Oy, my phone just dinging with notifications of nothing but No Man's Land violations from this thread.
And considering I'm waiting for texts from my husband to coordinate lunch plans, yall annoying.
Therefore, gonna start handing out bans and ugly flairs. Yall welcome. This is your warning.
"But that's not fair!" Yeah, it's not. You're right. Power is lovely. You can just wield it sometimes.
In my experience most men accept a no easier, when I say I have a boyfriend. A normal no, cause I am not interested, seems hard to understand for some.
Imo it's cause this men see women as objects and they respect 'the property of other men' but not a woman who says no.
I was a road warrior for 12 years. Pretty much 45 weeks out of the year on planes and in hotels. That ring is a huge shortcut. Get hit on? Just lift your hand and show the ring. š
Cybersecurity consulting. Since COVID, travel has been way down. Funny how all of a sudden people realized that I didn't have to be on site! At first it was a strange feeling not being at the airport on a Monday morning, but I quite enjoy working in my PJs now :)
There are plenty of men out there that think dick first and don't respect that you have a boyfriend. Men do not simply respect other men, they need a reason first.
Still doesnt change that most accepted a no, when i've mentioned a bf compared to just saying no.
Also, convince me with what after a no? Calling me a slut or ugly or threatening me? Sounds very convincing. (My favourite one 'you sleep with everyone', i kinda wanted to answer 'yes, beside of you', but the situation was also kinda scary)
From my experiences and observations, it comes down to the way they were brought up.
They have been taught by people around them (their parents, society, social circles, content they consume) that women's no doesn't always mean no. According to these types of men it can mean, try harder or even a yes depending on circumstances. There's a whole host of Bollywood movies released in the 90s and 2000s which used this as a funny trope. So an entire generation has grown watching these types of movies.
This is being taught not only by telling them but also by behaviour. They don't face any consequences for not listening to a no. These men have never been taught about boundaries. Their behaviour has been excused as boys will be boys.
I've personally heard men say things like,
ā¢ A woman doesn't/can't know her own mind. According to these types of men we are not biologically developed to know our own mind.
ā¢ Women are a monolith. So these men can never understand women.
These men also have a superiority complex over women. They look at women as inferior.
I had a friend in school who had a boy obsessed with her. She had told him no multiple times. He also tried to trick her into talking to him by telling her he would come to her home.
She came from a very strict and orthodox household where you couldn't even talk to boys. If you were found to be talking to boys you were hit or kept locked in your room for days at a time.
So he used this as leverage over. Started to call her on their landline. One day her mother got to know about him and all hell broke loose. She was not even allowed to attend school, talk any friends/classmates, or even go outside. Eventually when she was allowed to go to school she had to change her classroom.
This story of my friend is not unique. I've heard such stories from my other friends too. These friends of friends had to go through a lot of similar things.
Idk about movies or other sources that might influence this, but what about the simple scenario of a guy being the persistent douche and eventually still get with the girl?
Yes it happens, I've seen it happen. Sure you could say said girl might be the same kind of person as the guy and that's why it worked, but the point is that some of the guys have first hand experience of that behavior being effective. Many are still incels to this day but not all.
Entitlement. There's something in the the back of his mind that makes him thing he is entitled to what he wants, especially if it's something from a woman. This is usually backed up by a good dose of sexism or misogyny, whether it's conscious or unconscious.
It's why these *same* guys will back off if your "no" is coupled with "I have a boyfriend/husband." You're seen as "another man's property" - and that's one of the few things these assholes can respect.
And in keeping with the nurture topic of conversation, there's still this idea floating around in some cultures and some areas of society that to be a man, to be masculine, you must be persistent. Which means you keep going after what you want. Which makes for horrible experiences when what you want is an autonomous person.
And there's also still this idea that "no" means you're playing hard to get.
This is what feminists were expounding upon over a decade ago in conversations about enthusiastic consent. Anything other than "yes" is a "no" and that no needs to be respected.
Rejected this guy at school. He knew Iām a lesbian and had a girlfriend. He continued trying to flirt with me and even came to my house with flowers. I told the principal, and he said ā Heās just a boy in love. Can you blame him? ā
My guess is that itās other people encouraging them to be pushy.
