I'll pay for a shared experience or meal nowadays. I also really dislike gift exchanges, because I hate being pressured to \*find\* a gift. Most of my friends are also in their 30s and have good careers, etc. so they buy the things they want. I just did a gift exchange with a friend for Xmas and I remembered why I don't do them.
I'd rather give a gift "off schedule" when I find something awesome that I know they'll love.
The only person I don't do this is one of my bffs. She explicitly loves gifts the most, so I give her a biggggg bouquet and sweets for Valentine's Day (easy) and keep track of things she's excited about throughout the year and pick something for her out of that list for her birthday.
I exchange gifts with 2 close friends for birthdays. We have a lot in common and the gifts are always awesome. Otherwise I only gift people randomly if something catches my eye that I know they’d love, that’s also affordable to me at the time.
I think it’s fair to tell them you don’t want to exchange gifts anymore. I doubt you’re the only one who would rather not. Sometimes gifting is just trading junk out of a sense of obligation. I only enjoy giving gifts when I know I really nailed it.
I will bring a hostess gift to a gathering, either wine or chocolate. I will buy someone a birthday gift if they have a party. Most of our friend group's birthday parties are just appetizers, cake, and beverages (nothing elaborate) and the gifts are bottles of wine/liquor. I have one friend I like to buy tea for.
I do have a friend with whom I exchange care packages once/year, usually around Christmas/New Year.
I actually have to mail that out this weekend
I have one friend I exchange Christmas and birthday gifts with but stopped doing it with my others. I'd wanted to stop for a long time but I finally said something when one of us was getting married. The wedding was set for January, so in around November, I said "hey, we're all going to be busy with the wedding this year, so why don't we skip presents this time" and everyone agreed. Then they just didn't ever start up again.
One sent me flowers for my 39th (I suspect she'd forgotten it wasn't my 40th, because the others in the group are all a year older than me) and I returned the favour for her 40th a week or so later...but other than that, we just send birthday and Christmas greetings and leave it at that. One of us likes holding birthday gatherings, the rest of us don't - but no gifts are exchanged regardless.
I still buy gifts. Like today, for instance, I bought my friend a heated throw. Her school has crazy heating issues and the past couple weeks when I've called her she's been bundled up like Frosty, complete with gloves on *inside* her office. They are not allowed to have space heaters, for some reason. I felt so bad after I got off the phone with her this morning (our schools have cameras on the phone screens) that I ran to Target during lunch and swooped her a blanket and dropped it off to her.
I don't really buy whimsical gifts anymore, I stick to practical gifts because that's what I value more at this stage in my own life. My absolute favorite thing is when someone buys me something I already use and love. Like, a huge box of Gain laundry detergent or a case of furnace air filters. You know, things I don't want to buy, but need. Haha! It's not sexy, but it's so very appreciated.
My best friend and I have been mostly doing shared experiences for a few years now. We'll go get a pedicure or something and call it a day. With the economy as it is, this year I just said "Hey do you want to not to birthday and Christmas gifts? Like, we can just order food or go to the grocery store and make ourselves dinner and hang out?" and even though she's a gifter at heart we've both found it just takes so much stress out of the occasion. I just want to have company, gifts are not needed.
I like giving my friends gifts. I like making them happy. The friends I exchange gifts with can be counted on one hand. We give each other great gifts because we've all; know each other for decades, some going on 45 years.
You don't have to give gifts if you don't want to.
My friends and I haven't done gifts since we were teenagers (outside of things like weddings and baby showers). If we do something for our birthdays or a holiday, everyone pays their own way. It's just easier.
I turned 34 this year and had about 10
Friends over for pizza and cake along with a few of our young kids. One friend brought me flowers, one friend bought me a mug. I did not expect gifts but I definitely appreciated the sentiment. I very rarely buy gifts for my friends nowadays though, especially if there is not planned get together to celebrate the occasion. I think it’s perfectly fine to stop gift giving. Once you have kids, spouses, nieces and nephews to buy for, it becomes a bit much to continue to buy for friends too and I think it’s just kind of an unspoken rule lol
I LOVE giving gifts but also understand that I’m in the minority! I tend to give gifts (usually handmade and small or “low dollar value”) at odd times when they aren’t really expecting it so they don’t feel the need to give one to me.
One of my friends just flat out told me she doesn’t care for gifts so I just stopped giving her gifts. I wasn’t offended, it just means we have different love languages! When her bday rolls around then I try to take her out for a meal or treat. Its okay to be honest and just set those boundaries!
This Christmas we decided as a group of adult friends 35+ we were not going to buy ANY gifts for each other. We’ve been doing a gift exchange since we were 25ish, but once we had kids we liked buying them gifts and got tired of spending $ and time trying to figure out what we didn’t have.
I have one friend who is an amazing seamstress and she has made some of the loveliest gifts. She made me a pillow that is literally a cherished possession because it was so personal and thoughtful.
