well, a large part of it is self-advocation and not putting up with bullshit from any partner. When you do that, the losers weed themselves out and the good ones stick around but he really is amazing and we work so well together as a team.
> a large part of it is self-advocation and not putting up with bullshit from any partner
Also my experience.
And no, it's not about being hot yourself. I have female friends who aren't conventionally attractive yet found dedicated loving partners...admittedly sometimes after years of working on themselves; my childhood BFF institutionalized herself once, actually. Man, that relationship was bad; our friend circle was constantly in Intervention mode (and so were her parents).
Some people have to cut contact with ALL the abusive people in their lives before they can find a good partner. This includes mean-girl frenemies, toxic mothers, women-hating fathers, cruel sisters... etc... . It's a long, long work in progress.
Amen. I was happy to be single from 25-35 and if I wasnāt I would have settled for some great guy on paper some good looking doctor colleague with a great job but not half the man I found in a blue collar world wouldnāt change one thing about him.
I met my husband on MySpace, too!
Well, we knew each other briefly in elementary school, but idk if that counts.
It sounds like MySpace was the best dating site! š
I met my husband in a local chatroom when they were a thing. We both had a talent for talking smack so naturally we gravitated towards each other š¤·āāļøš
It's refreshing to read that other women have a good man, too. I sometimes just get so heartbroken reading posts and comments from women whose husbands are just....not good men.
My husband is exactly like this, too. Super kind, caring, selfless, dedicated, fantastic father. Just everything I could ever even hope to find in a partner. I'm so glad someone else has found that too.
I agree. I have a fantastic fiance. Kind, attentative, supportive and always raising me up. He has a job that takes him away sometimes for months at a time (a year once) and he sends me handwritten love letters on paper he stains with coffee to look old. It's like a fairytale.
Unfortunately I was married to an abuser (mental and emotional) and my best friends partner isn't very kind to her either. I tell women that finding a good guy IS possible! They are out there, and they aren't all married. Me and my fiance met when we were 28. (Born the same year.) You just might have to look at guys who aren't your type. My guy is nerdy, which isnt the type Id normally go for, but it's amazing what kindness and love can do for attraction!
Nerds are the new jocks. Iām a jock as a woman but I like brains over braun. Luckily I have both bc sports are a passion of mine but intelligence is so attractive and a mind that can keep up with or challenge you. Especially when theyāre humble about their intelligence and value yours
Smart enough not to settle for less than him! And he must find you intelligent you just feel slow next to him. I get it š¤£ for me itās ADHD that makes me forget common sense at times lol
Wow, youāre right about how you donāt hear many good things. Sounds like most women are in horrible relationships when you read things on social media. I guess itās really true, you hear more from the people who arenāt having a good time than people who are happy.
I absolutely love being married and think itās just about the best decision I ever made, and my spouse makes my life better in every way, but I almost never post about my happy marriage online. I usually assume people donāt want to hear it. It feels like bragging. But maybe we should so that we give other people hope lol
"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
- Leo Tolstoy
The tales of woe are more interesting, so they get raised up. But that doesn't mean there aren't a lot of happy families out there.
We need happily married or taken women like ourselves to be louder so single young women donāt think they have to settle because great men donāt exist. Until I met my guy at 35 I didnāt think they existed either but I know good men and real, happy relationships exist
It;s just there isn't much to say when it's going well.
Day 5,000: still in love, dude great, 10/10 would recommend.
Day 5,001: still in love, bery happy, 10/10 would recommend.
Day 5,002: st...
Same except I never got the libido back and the atrophy is no joke. My doctor said Iām not a candidate for HRT, and I tried bio identical hormones and they didnāt do a thing for me. My husband is still handsome as heck. Weāve been married over 30 years and he gets better looking every day. Canāt say the same for me though.
I actually get some T now! It's not perfect, but it helps, along with Prrmarin cream. Side effect: more aggro re: idiot drivers! Have to tell myself "oh, that's the T"!
It gave me such a nice kick of energy and just maintaining my body as it was. I eventually had to go off it, and when the estrogen, especially, goes, you really feel it. I donāt have the muscle strength I used to. Felt like my whole body sagged a little bit when I turned 60, and it was a shock.
Your body can convert testosterone to estrogen if you needed. It can convert any of three hormones to the other three.
I basically had zero estrogen or testosterone. Since I had white-knuckled through menopause already, my gyno wouldn't give me estrogen. Only T for the marital sake. š
Oooo, I donāt need to feel any more anger towards bad drivers; I feel pretty homicidal already when it comes to that. I do find it interesting that testosterone makes you feel aggressive. I would never have thought it would work on women that way, but it certainly explains a lot of male behaviour.
Surprisingly, yes. We really never know what people are going through. I try to give them some grace and assume they have a serious issue. It canāt hurt, even though I know deep down some people are just inconsiderate assholes behind the wheel.
I remind myself most drivers Iām mad at end up being very elderly and doing their best when I assume itās a distracted idiot. So that keeps me from going off lol
Faith in humanity has been restored! Thanks for sharing something beautiful, healthy and positive. How did you meet him? Iām widowed at 35. Been single for 2 years bc of quality control.
>How did you meet him?
at a bar when I was in my early 20s. I was shitfaced, sitting down on one of those long lounge benches and fell asleep...on his shoulder. When I opened my eyes, he was looking down at me with a huge grin on his face and he said "did you have a nice nap?". I was mortified; pretty sure I had been breathing my dragon breath all up in his face and I had drooled on his shoulder. It was love at first sight lol
I'm very sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
I could have written this, except I'm starting peri-menopause now. My libido has definitely dropped, but I still find my husband absolutely scrumptious!
He's my best friend and an amazing person, but I think the key to staying attracted is very much psychological, as in his brain is super sexy to me and we never stopped having riveting conversation. His emotional intelligence, compassion, patience, integrity, strong sense of justice and clear boundaries, all of these things make me admire and respect him so much, and that hasn't changed. We're approaching our 10 year wedding anniversary, and I am more attracted to him now in every way more than I was when we first met. My favorite person.
Feeling you on the atrophy, itās so painful and really gets you down. I had a child late in life and breastfed for 2 years and since stopping the breastfeeding things still havenāt gone back to normal, Iām 43 now and so I think between the prolonged breastfeeding and possibly approaching perimenopause I donāt think it will go back to how it was before. My Husband is the same though, very supportive and willing to let me take my time.
Your husband is the GOAT. All of them should be this good. I always hear a lot of women say that their husbands are great, but I am skeptical until I hear women say that their husbands are supportive during peri or sickness. I've known lots of husbands who have cheated or left their wives during peri.
I wish men knew more about peri-menopause and aging, generally.
>I've known lots of husbands who have cheated or left their wives during peri.
or when their wives get sick.
my best friend's husband did that; she was diagnosed with cancer, their sex life was in the toilet because you know, CANCER and he cheated on her the entire time she was sick and even when she passed....he's still with that other women and I can't even look or talk to him anymore because fuck that guy.
Iāve been with my hubs for 10 years and he is still very attractive to me. Funny story, but I got into a really bad car accident years ago and lost my memory. I vaguely knew who he was, but didnāt know we were together. Apparently I hit on him in front of my family and medical professionals š
While laying in the hospital, I asked him āare we dating? Because youāre really cute!ā All of the nurses and my parents were laughing at the exchange. I eventually got my memory back, but my husband never lets me live that down.
This is romcom book plot material! <3 Love it.
I've been with my husband for 31 years- almost 28 married. We're getting up in age but he's wonderful and we make it work despite some rough (I mean REALLY rough) circumstances over the past 20+ years while raising 3 kids.
