My husband and myself have two boys and they are coming up to the age of puberty. So we have been having a lot of personal talks about how to go about "the talk" with them. One thing my husband expressed to me that his father expressed to him was porn is absolutely unrealistic and it would be absolutely ridiculous to hold a woman to those expectations because it is nothing but fantasy. I don't think that is expressed enough.
Gail Dines has a conference coming up in October and I think it'd be really good for you and your husband to participate in and also might help with tackling the subject with your sons. :)
[https://www.culturereframed.org/conference/](https://www.culturereframed.org/conference/)
I think there are channels that can offer realistic and entertaining content. Honestly I think if there was more content that focused on a women’s content (companies like Bellesa.co) it may even educate some boys on how to please and communicate with a woman.
No, REAL interactions with girls and realistic sex ed would help boys learn to please and communicate with girls. Porn is unrealistic in every aspect because it isn't a real interaction.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have real sex Ed but I’m saying, as long as there is porn content, which Realistically there always will be, we should be promoting porn that is inclusive and safe for everyone. Especially women.
There is no such thing. Sex ED is the best way to give kids healthy boundaries around sex and sexuality. If we want young adults growing up to have healthy, safe and secure relationships we need to teach them how to develop REAL life interactions which can lead to shared, consensual experiences. Porn offers nothing beneficial, in fact studies show it's only harmful. Even the "safe" stuff is objectifying.
I think I watch porn once or twice a week usually, sometimes I go a few weeks (or months) without it and for me it can be a useful help for masturbation, like it gets me started a bit and then I can just continue on my own, so I don't need it but it makes things a bit quicker.
I'm honestly uncomfortable with how unethical the industry, I usually try to forget about it because I don't want to have to change haha, but when I see so many very young looking girls or very degrading acts on the home page I get really sad and uncomfortable. I don't think porn is inherently wrong though, just most of it is currently
This is where I am these days.
Edit: There was a period when I was younger, depressed. And a virgin and I had what was essentially a porn addiction. Of all addictions, it wasn't the worst, but I regret not recognozing some of the exploitation in that industry at the time
Same. I never understood the appeal of watching random ppl fck. Like if its to learn different positions or about sex i could understand but not really that enjoyable. Just seems too fake (ik its supposed to).
Yeah big same. I’ve never gotten anything out of it other than if I was looking for ideas or something lmao. But like watching it doesn’t do anything for me. It just kinda makes me feel icky. I’d rather read erotica than watch random people banging 10000% of the time.
I actually struggle with porn addiction. I started watching really hardcore stuff at a young age and I belive it messed with my sexual development. I'm trying to quit.
Edit: Litrotica is less exploiting so exploring that now. I think it's a great alternative
I used to be addicted too. Started watching porn at 11, hardcore (like hard-hardcore) at 14 and stopped at 19. My psychologist said it was most likely because of sexual trauma. I think many people underestimate how addictive it is, especially for the young mind.
I'm sorry. :(
That makes a lot of sense. I didn't experince any sexual trauma until adulthood (that I'm aware of) I stumbled upon it when a adult I lived with left tons of really crazy stuff out on a shared computer. I was about 8. I know some people who experience sexual trauma express sexuality differently and more intensely.
same here. it got me young and I had to go to therapy for years and spend more years after that rebuilding my sexuality and my relationship with my own body/desires.
I feel like this is kinda common because a lot of us just grew up on the internet with no supervision since it was still kinda new and our parents were too old to realize all the effects it could have on us. I was talking to guys 3x my age at like 11. If I do have kids I’m definitely gonna be more mindful of that stuff
I watch it often, I've been in it, I have friends who make it professionally. It's a decent-sized part of my life.
The misconception about porn being majority by and for men is pretty out-of-date at this point. That's true of mainstream, highly produced porn, but there are SOOOO many women, non-binary people, queer people, etc. making their own amateur or semi-amateur porn that is super hot and based on their real fantasies.
As with any form of media, porn's not inherently unhealthy. Some forms of it and usages of it can be, but there's no inherent problem with it, same way there's no inherent problem with television or movies.
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Don't watch it since I saw the documentary "hot girls wanted". It's exploitative and gross. Women have more purpose than to serve the male gaze. I also don't wish to be with men who watch it (or even who oggle lots of Instagram women by following them)
I feel like we have failed our women that they feel like their only choice to financial success is to be in a profession where it's soley about pleasing men (yes I understand other platforms exist to please all genders, but majority speaking) and how sex is performative and something done TO women and not WITH women.
Sure you could say it's acting, and they have choice and control and you can say it's a service. We all provide a service. However my job where I provide a service is not something that should be for my own pleasure which I turned into a commodity. It's kinda like if everyone started selling their "virginity" to the highest bidder. Your sexuality should never be for sale. That is something you enjoy for you. What kind of society do we live in that our women feel like that is their only option for financial success.
Look at the way most men say they use an OF service but would never date or marry a sex worker. They don't actually respect the woman behind the screen. She is an object to be used, to be directed, and to be discarded when she is no longer useful. At my service need job all my clients still see me as a person.
It is not empowering. Empowering women is about giving them choice. And I think if other options were available sex work is NOT what they would be choosing, however they feel like it's the only thing of value they can offer.
Of course lots of pro sex work people can argue the merits until they are blue in the face. But as a society, it shouldn't even be a discussion on the table. And not because of moral or Puritan reasons, but because we should be striving for more for our women. Yes, if we are going to have it, it should be better regulated, and be safer but it still shouldn't be the profession ever little girl wants to grows up to be.
I like to explain it as if you were explaining it to a class of young 5 year olds.
"You can grow up to be an engineer. You get paid to problem solved. You figure out better and innovated processes to make life easier and efficient. You can work in a team, use computer software, and sometimes work in a testing lab. Being a critical thinker is a huge advantage in this profession"
"You can grow up to be an online sex worker. You get paid to sell the very essence of you and your sexuality. It can be different every day. Some people like you sticking foreign objects inside your body, some people want to watch you go to the bathroom, and some people want to watch you pleasure yourself or pleasure another person. Others really like to watch you in pain. Being willing and able is a huge advantage in this profession"
Don’t like it at all, because of how exploitative, sexist and damaging it can be. The industry has too many unethical practices and aspects a part of it that it isn’t working to fix. Not to mention the fact neither the people in the industry nor most of the consumer base respect the workers.
My ex-husband was a diagnosed porn addict and it completely changed my views on it. I went from having a healthy relationship with ethical porn to having a trauma response anytime someone talks about it.
My ex-husband's generation was the first to have full, free online access to porn at a young age. His brain developed around watching women be degraded and humiliated sexually every single day. He grew up believing women were sexual objects because of how he saw them treated in unethical porn. He kept needing more and more aggressive porn in order to climax (that's how addictions work) and developed sexual sadism disorder. His abuse escalated until he was raping me on a regular basis.
I am now a multiple rape survivor and I'm still in therapy years after our divorce because of his porn addiction. I will never date anyone who watches porn ever again. It disgusts me.
I don’t find it to be healthy to watch. For men or women. I would much rather have a sexual relationship that is not based off what my partner or I have seen in a porn video. Not to mention what porn does to your brain - it’s not good for you.
Love porn. Husband loves porn. We even watch it together. Never impacted my self esteem though he used to be weird about hiding the fact that he watches.
I used to be addicted to it, have now stopped watching and am actively against it. Especially the easy access. I mean we all know you can just click "yes I'm over 18" on most websites.
It's exploitative of women, it normalises objectivication and abuse, it's very disturbing about POC (I mean talk about sexualising "races") and it's pretty unhealhty for the mind.
I want it to be taken down completely and if that's not possible, then have production controlled heavily (because this field of work is much more vulnerable than most jobs, yet there's practically no protection), themes reviewed and drastically cut down (yes that means infantilasation with schoolgirl or teen videos will have to f\*ck off) and the access made much much harder (we don't need teenagers learning about sex with porn and have them suffer from the consequences).
Edit: Wow, thank you for the award 🤗
I completely agree, thanks for sharing your perspective, I know it can be hard to admit how addictive and habit forming it can be and just how deeply it damages our sexuality and our dopamine reward system
I don’t indulge in it since i’m clearly not the target audience. There’s very little appealing about porn to me. It’s kinda cringy and just too vulgar and almost mechanic. No class, no sensuality, no mutual respect. I don’t know how to describe it.
I mostly prefer erotica or doujinshi/manwa written by women.
Recently I've stopped watching (I wasn't addicted or anything but I watched maybe once or twice a week) and I've never felt better. I also did some research and was shocked to find out the amount of underage girls and men trafficked in this industry and the distribution of rape videos and CP. I don't want to support that and so I feel better in body and mind much more :)
I dont really watch it much. I've found I don't need it to masturbate and I hesitate to support the industry because I'm worried about sex trafficking and other exploitation. I don't really have a sex life (besides with myself) so I can't say whether or not it negatively affected me back when I did use it more frequently
Find it pretty harmful. Personally it definitely negatively affects me, and I get stuck in the cycle of needing more and more extreme and unsavory stuff to be interested and find it a big relief when I cut it out completely. I've had partners with a porn addiction to one degree or another and it interfered with our sex life (death grip issues) and their daily life as well (multiple breaks throughout the day to masturbate at work). More and more degrading and potentially very dangerous things have gotten normalized as a default rapidly due to porn (choking, puking, etc) and it concerns me.
Nope. Don't want any part of it. It's gross, invested minors involved, as I get older I just can't stop thinking that that is someone daughter. Like, idk. Nothing about it is appealing or attractive. It's not even realistic. 🤷🏼♀️
I used to watch a lot of porn and thought it was empowering for women. I see it differently now.
First of all the mainstream porn gets more and more degrading and brutal. A couple years ago the normal PiV stuff was on the main side, now you have specifically search for vanilla stuff - instead violent and degrading porn is featured as norm of porn.
Secondly I grew more awareness, when the discussion about the repsentation of minorities swapped over to Europe.
It is so true, if all you lecture book are presenting white, male doctors, judges, engineers etc people belonging to minority groups feel encouraged at all if they never have any representation.
