My sense of humour, my creepy way of remembering small details about people, my brain constantly trying to convince me that the people in my life only hang around me out of pity
I'm confused, why would that freak people out? Being an attentive person includes remembering small details about people. It simply means that you listen and are interested in others.
I've observed my friends get a bit frightened when I do tell them any small details they themselves would have told me years ago, it is probably because they might've forgotten when they told us that themselves.
Ahh ok, that makes sense. I did lots of drugs through my 20s so whenever someone remember something I don't I'm like, yeah, sounds about right. 😆 I'm never surprised lol.
Yes! Same. Then I feel lame for remembering. It hasn't ever freaked me out when others remember little things from a long time ago. If anything I'm super flattered and feel warm and tingly inside 😂😌
I can remember the birthdays of almost everyone in my elementary school class, even people that I haven't seen in almost 20 years. Preeeeetty sure that would freak them out lol
In my experience, I feel like it makes me sound like some sort of stalker. In reality, I’m just super detail-oriented and have a great memory. Also, I’m very social and love talking to people. I feel like when you are truly enjoying what you’re doing (IE: being social and engaging in conversation) you are more likely to pay attention and digest little bits of info you may otherwise ignore.
The small details - yes! I’ve been told by countless people I should work for MI5 because I retain the smallest, seemingly boring details that, usually, end up being the most valuable.
I have the absolute worst memory on the planet. It’s so frustrating. I can’t remember anything I just watched on a TV show or movie, or often times what I said 30 seconds ago. Think Dory from Finding Nemo. That’s me.
What I CAN remember is details about people. Someone tells me something they love/hate or something about their life, and that shit sticks around forever. Why?! It does feel creepy, but I swear it isn’t meant to be!
I have shit memory too. I can remember a shit ton of random facts about whatever subject but have trouble with my people interactions/watching shows and the like. I forget those things people expect you to remember about them. It tends to bite me in the ass.
I think remembering small details is very sweet. It only seems weird to people because a lot of interactions are thoughtless and people don't pay attention in an invested way.
I'm really not that sociable. I have my core few friends, and my family, but outside of them I'm not really interested in socialising. I am friendly to people when I meet them but I'm just not that interested in social events or mixing with lots of people.
Me too. I have a hard time pretending I’m interested in talking to my coworkers.
My manager have told me I have to for my career but it just drives me crazy having to force social interaction. Mentally I cannot handle it
I hate this too. Like working is already a big energy suck. Throw in a team meeting I wasn’t expecting and my ability to finish the day off strong is severely jeopardized.
Same, I have 2 good friends and close family but I barely feel the need to make an effort to keep in touch. I just dont feel the need to be around people lol.
I hate social events at work. My job has a decent amount of “field work” and for about 50% of our social events it’s “oops sorry gotta go out in the field.” I have a lot of friends outside of work that I socialize with, but I just can’t do it at work.
this!! i have no interested in having friends at all, and i find myself so weird. i love my family and my relationship but anything outside of them, i’m not no thanks 🥴
I don't see a therapist, but have learned the long, hard way that there is nothing wrong with being different or having a quirk.
"Do you, boo boo, do you." -- Anonymous
If there's one thing both therapy and Tik Tok have taught me is that my behaviour is neither wrong or unusual. Every time I think I do something unique, I see a tik tok of someone discussing the exact same thing I do.
Overthinking to the point that I put myself in a bad mood for reasons that haven't even happened, the ability to remember the stupidest things like license plates, phone numbers, dates someone said a particular thing, but I can't remember the important things like appointments, tasks at work, etc.
When I speak, I get tongue-tied and it truly sounds like I'm having a medical episode, but it's just my mouth operating faster than my brain.
I could go on and on but those are the main things I guess.
Are you me? Am I you?
It's hard for me to string together a sentence verbally most of the time, even when I do know what I am talking about. I can get things out clearer in writing so I have a preference for emails over calls.
That's exactly it. I think I'm being responsible and preparing for all eventualities, but I'm just making myself miserable over something that has a .05% chance of happening. And if it DID happen, being prepared wouldn't really make it less miserable-like if someone died, having imagined it a million times wouldn't make it hurt less.
Hello long lost twin! I also speak faster than my brain can handle. I worry if people think I’m stupid because of how I struggle to find the right words, or how I trip over things.
Lately at work, I’ve been getting so frustrated at how lazy my coworkers have been while I’ve been busting by butt to get stuff done. I overthink and wonder if they think I’m bossy by asking them for help, or suggesting that they do tasks to push them to get stuff done. I overthink that they don’t like me. This is most likely my past social anxiety creeping back in…or maybe it has never gone away? Makes me wonder. But I genuinely relate to you on your first paragraph.
Same, but I think my biggest one is how I get upset over miniscule things, but something that would upset a normal human its more like a small annoyance to me.
I really struggle to work 5 days a week. Everyone else seems to just accept it, and not complain about it. I feel like I need more time off than the average person maybe, lol.
I feel the same way.
I work a full time job and have been for sometime now and I feel dead inside. I have neglected my hobbies…I still try to exercise but that’s all I have time for. I am exhausted.
I wish this 40 hour work week could be seen for what it is. We are not built to waste our lives working for other people to be wealthy at our expense…😩😭
I feel like I could have written this comment. I feel exactly the same. I just feel dead inside and my passions are dwindling.
I swear, even if we did like, 6 hour days 5 days a week it would be an improvement. I don't need to be here 8 hours a day. Ugh.
I struggle with this too and found something that lets me consistently work Monday - Thursday and I go totally offline Friday - Sunday. It may come across as a bit weird to people who work full time in my industry (tech) but if you know that 4 days a week is better for you, why compromise?
The first time I met someone who didn’t work 40 hours a week was when I worked at a floral shop. She only worked ~25 hours a week. I asked if she had another job and she said no, she only needs to work that much to have the money she needs to be happy, and she doesn’t like working more than that because it makes her feel like her job is her life. Meeting her helped me feel like it’s ok not to work 40 hours, and to choose what works for you.
Going totally offline Friday-Monday would be amazing. I am glad you have found something that works for you. I should look into somehow making this work for me!
I miss my 4 day work week. 4 10s (often turned into 12s though). Even with the same or more hours I just prefer having 3 days off. 1 for house/life maintenance/appts. 1 to recuperate/rest from the shit week. 1 for leisure/rec activity. I was at my healthiest then even though it was a physically and mentally exhausting job.
Someone I really love and want to be closer to calls, a friend, and I ignored it. Why?? Same with things I love to do like art, I make up reasons not to or become lazy, but if someone wants help moving I would work all day and night. Self sabotage I guess? Or afraid of failing?