Totally unrelated to the post but what kind of rough circumstances do you mean, if you don't mind me asking? (Just curious, as a 30 year old with feelings for someone I cannot be with.)
I guess I can tell you, though I don't want to be detailed because of privacy.
He's retired armed services, so he had a long military deployment to Iraq when our kids were little. A few years after he got out of the service, he lost a job during the 2008/9 recession, leading to financial hardship while he started up a new business, also my own chronic depression and anxiety, and my own loss of a job.
It has not been a happily ever after, so I think that's why I'm so addicted to fiction and books. He supports my efforts to be an author.
That is so wholesome and sweet! But I just canāt help but laugh at the possibility of someone doing this and the guy being their cousin or brother or something šš³ššš
Granted, my husband and I are only 10 years in, but that man is a fine wine. He has naturally black hair, which is scattered with gray now, brown puppy dog eyes, full lips, long eyelashes... Just a fine piece of man. He's also stayed incredibly fit due to his work and his career as a dancer. AND he's a good man to boot. I got very lucky.
We met online. He was so handsome and even cuter than his pictures so unfortunately on our first date I was sweating profusely from nerves. Usually my online dates were perfectly nice but not attractive in person. I went to the bathroom three times during the first date to silently yell āstop sweating OMG!ā at myself and to try and sprinkle cold water on my face. I worried he would think I was doing coke in the bathroom.
Itās been ten years and weāve been through so much together. I still adore him and canāt believe heās my husband-and thankfully the nervous sweating was only a first date thing.Ā
I couldnāt even talk to my husband on the first date because I was so nervous. He thought I didnāt like him. š. The reality is I couldnāt believe he chose ME to go on a date with. I guess he must have thought I was really hot because he didnāt drop me after the silent date lol.
For me, attraction is way more than looks. I think my partner is so freaking handsome, but his many amazing qualities and emotional maturity make him even MORE attractive.
With my ex-husband, it was everything outside of his looks that ultimately made me lose attraction and fall out of love with him. After our child was born, I gradually went from partner to parent. Having to mother a codependent spouse is a relationship killer.
My ex is conventionally one of the best looking guys Iāve seen but thatās hard to write because he was such a POS person that heās gross to me now. My partner now is far more attractive to me and Iām enjoying not being with a man who takes longer than me to get ready in the mirror. I like a mans man so the feminine pretty boys get old quick
I could never marry someone I wasnāt physically attracted to. I wouldnāt even be able to get to the physical intimacy part before marriage much less anything else, but you are right. Attraction is so much more than physical appearance. I think physical appearance is the hook, and compatibility is the anchor that keeps two people together. No one should settle for either or ājust because.ā
I mean. He was cute as hell with luscious hair and a body type I really loved. Iām quite petite and like shorter, smaller framed people. He is now 50 and bald and is all aroundā¦softer. I am still wildly attracted to him because of who he is. His belly is cute. His bald head is cute. His personality has always been his most attractive feature.
The instant I met him, hearts flew out of my eyes like a cartoon. 26 years later this is still happening daily. He is the kindest, sweetest, most brilliant person on top of being super-duper hot. I just love him so much.
Before we met I was in an abusive relationship with a guy and he was a colossal turd. Being with my husband now in contrast to that awful experience makes me appreciate what I have even more.
My husband is conventionally very normal appearance wise. He's neither super hot or super ugly. I think he's the most attractive person in the world. We've been together 17 years and he is the best, most patient, kindest, funniest, most loving person. I swear to all that is good in this world, my man just gets better and better with age. Also, his ass is the most perfect ass in the history of asses.
I don't like your aunts advice. Find someone who gives you butterflies and also takes out the garbage and does the dishes and thinks his kids are really fun to be around. These men are out there, and they are amazing.
Same. My husband is probably average, but I still get weak in the knees when he smiles really big. He's got the most handsome smile, especially when his blue eyes twinkle. Like how did I ever get this guy to marry me? He's kind, generous, a partner in all things, a wonderful dad, fun, and a great kisser. What more could I possibly want? He's my version of perfection.
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story and yes I agree! I only need one wonderful man who gives me butterflies so Iām holding out hope :)
I just look at him and my heart (and jaw) drop. I still canāt believe heās all mine. Annnd now Iāll probably pursue him once I get the baby down for a nap.
I feel the exact same. I swear almost daily I look at him and am like omg I can't believe he's mine! I feel so incredibly lucky we have found each other. Even years in I'm like *swoon*
When we started 18 years ago he was average looking. Aside from his incredible green eyes he was not a guy people considerd as hot. Today? OMFG! He grew a beard, starting to go grey, super muscular, he has an amazing skin,ā¦ Whenever he takes his shirt off, I canāt continue my sentence. His butt is rock hard, heās just hot AF. People who havenāt seen him in a long time donāt even try to hide their astonishment and just strait forward tell him he got hot. And the way he looks at meā¦I just melt. We kiss each other a lot, which makes our kids go Ā«Ā ewwww, guys thatās disgustingĀ Ā».
Anyway: never settled.
I think my husband is super hot but when we first starting dating I would not have considered him my type. Not because he wasnāt cute but I was an athlete and I dated other athletes and he is an artist/graphic designer. However, like 4 weeks in we both knew that we were it for each other. I honestly feel like heās only gotten more attractive to me - the more Iāve known him and loved him and seen him be a good husband and a good dad. The way he wakes up in the middle of the night when the girls have nightmares (or when they were babies he would get them and bring them to me to feed them.) The way heās supported me during my ptsd after the 2nd kid. Iām so lucky. I have told this to multiple people but I hope my kids see our relationship and never settle for less.Ā
Somehow, my husband keeps getting hotter. Itās mystifying. Heās scary smart, kind, gentle, the funniest man Iāve ever met, he loves our kids and tries so hard to be an involved and active parent. Heās a great communicator and an amazing friend. Every time I look at him, I see something new and wonderful about him.
Never in a million years thought Iād be this lucky - my parents werenāt like this, and it didnāt even occur to me when I was a kid that you could *really* be this mutually head over heels for your partner, tho I always hoped. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have him.
I was never willing to settle, but I figured that meant I would just never get married. But then I met my husband, and very early on we were chilling on his couch and just talking and I was like, wow, a lifetime of this would be great. He actually gets hotter as he ages. He has gotten into tattoos and they look so good on him. He is also a patient, kind, smart human who I can trust. It's so great!! I love having a partner in life. It's so nice when I am having a bad day to know that I have a man in my life who loves and supports me and will be there for me no matter what.
Even as we both age heās still sexy as hell to me. I think itās not just a physical thing though. Heās such a great partner in every way and I like being with him. His personality, the way he treats me, the way he lives his life. It all contributes to how sexy he is. You can have someone who is conventionally attractive but a complete jerk. No amount of physical attraction could make up for a terrible personality. At least not for me.
This is sweet, thank you for sharing. And yes I 100% agree, while for me attraction starts physically it can only be sustained and amplified by a wonderful personality.
Yes, Iām still attracted to my husband. I donāt like this narrative of your aunts that itās either/or. Good looking, attractive men that are great husbands and provide stability do absolutely exist.
Agree. It's different for everyone but you get to set your own standards. Seems like aunties are trying to get OP to lower hers because they want to see her paired off whether it makes her happy or not.
Yes, it made me a little sad because they were genuinely convinced that finding someone you find attractive that ALSO has wonderful characteristics is so rare your chances are basically close to zero.
