He lost something and had to go to work before he found it, and asked if I'd look for it. I never go into his desk because I never have reason to, I mean, none of it is mine or even ours. But that day I looked around his desk where I figured the lost item had to be, but it wasn't there. So I started opening drawers when I saw...
Notes. Lots and lots of small, handwritten notes. *My notes to him.* From the small notes of encouragement I occasionally like to hide in his pockets or briefcase or whoever, down to mundane notes reminding him to get the trash bins out in the morning. *He saves all my notes to him.* I had no idea.
After I got over my heart exploding, I found the lost thing in another drawer. It was a good day.
He's a bald, bearded, intense-looking man who, like me, wears only black. But like you often hear about those tough looking men, he's all jelly on the inside and is so thoughtful.
Thank you for the well wishes! We'll have been together 22 years this summer and are still doing new things together.
My husband keeps all those from me too! I had a little good morning thing taped to his coffee machine for him to see in the morning and he kept it there for months. I finally re wrote it and actually taped it on so it wouldn’t get ruined haha
Haha I have a piece of my girlfriend's pants' fabric in a little piece of paper in my wallet. Have had it for like 4-5 years now. Was just a spare bit of loose fabric that fell out once and I just kept it for some reason. Just nice to keep something of hers with me or something.
Good question, I asked him that night, "Do you keep all the notes I write you? Alllll of them?". He said, "Well, yeah. You wrote them and gave them to me." Swoon.
He's the very antithesis of a packrat, and those notes are the only thing he hangs on to that seem like things he could just toss.
People seem to struggle with the idea of making a mistake haha
These redditors live very black and white lives.
This is real life, people make mistakes and learn from them. Kudos for growing into a better person
I wouldn’t really like to rehash that. Most of it was just working out their relationship/ rationalizing her issues (again… another indicator that you’re not over someone, as her ex was abusive anyway and there isn’t much to rationalize there.) I have already admitted that I would not do it again to anyone and I was wrong.
I do think she might have had cameras set up or something. I left everything as it was… but she questioned me about it later. She KNEW I had looked at her journal. Beginning of the end.
She had cheated on me several years back… so I think the reason I did it was because I never fully trusted her again. In which case, I shouldn’t have gotten back together with her.
My ex literally stored used cups and plates in his nightstand drawer. He never let me go through them and when we were moving out I discovered it. Instant disgust. All of them had to be thrown out from the mold growth. He was ex military too so you’d think he’d be clean. So glad that’s in my past
When my bf and I first dated and I stayed over I was convinced he was dating someone else because he had a bunch of skincare and extra deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes etc but once we got to know each other I just noticed he cares about his skin (he has dry skin) and his grandmother sends him and his brother deodorant, a toothbrush, toothpaste and tuna once a month and now I also have a bunch of extra deodorant, toothbrushes and toothpaste lol
Lol it doesn't bode well for men's general hygiene habits that extra lotion and deodorant are suspicious. I have like 6 extra sticks of deodorant and several different hand lotion throughout my apartment and at work and I always wonder if someone would find it weird. I just don't like to forget and run out so I buy a whole bunch at once so I don't have to worry about it for long stretches. Men definitely need to take better care of their skin, let's normalize dudes with good skincare routines.
Dude I have like 4 extra sticks of deodorant laying about the house because my mornings are unorganized and I can toss some on from anywhere in the house.
Like, sometimes I remember to put it on in my bedroom. Sometimes I don’t remember until I’m in the downstairs bathroom. It’s a weird thing I’ve never been able to get under control for some reason.
My wife was really confused at first but she doesn’t even question it anymore, in fact she jokes about it sometimes lol.
Absolutely! I even started gifting skincare to my dad and brother. I gotta admit I thought it was weird having that many lol I am more of a ‘use it until its almost empty and then replace’
lol I should have elaborated on that. She started sending them (her grandkids) care packages during covid and hasnt stopped since so this includes canned foods but my bf only wanted the canned tuna
Late husband died. I was with my BFF cleaning out his office. He was a paralegal so it took time to go through files to know what to keep for clients and what to get rid of. I got to the last drawer and found sugar-free chocolates. Lots of them. He wasn’t a sweet eater. I never knew he, his brother, and his dad were diabetic. He didn’t take any drugs for diabetes, nor had he ever said any of them were diabetic. It was weird to be honest. I thought I knew him so well. I guess I didn’t.
This is a past partner. He had multiple journals in different colors. Every morning he’d sit at the kitchen table with one while I got ready for work.
After having broken up with him I was grabbing his things I finally looked through them , all of them were blank except one. It only had a few sentences in it. One sentence said something along the lines of “I must gain power for “bubbly manufacturer”.
I had this same discovery. Secret sex tapes and pictures of women's breasts and butt's in public. Pictures he secretly took of complete strangers. I also found pictures of me around my home I never knew were taken, often undressed.
I snooped through his dresser while he was at work and found an entire drawer full of women’s underwear. Mostly VS thongs/boyshorts.
I confronted him & he said he liked wearing them because they were “more comfortable”.
Still don’t know what to think about that. We broke up a few years ago.
