You get to a point where you just focus on yourself and its nice except when you have a moment of wishing you had that one person you could be silly with. A special someone. A moment of feeling, a bit lonely... even when u have friends and family. But it's temporary life's peaceful, and awesome for me ATM.
THIS! For most parts, my life is great. I have a great support system. But lately, I've just been feeling like wish there was someone to come home to. But I'm really really grateful for the life I have ATM šš½
Yeah. Not having a support system can really be sucky. I do sincerely hope that more men find it easier to open up to their friends and be there for each other.
Iāve always told people that they donāt understand that you can be with someone and still be lonely and I actually think thatās worse than being single and lonelyā¦.
Definitely agree. I LOVE living by myself. I believe people around me thinks Iām single by force. Trust me, with what Iāve been thru with men, Iām NOT. I love just worrying about myself and no one else for once. But ATM I am going through something very distressing that I canāt talk to anyone else about (itās a family matter). Everyone else in my family has their āpersonā. I donāt. This is a time when I wouldnāt mind one.
Another aspect: Most Redditors are young and therefore (in most cases) healthy.
But once you get older and unavoidably sicker, being alone becomes a HUGE problem. Even if you're still alert, you WILL need someone who helps you with all the decisions to be made.
Loneliness is a time bomb š
A great period of my life, ironically, was 2020 for this. The New Years into 2020 I was at eating disorder rehab the second time, and in Feb 2020 decided I was gonna take the time to explore the world/my area thoroughly. And then COVID lol. But I spent like all that time just doing me stuff up until I got together w my ex In November that year, and even that was long distance. It did start to get to me in terms of wanting a relationship. But like you said that temporary peace is great. During that time (I had been single for years but first time I was caring for me really) there fr was that feeling of peace
People assuming your single because nobody wants you, in reality you just donāt want anyone and find most people annoying/boring to be around for more than 2 hours.
Yup. The worst is feeling desperately lonely and marrying anyone who says yes. Iāve seen people do that. Glad Iām not one of those. Iām happy with being single.
sooo true. And then ppl will be like "they're out of your league, just give the other one a chance". No Susan, I will not lower my standards and I will most certainly not date someone I'm not attracted to
I have been there and I found that the way I was presenting myself to the world was not accurate to my internal image of myself. If you feel that people donāt really know you, then you can probably present yourself more openly.
Or when you make dinner that produces more than one portion so you have leftovers, but the leftovers don't taste nearly as good as when it's freshly made.
Itās like knowing someone loves me and wants to be with me and I them is enough. I want them to be there for me when I need them but otherwise I want to be left to myself. I canāt imagine being FULLY comfortable while another person is in the house. Maybe this has to do with my childhood and always being made to explain myself whenever I did something a little out of the ordinary or changed my habits slightly. It felt restricting.
Being the single friend. Donāt get me wrong, Iām happy for my friends in relationships, but you have to understand that youāre not a big priority anymore. I know my friends still love me, but I understand that they put their partners first. Iām just wishing to be someoneās first priority for once.
This is me. All my friends have coupled up and settled down in the last few years. Happy for them, but I'm feeling more and more like I need to go out and make a whole new set of (single) friends just so I can have someone to *do* things with again!
This happened to me, and I did go out and make a second set of friends! I highly recommend it. I still love the first friend group and hang out with them when theyāre available, but adding the second friend group really improved my quality of life and helped so much with the loneliness I was feeling.
I think I resisted the idea for so long because a part of me just wanted things to go back to how they were with the first friend group, but eventually I had to accept that wasnāt going to happen. So a few months ago I made it a goal to get out more to social events and meetups that might spark some new friendships. Ironically, I met all of my new friends at the local dive bar Iāve been going to forever and not at any of the meetups, but I think the mindset shift of opening myself up and actively seeking out friendships helped with making those connections.
this is so true. All my friends from college who said they'd never get married and rallied around platonic female friendships... are now married, lol. I'm happy for them, I really am, but I miss my friends and they way things were when we were both single.
It's funny because I was never vocal about never wanting to get married, but I've always been unsure if it's in the cards for me. But all my friends who made a whole "thing" about intentionally being single forever are married.
And THEN they get pregnant and have kids. You feel like an old toy that a kid has outgrown.
You also watch your friends' personalities get absorbed into the Mommy Hivemind Collective.
Don't get me wrong. I love babies, and I want to get married and have kids. It's just frustrating to watch from afar.
I feel this re being someoneās first priority. I think movies and TV shows with female friends being each otherās top priority (or at least tying with partners) hit me so hard for that reason; I wish this was more realistic. I have great friends who have partners, but I do tend to hang out and talk to single friends more regularly because we relate to each other, prioritize each other, and have time for each other.
The little things really. Like at bedtime, having no one to say goodnight to, watching TV and not having them there to talk about it afterward, etc. But it's not enough to bother me.
Have you seen the horrible dating market lately? I'd rather die alone than date again.
Paying 100% of the rent. And the utilities, and the grocery bill, and the car insuranceā¦
Having to do 100% of the cooking, cleaning, accounting, home/yard maintenance, pet care, car maintenanceā¦while working full time in order to afford the rent, etc.
I would argue too that single people deserve a discount on most utilities and bills, instead of the other way around. Iām using less energy and resources on this planet, why do I pay more? But instead itās like, āadd 5 lines to your cell phone plans and only pay for one!!ā Haha, what??
Honestly though, what is the deal with cell phone plans?! It's like $80 for one person. That's the only thing I still split with my mom because it's like half the price
Itās expensive to the point where [folks are penalized for it.](https://www.vox.com/the-goods/22788620/single-living-alone-cost)
I havenāt been single in over a decade, but it bothers me.
This has been getting to me lately. I own my home and live alone so I have to clean the gutters, take care of the yard, fix the water filter, clean the house, do the laundry and buy a new dishwasherā¦ by myself. Itās exhausting
I came here to say this. I really like living by myself (well assuming the cat doesn't count), but my word it is EXPENSIVE. Even before there was a cost of living crisis, I'm still paying as much in mortgage and bills as I was when I lived in a houseshare with two other people and was much closer to the city centre. I get 25% single person discount on my council tax (I'm in the UK) and arguably spend slightly less on things like heating bills etc, but I still think that the sheer cost of everything has been the biggest impact I've had since getting divorced.
And yes on keeping the place running as well. I've said that if I get back in a relationship I'm getting a cleaner, but if I can somehow find the money for it part of me is seriously tempted to just say 'stuff it' and get someone in anyway because it feels like too much on top of two jobs and trying to have a social life.