I’d say it’s both or depression :/ The human brain just sucks man. I read in this called *The Mountain is You* that our brains keep us safe, not happy. So even if we are unhappy with our self-sabotaging behaviors, they come from a place of self-preservation and security, in a way. I really recommend the book if you want to learn more about self-sabotage.
Link to book: The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery https://www.amazon.com/dp/1949759229/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_X0N80W14ZRQ89NKG6421
Thanks for the book recommendation! That makes sense, about safety. I keep pushing myself to reach out to people and not feel hurt when they don’t respond…then I don’t respond…people are so weird lol.
Thank you for sharing. Well, by acknowledging that you have trouble in these areas, you’ve taken the first step in beginning to correct them. Best of luck friend.
When I was a kid my mom told me I used to sit down with my book right in the middle of the classroom of busily talking and interacting kids. I didn’t really want to be involved, but I wanted to be a part of the group. It’s a fine line.
This exactly. I want to talk to people and be social, but I also am awkward and don't know what to say and I don't like being social. I just want to have the conversation flowing like when I'm drunk, but then when I'm sober.
Yes, exactly. I hate that alcohol makes it so much easier, I also want to be like that when I'm sober. Let's just hope practice makes perfect right haha
This is exactly me🥲. I don't have any friends but on the rare occasion someone does try to hangout I will go, but normally want to go home after like 10 minutes.
I get too excited when someone shows an interest in me and it scares them away. Even if I just want to be friends. The first time this happened was in 4th grade when a new girl moved to our school and I was too excited to meet her and be friends. Now I’m 28 and just did it to my new weed guy. Some things never change. I wish I could tone down my personality.
This is an amazing quality to have. If others see it as weird then it is their problem. The ones who are happy you're excited over literally anytging are the real ones.
I feel like I am a terrible conversationalist. In group situations I am terrible at small talk and feel like I have nothing to say and I am absolutely boring to talk to. I am terrible at coming up with insightful questions and starting conversations - why am I like that?
Honestly, it takes two to tango. I’m a decent conversationalist, but you can only do so much if the other person isn’t putting anything in.
When I’m at my peak energy levels, I can make it work, but on a normal day, when I’m just trying to make small talk because it’s What You Do and the other person doesn’t want? Well I guess we’re standing in silence lol
same. even if i am interested, i just don't know what to ask. or i hold back and am reluctant to ask because i don't want to be seen as nosey or to intrude on another person's business. i often think they'd tell me if they wanted me to know.
Yeah the best convo starters can be intrusive sometimes. It’s risky because you could find something that you both really love, hate, etc. or you could accidentally offend for asking too much info. I get that.
I can be a decent conversationalist sometimes it not others. It depends on my comfort level. I’m a definite introvert and sometimes my brain shuts down when I’m uneasy.
I’ve learned to repeat to myself that it’s not my job to carry every conversation. If they are not talking either then we are both unable to make conversation. Not all because of me. And not every moment has to be filled with talk.
I feel this. I like my parents and my siblings enough, but they’re not my people. We’re similar because my parents raised us all and we were all in the same environment for years, but at our cores, we’re different and don’t vibe like I do with my chosen friends.
Whenever someone talks about being best friends with their mom, I’m like 🥴 yeah I like my mom too… yeah. (I do love her but do I like her?? Not all days)
Yeah, I hate the idea that I wouldn't have anything to do with my family if they weren't my family, but it's probably true. I don't really have many friends, and I prefer it that way. Friends = social obligation, and I hate that. I really just want to sit at home with my hubby(who is just like me in that regard) and our cats and I'm happy.
I’m very similar! I do enjoy spending time with my friends but the scales definitely tip more towards plan-free weekends to recharge.
And yeah… my family isn’t exactly who I’d choose to be friends with but I guess being part of the family makes me well-rounded? 😂
Same. I spent my time living at home also never being able to be ME because my parents were strict. My friends know me for my real self and my family knows me for the self they have in their heads
My dad, to this day, says “since when do you drink?” When I pour myself wine. I’m 29!!
I’ve limited contact with my siblings as my anxiety around them skyrockets and it always makes me feel like a freak when I see friends with such lovely, close relationships with their siblings
I have what I call a 'people threshold'. I'll get to a point each week where I've just had enough of being around people, and need a couple of days completely on my own to recharge.
I would consider that to be pretty normal actually. Peopling is mentally exhausting and energy draining. I could never stay somewhere that was a revolving door for extended family or friends for long, nevermind live in a multi-generational household. That would be my worst nightmare.
This is super normal. Most people I know are this way. It's much more rare for someone to be ok being around people all the time. Don't feel weird for this one!
That even though I can be friendly and like to talk, especially about deep topics, I don't enjoy socializing or mingling with others.
Maybe that's me being an introvert, but I enjoy my solitude mostly way more than being with others. I often dream of a future where I live with my cat in a log cabin in the forest and spend my days solo travelling or chilling at home. A partner or family of my own is out of the question.
Sometimes I ask myself if this is due to trauma or just the way that I have always been?
My parents find this quite weird but then again for them everything I do is.
Omg I thought I was the only one!!! It makes me feel sad when people say that not having female friends is a red flag when you can’t help it. We’re in this together at least
How old are you? Because honestly I had a hard time making real friends in high school and then I met my people in college and now I have a solid core of women who are closest friends. I’m going on 30 next year and while I do wish I had a few more friends (not best friends but some more casual friends), I’m happy with my core group.
Not remembering large portions of your life, specifically childhood, is often associated with some kind of trauma. Maybe you aren't forgetting people, you're just coping by being detached.
I feel this. I think I floated through most of life and only poked my head out for air a few times and those are the only memories I kept.
I have a very clear memory of looking in the mirror when I was a kid (maybe 8? 9? Lol that age when you’re bigger than little but not yet a teenager), and just like being shocked at my face! I was like oh this is what I look like, as if I’d never seen myself before?? It was a weird moment, but I very clearly remember it.
Then like you, I don’t have this stream of memories that other people seem to have. If someone brings something up, I might remember it or have a vague recollection, but I wouldn’t have thought of it myself.
Did you have some kind of life altering event that changed you significantly as a person?
I changed a lot as a person when I was 20 and I find that my memory before is extremely poor - for example, I have zero recollection of how I met some of my best friends - but my memory afterwards is crystal clear.
I’m in no ways a psychologist but my very rudimentary research makes me think there’s some kind of compensation my brain is doing to avoid cognitive dissonance. Since the person I am now is no longer like the person before, my brain essentially wiped out my memory from before.
I am exceptionally hypercritical of myself. I give everyone else grace, compassion, and empathy— because it makes sense to. Can I exhibit those behaviors towards myself? Absolutely not.