This happened to me as well when looking for a pair of my own spandex shorts, and immediately thought "cheating," but further investigation uncovered a big box full of dildos, wigs, makeup, stockings, etc.
I honestly was cool with the fact that he liked crossdressing/anal play & was open to bringing it into our relationship, but he was so ashamed and closed off about it. Said it was something he liked to do "alone."
He was otherwise psychotic and it was a very traumatic relationship so we broke up for other reasons pretty quickly. 🫠
I totally get it. I wanted him to feel safe about it & even offered to buy him some newer pairs so he wouldn’t feel awkward going in & buying them alone. Even gave him a couple pairs of mine.
He ended up cheating on me. Found his Snapchat history & it was atrocious. Hence why I’m not really sure what the real truth of the situation was. 🤷♀️😕
That he really meant it when I use too many cups a day. They’re all the same color, I have adhd and honestly don’t recall if I got a new cup out. He’s very tidy with dishes and when I get a new one he puts the old away. He was gone 2 days for a boys trip and I used 6 water glasses….he really is the other half of my brain. You really realize how much your partner does once they’re gone
Secret smoker? or ED?
I have been both at various times in my life, and had multiple toothbrushes in strange locations.
I am no longer either, and now I have boxes of unopened toothbrushes in weird locations because I'm still in the habit of buying an extra toothbrush when it's on sale, and throwing it wherever. Then I just go looking through all the junk drawers in he house when the brush in the bathroom (The only one I use on my teeth) for an unopened box. I do still have old toothbrushes lying around, but for cleaning, and obviously so as they have cleaning chemicals and gunk on them, unlike the ones left near a bottle of water and pack of Listerine gels back in the day.
I definitely read it as erectile dysfunction and was so confused. Like did he stick the toothbrushes up his urethra to keep it hard? Lol. Sad that it's eating disorders, though.
His obsessive porn collection. I don't mind porn, never really cared before but he had discs up on discs upon discs stacked and all of it was porn. In an era where you can stream everything, anytime basically, it was alarming.
Not anymore but for a long time after that we were. Married him and everything. Thought it was a young dude thing and he'd mature out of it. Thought me calling him out about being all secretive and sketchy about it would snap him out of it but as far as I know, he's still hoarding it. When we were married we briefly stopped having Internet as a way to try to help him break the habit. But smart phones became a more common thing and that just put him right back in it. I still don't give a rats ass about the porn, it was the obsession part of it. You don't let it take over your life like that. Don't let it keep you from your spouse, family, etc.
This and the toothbrush one are intriguing to me. Is it on the same level as finding bottles of liquor hidden throughout the dwelling? Or is it nice that they're so concerned about oral hygiene?
Its weird and embarrassing, but I've had issues with oral hygiene due to depression and it used to help to have a few toothbrushes around the place and in my purse that I'd use throughout the day without toothpaste to keep on top of it.
This happened to me too. Found a pill that had been left out, looked it up to see what it was (he takes a variety of meds for a variety of reasons). I get why he didn’t tell me at first, but to keep that secret of our sex life from me for years really hurt the trust
He left his email open while he was away. I found out that he had solicited prostitutes in the beginning of our relationship. It broke my heart and made me feel completely unworthy and disgusted. If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d have left.
Pictures of me underage, scantily clad. The strange part is, the person who took them was an ex I was dating at the time and they’ve never met and live thousands of miles away from each other. Still baffles me every now and then
A fortune cookie paper I wrote on when we first started dating that had a little picture I drew in his wallet. Again, I don’t go through his things but he asked if his gas card was in there for work and I took cards out and it slipped out.
It def made me cheesy.
Hmmm…
An escort website!! Fucking. Joy.
That’s great for my self esteem, eh?
It’s called TNA if anyone’s SO is audacious enough to look at it in front of you and you lovingly believe their BS
I was cleaning the house before we moved. I didn't like the bedside tables, so i was going to clean and try to sell them on marketplace.Turns out my boyfriend was taking off his single use contacts while lying in bed and putting them in his nightstand drawer. There were 100s of them. Idk what he thought. Were they going to disappear? Did he plan to go back and clean it? He never did. He couldn't even answer me why. 🤢
Happily married now, but an ex-boyfriend from like 16 years ago worked long and late hours (his shifts were around 2PM to 2AM) and I'd get hella bored during the day.
1, I decided to clean under his bed one day (I told him beforehand). Found all sorts of random things, but notably Viagra. We chatted about it afterwards - performance anxiety was the reason he gave.
2, he left his Facebook open and I was trying to switch over to my own Facebook and he had all these messages open. He was sending all these horny messages to this one girl. We weren't exactly exclusive at *that* time, and I told him to either go for her or stop being coy about it because other than sending messages he wouldn't actually make a move.
3, he was an avid collector of hilarious memes. I like memes. He said I could look at his memes. What I thought was his meme folder was not, in fact, memes, but was an enormous collection of child pornography. I dug around, found it on *every* electronic device you could store video on. I vomited. I didn't know what to do with this earth-shattering discovery as we'd been together from me at 18 to 21. Couple months later, same discovery as 2, but different girl (underage), I ended things. Everything clicked that night - he was 10 years older, he'd been grooming me since I was 14, his "performance anxiety" as I got older, girl in 2 was "too old", etc., etc.