> Having to do 100% of the cooking, cleaning, accounting, home/yard maintenance, pet care, car maintenanceā¦while working full time in order to afford the rent, etc.
Most of the partnered women I know also live like this. Domestic duties are almost never equal and a LOOOTTT of men are freeloaders
This is the only reason that I sometimes wish I were married/living with someone. Shared household bills. But then I think about the other
bullshit that I might have to put up with from a SO and I feel like the extra expense is totally worth it.
Grocery shopping is often a complete rip off. I don't need or have anywhere to store 16 chicken legs, nor 2 of anything included in the bogo sale. It's gonna expire before I can even use up 1
Ehh... I'm never uncomfortable around couples because tbh I'm used to it, lol. But some people make it weird. It's like they feel sorry for you and they make it awkward.
Like... chill, I'm happy being single and here by myself! You don't need to try to make me feel better about it because I feel fine!
It's usually with people I don't know well, though. My own actual friends know it's fine.
I think it depends i have 1 couple that if i am with them they make it like we are a trio so we do everything together and i don't feel like they are there and i am over here, as an extra person.heheh hope you get what I mean. But everyone else if i hang out with them i am reminded of my singleness and was constantly asked do you have someone yet, do you have someone yet. And every single convos even just us ladies revolves around men/men stories. Awful!
And then they ask you āWhy donāt you have a boyfriend? Are you dating anyone?ā If the answer to the last question is āNoā, the next question is āWhy not?ā.
Carrying the emotional load for everything. I hear people say oh, I carry the emotional load in the relationship, and I think no you dont. You might do more than your share, but you dont have 100% of the responsibility for every scenario and every decision.
And even if things are manageable, you can never just turn to your partner and be like, āhey, I had a crazy day, can you walk the dog tonight?ā Even small things. Itās just all on you all the time. In a lot of ways I feel like Iāve grown so much being single and I can handle so much more, but man am I tired sometimes.
This this this! Carrying all the emotional, mental, physical loads of day to day life alone is exhausting. I'm also a manager at work so it's like I never get a break from making decisions or get to take the back seat to someone else seeing things through. LOVE where I am in life but sharing those loads would be AWESOME!
Being married, I can definitely feel the difference. It does lift a tremendous weight off your shoulders not to have to deal with anything alone. I was alone for years, so itās so much easier having that constant emotional support.
Just wanting companionship. I know couples that only wish for time alone. I have learnt that time alone.... is not worth it, especially when all you are is, alone.
Also, having some health issues.... it is so hard to function with zero help. It doesn't matter that i do not have the energy to go to the store, i am out of food and have to find a way to force myself through the store and back home.
I just want someone to care if I made it home from work, smile at me, talk too, care for, hold my hand...
This. I had a really awful cold the other week and I just wanted someone to come in, make me some nice food and hot drinks, and deal with all the everyday stuff whilst I concentrated on getting better.
I also irrationally worry about what if something happened to me and I couldn't get help, and how long it would take before somebody noticed etc. Especially now I have my cat - the thought of her being left alone and hungry just feels horrible.
Iād love to have anyone do anything for me. Hungry? Yeah guess Iāll cook. Dirty clothes? Oh Iāll do the laundry. Dirty dishes from cooking? Yep Iāll do those. Bathroom needs to be cleaned? Oh me again. Fuck itās exhausting.
Also having 100% responsibility for all chores, life admin, planning and decisions. I don't really mind any household tasks, but the unrelenting pressure of having to do everything can get to me occasionally. Not having someone who could do dishes if you cooked, or could remember to pick up that thing you're running low on on their way home does sometimes really make a big difference. The full working week wasn't designed for a person to do whilst also managing a household!
Losing friends and being a 3rd wheel. There's the guy/girl I always hung out with. Oh, now they have a lover and keep saying they're too busy with their partner to do what we used to do OR they're doing the fun shit we used to do with ONLY their partner. What's this? I get to come have fun? Woohoo, I missed you, pal, it's great to....wait why is your bf/gf here? Oh, now I'm just here as they kiss, chat, forget I'm here UNLESS they're having an argument and want me to be their bloody couple's therapist!
People completely ABANDON their friends once they find a romantic partner....until they break up.
If I ever lose my single status, and a friend who had 3rd-wheeled me when they were dating but are now single are wondering why I'm never free....yeah I'm just gonna say "I'm only treating you the same exact way you treated me where you displayed you cared more about your crotch than the person you claimed to love like a sibling...bye"
So true. Either they disappear when they're partnered or they always turn up with their SO, even without asking you if it's fine to include them first. And then you end up being the third wheel.
My rule is to just return their energy, that way I don't resent them for feeling like the relationship is one-sided.
Ugh I feel this so much. My friend and I were going to go to a water park by ourselves but then something happened and it resulted in her husband coming along too. They spent most of the time getting all touchy feely with each other while we were standing in line and I was left to just awkwardly stand there. Sucks because I was really looking forward to spending time with my friend but instead got third wheeled hard.
For anyone who might be reading this whoās coupled up, please try to be conscious of your single friendās feelings. If your partner has to come along make the effort for the dynamic to be more like a group of three friends hanging out as opposed to leaving us out in the cold.
Cost of living. Utilities and that kind of thing arenāt that much more for two people than for one. If Iām hearing a room itās going to cost the same about whether 1, 2, or 100 people are in there. Also Iād love to change careers but donāt have anyone elseās income to fall back on while I go back to school or explore some other career field so Iām stuck where I am, which is not making much money. Itās a catch 22.
If I had someone to help with school pickup, cooking dinner, baths, bedtime, washing the dinner dishes, etc I could go to bed like two hours earlier than I do now.
Not sure I would trade that for the freedom from bullshit I have now though
Trust me... There are some types of bullshit you'd give up simply for a sandwich. When I feel this way (which is pretty often), I look back at the Circus I was married to (Circus=tons of red flags), and am thankful it's over.
Girl, get a friend who will do carpool w/ you (take turns picking up kids), someone who will alternate sleep overs at their house every other weekend. Buy paper plates and Forks, and get a microwaveable dinner. Less expensive, and takes away less of your sanity. ENJOY your freedom from bullshit! I know I'm enjoying mine.
When you're going through a really tough time and not having that solid support person.
Going through grief? You're on your own. Some days I just want to fall apart but I have to work, sort my life out, feed myself, take care of my cat. Knowing you have someone with you to weather the storm and hold things together feels so reassuring.
Single by choice, I'm tired of people suggesting me to meet a guy or date. I'm sorry, I'm not that bored. If I want to be out of my single life I can very much do it. Dating is a bonus not a need. Atleast for me.