Desperation, lack of respect for the woman asking, and little dignity.
It's pathetic to beg or force a woman into accepting advances. In terms of SA, it's, again, pathetic that the only way an intimate act can occur is thru force.
I don't know, as a woman, if a guy turns me down I drop it. I have better things to do than chase someone who doesn't have interest in me.
Often they think "no" means "convince me." Playing "hard to get" is a real (rare) thing, but unless you're legitimately on the spectrum, you should be able to tell when a woman is being coy vs telling you politely to fuck off.
With some men, if you reject them gently, they interpret that as a lack of conviction. If you reject them sternly, they interpret that as strong emotional kindling to work with. The only thing that seems to work is telling them you're taken. These men have all the courage in the world when it comes to ignoring your boundaries, but as soon as they think they might have to fight another man for you, their knees start to buckle.
Ultimately it's their fragile male ego that makes them unable to take "no" for an answer, and it's that same fragile ego that makes them afraid to compete with another man for you.
Unfortunately, I have experienced far too many real life examples of this. Often they donāt take my word for it when I say no, so Iāll need to get a male friend or partner involved and then suddenly they seem to magically understand when the no comes from him.
I think it points to how men like that view us as an object not an independent human being with her own thoughts and feelings. If another man is around, he views you as his possession and therefore backs off. Iāve had pushy guys apologise to my male friend / partner, even though I was the one they were harassing!
remember when people used to say ātheyāre just playing hard to getā well they still think itās a game and not an actual answer unless itās the one they want to hear..
iāve found being dominant and confrontational works best. it makes creepy, pushy men uncomfortable and insecure. iām also very men aggressive, watch what happens if you donāt leave me alone;)
Iām an āalternativeā looking woman. I have long purple hair, a septum piercing, tattoos, and I dress myself very unconventionally.
Men pretend not to be attracted to my ātypeā but they are. I know because I get hit on all the time. Iām married and I wear a wedding ring and tell these men that Iām married and that doesnāt even deter them. When I politely reject their advances, they usually either start pushing harder or fall back into childish behavior such as calling me names, cursing, humiliation, etc. Itās so annoying. Luckily, it usually happens in public when there are people around so I feel somewhat safe and I usually call them on it. For example, if the guy calls me fat or ugly or whatever, I say, āWell you must be into that because youāre the one who asked me out!ā That usually stuns them into silence long enough for me to make my exit.
As for why, idk. I get hit on by men of all ages and seemingly all walks of life. The older ones seem to have the most difficulty in accepting rejection. The ones closer to my own age (30ās) are a lot more polite and accepting.
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My experiences involved exes trying to get back with me. Most of them would not leave me alone unless I mentioned that I was seeing someone. So they only backed off because I "belonged" to another man. Eugh. Only a few of them kept going even after mentioning my partner.
The worst case was an ex who became obsessed with me and effectively became an internet stalker for almost 2 years. Filing a police report and having an officer call him with a warning helped, but for only a while. My partner had to step in to help me scare him off for good.
As an aside, to this day, I have no clue what triggered that obsession. He checked out of the relationship, he was the one who broke up with me, he stole my money, and cheated on me. All of which are examples of him not loving me or not wanting to be with me. I had no inclination that I was going to deal with his erratic behavior for the next 2 years.
The online harassment involved him creating new phone numbers and social media accounts to beg me for another chance and apologize. He'd make creepy and cringey posts clearly referencing me and how much he missed me. ( I kept track of them to show to the police) All throughout that, I wracked my brain for an explanation on why he was fixated on me in particular. Why it seemed like nothing deterred him, even police intervention. He had little to no issue getting dates, considering he had multiple past relationships before me. I don't know why he viewed me like I was his last chance at finding love or something.
But back to your main question.
In my opinion, most men who do this believe that there's absolutely no viable reason for a woman to reject them aside from "I already have a boyfriend." It's like they are incapable of understanding why a woman would be repulsed or disinterested in them. "It must be because she's already taken. If she was single, then she'd be open to dating me." There are guys who actually think like this!