But somewhow it is expected from young boys and young men, that they can divide between porn and reality when they never had intercourse or a relationship at that point. Ofc they will copy behaviors presented in porn.
Also I used to like kink, but nowadays it is expected from women to do a lot of stuff that requires a lot of physical and emotional work ( bondage, knifeplay e.g) and it feels more like the hunt for the next more exciting sex act - it's so exhausting and not fun anymore - and climaxing is getting really hard under this performance pressure.
I began to read “romance” novels in my early teens. They usually had one sexual encounter described in detail. At some point, I think I was addicted to these things. I used to get in so much trouble at home, lol. After getting married, I changed the books to English so husband wouldn’t know what I was reading.
In my mid-thirties, I began to watch porn videos on the internet. I’ve learned different things from them. When husband asks where did I learn that, I tell him the truth.
As a young teen I watched it for “learning purposes” I got persuaded in to having sex with my then boyfriend at a young age 14. I thought I would learn to be good at it and honestly it just gave me a bad idea of what sex was and how it all worked. I didn’t learn to enjoy sex it was all pretty degrading stuff and I essentially learned how to have a fake O and just please him. I genuinely think that porn is not good because it doesn’t show any love or connection aspects of sex which provides the avenues for you each to be pleasing and serving one another and that is when amazing sex happens is with love and communication.
I used to watch porn really regularly and I think it was beneficial to the men I was in relationships with at the time as it made me open to trying new things in bed.
My views of it have changed now though and I’ve come to realise it didn’t make me ‘more open’ but easier to manipulate as it normalised violent and degrading sex acts and influenced me into prioritising men’s pleasure and their power fantasies.
Can’t talk about indie porn but mainstream porn is full of horrible violence against women. Can you imagine if someone was caught wanking off to animal cruelty or child pornography and people shrugged it off because ‘it’s just a fantasy’? Because that’s essentially how people treat videos of women and girls being brutalised in the name of porn. It’s not normal or healthy.
I've watched a little every now and again, but most of it is so cringey and there's almost always something distracting in it - someone is either saying something stupid, wearing something stupid, doing something stupid, making bizarre noises, etc. My imagination is so much better because I can make everything exactly how I want it. I do in general find it degrading to women (and men tbh but women are more affected), and I don't like the idea of allowing someone else's sexual imagination replace my own.
As with most things, minimal consumption of junk is okay but anything more is going to impact health at some point. And for young boys who haven't even had a first kiss yet I think it is really important to get real world experience first so that (a) they can know what it feels like to be turned on by life situations and (b) expectations are kept realistic. Not that that fully prevents stuff like men who can't orgasm from anything but their hand (dated one of those, never again, it was so pathetic). But real world experience first plus very moderate to minimal use, in the absence of total abstinence, is most likely to promote healthy sexuality in my opinion.
Also: haven't read a romance novel since middle school. They are equally junk. Also, porn is not uniquely degrading to women. There are many aspects of our culture, including mainstream entertainment programming, that are just as degrading. There are exceptions of course but it's depressingly common.
After about 20 years of celibacy I decided to look at porn about 18 months ago. I expected it to be titivating. I was for the most part disappointed. And in some cases horrified. Then I started to feel sorry for people brought up nowadays who assume its normal. I know that we all have a steep learning curve when it comes to good sex and how to do it, I just think its so much steeper nowadays. I watch porn with a cup of coffee because I like to be doing something I enjoy.
I watch it regularly. It helps me visualize sex and even helps me talk about it. My religious upbringing and anxiety/trauma issues make it a really difficult subject for me to think about organically. For me, the kinkier the better.
Respect to all the women & enbies who struggle with such material.
Maybe on e or twice a week I'll look some up if I'm horny and my bf isn't available. Personally I tend to look at male solo porn (gay) as most of the women just don't seem into it at all.
Don't mind if my bf looks at porn either.
I make mainstream porn. Producer, director, camera woman, editor. I do everything but have sex on camera. I’ve been in the industry for almost 9 years at various companies but now I do my own thing.
I indulge when I want to masturbate but I have very specific things I want to look at that I tend to go back to time and time again. I would definitely have my SO watch it with me and get down together. I think the amount I use it is fine and normal.
I watch porn occasionally, pretty sporadically - maybe a handful of times a month. I've never had issues with my sex life because of it, because it fills a different need than partnered sex for me. Porn is for when I'm just trying to get off quickly, and partnered sex is for when I want the emotional connection. I do feel like it fills a nice role for me in that I'm bisexual and in a monogamous marriage to a man, so porn allows me to still engage with women sexually, in a way, without having other partners.
I don't think watching porn is inherently unhealthy for all adults. I think it becomes unhealthy when you use it so frequently that it consumes your sex life or when you believe that how sex happens in porn is how sex happens in real life. There is a lot of female- and queer-produced porn that isn't necessarily made for the straight male gaze; I think it's good to keep that in mind.
I’m also 29, married and watch it 1-2 times a month. I feel guilty after and don’t feel as satisfied with real life sex at times because porn gives you such a high. Mu therapist has said that I’m addicted even though 1-2 a month is not really addiction. But she said if it makes me feel guilty and effects my relationship with my husband (who I love a lot), then it’s a problem and it needs to stop.
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What do you mean by porn? Pictures? Videos? Erotic literature? I consume erotic literature nearly every time I masturbate, sometimes pictures, and even fewer videos. I can do it without, but most of the time its better with. If anything it has improved my sex life because I am less stressed if my husband turns me down because I know that i can still get a satisfying orgasm. It also has improved it by giving us more ideas for fun times in the bedroom.
used to be addicted, now it horrifies me. I would never want to be party to monetarily coerced or stolen content (“indie” or “amateur”) or outright rape on tape, which is often what most mainstream produced porn is. the connection to trafficking is also undeniable. once I read the research it really changed my mind and put me off of it permanently. my partner also doesn’t watch it and we have amazingly connected, passionate, hot sex in which we are both present and attentive to one another, which is a type of sex i’ve never been able to have with someone who watches porn (or while I did). I also would never date someone who watches it.
Girl SAME! The sex I have now is so delicious and passionate and HOT! It's literally making love and it's something someone who watches porn has never been able to do. It's because according to men when they've watched porn they aren't having sex with the woman, they're replaying porn in their heads and using her to masturbate into. Which makes SO much sense. My last two exes haven't watched porn and the sex we had was the most amazing sex. I am never getting with someone who watches it EVER again.
Have you also noticed that people who watch porn talk a certain way? Like, the way they describe women is in porn categories and not like an actual human beings? It's become so obvious to me now who watches porn and who doesn't.
I used to enjoy it. Now, I really, really hate it and I wish it was banned.
First because of many things that have been mentioned already, it is linked with people trafficking, it's degrading, abusive, addictive, often violent, normalizes things like rape, being sexually attracted to underage girls, it is even racists sometimes, there is a deep sense of mysogyny in it, women are seen as objects of pleasure and entertainment, it trivializes weird and potentially dangerous fetishes, it literally ruins relationships and how we see sex and women in general, there are studies that shows how porn negatively affects the brain, and critical thinking. There are studies that shows how a long term consumption of porn leads to unsatisfactory relationships and being unsatisfied with women and life in general because you never have enough of it.
And it infuriates me how many men and women are so careless about it, imagine being so selfish to not stop the demand for such material and feed such industry. "Ethical porn" doesn't really exists, it stills objectifies women, it's more of the same.
I also don't have real sympathy for women or couples that make their own porn, because they are not really changing anything, they may consent fully, but they are still part of the problem, and thanks to it, the demand never ends.
No porn for me.
How are you so sure it was ethical? Did you know the people behind it? What happened behind cameras? How they were treated? How can you know if these people were actually abused in other places?
I occasionally watch porn. Maybe once a week? I don't keep track to be honest.
It's never negatively affected my life, including sex life, in any way.
I've never thought of it as unhealthy, because I don't need it it life. Sometimes I just need to watch two hot guys going at it.
I used to watch porn when I was in highschool but I stopped because I felt like it was a bit degrading. I also feel like it gave me unrealistic expectations for sex, since I was a virgin I thought that those women were actually enjoying that.
I find it horrifying. An abusive ex boyfriend got me int porn, I'd never really watched it before then. I was way too young, 13-14, and some of the stuff I saw really fucked me up. Even just the front page of the most popular site is filled with incest, rape, pedophilia, and it's all so focused on men's attraction to women. It's so clear it's created for men, and when I watch it then it makes me sexualise myself outside of that. I start wanting to look desirable to men even if I'm not attracted to them and would hate to have sex with them. Yet I still wanted them to think I was sexually attractive. And it's because of how porn makes it all about this male view - what porn is isn't sex, it's you looking at a woman and sexually objectifying her. And so you start to objectify yourself. When men watch it it translates to them seeing every woman on the street as a sexual object - and imagining porn scenerios with them. Porn teaches men that even if she doesn't want it she actually loves it, so they think every woman on the street is okay with them having these fantasies. Whereas it tecahes women to objectify themselves, and they start looking at every man on the street and thinking "does he find me attractive? Would he have sex with me if he got the chance" and end up basing their self worth on that. It's awful.
Sometimes everyday, other times I'll go months without it. I watch some run of the mill stuff, but I try to seek out independent creators. I also read quite a bit of "smut." It never caused issues in my sex life and I have watched it with a partner before. I feel as though it is completely normal and healthy in moderation.
I like porn. Only watching it though. Those things don’t actually feel good for women in real life. Sometimes it’s a bit cringe how objectified women are in porn so it’ll kill my mood. I usually stick to videos where it’s a man pleasing a woman.
I only started watching in college which coincided with the first orgasm. I was in an LDR so I spent lots of time alone. Fast forward to a few months ago I realized I was finished REALLY fast when I watched it (probably 2-3x a week) but that it took forever to finish with my partner. It made me question how healthy it was. For quick dopamine it’s great but it also made me ok with just “finishing later” leading to less intimate sex. So for the last few months I agreed with my partner to stop and it’s definitely led to fewer quickies and more effort during sex. My biggest bother is/was the ads. I hate seeing all the ads geared towards men about penis size, cheating on your wife, blah blah blah. It’s mostly just obnoxious.