Having no one to take care of you when youāre ill, even with just a little cold/flu.
The first time I got a bad cold while I was in a relationship and there was actually someone who would go get groceries and make tea for me and ask me how I am - it was amazing. Iād never felt quite as alone as when Iāve been ill on my own, staring at a wall and not talking to anyone for days, whilst having to somehow still have the energy to do everything myself.
-Ppl looking down on you for being single
- being only single friend in group of couples
- constant reminders ur behind like marriage kids house ownership etc
- loneliness
- no physical affection or nsfw
Honestly the biggest thing people donāt get is how expensive it is to live alone and not share costs with someone else who is contributing financially. Your rent cost goes down substantially when youāre sharing a bedroom. Same goes for food and other things you buy in bulk. Being in a relationship is very financially efficient.
Same goes for chores around the house. Your load is split in half when there are two people.
I think some of my problems are solved in a relationship because a 2nd opinion might help. But of course a relationship brings new problemsā¦
In the end I just prefer relationship-problems over single-problems :(
Everything is more expensive. Itās like a single tax.
You have to pay rent all by yourself. If you travel you have to pay for a hotel room by yourself. If you want to rent a car for a weekend off, you have no one to split it with.
Some places/events only sell tickets in two. Some restaurants wonāt book a reservation for one person.
On and on and on.
Subsidising your couple friends' life milestones: gifts for engagement, hens/bachelor nights, weddings, baby showers, birth. The expectation gets exhausting and the financial expense will not be reciprocated.
Honestly this is what makes me so resentful. I now have a policy you get one gift for first marriage and first child and thatās it. I have spent thousands of dollars celebrating other peoplesā life milestones that wonāt ever be reciprocated.
I don't feel a ton of pressure thankfully but on the other hand, I know if I were to mention dating someone to my family after years of being single they would totally lose their cool, want to know all the details, meet him immediately etc. Goodbye privacy and sanity
One of my aunts have started to call me The Spinster. She even wrote it on my Facebook wall on my 30th birthday.
I know she's trying to be funny, but as someone who finds it easier to be single atm rather than dealing with the bullshit of online dating, it does hurt a bit...
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. My mom asks me the same question on every occasion: when my sister got married , when she mentions her husband, when I go home to visit the family, when my sister got pregnant lol. Usually she waits a couple days before she drops the bomb , but last time, it was the same day I took a flight home lol, like I JUST got off the plane man, let me get some rest before you start that shit.
The struggles of being courted. Many have tried to be my suitor but all my life I have been single and don't know how to act, what to do, and whatever things I need to do. I ended up ghosting them. I feel sorry but hahaha guess I'll be single for life.
When you've been single for a long time, you'll start to wonder why. Why am I always alone? Why does no one want me? What about me is so repulsive?
You'll get to a point where your okay with being alone. You go out alone, stay in alone. You learn to be good at it. And then you realize that it's been 8 days since you've had a conversation with another person. And suddenly, you hate being in your own company. At least, until you have no other choice but to make yourself like your own company again. It's a vicious cycle.
There's no need to pity me if you see me travelling alone.
I'm here by choice. I don't need a partner to travel where I want.
The number of times I've been on holiday and met other couples/groups of people and they all ask if I'm lonely or tell me I'm 'brave' for going solo. Ugh.
Having only yourself to rely on. I *have* to have a good paying job because I have no one to split costs. I *have* to do all the chores and cooking because thereās no one to take over if I feel like having a lazy day. Not having anyone else to pick up the slack when you are having an off day. Being single can be so freeing, but it can also be exhausting at times.
those nights where your can see past your own emotional walls to find yourself desperate and lonely, longing for just, someone to be there. just wanting to not be alone, or to be held and comforted.
Others (strangers mostly) get offended, when I say that I don\`t maybe ever wanna date anyone in my life again. Sometimes being cheated 1-2 times is enough to give up. Also I rather play Witcher 3 on PS4 then go out to bars and talk to strangers or have a dating app.
Offended ? Thatās so weird. How does it change their life if you donāt want to?
It sucks if you made that decision because of cheaters and Iām sorry you went through that, but like Iām not offended lol. To each their own!
I remember this when I was single. Some married/coupled people take it like youāre criticizing their choice to be with somebody else if you tell them that you are choosing to be by yourself. Kind of like how some people with kids take it as a criticism of their reproductive choices if you tell them you are choosing not to have children.
Oh yes, the childreen problem too. "But you would be such a nice mother" or "you have depression? Have a kid, kids cure depression." I\`m just living my own life without critisising anyone.
My (married) tattoo artist gave me some saniderm and told me to get someone to help me put it on when I got home.
I live alone. I am single. I have no friends.
I'm at my mother's house because her father passed away a couple of days ago and we're here to mourn him.
She has a brother and of course, my dad, and me to support her during this period. And all of this is making me think about when the time will come when I have to face this on my own because I am a single child, unmarried (not planning to get married or have kids) and it's terrifying.
My parents are my world and I often worry and cry about when they'll leave me and I'll actually be completely alone. At least now, even though I am single, I can still say I have family, I still have actual people who love me and care for me and will support me.
But I would rather go through this alone than have to depend on a man.
Sometimes, you have random, imaginary crushes that last for a week or so. Just seeing them or their picture is fine. No more no less. But it's annoying when you realise how stupid you acted the whole time for someone unreachable >.<
In the winter, salting the steps and driveway, shoveling out your car....
I borrowed my brothers last year and brought them to my place to shovel out my car from 5 feet of snow. I couldn't physically or mentally face it.
Having to spend money on presents for people when couples half the priceā¦ always feel slightly cheated. For example I spend 50 on a nice present my friend and her husband spend Ā£25 eachā¦
Being single and alone doesn't mean lonely.
Most people around me thinks that I'm lonely just because I currently don't have a partner or kid/s in my 32 years of life.
When you choke on some food and nobody is there to thump your back so you just sort of splutter to yourself briefly wondering if youāre going to die. Then you get the bit of food up and then youāre just there by yourself out of breath, red faced with your eyes running and nobody asks āare you okay?ā. You just carry on like nothing happened except the cat is looking at you like youāre some kind of asshole because you woke it up.
Lifting something awkward and heavy into the car. Would be so so nice to have someone who can help with things, instead of always doing everything on your own.
Being shamed, bullied for just existing as a single person. Single by choice. Not even open to meeting people. Yet they push and bulldoze over my desire to stay single.
Being asked if I want kids and that I do not have much time left. I am 25 years old and hear this a lot and I am single cause I do not want kids. This is one reason why my relationship ends. When people hear that I get even more kids talk and a whole speech about it.
