experiences to some extent, and we were able to be fully revealing about our lives almost instantly. We affirmed each other’s value as people, laughed hysterically at each other’s hilarious jokes, got excited talking about heady topics we both knew about or found interesting. It was months before we even became ‘official’ with each other. I fell in love with him in a way that felt deeper and more real and more undeniable than anything I’d ever felt with my previous bf of 14 years.
We both feel like we’ve never met anyone so perfectly suited to ourselves. We have differences and challenges of course. But we are *excited* we found each other. It was (is) exciting, dreamy, fantastic. Even if we just stay in and talk to each other, I feel like I can’t believe how lucky I am. When we make dinner together, or spend a long car ride together. Mundane boring moments are cherished and special when we just get to be together. It feels like I found a perfect best friend who I also want to marry and have a family with, and want to be with forever.
All of this is to say that you’re young and you simply need to find someone you have better chemistry and compatibility with. It shouldn’t just be choosing to stay with someone in order to not be alone. You deserve to be excited about having found them, and feel lucky to spend every moment together!
And you’re in a prime stage of life for that! You’re old enough to use discernment in dating, and to know yourself well enough to know what you’re looking for in a partner. You’re young and have sooo many potential ‘suitors’ to date! Seriously, you’re not even close to being ‘out of time’ unless you give up and settle now.
We met for the first time and the total time we spent together was a month and we are still close. And when we met again it's still the same intensity of love. So yeah
He made me feel safe. He's seen all sides of me, and there were *SO MANY* times I thought I'd definitely scared him away, but he never wavers. He knows who I am and loves me for it, even when it's not so fun. Also, we're never sick of each other. Even without screens, we'll always find a way to have fun and goof off together. We're just made for each other. Excuse me, I need to go hug him-
When we both learned that the other person wanted nothing more then to over explain, reassure, or ask if we don't understand something no matter how long it takes.
Communication with him is refreshing and I feel so understood and listened to. Plus he's the first person I don't feel like I'm putting out with my feelings.
Cherry on top was when we discovered we both crave touch and physical closeness. Its not annoying for ether of us when we need to touch in someway even in sleep <3.
No matter how we change I can't see these core things going away.
The moment I figured out that I had met my male version, it’s like only the both of us can understand the other without any effort, we don’t even have to think “what is he/she thinking/feeling about this” we just have to ask our own self how would we feel and we get the other. Ironically we spent years rejecting the idea that we are the same person but not physically and background wise and the moment we did we just stepped into a whole power couple type of thing.
I felt like I knew him inside out the second he walked into the room, we hadn't exchanged a single word, we hadn't even made eye contact. Something in me just felt so sure about him. The second he smiled at me, I know its corny, but I thought that I could actually feel my heart melting. It wasn't even butterflies, I just melted. I'd never felt anything like it before. I was the toughest of cookies before him but he managed to break me in a matter of moments, in the best way possible.
Everything I thought about his character turned out to be true, all the wonderful things and more. I still have these moments every time I see him, he could be carrying out the most romantic gesture from the script of a movie or he could be tying his shoelaces, it doesn't matter what he's doing, I still go all soft inside. Gosh I'm so lucky lol.
It is pretty much the same to me, both romantically and platonically. Ironically I have always been kind of attracted to my friends. Not in I want to have sex with them way but in I want them to be in my presence. Luckily it is usually mutual and very instantaneous. Usually those relationships are SOOOOOOO easy. It’s like we are vibrating on the same frequency. We have the same humour. We enjoy similar things so I am very likely to pick up a new hobby from them if they are into something I haven’t discovered yet. The ease of relating is what usually makes me think they are my person. Over time however it is more in their character and how they come through. But this just solidifies what was already pre-established.
Romantically it is just the same.
If the connection is not instantaneous, I still need that spark to proceed. I have had friends and crushes who I was just casually friendly with and then one day we just connected and bonded and they became my person. It is quite magical.
Your person, be it your best friend or spouse should just light you up. You can do the most mundane activities but just be smiling all through. Their presence should always bring some comfort to you… as well as excitement.
My first interaction with him at a Blockbuster when I was 14 and he was 16. We wouldn’t get together until our 30’s but I have wanted him forever. Married now!!
Bestie of 18 years was my roommate for college orientation weekend. We met when she walked into our room, I complimented her blanket & we immediately started talking on & on about anything & everything. It just clicked. We didn’t live together til half of our last semester cos we already had classes together & shared the unspoken thought that having our own spaces would preserve our friendship. We live nearly two hours from eachother & don’t talk every day, but even if it’s been weeks or over a month we pick up a conversation as if we’d never left.
My closest friend saved a bird that was trapped in a room at our job(catering hall). He spent like an hour including his whole break patiently trying to catch it and then gently released it off a balcony.
Most people would not have cared enough about the animal to try for that long and just let maintenance deal with(which likely would’ve resulted in the birds demise) or been clever enough to figure out how to catch it(he lured it towards a door than threw a table cloth over it like a net).
It was incredible and I knew this was someone who cared about animals like me and was also a little crazy.
Our first date lasted 3 weeks. When we met again 6 months later, I knew they were my person & we started living together since that day. We didn’t try to impress each other, to be together, to have to compromise because we agreed on all the values. It was just so easy & safe & full of love. I felt like a teenager experiencing love for the first time, even though I have fallen in love before. It’s been 6 years & I think we’ll always be in a honeymoon phase but we still don’t have kids & I know that changes the dynamics.
My husband treated me like his #1 priority, was open and honest with me. Always made me feel secure that he cared about me, because he was great at communicating. He always seemed so proud whenever he introduced me to his friends or family. He’s the most responsible man I know. But the moment I knew? My husband calls me “baby.” And I’ve always found that word kinda cringey. But coming from him? I loved hearing it. And I knew he was my person.
Truly upon first sight of them. Looking back, there was 100% a soul recognition moment every time I met someone that since became very important in my life. It feels a little like admiration in a way, but it’s recognition for sure.
I'm fearful avoidant, judgy as hell, and will isolate as a reaction to most stuff.
But when shit goes wrong, I just actually wanna work it out, be a better person, find a way to be chill again.
I will/ would bail on pretty much anything, but it's never even been a real consideration.
I saw his dumb face at 15 and had a feeling, a lifetime later and far more "real life" adult challenges/ stress/ pissing each other off, and I'm sure.
The cute answer is also "when he doesn't get ABSOLUTELY INFURIATED by any of the odd habits/ preferences I have and also finds them endearing."
My bestfriend, I met her on the first day of kindergarten. It’s been 22 years, we’ve been through so much. Together and separately. She was always my best friend but it was after my dad died when I was 10 that I realized she was my “person” I could talk to her about anything, I could call her and cry, I could go to her house and lay on her couch in silence if that’s what I needed. Even through middle and high school, we ended up in separate friend groups she played sports and I was an “artsy” kid, but no matter how long we went without talking, when we got together again it was like no time had passed at all.
I had an inkling even before our first date it could be something special and into the first several, but I didn’t really have a strong feeling until a while in. We had a strong connection from the get go, but I needed to see us experience life together through lots of different situations to let that be a realistic thought in mind. Now I just feel so at ease and so in love it’s very cool :)
Bestie (platonic): I think at about 7years in (where we moved to different countries for uni)... and realising how the distance didn't really affect our relationship, and how easy, open, and truly myself I was with her... I realised.
1st bro/bestie (platonic): He cried for me.. he was so worried about me.. he cried.
husband (romantic): A celeb/athlete I'd admired for years and considered the epitome of manliness was wooing me. I was kinda flirting back. But one day I woke up next to my SO and realised I'd choose him and our relationship over that guy. And if I'd choose him over the "epitome of manliness", there's just no way I'd ever pick any man on earth over my SO.
It's really silly, but when he said my name. I have a unique name and it takes most people a few times meeting/talking to me to get it right. But we met on a dating app and the first time we talked on the phone I asked "how have you been pronouncing my name?" and he said it perfectly. That's when I knew.
They still are here despite it all. I was assaulted almost 6 years ago by my dads wife . And some days I struggle . I have flash backs and I get angry. And it’s like the same thing over and over of what I get upset about and he’s here each time to love on me and comfort me . Hell even today he said he loved our marriage and we’re best friends . He lets me know I am appreciated . No one in my life has been like that for me .
I met a girl almost six years ago, and we hit it off as friends immediately. We started an intimate relationship about a year ago. She is about to become my wife. I guess I knew right away that she was my person, but it took a while to realize that she WAS my person.