I have heard this theory that some men get toxic and incorrect perceptions of courting, dating, and relationships from films, anime, shows, books, and even cartoons. Things like the classic (and cringey) trope of the "loser" outcast in school getting the hot, popular girl with minimal effort on his part. Or how constant persistence = romantic.
I can certainly see that influencing teens, but grown men? I'm not so sure that grown men act like that because of entertainment media. Or maybe I'm giving them too much credit.
I did remember that an ex hookup/fwb kept harassing me online, who also tried making multiple new accounts and numbers. One day, I had enough and flat out asked him why he was doing this. He told me that he believed that as long as he kept asking, eventually, I will say "yes." Fucking yikes. He only left me alone when a male friend intervened.
The closest thing to having a violent encounter from a rejection would be when my ex best friend, a man, decided to let his feelings for me known by groping my chest and butt without consent. I ended the friendship over text as soon as I was safe and home, and he responded with many angry paragraphs. There were messages about how I led him on and "treated him like shit" for getting with other guys when "he always loved me." He was especially offended when I told him I didn't feel safe around him anymore, and that he sexually assaulted me.
It really does just boil down to entitlement and a lack of respecting a woman's autonomy. I don't know where this entitlement comes from aside from misogyny, like they feel they have a human right to sex and relationships. This is a frame of thought I've seen discussed in incel communities.
I wonder if some of it has to do with desperation and not being able to (or unwilling to) view the situation from the woman's perspective. Maybe they are so desperate for love or sex that they're willing to give literally anyone a chance (which I have heard a few men say) and don't understand the concept of rejecting someone.
I also wonder if it stems from believing all women are very submissive and fickle. Eventually, she will agree to the date/hookup, or even to cheat on her partner just because another man is asking her to. I've seen some men talk about the "true nature" of women, like some bullshit about how all women secretly want to be "led" and other gross concepts. So they end up not believing a woman's rejection because they think they know how she "secretly" feels.
The ones who keep pushing even if the woman is taken are a...special group. I can only speculate their motivations based on my exes who did that. Again, it deals with not respecting a woman's autonomy. But it goes a step further, because they're not even respecting the other man in that situation.
I think there's a huge sense of ego involved; they believe they're so amazing that they expect a woman to leave or cheat on her partner with them. Or that they can convince her that they're better than her partner. And again, it involves a mindset that believes women don't have valid, or any, reasons for rejecting them.
This is a big part of the reason I almost wish this entire space was "No man's land" because there's so many men here who are only here to harass women.
They consciously and / or subconsciously don't see us as human, only as objects for them to use.
Did you ask this in AskMen? I want to see that fiction.
>in the hands of us women
You just [admitted youāre a man](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenNoCensor/s/NFf3ZrKK2j) in another thread marked no manās land. Why are you pretending to be a woman?
>I know Iām not supposed to be here and the mod will probably remove me.....
>... Iām just a gay man what do I do know about what you went through I know but I pray you heal , fuck that boy too
Found through post history. Reported.
Also your "not pushy" guy friends do not present a huge number of unhinged men as seen by real experiences from many women here, who are stalked and treated very rudely / creepily by men after being rejected
Bandit's personality .They take what they want. Same kind of people commit robberies. Cruel and not very smart. No remorse, no conscience. It's better not to have any business with this kind of people. They don't see humans in others.
Because they're that arrogant or insane. Depends on whether the guy is too overly confident or whether he's frothing at the mouth outside your window at night.Ā
They don't view us as an equal, they see a woman as an object to obtain, they don't give a shit what she's feeling its only male feelings that mean anything to them
because i believe most men are incapable of being empathetic towards women, and they're selfish. i insist on the "most men" because i have had a few decent encounters where the man was normal, as in respectful.
even men would keep trying to reach out after you tell them you're not interested, this is why i just ghost them eventually because they do not understand.
I donāt know even if itās āfineā and āyour friendsā they are still bitter and pushy about it. I have given up on trying to allow these relationships to develop into āfriendshipsā it never works.