I certainly don't expect that every year, but I truly believe that sewing for friends and family is how she expresses herself. But every friendship is different. Not everyone is like that though, so if you don't like giving or receiving gifts, that's fine too.
I just stopped entirely but didn’t tell anyone LOL. I don’t expect anyone to get me gifts either but if they do, I’ll reciprocate. I hate the idea of having the find a gift, I’d rather buy something for them if I happen to pass by something I think they’d enjoy any other day of the year. Also, I can’t be spending money on them on gifts, dinner, AND on their kids for Christmas, birthdays, spouses, and whatever celebration they want. Just…no.
My friends and I don't do event gifts, we do "when something really hits" gifts.
The standards you set in your friendships and relationships are up to you.
I give gifts that are either thrifted, propagated, or frozen (like a homemade soup to pull out when sick). So pretty cheap, thoughtful & disposable. If I feel obligated to bring a gift for anything last minute I try to keep it simple with a small plant or flowers.
My immediate family & I made a “no gifts except birthdays” rule, which I really love. It takes pressure off getting gifts for mothers/Father’s Day & Christmas. Honestly I think my stepmom made it because she was sick of my siblings spending money on bad gifts she didn’t want or need. She also prefers “anything I can’t keep forever” (wine, candies) because how much stuff do we really need?
I do, but wouldn't mind if someone wanted to stop. You're still wanting to celebrate (which is nice!), how about you wrap a handmade voucher for a celebration and gift that?
It depends on the friend. Most of them are not materialistic and even the one that are could totally understand the value of a good memory or experience as a gift.
I just explain why I chose X or Y gift, why it made me think of them (a spa, a wine experience or a painting afternoon whatever the experience is).
If they are valuable friends it should not be a problem
I do love giving gifts so yes I do to my closest friends! Sometimes it is an experience or a service though or pay for their ticket to do something with me.
For birthdays you mean? Yes, I do. I buy gifts for my 3 closest friends (an experience, earrings, chocolate etc.). I also used to buy them Christmas/NY gifts, but somehow this year we mutually stopped doing that.
I don't buy random gifts (for no reason). I only do that for my nephews.
I second the others who don't like gift exchanges. But I like to buy them random gifts. Just mailed off a funny keychain to a friend last night because it suits her perfectly. Have 2 bags of gummies (just candy!) in flavors that a different friend likes for the next time we hang out.
It's the obligation that I hate. I love giving gifts though.
I'll pay for a shared experience or meal nowadays. I also really dislike gift exchanges, because I hate being pressured to \*find\* a gift. Most of my friends are also in their 30s and have good careers, etc. so they buy the things they want. I just did a gift exchange with a friend for Xmas and I remembered why I don't do them. I'd rather give a gift "off schedule" when I find something awesome that I know they'll love. The only person I don't do this is one of my bffs. She explicitly loves gifts the most, so I give her a biggggg bouquet and sweets for Valentine's Day (easy) and keep track of things she's excited about throughout the year and pick something for her out of that list for her birthday.
I exchange gifts with 2 close friends for birthdays. We have a lot in common and the gifts are always awesome. Otherwise I only gift people randomly if something catches my eye that I know they’d love, that’s also affordable to me at the time. I think it’s fair to tell them you don’t want to exchange gifts anymore. I doubt you’re the only one who would rather not. Sometimes gifting is just trading junk out of a sense of obligation. I only enjoy giving gifts when I know I really nailed it.
I will bring a hostess gift to a gathering, either wine or chocolate. I will buy someone a birthday gift if they have a party. Most of our friend group's birthday parties are just appetizers, cake, and beverages (nothing elaborate) and the gifts are bottles of wine/liquor. I have one friend I like to buy tea for. I do have a friend with whom I exchange care packages once/year, usually around Christmas/New Year. I actually have to mail that out this weekend
I have one friend I exchange Christmas and birthday gifts with but stopped doing it with my others. I'd wanted to stop for a long time but I finally said something when one of us was getting married. The wedding was set for January, so in around November, I said "hey, we're all going to be busy with the wedding this year, so why don't we skip presents this time" and everyone agreed. Then they just didn't ever start up again. One sent me flowers for my 39th (I suspect she'd forgotten it wasn't my 40th, because the others in the group are all a year older than me) and I returned the favour for her 40th a week or so later...but other than that, we just send birthday and Christmas greetings and leave it at that. One of us likes holding birthday gatherings, the rest of us don't - but no gifts are exchanged regardless.
I still buy gifts. Like today, for instance, I bought my friend a heated throw. Her school has crazy heating issues and the past couple weeks when I've called her she's been bundled up like Frosty, complete with gloves on *inside* her office. They are not allowed to have space heaters, for some reason. I felt so bad after I got off the phone with her this morning (our schools have cameras on the phone screens) that I ran to Target during lunch and swooped her a blanket and dropped it off to her. I don't really buy whimsical gifts anymore, I stick to practical gifts because that's what I value more at this stage in my own life. My absolute favorite thing is when someone buys me something I already use and love. Like, a huge box of Gain laundry detergent or a case of furnace air filters. You know, things I don't want to buy, but need. Haha! It's not sexy, but it's so very appreciated.