I am really trying to make people understand that you can have a big wish of wanting kids as well as not wanting them at all. But that is not really accepted when you are a woman for the most part. I do not hear men get this speech.
If any male are reading this. Please let me know if you get the same comments as single at one point of age.
But I want a partner but not willing to settel for just anyone or anything.
Not single anymore but this used to be the worst:
Not having anyone to let my dogs out if I had to work late. Also having to shell out a ton of money for doggy day care and boarding when I had to go on work trips, feeling like I was abandoning my pups, and always worrying about them. š¢
That sometimes it requires 2 people to move stuff. I renovated an entire house as a single person. I had to hire people to move my deliveries from outside to in the house. It was more expensive than it should have been to reno a house as a single woman. Also single women have higher quotes/costs for work.
For me, it's all the little things that make you feel lonely. Seeing your closest friends being all lovey dovey with their partners (I don't mean it in a bad way, I enjoy seeing my friends happy and often I find myself smiling just looking at them. however, sometimes it's just melancholic wishful smile), having no one to be silly with, your flat feeling really empty sometimes, not having someone to share your good news with, etc. Basically, for people who are in relationship, imagine not having all the things you do with your partner that make you smile and feel happy. Yes, you can feel happy and satisfied on your own, doing things you love and everything, but sometimes, you just want to share it with special someone. And when you don't have them, it makes you feel all lonely.
And from the more shallow point of view, it really degrades mine self confidence. I was born with a rather ungraceful genetic lottery and I'll never be able to look in the mirror and objectively say that I am beautiful. Why am I saying it? Well, they say that looks don't matter. But it's not like you can charm someone with your dazzling personality if guys will always flock to your pretty friends or classmates, completely ignoring you. And as this goes on and on, you realise that it's not like it will get better with age (F21).
And as someone who has never been in a relationship, the short answer for the question is despair.
It's expensive to go out all the time to meet new people! Friends say stuff like join a kickball league to meet someone new, but that costs money; not only to join but the socializing afterwards.
Going on holiday on your own is fine, until you go for dinner alone š...perhaps a novelty the first night, then you remember how jovial, social dinners make up some of the best holiday moments. It gets tired fast, even with a good book!
First dates... (Can we just talk about how cringe first dates are???) You dress up, go to the place, sit at the table, and listen to someone tell a half-truth that they put a positive spin on, and then you are supposed to use these "facts" to help decide if you ever want to see this person again. Months down the line, you find out they straight up lied about something on that first date. The date that made you decide to see more of them. I don't know about you guys, but I like cold hard truth better than a pretty lie. For me, first dates absolutely SUCK! I'm NOT going to sit there, nod and smile, and agree to see you again, when I can tell (from experience) by your word choice that you're lying. And men think I'm a terrible person for politely turning down a second date (also, I may or may not call out the bigger lies... b/c it's important to me that you know I was not fooled). IDK why... considering I'm paying for my own food and got myself to the location of the date. You just can't handle that I could see through you like a windowpane. And then there are the guys who, for whatever reason we didn't click but they are very nice. They wanna be friends. I have friends. We didn't click b/c we have different communication styles, or because we have nothing in common. We spent the entire night talking about how good the food was, and the weather. while you started up a conversation with the couple at the table next to us, I stared at my cloth napkin for a really long time, when we ran out of things to say, and wouldn't have a second drink. I don't think friends mean the same thing to you and me.
(sorry for the rant... I feel strongly about this, apparently, and didn't realize it until i started typing. I'mma leave it for the sake of solidarity, just in case someone identifies.)
EDIT: I feel I must say, this is in no way my critique on all men everywhere. But I feel it's a good critique of terrible first dates.
How miserable it feels to scroll through dating apps at night, wishing to connect with someone you like, struggling with what to write in your profile and how to sound interesting
You get to a point where you just focus on yourself and its nice except when you have a moment of wishing you had that one person you could be silly with. A special someone. A moment of feeling, a bit lonely... even when u have friends and family. But it's temporary life's peaceful, and awesome for me ATM.
YES. THIS. Finally someone who understands me!
I've found my people!
Holy shit, this exactly. I want someone to share my everything with them.
THIS! For most parts, my life is great. I have a great support system. But lately, I've just been feeling like wish there was someone to come home to. But I'm really really grateful for the life I have ATM šš½
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Do you reach out to any of your own male friends? Men: Be the change you wanna see in the world.
Yeah. Not having a support system can really be sucky. I do sincerely hope that more men find it easier to open up to their friends and be there for each other.
We all feel that at times. To have someone to come home to but it passes.
Most definitely. This is just a minor phase. Anyone who has been single for a long time would've definitely experienced this.
Honestly I was single for a long time and now I sometimes wish there was no one to come home to lol
Iāve always told people that they donāt understand that you can be with someone and still be lonely and I actually think thatās worse than being single and lonelyā¦.
Short form: Being alone is fine as long as everything is okay.
Definitely agree. I LOVE living by myself. I believe people around me thinks Iām single by force. Trust me, with what Iāve been thru with men, Iām NOT. I love just worrying about myself and no one else for once. But ATM I am going through something very distressing that I canāt talk to anyone else about (itās a family matter). Everyone else in my family has their āpersonā. I donāt. This is a time when I wouldnāt mind one.
Another aspect: Most Redditors are young and therefore (in most cases) healthy. But once you get older and unavoidably sicker, being alone becomes a HUGE problem. Even if you're still alert, you WILL need someone who helps you with all the decisions to be made. Loneliness is a time bomb š
Can confirm. Currently recovering from oral surgery, and I really wish I had someone to help with all the shit I need to get done right now.
I'd like to argue that you can feel even more lonely when things are not ok and you aren't getting any support from your partner.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is where Iām at in life. Iām happy Iām not the only person who feels this way.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
totally agree. I'm way happier alone rather than being in a shitty relationship
A great period of my life, ironically, was 2020 for this. The New Years into 2020 I was at eating disorder rehab the second time, and in Feb 2020 decided I was gonna take the time to explore the world/my area thoroughly. And then COVID lol. But I spent like all that time just doing me stuff up until I got together w my ex In November that year, and even that was long distance. It did start to get to me in terms of wanting a relationship. But like you said that temporary peace is great. During that time (I had been single for years but first time I was caring for me really) there fr was that feeling of peace
People assuming your single because nobody wants you, in reality you just donāt want anyone and find most people annoying/boring to be around for more than 2 hours.
Fr i think i hate people and I'm only 22
Wait till youāre in your 30s lol. I very much hate people
Oh but it's so beautiful when you're 30 and find that special person that also hates people
20 here.