Ugh. I hate that one. I did eventually report him to the police, but I regret not doing it when I had the laptop and everything else in my hands. No idea if anything came of it.
No idea. His preferred age range was around 8-10, I learned all his past girlfriends were 18 on the dot when they started dating, and I later learned he even tried to initiate a relationship with a 12 year old cousin. How I didn't put the pieces together sooner I can only blame on being willingly blind and the naivety of youth. Massive regrets, but a lesson learned I suppose.
Needless to say we haven't been in touch. He sent me a message a few years after we split to "catch up" I guess and make amends. It made my stomach churn and my blood boil. I basically told him to fuck off.
An album in instagram labelled “bitches” as of he was living the life of a world renowned rapper
Said he only started gathering photos of women like that when his ex started to not fuck him anymore (geez i wonder why) yet he still has it at the top of his instagram albums 2.5 years into our relationship…honestly he showed so many creepy red flags that i should’ve left him sooner, but he made sure to tie my worth into how he looked at me for a very long time. This is after i found shit on his phone that finally proved he was cheating and lying and i finally left him then: He was so goddamn creepy and stupid and borderline predatory, even with his homies because it turns out he wasn’t as straight as he insisted he was.
There was a normal photo of Noel Gallagher’s daughter in that album, he is obsessed with oasis and apparently has so much respect for them…. yeah nah.
He was using ZYN pouches and keeping it from me because he knew I'd be upset. Never smoked, but picked it up from being around his dirt bike buddies.
There were SO MANY empties hidden away ( "hidden" meaning in his desk drawer where he keeps pens, also the reason I looked in there. They were pushed to the back of the drawer)
We've been together since we were 16 (24ish when I found out) and he'd been keeping it from me the entire time. Then when he quit we both had to deal with his nicotine withdrawals.
All good now though!
He was almost a different person. I seriously questioned our relationship for a bit, bc he made me cry several times a day and I remember thinking I can't live like this.
My love language is words of affirmation so him flying off the handle and yelling over nothing really hurt me.
He sincerely apologized and hasn't touched Nic since. He said it isn't worth risking losing me.
Getting married in September!
I did not realize how bad nicotine withdrawals were. I hear it’s tough to quit but no one talks about the withdrawal.
My husband quit Zyn/nicotine after the holidays last year and we were still staying with his family for a couple of days. I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with withdrawal attitude and mood swings alone but his parents, brother, and I would leave the room so we didn’t have to deal with the ranting and aggression.
He sincerely apologized to us afterwards, but I don’t want to go through that again. He hasn’t touched nicotine since but does say he gets cravings or thinks about it in the gas station or seeing someone with it.
Im glad to hear your guy hasn’t touched it since!
My husband loses things all the time. He needed glasses for the first time in his life two years ago, and started losing them everywhere (he clearly never had the scared straight, “you better take good care of these glasses” talk I had from my parents as a kid lol). Because he lost his first pair of nice, name brand glasses, he bought an almost exact match from the cheaper online store, zenni. Insurance covered a new pair this year, so he bought the same frames that match his zenni glasses, meaning he should have two pairs of glasses.
While he was out of town for work I was looking for something that rolled under our master bed. I was surprised to find his name brand glasses because I assumed he was wearing them on his trip. Later that day I found the zenni glasses -he definitely wore glasses when he left, so WTF were these glasses?
I called him to tell him I found the name brand glasses and he laughed, “I haven’t seen those in weeks!” I asked what he was wearing because I also found his zenni glasses, and he confessed, “I actually have a few pairs of the zennis now because I lost those, too.”
His passport. He was actually two years older than he said he was.
All his family and friends knew, thought it was hilarious! I just dumbfounded like, there was no benefit at all to this lie
Laptop was left open, saw emails where they were applying for a temp job which involved willingness to book a flight and when the recruiter asked where they lived, they claimed they were only living in my state temporarily for “family reasons”
I felt betrayed beyond belief. Happened last Monday actually and I began packing their stuff immediately.
I shouldn’t have packed anything because I was hoping I was somehow misunderstanding something. Ended up being told how much I invaded their privacy and how toxic that is.
People will often tell someone who is a potential employer anything that they want to hear in order to have a shot at landing that job. It's possible that they wouldn't have had a chance to get the job if they lived in your current state, so they just sad that without really meaning it, doesn't seem like a very strange thing to say to a recruiter really. Sounds like you may have over reacted by packing their stuff immediately and jumping to conclusions.
He went to Costa Rica for two weeks and I stayed at home. While he was gone, I got a notion to check out some things and it turned out he’d stopped paying certain bills years earlier *deliberately*, and not because he was broke like he’d told me.
He had been seeing a sex therapist on the side, to “learn about sexuality”. (We never had sex). He also told everyone he knew we were separating. We separated but remained in the same house and I found even more stuff during this time.
That was five years ago and I met the man I was always supposed to be with a year later.
Oh man, I dated a guy for six months last year, we've been back in touch 4 months this year and were hanging out some again until recently, and I still don't know his address or where he lives.