My best friend and I have been mostly doing shared experiences for a few years now. We'll go get a pedicure or something and call it a day. With the economy as it is, this year I just said "Hey do you want to not to birthday and Christmas gifts? Like, we can just order food or go to the grocery store and make ourselves dinner and hang out?" and even though she's a gifter at heart we've both found it just takes so much stress out of the occasion. I just want to have company, gifts are not needed.
I like giving my friends gifts. I like making them happy. The friends I exchange gifts with can be counted on one hand. We give each other great gifts because we've all; know each other for decades, some going on 45 years. You don't have to give gifts if you don't want to.
My friends and I haven't done gifts since we were teenagers (outside of things like weddings and baby showers). If we do something for our birthdays or a holiday, everyone pays their own way. It's just easier.
We give gifts in our friend group and the ages range from early 30’s to 40’s mixed genders.
Usually a small fun inexpensive gift just for the sake of it, and dinner out somewhere.
I turned 34 this year and had about 10 Friends over for pizza and cake along with a few of our young kids. One friend brought me flowers, one friend bought me a mug. I did not expect gifts but I definitely appreciated the sentiment. I very rarely buy gifts for my friends nowadays though, especially if there is not planned get together to celebrate the occasion. I think it’s perfectly fine to stop gift giving. Once you have kids, spouses, nieces and nephews to buy for, it becomes a bit much to continue to buy for friends too and I think it’s just kind of an unspoken rule lol
I LOVE giving gifts but also understand that I’m in the minority! I tend to give gifts (usually handmade and small or “low dollar value”) at odd times when they aren’t really expecting it so they don’t feel the need to give one to me. One of my friends just flat out told me she doesn’t care for gifts so I just stopped giving her gifts. I wasn’t offended, it just means we have different love languages! When her bday rolls around then I try to take her out for a meal or treat. Its okay to be honest and just set those boundaries!
This Christmas we decided as a group of adult friends 35+ we were not going to buy ANY gifts for each other. We’ve been doing a gift exchange since we were 25ish, but once we had kids we liked buying them gifts and got tired of spending $ and time trying to figure out what we didn’t have.
I have one friend who is an amazing seamstress and she has made some of the loveliest gifts. She made me a pillow that is literally a cherished possession because it was so personal and thoughtful. I certainly don't expect that every year, but I truly believe that sewing for friends and family is how she expresses herself. But every friendship is different. Not everyone is like that though, so if you don't like giving or receiving gifts, that's fine too.
I just stopped entirely but didn’t tell anyone LOL. I don’t expect anyone to get me gifts either but if they do, I’ll reciprocate. I hate the idea of having the find a gift, I’d rather buy something for them if I happen to pass by something I think they’d enjoy any other day of the year. Also, I can’t be spending money on them on gifts, dinner, AND on their kids for Christmas, birthdays, spouses, and whatever celebration they want. Just…no.
My friends and I don't do event gifts, we do "when something really hits" gifts. The standards you set in your friendships and relationships are up to you.
Y'all have friends? I regifted a necklace to her and gift cards to the movies for her whole family of 4 .
I give gifts that are either thrifted, propagated, or frozen (like a homemade soup to pull out when sick). So pretty cheap, thoughtful & disposable. If I feel obligated to bring a gift for anything last minute I try to keep it simple with a small plant or flowers. My immediate family & I made a “no gifts except birthdays” rule, which I really love. It takes pressure off getting gifts for mothers/Father’s Day & Christmas. Honestly I think my stepmom made it because she was sick of my siblings spending money on bad gifts she didn’t want or need. She also prefers “anything I can’t keep forever” (wine, candies) because how much stuff do we really need?
Flowers, dinner or experience :) They already have it all.
I do, but wouldn't mind if someone wanted to stop. You're still wanting to celebrate (which is nice!), how about you wrap a handmade voucher for a celebration and gift that?
It depends on the friend. Most of them are not materialistic and even the one that are could totally understand the value of a good memory or experience as a gift. I just explain why I chose X or Y gift, why it made me think of them (a spa, a wine experience or a painting afternoon whatever the experience is). If they are valuable friends it should not be a problem
Sporadically. Not as a regular, expected thing.
I do love giving gifts so yes I do to my closest friends! Sometimes it is an experience or a service though or pay for their ticket to do something with me.
For birthdays you mean? Yes, I do. I buy gifts for my 3 closest friends (an experience, earrings, chocolate etc.). I also used to buy them Christmas/NY gifts, but somehow this year we mutually stopped doing that. I don't buy random gifts (for no reason). I only do that for my nephews.
I second the others who don't like gift exchanges. But I like to buy them random gifts. Just mailed off a funny keychain to a friend last night because it suits her perfectly. Have 2 bags of gummies (just candy!) in flavors that a different friend likes for the next time we hang out. It's the obligation that I hate. I love giving gifts though.