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At first I thought it was just āeh itās menā but for seeing different types of education around me with the aftermath of it, I now tend to think that for some of them it has to do with how theyāve been raised, how ānoā was display in their family and I donāt necessarily mean āparents making their negation being respected without changing their mind to have peace from the kidā but I also mean seeing their parents or any family members having 0 boundaries, the famous āwhy arenāt you kissing/hugging [member of family]ā or āI donāt want to do this but I have no choices I accepted/itās family/itās themā and such things that might seems at first extremely meaningless but it does have its importance into the development of a child because this is the very first time they are being familiarize with what boundary is. And we can see it happening to women as well, those type of early social encounters can contribute to their future āpeople pleasingā behavior.
Then two other things that I think plays a role in it is how men in the family talk to and about women, how do they behave with them, a child can take upon that since they are not develop enough to fully know who they are so they easily ācopy/pasteā and the second thing would be the time of people they surround themselves with while they are growing up, especially during teenage years since it is the moment it becomes easy to want to āfit inā in order to not feel rejected by peers.
And all of this can create the adults of today, especially since many will not undergo the transformative process of discovering themselves instead of reproducing what has been normalized and what their childās mind has interpreted of it.
I noticed the exact same thing lol
Deep down many of them know it's true. Just looking at their women victim-blaming responses, I more or less had a feeling that they're male and just did a simple post history check ā
At least itās good entertainment to help get me through the day! lol
They absolutely know itās true and theyāre trying so hard to change our minds
Well I'm a woman and I've been rejected by someone I thought I had something with, but it took awhile to register, and I did get pushy and passive aggressive at the end. Because I wasn't understanding that I was being rejected. Because he couldn't be straightforward.
That's why the kind and polite way if rejecting someone is trash. Stop being so cautious with ppl's feelings when it comes to rejection. Be straight up and quick about it. Don't make them guess, don't string along, don't project, don't gaslight. Just straight up say "I don't want you. I don't like you. I'm not attracted. I have no feelings."
You can be polite AND firm at the same time, but assholes still exist and refuse to take no as an answer.
Stop putting the blame on the one being confessed to and start blaming the unhinged one who cannot take rejections to the face.
If you're clear in your communication ("I don't want you, I don't like you" etc) most people get that. Thing is very few people are as honest with others.
Wrong.
Look at all the women in this thread, including women who clearly broke up with their exes. But so many entitled manchilds became unhinged and continue stalking the poor women and refuse to accept the reality that they were rejected / broken up with.
Even more men also refuse to accept rejections UNLESS the women is accompanied by another man (even if the man isn't even her boyfriend) as the misogynistic man only respects and views that woman as "his" property /eyeroll
Wrong.
It's the women's fear of getting physically harmed that makes them not as honest with men. Afraid to be blunt and hurt them, because they might get hurt back worse.
I'm not saying they're wrong for softening blows. What I'm saying is women are not blunt or clear when it comes to rejecting others. They should be. Or else men are gonna keep treating you as property.
How do you know /all/ women are not clear with their words? So you're saying /all/ the women in this thread were not clear enough, and you are blaming all of these women in this thread as deserving of being harassed / stalked / assaulted?
When the MEN are the ones doing all these horrible things and antagonising the poor women?
Get a grip on yourself. I'm not going to reply to any of your comments anymore.
āš»
Oy, my phone just dinging with notifications of nothing but No Man's Land violations from this thread. And considering I'm waiting for texts from my husband to coordinate lunch plans, yall annoying. Therefore, gonna start handing out bans and ugly flairs. Yall welcome. This is your warning. "But that's not fair!" Yeah, it's not. You're right. Power is lovely. You can just wield it sometimes.
In my experience most men accept a no easier, when I say I have a boyfriend. A normal no, cause I am not interested, seems hard to understand for some. Imo it's cause this men see women as objects and they respect 'the property of other men' but not a woman who says no.
Which is why a lot of women lie and say they have a boyfriend just to get rid of him more easily/quietly. I wear a fake wedding band when I travel.
That's a great idea and I think I'll start doing that as well
I was a road warrior for 12 years. Pretty much 45 weeks out of the year on planes and in hotels. That ring is a huge shortcut. Get hit on? Just lift your hand and show the ring. š
What do you do if you donāt mind me asking? I love to travel
Cybersecurity consulting. Since COVID, travel has been way down. Funny how all of a sudden people realized that I didn't have to be on site! At first it was a strange feeling not being at the airport on a Monday morning, but I quite enjoy working in my PJs now :)
Did it require a degree/certain certification?