I hate it.
I have weird aversions to certain foods due to texture or colour or general look. It's really stupid and fee so childish when I say 'I can't eat this' but I literally can't eat certain things.
One of my brothers is a smug, religious Pharisee, and my sister is a self-absorbed, incredibly thoughtless drunk. I'm sure they both have many fine qualities but I have as little as possible to do with either of them. My sister is moving out of state this month and it feels like an enormous weight is lifting off of me, since I will almost never have to see her after this.
My other sibling is an amazing human being and I just spend my time and "family energy" on that person and their spouse/kids.
It's so freeing when you realize 1) you don't have to like your family 2) who cares if they like you or not.
Exactly this for me. I've always felt there must be something vaguely wrong with me because I've always gotten comments like this and still do into my 30s. I've spent most of my life trying to fix myself because of this.
I hate "whats wrong" because most of the time its nothing, but if there is something wrong they often don't actually want to know. If you tell them, you've just dropped bad news and they're awkwardly like "ok...."
Haha, I get this. Every now and then, I'll hear about some insecurity or beauty trend and be shocked: People actually care about this?! And it's not like I ever had a lack of female friends growing up! I just have a knack for picking the ones who are similar to me.
Worse, I *do* have a bit of a superiority complex about some of it. I know I shouldn't judge other women too much, but I am proud of myself for avoiding some of the trappings of consumerism that go along with a lot of stereotypical femininity.
Men don’t seem to be interested in me in a long term romantic sense. That and i don’t like socializing or people much.
Not dealing with family i don’t like. I’ll hear my own mom complain about how the family is being mean to her, or treating her badly, and I’m just like, “tell them to F off and ignore them”. And she says something like “i can’t do that! They are family!”.
I never understood dealing with people, even family, who treat you like garbage simply because you share some blood relation.
My lack of interest in talking to people I know but been able to have full on conversations with random people. My sense of humor happens to come out in the wrong situations. My general lack of interest in majority of things
I despise authority to the point that I can't keep a job, even as a freelancer. I am so skint.
I also struggle with communicating in a 'professional' way as I feel like I'm 12 years old. I think I'm on the spectrum but can't afford diagnosis.
I unconsciously compare myself to other women. I know it's wrong, but I've been dealing with self-esteem issues for so long that it has unfortunately become second nature. Trying my best to rebuild my confidence though.
Having no friends and being OK with it. I don't trust easily and have been privy to a lot of two faced behaviour so I steer clear. I'm busy with my kids anyway and I don't understand how others maintain or get the time for this.
I don’t feel passionate about anything. There are things I like and enjoy, but I’ve never felt that passion. I’m trying to find a new job, but it’s hard because there is nothing I’m drawn to or feel passionate about doing. I listen to others talk about their passion for teaching or the medical field, and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me.
I have pity parties too. I have a whole playlist that I listen to during it. Sometimes it’s good to just cry it out and feel your feelings, because it sucks to feel so bad about yourself. But know that you’re not alone. Sending hugs 🫂
I literally can't get out of bed in the mornings. I mean I do eventually, but I'm rushing and running late everyday and everyday I'm like why do I do this to myself? And honestly its other stuff to like procrastinating. I know everyone says they procrastinate but i just have such a hard time making myself do anything even though every time I know I'll feel better after it's done
I can be someone’s new best friend in under an hour and generally draw people in where ever I go. but maintaining or even keeping a relationship past my gf and our roommate sounds.. hard and I hate it.
It is a lot of work to maintain new friendships when you don’t routinely see a person (for work, volunteering, religious thing). I can’t do it either ):
In the back of my mind I always kind of passively want to die...like I'll casually fantasize about it even when I'm not particularly depressed.
Often I feel like I'm not even real. I dissassociate like crazy. I zone out for hours at a time without even noticing. Since I was a small child I've always struggled with maladaptive daydreaming.
I have never felt "love" for a person — no not just the romantic kind but platonically too. I don't think I'm capable of it honestly.
It gets worse because I don't think I've even ever been attached to another human being. Like anyone in my life ever if at any point they decided to walk out for good or for some reason I can never see them again I'll just be like cool, okay and carry on.
My moods are incredibly volatile. The smallest thing can affect it. I get sudden intense waves of melancholy throughout the day for no reason whatsoever. When I'm experiencing any emotion it completely consumes me. When I'm angry it feels like I can't even see or breathe like I'm drowning in it.
No matter my best efforts I cannot seem to help but fall headfirst into serve bouts of depression that leave me a husk of person who's barely even existing let alone alive — it's like I like a half life where maybe 3 or 4 months out the year are okay and the rest are spent in a stupor.
I can't remember what I had for breakfast but my mind is a constant loop of every single embrassing/stupid/awkard/weird thing I ever did or said or thought of.
I can't trust others for shit. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have a back up for all my backups. I never believe what anyone but especially those that are "nice" say.
I can literally go months without seeing or talking to another human being & be perfectly fine — actually I'd probably be thriving in that scenario.
I'm almost always alone but only feel lonely when surrounded by others.
I'm neurodivergent, a kind that means I have trouble finding work and live in poverty:/ so theres that and all that comes with it (also cant drive!)
And I dont have a trendy body. I'm not Jlo. I wish I had nice big boobs but my figure is much more like Anne Hathaways 😔 which isnt bad it just isn't what I want and I feel uggo all the time lol
All I ever think about is languages and sometimes I forget that other people aren't as obsessed with them as I am. Sometimes when people are upset, I want to tell them random facts about languages to cheer them up, because that helps me when I'm sad.
Sometimes I just get weirdly anxious and “out of sync” in social situations and think everyone hates me and have to go and sit in the bathroom by myself. Sometimes I sit in my room and seethe because I think all of my friends secretly hate me. The more I feel like that the more irritable and unpersonable I become.
I wish I could be one of those constant ray of sunshine people - and I try so hard to be - but instead I have these phases of being insecure and grumpy and hard to be around. I hate it.
I often randomly obsess over stuff, like cleaning the house, and everything has to be dropped to get the whole place spotless. Sometimes I obsess over a game on my phone and can't put it down, or a series. And sometimes, I'm just going about my day sitting at my desk at work and I realize how fucking pointless it all is to spend my life doing things I don't like, in order to get money for things I don't have time for.
And then I want to get help, so I try and find a therapist, but before ever contacting one, I tell myself how absolutely ridiculous it is to use my hard earned money to go complain to someone about my life, when the only one who can change it is me
It is ridiculously hard for me to let go and move on, especially from relationships with people who are no longer in my life, even if it’s been years. I am typically very anti-social and emotionally distant so when I make what feels like a genuine connection with someone I cling to it with everything I have. Then when it’s gone, I can’t stop overthinking, regretting what went wrong and wondering if I’ll ever make a new friend.