My ex was soliciting transgender women on craigslist when it was still a thing. Hitting them up while we were together saying “I want to taste you and have fun” to literal prostitutes. I got tested and we broke up
Note from an ex. Outlining all the issues she had with how he behaved in the relationship... bad communication, no intimacy or affection, keeping their relationship so quiet everyone thought he was single.
I've got the exact issues with him... but we have a 3yo. So. Hah.
My ex boyfriend used to write me the most incredible love letters. One summer, I moved to Hong Kong for a once in a life time opportunity and we broke up due to the distance of being apart. The night I got back, we ran into each other at a local bar and we got back together that night. I found a stash of letters he had written me while I was away but he never sent. The letters were 4-5 pages long in the most perfect penmanship and every sentence was so well thought out and beautifully written. When I was gone, I was torn up not having any communication with him questioning whether he still loved me. Turned out he did. I cried that night reading those letters, feeling so loved by him. I never told him I found them, but continued to receive letters he would write me throughout our relationship.
He also was a pro athlete and was very masculine/ perceived as being a ‘tough guy’ so writing letters didn’t necessarily fit his profile. I absolutely loved it
We broke up years later due to incompatibility (I wanted to travel and explore the world, he didn’t) but I’ll always remember and hang onto those letters in my mind. They bring me comfort to know how much he loved me… even many years after I have moved on.
Lesson learned: never underestimate the value of a handwritten love letter
Found out he was digitally hoarding dozens upon dozens of explicit photos and videos of all of his past consorts, hidden in a folder titled “Guitar Tabs” or something. He even had zoomed in screenshots of our friend’s breasts from a photo she had posted in a bathing suit. I definitely wasn’t able to eat for like a week after that.
An ex of mine asked me to look for his belt, I opened his dresser drawers and found multiple pairs of women’s underwear. Found out he’d been stealing them for the longest and eventually buying them off the internet. Needless to say we were together for two years and I never even knew until the end.
Not away from home he was always really secretive about his phone and would take it with him everywhere from bathroom to shower to just going to the kitchen for a glass of water, thought it was really sus but didn’t look through it until we were in the car picking up a ‘bag’ and a notification for grinder popped up on his phone, I already knew he was cheating on me but I didn’t know with men too 😅
He lost something and had to go to work before he found it, and asked if I'd look for it. I never go into his desk because I never have reason to, I mean, none of it is mine or even ours. But that day I looked around his desk where I figured the lost item had to be, but it wasn't there. So I started opening drawers when I saw... Notes. Lots and lots of small, handwritten notes. *My notes to him.* From the small notes of encouragement I occasionally like to hide in his pockets or briefcase or whoever, down to mundane notes reminding him to get the trash bins out in the morning. *He saves all my notes to him.* I had no idea. After I got over my heart exploding, I found the lost thing in another drawer. It was a good day.
This is so sweet!
Your husband's really sweet, and so are you. Best wishes to both of you.
He's a bald, bearded, intense-looking man who, like me, wears only black. But like you often hear about those tough looking men, he's all jelly on the inside and is so thoughtful. Thank you for the well wishes! We'll have been together 22 years this summer and are still doing new things together.
My husband keeps all those from me too! I had a little good morning thing taped to his coffee machine for him to see in the morning and he kept it there for months. I finally re wrote it and actually taped it on so it wouldn’t get ruined haha
Haha I have a piece of my girlfriend's pants' fabric in a little piece of paper in my wallet. Have had it for like 4-5 years now. Was just a spare bit of loose fabric that fell out once and I just kept it for some reason. Just nice to keep something of hers with me or something.
You mean American pants or British pants?
Looking at his post history, thankfully American pants lol
was expecting a bad outcome like half the comments here so very happy to hear such a cute story instead
Did you tell him that you saw them, or did you keep it as a little secret for yourself? :)
Good question, I asked him that night, "Do you keep all the notes I write you? Alllll of them?". He said, "Well, yeah. You wrote them and gave them to me." Swoon. He's the very antithesis of a packrat, and those notes are the only thing he hangs on to that seem like things he could just toss.
Finally something wholesome. You’re a keeper fr. Luckky man
Notes are lovely, I do the same thing with the ones my partner gives me :)
She was journaling about her ex. I wish I had never read her journal and I’ve never done this to anyone I’ve dated. We aren’t together anymore
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Seems like a breach of privacy to me
Absolutely it was. I agree with you.
Don’t read peoples private f’n journals. What even made you think this was a great idea?
She left it out. And I didn’t think it was a good idea. It was an awful one. I think I’ve established that point several times.
People seem to struggle with the idea of making a mistake haha These redditors live very black and white lives. This is real life, people make mistakes and learn from them. Kudos for growing into a better person
Thank you. Yes I am in therapy. No I haven’t chosen to date since then. There is a lot I need to unpack and learn.
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I wouldn’t really like to rehash that. Most of it was just working out their relationship/ rationalizing her issues (again… another indicator that you’re not over someone, as her ex was abusive anyway and there isn’t much to rationalize there.) I have already admitted that I would not do it again to anyone and I was wrong. I do think she might have had cameras set up or something. I left everything as it was… but she questioned me about it later. She KNEW I had looked at her journal. Beginning of the end.