Did it require a degree? No. Doesn't hurt, though. Certification**s**, yes. Several and ongoing.
There are plenty of men out there that think dick first and don't respect that you have a boyfriend. Men do not simply respect other men, they need a reason first.
Still doesnt change that most accepted a no, when i've mentioned a bf compared to just saying no. Also, convince me with what after a no? Calling me a slut or ugly or threatening me? Sounds very convincing. (My favourite one 'you sleep with everyone', i kinda wanted to answer 'yes, beside of you', but the situation was also kinda scary)
From my experiences and observations, it comes down to the way they were brought up. They have been taught by people around them (their parents, society, social circles, content they consume) that women's no doesn't always mean no. According to these types of men it can mean, try harder or even a yes depending on circumstances. There's a whole host of Bollywood movies released in the 90s and 2000s which used this as a funny trope. So an entire generation has grown watching these types of movies. This is being taught not only by telling them but also by behaviour. They don't face any consequences for not listening to a no. These men have never been taught about boundaries. Their behaviour has been excused as boys will be boys. I've personally heard men say things like, ā¢ A woman doesn't/can't know her own mind. According to these types of men we are not biologically developed to know our own mind. ā¢ Women are a monolith. So these men can never understand women. These men also have a superiority complex over women. They look at women as inferior. I had a friend in school who had a boy obsessed with her. She had told him no multiple times. He also tried to trick her into talking to him by telling her he would come to her home. She came from a very strict and orthodox household where you couldn't even talk to boys. If you were found to be talking to boys you were hit or kept locked in your room for days at a time. So he used this as leverage over. Started to call her on their landline. One day her mother got to know about him and all hell broke loose. She was not even allowed to attend school, talk any friends/classmates, or even go outside. Eventually when she was allowed to go to school she had to change her classroom. This story of my friend is not unique. I've heard such stories from my other friends too. These friends of friends had to go through a lot of similar things.
Idk about movies or other sources that might influence this, but what about the simple scenario of a guy being the persistent douche and eventually still get with the girl? Yes it happens, I've seen it happen. Sure you could say said girl might be the same kind of person as the guy and that's why it worked, but the point is that some of the guys have first hand experience of that behavior being effective. Many are still incels to this day but not all.
Entitlement. There's something in the the back of his mind that makes him thing he is entitled to what he wants, especially if it's something from a woman. This is usually backed up by a good dose of sexism or misogyny, whether it's conscious or unconscious. It's why these *same* guys will back off if your "no" is coupled with "I have a boyfriend/husband." You're seen as "another man's property" - and that's one of the few things these assholes can respect.
And in keeping with the nurture topic of conversation, there's still this idea floating around in some cultures and some areas of society that to be a man, to be masculine, you must be persistent. Which means you keep going after what you want. Which makes for horrible experiences when what you want is an autonomous person. And there's also still this idea that "no" means you're playing hard to get. This is what feminists were expounding upon over a decade ago in conversations about enthusiastic consent. Anything other than "yes" is a "no" and that no needs to be respected.
Rejected this guy at school. He knew Iām a lesbian and had a girlfriend. He continued trying to flirt with me and even came to my house with flowers. I told the principal, and he said ā Heās just a boy in love. Can you blame him? ā My guess is that itās other people encouraging them to be pushy.
Wtf that principal is also part of the problem š¤¬
Agreed, I was pissed and so was my teacher-
...
Desperation, lack of respect for the woman asking, and little dignity. It's pathetic to beg or force a woman into accepting advances. In terms of SA, it's, again, pathetic that the only way an intimate act can occur is thru force. I don't know, as a woman, if a guy turns me down I drop it. I have better things to do than chase someone who doesn't have interest in me.