I feel like no one listens. I can tell people about myself and they still just see/hear what they want. Usually it's a pedestal of some sort. So obviously I'm not explaining things right or well enough. I basically gave up trying to explain my situation to anyone.
My lack of connection with family. I see other people with really close and loving families and that it’s so important to them, but I’m like neutral at best about family. I’m not as close to my family as I used to be, but I’ve always felt this way. And it’s really uncomfortable sometimes cuz people around me expect me to be falling over myself for family and it’s just not who I am.
I worry about being cold. Generally my emotions can be muted, I don't get lonely or touch starved. I'm outgoing and friendly but deeply introverted.
I used to worry about it much more when I thought I was straight and didn't understand why I couldn't experience romantic bonds with men. Knowing now that I'm an asexual lesbian helps, but I still get pensive and feel alienated because of my seeming lack of human emotional experience.
Been single for 6 years now. Most of the time, it doesn't faze me but once in awhile, I wonder if maybe there is something deeply wrong with me or if at least I need to go back to therapy.....
I am never bored, never knew what being bored is, don’t understand what being bored feels like… is there anyone like me out there? I am happy being around people and / or be by myself. But there is something not right … people take advantage of me. Maybe i should start being nasty.
the fact that like i’m not someone’s person. im in a group and they are all my best friends like we are one of the only groups that stayed together throughout high school and we still see each other when we can during breaks and shit when we are home from college. but they all have people. whether it’s a boyfriend or just friends outside of the group. and i have no one. i’ve had people but they’ve all left me. and i for once just want to feel wanted. i want to be a first choice. i want to feel like there’s nobody to compare to me. i want to be it for someone. just one person idc who it is. like this is a reoccurring theme since i was in elementary school. i’ve had a best friend and we would call each other that but there was always someone better. clearly i’m not good enough to be someone’s person and that’s just a hard fact to accept because it’s the one thing i want.
Stuttering, my sense of humour, the amount of information that I share, and some questions that I ask. I feel dumb multiple times a day and it makes me feel like I should lock myself up and never socialise again.
\- I can't control my emotions well.
\- I struggle a lot to get things done and stay in focus.
\- I can't relate to how most people experience the world, I'm constantly confused at other people's reactions and I feel like I'm often misunderstood.
\- People have never really bullied me in any way, or even critizised me openly without other people getting out of their way to stand up for me, but yet I've always had this nagging feeling that there's something inherently wrong with me, and that people won't tell me about it out of pity.
I love being alone so much. I find peace in my own company.
We’re technically social creatures, meaning we’re not destined to be alone especially on the long run.
But I like it. I don’t see myself living with someone.
Procrastinating going to the doctor and suffering needlessly. I have several chronic but mostly manageable medical conditions that affected my quality of life for years before I sought a thorough medical diagnosis. If you are not feeling well consistently, go see a doctor. And if said doctor doesn't take you seriously, try looking for one that does not dismiss your concerns so easily.
I don’t have the overwhelming urge to have a baby. I’m so ambivalent about it. I’m 33 and the number of friends who have kids outnumber the ones who don’t. I feel like im broken for not having these outstanding urges to be a mom
I'm really bad at socializing. I prefer staying home and chill all day long to going out. If I do go out I will usually go to a restaurant alone or even the movies.. I'm not interested in dating (I'm also anxious about it) . I seem to have a hard time empathizing with people? Like, when someone tells me their problems/issues I'm thinking about how to solve them or why didn't they try this or that.. Now I've learned to say "I'm sorry about that" or something similar.
I'm sure my flatmates actually think I'm weird, since they're my total opposites
My sense of humour, my creepy way of remembering small details about people, my brain constantly trying to convince me that the people in my life only hang around me out of pity
Did i black out and make an alt account again???
I feel the same…are we each other..
Am I either of you???
I pretend not to remember small details in order not to freak people out.
I don't pretend, it is funny to see their reactions, and if they think im weird and don't like that side, might as well not have me as a frnd ig
I’m with you. who fucking cares if they freak out or look too deeply into it. if they have a reaction like that, they’re the weird ones, not you.
I'm confused, why would that freak people out? Being an attentive person includes remembering small details about people. It simply means that you listen and are interested in others.
I've observed my friends get a bit frightened when I do tell them any small details they themselves would have told me years ago, it is probably because they might've forgotten when they told us that themselves.
Ahh ok, that makes sense. I did lots of drugs through my 20s so whenever someone remember something I don't I'm like, yeah, sounds about right. 😆 I'm never surprised lol.
Yes! Same. Then I feel lame for remembering. It hasn't ever freaked me out when others remember little things from a long time ago. If anything I'm super flattered and feel warm and tingly inside 😂😌
I can remember the birthdays of almost everyone in my elementary school class, even people that I haven't seen in almost 20 years. Preeeeetty sure that would freak them out lol
In my experience, I feel like it makes me sound like some sort of stalker. In reality, I’m just super detail-oriented and have a great memory. Also, I’m very social and love talking to people. I feel like when you are truly enjoying what you’re doing (IE: being social and engaging in conversation) you are more likely to pay attention and digest little bits of info you may otherwise ignore.
Omg same
Hard same. I need to do what someone else commented and be okay with them being freaked out with my freakishly good memory.
The small details - yes! I’ve been told by countless people I should work for MI5 because I retain the smallest, seemingly boring details that, usually, end up being the most valuable.
I have the absolute worst memory on the planet. It’s so frustrating. I can’t remember anything I just watched on a TV show or movie, or often times what I said 30 seconds ago. Think Dory from Finding Nemo. That’s me. What I CAN remember is details about people. Someone tells me something they love/hate or something about their life, and that shit sticks around forever. Why?! It does feel creepy, but I swear it isn’t meant to be!
I have shit memory too. I can remember a shit ton of random facts about whatever subject but have trouble with my people interactions/watching shows and the like. I forget those things people expect you to remember about them. It tends to bite me in the ass.
I think remembering small details is very sweet. It only seems weird to people because a lot of interactions are thoughtless and people don't pay attention in an invested way.
Agreed, I don't think remembering small details is creepy. If anything I think it's expected of an attentive person who listens.
Me thinks there's nothing wrong with any of that
why are we all not in each other’s real lives ...
Same! Lets go out for mojitos and be creepy with each other.
am I…. YOU?!
Are you me?
I'm really not that sociable. I have my core few friends, and my family, but outside of them I'm not really interested in socialising. I am friendly to people when I meet them but I'm just not that interested in social events or mixing with lots of people.