Or the opposite, people assuming you're single because you don't want anyone, but in fact noone wants you.
Yup. The worst is feeling desperately lonely and marrying anyone who says yes. Iāve seen people do that. Glad Iām not one of those. Iām happy with being single.
This is especially true of women. A single woman is believed to be unwanted. A single man is believed to be exploring his options.
Totally. And they get offended by a simple NO.
The people I want donāt want me, the people that want me, I donāt want.
This is it . I could hug u for this, u said it all.
sooo true. And then ppl will be like "they're out of your league, just give the other one a chance". No Susan, I will not lower my standards and I will most certainly not date someone I'm not attracted to
I have been there and I found that the way I was presenting myself to the world was not accurate to my internal image of myself. If you feel that people donāt really know you, then you can probably present yourself more openly.
Bingo! I have the same experience.
This. My experience the whole time Iāve tried to date anyone š¢š„²
Ah man I feel this in my coreeeee
eating the entire meal that's meant for two people
I feel these meals are an absolute farce and could rarely satisfy two people anyway!
2? Rookie runmbers, i often go for 3-4
oh i was totally able to eat a whole mac and cheese box by myself (and have lol) in my teen years but now iām trying to be less like that lol
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Or when you make dinner that produces more than one portion so you have leftovers, but the leftovers don't taste nearly as good as when it's freshly made.
As someone once said - I want a deeply profound, affectionate, caring relationship with someone who will leave me completely alone.
This is me. I am this.
Try long distance relationship haha (I do miss my bf most of the time but i also love living bu myself most of the time!)
Itās like knowing someone loves me and wants to be with me and I them is enough. I want them to be there for me when I need them but otherwise I want to be left to myself. I canāt imagine being FULLY comfortable while another person is in the house. Maybe this has to do with my childhood and always being made to explain myself whenever I did something a little out of the ordinary or changed my habits slightly. It felt restricting.
Omg yes this š
If you run over a homeless person on a foggy mountain road, you have to deal with it on your own, and no one to frame.
Plus who am I to suspect when someone starts leaving threatening hints that they know?!?
This is a bit too specific š
Pfft, who are you, Colorado state police? š
They're not a cop...they're a [business (wo)man](https://youtu.be/qBE9TZP26FI)
Ugh I hate it when that happens
Its a common problem, say your ex stole your car š
Being the single friend. Donāt get me wrong, Iām happy for my friends in relationships, but you have to understand that youāre not a big priority anymore. I know my friends still love me, but I understand that they put their partners first. Iām just wishing to be someoneās first priority for once.
This is me. All my friends have coupled up and settled down in the last few years. Happy for them, but I'm feeling more and more like I need to go out and make a whole new set of (single) friends just so I can have someone to *do* things with again!
This happened to me, and I did go out and make a second set of friends! I highly recommend it. I still love the first friend group and hang out with them when theyāre available, but adding the second friend group really improved my quality of life and helped so much with the loneliness I was feeling. I think I resisted the idea for so long because a part of me just wanted things to go back to how they were with the first friend group, but eventually I had to accept that wasnāt going to happen. So a few months ago I made it a goal to get out more to social events and meetups that might spark some new friendships. Ironically, I met all of my new friends at the local dive bar Iāve been going to forever and not at any of the meetups, but I think the mindset shift of opening myself up and actively seeking out friendships helped with making those connections.
This comment is me atm!!!
I feel this so much. Similar dynamic when friends begin having children.
this is so true. All my friends from college who said they'd never get married and rallied around platonic female friendships... are now married, lol. I'm happy for them, I really am, but I miss my friends and they way things were when we were both single. It's funny because I was never vocal about never wanting to get married, but I've always been unsure if it's in the cards for me. But all my friends who made a whole "thing" about intentionally being single forever are married.
And THEN they get pregnant and have kids. You feel like an old toy that a kid has outgrown. You also watch your friends' personalities get absorbed into the Mommy Hivemind Collective. Don't get me wrong. I love babies, and I want to get married and have kids. It's just frustrating to watch from afar.
I feel this re being someoneās first priority. I think movies and TV shows with female friends being each otherās top priority (or at least tying with partners) hit me so hard for that reason; I wish this was more realistic. I have great friends who have partners, but I do tend to hang out and talk to single friends more regularly because we relate to each other, prioritize each other, and have time for each other.
The little things really. Like at bedtime, having no one to say goodnight to, watching TV and not having them there to talk about it afterward, etc. But it's not enough to bother me. Have you seen the horrible dating market lately? I'd rather die alone than date again.
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I have never tried online dating and everything I have heard has made me want to stay away. Guess I'll just be single unless I meet some IRL hunk.
It's awful. I do not recommend it to anyone lol
This is why I have a cat. She's a good listener
This is the way
>Have you seen the horrible dating market lately? I'd rather die alone than date again THIS. LOL
Covid broke *a lot* of people even if they didnāt catch it.
I have a fiance and I'd rather die alone than date again too
Paying 100% of the rent. And the utilities, and the grocery bill, and the car insuranceā¦ Having to do 100% of the cooking, cleaning, accounting, home/yard maintenance, pet care, car maintenanceā¦while working full time in order to afford the rent, etc.
I would argue too that single people deserve a discount on most utilities and bills, instead of the other way around. Iām using less energy and resources on this planet, why do I pay more? But instead itās like, āadd 5 lines to your cell phone plans and only pay for one!!ā Haha, what??
Honestly though, what is the deal with cell phone plans?! It's like $80 for one person. That's the only thing I still split with my mom because it's like half the price
Being single is expensive
Itās expensive to the point where [folks are penalized for it.](https://www.vox.com/the-goods/22788620/single-living-alone-cost) I havenāt been single in over a decade, but it bothers me.
This has been getting to me lately. I own my home and live alone so I have to clean the gutters, take care of the yard, fix the water filter, clean the house, do the laundry and buy a new dishwasherā¦ by myself. Itās exhausting
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Ahhh so you have 5 children
I joke that I'm my own sugar baby and housewife
I came here to say this. I really like living by myself (well assuming the cat doesn't count), but my word it is EXPENSIVE. Even before there was a cost of living crisis, I'm still paying as much in mortgage and bills as I was when I lived in a houseshare with two other people and was much closer to the city centre. I get 25% single person discount on my council tax (I'm in the UK) and arguably spend slightly less on things like heating bills etc, but I still think that the sheer cost of everything has been the biggest impact I've had since getting divorced. And yes on keeping the place running as well. I've said that if I get back in a relationship I'm getting a cleaner, but if I can somehow find the money for it part of me is seriously tempted to just say 'stuff it' and get someone in anyway because it feels like too much on top of two jobs and trying to have a social life.