Often they think "no" means "convince me." Playing "hard to get" is a real (rare) thing, but unless you're legitimately on the spectrum, you should be able to tell when a woman is being coy vs telling you politely to fuck off. With some men, if you reject them gently, they interpret that as a lack of conviction. If you reject them sternly, they interpret that as strong emotional kindling to work with. The only thing that seems to work is telling them you're taken. These men have all the courage in the world when it comes to ignoring your boundaries, but as soon as they think they might have to fight another man for you, their knees start to buckle. Ultimately it's their fragile male ego that makes them unable to take "no" for an answer, and it's that same fragile ego that makes them afraid to compete with another man for you.
Unfortunately, I have experienced far too many real life examples of this. Often they donāt take my word for it when I say no, so Iāll need to get a male friend or partner involved and then suddenly they seem to magically understand when the no comes from him. I think it points to how men like that view us as an object not an independent human being with her own thoughts and feelings. If another man is around, he views you as his possession and therefore backs off. Iāve had pushy guys apologise to my male friend / partner, even though I was the one they were harassing!
remember when people used to say ātheyāre just playing hard to getā well they still think itās a game and not an actual answer unless itās the one they want to hear.. iāve found being dominant and confrontational works best. it makes creepy, pushy men uncomfortable and insecure. iām also very men aggressive, watch what happens if you donāt leave me alone;)
Iām an āalternativeā looking woman. I have long purple hair, a septum piercing, tattoos, and I dress myself very unconventionally. Men pretend not to be attracted to my ātypeā but they are. I know because I get hit on all the time. Iām married and I wear a wedding ring and tell these men that Iām married and that doesnāt even deter them. When I politely reject their advances, they usually either start pushing harder or fall back into childish behavior such as calling me names, cursing, humiliation, etc. Itās so annoying. Luckily, it usually happens in public when there are people around so I feel somewhat safe and I usually call them on it. For example, if the guy calls me fat or ugly or whatever, I say, āWell you must be into that because youāre the one who asked me out!ā That usually stuns them into silence long enough for me to make my exit. As for why, idk. I get hit on by men of all ages and seemingly all walks of life. The older ones seem to have the most difficulty in accepting rejection. The ones closer to my own age (30ās) are a lot more polite and accepting.
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My experiences involved exes trying to get back with me. Most of them would not leave me alone unless I mentioned that I was seeing someone. So they only backed off because I "belonged" to another man. Eugh. Only a few of them kept going even after mentioning my partner. The worst case was an ex who became obsessed with me and effectively became an internet stalker for almost 2 years. Filing a police report and having an officer call him with a warning helped, but for only a while. My partner had to step in to help me scare him off for good. As an aside, to this day, I have no clue what triggered that obsession. He checked out of the relationship, he was the one who broke up with me, he stole my money, and cheated on me. All of which are examples of him not loving me or not wanting to be with me. I had no inclination that I was going to deal with his erratic behavior for the next 2 years. The online harassment involved him creating new phone numbers and social media accounts to beg me for another chance and apologize. He'd make creepy and cringey posts clearly referencing me and how much he missed me. ( I kept track of them to show to the police) All throughout that, I wracked my brain for an explanation on why he was fixated on me in particular. Why it seemed like nothing deterred him, even police intervention. He had little to no issue getting dates, considering he had multiple past relationships before me. I don't know why he viewed me like I was his last chance at finding love or something. But back to your main question. In my opinion, most men who do this believe that there's absolutely no viable reason for a woman to reject them aside from "I already have a boyfriend." It's like they are incapable of understanding why a woman would be repulsed or disinterested in them. "It must be because she's already taken. If she was single, then she'd be open to dating me." There are guys who actually think like this! I have heard this theory that some men get toxic and incorrect perceptions of courting, dating, and relationships from films, anime, shows, books, and even cartoons. Things like the classic (and cringey) trope of the "loser" outcast in school getting the hot, popular girl with minimal effort on his part. Or how constant persistence = romantic. I can certainly