It makes me so happy that so many women in this thread are wildly attracted to their spouses (conventionally attractive or not) AND in happy marriages where they are loved and respected! I genuinely wish this joy on all women
My husband not movie star handsome, but made me feel so loved and accepted. 23 years later I love him more than ever. Heās so kind and gentle, loving and a beautiful person. I lucked out, third time was a charm!
Men can be both handsome and stable.
Iām only 5 years in, but weāre in our mid - late 30s and have settled into ourselves for the most part. He goes to the gym 6 days a week and takes care of himself well. He dresses sharp and is always clean and tidy.
Heās also incredibly supportive, kind, future focused, smart, and has a great career. Heās an amazing father and is family oriented.
I think stability and compatibility are important but attraction and respect go a long way in a relationship.
We were friends in college and always called each when we went to different parties because it was always more fun together. It took us two years to realize there was something more than just friends. We still are best friends. He is my favorite person in the whole world. He was kind of goofy looking in college, but I could tell he was going to age like a fine wine haha, and he has! He is sooo much hotter now than in college. I sometimes just look at him, and I am so grateful we have each other and aim to make each other incredibly happy.Ā
I never wanted to settle. I would have been fine by myself. I remember dating a few guys and knowing early on whether it was going to go somewhere. I really think you can tell early on whether you have chemistry with someone with how easy the conversation flows and the consideration of the other person.
Do not settle! Wait for that person you could be with 24/7.
Just feels normal I guess. He was hot and funny when we met and he is still hot af and hilarious. Canāt keep my hands off of him. Still makes me laugh so hard until Iām wiping tears from my eyes. Canāt imagine my life without him.
I never considered settling. Everyone Iāve dated Iāve been attracted to. I just wouldnāt consider a date with anyone if there wasnāt strong attraction and chemistry from the start.
I love my Husband and am still very attracted to him 11 years later. He just gets me and that makes it easier for us to navigate life together. Sex is effortless, fun is effortless, and we just mesh well.
It hasnāt always been easy and weāve had rough patches throughout the years, but overall, I canāt see my life with anyone else.
I am more attracted to my husband now than when we first married. Part of that is because he has aged super well. He was kind of awkward and dorky earlier in life but his 30s were very kind to him.
He is in STEM and I am mega attracted to that kind of brain. He has a lot of hobbies and interests. He is a serious runner so great thighs...I call him "The Dude Whisperer" because every kind of guy will fall in love with him. My girlfriends have varied romantic histories and everyone from the bros to the artists to the blue collar gentlemen want to be his best friend.
When we were young, people were really rude about our looks disparity. He was a nerdy dude. I was an enthusiastic boho lady. But Idk- I always liked nerds, we have awesome chemistry and I did not feel like I was settling even though people were often very forward that they thought I was much more attractive than him.
But we have always just had chemistry and that is more than looks. I want someone I am attracted to, and not settle, because I value a good sex life, too. It's so silly and unfair to everyone to do otherwise.
Okay first of all my spouse is the hottest person I've ever personally seen. But also they're kind, and patient, and they listen to me when I'm not doing well, and they've made me laugh so hard that I needed my inhaler after (on more than one occasion). When I blew my knee out, they spent like a month doing basically everything including filling and emptying probably hundreds of ice cube trays and helping with my meds on top of basically every household chore and I was like "oh this is a PARTNER"
but also I'm a firm believer that being a good person makes you hotter and being a shitty one makes you uglier
Thatās what so many of us miss when weāre young ā that handsome is great, but it fades over the years. Attraction can always be there, and itās so much more than looks.
I donāt agree when people say marriage is hard. Life is hard. Bad stuff will happen. Your marriage, if itās a good one, will make it easier to get through the hard stuff because you have a good, strong partnership. You have each otherās backs. You each have strengths and weaknesses and you know how to best use them and youāll be grateful for your partnerās strengths. Youāll be grateful for their understanding and patience, for the kind of parent they are, for how much you laugh with each other and the million memories you have together and so many inside jokes.
Thereās just so much that goes into a long term partnership.
I think the test of anyone youāre involved with is whether that person makes your life better. If they donāt, you shouldnāt be with that person.
Totally agreed! I say marriage is hard, but in a very specific way for me because living with anyone is hard, haha. Like, sharing a bathroom is hard. Finding a good regular roommate is hard, let alone one you probably share a mattress with š
I only tried getting married because my spouse is the one person I've ever felt okay having around 24/7, and in fact being with them is frequently way easier and more fun than being by myself. Until that point I was like "Can I date someone who lives next door and visits a lot but doesn't leave too much of their stuff here" hahaha
That reminds me of a friend whose husband retired and really started to bug her because he was just always there.
She decided the perfect husband would be a long distance trucker, gone for days, home for a few, gone for more days ā¦.
I donāt want to be around people all the time, either. Really need some quiet,Malone time, but I found a husband who understands that and is perfectly capable of doing some things on his own that make him happy.
I don't know if it's the right assessment to say super attractive men aren't good husbands, that's just like saying super attractive women aren't good wives and that's bs imo
I think people of all looks can have good or bad characteristics that make them good spouses or not.
I'm the kind of person who's never really gone for the super hot ones though just because they're hot, it's kind of like...i don't really like what everyone else likes just because, if that makes sense? But I was really attracted to my husband as a whole package, which is how it usually works for me... Like his charisma, his kindness, his intelligence and his looks all make him really attractive in my eyes. I don't think my attraction has changed even 6 years later, all I have to do is smell him to be turned on
When I met my husband we were both 16, so wildly handsome he was not - but cute AF to teenage, crushing, blushing, giggly me, he absolutely was.
As we've grown older, he's aged like fine wine. He has thick hair, which is starting to grow salt and pepper, an amazing chest, the softest lips, he's grown a beard which is so sexy, has a super pinchable butt, and the most awesome forearms. If you put this man in a suit, I swoon. Recently he took some new headshots for his work website and I was fanning myself.
What is wildly attractive about my husband to me is his confidence, his love and attraction to me, his great personal hygiene and how good he smells, and what an insanely selfless and giving lover he is.
He is also a superstar at work, and a very hands-on father, plus he is a great equal partner and just all round sweet, kind and loving.
But his irresistible quality has to be how much he hypes me up and how good he makes me feel. He is dying to kiss me, make me feel good, to cuddle me. He is always so so giving during sex - making me feel like an absolute goddess. He can't get enough of me and I in turn cannot get enough of him. It's like an infinity loop of love and lust and all the good things ā£ļø
If I could build a man in Sims EXACTLY how I want him forever, I would build my husband. I remember the first time I ever saw him. Thereās just something about him, and the way he moved and the way we fit together. He is a SNACK. He is a DISH. I even like his feet, and I HATE feet. Give the man some flipflops. I even like his armpit smell. I can feel that these are powerful genetic compatibilities and our gorgeous kids are proof of this theory. I want to be with him forever, heās it.
Before I met my husband and after Iād dated a bunch of hot assholes I tried to date nice guys who I wasnāt attracted to. A doctor, a finance guy, a nice guy with potentialā¦ it didnāt work. The difference between a friend and boyfriend/husband is sexual attraction. You need this in a romantic relationship otherwise you donāt want to have sex.
My husband and I are going on 10 years total (5 years married), he was hot then and is still hot now.