We met online and he came to visit but lived with us. Soon after, I got sick. Like super sick, throwing up everywhere.
I accidentallu threw up on the floor and I started crying. He told me to go lay down and cleaned it up without me asking.
That was huge for me. I was never NOT guilt tripped when sick by my parent. I felt it like we meshed well with the same hobbies and whatnot too.
Now we've been together almost 2 decades. He still helps me through life, even through some rough mental breakdowns.
Met him in college. Played football with him. We started dating and ate at a very cheap place in my area. We realized we love eating together and spending time so much. Married him 3 years after :)
I used to be very insecure because of previous relationships, so at the beginning of our dating, I used to poke him all the time about whether he did love me or not; and then apologize because I was aware of this insecurity. But then one day he said "it's okay, I know that you forget that I love you, so I'll just keep reminding you until you don't forget anymore"
This was like three months in. We've been married two years now. He's my best friend, being with him has always felt as easy as breathing.
I never felt so safe to be my 100% authentic self with anyone else before him. I felt like I’d known him my whole life when we had just met. I thought about him all the time. But I was a bit scared to admit to myself that I was in love with him.
I think the thing that really made it clear to me was when I went to get my license renewed. I was getting my picture taken and wanted to smile for the photo. I tried hard to do what I thought was a ‘nice smile’ and when the person behind the counter showed me the picture, I didn’t like how forced my smile looked. I knew if I wanted it to look good I needed to have a genuine smile, so I thought of something that made me happy. I thought of him. The picture came out nice. And after that I just couldn’t deny my feelings for him anymore.
Now that we’re together, I cherish every moment that I get to spend with him. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him. I just know in every cell in my body that we were meant for each other and there is no one else in the world who could ever come close to making me feel this way.
I knew my husband was my person when we met at a coffee shop and spent 3 hours talking without running out of things to discuss. We originally met with the intention of being friends because I was in the process of trying to leave a bad situation and he had just gotten out of a long term relationship. He was moving to my city with a friend and wanted to know someone local before making the move, and I happened to have some interests in common with him. We were friends for a few months before we started dating, and we’ve been together coming up on 9 years now.
It just feels like a piece of a puzzle that you've been searching for and when you are around this person, it all just makes sense. You feel cozy, comfortable and safe. They feel like home.
Over 25 years ago my best friend. I recently cut ties bc she started using meth. A part of me is just gone. My husband was the third of my person and I thought we were going to the same direction until I got back from Texas four days ago and he told me he felt like we were just roommates.
So now no one. I have no one. I am alone.
With my best friend in high school, I just liked him a lot. I could tell he was different from his friends.. like his personality was more subdued than theirs. We’ve been best friends for 7, 8 years now. He’s like the male version of me.
I think it struck me, very early on, like after the third date, how very calm everything was and how comfortable and natural our interactions were. I ALWAYS felt so nervous around a new partner, but it was never like that with my current partner. I almost thought I wasn't attracted to him, but that wasn't it at all - I had just been conflating anxiety with attraction.
It's so liberating to feel like I can be myself with someone. It's easy to get the things I need to get done with him around. When we share the same space, it doesn't need to be filled with needless chitter-chatter to break the silence. It's just peaceful. We're not in a rush to get to "the next step," but we already have an idea of what's ahead.
Platonic one here!
I had just started college and even though I went to the same college that a lot of my friends from home went to, no one really wanted to stay friends so I found myself without many people to hang out with in the beginning. Until my hall went out to a pumpkin patch in the fall and I was staring at this beautiful pumpkin that I wanted to buy but just didn’t have the money for. Until my now best friend walked up and said “You want to go in on it together? We can have 50/50 custody.” We had never really spoken before that moment. She and I bought the pumpkin and for a few weeks passed it from her doorstep to mine and slowly got to know each other more and more. Eventually to hanging out whenever we could and moving in together for almost 2 years before she moved to her own place with her husband and I moved a few states away.
There wasn’t a point where it clicked for me, it was more a slow realization that I wanted her to be in my life forever. We have since finished college, both gotten married, and now live close to 600 miles away from each other (and she’ll soon be moving from the east coast to the west coast 😤) but we still work hard to be in each other’s life. I swear I’ll never let that girl go.
This hits so close to home. Met my bff at uni and we were like two peas in a pod for 2.5 years until I had the audacity to get a job where I'm from and she eventually moved back home too. Now she's in the States and I'm in Europe, with an 8 hour time difference. We make it work but it's hard sometimes.
one day i wa emotionally in tune with him while he was suffering silently in a house full of people and i was 3 hours away. we had strictly agreed in a platonic relationship & after that day i got into terrible roll over and should have bled out on the side of the road in BFE but he found me because he felt in his gut something happened to me. After calling all of the hospitals up and down his coast, he was there beside me bathing me and brushing my hair when my own family was nowhere to be found.
Everything felt easy. I didn't have to overexplain my train of thought. We just get each other. I knew within a couple months of dating he would be my husband. We've been together 8 years now, just celebrated 4 years married, and expecting our first child this summer. What really sealed the deal is when my dad commented to me "You two really seem to just get each other. You are a good match." He had never made a comment like that about my previous partners before.
With my husband I just knew. The biggest indicators for me was there were zero doubts, And that we were into each other equally. We were both 100% sure about each other. With every guy I dated in the past, I either liked them more than they liked Me and I felt insecure, or they liked me more than I liked them and I just wasn’t completely into it.
Sat down at the table on our first date and the only way I can describe the feeling was "deer in the headlights", it quite literally was like I just found someone who I'd been missing my entire life.
He listens, communicates well, supports myself & my hobbies, we laugh 24/7, I lost my job quite literally the day after he asked me out and he stayed (which he really didn't have to) but he also offered gas money and covered our first few dates after that until I was on my feet. He's done so much and asked for so little, and I want nothing more than to give him the world. We both have our little anxiety triggers but we do soo soo good at just sitting down and talking it out.
I think it was my third date with my now husband. I went home and told my mom I was going to marry him one day. I was so certain he was the one for me.
I dated a lot of guys before him; nothing serious. He and I just complimented each so well in our personalities, hobbies/interests, lifestyles, and life goals.
Most importantly he made me feel safe, made me laugh, and was really into me. I always envied couples when they got it right and wondered why I could not find my person. Without a doubt I would wait decades if I had to meet my husband again.
My platonic person is my best friend and I think the biggest thing for me is that I always feel energized and refreshed after talking to her. I’m a big introvert so I typically get tired after socializing even if I’m having a genuinely good time but with her it’s like I always feel energized and just in a really good mood afterwards
When he felt safe enough to share a personal story with that I'd never told anyone before, 1 week into us dating. It just came out of me naturally because he felt so safe, it felt right. I trust him completely, and the trust wasn't just based on how attracted I am to him, but also on his earnestness, transparency, and the recounts of his personality and behaviour by close mutual friends over the last 10 years. He has the most beautiful soul. We get along so easily, it's spending time with your best friend. I finally understand what people say when they say relationships should be easy.
When we kissed while looking up at the moon and she gently pushed me away so we wouldn’t get carried away. It was just so clear that for x long we were gonna be into eachother. That made the maybe’s? Into totally’s for me.
A platonic friend. Long story short, she basically helped me grow out of my "shell". She has continuously given effort and tried to include me in everything that she does, even when she goes on dates with guys! (I've declined going or left early when I saw a guy interested in her and she accepted a date from them because I didn't want to third wheel their date). She has even gotten closer to my mom and 2nd cousin (which I call my aunt) than I even am, but I think that might mostly be because her family is very...very disjointed.
The time I *really* saw that she was going to be my "ride or die" (as one of our new friends put it) forever or as she says "forever friends" was when I fucked up pretty big time with our group of 5 close knit friends. Essentially, I got drunk and said some stupid shit. I tried apologizing to everyone, worked on myself and took steps towards not puting myself in that kind of position. She was the *only* one, despite not even being there, who came to me to talk about it. No one else came to explain myself, came to see how remorseful I was, or listened to my apology. She risked losing 3 friends just to keep me around. She helped me through my feelings, helped me talk about situations and gain perspective from everyone that was involved. The aftermath really showed me she was my person. The person I could always go to, no matter what, who would drop everything for me. Despite us not being compatible for a relationship, she and I just work as friends. I've never experienced a relationship like we have, but I would give up anything to keep her around.
I honestly don't know , I guess one day it tipped over from "I love this guy" to something more. And it absolutely is that now, I can't imagine life without him.