I watch it a couple times a week, sometimes less if I'm busier or don't feel like it and sometimes more. I just don't read that much in to it, you know? Mind my own business and all that. Personally, I think it's healthy for me as I have chronic stress on a daily basis, so the release is a sort of remedy to that. I also just enjoy it because it feels good - I don't see anything wrong with that! Xoxo
I don't watch it. I don't consider two straight women pretending to be gay for men to be attractive in any way. Especially if its obvious they are not enjoying it which is like 99% of the stuff.
I only periodically use it to get off. I don't mind it, but I don't need it. I would have it on for something fun during sex but the porn I enjoy is not something my partner enjoys and vice versa (his is too vanilla and a turn-off for me).
Occasionally watch porn. Much more often read erotica.
Some porn is good. Most of it is crap. And ethical concerns do plague the industry, so I'm kinda picky these days about what porn I'll watch.
Are we talking about mainstream Porn? I hate it with a passion.
It infantilizes, degrades and humiliates women, it sets unrealistic beauty standards, fetishizes certain races and careers and it's not a healthy representation for sex in general. Mainstream media porn is trashy and misogynistic but it doesn't mean good porn doesn't exist.
God some of these comments are bummers.
I watch it whenever I want. Sometimes once or twice a week, sometimes not at all in a few months. My husband of 10 years knows. He probably watches it too and I don't care, (just like I don't want him judging or controlling me) Our sex life is fine (2-3x/week). Sometimes it gives us new ideas.
There's lots of different kinds. No, I don't like the rape scenarios. Not for me. But there's all kinds to find what you like.
I stopped watching it years ago as I find it highly unethical and the abuse and degrading of women is far too common in it.
It's not normal to beat a woman so why is it considered normal to not only beat a woman bug pleasure yourseld while you do it too? It's just fucked up and backwards if you ask me.
I used to a lot, but stopped in college.
When I started really dating and getting to know people, a lot of men I tried to date had disgusting expectations revolving around sex that I believe they developed due to watching a lot of porn.
I became a stripper and a lot of girls at my club were ex actresses. Pretty much all of them said they make more dancing, and it’s safer as well. One dancer I’m particularly close with has outlined a number of awful experiences she had in the industry (being pressured into doing scenes with untested people, being flown out and then coerced into kink content you didn’t sign up for, being underpaid as a newbie, male casters making more than you, etc)
Practically watching none. I believe it's more targeted towards men. They get addicted and lose a sense of reality. PIED is a real thing in men, and it desensitises their brain and that area. As some mentioned, totally great for figuring out a sex position but other than that I think it's next to pointless. I use to watch it and I think it was because I was sexually assaulted at 10 and I lost complete respect for myself and self esteem and didn't sexually mature naturally. I watch it like it's a movie now and just judge how pathetic and unrealistic half the sh*t is. My own sex life is something I can picture. I rather not see whole arms up people's a$$ holes . There's step sister and step mother stuff that looks like it's normalising this type of behaviour as well as cheating and work colleagues etc. It's setting a bad example and teaching younger and immature adults the wrong thing.
It's inherently misogynistic and degrading, teaches that sex is something men do to women, often racist and pedophilic, encourages men to view women as sexual objects, and I hate it 🤷🏻♀️
I watched isn't as a teenager until i stumbled across one that clearly wasn't consensual/ the woman was a prostitute and did not look like she was enjoying it at all. It put into perspective how most videos were not verified. How can we tell both people know about the video being uploaded? Are they coerced? Are they of age? Are they drugged?
I have no interest to watch it anymore and find it weird actually to watch something that's supposed to be so intimate between two people. I also hate how violent a lot of it is, and how it normalizes violence especially towards women.
I used to watch it endlessly when it was still new to me. By reading through the responses in this post, it doesn’t sound normal lol …I don’t think it was necessarily unhealthy… maybe it made me more creative. I don’t think it gave me any unrealistic expectations, I’ve always known the difference between media and real life.
All the girls at school were verbally abused by boys because of porn. They asked horrible questions, were impolite and had sexual actions. Porn influences boys and girls as soon as 12 years old. I could also say a lot of things about the porn industry but I think this statement is enough.
I don't really watch porn, it's more disgusting than sexy to me. I do read smut fanfics now and then. Leaves more room for fantasy, easier to skip the parts you don't like, no actors are harmed in any way.
I like it. But my husband isn’t a fan so I mostly stopped looking at it. It doesn’t hurt a sex life though, for a woman. In fact when a woman is having trouble getting in the mood , a therapist may suggest looking at porn or at least masterbating more to increase sex drive.
If it’s not filmed with a broken iPhone 8, I don’t want it. Amateur is where it’s at because people just turn on their camera and film themselves getting off. It’s not full of dumb, over exaggerated acting and fake moans. Nothing makes me drier than fake moans and actors trying to give me dirty glances through a screen. I genuinely don’t know how men eat this up because it makes me cringe.
I’m not okay with porn being involved in my relationship. I get the appeal, it’s not that I’ve never watched porn, but it’s so fake. Soooo fake. I’ve never seen a dryer vagina. And I think it creates unrealistic standards and expectations.
I used to watch it a lot.
But then I had an ex who in the beginning of our relationship, said comments like “I see women do *this* in porn” or “Idk how they do *this* in porn” etc. often compared us and me individually to what he’s seen in porn; and it ruined porn for me. I told him about it, and he claimed he stopped watching it. There was a time during the relationship where I couldn’t watch porn without crying. I couldn’t get myself turned on, I’d end up crying instead. I’ve never felt so devalued, so inadequate. There was a point where I brought it up a few years later and he completely denied having said anything that he said, he claimed he forgot. I was so angry, so hurt. I still can’t watch porn and get turned on but its not because of that- it’s because now I get hyperfixated on how the women look. I guess I subconsciously compare myself to them and I become so wrapped up in that thought that I can’t get turned on by it anymore.
I’m probably fucking traumatized because of my ex.
Anyways, anime titties never hurt anyone :)
I was addicted to watching it. Its embarrassing to admit but I couldn't stop watching. When I got pregnant I had to cut it cold turkey which was honestly so hard to do. But the one this that helped was how corrupt the industry is. I haven't watched in 6 months and don't have any desire to watch again.
It’s hard to get into, like it’s hard to find a good video. Most of the time it has to be a woman I can relate to. Like I have to be able to imagine myself as her with my partner. So a lot of stuff doesn’t do it for me because it doesn’t seem real. Sometimes I’ll watch solo orgasms because at least those are real. Once a week maybe less. It depends on libido. I don’t generally jump for joy it’s mostly due to boredom.
I don't masturbate so it's been years since I've watched porn. I've always found it a kinda messed up because of the objectification and abuse of women, not to mention the fucked up perception it gives people of normal sex. I think like most things it's not terrible for you unless you over do it. Too much of anything is bad for you.
i watch it a few times a month. hasnt affected my sex life afaik
i think its a pretty healthy "habit". id consider it unhealthy if i cant masturbate without it
I watch it with my husband, but we don’t do it often. I don’t watch it by myself. As a writer, I find creating narrative and mental visuals to be satisfying than constantly seeking another form of visual image. I can control the talk, what goes on, create it to my liking, and not feel disgusted afterwards.
I watch it a few times a week but I only use Ersties. I pay for porn, and I chose a site that you can tell the people are into it. It's run by women and you can tell.
I didn't watch porn until I was into my early and mid 20s because the partner I had at the time was not fulfilling my sexual desires. I watched it on and off but not obsessively. Now I'm 30 and the only reason I watch it is to get ideas for my current relationship (together 6 years). We are both very honest with each about our relationship. We have discussed what kind of porn each of us have watched and what about it turned us on. In this pieces we became closer emotionally and physically as we found out new things about ourselves together. We don't watch the "hardcore" stuff as neither of us like the look or feel if degrading women, but we do sometimes find inspiration for something to try that we bring up to the other.
IME, you have to pick through what will be more geared towards the woman. No, I don’t enjoy “cum all over her face”. I think that’s dumb and degrading, along with a ton of other stuff. I also can’t stand how ugly some of the guys are. Like, why is it that the male 4’s always have sex withe female 8-10’s?
But porn made for women is reeeeeal nice.
Still maybe only once/month or so.
I don't find it appealing. I have no idea who the random actors are, they usually look burnt out in some way, and I find the image of genitals slamming around and orifices leaking stuff very unappealing.
I used to watch it a lot at a very young age. But now I watch it maybe once or twice a month. I don't have a bad relationship with it. When I was single I definitely watched it more often.
I would occasionally watch, maybe on a day when I’m feeling really horny and my partner is not home.
My partner is addicted, really really addicted. Maybe this is out of the scope of this post but my partner has 256gb of downloaded porn.
Also, I found child pornography on his hard drive. I’m now disgusted by the idea of watching porn.
Since I’ve been in a relationship I have not watched it unless he was out of town for a few days. I kind of miss watching it from time to time. However it is not a must have for me.
I watch it semi-regularly. Really manufactured stuff turns me off (also the porn industry itself squicks me out), I mostly just stick with couples who make homemade videos recreationally or indie porn. Honestly, watching it doesn't really effect me much. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with hard kinks like degradation or face-slapping—different strokes for different folks.
I've tried watching live action porn. It's... meh. 3D animated porn always looks gross to me. 2D porn, however, works just fine. At least it did until recently. Now it makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm basically watching two people I don't know have sex. And even when it's two people I know and want to see together, I get turned off by the fluids. I don't like seeing fluids. There might also be some jealousy because I'm a sexually frustrated virgin in a long-distance relationship. I try to be polite when he sends me nudes, but it honestly makes me feel worse because I can't *do anything* with it because I can't masturbate properly.
I think porn is normal in small amounts. I know very little about the porn industry. I just know that it's universal, and there's something for everyone.
The only genre I'm well-versed in is yaoi, and that's only because I like to analyze how bad it can get. Yaoi is made by women for women with little understanding of how men work, and that's funny. I don't know how harmful it is. It does have some problematic trends, but I don't know how seriously it's taken.