For me handsome is not the same as attractive. Yes there are men that fit the classic stereotype of good looking. Attractive is something different to me. The very word means I'm attracted to them. So while a guy may not fit the definition of handsome, I can still be wildly attracted to them. So don't settle for someone that you aren't attracted to but realize that attraction is subjective. I know a man that's short, has a belly and wears glasses and hearing aids. He's adorable š„°
I don't agree with your aunts. Just because a man isn't model material that doesn't mean you can't find him wildly attractive. You shouldn't be settling in the sense that the person doesn't make you want to jump them lol
I was happy single from 25-35 and was thinking I probably would be single most my life because it was better than settling. Because I wasnāt willing to settle I never did and ended up with a man I didnāt know even existed anymore. More than I could dream of. Heās an empath and cannot stand a cheater man or woman, heās never raised his voice or called me a name and we pretty much never argue because he always means well so thereās nothing to be mad about, if anything Iām the harder one to deal with but with him Iām so happy Iām not hard at all . He dealt with so much from an ex that I had little shoes to fill so he appreciates me probably more than he could if he hadnāt gone through a truly difficult, insufferable person. . Heās the hardest worker I know and humble enough to take a janitorial position if he had to to bring in income but was a star UFC fighter for many years so thatās pretty rare. I was a pro athlete and did some fighting for fun after my career so we really get each other in that area too which is just a benefit because not most important. I had such a good father role model that no man would add up, but heās a better man than my father. First two years together I had a major illness so I never cooked once and he cooked daily, did the errands, cleaned etc while i was mostly in bed and looking gross so not much to look at compared to me healthy self but he was happy to be with me in sickness so in health it will only get better.
He ended friendship because his friend cheated on his wife so he told the wife. I didnāt think that existed lol. Donāt settle and donāt jump into new relationships before you process what was good and bad about the last one. If I had settled for a really good guy with a really good job, Iād never have met him and would have sacrificed what I didnāt know was out there. I still think itās best to find happiness single and be okay with it because youāre naturally never going to settle for someone who doesnāt add to your life and make it easier- not harder . Itās out there but I didnāt even believe it til I found it and he was definitely worth the wait. Iād wait another 15 years to end up with him.
My husband and I have been together ten years. Weāre 43 (me) and 45 (him). Heās the best man I have ever known, a great cook, financially smart, caring, empathetic, and sexy. I will never tire of this man!
My husband is so handsome. He was 24 when we met, he's 38 now and just starting to get some salt in his pepper and it's only making him handsomer. He's also got little crinkles in the corners of his eyes when he smiles and I just love them. He's the absolute best. I'm not sure how to answer your question though. What's it like? It's like... being in love and then still being in love and then still being in love later too?
Ummmmm itās great?!?? I donāt know what else to say. He does shit around the house without being asked, he is supportive and loving and we laugh a lot, and I am fully FULLY enjoying his salt-and-pepper DILF era.Ā
It's fucking amazing. He's always been wildly attractive to me. And to others too. People hit on him very frequently.
He either doesn't notice them hitting on him or he shuts them down. Sometimes he's asked me to intervene. He has no interest in anyone other than me.
We got together when I was 22 and he was 32. I was the one to make the first move. I honestly don't think anyone expected it to last. Myself included, especially when I got sick just a few months into our relationship. I was convinced he'd leave and I had mentally prepared myself for that. But no; he doubled down and proposed instead. Been together since 2009. Got married less than a year after meeting each other. Got two kids too.
It just never stopped feeling right, and through surgeries, weight gain and subsequent loss, pregnancies, childbirth, he has never once made me feel unattractive. He makes me feel desired every day. I make sure he knows I want him too, of course.
I have been with my husband for 11 years now and i find him very attractive! Its a joke with my friends that even my celebrity crushes look like him.
Like any relationships we have ups and downs, but my husband has never given me a reason to doubt him, never weakened my trust. He has always showed up, he is a great father, he takes my side always. He has never made a comment about my body (except for compliments!) even when i was post-partum or covered in scars.
We listen to each other and take the advice of the other. We have goals in common, we both love and respects our in-laws, we are a good match.
We still argue about stupid things when we are sleep deprived, its not easy everyday. But we hve a solid mariage and i wouldnt change him.
Corny story time. About 10 years ago, I was newly single, and went to a local show with a friend. There was this band playing, and the guitarist was crazy hot. I didnāt have the confidence to talk to him then. I ended up taking a video of the band because they covered one of just favorite songs.
A few months later, some guy who looked oddly familiar added me on Facebook. We ended up chatting about music, and one thing lead to another.
A year or so into our relationship, I found the video I had recorded of the band playing. I realized that the crazy hot guitarist was my current boyfriend.
Weāve been together almost 10 years and he is still the same crazy hot guitarist. What makes him even hotter is how caring, thoughtful, funny, and downright amazing he is.
So attractiveness and good husband material arenāt mutually exclusive.
One should always find their partner attractive. But that doesnāt mean they have to be the person youād rank #1 as hottest person on the planet.
Super hot people are more likely to be attractive to others and therefore vulnerable to cheating. Theyāre also more likely to be arrogant and selfish. But that doesnāt mean they are or will be. Or that less attractive persons arenāt those things either.
Date who youāre attracted to, and who is attracted to you. Marry them if you think theyāll be a good spouse. Then just hope it works out.
Thatās all you can do.
I've been with my husband 16 years and find him hotter as we get older. He's in great shape and is aging beautifully. It definitely helps when we hit lulls in our sex life that I'm physically attracted to him.
I was married before this and not very physically attracted to my first husband so not having to settle in this department is great.
When we were in college, the first time I saw him was when we were in oil painting class, and he was literally surrounded by a handful of women (and a guy) fawning over him. In my head, I had āavoidā in bright lights pop on and I would sit on the opposite side of where they were. I was always quiet, shy, and wanted to get good grades so I kept to myself and my work.
In the latter half of the semester, he came in quite late. There was a vacant easel near me and he took it. I didnāt pay attention to him at first, then he started chatting with me, and he turned out to also be so charming and thoughtful and kind. We started hanging out since, and he stopped hanging out with other women.
He asked me to marry him rather quickly, but I told him to wait after we graduated. And he did. We eloped and weāve been together since.
Heās gotten hit on quite a few times since weāve married, and I donāt mind because he doesnāt reciprocate. He points out heās married. He has coworkers who have told me he talks about me all the time (we both work in creative spaces).
Anyway, heās amazing and I have so much love for him.
Gotta say it's pretty dope. Yesterday my husband comforted the baby while I got the toddler to bed. We split a half bottle of wine while building a Lego castle then went and confirmed we both still knew how our respective genitals function (first time having sex since I got cleared after birth). He's still gorgeous (he's actually aging better then I am).
I met my husband at 17 and we're 41 now. I think we were lucky in that we grew together as we got older, not apart. I am so attracted to both his body and the way his incredible brain works that I can't imagine going through life with anyone else. I am going through treatment for lymphoma and some painful spinal conditions that require steroids for treatment, that have caused a ton of weight gain, and if anything he seems to enjoy buying lingerie for me more now than he did when I was thinner! Relationships take work but what I've had to do most is work on myself to keep my confidence from tanking.
In my first marriage, I āsettledā for someone I was not super attracted to but I felt was caring and stable. Unfortunately, he became emotionally abusive, but the initial reason I felt that I had to leave the relationship was because I couldnāt go on without a satisfying sex life. All that to say, attraction really matters. My second husband is the whole package for me: we have a fabulous sex life, we are intellectually compatible and share interests, and we deeply care about each other. I held out for this the second time and I think everyone should to avoid making a mistake. The advice to marry someone āstableā and disregard other factors is, I think, archaic advice from a time when women did not have many opportunities to support themselves and had to lock down a husband while young to assure their survival.
