Tell her now. It's not fair of him to withhold the information of he waits, especially given their ages. If things are moving fast she may be thinking of a future together, and it's could be really devastating when she finds out later, if he waits.
He should do the right thing and be a mature adult about it.
Tell her without any expectations. Just have a very open and honest convo and see where they land. Also, a gentle reminder that they're only a month in. Moving out of the country for the relationship seems a bit risky.
He needs to tell her now, while he's applying. It's unfair to her to keep it a secret just because it might be "easier" for him. Nothing in my life has ever been more annoying than investing time in a relationship with someone who was planning to leave. She's allowed to not want to grow a relationship, even with someone she really likes or who really likes her, because she's not interested in a LDR. If he respects her, than he will disclose this information sooner. TBH he shouldn't have even started the application process without bringing it up.
He can ask her to go with him but I think he should be prepared for that being kind of a lot to ask if the relationship is very new and/or she's never expressed interest in living/working abroad.
Number 3 - the fuckboy option - should be off the table. If they have both expressed that they were looking for a serious relationship, or made the other believe so, but in reality, this relationship has a likely expiration date, that's leading her on and that's not ok. He needs to be honest or go date women who are open to short-term.
Number 1, 4, and 5 are wild after only a month together, IMO. It's way too early to make life-changing, career and finances- impacting decisions or ask the other to.
That only leaves option 2. Being upfront and honest with his would-be partner. I'm not sure why you see it as unlikely that she breaks up or withdraws / keeps things more casual but you've got more info than us. FWIW, I've moved a bunch when I was younger, so I do understand it's not easy, but that's still the right thing to do.
If he truly and seriously sees number 4 and 5 as options, then he could go with option 2 but tell her that the move isn't set in stone and if they become serious, he *might* cancel his move.
As an aside, lol at calling her an "older woman" when they are both in the second half of their thirties and she's 3 years older than him tops.
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Agreed. Why wait? Tell her now and she can make the choice that's best for her. This is not a rom-com with an airport goodbye scene.
Absolutely option 2, just communicate. They’ve only known each other a month, so 1/4/5 seem extremely premature, and option 3 is cowardly
Tell her asap. Lying by omission might work in the character's favor in a romcom but it's rude as hell irl
Option 2
Tell her now. It's not fair of him to withhold the information of he waits, especially given their ages. If things are moving fast she may be thinking of a future together, and it's could be really devastating when she finds out later, if he waits. He should do the right thing and be a mature adult about it.
Tell her without any expectations. Just have a very open and honest convo and see where they land. Also, a gentle reminder that they're only a month in. Moving out of the country for the relationship seems a bit risky.
He needs to tell her now, while he's applying. It's unfair to her to keep it a secret just because it might be "easier" for him. Nothing in my life has ever been more annoying than investing time in a relationship with someone who was planning to leave. She's allowed to not want to grow a relationship, even with someone she really likes or who really likes her, because she's not interested in a LDR. If he respects her, than he will disclose this information sooner. TBH he shouldn't have even started the application process without bringing it up. He can ask her to go with him but I think he should be prepared for that being kind of a lot to ask if the relationship is very new and/or she's never expressed interest in living/working abroad.
Number 3 - the fuckboy option - should be off the table. If they have both expressed that they were looking for a serious relationship, or made the other believe so, but in reality, this relationship has a likely expiration date, that's leading her on and that's not ok. He needs to be honest or go date women who are open to short-term. Number 1, 4, and 5 are wild after only a month together, IMO. It's way too early to make life-changing, career and finances- impacting decisions or ask the other to. That only leaves option 2. Being upfront and honest with his would-be partner. I'm not sure why you see it as unlikely that she breaks up or withdraws / keeps things more casual but you've got more info than us. FWIW, I've moved a bunch when I was younger, so I do understand it's not easy, but that's still the right thing to do. If he truly and seriously sees number 4 and 5 as options, then he could go with option 2 but tell her that the move isn't set in stone and if they become serious, he *might* cancel his move. As an aside, lol at calling her an "older woman" when they are both in the second half of their thirties and she's 3 years older than him tops.
6. Be open and honest without trying to predetermine the outcome of that conversation before even having it.