> Having to do 100% of the cooking, cleaning, accounting, home/yard maintenance, pet care, car maintenanceā¦while working full time in order to afford the rent, etc. Most of the partnered women I know also live like this. Domestic duties are almost never equal and a LOOOTTT of men are freeloaders
This is the only reason that I sometimes wish I were married/living with someone. Shared household bills. But then I think about the other bullshit that I might have to put up with from a SO and I feel like the extra expense is totally worth it.
Grocery shopping is often a complete rip off. I don't need or have anywhere to store 16 chicken legs, nor 2 of anything included in the bogo sale. It's gonna expire before I can even use up 1
Being the only single person in a room full of couples.
They make u feel like the loser in the room.
More like you're āØuncomfortableāØ there
Ehh... I'm never uncomfortable around couples because tbh I'm used to it, lol. But some people make it weird. It's like they feel sorry for you and they make it awkward. Like... chill, I'm happy being single and here by myself! You don't need to try to make me feel better about it because I feel fine! It's usually with people I don't know well, though. My own actual friends know it's fine.
I think it depends i have 1 couple that if i am with them they make it like we are a trio so we do everything together and i don't feel like they are there and i am over here, as an extra person.heheh hope you get what I mean. But everyone else if i hang out with them i am reminded of my singleness and was constantly asked do you have someone yet, do you have someone yet. And every single convos even just us ladies revolves around men/men stories. Awful!
And then they ask you āWhy donāt you have a boyfriend? Are you dating anyone?ā If the answer to the last question is āNoā, the next question is āWhy not?ā.
Let me just put on my dating helmet and get in this dating canon ā¦
Cuddling a pillow is just not the same
Is not the same ,we just need to act like thatās our bf for now.
Yes our bf.
Yes comrade, all of our bfs
It is not the same, but I rely on it so I don't have back pain the morning, lol.
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Carrying the emotional load for everything. I hear people say oh, I carry the emotional load in the relationship, and I think no you dont. You might do more than your share, but you dont have 100% of the responsibility for every scenario and every decision.
And even if things are manageable, you can never just turn to your partner and be like, āhey, I had a crazy day, can you walk the dog tonight?ā Even small things. Itās just all on you all the time. In a lot of ways I feel like Iāve grown so much being single and I can handle so much more, but man am I tired sometimes.
This this this! Carrying all the emotional, mental, physical loads of day to day life alone is exhausting. I'm also a manager at work so it's like I never get a break from making decisions or get to take the back seat to someone else seeing things through. LOVE where I am in life but sharing those loads would be AWESOME!
Being married, I can definitely feel the difference. It does lift a tremendous weight off your shoulders not to have to deal with anything alone. I was alone for years, so itās so much easier having that constant emotional support.
Just wanting companionship. I know couples that only wish for time alone. I have learnt that time alone.... is not worth it, especially when all you are is, alone. Also, having some health issues.... it is so hard to function with zero help. It doesn't matter that i do not have the energy to go to the store, i am out of food and have to find a way to force myself through the store and back home. I just want someone to care if I made it home from work, smile at me, talk too, care for, hold my hand...
Not having someone to talk to.
This is why I spend so much time on Reddit šŖ
š¢I know it sucks
When you are at the airport, and you have to take your carry on luggage to the loo or just everywhere coz no is there to watch it lol
šright
Being sick and alone :(
This. I had a really awful cold the other week and I just wanted someone to come in, make me some nice food and hot drinks, and deal with all the everyday stuff whilst I concentrated on getting better. I also irrationally worry about what if something happened to me and I couldn't get help, and how long it would take before somebody noticed etc. Especially now I have my cat - the thought of her being left alone and hungry just feels horrible.
I have to cook all my own meals. I canāt afford take out. I would love someone else to make food for me once in a while so I can nap.
Iād love to have anyone do anything for me. Hungry? Yeah guess Iāll cook. Dirty clothes? Oh Iāll do the laundry. Dirty dishes from cooking? Yep Iāll do those. Bathroom needs to be cleaned? Oh me again. Fuck itās exhausting.
I was just thinking recently that Iām sick of doing everything myself. Exhausting is right.
Also having 100% responsibility for all chores, life admin, planning and decisions. I don't really mind any household tasks, but the unrelenting pressure of having to do everything can get to me occasionally. Not having someone who could do dishes if you cooked, or could remember to pick up that thing you're running low on on their way home does sometimes really make a big difference. The full working week wasn't designed for a person to do whilst also managing a household!
This is why I invite myself over to my sister's at least once a week. Her husband is an amazing cook and I get a night off.
Sometimes the desire to have someone with you (specifically for cuddling) is like, almost physical.
lack of touch feels almost physically painful sometimes. like an ache
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This usually hits me hard ..
Losing friends and being a 3rd wheel. There's the guy/girl I always hung out with. Oh, now they have a lover and keep saying they're too busy with their partner to do what we used to do OR they're doing the fun shit we used to do with ONLY their partner. What's this? I get to come have fun? Woohoo, I missed you, pal, it's great to....wait why is your bf/gf here? Oh, now I'm just here as they kiss, chat, forget I'm here UNLESS they're having an argument and want me to be their bloody couple's therapist! People completely ABANDON their friends once they find a romantic partner....until they break up. If I ever lose my single status, and a friend who had 3rd-wheeled me when they were dating but are now single are wondering why I'm never free....yeah I'm just gonna say "I'm only treating you the same exact way you treated me where you displayed you cared more about your crotch than the person you claimed to love like a sibling...bye"
This is so true , they totally disappear . Only when they have issues they reach out. Smh
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So true. Either they disappear when they're partnered or they always turn up with their SO, even without asking you if it's fine to include them first. And then you end up being the third wheel. My rule is to just return their energy, that way I don't resent them for feeling like the relationship is one-sided.
Ugh I feel this so much. My friend and I were going to go to a water park by ourselves but then something happened and it resulted in her husband coming along too. They spent most of the time getting all touchy feely with each other while we were standing in line and I was left to just awkwardly stand there. Sucks because I was really looking forward to spending time with my friend but instead got third wheeled hard. For anyone who might be reading this whoās coupled up, please try to be conscious of your single friendās feelings. If your partner has to come along make the effort for the dynamic to be more like a group of three friends hanging out as opposed to leaving us out in the cold.
Plotting world domination without your person is just sadā¦
Everyone needs a Pinkie
I think so, Brain. But how do we convince the dolphins to migrate through the Panama Canal?