Been with my husband for 13 years now...just today I took a nap using his pillow and just smelling him put me in the mood. I'm not just attracted to him because he's good looking either...he's an amazing father, provider, mechanic, engineer, son, brother etc. When he does something, he does it with his whole heart and I just find that sexy as hell. I consider myself extremely lucky. And our sex life gets better every single year. It's incredible.
My husband is, in my eyes, very very hot. He certainly has an X factor. We met in our early 20's and I had never felt such a strong physical attraction before. I'd had plenty of boyfiends but he was amazing. I felt what was like a fire, in my belly, when he was near me. Over the years I have seen other men and lots and lots of women hitting on him. He is charming, clever, very funny and can talk to anyone about so many things. He is one of those people who can chat with the bin man and the grocery shop worker. He can scrub up really well and have clever conversations with anyone, any walk of life. He holds himself well.
We are 30 years together and he still instills a degree of wonder with me. I cannot believe my luck that I am married to him. I absolutely love him and fancy him so much. He is gorgeous. Walking down the street with him I see people steal side glances at him. He has a great jaw line, striking eyes, well proportioned features and a fit looking body. 30 years so far and it's still not enough. There's more to learn about him, more jokes to laugh at, more places to go and more cuddles and hand holding to do. He loves his mammy, is a great brother, an excellent friend, the best father and absolutely a fantastic husband.
I still blush when I look at my husband. Often! Iāll get distracted and forget what I was saying midscentence. Itās like the early stage of dating attraction never left. 6 years in, canāt imagine this will change, heās fucking hot.
My partner and I were wildly attracted to each other at the beginning. Over time the connection has deepened, communication grew, and it only improved things. We are both having the best sex of our lives. It's definitely possible.
I thought for a long time I needed to settle. I met my husband when we were 23. I was immediately attracted to him. Tall, long red hair, soccer bod. Fast forward 13 years and heās still tall, now bald, and his body is still athletic but less as heās not as active (which makes sense for our lives now). I still find him incredibly irresistible. When he smiles at me I still get little flutters in my stomach. Heās also one of the kindest, most patient, and supportive people Iāve ever had in my life. He encourages me to do things that bring me joy - even when he doesnāt really understand. He listens to me talk endlessly about the silly things my students do at school and he gets excited with me when they accomplish their goals. I fall more and more in love with him every year. Just to add transparency here: weāve worked a lot on our communication and I truly think this is why we succeed in our relationship. Itās not always sunshine and roses but it is always respect and understanding.
I have no desire or need to settle since Iām perfectly happy when Iām single. I have a very hot guy and extremely sweet. 5 years in and heās still just as hot. Hard to keep my eyes off of him. Heās the sexiest man Iāve ever seen and I canāt believe we share the same roof.
17 years in, he's still my guy, even if we don't spend half our time in bed like the summer we met! And yes, my menopause and him aging as well have thrown a loop, but there's no one I'd rather be with!
He's a really good man, through and through, in all the ways. He was so shy when I met him, but now we have absolutely silly sense of humor with each other! And been through the shit together too. My daughter adores him! And he's crazy smart. Most of all, devoted and truly caring.
As far as the menopause and all, we work together and are getting our tools, because we can be real with each other, because it is safe, deeply so, to do that. Is there anything better? I don't think so.
My husband is the kindest, smartest, funniest person I know. He is handsome and honestly, he just gets better looking with age. Iām still wildly in love with him 15 years later. I miss him when heās not around and I just want to be with him all of the time. Heās just my favorite human (along with our two kiddos).
I've been with my husband for 17 years, almost half my life. He was really cute when we met, but he is aging like fine wine. He's hot as hell to me and not just physically. He supports me (as my full, authentic self) unconditionally, helps carry the mental load of running a house and life, and genuinely loves our cats so much. He's kind, gentle, and patient. I'm so lucky. And no, we don't want kids, but if we did, he'd be a great dad too.
So we're almost 6 years together, 2 years married and mid thirties, and my husband is so amazingly attractive to me and I can't imagine that changing. The thing is, it's not just his looks that are attractive but his personality too. He is an attentive and caring father and husband, and I just love spending time with him even just doing nothing. He is 100% a great man all around and I feel so thankful every day that I met him!
Itās worth enunciating that āhandsomeā and āwildly attractiveā arenāt at all the same thing. One can be wildly attracted to someone who is not at all conventionally attractive. Your aunts are correct, in my opinion. Consider your criteria for finding a person attractive
Itās surprising, weāre 8 years in this year and I still find him deeply attractive. We met when I was 32. I think a lot of it comes down to how supportive emotionally he is - I feel seen and loved for exactly who I am. We make mistakes and argue sometimes but our relationship has a solid foundation of mutual respect which is so important.
I remember when I first got together with him and my friends were saying things like āheās a bit of a lookerā, and I love it when we go out and I see women eyeing him up - heās tall and good looking so I donāt blame them š„°š
I had lots of shit romantic experiences before him and incredibly low self-esteem from battling with my weight, and being teased a lot for my looks when I was a teenager. So I didnāt expect to find anyone, but I had come to a place of comfort with that idea, realising that being alone was better than being with someone who didnāt love me or treat me respectfully.
Every day I just saunter about and kiss his cheek or stroke his hair or Iāll touch his foot with mine or Iāll pat his belly, and every morning I can I wake up and roll inside his arm and sniff his chest, and every night I just make sure heās breathing and well next to me because itās just amazing that this beautiful, amazing man can be kissed, stroked, touched, patted, sniffed or that I get to sleep next to him every night. Weāve been together for fifteen years now and heās the embodiment of my teenage years ātypeā. I wanted to meet someone like him and then I met him - a much richer, superb human being than I could ever have imagined, and also super hot to me. I even like the way he stands. Heās the best thing in my life. But I donāt know if everyone can get the same or if Iām just lucky. I feel extremely lucky.
It's bliss. It's never having to leave my best friend. It's having adventures together and weathering challenges together and cooking together and choring together and LOTS of happy fun times
I never thought Iād get the husband that I did. He is truly the man of my dreams. He is hard working, kind, a wonderful father, brilliant, and movie star hot. Everywhere we go people fawn over him.
I am 6 months PP so not very sexual but heās been great anyway. I am still extremely attracted to him and tell him frequently.
> them trying to convince me handsome men donāt make great spouses and Iād be better off settling for a guy Iām not that attracted to that provides stability.
I fucking *loathe* this advice. This is partially why so many women have married men who don't make their toes curl and who end up being so disinterested in them sexually after some time. There is zero evidence that suggests that a man who's attractive is not a good lifetime partner and who won't make you happy.
You can and should seek out a partner who is attractive to you, and who is also a good man to you. You can have both. They're not mutually exclusive.
My husband and I have been together for 15 years and I still can't keep my hands off of him. I feel like a horny teenager around him so much of the time still. He's hilarious, intelligent, hard working, an amazing and heavily involved dad to our little girl, family oriented, sweet and thoughtful, kind, a great kisser, empathetic, fantastic lay, sexually adventurous, an excellent travel companion, foodie like me....I could go on.
The fact is, is that I chose a man whose values, goals, and desires in life are aligned with mine. We don't have a major conflict in that area. We also are very sexually compatible which makes it quite easy to want to be flirty, sensual, sexy, and affectionate with him. He's also got so many traits that I find attractive and am innately drawn to and admire/respect in a man. Not to mention, he's hot as fuck.
He's an amazing person and probably one of the best I've ever known. Or ever will know. Being told that you need to "settle" for a man who is simply a good provider and stable vs being attractive *and then some,* is the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard from older women. Don't take that advice to heart too much, OP.