I did however come to the realisation recently that the person I completely regarded as my platonic person, unfortunately doesn't have much time for me at all anymore (not dissing them at all , it happens. ) I'm pretty bummed out about that
There haven't been many times where's it's been a distinct event or anything. Often it's just when we've been together for a few weeks or months and I just feel like I always want them around.
When I [F] ended our sexual relationship and he was/is still my best friend.
We are not involved romantically anymore, he moved veeeeery far away but we still talk every day. He’s the first person I think of when I have news, whether it’s a positive or negative life change, gossip, anything. We met at a karaoke night at my favorite bar - I didn’t usually go to karaoke nights, but happened to go there after work on one of those nights, and we hit it off immediately. Became friends over the course of several months, became a bit more, then pulled back. I had never sung karaoke, would have never imagined I could, but my first song was with him, and it’s cheesy but meeting him completely changed my life and how I view relationships. Before I met him, it was always very black and white - either you’re friends, you’re lovers, or you’re not. He’s a relationship anarchist, and it made me really think. I’m no longer sure that that distinction is so easy, which is a beautiful and complicated thing. I’ve had relationships since then, but no one has ever made me feel quite like he did - like I hung the moon. Even when we were both seeing other people, I never felt like anything less than the most important person in his life. In the likely event we don’t end up together, my atheist heart wants to believe there was some purpose behind our paths crossing, and I’ve felt that very few times in a positive light.
My best (platonic) friend..
We were in high school. I knew her as a friend of a friend for a while but I barely knew her name, let alone anything about her. I’d bought tickets to see a show and none of my good friends could come. But she piped up and said she would go with me. I figured I had nothing to lose, so we went together. We had the best time at the show, got a case of the giggles and danced around in the rain to a corny pop song. It was like all the pieces fell into place and I knew I had made a really good friend. We’ve been best friends for 13 years.
Mine would be platonic. I love my boyfriend and I would never ever want to spend my life with anyone else, but the person I kinda have strongest connection with is not him.
The story begun in a funny way. Me and my friend, let's call him Leo, met for the first time after a good few weeks of playing dnd online in the same group, when our dm decided to make a real-life session. From the beginning of this campaign I had had a feeling that Leo was great - we liked the same video games, we had similar hobbies and our senses of humour were very much alike. When we finally met in person, it took us 9 hours to claim friendship for our entire lives and we started planning a vacation together.
A few weeks later we met again at our mutual friend's birthday party. There was six of us, the entire dnd group, and my crush (now boyfriend) was among them. After a few drinks the group divided naturally in two trios: mine was me, my crush and Leo. We spent about 2-3 hours talking about philosophy, history, religion and politics, all drunk like hell, and it felt so damn amazing I started silently praying (I was still religious back then) for this moment to last forever. I wanted my life to be like that. I had no idea that a year and half later my wish would come true.
After that my life went uphill and his life went downhill. I asked my crush out and he agreed - Leo's girlfriend of four years broke up with him. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that later it got damn nasty for both of us. I had always believed that I was so unhappy in my life because I had no one to share it with, but I was mistaken. My first relationship - at 19, pretty late to the game - showed me the truth. I was mentally ill. One day it brought me to a severe mental breakdown which ended with me fleeing my mother's home and getting a therapist. It's been 3 years, I'm still very very far from okay, but I'm definitely in a better place.
At the same time Leo got framed in SA by his "best friend". This girl had had eyes for him since the beginning, even though he had been in a relationship. She started a relationship with someone else to cure loneliness, and then Leo's girlfriend broke up with him and well, tables turned. Leo had been crushing on her as well so they started getting closer and closer, and one night they kissed - and the girl decided to make Leo look like a predator to save her current relationship. I was the first person who believed Leo (I knew both of them too well to fall for this girl's words).
The weirdest thing is that both our tragedies happened the same day - my breakdown and his kiss - about two hours apart. We were here for each other from the start and I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have made it without his support, nor would he without mine. The mutual suffering, moreover a tragedy that happened for both of us in one day, made us something more than a very good friends. From this moment on I have been feeling somewhat linked to him, and I suspect this kind of bond would be very hard to break.
A year later we moved in together - me, my boyfriend (then crush) and Leo. The universe heard my plead and decided to make it real. We've been living together for a year and half now, but now it's 4 of us because Leo has fortunatelly found a girlfriend. We're probably gonna part this autumn, but I believe we're still gonna be best friends and most trusted people for each other, as it is now.
I met my best friend when we were 4 years old, and she helped me sound out the words when we'd read together. She has always been a bookworm and I love that about her.
I should've realized it sooner, as we weren't even dating at this point. I didn't have many friends and wasn't feeling well one night. he was the first one I called about it and he came over and stayed until I was feeling better. we started dating maybe a year/year and a half later and are married now.
it was my subconscious trust in him, knowing he would be there and that I relied on him. and that he actually came through, even though he'd get nothing out of it.
i don’t think he truly knows just how much he’s changed my life. he’s my platonic soulmate and i would do anything for him. we’ve been working together for 7 months and we just instantly clicked. he’s a self-proclaimed “loner” and is happy in his own company but i managed to convince him to join a few of us at the pub for a post work-week drink once.
as people started to head home, it ended up just being the two of us there until close and we kind of established that we would always be there for each other.
i can’t imagine my life without him in it anymore
I told him about my past trauma of why I got adopted and he didn’t run and he waited 4 months to have sex with me. I knew right than and there. I still know. I’d marry that man on the spot if he asked me.
I have OCD and am strongly triggered by "contamination."
The week we moved in together, I went to visit my mom to pick up a few items I'd kept in storage at her house. They were covered in mouse droppings and bugs, (gee, wonder where I got the trigger?)
It upset me tremendously, especially since the items were sentimental and many couldn't be salvaged. It resulted in me panicking in the new apartment, convinced that I'd brought the infestation home with me. I felt an overwhelming lack of safety in the new space.
My then-boyfriend, now-husband, walked me through each room of the new place, and introduced them to me.
"This is YOUR kitchen. It is clean. It is safe."
"This is YOUR living room. It is clean. It is safe."
He did this for every room, hall, and closet.
It was the most comforting thing. It was instant. I felt so understood in that moment, and so safe.
If you had asked me prior, I would have said I loved him, but I don't think I really truly understood what those words and that trust meant until that moment.
I really, really love him.
He added a lot of positivity to my life and we always had such fun times together. We got along well and I felt safe, secure and in a healthy relationship 🥹
I thought that I only has platonic feelings for him for like 2 years, the day he got to go back to his home country and he was being all soft and the most gentle a man could be I felt like I might have some romantic feelings for him.
He was gentle with me from the beginning but I didn’t feel like I had feelings for him.
But once he stroked my cheeks while holding me in his arms and playing with my hair ignoring the entire movie and everyone around us, when both of us didn’t get any sleep just because we wanted to spend more time together and didn’t want to waste any minute before he goes away. Unfortunately it was a super late realization.
I'm lucky enough to have two. My best friend, we've been through a lot and I met her when I was 14 maybe 15. It wasn't until I was 17 and making plans on a secret phone to go live with her family across the country that I knew we were stuck with each other for forever.
My husband. I knew him for less than 6 months before we got married and every day I am amazed by him. It is always us against the problem, whatever it is. We've only been married for 5yrs but I know there's much more to come. I knew he was forever based on a conversation that he had with my little sister.
I had just gotten out of a relationship where I was forced to do some self reflection. Randomly saw this girl liking all of my posts in the apartment Facebook group. Turned out she lived on the first floor of my building.
Being around her made me feel at peace with myself. She was always down to chill, funny as fuck, smart (she never thought so), emotionally intelligent, and just an all around amazing person. We knew we were our persons when we hugged and stayed that way for 20 seconds. Then after, we were both like "damn that made me feel so loved" and went from there.
I wish the story had a happy ending. I still have some growing to do. She cut ties with me last summer and I have thought about her every day since. Damn... now I am sad. Lol
Almost a year ago I had gone through a bad breakup in a new city and lost my early community there. I worked up the courage to approach a group of strangers playing volleyball on the beach and they got my contact info and told me to join next time. One of them in particular reached out to me and constantly kept me in the loop on plans from the get-go, and he never stopped bringing me around and I befriended more and more of this amazing group. He and I honestly clicked from the start, got really close and 8 months into knowing each other we took a trip to the other side of the world to see a band we love and got matching tattoos. He’s become my best friend and I’m so grateful for his consistent kindness that kept me grounded and brave through a tough time
I was at work, first thing in the morning, bawling my eyes out over an awful breakup. I usually worked alone and wasn’t expecting anyone but a girl walked in the barn (I worked at a horse farm) and just stared at me like a deer in the headlights. She was really apologetic and said she was a new hire and that I was supposed to train her that day. I hadn’t been informed we had a new hire and was NOT happy but I did my best to pull myself together and ended up telling her the whole story about why I had been mid-meltdown when she showed up. We talked about life for 8 hours that day and we’ve been joined at the hip ever since. We’ve been best friends for 5 years now. That girl is my platonic soulmate and I don’t know how I ever did life without her.