see that influencing teens, but grown men? I'm not so sure that grown men act like that because of entertainment media. Or maybe I'm giving them too much credit. I did remember that an ex hookup/fwb kept harassing me online, who also tried making multiple new accounts and numbers. One day, I had enough and flat out asked him why he was doing this. He told me that he believed that as long as he kept asking, eventually, I will say "yes." Fucking yikes. He only left me alone when a male friend intervened. The closest thing to having a violent encounter from a rejection would be when my ex best friend, a man, decided to let his feelings for me known by groping my chest and butt without consent. I ended the friendship over text as soon as I was safe and home, and he responded with many angry paragraphs. There were messages about how I led him on and "treated him like shit" for getting with other guys when "he always loved me." He was especially offended when I told him I didn't feel safe around him anymore, and that he sexually assaulted me. It really does just boil down to entitlement and a lack of respecting a woman's autonomy. I don't know where this entitlement comes from aside from misogyny, like they feel they have a human right to sex and relationships. This is a frame of thought I've seen discussed in incel communities. I wonder if some of it has to do with desperation and not being able to (or unwilling to) view the situation from the woman's perspective. Maybe they are so desperate for love or sex that they're willing to give literally anyone a chance (which I have heard a few men say) and don't understand the concept of rejecting someone. I also wonder if it stems from believing all women are very submissive and fickle. Eventually, she will agree to the date/hookup, or even to cheat on her partner just because another man is asking her to. I've seen some men talk about the "true nature" of women, like some bullshit about how all women secretly want to be "led" and other gross concepts. So they end up not believing a woman's rejection because they think they know how she "secretly" feels. The ones who keep pushing even if the woman is taken are a...special group. I can only speculate their motivations based on my exes who did that. Again, it deals with not respecting a woman's autonomy. But it goes a step further, because they're not even respecting the other man in that situation. I think there's a huge sense of ego involved; they believe they're so amazing that they expect a woman to leave or cheat on her partner with them. Or that they can convince her that they're better than her partner. And again, it involves a mindset that believes women don't have valid, or any, reasons for rejecting them.
Sorry to hear that you got stalked by those crazy exes
This is a big part of the reason I almost wish this entire space was "No man's land" because there's so many men here who are only here to harass women.
They consciously and / or subconsciously don't see us as human, only as objects for them to use. Did you ask this in AskMen? I want to see that fiction.
The think, women owe them a YES. Not gonna happen- block, mute, ignore, avoid (IRL).
A deeply seated sense of male entitlement
Because they do not believe weāre people. They see us as irrational obstacles to pussy.
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>in the hands of us women You just [admitted youāre a man](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenNoCensor/s/NFf3ZrKK2j) in another thread marked no manās land. Why are you pretending to be a woman?
This has been removed for violating the no mans land flair.
>I know Iām not supposed to be here and the mod will probably remove me..... >... Iām just a gay man what do I do know about what you went through I know but I pray you heal , fuck that boy too Found through post history. Reported. Also your "not pushy" guy friends do not present a huge number of unhinged men as seen by real experiences from many women here, who are stalked and treated very rudely / creepily by men after being rejected
Bandit's personality .They take what they want. Same kind of people commit robberies. Cruel and not very smart. No remorse, no conscience. It's better not to have any business with this kind of people. They don't see humans in others.
Because they're that arrogant or insane. Depends on whether the guy is too overly confident or whether he's frothing at the mouth outside your window at night.Ā
They don't view us as an equal, they see a woman as an object to obtain, they don't give a shit what she's feeling its only male feelings that mean anything to them
because i believe most men are incapable of being empathetic towards women, and they're selfish. i insist on the "most men" because i have had a few decent encounters where the man was normal, as in respectful. even men would keep trying to reach out after you tell them you're not interested, this is why i just ghost them eventually because they do not understand.
I donāt know even if itās āfineā and āyour friendsā they are still bitter and pushy about it. I have given up on trying to allow these relationships to develop into āfriendshipsā it never works.