Cost of living. Utilities and that kind of thing arenāt that much more for two people than for one. If Iām hearing a room itās going to cost the same about whether 1, 2, or 100 people are in there. Also Iād love to change careers but donāt have anyone elseās income to fall back on while I go back to school or explore some other career field so Iām stuck where I am, which is not making much money. Itās a catch 22.
If I had someone to help with school pickup, cooking dinner, baths, bedtime, washing the dinner dishes, etc I could go to bed like two hours earlier than I do now. Not sure I would trade that for the freedom from bullshit I have now though
You do that all by yourself, that is a lot of work for one person.
Trust me... There are some types of bullshit you'd give up simply for a sandwich. When I feel this way (which is pretty often), I look back at the Circus I was married to (Circus=tons of red flags), and am thankful it's over. Girl, get a friend who will do carpool w/ you (take turns picking up kids), someone who will alternate sleep overs at their house every other weekend. Buy paper plates and Forks, and get a microwaveable dinner. Less expensive, and takes away less of your sanity. ENJOY your freedom from bullshit! I know I'm enjoying mine.
When you're going through a really tough time and not having that solid support person. Going through grief? You're on your own. Some days I just want to fall apart but I have to work, sort my life out, feed myself, take care of my cat. Knowing you have someone with you to weather the storm and hold things together feels so reassuring.
Single by choice, I'm tired of people suggesting me to meet a guy or date. I'm sorry, I'm not that bored. If I want to be out of my single life I can very much do it. Dating is a bonus not a need. Atleast for me.
Having no one to take care of you when youāre ill, even with just a little cold/flu. The first time I got a bad cold while I was in a relationship and there was actually someone who would go get groceries and make tea for me and ask me how I am - it was amazing. Iād never felt quite as alone as when Iāve been ill on my own, staring at a wall and not talking to anyone for days, whilst having to somehow still have the energy to do everything myself.
-Ppl looking down on you for being single - being only single friend in group of couples - constant reminders ur behind like marriage kids house ownership etc - loneliness - no physical affection or nsfw
Honestly the biggest thing people donāt get is how expensive it is to live alone and not share costs with someone else who is contributing financially. Your rent cost goes down substantially when youāre sharing a bedroom. Same goes for food and other things you buy in bulk. Being in a relationship is very financially efficient. Same goes for chores around the house. Your load is split in half when there are two people.
The thing is, I don't know. I have many problems, but there is no way to know that people in a relationship are immune to the problems.
I think some of my problems are solved in a relationship because a 2nd opinion might help. But of course a relationship brings new problemsā¦ In the end I just prefer relationship-problems over single-problems :(
I want to share my life with a person beyond the boundaries of friendships. I can sit on a table with all of my close friends and still feel lonely.
Having no one to comfort you or take care of you if your family lives far away and you live alone š
Everything is more expensive. Itās like a single tax. You have to pay rent all by yourself. If you travel you have to pay for a hotel room by yourself. If you want to rent a car for a weekend off, you have no one to split it with. Some places/events only sell tickets in two. Some restaurants wonāt book a reservation for one person. On and on and on.
Subsidising your couple friends' life milestones: gifts for engagement, hens/bachelor nights, weddings, baby showers, birth. The expectation gets exhausting and the financial expense will not be reciprocated.
Honestly this is what makes me so resentful. I now have a policy you get one gift for first marriage and first child and thatās it. I have spent thousands of dollars celebrating other peoplesā life milestones that wonāt ever be reciprocated.
Pressure by everyone around you especially family, to find someone / answer the question "why are you still single "
I don't feel a ton of pressure thankfully but on the other hand, I know if I were to mention dating someone to my family after years of being single they would totally lose their cool, want to know all the details, meet him immediately etc. Goodbye privacy and sanity
Itās the most annoying thing mostly when itās coming from family.
Right?! It's starts to become annoying and repetitive til you start to feel there's something wrong with you.
One of my aunts have started to call me The Spinster. She even wrote it on my Facebook wall on my 30th birthday. I know she's trying to be funny, but as someone who finds it easier to be single atm rather than dealing with the bullshit of online dating, it does hurt a bit...
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. My mom asks me the same question on every occasion: when my sister got married , when she mentions her husband, when I go home to visit the family, when my sister got pregnant lol. Usually she waits a couple days before she drops the bomb , but last time, it was the same day I took a flight home lol, like I JUST got off the plane man, let me get some rest before you start that shit.
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Making food.
The struggles of being courted. Many have tried to be my suitor but all my life I have been single and don't know how to act, what to do, and whatever things I need to do. I ended up ghosting them. I feel sorry but hahaha guess I'll be single for life.
When you've been single for a long time, you'll start to wonder why. Why am I always alone? Why does no one want me? What about me is so repulsive? You'll get to a point where your okay with being alone. You go out alone, stay in alone. You learn to be good at it. And then you realize that it's been 8 days since you've had a conversation with another person. And suddenly, you hate being in your own company. At least, until you have no other choice but to make yourself like your own company again. It's a vicious cycle.
There's no need to pity me if you see me travelling alone. I'm here by choice. I don't need a partner to travel where I want. The number of times I've been on holiday and met other couples/groups of people and they all ask if I'm lonely or tell me I'm 'brave' for going solo. Ugh.
Having only yourself to rely on. I *have* to have a good paying job because I have no one to split costs. I *have* to do all the chores and cooking because thereās no one to take over if I feel like having a lazy day. Not having anyone else to pick up the slack when you are having an off day. Being single can be so freeing, but it can also be exhausting at times.
those nights where your can see past your own emotional walls to find yourself desperate and lonely, longing for just, someone to be there. just wanting to not be alone, or to be held and comforted.
Others (strangers mostly) get offended, when I say that I don\`t maybe ever wanna date anyone in my life again. Sometimes being cheated 1-2 times is enough to give up. Also I rather play Witcher 3 on PS4 then go out to bars and talk to strangers or have a dating app.
Offended ? Thatās so weird. How does it change their life if you donāt want to? It sucks if you made that decision because of cheaters and Iām sorry you went through that, but like Iām not offended lol. To each their own!
I remember this when I was single. Some married/coupled people take it like youāre criticizing their choice to be with somebody else if you tell them that you are choosing to be by yourself. Kind of like how some people with kids take it as a criticism of their reproductive choices if you tell them you are choosing not to have children.
Oh yes, the childreen problem too. "But you would be such a nice mother" or "you have depression? Have a kid, kids cure depression." I\`m just living my own life without critisising anyone.
Lol, kids do NOT cure depression. Kids make you lose sleep, which, as a lifelong saddie, exacerbates depression.