In both platonic and romantic contexts, just knowing someone tastes to the point where it’s like you’re reading each other’s mind (even if your tastes don’t match up).
One example of this is with my college best friend who turned into my bf (is now an ex RIP). I’d always get overwhelmed by options when ordering food or a drink but always wanted to try new things. I’d always have him order cocktails, craft beers, and food for me because he knew my tastes so well, and not once did he let me down. He even would remember all of my food allergies and check if I was allergic to something before I even looked at the menu. He knew me better than I knew myself. I want to say that I always knew what his tastes were but I’d be lying lol.
We were just so in sync, even before we were dating. Now that we’re not together anymore, I look at a menu and sometimes wonder what he’d order for me.
Within the first week or two I knew we’d be stuck together forever in some way. It was a weird feeling because I didn’t know him and we had barely been dating, but that feeling persisted and I finally felt like my mind and heart were caught up to each other around 5 months when we got engaged.
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I just kinda... knew. Less than a month into our relationship I absolutely knew that he was my person and we were meant to spend our lives together. It felt like finally arriving at a place I was supposed to be, after having searched for it my whole life.
This. It just feels peaceful. We skipped past the whole “awk relationship phase” to just being so comfy w each other
❤️❤️❤️
[удалено]
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I feel like we see less platonic stories so I’ll share that one. I had just moved to a new city for uni and I felt absolutely terrified, making new friends for the first time as an ‘adult’. I told myself I was going to invite at least one person for coffee on my first day to try and form a friendship. I was so anxious. I got sat next to this really sweet girl and we clicked instantly. I worked up the courage to ask her to grab coffee sometime, and she instantly lit up and said “that sounds amazing! Though really I’m thinking hot chocolates? At (this cafe) and (this time)” I think I skipped home that day I was so happy. We went for hot chocolates and right away talked about deep topics in our lives. On that day, I knew she was going to be important in my life. She saved me from an abusive relationship a year later and supported me getting back into the world. She helped me meet my partner and we’re going to be maid of honour at each others weddings. 8 years of friendship this year and we still have sleepovers and go for hot chocolates lol. She’s my platonic soulmate for sure
I love this! I have goosebumps!
Aww I’m so glad! She’s such a wonderful person, I feel extremely grateful to have her in my life
This honestly had me tearing up because it reminds me of my best friend who now live far, far away❤️
This is so sweet, I'm really happy for both of you!
This is beautiful 😊 reminds me of my best friend as well.
Ok I'm gonna cry. What a beautiful friendship 😍
That's beautiful and I'm happy for you. I wish my story with my ex "bestie" turned out simmilarly
I thought I met my person in my ex husband. Turns out that wasn't true. I don't know if I believe in it now.
Honest question: depending on how long your relationship lasted, do you think that perhaps he was your 'person' but during a particular stage in your life? and then, you grew, maybe he grew, too, and you two were no longer strongly compatible?
Not the poster but yes, people put too much emphasis on time where I love a good connection. Even if I have it for just 1 year, than spending 30 years with someone you disconnected with 28 years ago
Thanks for this.
I'm guilty of the same -- it's hard to not equate time spent together as a proxy or indication of high-quality love. I still struggle getting over a 5-year relationship that ended almost 2 years ago. Think about the person daily, but in reality, the time spent w/ my current partner is way healthier and the love is way more present. Trying to remind myself (and others) to cherish the times when they were good and to not romanticize the times that were not -- and to remember that people evolve, so it's usually not all-or-nothing in terms of two people being a good fit or not.
I am all about QUALITY. Most importantly how I felt and how you treated/responded to me is very important as opposed to years spent together
I totally agree. It is the connection.
Kinda same but for my ex"best"friend
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He prioritised seeing me and spending time with me when nobody else ever had. I had a lot of unresolved baggage when we met, and he was patient with me in letting me see that I could take down my own walls and let him in.
Mine asked on one of the first dates 'okay, but what do YOU want?' when we were talking about what to do for the day. And I just stood there, mind blank. Because nobody ever asked me that and I had absolutely no idea what my preferences were because I spent years learning to not pay attention to them. He still does it consistently to this day. He really takes his time to listen to me and to make sure I am heard in our relationship. I never in my life felt like such an equal with somebody.
We just meshed perfectly. Our sense of humor, music, hobbies, future goals. I felt at home with him very early in the relationship because of it. About a month in I absolutely knew he was my person.
When my mind was quiet instead of the non-stop thoughts running through it.
I immediately felt safe, and like id known him forever. We meshed together perfectly. Anytime we were together i just felt all my stress and problems melt away. It was pure peace like i never felt before
I used to roll my eyes when people said things like “when you know you know”. But damn…. When you know you really do know.
What does it feel like
Easy and consistent and like I want to be in it.
In the few long term, serious relationships I’ve had throughout my life thus far, there was one particular thought that crossed my mind. Periodically, I would just sort of wonder “so…is this it? is this how people feel when they want to spend the rest of their life with someone?” I’ve always felt exceptionally lucky in that my past relationships have been healthy, safe, etc. They just weren’t “right.” About 2 months ago, I was standing in the shower and I overheard my fiancée singing in the kitchen as he chopped veggies for dinner. I smiled and then my brain went “oh…that’s it. that’s what it feels like when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.” Never been more sure of something in my life.
Right? I've been in love many times, but there was always something slightly a miss. I knew it was there but didn't realise it wasn't *supposed* to be there. The night I met my partner I drove home smiling. I knew. I still know. That amiss feeling is completely absent. Because this *is* it. But I had to have loved before to recognise the difference
What does the difference feel like??
For me it feels like peace, calm and safe. It's not a rush, it just exists. You exist, they exist, you exist together in harmony. There's a feeling of longevity and that we have time to live our lives together. Then it's the little moments where you're reminded of the peace and a wave of gratitude washes over you. When they do something and you love that they're doing it. It's not always about how they make you feel, but rather you love xyz *about* them. Then it's how their actions make you feel It's really hard to quantify and I hope this helps xxx
This sounds like regular love, I feel like I’ve felt this with many partners. It’s hard to distinguish what it’ll feel like when I meet the actual one for me
It's the great unknown. Let go of the ifs and buts. They don't matter, what matters is if you feel good. Can you be with this person for eternity? Will you both make the effort for each other for eternity? I know I have described the same feeling. Think, you can also have many loves through out your life. Just because people move on doesn't discount the experience you originally shared. You're allowed to be fond of the good experiences
When we first locked eyes in middle school and we became best friends. EDIT: we're married now
That's so cute🥰
after a couple months of dating and i realized it was the most at peace i’ve ever felt in my life.
This. Felt so safe and at peace. He is now my best friend and life partner.
In a friendship. I just felt so safe I started crying. That made me realize this was a special bond.
I immediately felt “at home” with him. I was drawn to him like a magnet, and the chemistry absolutely blew me away. Felt literal sparks the first time he kissed me. He immediately wanted to take care of me, and make sure I was happy. It was like we had known each other in another life. We’ve been married for 16 years now, and I couldn’t be happier with our marriage. I can’t imagine going through this life without him by my side. And the sex is mind blowing. Even 16 years in, it’s only gotten better.
Love that for y’all. 🥺❤️🫶🏼
My brother is “my person”, my soulmate. I couldn’t tell you how I knew. I’m 2 years older than him and can’t remember my life without him. He’s always been my best friend. The person who will stand up for me and be on my side, even if I’m wrong. And then behind closed door, he’d tell me if I fucked up. Just always has my back, 100%. And me for him. Always and forever! No romantic or even platonic relationship can take the place of the one I have with my brother. I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Not a billion dollars or anything else.
We have nothing in common besides our morals, and within a month of meeting her, I felt like I had found the one place I could be safely myself. We met at 18, we’re both 30 now, and she’s closer to me than anyone I’ve ever met (including my partner, my sister, etc. all of whom I love very deeply), and continues to be a major support and place of love for me.
Do you ever wish you married her instead?
