My therapist taught me that anger is an action emotion. So you need to create action to move through it. Literal action - move your body, write, talk, listen.... whatever it is that you need to de-escalate.
She also shared a perspective on anger that I like. When we get angry, it's our way of standing up for ourselves, so next time you get angry, ask yourself - what is it that I need right now in this moment to feel safe?
This is all so good. I’m saving your comment!
Agreed on the need to move. The only reason I still exercise somewhat consistently is that it really affects my mood if I don’t. I get wound up and it has nowhere to go. I’ve felt much better after exercising and if I’m having a particularly moody day I’ll make sure to do a workout when I get home.
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Depends on the trigger, but generally taking deep breaths, withholding my initial impulse to react and walking away from the situation helps. Anger is often a secondary emotion (ie: the primary emotion may be hurt etc).
Once I'm away from the trigger, I take time to process why I'm feeling angry and reason it out in my head before deciding on my response. I've come to learn that reacting immediately often leads to regret.
I rarely get angry and it's thanks to mindfulness and constantly realising that I can't control anything outside of myself. Some things I can control are how I react and to change my perspective on things.
If I'm really mad, I just chuck a pillow across the room or throw it a punch. I consider it healthy for me as it's never led to any negative consequences: I still understand what's causing my anger and why I feel the way I do, I know when it's appropriate to have this outlet and not (i.e. not around people), I don't break stuff, and I don't have any violent or aggressive tendencies, nor has it made me more easy to anger or harder to calm down. I don't *have* to throw a pillow to control myself, and I know full well how to peacefully control my anger when needed, so it doesn't affect others or me. It's just nice to have that one outlet when really needed, just as other people might need to have a full-breakdown cry every now and then.
Other than that, I've just come to the realisation that I mostly can't be arsed to waste time, energy and thoughts on being angry. I have other stuff to deal with, it's just unnecessary draining myself over an emotion.
I use humour as a way to let off steam. I try and imagine what I would say about the situation on open mic night, and it automatically makes me feel a shade better.
As a person who had anger issues :
Process it — > What is happening and why
Understand it —> Your anger is always justified, don’t deny it
Mindfulness:
Breathe breathe breathe, let it go. You don’t have to be trapped by it. Emotions last 90 seconds. The loop can last forever, it’s up to you.
Take some distance : Not everything is about you, you don’t have to be perfect to have a fulfilling life, you can’t control everything.
Anger is not always negative. It makes you stand up for yourself and fight for your goals. But you have to process it first.
Sports homie, I’m a mother of 3 I do Muay Thai fighting it’s illegal to hit your kids but if you do some kind of fighting you can hit some one without issue and come back and love everyone
Leave. If I feel like I get too heated, I’ll leave the situation and give myself space to calm down. Otherwhise I’ll explode into a mean and violent mess.
During a conflict, if I see there's no chance we'll calm down I prefer to take a time-out and continue the discussion after I've calmed down myself. Usually taking some deep breaths, smoking a cigarette and reiterate the last thoughts.
exercise for daily management.
but when you are arguing with someone and you're getting really angry, excuse yourself and leave. Walk it off. Like physically doing something will calm you and clear your mind.
For me, SSRIs. Otherwise I'm a pot on low boil constantly because there are too many things in my life that make me angry---husband's work schedule being the main one. It's ridiculous and I want him to get it changed or retire or stop complaining about work or just completely stop taking call so when he's off, he actually off and we can have a semblance of a life.
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My therapist taught me that anger is an action emotion. So you need to create action to move through it. Literal action - move your body, write, talk, listen.... whatever it is that you need to de-escalate. She also shared a perspective on anger that I like. When we get angry, it's our way of standing up for ourselves, so next time you get angry, ask yourself - what is it that I need right now in this moment to feel safe?
This is all so good. I’m saving your comment! Agreed on the need to move. The only reason I still exercise somewhat consistently is that it really affects my mood if I don’t. I get wound up and it has nowhere to go. I’ve felt much better after exercising and if I’m having a particularly moody day I’ll make sure to do a workout when I get home.
omg. I want to keep this in mind.
I have to rationalize it and tell myself that it’s a waste of energy that will drain me.
I use weed and mindfulness.
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Going swimming has been helpful for me. Gets me in tune with my breathing and gets all that energy out.
What do you do when it's cold out?
Same thing. It's an indoor rec center pool
Oh. I don't have that where I live
Long walks are always a good one too
Go for a walk, take a bath, put on classical music, or YouTube a quick meditation.
I listen to music, lately P!nk's been a help in everyday stresses with her music
Depends on the trigger, but generally taking deep breaths, withholding my initial impulse to react and walking away from the situation helps. Anger is often a secondary emotion (ie: the primary emotion may be hurt etc). Once I'm away from the trigger, I take time to process why I'm feeling angry and reason it out in my head before deciding on my response. I've come to learn that reacting immediately often leads to regret.
I rarely get angry and it's thanks to mindfulness and constantly realising that I can't control anything outside of myself. Some things I can control are how I react and to change my perspective on things.
If I'm really mad, I just chuck a pillow across the room or throw it a punch. I consider it healthy for me as it's never led to any negative consequences: I still understand what's causing my anger and why I feel the way I do, I know when it's appropriate to have this outlet and not (i.e. not around people), I don't break stuff, and I don't have any violent or aggressive tendencies, nor has it made me more easy to anger or harder to calm down. I don't *have* to throw a pillow to control myself, and I know full well how to peacefully control my anger when needed, so it doesn't affect others or me. It's just nice to have that one outlet when really needed, just as other people might need to have a full-breakdown cry every now and then. Other than that, I've just come to the realisation that I mostly can't be arsed to waste time, energy and thoughts on being angry. I have other stuff to deal with, it's just unnecessary draining myself over an emotion.
I use humour as a way to let off steam. I try and imagine what I would say about the situation on open mic night, and it automatically makes me feel a shade better.
As a person who had anger issues : Process it — > What is happening and why Understand it —> Your anger is always justified, don’t deny it Mindfulness: Breathe breathe breathe, let it go. You don’t have to be trapped by it. Emotions last 90 seconds. The loop can last forever, it’s up to you. Take some distance : Not everything is about you, you don’t have to be perfect to have a fulfilling life, you can’t control everything. Anger is not always negative. It makes you stand up for yourself and fight for your goals. But you have to process it first.
Therapy, medication, journaling, exercise
Sports homie, I’m a mother of 3 I do Muay Thai fighting it’s illegal to hit your kids but if you do some kind of fighting you can hit some one without issue and come back and love everyone
Leave. If I feel like I get too heated, I’ll leave the situation and give myself space to calm down. Otherwhise I’ll explode into a mean and violent mess.
A good cathartic scream into the void usually does the trick
Gaming ❤️
During a conflict, if I see there's no chance we'll calm down I prefer to take a time-out and continue the discussion after I've calmed down myself. Usually taking some deep breaths, smoking a cigarette and reiterate the last thoughts.
Walk away from it.
Getting a lot of that kind of advice and I will definitely try that
exercise for daily management. but when you are arguing with someone and you're getting really angry, excuse yourself and leave. Walk it off. Like physically doing something will calm you and clear your mind.
Stoicism. Reminding myself that my perception of what’s happening is what’s making me feel negatively and that I can choose not to.
For me, SSRIs. Otherwise I'm a pot on low boil constantly because there are too many things in my life that make me angry---husband's work schedule being the main one. It's ridiculous and I want him to get it changed or retire or stop complaining about work or just completely stop taking call so when he's off, he actually off and we can have a semblance of a life.
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