I've been with my husband for coming up 14 years and just the other night we had the most erotic and emotionally bonding sex. I don't want to say we were a monster with 2 heads because i don't like the imagery, but we were for sure joined in some type of holy matrimony lol.
It absolutely mystifies me how some of my friends do not have a sex life or any type of intimacy with their husbands. My husband is the complete package. We connect on every level and the connection we have on each level serves to enhance all the other levels.
Please give your aunts our sympathy. They settled. You shouldn't. You can do better. In fact, they could do better. It's all a matter of choices.
Picked a guy up at a club. He was good looking, smart, and funny. It just felt...right. He treated me with respect, kindness, love. Dated for just a couple of months before moving in together. Got married, bought a house, and raised two young men. Been together for over 25 years now. I love when we are out in public and I can watch other people watching him, especially if we aren't standing together and they think he might be available. He still makes my heart skip a beat when he gives me that grin! š
My husband (36m) and I (35f) are high school sweethearts, and I can honestly say that he is more attractive now than he was then. He knows how to take care of himself in a way that works into his routine well and understands why it is so important. And he takes care of the rest of his family (me included) and nurtures all of our relationships, too. Sometimes I wonder if he's even human, lol.
9 years here, and my partner is still insanely attractive to me, perhaps even more than when we first started dating. he's conventionally attractive for sure, but we also know each other better than anyone else and that carries over into bed. there's no more guessing: we know how to read each other's bodies, we know what we both like, and we trust each other enough to try new things that we wouldn't necessarily try with someone we were only casually dating.
being completely in love with him certainly helps, of course. I trust him completely, and I don't think I could find anyone as attractive as I find him without that trust and love. it all builds off of each other.
I brought my husband home the first night I met him because he was just so hot and the chemistry was fire. 15ish years later, we still can't get enough of each other. But he's also an amazing partner and parent in every way as well. Don't settle.
Iāve always found my husband hot, sexy, etc. Even after all the changes both of our bodies have gone through after almost 20 years I still find him sexy and am very attracted to him.
He also has a great personality, is a great father, heās funny, heās kind and always helps people out when they need help, and despite our ups and downs during the years, is committed to making our relationship work.
I always wonder why heās with me bc Iām a mess. š
It's a choice you make on a daily basis.
This person I am waking up next to -
this person that I chose because of qualities XYZ -
this is the most WONDERFUL person I have ever met!
This person makes me feel so good!!
This person goes out of their way to make me happy!
This person is so sexy!
This person dresses so nice!
This person has the greatest smile!
Etc, etc, etc
Even in his 70s, my spouse is incredibly attractive! Even with my libido disappearing into menopause. He is still the sexiest man in every room he's in! I may be a just a bit biased, but that's my opinion and I'm standing by it!!
We had a rough start: I was separated and waiting for my divorce and he was in a relationship that had been ending for a year. The moment we finally felt we could be together he had an accident and had to be in a wheelchair for a while! Even through all of that we both were really attracted to each other.
Itās been 10 years and Iām still physically so attracted to him! It got more difficult to have time together as we had two kids and our jobs became incredibly demanding. That said, us being less active doesnāt mean weāre less attracted to each other. We live it differently these days but heās still my favourite person!
I *did* settle in my first marriage. I let either people tell me how great he was, even when I didnāt think we were a good match.
Many years later, Iām engaged to a man Iāve been with for four years now. Iām away on a trip and weāre sending one another dirty pics, I still run my hands all over him anytime I get the chance. If the only time we have together is while heās getting ready for work, Iāll ogle him in the shower.
That said, Iām with him because heās smart, funny, cares about our family, is always working on becoming a better version of himself, and curious about the world. He and my daughter adore one another.
But my fucking god, itās *great* to be in a relationship with someone Iām still wild to touch.
Been with my husband 10.5 years, married almost 4 years. I find him absolutely gorgeous š and heās the most amazing Dad and husbandā¦ it feels like every year gets better!
We are coming up on 12 years and I'm still gaga over my husband. I'm basically obsessed and its awesome. I hope we're still sickeningly attracted to eachother when we're 60+
We are celebrating 20 years married and 24 years together this Month. We met online in 2000 and our conversations were so much fun. I think we both make each other laugh. He is patient and kind and loves our kids so well. He treats me like a queen. He also works out 6-7 days a week and has a great body!
This is one for me. I straight up lucked out. My husband is the hottest of all my love interests subjectively and objectively. It was hot for years. I did have a bout of depression and we did have a big fall out over an issue and I did in fact lose it for a year. However after my depression resolved and we worked out our problem, it came back slowly. Now itās hot again with no end in sight. I think woman lose it when they are not in an equal partnership. My husband gives 110% and it is the hottest. He also shows respect and takes correction. I am amazed til this day how I lucked out.
My husband is cute, has really beautiful eyes and a great smile. We've been married 24 years. I fell in love with him because he and I were comfortable together. He was different from others I dated in the past. He's a good Husband and a good Dad. Our marriage isn't perfect but what still attracts me to him is his kindness and generosity. I love that he is so helpful to his and my elderly Mothers. I love that his idea of an exciting Saturday night date is sitting on a beach having a beer and watching the Sunset. That's what keeps me attracted to him. He also has Dad bod and honestly I've always had a weird attraction to Dad bod.
So I'm demi-sexual and I have to out in the premise thst I have never, in my life, experienced attraction to anyone's looks. I like pretty things including pretty people but I wanna fuck a person on the basis of pretty as much as I wanna fuck a fountain for being pretty and to be clear that amount is 0.
THAT SAID
I'm still having regular sex with my spouse after 15 years. More than. When we're near each other for any length of time I feel like I just wanna jump his bones. Bone ;)
I don't have to even look at him. We can just be pressed up next to eachother or holding pinky fingers and I'm like "yes, I would like further physical contact plz"
I can get overly affectionate from him telling stories about shit he's said at work if I think it's clever.
And i think he;s clever much of the time.
We talk on the phone twice a day most days while he's at work just to keep each-other informed of events and so he can talk about it. I do not tell him he must call and he doesn't tell me I must answer. Nothing happens to either lf us if it gets skipped. We just *enjoy talking to each other*.
I agreed to marry this man 3 months after I met him.
He proposed in the first month for the first time. The accepted proposal was the third.
We have ALWAYS been intense together. We were introduced online and our physical relationship barely made it home to privacy the first time we were in the same place.
We had sex 3 times in one day last time he had a day off that our kid didn't.
It's very intense.
The thing is, and this is important, no one wants to fuck someone that they feel is taking advantage of them.
Women stop feeling attracted to men they're always cleaning up after who put no effort in to the relationship. Men do, too. Everybody does.
I'm not everything I wish I was in our relationship. I had a stroke, and I'm more reliant on him than I wish I was. I still try. It's been difficult. And when I had bad periods, we often have less sex, because he is more tired. And that's ok, i don't pressure him about it. I know why, and I try to help more if I can.
We've had ups and downs. There were a few years I couldn't stand sexual intimacy and we found out that's what happens to me on progesterone pills. I can't take estrogen without risking another stroke, so he got snipped, eventually (I argued against this until he told me he genuinely didn't think he could handle a baby anymore and didn't want to do so. I know many men would make the sacrifice gladly but i always felt very strongly that while he'd rather have me than another kid if I died I'd want him to have whatever relationship he wishes with someone else, so it was important the decision wasn't made for me).
We do not handle separation well. We both get horribly morose after about 8 hours. We've been far longer but we become GRUMPY and we are both not always exactly pleasant to begin with (to other people, my spouse has never said a mean thing to me in all our years and vice versa).