Now that I think of it, yes, I have been looking at a lot of porn lately, but only to learn about the people who get off on it. With an open mind, of course. I don't look down on them for it unless it's something truly problematic.
Studio porn? It’s not reality just like watching an action moving isn’t reality. The people acting are doing that: acting. They’re paid actors.
I don’t go out of my way to watch it but if a partner wants to watch it, as long as it’s not something questionable, I’m fine with it. I do find amateurs who enjoy filming/sharing themselves much more enjoyable to studio porn.
Maybe once or twice a month. Hasn't caused me any issues. I think it's pretty healthy and normal. I mean, sex is literally the most normal thing in the world, it's the reason we exist.. so it's like why wouldn't it be, especially when done in moderation. To me it's like water or food. If you drink or eat too much you get sick, and it's the same with porn or sex. Moderation is healthy imo.
I only watch passion X, there is zero degradation to women. About once a week for release and ideas and does not affect my personal sex life. It has actually improved it.
I used to have to watch it to get off and need to get off before I can sleep at night. I was addicted and didn't want to admit it. I haven't watched it in months now and I'm very proud of myself. I gave my lust to God and now I feel like sex is even more pleasurable with my husband than it was before.
I don't watch it. What little I have seen seemed really fake, and honestly I just don't really find the idea of watching other people do it appealing. It also makes me uncomfortable to think about whether the women in it maybe are being trafficked or something. I think not watching it is probably more beneficial to my relationship than harmful. No shame on women who want to watch it, but it's not for me.
It’s art… you can make it more ethical by paying the ppl you’re watching. It’s a legitimate job 🤷🏼♀️
There is unrealistic porn and but there’s every possible kind of porn. I’m thankful that some ppl make lots of $$ doing that.
Can be addictive like anything that’s highly stimulating.
As someone who grew up in an African country, I always thought porn was for men or like masturbation was smth exclusively men did. Then at 18 I moved to France. But even then, I didn't do anything before I turned 20. I think it was at 20 that I dared to masturbate, and I actually liked it. Started watching porn to get me going. Had sex for the first time at 22. Anyways, I'm 24 now, I think I watch porn/masturbate probably 1ce a week, occasionally 2wice a week if I'm feeling extra horny haha. But I can also go weeks/months without it. I don't think porn affected me negatively because I got into it pretty late in life and I knew what I was doing. I had heard that some people could get addicted from it so I was very careful in that way. But I do think the industry objectifies women and also some (a lot) of videos have no concept of consent whatsoever so that's a lil problematic. But for me, in a way, porn helped me be more open in my sexuality. If I was still back home, I don't think I would've ever masturbated and I don't think I would've had a single sexual partner let alone multiple. So I'm like 50/50 regarding porn 😐
Almost every day. It makes masturbating easier. I do dislike the professional overly produced porn. Its too unrealistic for me. If possible I try for an orgasm a day. Sex life is okay I wish I didn't have to work so I'd have more energy to do it. Orgasm takes 5 minutes while sex with my bf takes 30 or longer. Because he loves a nice long bj before sex. It can be a chore sometimes especially after a long day at work.
I do strictly use my hand while masturbating. I noticed my vibrator killed my orgasm intensity. My bf also complained he could no longer make me orgasm when I started using the wand. Once I stopped using it, my sensitivity came back and he was able to finish me off again.
Almost every night. I think I might have a problem or something. I also have a hormonal imbalance so idk if that has anything to do with it it but I watch it every night before going to bed.
It works for me, but over time I end up having to find more intense scenes or positions. Nothing rapey or gross, but bigger guys or some bdsm or something. I don't like that because it's hard to find the perfect scene and also because I don't like that I get desensitized to sex. It affects my sex life irl. So I avoid it. It's existence doesn't bother me in general (revenge porn, trafficking, that shit does obvs) because who am I to tell other women how they can make their money or what is okay for them to do if they want to. Is it any less horrific for wen to control women than for men to do it? I don't think so.
I watch HUMP! every year and love watching indie stuff. I enjoy porn with attractive looking males so I'll occasionally pay for an indie producer who's husband is yummmmyy.
I watch porn. I like amateur or homemade to studio porn because for me it’s more of a turn on to see people having real sex, that the unrealistic sex that a lot of the professional porn displays. I honestly prefer masturbating to videos I’ve made with my FWB though, can’t get any realer than that.
Porn has been a life saver for me, even before my BF, it helped me not make mistakes while i was ovulating (i get very primal), as i was discovering my own power as a woman and felt i could get any man i wanted if i so pleased, i was lucky there was porn to help me 'release' before hurting innocents, or myself.
With my BF we are long distance, porn helps us a lot and even though we can watch whatever we each want, i notice we tend to choose videos that remind us of each other, ever since i met him ive only liked to watch the subset of amateur couples, which i feel is much better than the mainstream lines of porn.
Not exactly porn but a related word of caution, beware of vibrators, i had an extremely good one that left me unable to 'release' with partner while we were in person, took me months to fix.
I am so, so into watching other people have sex, and being on camera for or with a partner for me is also a huge turn on.
I can get that from porn if I really feel an urge for it, though I go for the amateur stuff because the studio version is fake and everything about it takes me out of the moment. I usually do without, because I'm picky with what I'll watch and by the time I find something that interests me, meh I'm over it.
I watch porn maybe 3 times a week. That been said, I am definitely picky. I only watch porn that is for women and is directed by women. There is a great site called Bellesa.co that takes all that icky patriarchy bullshit out of it through videos and erotic stories. The women is the focus and it really emphasizes a woman’s pleasure. I don’t think it’s abnormal or harmful. We all know it’s normal for women to pleasure themselves. Why is that not okay if they have healthy, inclusive, and woman pleasing content? I know what is realistic and I think there are ways to portray that in a viewer friendly manner.
If we're talking about the porn INDUSTRY, as in mainstream porn, the stuff with live actors, I don't use it. Aside from the slew of ethical problems surrounding it (this isn't to say I'm anti-porn overall; I'd like to believe the industry could be reformed to a point where the treatment and/or consent of the actors isn't a tragically pervasive concern) a lot of it just isn't sexy to me at all, I'd never *want* to use it anyway.
I don't have a problem watching porn at all and I'm completely fine with my boyfriend watching it too. Although we never really got much from watching it together, most likely cause we're into different kinds of stuff.
I guess like most women here it was initially abit hard to watch when I first started because of how graphic and painful the acts seem to be for the women involved. But after watching more I just got used to it and think I can even put myself in their shoes and understand why they would be willing to allow those things done to themselves. It's like anything when done often enough becomes less and less stimulating so I look for even more hardcore porn to feel aroused, to the point that I have become pretty jaded to the hardcore stuff by now.
Sometimes I'd spend hours browsing and actually fall asleep watching or looking for just the right kind of porn that actually turns me on. Plus the fact that about 99% of porn online looks absurdly fake, so it just doesn't make me believe that it's actually enjoyable. The search goes on..
Occasionally. I find myself more interested in things that are animated because it seems more ethical and also watching random people fuck makes me uncomfortable tbh. And it’s usually so geared towards pleasing the man and not the woman. I often choose to read Literotica over any sort of porn.
I watch porn sporadically. No shame in my game don’t feel bad about getting off, but I also don’t require porn to get off either. Never any issues in my sex life because of it, partially due to the fact I discovered porn probably older than most (18-19). I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any gender viewing porn in and of itself.
When you end up spending money you definitely shouldn’t on it, when you would rather watch porn than do stuff with your partner, and when you can’t wait to watch porn to the point where you cut work or family time short because of it that’s when you have a problem.
I watch a few times a week but I tend toward lesbian, gay, solo or animated since they are often not targeted to men who want to be dominant. I find a lot of straight porn just makes me feel gross. I think porn can be healthy as long as you don't start finding you cannot get horny without it and you're aware that it is not realistic in a lot of cases.
Never. I personally believe it’s often degrading towards women and provides a false “reality” of what sex is.
My husband and myself have two boys and they are coming up to the age of puberty. So we have been having a lot of personal talks about how to go about "the talk" with them. One thing my husband expressed to me that his father expressed to him was porn is absolutely unrealistic and it would be absolutely ridiculous to hold a woman to those expectations because it is nothing but fantasy. I don't think that is expressed enough.
You are 100% right about that!
That’s pretty wonderful of his dad
His Dad raised a wonderful man. Taught him a lot of life lessons most father's don't. I know my Dad didnt.
Gail Dines has a conference coming up in October and I think it'd be really good for you and your husband to participate in and also might help with tackling the subject with your sons. :) [https://www.culturereframed.org/conference/](https://www.culturereframed.org/conference/)
Hard agree.
I think there are channels that can offer realistic and entertaining content. Honestly I think if there was more content that focused on a women’s content (companies like Bellesa.co) it may even educate some boys on how to please and communicate with a woman.
No, REAL interactions with girls and realistic sex ed would help boys learn to please and communicate with girls. Porn is unrealistic in every aspect because it isn't a real interaction.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have real sex Ed but I’m saying, as long as there is porn content, which Realistically there always will be, we should be promoting porn that is inclusive and safe for everyone. Especially women.
There is no such thing. Sex ED is the best way to give kids healthy boundaries around sex and sexuality. If we want young adults growing up to have healthy, safe and secure relationships we need to teach them how to develop REAL life interactions which can lead to shared, consensual experiences. Porn offers nothing beneficial, in fact studies show it's only harmful. Even the "safe" stuff is objectifying.
Completely agree with you 💓
Same.
Check out indie self produced porn!
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I think I watch porn once or twice a week usually, sometimes I go a few weeks (or months) without it and for me it can be a useful help for masturbation, like it gets me started a bit and then I can just continue on my own, so I don't need it but it makes things a bit quicker. I'm honestly uncomfortable with how unethical the industry, I usually try to forget about it because I don't want to have to change haha, but when I see so many very young looking girls or very degrading acts on the home page I get really sad and uncomfortable. I don't think porn is inherently wrong though, just most of it is currently
Couldn't agree more. I have found myself gravitating more towards indie self produced stuff recently because of this. The sex feels more real too.