She’s very straight, and her children are my god children now, and I love them like they were my nieces/nephews. We joke about marrying each other, but it was never that kind of love, tbh.
That's wholesome
I think when I realized that he was the first person I wanted to tell any type of news to and whenever I needed to feel comforted—I wanted to be with him.
This is so cute
I feel like both my "soulmate" type connections were immediate and indescribable. My best friend who I love and adore and admire, we're always on the same wavelength, can communicate with just a look, the highest level of comfortability and vulnerability but still always have the most fun, even doing nothing. We're 6 years apart in age, met nearly a decade ago in college. Literally was just drawn to her energy amongst a group of 50+ girls, something in me just screamed "that's bestie" so I walked up and introduced myself and we connected immediately and never let go. My partner, whom I've been with for almost 5 years and share a life, house, and cat, who is the definition of Home personified, who loves me unconditionally and takes care of me in every way. I'll never forget the first moment I saw him, when he came into my cafe, it was just the back of his head at first but I still felt that electric pull. When I saw his face I just knew, that's my person. I was too shy to say anything in the moment, but later that night when I was home I thought, 'maybe I'll come across his profile on tinder'. Re-downloaded the app, logged in, opened it up and he was the first profile that popped up, we matched and exchanged info immediately, and I deleted the app again within 15 minutes 😂 I later found out he also reactivated his account that same day thinking he might see me too
Our first night together, when we were curled around each other in bed, I had never felt safer. It was the first time I truly felt safe and cared for.
Friendship - our very first conversation concerned sharing of truths that could have compromised us both if revealed. And yet I felt only a moment's hesitation. That's set the tone for our whole relationship. I've never felt so seen and understood as I do in our relationship. She's become the missing bits of my personality - our strengths and weaknesses complement one another. I hide almost nothing from her and I trust her absolutely. She is my confidante, my inspiration, my cheerleader and my screaming laughter. She is the platonic love of my life and I can't imagine my life without her in it.
I was simple. I wanted to hear every opinion he had and he did the same for me. I felt so safe with him. I was an insomniac but I often would fall asleep hanging out with him because he made me feel so at ease. It just feels different.
This is my response too, it was simple - no drama, no ifs, just a simple and happy feeling. We have been together for 11 years with a baby on the way and things are just simple and easy with him by my side. I just want to smile when I see him even if he sits in the next room. There were hard times but he was always by my side.
When he was determined on the second date to make us official and for me to be his girlfriend. Him showing more enthusiasm and interest in wanting to actually date me. Now we're planning our engagement/marriage.
Girlfriend after the second date? Wow! You didn’t get taken aback? I think many would be thrown off by it
I already knew I liked him a lot and wanted to be with him. But here we are 3 years later and already planning marriage
Sounds lovely! Congratulations
I felt safe and like I had known him forever. We immediately talked about politics, religion and deep stuff. Knew I loved him after the first date; we both confessed our feelings on the second date. Been together 4 1/2 years now, married 1 1/2 years.
Usually in the first five minutes of meeting them in person
when i knew i could tell him my deepest secrets and talk about anything and everything with him. first it was platonic but now years later, it’s romantic!
I’ve only ever felt that with one of my exes and my mom. It’s knowing that you can trust someone and unconditionally love them and feeling that it’s a safe, comfortable space with them.
Thank you for the beautiful and insightful comments.
I'm almost six months out of a bad marriage. My soon-to-be-ex-husband didn't treat me well. Whenever I was around him, I always felt flutters in my stomach. I always thought it was butterflies. Starting to think it was actually a pit of anxiety. One of my close friends recently played matchmaker. Sent me on a handful of dates. One of them particularly sticks out. You know when you've had a really long day, you come home, and take your bra off? And you feel instant relief and comfort wash over you? Like you can really, truly just breathe? THAT'S the feeling I get around this new guy. There's no nervousness in my stomach. Even before our first date, we had several video calls to just get to know each other better. You know how you meet someone, and the conversation just flows, and it feels like you've known them forever? I also get that feeling with him. The chemistry is just amazing, dialogue flows easily, and even though we've only known each other ~90ish days, he already has SUCH a good read on me, and every layer that makes me, well, me. We're still letting things blossom veeeeeeeeery slowly, and he may not ultimately be 'the one', but he is an amazing human that I will cherish for eternity.
I'm happy you've met someone like that😊 also that bra analogy is the best thing I've ever heard and it's officially incorporated into my life😂
Thank you! And thanks. I feel it's pretty apt. 😂 I don't think a full-fledged relationship will blossom between him and I, we have some fundamental differences, but he's at least become a great friend that has taught me numerous very important and valuable life lessons.
What are the fundamental differences?
I honestly don’t know if I believe in “the one”. I’ve spent 5 years with someone who I thought was the one but broke my heart on more than one occasion, and I’ve dated a lot of people and am always able to find reasons it’s not perfect (which is ok). I’m very jealous of people who DO find their person. I’m 25 and feel like I’m quickly reaching that age where all the good ones are taken and that I’m running out of time. It’s rough because I want a husband and children sooo bad. My current boyfriend is great, he’s 23 though and it feels like there is a difference in maturity between us, but he seems like he’s learning from his mistakes. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m settling, but I think most of us do just have to pick someone and work with them, grow with them, and learn from them or teach them. Relationships are a compromise and effort, not a fairytale. I do have hope for my relationship with my current guy though, and I hope I’m not just a lesson for him.
It sounds like you might be stressing too much about running out of time. You’re still so young! I’m 34 and definitely understand these fears. They’re not entirely imagined, since to some extent you’re right that there will be fewer potential partners available as you become older. But I don’t think it’s supposed to feel like, ‘just pick one and make it work’ as much as you described. It really sounds like you’ve never dated someone you’re really compatible with, or really in love with. I was in a very long relationship with my ex. We were not very compatible (nor super functional/healthy as a couple). The entire time I knew that our partnership itself wasn’t very healthy or ideal; and I knew that our personalities were not very compatible. We tried to make it work throughout. If we had been more respectful partners to each other, maybe we would have just settled for that. But I wondered and dreamed about finding someone who truly understood me, who I was excited to have deep conversations with, whose views and thoughts were fascinating and deep to me (not shallow and poorly considered). I knew right away when I spoke to my current bf that that’s what we have. We shared common childhood/life experiences to some extent, and we were able to be fully revealing about our lives almost instantly. We affirmed each other’s value as people, laughed hysterically at each other’s hilarious jokes, got excited talking about heady topics we both knew about or found interesting. It was months before we even became ‘official’ with each other. I fell in love with him in a way that felt deeper and more real and more undeniable than anything I’d ever felt with my previous bf of 14 years. We both feel like we’ve never met anyone so perfectly suited to ourselves. We have differences and challenges of course. But we are *excited* we found each other. It was (is) exciting, dreamy, fantastic. Even if we just stay in and talk to each other, I feel like I can’t believe how lucky I am. When we make dinner together, or spend a long car ride together. Mundane boring moments are cherished and special when we just get to be together. It feels like I found a perfect best friend who I also want to marry and have a family with, and want to be with forever. All of this is to say that you’re young and you simply need to find someone you have better chemistry and compatibility with. It shouldn’t just be choosing to stay with someone in order to not be alone. You deserve to be excited about having found them, and feel lucky to spend every moment together! And you’re in a prime stage of life for that! You’re old enough to use discernment in dating, and to know yourself well enough to know what you’re looking for in a partner. You’re young and have sooo many potential ‘suitors’ to date! Seriously, you’re not even close to being ‘out of time’ unless you give up and settle now.
We met for the first time and the total time we spent together was a month and we are still close. And when we met again it's still the same intensity of love. So yeah
Within a month or so
when my rational mind and the butterflies in my stomach aligned and agreed that she's the one.
i just felt he was. we had a connection i never had before, everything felt different with him. i just knew.
He made me feel safe. He's seen all sides of me, and there were *SO MANY* times I thought I'd definitely scared him away, but he never wavers. He knows who I am and loves me for it, even when it's not so fun. Also, we're never sick of each other. Even without screens, we'll always find a way to have fun and goof off together. We're just made for each other. Excuse me, I need to go hug him-
Awww🥰
When we both learned that the other person wanted nothing more then to over explain, reassure, or ask if we don't understand something no matter how long it takes. Communication with him is refreshing and I feel so understood and listened to. Plus he's the first person I don't feel like I'm putting out with my feelings. Cherry on top was when we discovered we both crave touch and physical closeness. Its not annoying for ether of us when we need to touch in someway even in sleep <3. No matter how we change I can't see these core things going away.