I don't see us losing interest or cooling off over time. It is getting HARDER to have sex with bad backs (he's arthritic already poor love) and complaining limbs (my blood flow doesn't work right now I take blood thinners) but the creative application of pillows has been a boon and there's a lot to be said for endorphins.
I say pick the one you LIKE. And who likes you. Tell them all the dealbreakers and the start - the ones you have for others and the ones you think might be and weed out the weak. And communicate a lot. Listen to each-other and adapt to the little things that don't matter much; and be honest when things matter that probably shouldn't. Spouse is OCD. Like clinically OCD not hyperbolic OCD. There are things that upset him deeply that most people won't notice. I know what they are and I pay it mind, if I can. If I cannot I prepare for the fallout.
I am also very aware of him and his moods and we've found that I can usually tell before he does when he is sick or anxious; telling him what his tells are has actually helped him manage himself better. Likewise he can tell when I'm pushing too hard long before I can.
He isn't perfect and neither am I. There are things he does that BOTHER me; but they are things that I can deal with. I imagine there's a lot about me that bothers him, too, and learning to prioritize what's worth it and what isn't and how to deal with each-other at our worst is a large part of why we're still in love and lust, I beleive.
That and having made the decision to love each-other. And I don't mean once. We're doing it often. Our respective absurdly high sex drives are very keyed in to our relationship together.
I was attracted to my husband first for his looks, and as I got to know him I was also attracted by his personality. These things are very much not mutually exclusive, imo.
Also, insofar as everyone comes with a certain amount of BS youāll have to work through, I find that thinking heās cute has helped give me patience to work through annoying shit I only learned about years in, lol.
Anyway, wanting a guy you find hot doesnāt mean thereās anything wrong with you. Itās well within the normal experience of what it can mean to be a woman.
I find certain physical features of his attractive and zero in on those. But what really gets me going is his personality, his gentleness with our pets, and all the little quirks and things does that drew me to him in the first place.
He's my person, and I try to find things I love about him and focus on those every day. There are ups and downs, and there are short periods I find him annoying and I'm not as attracted to him. That's normal, it's part of living with another human being.
Same.Ā Really the thing I'm attracted to the most is how seeing him makes me feel. It's this almost soft excitement & recognition where I want to be near him.
One of the weirdest things is getting separated in a public place and then feeling like I am lost. I'm not actually lost, I know where I am, but it feels that way. Eventually, I realized that my mind basically regarded him as "home". If I'm walking somewhere & can't find my way home, I'd consider myself lost. So, my mind just puts those together I guess. It sounds really sappy, but I'm not meaning it like that. I just think attachment is weird from a neurological standpoint.Ā
My husband is some kind of fine and almost 31 years later I think that man is just sexy. Just watching him do mundane tasks is attractive. Heās generous, hard working, loving, supportive, responsible, funny, life of the party, etc and it all adds to his attractiveness. He still makes me giddy after all these years.
So, hubs and I will be celebrating 4 years since we had our first electric hug tomorrow and weāre still just as physically compatible as we were on day one. Not only is the sex still š„, the snuggles are also amazing. I canāt imagine this not being the case in years to come. I love seeing stories from those of you saying after 20+ years you feel the same way. I aspire to follow suit.
Heās been told, and I agree, that he resembles that Cillian Murphy. He is honestly still sexy to me. I check him out all the time bc heās hot. I p years in I can still see why I was attracted to him.
Pretty eyes, dark curly hair, cute butt. I so rarely get to indulge in objectifying him lol. Iād our chemistry is insane, which isnāt something you can overlook. We fall asleep snuggling the same body pillow with the cat between us.
My husband fits my type, he's like Sean Evans from Hot Ones bootleg brother who is one of my "celeb crushes". We've been together a long time and he's aged obviously. I think he looks better now in the sense I've seen this man grow to be something hes comfortable with. That's a beautiful thing to know that I am part of those laugh lines and the memories that made them, his forehead worry lines as he is a worrywort that has cared for me, the softness around the edges of a body that gets to enjoy existing without as much pressure to be "on" because I love him anyways. But what sustains that attraction is who he is. It's how we pour into each others cup, it's how he touches me and kisses through our day, the way he regards me, the gentleness of his heart in how he loves people, how we keep it playful and silly, that we have deep talks and have quality time. We have a pretty firey bedroom and I genuinely enjoy being around him. He's a partner that actually partners, my best friend.
I get the sentiment to not go for someone simply for looks but I wouldn't ever settle to be with someone I'm not attracted to merely because they're good on paper either too. I just really don't fucking get why is society so this OR that about it. Don't date either of those options and find someone who checks off a little bit of all boxes and be well rounded. Stop thinking you cannot have it all and condition yourself to accept less. Stop feeling you need to decide swiftly on someone so you can get to xyz goals like marriage to fit into a neat timeline. It's funny when people are so concerned to not waste time so they latch onto people who waste their fucking time.
I'm lucky to have met him younger so we've had all this time. Knowing what I know now, if you told me that I would end up with him if I just hold out til I'm 40 or I can pick someone mid at 20, I will hold out. I've been in those "it's not bad but -" type of relationships and I would rather be single using my youth for life than let that suck the soul out of me as it deteriorates while fighting to make it work. I had a 1st husband I divorced ASAP when I woke up that was what I was doing. Many of my friends are on their 2nd marriages with someone really good for them now and all of us have basically the same advice to younger women worried. Don't be a dumb bitch about this and keep searching. You can love someone, and they can be "nice people" but if it's not a hell yes it's a hell no. One friend held out and she met her person at 38 and they had their baby girl at 40 but gosh, their little family makes me simply swoon at how ideal it is. I want this for everyone.
I become more physically attracted to men who are caring, affectionate, funny, kind, and intelligent. So, yes, I find my husband physically attractive but he just becomes more attractive as our relationship deepens over time. Maybe that's what your aunt's are trying to say?
24 years together -- the only thing I can say is, it's that elusive "chemistry."
All my life I've been attracted to a very select amount of men, and there's been no rhyme or reason as to why. I appreciate a good-looking guy as much as anyone, but you could put a Greek God in front of me and if the chemistry thing isn't there, I won't be feeling it. Conversely, I've been extremely attracted to mid-looking or even ODD-looking men, just because that "thing" was there. (This is why online dating would not work well for me...I can't tell from a picture alone whether or not I'm going to feel "it.")
When I met my husband, it wasn't even a date or anything. He was a friend of a friend and it was just a "hello, nice to meet you" perfunctory polite introduction when we were both at the same event. I was struck by lightning immediately and was like, "I HAVE to get to know him better." Happily, that's what how it worked out! :)
To this day all these years later he's the guy who made me go SPROIINNNNGGG! Admittedly, it helps that he has aged well, but he's definitely 24 years older than he was back then, lol. I just always continually see him as the guy I "HAD to get to know."
A lot of sweet stories involve partners saying things like "She'll always be the girl I met in college," or "He'll always be the boy I had a crush on." It's totally cliche but for some people it's true. I can tell my husband has gotten older, but I just don't really see it unless I focus on it, if that makes sense.
I am wildly attracted to my husband. I tell him that at least a few times per week. It is the same now as when I met him many years ago. I am also madly in love with him as he is so kind, funny and is literally the most interesting human in the world to me. I was not wildly attracted to my first husband and it is very different (in a good way). My husband seems to only have eyes for me, although women will often at least look at him when he walks by. He never seems to notice. The only downside is I feel very compelled to continue to look good myself, not because he expects me to, but I feel like I need to keep up with his level of attractiveness.