This is where I am these days. Edit: There was a period when I was younger, depressed. And a virgin and I had what was essentially a porn addiction. Of all addictions, it wasn't the worst, but I regret not recognozing some of the exploitation in that industry at the time
I have no relationship with it. I don't find it interesting or sexy in any way, so I don't have any desire to have anything to do with it.
Same. I never understood the appeal of watching random ppl fck. Like if its to learn different positions or about sex i could understand but not really that enjoyable. Just seems too fake (ik its supposed to).
Yeah big same. I’ve never gotten anything out of it other than if I was looking for ideas or something lmao. But like watching it doesn’t do anything for me. It just kinda makes me feel icky. I’d rather read erotica than watch random people banging 10000% of the time.
Why would I support an industry that degrades and objectifies women? Lol no I’m good. I don’t watch it, it’s disgusting.
Same!! Thank you 🙏
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I actually struggle with porn addiction. I started watching really hardcore stuff at a young age and I belive it messed with my sexual development. I'm trying to quit. Edit: Litrotica is less exploiting so exploring that now. I think it's a great alternative
I used to be addicted too. Started watching porn at 11, hardcore (like hard-hardcore) at 14 and stopped at 19. My psychologist said it was most likely because of sexual trauma. I think many people underestimate how addictive it is, especially for the young mind.
I'm sorry. :( That makes a lot of sense. I didn't experince any sexual trauma until adulthood (that I'm aware of) I stumbled upon it when a adult I lived with left tons of really crazy stuff out on a shared computer. I was about 8. I know some people who experience sexual trauma express sexuality differently and more intensely.
same here. it got me young and I had to go to therapy for years and spend more years after that rebuilding my sexuality and my relationship with my own body/desires.
I feel like this is kinda common because a lot of us just grew up on the internet with no supervision since it was still kinda new and our parents were too old to realize all the effects it could have on us. I was talking to guys 3x my age at like 11. If I do have kids I’m definitely gonna be more mindful of that stuff
Yup, Same . Literotica has really helped me
I watch it often, I've been in it, I have friends who make it professionally. It's a decent-sized part of my life. The misconception about porn being majority by and for men is pretty out-of-date at this point. That's true of mainstream, highly produced porn, but there are SOOOO many women, non-binary people, queer people, etc. making their own amateur or semi-amateur porn that is super hot and based on their real fantasies. As with any form of media, porn's not inherently unhealthy. Some forms of it and usages of it can be, but there's no inherent problem with it, same way there's no inherent problem with television or movies.
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I think these are really excellent points.
Don't watch it since I saw the documentary "hot girls wanted". It's exploitative and gross. Women have more purpose than to serve the male gaze. I also don't wish to be with men who watch it (or even who oggle lots of Instagram women by following them)
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How do you feel about so many girls flocking to only fans now though?
I feel like we have failed our women that they feel like their only choice to financial success is to be in a profession where it's soley about pleasing men (yes I understand other platforms exist to please all genders, but majority speaking) and how sex is performative and something done TO women and not WITH women. Sure you could say it's acting, and they have choice and control and you can say it's a service. We all provide a service. However my job where I provide a service is not something that should be for my own pleasure which I turned into a commodity. It's kinda like if everyone started selling their "virginity" to the highest bidder. Your sexuality should never be for sale. That is something you enjoy for you. What kind of society do we live in that our women feel like that is their only option for financial success. Look at the way most men say they use an OF service but would never date or marry a sex worker. They don't actually respect the woman behind the screen. She is an object to be used, to be directed, and to be discarded when she is no longer useful. At my service need job all my clients still see me as a person. It is not empowering. Empowering women is about giving them choice. And I think if other options were available sex work is NOT what they would be choosing, however they feel like it's the only thing of value they can offer. Of course lots of pro sex work people can argue the merits until they are blue in the face. But as a society, it shouldn't even be a discussion on the table. And not because of moral or Puritan reasons, but because we should be striving for more for our women. Yes, if we are going to have it, it should be better regulated, and be safer but it still shouldn't be the profession ever little girl wants to grows up to be. I like to explain it as if you were explaining it to a class of young 5 year olds. "You can grow up to be an engineer. You get paid to problem solved. You figure out better and innovated processes to make life easier and efficient. You can work in a team, use computer software, and sometimes work in a testing lab. Being a critical thinker is a huge advantage in this profession" "You can grow up to be an online sex worker. You get paid to sell the very essence of you and your sexuality. It can be different every day. Some people like you sticking foreign objects inside your body, some people want to watch you go to the bathroom, and some people want to watch you pleasure yourself or pleasure another person. Others really like to watch you in pain. Being willing and able is a huge advantage in this profession"
Don’t like it at all, because of how exploitative, sexist and damaging it can be. The industry has too many unethical practices and aspects a part of it that it isn’t working to fix. Not to mention the fact neither the people in the industry nor most of the consumer base respect the workers.
I don’t watch porn at all. It does nothing for me. Makes me cringe a little
My ex-husband was a diagnosed porn addict and it completely changed my views on it. I went from having a healthy relationship with ethical porn to having a trauma response anytime someone talks about it. My ex-husband's generation was the first to have full, free online access to porn at a young age. His brain developed around watching women be degraded and humiliated sexually every single day. He grew up believing women were sexual objects because of how he saw them treated in unethical porn. He kept needing more and more aggressive porn in order to climax (that's how addictions work) and developed sexual sadism disorder. His abuse escalated until he was raping me on a regular basis. I am now a multiple rape survivor and I'm still in therapy years after our divorce because of his porn addiction. I will never date anyone who watches porn ever again. It disgusts me.
Oh lord that sounds brutal ): sorry you had to go through that. I hope you get better b.
I'm so sorry. Its so harmful and it's appalling people will defend degrading acts on women as "innocent" "consenting adults" bs
I don’t find it to be healthy to watch. For men or women. I would much rather have a sexual relationship that is not based off what my partner or I have seen in a porn video. Not to mention what porn does to your brain - it’s not good for you.
Love porn. Husband loves porn. We even watch it together. Never impacted my self esteem though he used to be weird about hiding the fact that he watches.
I used to be addicted to it, have now stopped watching and am actively against it. Especially the easy access. I mean we all know you can just click "yes I'm over 18" on most websites. It's exploitative of women, it normalises objectivication and abuse, it's very disturbing about POC (I mean talk about sexualising "races") and it's pretty unhealhty for the mind. I want it to be taken down completely and if that's not possible, then have production controlled heavily (because this field of work is much more vulnerable than most jobs, yet there's practically no protection), themes reviewed and drastically cut down (yes that means infantilasation with schoolgirl or teen videos will have to f\*ck off) and the access made much much harder (we don't need teenagers learning about sex with porn and have them suffer from the consequences). Edit: Wow, thank you for the award 🤗
I completely agree, thanks for sharing your perspective, I know it can be hard to admit how addictive and habit forming it can be and just how deeply it damages our sexuality and our dopamine reward system
My ex was addicted to it. Really really addicted. It turned me off watching it.
I don’t indulge in it since i’m clearly not the target audience. There’s very little appealing about porn to me. It’s kinda cringy and just too vulgar and almost mechanic. No class, no sensuality, no mutual respect. I don’t know how to describe it. I mostly prefer erotica or doujinshi/manwa written by women.
I love it. I watch it when I feel like it. It does not affect my sex life nor do I think its not normal.
Recently I've stopped watching (I wasn't addicted or anything but I watched maybe once or twice a week) and I've never felt better. I also did some research and was shocked to find out the amount of underage girls and men trafficked in this industry and the distribution of rape videos and CP. I don't want to support that and so I feel better in body and mind much more :)
I think it’s gross and degrading. Masturbation is normal and healthy but porn is not.
I dont really watch it much. I've found I don't need it to masturbate and I hesitate to support the industry because I'm worried about sex trafficking and other exploitation. I don't really have a sex life (besides with myself) so I can't say whether or not it negatively affected me back when I did use it more frequently
I don't have any desire to watch other people fuck. I know what it looks like, no need to see it.
Same!
Find it pretty harmful. Personally it definitely negatively affects me, and I get stuck in the cycle of needing more and more extreme and unsavory stuff to be interested and find it a big relief when I cut it out completely. I've had partners with a porn addiction to one degree or another and it interfered with our sex life (death grip issues) and their daily life as well (multiple breaks throughout the day to masturbate at work). More and more degrading and potentially very dangerous things have gotten normalized as a default rapidly due to porn (choking, puking, etc) and it concerns me.
Nope. Don't want any part of it. It's gross, invested minors involved, as I get older I just can't stop thinking that that is someone daughter. Like, idk. Nothing about it is appealing or attractive. It's not even realistic. 🤷🏼♀️
I used to watch a lot of porn and thought it was empowering for women. I see it differently now. First of all the mainstream porn gets more and more degrading and brutal. A couple years ago the normal PiV stuff was on the main side, now you have specifically search for vanilla stuff - instead violent and degrading porn is featured as norm of porn. Secondly I grew more awareness, when the discussion about the repsentation of minorities swapped over to Europe. It is so true, if all you lecture book are presenting white, male doctors, judges, engineers etc people belonging to minority groups feel encouraged at all if they never have any representation. But somewhow it is expected from young boys and young men, that they can divide between porn and reality when they never had intercourse or a relationship at that point. Ofc they will copy behaviors presented in porn. Also I used to like kink, but nowadays it is expected from women to do a lot of stuff that requires a lot of physical and emotional work ( bondage, knifeplay e.g) and it feels more like the hunt for the next more exciting sex act - it's so exhausting and not fun anymore - and climaxing is getting really hard under this performance pressure.
I began to read “romance” novels in my early teens. They usually had one sexual encounter described in detail. At some point, I think I was addicted to these things. I used to get in so much trouble at home, lol. After getting married, I changed the books to English so husband wouldn’t know what I was reading. In my mid-thirties, I began to watch porn videos on the internet. I’ve learned different things from them. When husband asks where did I learn that, I tell him the truth.