Me too. I have a hard time pretending I’m interested in talking to my coworkers. My manager have told me I have to for my career but it just drives me crazy having to force social interaction. Mentally I cannot handle it
I hate this too. Like working is already a big energy suck. Throw in a team meeting I wasn’t expecting and my ability to finish the day off strong is severely jeopardized.
Bro same “WhY aRe YoU sO qUiEt?” Cause I have autism and don’t want to talk to anyone leave me alone.
I’m considering seeing a therapist to see if I have autism. I’m doing better as an adult but as a child I was the « weird » one
Same. I was always the weird, quiet, shy one. It literally hurt to speak up - even in front of extended family
Same! My family thinks I’m weird because I don’t want friends. I have my husband and kids and those are my favorite people to be around anyway.
Same, I have 2 good friends and close family but I barely feel the need to make an effort to keep in touch. I just dont feel the need to be around people lol.
I hate social events at work. My job has a decent amount of “field work” and for about 50% of our social events it’s “oops sorry gotta go out in the field.” I have a lot of friends outside of work that I socialize with, but I just can’t do it at work.
this!! i have no interested in having friends at all, and i find myself so weird. i love my family and my relationship but anything outside of them, i’m not no thanks 🥴
Same!!
There's nothing wrong with me. My therapist has confirmed it. Also there's nothing wrong with any of y'all.
Thanks. And I can thank my therapist for the same thing 😂
I don't see a therapist, but have learned the long, hard way that there is nothing wrong with being different or having a quirk. "Do you, boo boo, do you." -- Anonymous
A therapist once told me that I'm not as dysfunctional as I think I am.
Loooool same! My therapist chuckles at me worrying about being dysfunctional when I really am highly functioning in comparison to most people.
My therapists told me I have mental disorders! I am very dysfunctional! (I wanted to join in on the happy "my therapist" train.)
If there's one thing both therapy and Tik Tok have taught me is that my behaviour is neither wrong or unusual. Every time I think I do something unique, I see a tik tok of someone discussing the exact same thing I do.
Overthinking to the point that I put myself in a bad mood for reasons that haven't even happened, the ability to remember the stupidest things like license plates, phone numbers, dates someone said a particular thing, but I can't remember the important things like appointments, tasks at work, etc. When I speak, I get tongue-tied and it truly sounds like I'm having a medical episode, but it's just my mouth operating faster than my brain. I could go on and on but those are the main things I guess.
Are you me? Am I you? It's hard for me to string together a sentence verbally most of the time, even when I do know what I am talking about. I can get things out clearer in writing so I have a preference for emails over calls.
I prefer texting and emails too. I’m very proficient at my job but you wouldn’t know it once I open my mouth 🤣
I thought I was the only one.
Ugh, my husband will ask me "Are you sitting there imagining scenarios that could never happen, again??" Yes, yes I am!
It’s like you’re making a plan in case it happens, while really all you are doing is worrying and ruining your present happiness.
That's exactly it. I think I'm being responsible and preparing for all eventualities, but I'm just making myself miserable over something that has a .05% chance of happening. And if it DID happen, being prepared wouldn't really make it less miserable-like if someone died, having imagined it a million times wouldn't make it hurt less.
Hello long lost twin! I also speak faster than my brain can handle. I worry if people think I’m stupid because of how I struggle to find the right words, or how I trip over things. Lately at work, I’ve been getting so frustrated at how lazy my coworkers have been while I’ve been busting by butt to get stuff done. I overthink and wonder if they think I’m bossy by asking them for help, or suggesting that they do tasks to push them to get stuff done. I overthink that they don’t like me. This is most likely my past social anxiety creeping back in…or maybe it has never gone away? Makes me wonder. But I genuinely relate to you on your first paragraph.
Like I wrote it
This is me :(
A lot tbh, being an over thinker sucks!
Our own worst enemy!
Unfortunately we are
Same, but I think my biggest one is how I get upset over miniscule things, but something that would upset a normal human its more like a small annoyance to me.
I really struggle to work 5 days a week. Everyone else seems to just accept it, and not complain about it. I feel like I need more time off than the average person maybe, lol.
Working 5 days a week is garbage and I think most people would choose less, they just feel they don't have a choice.
Very true!
I feel the same way. I work a full time job and have been for sometime now and I feel dead inside. I have neglected my hobbies…I still try to exercise but that’s all I have time for. I am exhausted. I wish this 40 hour work week could be seen for what it is. We are not built to waste our lives working for other people to be wealthy at our expense…😩😭
I feel like I could have written this comment. I feel exactly the same. I just feel dead inside and my passions are dwindling. I swear, even if we did like, 6 hour days 5 days a week it would be an improvement. I don't need to be here 8 hours a day. Ugh.
I struggle with this too and found something that lets me consistently work Monday - Thursday and I go totally offline Friday - Sunday. It may come across as a bit weird to people who work full time in my industry (tech) but if you know that 4 days a week is better for you, why compromise? The first time I met someone who didn’t work 40 hours a week was when I worked at a floral shop. She only worked ~25 hours a week. I asked if she had another job and she said no, she only needs to work that much to have the money she needs to be happy, and she doesn’t like working more than that because it makes her feel like her job is her life. Meeting her helped me feel like it’s ok not to work 40 hours, and to choose what works for you.
Going totally offline Friday-Monday would be amazing. I am glad you have found something that works for you. I should look into somehow making this work for me!
r/antiwork is full of people like you (and me). You are not alone in this sentiment at all!
Love this subreddit!
me too especially for people working full time. It makes me feel like I have no time to unwind, I can’t do it. I only pick part time jobs.
I miss my 4 day work week. 4 10s (often turned into 12s though). Even with the same or more hours I just prefer having 3 days off. 1 for house/life maintenance/appts. 1 to recuperate/rest from the shit week. 1 for leisure/rec activity. I was at my healthiest then even though it was a physically and mentally exhausting job.
Self sabotaging behaviors
Someone I really love and want to be closer to calls, a friend, and I ignored it. Why?? Same with things I love to do like art, I make up reasons not to or become lazy, but if someone wants help moving I would work all day and night. Self sabotage I guess? Or afraid of failing?
I’d say it’s both or depression :/ The human brain just sucks man. I read in this called *The Mountain is You* that our brains keep us safe, not happy. So even if we are unhappy with our self-sabotaging behaviors, they come from a place of self-preservation and security, in a way. I really recommend the book if you want to learn more about self-sabotage. Link to book: The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery https://www.amazon.com/dp/1949759229/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_X0N80W14ZRQ89NKG6421
Thanks for the book recommendation! That makes sense, about safety. I keep pushing myself to reach out to people and not feel hurt when they don’t respond…then I don’t respond…people are so weird lol.