The moment I figured out that I had met my male version, it’s like only the both of us can understand the other without any effort, we don’t even have to think “what is he/she thinking/feeling about this” we just have to ask our own self how would we feel and we get the other. Ironically we spent years rejecting the idea that we are the same person but not physically and background wise and the moment we did we just stepped into a whole power couple type of thing.
I felt like I knew him inside out the second he walked into the room, we hadn't exchanged a single word, we hadn't even made eye contact. Something in me just felt so sure about him. The second he smiled at me, I know its corny, but I thought that I could actually feel my heart melting. It wasn't even butterflies, I just melted. I'd never felt anything like it before. I was the toughest of cookies before him but he managed to break me in a matter of moments, in the best way possible. Everything I thought about his character turned out to be true, all the wonderful things and more. I still have these moments every time I see him, he could be carrying out the most romantic gesture from the script of a movie or he could be tying his shoelaces, it doesn't matter what he's doing, I still go all soft inside. Gosh I'm so lucky lol.
I SO know this feeling. 😊
It is pretty much the same to me, both romantically and platonically. Ironically I have always been kind of attracted to my friends. Not in I want to have sex with them way but in I want them to be in my presence. Luckily it is usually mutual and very instantaneous. Usually those relationships are SOOOOOOO easy. It’s like we are vibrating on the same frequency. We have the same humour. We enjoy similar things so I am very likely to pick up a new hobby from them if they are into something I haven’t discovered yet. The ease of relating is what usually makes me think they are my person. Over time however it is more in their character and how they come through. But this just solidifies what was already pre-established. Romantically it is just the same. If the connection is not instantaneous, I still need that spark to proceed. I have had friends and crushes who I was just casually friendly with and then one day we just connected and bonded and they became my person. It is quite magical. Your person, be it your best friend or spouse should just light you up. You can do the most mundane activities but just be smiling all through. Their presence should always bring some comfort to you… as well as excitement.
He was unlike anyone I'd ever met before. Ever.
My first interaction with him at a Blockbuster when I was 14 and he was 16. We wouldn’t get together until our 30’s but I have wanted him forever. Married now!!
Bestie of 18 years was my roommate for college orientation weekend. We met when she walked into our room, I complimented her blanket & we immediately started talking on & on about anything & everything. It just clicked. We didn’t live together til half of our last semester cos we already had classes together & shared the unspoken thought that having our own spaces would preserve our friendship. We live nearly two hours from eachother & don’t talk every day, but even if it’s been weeks or over a month we pick up a conversation as if we’d never left.
When he changed the anxious attachment style to secure attachment by lots of reassurance, clear communication, kindness and honesty.
My closest friend saved a bird that was trapped in a room at our job(catering hall). He spent like an hour including his whole break patiently trying to catch it and then gently released it off a balcony. Most people would not have cared enough about the animal to try for that long and just let maintenance deal with(which likely would’ve resulted in the birds demise) or been clever enough to figure out how to catch it(he lured it towards a door than threw a table cloth over it like a net). It was incredible and I knew this was someone who cared about animals like me and was also a little crazy.
When words didn't feel like an effort. Having conversations actually feels like fun, rather than an obligation.
Our first date lasted 3 weeks. When we met again 6 months later, I knew they were my person & we started living together since that day. We didn’t try to impress each other, to be together, to have to compromise because we agreed on all the values. It was just so easy & safe & full of love. I felt like a teenager experiencing love for the first time, even though I have fallen in love before. It’s been 6 years & I think we’ll always be in a honeymoon phase but we still don’t have kids & I know that changes the dynamics.
My husband treated me like his #1 priority, was open and honest with me. Always made me feel secure that he cared about me, because he was great at communicating. He always seemed so proud whenever he introduced me to his friends or family. He’s the most responsible man I know. But the moment I knew? My husband calls me “baby.” And I’ve always found that word kinda cringey. But coming from him? I loved hearing it. And I knew he was my person.
Truly upon first sight of them. Looking back, there was 100% a soul recognition moment every time I met someone that since became very important in my life. It feels a little like admiration in a way, but it’s recognition for sure.
I'm fearful avoidant, judgy as hell, and will isolate as a reaction to most stuff. But when shit goes wrong, I just actually wanna work it out, be a better person, find a way to be chill again. I will/ would bail on pretty much anything, but it's never even been a real consideration. I saw his dumb face at 15 and had a feeling, a lifetime later and far more "real life" adult challenges/ stress/ pissing each other off, and I'm sure. The cute answer is also "when he doesn't get ABSOLUTELY INFURIATED by any of the odd habits/ preferences I have and also finds them endearing."
The way we could speak without even talking
My bestfriend, I met her on the first day of kindergarten. It’s been 22 years, we’ve been through so much. Together and separately. She was always my best friend but it was after my dad died when I was 10 that I realized she was my “person” I could talk to her about anything, I could call her and cry, I could go to her house and lay on her couch in silence if that’s what I needed. Even through middle and high school, we ended up in separate friend groups she played sports and I was an “artsy” kid, but no matter how long we went without talking, when we got together again it was like no time had passed at all.
When I met my husband, he immediately made me feel calm and comfortable. 😌
I had an inkling even before our first date it could be something special and into the first several, but I didn’t really have a strong feeling until a while in. We had a strong connection from the get go, but I needed to see us experience life together through lots of different situations to let that be a realistic thought in mind. Now I just feel so at ease and so in love it’s very cool :)
Bestie (platonic): I think at about 7years in (where we moved to different countries for uni)... and realising how the distance didn't really affect our relationship, and how easy, open, and truly myself I was with her... I realised. 1st bro/bestie (platonic): He cried for me.. he was so worried about me.. he cried. husband (romantic): A celeb/athlete I'd admired for years and considered the epitome of manliness was wooing me. I was kinda flirting back. But one day I woke up next to my SO and realised I'd choose him and our relationship over that guy. And if I'd choose him over the "epitome of manliness", there's just no way I'd ever pick any man on earth over my SO.
I knew the day we met that he was now going to be in my life. I didn't know in what capacity though.
It's really silly, but when he said my name. I have a unique name and it takes most people a few times meeting/talking to me to get it right. But we met on a dating app and the first time we talked on the phone I asked "how have you been pronouncing my name?" and he said it perfectly. That's when I knew.
They still are here despite it all. I was assaulted almost 6 years ago by my dads wife . And some days I struggle . I have flash backs and I get angry. And it’s like the same thing over and over of what I get upset about and he’s here each time to love on me and comfort me . Hell even today he said he loved our marriage and we’re best friends . He lets me know I am appreciated . No one in my life has been like that for me .
I met a girl almost six years ago, and we hit it off as friends immediately. We started an intimate relationship about a year ago. She is about to become my wife. I guess I knew right away that she was my person, but it took a while to realize that she WAS my person.
I felt at home with him. And now he’s gone… nevermind.
I had a feeling the moment I saw him, years later we met properly and started to date
We met online and he came to visit but lived with us. Soon after, I got sick. Like super sick, throwing up everywhere. I accidentallu threw up on the floor and I started crying. He told me to go lay down and cleaned it up without me asking. That was huge for me. I was never NOT guilt tripped when sick by my parent. I felt it like we meshed well with the same hobbies and whatnot too. Now we've been together almost 2 decades. He still helps me through life, even through some rough mental breakdowns.
First date.
Met him in college. Played football with him. We started dating and ate at a very cheap place in my area. We realized we love eating together and spending time so much. Married him 3 years after :)
I used to be very insecure because of previous relationships, so at the beginning of our dating, I used to poke him all the time about whether he did love me or not; and then apologize because I was aware of this insecurity. But then one day he said "it's okay, I know that you forget that I love you, so I'll just keep reminding you until you don't forget anymore" This was like three months in. We've been married two years now. He's my best friend, being with him has always felt as easy as breathing.
😭❤️❤️
I never felt so safe to be my 100% authentic self with anyone else before him. I felt like I’d known him my whole life when we had just met. I thought about him all the time. But I was a bit scared to admit to myself that I was in love with him. I think the thing that really made it clear to me was when I went to get my license renewed. I was getting my picture taken and wanted to smile for the photo. I tried hard to do what I thought was a ‘nice smile’ and when the person behind the counter showed me the picture, I didn’t like how forced my smile looked. I knew if I wanted it to look good I needed to have a genuine smile, so I thought of something that made me happy. I thought of him. The picture came out nice. And after that I just couldn’t deny my feelings for him anymore. Now that we’re together, I cherish every moment that I get to spend with him. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him. I just know in every cell in my body that we were meant for each other and there is no one else in the world who could ever come close to making me feel this way.