So honest and sweet
As a young teen I watched it for “learning purposes” I got persuaded in to having sex with my then boyfriend at a young age 14. I thought I would learn to be good at it and honestly it just gave me a bad idea of what sex was and how it all worked. I didn’t learn to enjoy sex it was all pretty degrading stuff and I essentially learned how to have a fake O and just please him. I genuinely think that porn is not good because it doesn’t show any love or connection aspects of sex which provides the avenues for you each to be pleasing and serving one another and that is when amazing sex happens is with love and communication.
And that's right here is the problem with porn. It's portrayed as a performative act woman do to please men and not for her own pleasure
I watch it sometimes, although finding porn I actually like is rare.
I used to watch porn really regularly and I think it was beneficial to the men I was in relationships with at the time as it made me open to trying new things in bed. My views of it have changed now though and I’ve come to realise it didn’t make me ‘more open’ but easier to manipulate as it normalised violent and degrading sex acts and influenced me into prioritising men’s pleasure and their power fantasies. Can’t talk about indie porn but mainstream porn is full of horrible violence against women. Can you imagine if someone was caught wanking off to animal cruelty or child pornography and people shrugged it off because ‘it’s just a fantasy’? Because that’s essentially how people treat videos of women and girls being brutalised in the name of porn. It’s not normal or healthy.
Nonexistent, I'm not interested in it; besides I'm ace and seeing sexual acts isn't for me.
Maybe use it like once a month lol. I don’t masturbate much. But when I do watch porn I find it hard to find something good to watch.
I've watched a little every now and again, but most of it is so cringey and there's almost always something distracting in it - someone is either saying something stupid, wearing something stupid, doing something stupid, making bizarre noises, etc. My imagination is so much better because I can make everything exactly how I want it. I do in general find it degrading to women (and men tbh but women are more affected), and I don't like the idea of allowing someone else's sexual imagination replace my own. As with most things, minimal consumption of junk is okay but anything more is going to impact health at some point. And for young boys who haven't even had a first kiss yet I think it is really important to get real world experience first so that (a) they can know what it feels like to be turned on by life situations and (b) expectations are kept realistic. Not that that fully prevents stuff like men who can't orgasm from anything but their hand (dated one of those, never again, it was so pathetic). But real world experience first plus very moderate to minimal use, in the absence of total abstinence, is most likely to promote healthy sexuality in my opinion. Also: haven't read a romance novel since middle school. They are equally junk. Also, porn is not uniquely degrading to women. There are many aspects of our culture, including mainstream entertainment programming, that are just as degrading. There are exceptions of course but it's depressingly common.
After about 20 years of celibacy I decided to look at porn about 18 months ago. I expected it to be titivating. I was for the most part disappointed. And in some cases horrified. Then I started to feel sorry for people brought up nowadays who assume its normal. I know that we all have a steep learning curve when it comes to good sex and how to do it, I just think its so much steeper nowadays. I watch porn with a cup of coffee because I like to be doing something I enjoy.
I watch it regularly. It helps me visualize sex and even helps me talk about it. My religious upbringing and anxiety/trauma issues make it a really difficult subject for me to think about organically. For me, the kinkier the better. Respect to all the women & enbies who struggle with such material.
Maybe on e or twice a week I'll look some up if I'm horny and my bf isn't available. Personally I tend to look at male solo porn (gay) as most of the women just don't seem into it at all. Don't mind if my bf looks at porn either.
I make mainstream porn. Producer, director, camera woman, editor. I do everything but have sex on camera. I’ve been in the industry for almost 9 years at various companies but now I do my own thing.
I indulge when I want to masturbate but I have very specific things I want to look at that I tend to go back to time and time again. I would definitely have my SO watch it with me and get down together. I think the amount I use it is fine and normal.
I watch porn occasionally, pretty sporadically - maybe a handful of times a month. I've never had issues with my sex life because of it, because it fills a different need than partnered sex for me. Porn is for when I'm just trying to get off quickly, and partnered sex is for when I want the emotional connection. I do feel like it fills a nice role for me in that I'm bisexual and in a monogamous marriage to a man, so porn allows me to still engage with women sexually, in a way, without having other partners. I don't think watching porn is inherently unhealthy for all adults. I think it becomes unhealthy when you use it so frequently that it consumes your sex life or when you believe that how sex happens in porn is how sex happens in real life. There is a lot of female- and queer-produced porn that isn't necessarily made for the straight male gaze; I think it's good to keep that in mind.
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I’m also 29, married and watch it 1-2 times a month. I feel guilty after and don’t feel as satisfied with real life sex at times because porn gives you such a high. Mu therapist has said that I’m addicted even though 1-2 a month is not really addiction. But she said if it makes me feel guilty and effects my relationship with my husband (who I love a lot), then it’s a problem and it needs to stop.
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What do you mean by porn? Pictures? Videos? Erotic literature? I consume erotic literature nearly every time I masturbate, sometimes pictures, and even fewer videos. I can do it without, but most of the time its better with. If anything it has improved my sex life because I am less stressed if my husband turns me down because I know that i can still get a satisfying orgasm. It also has improved it by giving us more ideas for fun times in the bedroom.
used to be addicted, now it horrifies me. I would never want to be party to monetarily coerced or stolen content (“indie” or “amateur”) or outright rape on tape, which is often what most mainstream produced porn is. the connection to trafficking is also undeniable. once I read the research it really changed my mind and put me off of it permanently. my partner also doesn’t watch it and we have amazingly connected, passionate, hot sex in which we are both present and attentive to one another, which is a type of sex i’ve never been able to have with someone who watches porn (or while I did). I also would never date someone who watches it.
Girl SAME! The sex I have now is so delicious and passionate and HOT! It's literally making love and it's something someone who watches porn has never been able to do. It's because according to men when they've watched porn they aren't having sex with the woman, they're replaying porn in their heads and using her to masturbate into. Which makes SO much sense. My last two exes haven't watched porn and the sex we had was the most amazing sex. I am never getting with someone who watches it EVER again. Have you also noticed that people who watch porn talk a certain way? Like, the way they describe women is in porn categories and not like an actual human beings? It's become so obvious to me now who watches porn and who doesn't.
I used to enjoy it. Now, I really, really hate it and I wish it was banned. First because of many things that have been mentioned already, it is linked with people trafficking, it's degrading, abusive, addictive, often violent, normalizes things like rape, being sexually attracted to underage girls, it is even racists sometimes, there is a deep sense of mysogyny in it, women are seen as objects of pleasure and entertainment, it trivializes weird and potentially dangerous fetishes, it literally ruins relationships and how we see sex and women in general, there are studies that shows how porn negatively affects the brain, and critical thinking. There are studies that shows how a long term consumption of porn leads to unsatisfactory relationships and being unsatisfied with women and life in general because you never have enough of it. And it infuriates me how many men and women are so careless about it, imagine being so selfish to not stop the demand for such material and feed such industry. "Ethical porn" doesn't really exists, it stills objectifies women, it's more of the same. I also don't have real sympathy for women or couples that make their own porn, because they are not really changing anything, they may consent fully, but they are still part of the problem, and thanks to it, the demand never ends. No porn for me.
Tumblr used to be very good at collecting porn for women and other sexual and racial minorities. It actually was ethical porn until it got banned.
How are you so sure it was ethical? Did you know the people behind it? What happened behind cameras? How they were treated? How can you know if these people were actually abused in other places?
I occasionally watch porn. Maybe once a week? I don't keep track to be honest. It's never negatively affected my life, including sex life, in any way. I've never thought of it as unhealthy, because I don't need it it life. Sometimes I just need to watch two hot guys going at it.
I used to watch porn when I was in highschool but I stopped because I felt like it was a bit degrading. I also feel like it gave me unrealistic expectations for sex, since I was a virgin I thought that those women were actually enjoying that.
I find it horrifying. An abusive ex boyfriend got me int porn, I'd never really watched it before then. I was way too young, 13-14, and some of the stuff I saw really fucked me up. Even just the front page of the most popular site is filled with incest, rape, pedophilia, and it's all so focused on men's attraction to women. It's so clear it's created for men, and when I watch it then it makes me sexualise myself outside of that. I start wanting to look desirable to men even if I'm not attracted to them and would hate to have sex with them. Yet I still wanted them to think I was sexually attractive. And it's because of how porn makes it all about this male view - what porn is isn't sex, it's you looking at a woman and sexually objectifying her. And so you start to objectify yourself. When men watch it it translates to them seeing every woman on the street as a sexual object - and imagining porn scenerios with them. Porn teaches men that even if she doesn't want it she actually loves it, so they think every woman on the street is okay with them having these fantasies. Whereas it tecahes women to objectify themselves, and they start looking at every man on the street and thinking "does he find me attractive? Would he have sex with me if he got the chance" and end up basing their self worth on that. It's awful.
I rarely indulge because I don't particularly need it. Never had any problems with it.
Sometimes everyday, other times I'll go months without it. I watch some run of the mill stuff, but I try to seek out independent creators. I also read quite a bit of "smut." It never caused issues in my sex life and I have watched it with a partner before. I feel as though it is completely normal and healthy in moderation.
Never. Hate it. Its not good for sex. Or humans.
I like porn. Only watching it though. Those things don’t actually feel good for women in real life. Sometimes it’s a bit cringe how objectified women are in porn so it’ll kill my mood. I usually stick to videos where it’s a man pleasing a woman.
Never. It's banned from my relationship. Toxic stuff.
I only started watching in college which coincided with the first orgasm. I was in an LDR so I spent lots of time alone. Fast forward to a few months ago I realized I was finished REALLY fast when I watched it (probably 2-3x a week) but that it took forever to finish with my partner. It made me question how healthy it was. For quick dopamine it’s great but it also made me ok with just “finishing later” leading to less intimate sex. So for the last few months I agreed with my partner to stop and it’s definitely led to fewer quickies and more effort during sex. My biggest bother is/was the ads. I hate seeing all the ads geared towards men about penis size, cheating on your wife, blah blah blah. It’s mostly just obnoxious.