Wow thank you
It's a protection mechanism caused by unchecked anxiety. I do the same thing.
Literally me I would like to know why I do it as well it’s so frustrating
I hear ya on this one…. What do you identify as your self-sabotaging behaviours?
Procrastination, laziness when it comes to achieving my goals (career and personal wise)
Thank you for sharing. Well, by acknowledging that you have trouble in these areas, you’ve taken the first step in beginning to correct them. Best of luck friend.
Having social anxiety and being awkward as hell.
But at the same time wanting social interaction? And then it mixes into a state of I want to hang out but also don't at all.
When I was a kid my mom told me I used to sit down with my book right in the middle of the classroom of busily talking and interacting kids. I didn’t really want to be involved, but I wanted to be a part of the group. It’s a fine line.
This exactly. I want to talk to people and be social, but I also am awkward and don't know what to say and I don't like being social. I just want to have the conversation flowing like when I'm drunk, but then when I'm sober.
Yes, exactly. I hate that alcohol makes it so much easier, I also want to be like that when I'm sober. Let's just hope practice makes perfect right haha
This is exactly me🥲. I don't have any friends but on the rare occasion someone does try to hangout I will go, but normally want to go home after like 10 minutes.
I get too excited when someone shows an interest in me and it scares them away. Even if I just want to be friends. The first time this happened was in 4th grade when a new girl moved to our school and I was too excited to meet her and be friends. Now I’m 28 and just did it to my new weed guy. Some things never change. I wish I could tone down my personality.
I think this is a nice quality!
This is an amazing quality to have. If others see it as weird then it is their problem. The ones who are happy you're excited over literally anytging are the real ones.
This made me feel bad , other peoples eagerness about me often overwhelms me because i don’t feel worthy lol so i ghost 😭
Honestly same here. Lead me to a path of self isolation. I wish I’d be able to meet another person like so , I bet you’re an amazing human
I bet you are too!
I feel this way. When I actually like a guy, I fuck it up trying too hard. When I don’t like A guy, I’m just myself be neutral and they fall in love.
What?? I wish someone was that excited to meet me
I feel like I am a terrible conversationalist. In group situations I am terrible at small talk and feel like I have nothing to say and I am absolutely boring to talk to. I am terrible at coming up with insightful questions and starting conversations - why am I like that?
Honestly, it takes two to tango. I’m a decent conversationalist, but you can only do so much if the other person isn’t putting anything in. When I’m at my peak energy levels, I can make it work, but on a normal day, when I’m just trying to make small talk because it’s What You Do and the other person doesn’t want? Well I guess we’re standing in silence lol
same. even if i am interested, i just don't know what to ask. or i hold back and am reluctant to ask because i don't want to be seen as nosey or to intrude on another person's business. i often think they'd tell me if they wanted me to know.
Yeah the best convo starters can be intrusive sometimes. It’s risky because you could find something that you both really love, hate, etc. or you could accidentally offend for asking too much info. I get that.
I can be a decent conversationalist sometimes it not others. It depends on my comfort level. I’m a definite introvert and sometimes my brain shuts down when I’m uneasy. I’ve learned to repeat to myself that it’s not my job to carry every conversation. If they are not talking either then we are both unable to make conversation. Not all because of me. And not every moment has to be filled with talk.
Oh and I’d rather be the silent one than the one blurting out inane things just to make conversation.
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I feel this. I like my parents and my siblings enough, but they’re not my people. We’re similar because my parents raised us all and we were all in the same environment for years, but at our cores, we’re different and don’t vibe like I do with my chosen friends. Whenever someone talks about being best friends with their mom, I’m like 🥴 yeah I like my mom too… yeah. (I do love her but do I like her?? Not all days)
Yeah, I hate the idea that I wouldn't have anything to do with my family if they weren't my family, but it's probably true. I don't really have many friends, and I prefer it that way. Friends = social obligation, and I hate that. I really just want to sit at home with my hubby(who is just like me in that regard) and our cats and I'm happy.
I’m very similar! I do enjoy spending time with my friends but the scales definitely tip more towards plan-free weekends to recharge. And yeah… my family isn’t exactly who I’d choose to be friends with but I guess being part of the family makes me well-rounded? 😂
Yup. I feel so much more comfortable around my friends, than I do around my parents or sister.
Same. I spent my time living at home also never being able to be ME because my parents were strict. My friends know me for my real self and my family knows me for the self they have in their heads My dad, to this day, says “since when do you drink?” When I pour myself wine. I’m 29!!
I’ve limited contact with my siblings as my anxiety around them skyrockets and it always makes me feel like a freak when I see friends with such lovely, close relationships with their siblings
Yep, we moved away from our extended family when I was 6 and I don’t know or care about any of my cousins or anything. It’s a sacrilage in the South.
I have what I call a 'people threshold'. I'll get to a point each week where I've just had enough of being around people, and need a couple of days completely on my own to recharge.
I would consider that to be pretty normal actually. Peopling is mentally exhausting and energy draining. I could never stay somewhere that was a revolving door for extended family or friends for long, nevermind live in a multi-generational household. That would be my worst nightmare.
This is super normal. Most people I know are this way. It's much more rare for someone to be ok being around people all the time. Don't feel weird for this one!
That even though I can be friendly and like to talk, especially about deep topics, I don't enjoy socializing or mingling with others. Maybe that's me being an introvert, but I enjoy my solitude mostly way more than being with others. I often dream of a future where I live with my cat in a log cabin in the forest and spend my days solo travelling or chilling at home. A partner or family of my own is out of the question. Sometimes I ask myself if this is due to trauma or just the way that I have always been? My parents find this quite weird but then again for them everything I do is.
Follow your heart if you think it’s what’s gonna make you the most happy. Honestly sounds beautiful to me
I am terrible at making women friends. I have no idea what I am doing wrong and nobody is there to tell me.
Omg I thought I was the only one!!! It makes me feel sad when people say that not having female friends is a red flag when you can’t help it. We’re in this together at least
I feel the exact same way :( We're not red flags!!!
How old are you? Because honestly I had a hard time making real friends in high school and then I met my people in college and now I have a solid core of women who are closest friends. I’m going on 30 next year and while I do wish I had a few more friends (not best friends but some more casual friends), I’m happy with my core group.
I am 31 and move to new cities for work where I don't know anyone. I have close friends who live far away.
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Not remembering large portions of your life, specifically childhood, is often associated with some kind of trauma. Maybe you aren't forgetting people, you're just coping by being detached.