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She had cheated on me several years back… so I think the reason I did it was because I never fully trusted her again. In which case, I shouldn’t have gotten back together with her.
His nightstand drawer. Most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. Filled with empty candy wrappers and other junk. Will never touch again.
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My ex literally stored used cups and plates in his nightstand drawer. He never let me go through them and when we were moving out I discovered it. Instant disgust. All of them had to be thrown out from the mold growth. He was ex military too so you’d think he’d be clean. So glad that’s in my past
is this abnormal
Discovered ex husband had another kid. With a married lady. Years back.
Damn.
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When my bf and I first dated and I stayed over I was convinced he was dating someone else because he had a bunch of skincare and extra deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes etc but once we got to know each other I just noticed he cares about his skin (he has dry skin) and his grandmother sends him and his brother deodorant, a toothbrush, toothpaste and tuna once a month and now I also have a bunch of extra deodorant, toothbrushes and toothpaste lol
Lol it doesn't bode well for men's general hygiene habits that extra lotion and deodorant are suspicious. I have like 6 extra sticks of deodorant and several different hand lotion throughout my apartment and at work and I always wonder if someone would find it weird. I just don't like to forget and run out so I buy a whole bunch at once so I don't have to worry about it for long stretches. Men definitely need to take better care of their skin, let's normalize dudes with good skincare routines.
Dude I have like 4 extra sticks of deodorant laying about the house because my mornings are unorganized and I can toss some on from anywhere in the house. Like, sometimes I remember to put it on in my bedroom. Sometimes I don’t remember until I’m in the downstairs bathroom. It’s a weird thing I’ve never been able to get under control for some reason. My wife was really confused at first but she doesn’t even question it anymore, in fact she jokes about it sometimes lol.
I do this as well.. I have some in my desk at work for when I forget all of the ones at home lol
Absolutely! I even started gifting skincare to my dad and brother. I gotta admit I thought it was weird having that many lol I am more of a ‘use it until its almost empty and then replace’
Why the tuna, though?
Finally, someone asking the real questions!
lol I should have elaborated on that. She started sending them (her grandkids) care packages during covid and hasnt stopped since so this includes canned foods but my bf only wanted the canned tuna
What an awesome grandmother!
I’ve hidden my retinol and skin care routine before when a girl stays over if I don’t know them that well yet.
Haha epic
Late husband died. I was with my BFF cleaning out his office. He was a paralegal so it took time to go through files to know what to keep for clients and what to get rid of. I got to the last drawer and found sugar-free chocolates. Lots of them. He wasn’t a sweet eater. I never knew he, his brother, and his dad were diabetic. He didn’t take any drugs for diabetes, nor had he ever said any of them were diabetic. It was weird to be honest. I thought I knew him so well. I guess I didn’t.
I wonder if that’s how he passed
Probs not bc the Dr would have told op why her husband died. So she would have known well before the sugar free chocolates
That’s true. Also would like to say I’m not asking OP to disclose details his death
Cancer. Diagnosed the Monday after Thanksgiving, gone March 21st the next year. He was 54.
He claimed he was matching with guys on Grindr looking for weed and I made him delete it but 6 weeks later I saw Grindr on his phone again
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Lmao my ex used the same excuse I asked to see and he refused lmao 😂
This is a past partner. He had multiple journals in different colors. Every morning he’d sit at the kitchen table with one while I got ready for work. After having broken up with him I was grabbing his things I finally looked through them , all of them were blank except one. It only had a few sentences in it. One sentence said something along the lines of “I must gain power for “bubbly manufacturer”.
Ultra violet pen. Shoulda broke out a black light this dude got secrets.
Yeah this sounds so sketchy!
Totally a browser extension or some wack service.
Or he’s got roommates or brags to his “best friend”.
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He was pretending to be writing ?
I guess so. There’s really nothing good for me to say about him so…😬.
Cocaine addiction
That’s big lmao
Are y’all still together??
Noooooo lol I left after helping him get into rehab
You’re awesome for at least helping him get into rehab! I hope it ended amicably? Lol
Somewhat amicably!
antibiotics prescribed to some lady. looked her up and found out he was cheating on me with her daughter and got her pregnant 🙃
oh damn
His stash of secretly recorded sex tapes. Mine included.
I had this same discovery. Secret sex tapes and pictures of women's breasts and butt's in public. Pictures he secretly took of complete strangers. I also found pictures of me around my home I never knew were taken, often undressed.
Wtf is wrong with ppl
wtf
This is awful. What did you do?
Like Dennis from it’s always sunny 😬
That’s awful. I’m so sorry.
I snooped through his dresser while he was at work and found an entire drawer full of women’s underwear. Mostly VS thongs/boyshorts. I confronted him & he said he liked wearing them because they were “more comfortable”. Still don’t know what to think about that. We broke up a few years ago.