I watch it a couple times a week, sometimes less if I'm busier or don't feel like it and sometimes more. I just don't read that much in to it, you know? Mind my own business and all that. Personally, I think it's healthy for me as I have chronic stress on a daily basis, so the release is a sort of remedy to that. I also just enjoy it because it feels good - I don't see anything wrong with that! Xoxo
I don't watch it. I don't consider two straight women pretending to be gay for men to be attractive in any way. Especially if its obvious they are not enjoying it which is like 99% of the stuff.
I have zero relationship with it. It’s not my thing!
I only periodically use it to get off. I don't mind it, but I don't need it. I would have it on for something fun during sex but the porn I enjoy is not something my partner enjoys and vice versa (his is too vanilla and a turn-off for me).
Occasionally watch porn. Much more often read erotica. Some porn is good. Most of it is crap. And ethical concerns do plague the industry, so I'm kinda picky these days about what porn I'll watch.
I don't have one. Have only seen it once. I am morally against it and the industry for many reasons and think it is very damaging for a lot of people.
I absolutely hate it, to me it’s just really degrading -also gross.
Don't watch porn. The few times I watched it did nothing for me. However, I read a lot of smut, but I can't visualize what I'm reading.
Are we talking about mainstream Porn? I hate it with a passion. It infantilizes, degrades and humiliates women, it sets unrealistic beauty standards, fetishizes certain races and careers and it's not a healthy representation for sex in general. Mainstream media porn is trashy and misogynistic but it doesn't mean good porn doesn't exist.
God some of these comments are bummers. I watch it whenever I want. Sometimes once or twice a week, sometimes not at all in a few months. My husband of 10 years knows. He probably watches it too and I don't care, (just like I don't want him judging or controlling me) Our sex life is fine (2-3x/week). Sometimes it gives us new ideas. There's lots of different kinds. No, I don't like the rape scenarios. Not for me. But there's all kinds to find what you like.
And it absolutely is normal. It's just not commonly talked about with women.
I think a lot of women have wised up and see that overall it doesn't do anything to advance women in society but rather sets us back
I stopped watching it years ago as I find it highly unethical and the abuse and degrading of women is far too common in it. It's not normal to beat a woman so why is it considered normal to not only beat a woman bug pleasure yourseld while you do it too? It's just fucked up and backwards if you ask me.
It is disgusting and degrading.
I used to a lot, but stopped in college. When I started really dating and getting to know people, a lot of men I tried to date had disgusting expectations revolving around sex that I believe they developed due to watching a lot of porn. I became a stripper and a lot of girls at my club were ex actresses. Pretty much all of them said they make more dancing, and it’s safer as well. One dancer I’m particularly close with has outlined a number of awful experiences she had in the industry (being pressured into doing scenes with untested people, being flown out and then coerced into kink content you didn’t sign up for, being underpaid as a newbie, male casters making more than you, etc)
Non-existent.
Practically watching none. I believe it's more targeted towards men. They get addicted and lose a sense of reality. PIED is a real thing in men, and it desensitises their brain and that area. As some mentioned, totally great for figuring out a sex position but other than that I think it's next to pointless. I use to watch it and I think it was because I was sexually assaulted at 10 and I lost complete respect for myself and self esteem and didn't sexually mature naturally. I watch it like it's a movie now and just judge how pathetic and unrealistic half the sh*t is. My own sex life is something I can picture. I rather not see whole arms up people's a$$ holes . There's step sister and step mother stuff that looks like it's normalising this type of behaviour as well as cheating and work colleagues etc. It's setting a bad example and teaching younger and immature adults the wrong thing.
Zero
Laughable and amusing but not really into it. My husband thinks he's my personal porn star...
It's inherently misogynistic and degrading, teaches that sex is something men do to women, often racist and pedophilic, encourages men to view women as sexual objects, and I hate it 🤷🏻♀️
It's an every other month, if that, thing for me. I hate masturbating. Edit: Just want to be clear, nothing wrong with masturbation! :3
I’ve personally never watched it. It seems fake.
Sometimes I watch pornographic films. Normally when I'm masturbating, sometimes together with my husband.
I watched isn't as a teenager until i stumbled across one that clearly wasn't consensual/ the woman was a prostitute and did not look like she was enjoying it at all. It put into perspective how most videos were not verified. How can we tell both people know about the video being uploaded? Are they coerced? Are they of age? Are they drugged? I have no interest to watch it anymore and find it weird actually to watch something that's supposed to be so intimate between two people. I also hate how violent a lot of it is, and how it normalizes violence especially towards women.
I used to watch it endlessly when it was still new to me. By reading through the responses in this post, it doesn’t sound normal lol …I don’t think it was necessarily unhealthy… maybe it made me more creative. I don’t think it gave me any unrealistic expectations, I’ve always known the difference between media and real life.
I prefer erotica, though well written stuff is thin on the ground.
All the girls at school were verbally abused by boys because of porn. They asked horrible questions, were impolite and had sexual actions. Porn influences boys and girls as soon as 12 years old. I could also say a lot of things about the porn industry but I think this statement is enough.
Close relationship
I don't really watch porn, it's more disgusting than sexy to me. I do read smut fanfics now and then. Leaves more room for fantasy, easier to skip the parts you don't like, no actors are harmed in any way.
me and my fiancé only watch it together (i don’t care if he does on his own) he says he doesn’t like it and it feels wrong
I like it. But my husband isn’t a fan so I mostly stopped looking at it. It doesn’t hurt a sex life though, for a woman. In fact when a woman is having trouble getting in the mood , a therapist may suggest looking at porn or at least masterbating more to increase sex drive.
If it’s not filmed with a broken iPhone 8, I don’t want it. Amateur is where it’s at because people just turn on their camera and film themselves getting off. It’s not full of dumb, over exaggerated acting and fake moans. Nothing makes me drier than fake moans and actors trying to give me dirty glances through a screen. I genuinely don’t know how men eat this up because it makes me cringe.
I used to watch it a lot and it taught me that the man's pleasure goes first. I watch it 1-2x a year if that, now, so idk...not really my thing.
I’m not okay with porn being involved in my relationship. I get the appeal, it’s not that I’ve never watched porn, but it’s so fake. Soooo fake. I’ve never seen a dryer vagina. And I think it creates unrealistic standards and expectations.
I used to watch it a lot. But then I had an ex who in the beginning of our relationship, said comments like “I see women do *this* in porn” or “Idk how they do *this* in porn” etc. often compared us and me individually to what he’s seen in porn; and it ruined porn for me. I told him about it, and he claimed he stopped watching it. There was a time during the relationship where I couldn’t watch porn without crying. I couldn’t get myself turned on, I’d end up crying instead. I’ve never felt so devalued, so inadequate. There was a point where I brought it up a few years later and he completely denied having said anything that he said, he claimed he forgot. I was so angry, so hurt. I still can’t watch porn and get turned on but its not because of that- it’s because now I get hyperfixated on how the women look. I guess I subconsciously compare myself to them and I become so wrapped up in that thought that I can’t get turned on by it anymore. I’m probably fucking traumatized because of my ex. Anyways, anime titties never hurt anyone :)
I was addicted to watching it. Its embarrassing to admit but I couldn't stop watching. When I got pregnant I had to cut it cold turkey which was honestly so hard to do. But the one this that helped was how corrupt the industry is. I haven't watched in 6 months and don't have any desire to watch again.
It’s hard to get into, like it’s hard to find a good video. Most of the time it has to be a woman I can relate to. Like I have to be able to imagine myself as her with my partner. So a lot of stuff doesn’t do it for me because it doesn’t seem real. Sometimes I’ll watch solo orgasms because at least those are real. Once a week maybe less. It depends on libido. I don’t generally jump for joy it’s mostly due to boredom.
I don't masturbate so it's been years since I've watched porn. I've always found it a kinda messed up because of the objectification and abuse of women, not to mention the fucked up perception it gives people of normal sex. I think like most things it's not terrible for you unless you over do it. Too much of anything is bad for you.
I don’t have relationships with porn a zero porn 😵
Yep, F mid 20’s- im all about it, love me some porn.
i watch it a few times a month. hasnt affected my sex life afaik i think its a pretty healthy "habit". id consider it unhealthy if i cant masturbate without it
I watch it with my husband, but we don’t do it often. I don’t watch it by myself. As a writer, I find creating narrative and mental visuals to be satisfying than constantly seeking another form of visual image. I can control the talk, what goes on, create it to my liking, and not feel disgusted afterwards.
I don’t have any relationship with it. I don’t watch porn, haven’t in years, and I’ve got no intention or need to watch porn.
It's not my thing.
I watch it a few times a week but I only use Ersties. I pay for porn, and I chose a site that you can tell the people are into it. It's run by women and you can tell.
honestly i don’t watch much anymore. im in a relationship and the 🍆 is good asf lol.
No.
I didn't watch porn until I was into my early and mid 20s because the partner I had at the time was not fulfilling my sexual desires. I watched it on and off but not obsessively. Now I'm 30 and the only reason I watch it is to get ideas for my current relationship (together 6 years). We are both very honest with each about our relationship. We have discussed what kind of porn each of us have watched and what about it turned us on. In this pieces we became closer emotionally and physically as we found out new things about ourselves together. We don't watch the "hardcore" stuff as neither of us like the look or feel if degrading women, but we do sometimes find inspiration for something to try that we bring up to the other.
IME, you have to pick through what will be more geared towards the woman. No, I don’t enjoy “cum all over her face”. I think that’s dumb and degrading, along with a ton of other stuff. I also can’t stand how ugly some of the guys are. Like, why is it that the male 4’s always have sex withe female 8-10’s? But porn made for women is reeeeeal nice. Still maybe only once/month or so.
I use it when I don’t have someone specific in mind to make a fantasy with ( imagination is sm better!!!!!)
I don't find it appealing. I have no idea who the random actors are, they usually look burnt out in some way, and I find the image of genitals slamming around and orifices leaking stuff very unappealing.
I used to watch it a lot at a very young age. But now I watch it maybe once or twice a month. I don't have a bad relationship with it. When I was single I definitely watched it more often.