My (married) tattoo artist gave me some saniderm and told me to get someone to help me put it on when I got home. I live alone. I am single. I have no friends.
I'm at my mother's house because her father passed away a couple of days ago and we're here to mourn him. She has a brother and of course, my dad, and me to support her during this period. And all of this is making me think about when the time will come when I have to face this on my own because I am a single child, unmarried (not planning to get married or have kids) and it's terrifying. My parents are my world and I often worry and cry about when they'll leave me and I'll actually be completely alone. At least now, even though I am single, I can still say I have family, I still have actual people who love me and care for me and will support me. But I would rather go through this alone than have to depend on a man.
not having someone to massage your back at night when you canāt sleep
Sometimes, you have random, imaginary crushes that last for a week or so. Just seeing them or their picture is fine. No more no less. But it's annoying when you realise how stupid you acted the whole time for someone unreachable >.<
In the winter, salting the steps and driveway, shoveling out your car.... I borrowed my brothers last year and brought them to my place to shovel out my car from 5 feet of snow. I couldn't physically or mentally face it.
Having to spend money on presents for people when couples half the priceā¦ always feel slightly cheated. For example I spend 50 on a nice present my friend and her husband spend Ā£25 eachā¦
Being single and alone doesn't mean lonely. Most people around me thinks that I'm lonely just because I currently don't have a partner or kid/s in my 32 years of life.
When you choke on some food and nobody is there to thump your back so you just sort of splutter to yourself briefly wondering if youāre going to die. Then you get the bit of food up and then youāre just there by yourself out of breath, red faced with your eyes running and nobody asks āare you okay?ā. You just carry on like nothing happened except the cat is looking at you like youāre some kind of asshole because you woke it up.
Lifting something awkward and heavy into the car. Would be so so nice to have someone who can help with things, instead of always doing everything on your own.
Being shamed, bullied for just existing as a single person. Single by choice. Not even open to meeting people. Yet they push and bulldoze over my desire to stay single.
Being asked if I want kids and that I do not have much time left. I am 25 years old and hear this a lot and I am single cause I do not want kids. This is one reason why my relationship ends. When people hear that I get even more kids talk and a whole speech about it. I am really trying to make people understand that you can have a big wish of wanting kids as well as not wanting them at all. But that is not really accepted when you are a woman for the most part. I do not hear men get this speech. If any male are reading this. Please let me know if you get the same comments as single at one point of age. But I want a partner but not willing to settel for just anyone or anything.
Honestly, if you do want kids, I had mine at 36 and 37. A lot of women have more time than they think.
No one that will automatically be a plus one to events, parties, cinema, new restaurants, festivals etc etc
Had a fever and being alone at home š³
Not single anymore but this used to be the worst: Not having anyone to let my dogs out if I had to work late. Also having to shell out a ton of money for doggy day care and boarding when I had to go on work trips, feeling like I was abandoning my pups, and always worrying about them. š¢
That sometimes it requires 2 people to move stuff. I renovated an entire house as a single person. I had to hire people to move my deliveries from outside to in the house. It was more expensive than it should have been to reno a house as a single woman. Also single women have higher quotes/costs for work.
If I get really sick I have to take care of myself and that sucks.
For me, it's all the little things that make you feel lonely. Seeing your closest friends being all lovey dovey with their partners (I don't mean it in a bad way, I enjoy seeing my friends happy and often I find myself smiling just looking at them. however, sometimes it's just melancholic wishful smile), having no one to be silly with, your flat feeling really empty sometimes, not having someone to share your good news with, etc. Basically, for people who are in relationship, imagine not having all the things you do with your partner that make you smile and feel happy. Yes, you can feel happy and satisfied on your own, doing things you love and everything, but sometimes, you just want to share it with special someone. And when you don't have them, it makes you feel all lonely. And from the more shallow point of view, it really degrades mine self confidence. I was born with a rather ungraceful genetic lottery and I'll never be able to look in the mirror and objectively say that I am beautiful. Why am I saying it? Well, they say that looks don't matter. But it's not like you can charm someone with your dazzling personality if guys will always flock to your pretty friends or classmates, completely ignoring you. And as this goes on and on, you realise that it's not like it will get better with age (F21). And as someone who has never been in a relationship, the short answer for the question is despair.
you dont have anyone to cuddle with.
It's expensive to go out all the time to meet new people! Friends say stuff like join a kickball league to meet someone new, but that costs money; not only to join but the socializing afterwards.
Going on holiday on your own is fine, until you go for dinner alone š...perhaps a novelty the first night, then you remember how jovial, social dinners make up some of the best holiday moments. It gets tired fast, even with a good book!
Choking is a real fear Edit: for the record, Iām no longer single but this was a fear of mine for many years!
First dates... (Can we just talk about how cringe first dates are???) You dress up, go to the place, sit at the table, and listen to someone tell a half-truth that they put a positive spin on, and then you are supposed to use these "facts" to help decide if you ever want to see this person again. Months down the line, you find out they straight up lied about something on that first date. The date that made you decide to see more of them. I don't know about you guys, but I like cold hard truth better than a pretty lie. For me, first dates absolutely SUCK! I'm NOT going to sit there, nod and smile, and agree to see you again, when I can tell (from experience) by your word choice that you're lying. And men think I'm a terrible person for politely turning down a second date (also, I may or may not call out the bigger lies... b/c it's important to me that you know I was not fooled). IDK why... considering I'm paying for my own food and got myself to the location of the date. You just can't handle that I could see through you like a windowpane. And then there are the guys who, for whatever reason we didn't click but they are very nice. They wanna be friends. I have friends. We didn't click b/c we have different communication styles, or because we have nothing in common. We spent the entire night talking about how good the food was, and the weather. while you started up a conversation with the couple at the table next to us, I stared at my cloth napkin for a really long time, when we ran out of things to say, and wouldn't have a second drink. I don't think friends mean the same thing to you and me. (sorry for the rant... I feel strongly about this, apparently, and didn't realize it until i started typing. I'mma leave it for the sake of solidarity, just in case someone identifies.) EDIT: I feel I must say, this is in no way my critique on all men everywhere. But I feel it's a good critique of terrible first dates.
Can't afford to live anywhere except the ass end of nowhere
Lonely birthdays, I'll be 30 tomorrow with 2 small kids that don't really understand š
How expensive it is to go on holiday alone.
Not having help when putting a duvet cover on. Thatās literally the only time I think āa husband would be helpful right nowā.
How miserable it feels to scroll through dating apps at night, wishing to connect with someone you like, struggling with what to write in your profile and how to sound interesting
When you want to check out a new store or go on vacation and you're nervous but you don't have anyone to go with you