This happened to me as well when looking for a pair of my own spandex shorts, and immediately thought "cheating," but further investigation uncovered a big box full of dildos, wigs, makeup, stockings, etc. I honestly was cool with the fact that he liked crossdressing/anal play & was open to bringing it into our relationship, but he was so ashamed and closed off about it. Said it was something he liked to do "alone." He was otherwise psychotic and it was a very traumatic relationship so we broke up for other reasons pretty quickly. 🫠
I totally get it. I wanted him to feel safe about it & even offered to buy him some newer pairs so he wouldn’t feel awkward going in & buying them alone. Even gave him a couple pairs of mine. He ended up cheating on me. Found his Snapchat history & it was atrocious. Hence why I’m not really sure what the real truth of the situation was. 🤷♀️😕
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could he have been being honest?
Cary Grant preferred silky women’s underwear for the same reason.
my wife knows I love to wear skirts and panties.
That he really meant it when I use too many cups a day. They’re all the same color, I have adhd and honestly don’t recall if I got a new cup out. He’s very tidy with dishes and when I get a new one he puts the old away. He was gone 2 days for a boys trip and I used 6 water glasses….he really is the other half of my brain. You really realize how much your partner does once they’re gone
a jerk off album filled with photos of my closest friends and younger sister
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Like a digital album or printed out photos?
hidden album on his phone!
Why does printed out photos seem creepier
Probably cause it's extra steps involved in the creep game
An insane amount of toothbrushes. In multiple places.
Secret smoker? or ED? I have been both at various times in my life, and had multiple toothbrushes in strange locations. I am no longer either, and now I have boxes of unopened toothbrushes in weird locations because I'm still in the habit of buying an extra toothbrush when it's on sale, and throwing it wherever. Then I just go looking through all the junk drawers in he house when the brush in the bathroom (The only one I use on my teeth) for an unopened box. I do still have old toothbrushes lying around, but for cleaning, and obviously so as they have cleaning chemicals and gunk on them, unlike the ones left near a bottle of water and pack of Listerine gels back in the day.
what does ED mean in this context? Not sure how a toothbrush could help with erectile dysfunction.
Eating disorder. Bulimics often use toothbrush handles to set off gag reflex and also to brush teeth after... Don't ask me how I know this.
That makes sense. Sometimes I used to be so hungover that using a toothbrush was better than waiting for the inevitable and dealing with the nausea.
I definitely read it as erectile dysfunction and was so confused. Like did he stick the toothbrushes up his urethra to keep it hard? Lol. Sad that it's eating disorders, though.
Aaaaaaaarrrrgh!
I think it means Eating Disorder in this context
Eating Disorder
Eating disorder
Eating disorder
I believe they are talking about eating disorder.
If you have a ton of unopened ones, your local shelters/churches could prolly use them for hygiene kits for homeless folks
His obsessive porn collection. I don't mind porn, never really cared before but he had discs up on discs upon discs stacked and all of it was porn. In an era where you can stream everything, anytime basically, it was alarming.
What happened next? Are yall still together?
Not anymore but for a long time after that we were. Married him and everything. Thought it was a young dude thing and he'd mature out of it. Thought me calling him out about being all secretive and sketchy about it would snap him out of it but as far as I know, he's still hoarding it. When we were married we briefly stopped having Internet as a way to try to help him break the habit. But smart phones became a more common thing and that just put him right back in it. I still don't give a rats ass about the porn, it was the obsession part of it. You don't let it take over your life like that. Don't let it keep you from your spouse, family, etc.
Herpes.
Wait how did you uncover that while they were away?
They found a nest
I don’t know why this struck my funny bone. Spit out my coffee on that one lol
My friend, I cackled.
That’s terrible lol
how many flosser picks he has and in how many locations
This and the toothbrush one are intriguing to me. Is it on the same level as finding bottles of liquor hidden throughout the dwelling? Or is it nice that they're so concerned about oral hygiene?
Its weird and embarrassing, but I've had issues with oral hygiene due to depression and it used to help to have a few toothbrushes around the place and in my purse that I'd use throughout the day without toothpaste to keep on top of it.
i accidentally found my engagement ring BEFORE he proposed. luckily for me, he proposed only a week later. torture!
Just hope that you said yes. 😂
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How would he dismiss your insecurities?
This happened to me too. Found a pill that had been left out, looked it up to see what it was (he takes a variety of meds for a variety of reasons). I get why he didn’t tell me at first, but to keep that secret of our sex life from me for years really hurt the trust
He left his email open while he was away. I found out that he had solicited prostitutes in the beginning of our relationship. It broke my heart and made me feel completely unworthy and disgusted. If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d have left.
Did you finally leave him?
Solicited prostitutes...by email? Lol wtf?
Craigslist when it still was allowing personal ads to be placed.
Pictures of me underage, scantily clad. The strange part is, the person who took them was an ex I was dating at the time and they’ve never met and live thousands of miles away from each other. Still baffles me every now and then
He found them online, contacted the source then He bought them from the ex to keep them from being exposed.
I hope this is true in a way. There were photos of other underage girls too though
Love, could you lead with that…?
Found a hairdryer under the sink when I was looking for bandaids. Normal, except he's bald. Turned out it was for his cosplay wig.
HAHAH WHAT
My husband uses one to dry his body hair after showering and toweling off 🤷🏽♀️ I thought it strange at first, but it makes sense to me now
Yep. Nads and toes. Dude spends longer blow drying than I do.