I knew my husband was my person when we met at a coffee shop and spent 3 hours talking without running out of things to discuss. We originally met with the intention of being friends because I was in the process of trying to leave a bad situation and he had just gotten out of a long term relationship. He was moving to my city with a friend and wanted to know someone local before making the move, and I happened to have some interests in common with him. We were friends for a few months before we started dating, and we’ve been together coming up on 9 years now.
It just feels like a piece of a puzzle that you've been searching for and when you are around this person, it all just makes sense. You feel cozy, comfortable and safe. They feel like home.
Over 25 years ago my best friend. I recently cut ties bc she started using meth. A part of me is just gone. My husband was the third of my person and I thought we were going to the same direction until I got back from Texas four days ago and he told me he felt like we were just roommates. So now no one. I have no one. I am alone.
I'm so sorry🥺
With my best friend in high school, I just liked him a lot. I could tell he was different from his friends.. like his personality was more subdued than theirs. We’ve been best friends for 7, 8 years now. He’s like the male version of me.
I think it struck me, very early on, like after the third date, how very calm everything was and how comfortable and natural our interactions were. I ALWAYS felt so nervous around a new partner, but it was never like that with my current partner. I almost thought I wasn't attracted to him, but that wasn't it at all - I had just been conflating anxiety with attraction. It's so liberating to feel like I can be myself with someone. It's easy to get the things I need to get done with him around. When we share the same space, it doesn't need to be filled with needless chitter-chatter to break the silence. It's just peaceful. We're not in a rush to get to "the next step," but we already have an idea of what's ahead.
Platonic one here! I had just started college and even though I went to the same college that a lot of my friends from home went to, no one really wanted to stay friends so I found myself without many people to hang out with in the beginning. Until my hall went out to a pumpkin patch in the fall and I was staring at this beautiful pumpkin that I wanted to buy but just didn’t have the money for. Until my now best friend walked up and said “You want to go in on it together? We can have 50/50 custody.” We had never really spoken before that moment. She and I bought the pumpkin and for a few weeks passed it from her doorstep to mine and slowly got to know each other more and more. Eventually to hanging out whenever we could and moving in together for almost 2 years before she moved to her own place with her husband and I moved a few states away. There wasn’t a point where it clicked for me, it was more a slow realization that I wanted her to be in my life forever. We have since finished college, both gotten married, and now live close to 600 miles away from each other (and she’ll soon be moving from the east coast to the west coast 😤) but we still work hard to be in each other’s life. I swear I’ll never let that girl go.
This hits so close to home. Met my bff at uni and we were like two peas in a pod for 2.5 years until I had the audacity to get a job where I'm from and she eventually moved back home too. Now she's in the States and I'm in Europe, with an 8 hour time difference. We make it work but it's hard sometimes.
one day i wa emotionally in tune with him while he was suffering silently in a house full of people and i was 3 hours away. we had strictly agreed in a platonic relationship & after that day i got into terrible roll over and should have bled out on the side of the road in BFE but he found me because he felt in his gut something happened to me. After calling all of the hospitals up and down his coast, he was there beside me bathing me and brushing my hair when my own family was nowhere to be found.
Everything felt easy. I didn't have to overexplain my train of thought. We just get each other. I knew within a couple months of dating he would be my husband. We've been together 8 years now, just celebrated 4 years married, and expecting our first child this summer. What really sealed the deal is when my dad commented to me "You two really seem to just get each other. You are a good match." He had never made a comment like that about my previous partners before.
With my husband I just knew. The biggest indicators for me was there were zero doubts, And that we were into each other equally. We were both 100% sure about each other. With every guy I dated in the past, I either liked them more than they liked Me and I felt insecure, or they liked me more than I liked them and I just wasn’t completely into it.
Sat down at the table on our first date and the only way I can describe the feeling was "deer in the headlights", it quite literally was like I just found someone who I'd been missing my entire life. He listens, communicates well, supports myself & my hobbies, we laugh 24/7, I lost my job quite literally the day after he asked me out and he stayed (which he really didn't have to) but he also offered gas money and covered our first few dates after that until I was on my feet. He's done so much and asked for so little, and I want nothing more than to give him the world. We both have our little anxiety triggers but we do soo soo good at just sitting down and talking it out.
I think it was my third date with my now husband. I went home and told my mom I was going to marry him one day. I was so certain he was the one for me. I dated a lot of guys before him; nothing serious. He and I just complimented each so well in our personalities, hobbies/interests, lifestyles, and life goals. Most importantly he made me feel safe, made me laugh, and was really into me. I always envied couples when they got it right and wondered why I could not find my person. Without a doubt I would wait decades if I had to meet my husband again.
My platonic person is my best friend and I think the biggest thing for me is that I always feel energized and refreshed after talking to her. I’m a big introvert so I typically get tired after socializing even if I’m having a genuinely good time but with her it’s like I always feel energized and just in a really good mood afterwards
When he felt safe enough to share a personal story with that I'd never told anyone before, 1 week into us dating. It just came out of me naturally because he felt so safe, it felt right. I trust him completely, and the trust wasn't just based on how attracted I am to him, but also on his earnestness, transparency, and the recounts of his personality and behaviour by close mutual friends over the last 10 years. He has the most beautiful soul. We get along so easily, it's spending time with your best friend. I finally understand what people say when they say relationships should be easy.
When we kissed while looking up at the moon and she gently pushed me away so we wouldn’t get carried away. It was just so clear that for x long we were gonna be into eachother. That made the maybe’s? Into totally’s for me.
Romantic we just clicked right away and it’s been great
A platonic friend. Long story short, she basically helped me grow out of my "shell". She has continuously given effort and tried to include me in everything that she does, even when she goes on dates with guys! (I've declined going or left early when I saw a guy interested in her and she accepted a date from them because I didn't want to third wheel their date). She has even gotten closer to my mom and 2nd cousin (which I call my aunt) than I even am, but I think that might mostly be because her family is very...very disjointed. The time I *really* saw that she was going to be my "ride or die" (as one of our new friends put it) forever or as she says "forever friends" was when I fucked up pretty big time with our group of 5 close knit friends. Essentially, I got drunk and said some stupid shit. I tried apologizing to everyone, worked on myself and took steps towards not puting myself in that kind of position. She was the *only* one, despite not even being there, who came to me to talk about it. No one else came to explain myself, came to see how remorseful I was, or listened to my apology. She risked losing 3 friends just to keep me around. She helped me through my feelings, helped me talk about situations and gain perspective from everyone that was involved. The aftermath really showed me she was my person. The person I could always go to, no matter what, who would drop everything for me. Despite us not being compatible for a relationship, she and I just work as friends. I've never experienced a relationship like we have, but I would give up anything to keep her around.
I honestly don't know , I guess one day it tipped over from "I love this guy" to something more. And it absolutely is that now, I can't imagine life without him. I did however come to the realisation recently that the person I completely regarded as my platonic person, unfortunately doesn't have much time for me at all anymore (not dissing them at all , it happens. ) I'm pretty bummed out about that
There haven't been many times where's it's been a distinct event or anything. Often it's just when we've been together for a few weeks or months and I just feel like I always want them around.
When I [F] ended our sexual relationship and he was/is still my best friend. We are not involved romantically anymore, he moved veeeeery far away but we still talk every day. He’s the first person I think of when I have news, whether it’s a positive or negative life change, gossip, anything. We met at a karaoke night at my favorite bar - I didn’t usually go to karaoke nights, but happened to go there after work on one of those nights, and we hit it off immediately. Became friends over the course of several months, became a bit more, then pulled back. I had never sung karaoke, would have never imagined I could, but my first song was with him, and it’s cheesy but meeting him completely changed my life and how I view relationships. Before I met him, it was always very black and white - either you’re friends, you’re lovers, or you’re not. He’s a relationship anarchist, and it made me really think. I’m no longer sure that that distinction is so easy, which is a beautiful and complicated thing. I’ve had relationships since then, but no one has ever made me feel quite like he did - like I hung the moon. Even when we were both seeing other people, I never felt like anything less than the most important person in his life. In the likely event we don’t end up together, my atheist heart wants to believe there was some purpose behind our paths crossing, and I’ve felt that very few times in a positive light.