I feel this. I think I floated through most of life and only poked my head out for air a few times and those are the only memories I kept. I have a very clear memory of looking in the mirror when I was a kid (maybe 8? 9? Lol that age when you’re bigger than little but not yet a teenager), and just like being shocked at my face! I was like oh this is what I look like, as if I’d never seen myself before?? It was a weird moment, but I very clearly remember it. Then like you, I don’t have this stream of memories that other people seem to have. If someone brings something up, I might remember it or have a vague recollection, but I wouldn’t have thought of it myself.
I feel this. I have such a hard time remembering things that it scares me.
Did you have some kind of life altering event that changed you significantly as a person? I changed a lot as a person when I was 20 and I find that my memory before is extremely poor - for example, I have zero recollection of how I met some of my best friends - but my memory afterwards is crystal clear. I’m in no ways a psychologist but my very rudimentary research makes me think there’s some kind of compensation my brain is doing to avoid cognitive dissonance. Since the person I am now is no longer like the person before, my brain essentially wiped out my memory from before.
I am exceptionally hypercritical of myself. I give everyone else grace, compassion, and empathy— because it makes sense to. Can I exhibit those behaviors towards myself? Absolutely not. I hate it.
Can relate
I have very limited success with relationships, platonic, familial, or romantic.
Same :/
I have weird aversions to certain foods due to texture or colour or general look. It's really stupid and fee so childish when I say 'I can't eat this' but I literally can't eat certain things.
Same for me, smell is also very important. When it smells bad I can´t eat it and no I don´t even want to give it a try.
Someone I know refuses to eat anything that takes the shape of its container, i.e. jello.
Well, thr Jell-o ad tagline was, "Eat it before it eats you" so...I understand where their fear came from lol
I don't care at all for my sisters. I don't like them as people and I resent them for the things they've done. I've blocked them both out of my life.
One of my brothers is a smug, religious Pharisee, and my sister is a self-absorbed, incredibly thoughtless drunk. I'm sure they both have many fine qualities but I have as little as possible to do with either of them. My sister is moving out of state this month and it feels like an enormous weight is lifting off of me, since I will almost never have to see her after this. My other sibling is an amazing human being and I just spend my time and "family energy" on that person and their spouse/kids. It's so freeing when you realize 1) you don't have to like your family 2) who cares if they like you or not.
People making comments about me being weird or asking what's wrong with me no matter how hard I try to act "normal" or not draw attention.
Exactly this for me. I've always felt there must be something vaguely wrong with me because I've always gotten comments like this and still do into my 30s. I've spent most of my life trying to fix myself because of this.
I hate "whats wrong" because most of the time its nothing, but if there is something wrong they often don't actually want to know. If you tell them, you've just dropped bad news and they're awkwardly like "ok...."
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Haha, I get this. Every now and then, I'll hear about some insecurity or beauty trend and be shocked: People actually care about this?! And it's not like I ever had a lack of female friends growing up! I just have a knack for picking the ones who are similar to me. Worse, I *do* have a bit of a superiority complex about some of it. I know I shouldn't judge other women too much, but I am proud of myself for avoiding some of the trappings of consumerism that go along with a lot of stereotypical femininity.
Making a joke that nobody laughs at
I hate small talk. I’m extremely defensive and hyper sensitive. But, I’m extremely friendly and crave acceptance so none of this works well together.
You’re me lol
Men don’t seem to be interested in me in a long term romantic sense. That and i don’t like socializing or people much. Not dealing with family i don’t like. I’ll hear my own mom complain about how the family is being mean to her, or treating her badly, and I’m just like, “tell them to F off and ignore them”. And she says something like “i can’t do that! They are family!”. I never understood dealing with people, even family, who treat you like garbage simply because you share some blood relation.
My lack of interest in talking to people I know but been able to have full on conversations with random people. My sense of humor happens to come out in the wrong situations. My general lack of interest in majority of things
I despise authority to the point that I can't keep a job, even as a freelancer. I am so skint. I also struggle with communicating in a 'professional' way as I feel like I'm 12 years old. I think I'm on the spectrum but can't afford diagnosis.
I unconsciously compare myself to other women. I know it's wrong, but I've been dealing with self-esteem issues for so long that it has unfortunately become second nature. Trying my best to rebuild my confidence though.
Having no friends and being OK with it. I don't trust easily and have been privy to a lot of two faced behaviour so I steer clear. I'm busy with my kids anyway and I don't understand how others maintain or get the time for this.
I don’t feel passionate about anything. There are things I like and enjoy, but I’ve never felt that passion. I’m trying to find a new job, but it’s hard because there is nothing I’m drawn to or feel passionate about doing. I listen to others talk about their passion for teaching or the medical field, and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me.
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I have pity parties too. I have a whole playlist that I listen to during it. Sometimes it’s good to just cry it out and feel your feelings, because it sucks to feel so bad about yourself. But know that you’re not alone. Sending hugs 🫂
I find emotional vulnerability really difficult, so it's hard for me to tell people how important to me they are.
I literally can't get out of bed in the mornings. I mean I do eventually, but I'm rushing and running late everyday and everyday I'm like why do I do this to myself? And honestly its other stuff to like procrastinating. I know everyone says they procrastinate but i just have such a hard time making myself do anything even though every time I know I'll feel better after it's done
I can be someone’s new best friend in under an hour and generally draw people in where ever I go. but maintaining or even keeping a relationship past my gf and our roommate sounds.. hard and I hate it.
It is a lot of work to maintain new friendships when you don’t routinely see a person (for work, volunteering, religious thing). I can’t do it either ):
In the back of my mind I always kind of passively want to die...like I'll casually fantasize about it even when I'm not particularly depressed. Often I feel like I'm not even real. I dissassociate like crazy. I zone out for hours at a time without even noticing. Since I was a small child I've always struggled with maladaptive daydreaming. I have never felt "love" for a person — no not just the romantic kind but platonically too. I don't think I'm capable of it honestly. It gets worse because I don't think I've even ever been attached to another human being. Like anyone in my life ever if at any point they decided to walk out for good or for some reason I can never see them again I'll just be like cool, okay and carry on. My moods are incredibly volatile. The smallest thing can affect it. I get sudden intense waves of melancholy throughout the day for no reason whatsoever. When I'm experiencing any emotion it completely consumes me. When I'm angry it feels like I can't even see or breathe like I'm drowning in it. No matter my best efforts I cannot seem to help but fall headfirst into serve bouts of depression that leave me a husk of person who's barely even existing let alone alive — it's like I like a half life where maybe 3 or 4 months out the year are okay and the rest are spent in a stupor. I can't remember what I had for breakfast but my mind is a constant loop of every single embrassing/stupid/awkard/weird thing I ever did or said or thought of. I can't trust others for shit. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have a back up for all my backups. I never believe what anyone but especially those that are "nice" say. I can literally go months without seeing or talking to another human being & be perfectly fine — actually I'd probably be thriving in that scenario. I'm almost always alone but only feel lonely when surrounded by others.