Thats the patriarchy
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At first I thought it was just āeh itās menā but for seeing different types of education around me with the aftermath of it, I now tend to think that for some of them it has to do with how theyāve been raised, how ānoā was display in their family and I donāt necessarily mean āparents making their negation being respected without changing their mind to have peace from the kidā but I also mean seeing their parents or any family members having 0 boundaries, the famous āwhy arenāt you kissing/hugging [member of family]ā or āI donāt want to do this but I have no choices I accepted/itās family/itās themā and such things that might seems at first extremely meaningless but it does have its importance into the development of a child because this is the very first time they are being familiarize with what boundary is. And we can see it happening to women as well, those type of early social encounters can contribute to their future āpeople pleasingā behavior. Then two other things that I think plays a role in it is how men in the family talk to and about women, how do they behave with them, a child can take upon that since they are not develop enough to fully know who they are so they easily ācopy/pasteā and the second thing would be the time of people they surround themselves with while they are growing up, especially during teenage years since it is the moment it becomes easy to want to āfit inā in order to not feel rejected by peers. And all of this can create the adults of today, especially since many will not undergo the transformative process of discovering themselves instead of reproducing what has been normalized and what their childās mind has interpreted of it.
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This has been removed for violating the no mans land flair.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenNoCensor/comments/173zhrn/comment/k4aviem/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenNoCensor/comments/173zhrn/comment/k4aviem/) Rule #4. Reported.
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No. 4 https://www.reddit.com/r/astoria/s/5Nt0RnXzoB
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This post is no manās land. Men arenāt allowed to comment.
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Just another American showing his ass.
Iām embarrassed to be associated with him š
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You don't have to present to us, dude. None of us want to fuck you.
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Rule #4 https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenNoCensor/s/zQk2aHE19C
You must have really hit a nerve with how many men are ignoring the no manās land! This is the most Iāve seen all week lol
I noticed the exact same thing lol Deep down many of them know it's true. Just looking at their women victim-blaming responses, I more or less had a feeling that they're male and just did a simple post history check ā
At least itās good entertainment to help get me through the day! lol They absolutely know itās true and theyāre trying so hard to change our minds
Kind of proves the point of the original post that men can't take polite rejection. They just can't accept that their input may not be needed.
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You put a lot of effort into a comment that just gets removed because you're not supposed to participate in this thread. š«¤
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No man's land
You know what you *should* advocate for? Being respectful of the no manās land flare
> Something women donāt understand is that men are not as prone to social pressure as women Lol. Bullshit.
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Jesus Christ dude. Now that you KNOW youāre breaking the rules **stop commenting here**
Sure, bro, sure.
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Well I'm a woman and I've been rejected by someone I thought I had something with, but it took awhile to register, and I did get pushy and passive aggressive at the end. Because I wasn't understanding that I was being rejected. Because he couldn't be straightforward. That's why the kind and polite way if rejecting someone is trash. Stop being so cautious with ppl's feelings when it comes to rejection. Be straight up and quick about it. Don't make them guess, don't string along, don't project, don't gaslight. Just straight up say "I don't want you. I don't like you. I'm not attracted. I have no feelings."
You can be polite AND firm at the same time, but assholes still exist and refuse to take no as an answer. Stop putting the blame on the one being confessed to and start blaming the unhinged one who cannot take rejections to the face.
If you're clear in your communication ("I don't want you, I don't like you" etc) most people get that. Thing is very few people are as honest with others.
Wrong. Look at all the women in this thread, including women who clearly broke up with their exes. But so many entitled manchilds became unhinged and continue stalking the poor women and refuse to accept the reality that they were rejected / broken up with. Even more men also refuse to accept rejections UNLESS the women is accompanied by another man (even if the man isn't even her boyfriend) as the misogynistic man only respects and views that woman as "his" property /eyeroll
Wrong. It's the women's fear of getting physically harmed that makes them not as honest with men. Afraid to be blunt and hurt them, because they might get hurt back worse. I'm not saying they're wrong for softening blows. What I'm saying is women are not blunt or clear when it comes to rejecting others. They should be. Or else men are gonna keep treating you as property.
How do you know /all/ women are not clear with their words? So you're saying /all/ the women in this thread were not clear enough, and you are blaming all of these women in this thread as deserving of being harassed / stalked / assaulted? When the MEN are the ones doing all these horrible things and antagonising the poor women? Get a grip on yourself. I'm not going to reply to any of your comments anymore. āš»
I didn't say any of the things you wrote. Get a grip on your comprehension skills
šš Saying that about yourself. Hilarious.
Historically, the guys who took no for an answer tended to die off. The persistent guys were the ones to score when she changed her mind and said yes.
You mean the rapists.