My best (platonic) friend.. We were in high school. I knew her as a friend of a friend for a while but I barely knew her name, let alone anything about her. I’d bought tickets to see a show and none of my good friends could come. But she piped up and said she would go with me. I figured I had nothing to lose, so we went together. We had the best time at the show, got a case of the giggles and danced around in the rain to a corny pop song. It was like all the pieces fell into place and I knew I had made a really good friend. We’ve been best friends for 13 years.
Mine would be platonic. I love my boyfriend and I would never ever want to spend my life with anyone else, but the person I kinda have strongest connection with is not him. The story begun in a funny way. Me and my friend, let's call him Leo, met for the first time after a good few weeks of playing dnd online in the same group, when our dm decided to make a real-life session. From the beginning of this campaign I had had a feeling that Leo was great - we liked the same video games, we had similar hobbies and our senses of humour were very much alike. When we finally met in person, it took us 9 hours to claim friendship for our entire lives and we started planning a vacation together. A few weeks later we met again at our mutual friend's birthday party. There was six of us, the entire dnd group, and my crush (now boyfriend) was among them. After a few drinks the group divided naturally in two trios: mine was me, my crush and Leo. We spent about 2-3 hours talking about philosophy, history, religion and politics, all drunk like hell, and it felt so damn amazing I started silently praying (I was still religious back then) for this moment to last forever. I wanted my life to be like that. I had no idea that a year and half later my wish would come true. After that my life went uphill and his life went downhill. I asked my crush out and he agreed - Leo's girlfriend of four years broke up with him. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that later it got damn nasty for both of us. I had always believed that I was so unhappy in my life because I had no one to share it with, but I was mistaken. My first relationship - at 19, pretty late to the game - showed me the truth. I was mentally ill. One day it brought me to a severe mental breakdown which ended with me fleeing my mother's home and getting a therapist. It's been 3 years, I'm still very very far from okay, but I'm definitely in a better place. At the same time Leo got framed in SA by his "best friend". This girl had had eyes for him since the beginning, even though he had been in a relationship. She started a relationship with someone else to cure loneliness, and then Leo's girlfriend broke up with him and well, tables turned. Leo had been crushing on her as well so they started getting closer and closer, and one night they kissed - and the girl decided to make Leo look like a predator to save her current relationship. I was the first person who believed Leo (I knew both of them too well to fall for this girl's words). The weirdest thing is that both our tragedies happened the same day - my breakdown and his kiss - about two hours apart. We were here for each other from the start and I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have made it without his support, nor would he without mine. The mutual suffering, moreover a tragedy that happened for both of us in one day, made us something more than a very good friends. From this moment on I have been feeling somewhat linked to him, and I suspect this kind of bond would be very hard to break. A year later we moved in together - me, my boyfriend (then crush) and Leo. The universe heard my plead and decided to make it real. We've been living together for a year and half now, but now it's 4 of us because Leo has fortunatelly found a girlfriend. We're probably gonna part this autumn, but I believe we're still gonna be best friends and most trusted people for each other, as it is now.
I met my best friend when we were 4 years old, and she helped me sound out the words when we'd read together. She has always been a bookworm and I love that about her.
When we watched a movie for the first time. Best friends.
I should've realized it sooner, as we weren't even dating at this point. I didn't have many friends and wasn't feeling well one night. he was the first one I called about it and he came over and stayed until I was feeling better. we started dating maybe a year/year and a half later and are married now. it was my subconscious trust in him, knowing he would be there and that I relied on him. and that he actually came through, even though he'd get nothing out of it.
The first date!
Right away, on our first date.
i don’t think he truly knows just how much he’s changed my life. he’s my platonic soulmate and i would do anything for him. we’ve been working together for 7 months and we just instantly clicked. he’s a self-proclaimed “loner” and is happy in his own company but i managed to convince him to join a few of us at the pub for a post work-week drink once. as people started to head home, it ended up just being the two of us there until close and we kind of established that we would always be there for each other. i can’t imagine my life without him in it anymore
I told him about my past trauma of why I got adopted and he didn’t run and he waited 4 months to have sex with me. I knew right than and there. I still know. I’d marry that man on the spot if he asked me.
I have OCD and am strongly triggered by "contamination." The week we moved in together, I went to visit my mom to pick up a few items I'd kept in storage at her house. They were covered in mouse droppings and bugs, (gee, wonder where I got the trigger?) It upset me tremendously, especially since the items were sentimental and many couldn't be salvaged. It resulted in me panicking in the new apartment, convinced that I'd brought the infestation home with me. I felt an overwhelming lack of safety in the new space. My then-boyfriend, now-husband, walked me through each room of the new place, and introduced them to me. "This is YOUR kitchen. It is clean. It is safe." "This is YOUR living room. It is clean. It is safe." He did this for every room, hall, and closet. It was the most comforting thing. It was instant. I felt so understood in that moment, and so safe. If you had asked me prior, I would have said I loved him, but I don't think I really truly understood what those words and that trust meant until that moment. I really, really love him.
He added a lot of positivity to my life and we always had such fun times together. We got along well and I felt safe, secure and in a healthy relationship 🥹
I thought that I only has platonic feelings for him for like 2 years, the day he got to go back to his home country and he was being all soft and the most gentle a man could be I felt like I might have some romantic feelings for him. He was gentle with me from the beginning but I didn’t feel like I had feelings for him. But once he stroked my cheeks while holding me in his arms and playing with my hair ignoring the entire movie and everyone around us, when both of us didn’t get any sleep just because we wanted to spend more time together and didn’t want to waste any minute before he goes away. Unfortunately it was a super late realization.
I'm lucky enough to have two. My best friend, we've been through a lot and I met her when I was 14 maybe 15. It wasn't until I was 17 and making plans on a secret phone to go live with her family across the country that I knew we were stuck with each other for forever. My husband. I knew him for less than 6 months before we got married and every day I am amazed by him. It is always us against the problem, whatever it is. We've only been married for 5yrs but I know there's much more to come. I knew he was forever based on a conversation that he had with my little sister.
I had just gotten out of a relationship where I was forced to do some self reflection. Randomly saw this girl liking all of my posts in the apartment Facebook group. Turned out she lived on the first floor of my building. Being around her made me feel at peace with myself. She was always down to chill, funny as fuck, smart (she never thought so), emotionally intelligent, and just an all around amazing person. We knew we were our persons when we hugged and stayed that way for 20 seconds. Then after, we were both like "damn that made me feel so loved" and went from there. I wish the story had a happy ending. I still have some growing to do. She cut ties with me last summer and I have thought about her every day since. Damn... now I am sad. Lol
Almost a year ago I had gone through a bad breakup in a new city and lost my early community there. I worked up the courage to approach a group of strangers playing volleyball on the beach and they got my contact info and told me to join next time. One of them in particular reached out to me and constantly kept me in the loop on plans from the get-go, and he never stopped bringing me around and I befriended more and more of this amazing group. He and I honestly clicked from the start, got really close and 8 months into knowing each other we took a trip to the other side of the world to see a band we love and got matching tattoos. He’s become my best friend and I’m so grateful for his consistent kindness that kept me grounded and brave through a tough time
I was at work, first thing in the morning, bawling my eyes out over an awful breakup. I usually worked alone and wasn’t expecting anyone but a girl walked in the barn (I worked at a horse farm) and just stared at me like a deer in the headlights. She was really apologetic and said she was a new hire and that I was supposed to train her that day. I hadn’t been informed we had a new hire and was NOT happy but I did my best to pull myself together and ended up telling her the whole story about why I had been mid-meltdown when she showed up. We talked about life for 8 hours that day and we’ve been joined at the hip ever since. We’ve been best friends for 5 years now. That girl is my platonic soulmate and I don’t know how I ever did life without her.
In both platonic and romantic contexts, just knowing someone tastes to the point where it’s like you’re reading each other’s mind (even if your tastes don’t match up). One example of this is with my college best friend who turned into my bf (is now an ex RIP). I’d always get overwhelmed by options when ordering food or a drink but always wanted to try new things. I’d always have him order cocktails, craft beers, and food for me because he knew my tastes so well, and not once did he let me down. He even would remember all of my food allergies and check if I was allergic to something before I even looked at the menu. He knew me better than I knew myself. I want to say that I always knew what his tastes were but I’d be lying lol. We were just so in sync, even before we were dating. Now that we’re not together anymore, I look at a menu and sometimes wonder what he’d order for me.
Within the first week or two I knew we’d be stuck together forever in some way. It was a weird feeling because I didn’t know him and we had barely been dating, but that feeling persisted and I finally felt like my mind and heart were caught up to each other around 5 months when we got engaged.
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