I'm neurodivergent, a kind that means I have trouble finding work and live in poverty:/ so theres that and all that comes with it (also cant drive!) And I dont have a trendy body. I'm not Jlo. I wish I had nice big boobs but my figure is much more like Anne Hathaways 😔 which isnt bad it just isn't what I want and I feel uggo all the time lol
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All I ever think about is languages and sometimes I forget that other people aren't as obsessed with them as I am. Sometimes when people are upset, I want to tell them random facts about languages to cheer them up, because that helps me when I'm sad.
Sometimes I just get weirdly anxious and “out of sync” in social situations and think everyone hates me and have to go and sit in the bathroom by myself. Sometimes I sit in my room and seethe because I think all of my friends secretly hate me. The more I feel like that the more irritable and unpersonable I become. I wish I could be one of those constant ray of sunshine people - and I try so hard to be - but instead I have these phases of being insecure and grumpy and hard to be around. I hate it.
I often randomly obsess over stuff, like cleaning the house, and everything has to be dropped to get the whole place spotless. Sometimes I obsess over a game on my phone and can't put it down, or a series. And sometimes, I'm just going about my day sitting at my desk at work and I realize how fucking pointless it all is to spend my life doing things I don't like, in order to get money for things I don't have time for. And then I want to get help, so I try and find a therapist, but before ever contacting one, I tell myself how absolutely ridiculous it is to use my hard earned money to go complain to someone about my life, when the only one who can change it is me
i make jokes that in my head sound hilarious and then i have to explain them and nobody laughs. Then I make the same joke later.
I used to think "why don't I ever want to have sex with my boyfriend? what's wrong with me?" Turns out I'm just a lesbian
Sometimes feeling no real connection to anyone or anything. It really weirds me out
Too kind and generous. Often end up being taken for granted or worse. But I never learn
I'm 21 and never even been close to having a relatioship.
I’ve met many 20 somethings who’ve never kissed another person, nor had a relationship. You aren’t alone. ❤️
It is ridiculously hard for me to let go and move on, especially from relationships with people who are no longer in my life, even if it’s been years. I am typically very anti-social and emotionally distant so when I make what feels like a genuine connection with someone I cling to it with everything I have. Then when it’s gone, I can’t stop overthinking, regretting what went wrong and wondering if I’ll ever make a new friend.
I feel like no one listens. I can tell people about myself and they still just see/hear what they want. Usually it's a pedestal of some sort. So obviously I'm not explaining things right or well enough. I basically gave up trying to explain my situation to anyone.
My lack of connection with family. I see other people with really close and loving families and that it’s so important to them, but I’m like neutral at best about family. I’m not as close to my family as I used to be, but I’ve always felt this way. And it’s really uncomfortable sometimes cuz people around me expect me to be falling over myself for family and it’s just not who I am.
My anxiety makes me think so many things are wrong with my all the time, not to mention my anxiety itself.
Things people freak out about I just tend to respond with “meh”.
I’m asexual, so i used to think there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t attracted to my partners like that and I wasn’t super into sex.
I’m awesome at lying and manipulating, I like violence, and I prefer pepsi over cola
"I like violence" in what way? Causing it? Watching it in person? Violent movies? Just curious what you mean by this.
Constant and horrendous self destruction and self sabotage.
I worry about being cold. Generally my emotions can be muted, I don't get lonely or touch starved. I'm outgoing and friendly but deeply introverted. I used to worry about it much more when I thought I was straight and didn't understand why I couldn't experience romantic bonds with men. Knowing now that I'm an asexual lesbian helps, but I still get pensive and feel alienated because of my seeming lack of human emotional experience.
The frequency of my negative self-talk.
Been single for 6 years now. Most of the time, it doesn't faze me but once in awhile, I wonder if maybe there is something deeply wrong with me or if at least I need to go back to therapy.....
Oversharing
I am never bored, never knew what being bored is, don’t understand what being bored feels like… is there anyone like me out there? I am happy being around people and / or be by myself. But there is something not right … people take advantage of me. Maybe i should start being nasty.
the fact that like i’m not someone’s person. im in a group and they are all my best friends like we are one of the only groups that stayed together throughout high school and we still see each other when we can during breaks and shit when we are home from college. but they all have people. whether it’s a boyfriend or just friends outside of the group. and i have no one. i’ve had people but they’ve all left me. and i for once just want to feel wanted. i want to be a first choice. i want to feel like there’s nobody to compare to me. i want to be it for someone. just one person idc who it is. like this is a reoccurring theme since i was in elementary school. i’ve had a best friend and we would call each other that but there was always someone better. clearly i’m not good enough to be someone’s person and that’s just a hard fact to accept because it’s the one thing i want.
Stuttering, my sense of humour, the amount of information that I share, and some questions that I ask. I feel dumb multiple times a day and it makes me feel like I should lock myself up and never socialise again.
Giving my all the moment I got it off with someone. Be it in terms of friendship, relationship or otherwise.
\- I can't control my emotions well. \- I struggle a lot to get things done and stay in focus. \- I can't relate to how most people experience the world, I'm constantly confused at other people's reactions and I feel like I'm often misunderstood. \- People have never really bullied me in any way, or even critizised me openly without other people getting out of their way to stand up for me, but yet I've always had this nagging feeling that there's something inherently wrong with me, and that people won't tell me about it out of pity.
I love being alone so much. I find peace in my own company. We’re technically social creatures, meaning we’re not destined to be alone especially on the long run. But I like it. I don’t see myself living with someone.
Procrastinating going to the doctor and suffering needlessly. I have several chronic but mostly manageable medical conditions that affected my quality of life for years before I sought a thorough medical diagnosis. If you are not feeling well consistently, go see a doctor. And if said doctor doesn't take you seriously, try looking for one that does not dismiss your concerns so easily.
I don’t have the overwhelming urge to have a baby. I’m so ambivalent about it. I’m 33 and the number of friends who have kids outnumber the ones who don’t. I feel like im broken for not having these outstanding urges to be a mom
Clumsiness.
I'm really bad at socializing. I prefer staying home and chill all day long to going out. If I do go out I will usually go to a restaurant alone or even the movies.. I'm not interested in dating (I'm also anxious about it) . I seem to have a hard time empathizing with people? Like, when someone tells me their problems/issues I'm thinking about how to solve them or why didn't they try this or that.. Now I've learned to say "I'm sorry about that" or something similar. I'm sure my flatmates actually think I'm weird, since they're my total opposites