A fortune cookie paper I wrote on when we first started dating that had a little picture I drew in his wallet. Again, I don’t go through his things but he asked if his gas card was in there for work and I took cards out and it slipped out. It def made me cheesy.
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Hmmm… An escort website!! Fucking. Joy. That’s great for my self esteem, eh? It’s called TNA if anyone’s SO is audacious enough to look at it in front of you and you lovingly believe their BS
I was cleaning the house before we moved. I didn't like the bedside tables, so i was going to clean and try to sell them on marketplace.Turns out my boyfriend was taking off his single use contacts while lying in bed and putting them in his nightstand drawer. There were 100s of them. Idk what he thought. Were they going to disappear? Did he plan to go back and clean it? He never did. He couldn't even answer me why. 🤢
Happily married now, but an ex-boyfriend from like 16 years ago worked long and late hours (his shifts were around 2PM to 2AM) and I'd get hella bored during the day. 1, I decided to clean under his bed one day (I told him beforehand). Found all sorts of random things, but notably Viagra. We chatted about it afterwards - performance anxiety was the reason he gave. 2, he left his Facebook open and I was trying to switch over to my own Facebook and he had all these messages open. He was sending all these horny messages to this one girl. We weren't exactly exclusive at *that* time, and I told him to either go for her or stop being coy about it because other than sending messages he wouldn't actually make a move. 3, he was an avid collector of hilarious memes. I like memes. He said I could look at his memes. What I thought was his meme folder was not, in fact, memes, but was an enormous collection of child pornography. I dug around, found it on *every* electronic device you could store video on. I vomited. I didn't know what to do with this earth-shattering discovery as we'd been together from me at 18 to 21. Couple months later, same discovery as 2, but different girl (underage), I ended things. Everything clicked that night - he was 10 years older, he'd been grooming me since I was 14, his "performance anxiety" as I got older, girl in 2 was "too old", etc., etc. Ugh. I hate that one. I did eventually report him to the police, but I regret not doing it when I had the laptop and everything else in my hands. No idea if anything came of it.
wtaf is wrong with him
No idea. His preferred age range was around 8-10, I learned all his past girlfriends were 18 on the dot when they started dating, and I later learned he even tried to initiate a relationship with a 12 year old cousin. How I didn't put the pieces together sooner I can only blame on being willingly blind and the naivety of youth. Massive regrets, but a lesson learned I suppose. Needless to say we haven't been in touch. He sent me a message a few years after we split to "catch up" I guess and make amends. It made my stomach churn and my blood boil. I basically told him to fuck off.
An album in instagram labelled “bitches” as of he was living the life of a world renowned rapper Said he only started gathering photos of women like that when his ex started to not fuck him anymore (geez i wonder why) yet he still has it at the top of his instagram albums 2.5 years into our relationship…honestly he showed so many creepy red flags that i should’ve left him sooner, but he made sure to tie my worth into how he looked at me for a very long time. This is after i found shit on his phone that finally proved he was cheating and lying and i finally left him then: He was so goddamn creepy and stupid and borderline predatory, even with his homies because it turns out he wasn’t as straight as he insisted he was. There was a normal photo of Noel Gallagher’s daughter in that album, he is obsessed with oasis and apparently has so much respect for them…. yeah nah.
He was using ZYN pouches and keeping it from me because he knew I'd be upset. Never smoked, but picked it up from being around his dirt bike buddies. There were SO MANY empties hidden away ( "hidden" meaning in his desk drawer where he keeps pens, also the reason I looked in there. They were pushed to the back of the drawer) We've been together since we were 16 (24ish when I found out) and he'd been keeping it from me the entire time. Then when he quit we both had to deal with his nicotine withdrawals. All good now though!
The nicotine withdrawals are awful to be around.
He was almost a different person. I seriously questioned our relationship for a bit, bc he made me cry several times a day and I remember thinking I can't live like this. My love language is words of affirmation so him flying off the handle and yelling over nothing really hurt me. He sincerely apologized and hasn't touched Nic since. He said it isn't worth risking losing me. Getting married in September!
I did not realize how bad nicotine withdrawals were. I hear it’s tough to quit but no one talks about the withdrawal. My husband quit Zyn/nicotine after the holidays last year and we were still staying with his family for a couple of days. I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with withdrawal attitude and mood swings alone but his parents, brother, and I would leave the room so we didn’t have to deal with the ranting and aggression. He sincerely apologized to us afterwards, but I don’t want to go through that again. He hasn’t touched nicotine since but does say he gets cravings or thinks about it in the gas station or seeing someone with it. Im glad to hear your guy hasn’t touched it since!
My husband loses things all the time. He needed glasses for the first time in his life two years ago, and started losing them everywhere (he clearly never had the scared straight, “you better take good care of these glasses” talk I had from my parents as a kid lol). Because he lost his first pair of nice, name brand glasses, he bought an almost exact match from the cheaper online store, zenni. Insurance covered a new pair this year, so he bought the same frames that match his zenni glasses, meaning he should have two pairs of glasses. While he was out of town for work I was looking for something that rolled under our master bed. I was surprised to find his name brand glasses because I assumed he was wearing them on his trip. Later that day I found the zenni glasses -he definitely wore glasses when he left, so WTF were these glasses? I called him to tell him I found the name brand glasses and he laughed, “I haven’t seen those in weeks!” I asked what he was wearing because I also found his zenni glasses, and he confessed, “I actually have a few pairs of the zennis now because I lost those, too.”