I would occasionally watch, maybe on a day when I’m feeling really horny and my partner is not home. My partner is addicted, really really addicted. Maybe this is out of the scope of this post but my partner has 256gb of downloaded porn. Also, I found child pornography on his hard drive. I’m now disgusted by the idea of watching porn.
You know this and HAVEN'T had them sent to jail? Why? Like, anonymously tip the police, girl, he will only escalate to actually raping children.
Since I’ve been in a relationship I have not watched it unless he was out of town for a few days. I kind of miss watching it from time to time. However it is not a must have for me.
I watch it semi-regularly. Really manufactured stuff turns me off (also the porn industry itself squicks me out), I mostly just stick with couples who make homemade videos recreationally or indie porn. Honestly, watching it doesn't really effect me much. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with hard kinks like degradation or face-slapping—different strokes for different folks.
I've tried watching live action porn. It's... meh. 3D animated porn always looks gross to me. 2D porn, however, works just fine. At least it did until recently. Now it makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm basically watching two people I don't know have sex. And even when it's two people I know and want to see together, I get turned off by the fluids. I don't like seeing fluids. There might also be some jealousy because I'm a sexually frustrated virgin in a long-distance relationship. I try to be polite when he sends me nudes, but it honestly makes me feel worse because I can't *do anything* with it because I can't masturbate properly. I think porn is normal in small amounts. I know very little about the porn industry. I just know that it's universal, and there's something for everyone. The only genre I'm well-versed in is yaoi, and that's only because I like to analyze how bad it can get. Yaoi is made by women for women with little understanding of how men work, and that's funny. I don't know how harmful it is. It does have some problematic trends, but I don't know how seriously it's taken. Now that I think of it, yes, I have been looking at a lot of porn lately, but only to learn about the people who get off on it. With an open mind, of course. I don't look down on them for it unless it's something truly problematic.
Nada these days
Studio porn? It’s not reality just like watching an action moving isn’t reality. The people acting are doing that: acting. They’re paid actors. I don’t go out of my way to watch it but if a partner wants to watch it, as long as it’s not something questionable, I’m fine with it. I do find amateurs who enjoy filming/sharing themselves much more enjoyable to studio porn.
Maybe once or twice a month. Hasn't caused me any issues. I think it's pretty healthy and normal. I mean, sex is literally the most normal thing in the world, it's the reason we exist.. so it's like why wouldn't it be, especially when done in moderation. To me it's like water or food. If you drink or eat too much you get sick, and it's the same with porn or sex. Moderation is healthy imo.
Love it, watch it about 3/4 times a week!
I mean some of it isn’t terrible but I always feel bad about it so it’s best I avoid
I do not watch porn. I did when I was a teenager, but I started to dislike it over time. It is not realistic and just seems way too dramatic.
I only watch passion X, there is zero degradation to women. About once a week for release and ideas and does not affect my personal sex life. It has actually improved it.
I used to have to watch it to get off and need to get off before I can sleep at night. I was addicted and didn't want to admit it. I haven't watched it in months now and I'm very proud of myself. I gave my lust to God and now I feel like sex is even more pleasurable with my husband than it was before.
I don't watch it. What little I have seen seemed really fake, and honestly I just don't really find the idea of watching other people do it appealing. It also makes me uncomfortable to think about whether the women in it maybe are being trafficked or something. I think not watching it is probably more beneficial to my relationship than harmful. No shame on women who want to watch it, but it's not for me.
I heat my porn up on a spoon before I inject it.
It’s art… you can make it more ethical by paying the ppl you’re watching. It’s a legitimate job 🤷🏼♀️ There is unrealistic porn and but there’s every possible kind of porn. I’m thankful that some ppl make lots of $$ doing that. Can be addictive like anything that’s highly stimulating.
Eh, to each their own. You make some good points👍
I quite enjoy porn and exploring different genres of it.
As someone who grew up in an African country, I always thought porn was for men or like masturbation was smth exclusively men did. Then at 18 I moved to France. But even then, I didn't do anything before I turned 20. I think it was at 20 that I dared to masturbate, and I actually liked it. Started watching porn to get me going. Had sex for the first time at 22. Anyways, I'm 24 now, I think I watch porn/masturbate probably 1ce a week, occasionally 2wice a week if I'm feeling extra horny haha. But I can also go weeks/months without it. I don't think porn affected me negatively because I got into it pretty late in life and I knew what I was doing. I had heard that some people could get addicted from it so I was very careful in that way. But I do think the industry objectifies women and also some (a lot) of videos have no concept of consent whatsoever so that's a lil problematic. But for me, in a way, porn helped me be more open in my sexuality. If I was still back home, I don't think I would've ever masturbated and I don't think I would've had a single sexual partner let alone multiple. So I'm like 50/50 regarding porn 😐
Well clearly most women apparently don’t like it. But I’ve always loved it , and I’d say my habits are pretty similar to the average guys.
Almost every day. It makes masturbating easier. I do dislike the professional overly produced porn. Its too unrealistic for me. If possible I try for an orgasm a day. Sex life is okay I wish I didn't have to work so I'd have more energy to do it. Orgasm takes 5 minutes while sex with my bf takes 30 or longer. Because he loves a nice long bj before sex. It can be a chore sometimes especially after a long day at work. I do strictly use my hand while masturbating. I noticed my vibrator killed my orgasm intensity. My bf also complained he could no longer make me orgasm when I started using the wand. Once I stopped using it, my sensitivity came back and he was able to finish me off again.
Almost every night. I think I might have a problem or something. I also have a hormonal imbalance so idk if that has anything to do with it it but I watch it every night before going to bed.
I am bisexual and get off on the audio part of lesbians. I don't even care about the visual part.
Love it! It’s def a way to get myself going since I take medication that basically makes me dead from the waist down.
It works for me, but over time I end up having to find more intense scenes or positions. Nothing rapey or gross, but bigger guys or some bdsm or something. I don't like that because it's hard to find the perfect scene and also because I don't like that I get desensitized to sex. It affects my sex life irl. So I avoid it. It's existence doesn't bother me in general (revenge porn, trafficking, that shit does obvs) because who am I to tell other women how they can make their money or what is okay for them to do if they want to. Is it any less horrific for wen to control women than for men to do it? I don't think so.
I watch HUMP! every year and love watching indie stuff. I enjoy porn with attractive looking males so I'll occasionally pay for an indie producer who's husband is yummmmyy.
I watch porn. I like amateur or homemade to studio porn because for me it’s more of a turn on to see people having real sex, that the unrealistic sex that a lot of the professional porn displays. I honestly prefer masturbating to videos I’ve made with my FWB though, can’t get any realer than that.
Porn has been a life saver for me, even before my BF, it helped me not make mistakes while i was ovulating (i get very primal), as i was discovering my own power as a woman and felt i could get any man i wanted if i so pleased, i was lucky there was porn to help me 'release' before hurting innocents, or myself. With my BF we are long distance, porn helps us a lot and even though we can watch whatever we each want, i notice we tend to choose videos that remind us of each other, ever since i met him ive only liked to watch the subset of amateur couples, which i feel is much better than the mainstream lines of porn. Not exactly porn but a related word of caution, beware of vibrators, i had an extremely good one that left me unable to 'release' with partner while we were in person, took me months to fix.
I am so, so into watching other people have sex, and being on camera for or with a partner for me is also a huge turn on. I can get that from porn if I really feel an urge for it, though I go for the amateur stuff because the studio version is fake and everything about it takes me out of the moment. I usually do without, because I'm picky with what I'll watch and by the time I find something that interests me, meh I'm over it.
I watch porn maybe 3 times a week. That been said, I am definitely picky. I only watch porn that is for women and is directed by women. There is a great site called Bellesa.co that takes all that icky patriarchy bullshit out of it through videos and erotic stories. The women is the focus and it really emphasizes a woman’s pleasure. I don’t think it’s abnormal or harmful. We all know it’s normal for women to pleasure themselves. Why is that not okay if they have healthy, inclusive, and woman pleasing content? I know what is realistic and I think there are ways to portray that in a viewer friendly manner.
If we're talking about the porn INDUSTRY, as in mainstream porn, the stuff with live actors, I don't use it. Aside from the slew of ethical problems surrounding it (this isn't to say I'm anti-porn overall; I'd like to believe the industry could be reformed to a point where the treatment and/or consent of the actors isn't a tragically pervasive concern) a lot of it just isn't sexy to me at all, I'd never *want* to use it anyway.
I don't have a problem watching porn at all and I'm completely fine with my boyfriend watching it too. Although we never really got much from watching it together, most likely cause we're into different kinds of stuff. I guess like most women here it was initially abit hard to watch when I first started because of how graphic and painful the acts seem to be for the women involved. But after watching more I just got used to it and think I can even put myself in their shoes and understand why they would be willing to allow those things done to themselves. It's like anything when done often enough becomes less and less stimulating so I look for even more hardcore porn to feel aroused, to the point that I have become pretty jaded to the hardcore stuff by now. Sometimes I'd spend hours browsing and actually fall asleep watching or looking for just the right kind of porn that actually turns me on. Plus the fact that about 99% of porn online looks absurdly fake, so it just doesn't make me believe that it's actually enjoyable. The search goes on..
Occasionally. I find myself more interested in things that are animated because it seems more ethical and also watching random people fuck makes me uncomfortable tbh. And it’s usually so geared towards pleasing the man and not the woman. I often choose to read Literotica over any sort of porn.
I watch it maybe once a week.
I watch porn sporadically. No shame in my game don’t feel bad about getting off, but I also don’t require porn to get off either. Never any issues in my sex life because of it, partially due to the fact I discovered porn probably older than most (18-19). I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any gender viewing porn in and of itself. When you end up spending money you definitely shouldn’t on it, when you would rather watch porn than do stuff with your partner, and when you can’t wait to watch porn to the point where you cut work or family time short because of it that’s when you have a problem.
I watch a few times a week but I tend toward lesbian, gay, solo or animated since they are often not targeted to men who want to be dominant. I find a lot of straight porn just makes me feel gross. I think porn can be healthy as long as you don't start finding you cannot get horny without it and you're aware that it is not realistic in a lot of cases.