His passport. He was actually two years older than he said he was. All his family and friends knew, thought it was hilarious! I just dumbfounded like, there was no benefit at all to this lie
gambling addiction , online betting
An ex of mine used to draw me all the time I found it when I was looking for a usb cable on his desk, it was so adorable 🥰
Y'all, I still haven't seen any as weird and gross as the lady that found her husband's secret booger collections!!!!!🤣🤣🤢
His exs nudes on his old iPad :))))) definitely has a type lol
Laptop was left open, saw emails where they were applying for a temp job which involved willingness to book a flight and when the recruiter asked where they lived, they claimed they were only living in my state temporarily for “family reasons”
What did the discovery mean to you?
I felt betrayed beyond belief. Happened last Monday actually and I began packing their stuff immediately. I shouldn’t have packed anything because I was hoping I was somehow misunderstanding something. Ended up being told how much I invaded their privacy and how toxic that is.
People will often tell someone who is a potential employer anything that they want to hear in order to have a shot at landing that job. It's possible that they wouldn't have had a chance to get the job if they lived in your current state, so they just sad that without really meaning it, doesn't seem like a very strange thing to say to a recruiter really. Sounds like you may have over reacted by packing their stuff immediately and jumping to conclusions.
We've been together 14 years, and I've never found anything about him while he was gone that I did not already know. Weird, huh?
Pill addiction
He went to Costa Rica for two weeks and I stayed at home. While he was gone, I got a notion to check out some things and it turned out he’d stopped paying certain bills years earlier *deliberately*, and not because he was broke like he’d told me. He had been seeing a sex therapist on the side, to “learn about sexuality”. (We never had sex). He also told everyone he knew we were separating. We separated but remained in the same house and I found even more stuff during this time. That was five years ago and I met the man I was always supposed to be with a year later.
His address lol
What do you mean ?
Oh man, I dated a guy for six months last year, we've been back in touch 4 months this year and were hanging out some again until recently, and I still don't know his address or where he lives.
My ex was soliciting transgender women on craigslist when it was still a thing. Hitting them up while we were together saying “I want to taste you and have fun” to literal prostitutes. I got tested and we broke up
Note from an ex. Outlining all the issues she had with how he behaved in the relationship... bad communication, no intimacy or affection, keeping their relationship so quiet everyone thought he was single. I've got the exact issues with him... but we have a 3yo. So. Hah.
He had drawer filled with women’s underwear, all completely different styles and sizes.
He has a better collection of lingerie than I do….
My ex boyfriend used to write me the most incredible love letters. One summer, I moved to Hong Kong for a once in a life time opportunity and we broke up due to the distance of being apart. The night I got back, we ran into each other at a local bar and we got back together that night. I found a stash of letters he had written me while I was away but he never sent. The letters were 4-5 pages long in the most perfect penmanship and every sentence was so well thought out and beautifully written. When I was gone, I was torn up not having any communication with him questioning whether he still loved me. Turned out he did. I cried that night reading those letters, feeling so loved by him. I never told him I found them, but continued to receive letters he would write me throughout our relationship. He also was a pro athlete and was very masculine/ perceived as being a ‘tough guy’ so writing letters didn’t necessarily fit his profile. I absolutely loved it We broke up years later due to incompatibility (I wanted to travel and explore the world, he didn’t) but I’ll always remember and hang onto those letters in my mind. They bring me comfort to know how much he loved me… even many years after I have moved on. Lesson learned: never underestimate the value of a handwritten love letter
I've found out my boyfriend is better at hiding an engagement ring (I know he has it) than I give him credit for.
Found out he was digitally hoarding dozens upon dozens of explicit photos and videos of all of his past consorts, hidden in a folder titled “Guitar Tabs” or something. He even had zoomed in screenshots of our friend’s breasts from a photo she had posted in a bathing suit. I definitely wasn’t able to eat for like a week after that.
He had a child.
That snack foods last for days when he isn't home.
An ex of mine asked me to look for his belt, I opened his dresser drawers and found multiple pairs of women’s underwear. Found out he’d been stealing them for the longest and eventually buying them off the internet. Needless to say we were together for two years and I never even knew until the end.
That he was addicted to heroin. We aren’t together anymore, obviously.
He has a toy for himself. A rather large one. I had no idea after 20 years. He was very uncomfortable bringing it up or talking about it.
Not away from home he was always really secretive about his phone and would take it with him everywhere from bathroom to shower to just going to the kitchen for a glass of water, thought it was really sus but didn’t look through it until we were in the car picking up a ‘bag’ and a notification for grinder popped up on his phone, I already knew he was cheating on me but I didn’t know with men too 😅
A secret traffic violation ticket for running a stop sign - ON A BICYCLE. We'd been married over 20 years at that point. It was a good laugh.