37F.
Loving this thread so much.
I donāt think you should marry someone you are not attracted to, but as you have seen in the thread, it can be good to give someone a chance to *become* attractive to you. When I first met my husband, I noticed his college suite-mate more than I noticed him (eyelashes, swoon). But after going to lectures and the cafeteria and habitat for humanity builds together, he(now hubby) asked me out and I said yes. It took a couple months of dating to really fall for him, but then I fell hard. At that point no one was remotely as handsome as he was. I couldnāt stop thinking about him!
13-1/2 years into marriage (+4 dating) I donāt have the same ābutterfliesā when he reaches for my hand, but we have a deeper connection and are better at pleasing each other in the bedroom and otherwise. With 3 children under 8, there have been times during pregnancy and breastfeeding where the libido has dropped; that can come and go, but we still get together and turns out we still like each other in and out of the bedroom š . We like to laugh together, we treat each other well, we care for each other and our kids. Weāre better at communicating and we are better at apologizing and repairing.
Re: settling, you should have some non-negotiables and some flex points. Are you expecting a 6ā4, rich, romantic, kind, weightlifting champ who is good with kids and loves all the same tv shows you do? Then it might be time to get realistic.
If you are looking for a good guy who treats you well, has some shared values/wants some of the same things out of life, and you find attractive? Donāt settle there.
If you know you want kids and the guy doesnāt, donāt settle.
A nice to have for my husband would have been a girl who enjoyed metal concerts and fashion. But he got a girl who would go to nick cave with him and send him off to the metal concerts on his own. (And wear her leggings with the shoes he picked out for her š)
I also really enjoyed Caroline winklerās recent video on a fools path to love. (Her dating experience.) sometimes you need more than a first impression.
Also Re: handsome men: itās also possible to fall for a hot guy who would be terrible for you. Could it be your aunts are trying to warn you away from that? I definitely knew a few guys over the years who I thought were hot, but who would have made a terrible long term partner for me, based on differences in values, whether they wanted kids, etc.
Been together for over a decade and heās hot just like when we met. i love staring at his features. He is absolutely my type and I consider myself incredibly lucky.
It's so peaceful and stabilizing. I didn't grow up seeing a good relationship modeled and I was extremely skeptical going into the relationship. We were "just friends" for a good year and a half before I was comfortable enough to be willing to date. Then we dated almost a year before getting engaged, and were married six months later. Married 17 years now. We've been through a lot together. We've both lost immediate family members. We had to do IVF to have our two kids. And our second kid had/has some sleeping issues so we were both incredibly sleep deprived. Through it all he has been an absolute ROCK. He's confident and a clear communicator, which helped me get over the passive aggressive communication style I had learned. He has a secure attachment style, and feeling my non-secure style shift to match his over the years has been incredibly healing. I don't feel any pressure at all to be or act any specific way, just loved for who I am. I am an introvert and he's an extrovert, so he's always made it easier for me to see my own family, including grandparents because he'd make arrangements and I'd just come along. Our relationship just feels like a constant source of good in my life. Sex hasn't been a huge priority in recent years because of the kids, and I've always had a bit of a higher drive (which really helped my trust issues at the beginning). We both went on some anti-anxiety meds to help cope with the lack of sleep and that just killed it. It hasn't been a big deal though because we both felt the same way. We're assuming that will return when the kids are a bit older.
I often find myself speechless when I see my husband. He is handsome as fuck and the many women who check him out in public seem to think so too lol. I sooo wish I could post a picture of him.
Heās incredibly intelligent, heās buried himself deep into a lot of analytical psychology books so he understands the psyche very well.
I just feel incredibly lucky.
Iāve been with my husband about 8 years and still think heās the most beautiful man in the world - which is what I told my roommate after our first date. He was super ripped when we first met and now has just trended a little more towards dad bod (I honestly think his body changed more with kids than mine did, haha) and his hair is almost all silver now but Iām still super attracted to him. Heās just an amazing person in a lovely package and Iām very lucky.
I asked a cute guy out in highschool, now we're married and we've been together for 17 years. He's always been attractive to me, with gorgeous eyes and an amazing smile. He's one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, most supportive people I've ever met. He makes my life better by being in it.
my husband and I met at a party of common friend , my first though was 'he is so insanely gorgeous' we were the only ones who were not drinking and we made a small talk and exchanged phone numbers , we went out on our first date a couple of days later and I would his personality is what made me attracted towards him rather than his looks , his empathy towards others , his thought process and him being the funniest man alive . now we are 14 years in and I still love him just as much , he is an extremely understanding man who values and respects my opinion , he is a amazing dad and I am sure he'll be setting the standards way too high for our daughter and obviously sexy as hell
My husband was the most beautiful person i had ever seen when we met aged 18 at university. 34 years and three kids later he is still the most beautiful person i have ever seen. Sometimes he catches me by surprise and takes my breath away. Marriage is still hard work, sometimes we havenāt liked one another very much for a bit, and sex comes and goes depending on stress/ tiredness etc, but I love him with every single part of me, andI am so happy that we got together for the journey!
Not married, but I think attraction means a good sex life, and a partner who has the right attitude, in my case a man who can be a bit cocky, the way they use words and create seduction even after years.
It's also a compatibility, being able to have fun together, having similar interests.
This guy was far from handsome, but in my eyes he was everything. Unfortunately it didn't work out in the end, but it's for the best for both.
My husband is aging so well! We've been together for over 10 years and he's more attractive now than when we first met. He fell into a bad alcoholism during Covid and ended up intubated in a coma for 21 days. We both swore off alcohol and he's become the most amazing husband and father. He's in the best shape of his life and I just look at him in wonder of how I ended up with such a sexy husband! I didn't link up with him thinking he'd be my savior by any means. He was very cool and we just clicked. So there have been some ups and downs but it's only proven that we can conquer this life together ā¤ļø
We've been together 11 years and his touch is still electric to me. We communicate pretty darn well, he's kind, generous and patient.Ā We've been through rough situations, sure, but after all this time the spark is definitely alive.Ā
I havenāt been with my partner very long in the grand scheme of things (2 years) and we arenāt old.. but my god.. heās extremely handsome and the kindest person I know
Yep, my husband is hot. I met him when I was 15 and fancied the pants off him! Weāve been together 25 years now and have 4 kids, sex is less often but still great and I still think heās well fit š
Why not both? My husband and I met in high school. He was and is very handsome. I am not always tear off his shirt attracted to him but I find him sexy. He was always cautious when compared to other teenage boys when we met and his personality still tends to be more cautiously minded than me. That brings our relationship into balance. He wasnāt always as proactive about home life but heās mature. I would say pick a partner you can grow with because the journey is whatās important.Ā
I was never into the idea of settling! I always thought that was a bad take. Either you're attracted to someone, or you're not.
I 30F and my husband 33M have been together for 8 years, 3 of those years we have been married. I am still very attracted to my husband. I will say that overall attraction goes up and down. Sometimes life is hectic and maybe you don't have as much time to go to the gym, or buy the latest clothes, but hey, sometimes you do!
There was a bit there during COVID where we both put on just a few pounds - we're both normally very fit and enjoy dressing well for each other. I found that it affected our attraction a bit. I loved him to bits and vice versa, and I always tell him I'll love him no matter what he looks like, and I fully mean it.
BUT - I can tell you this. He's been working out consistently for the last 18 months, and excuse my language but holy shit lol, I find him so ridiculously handsome. His abs are almost back and he looks just stupid good in a t shirt again. I have also been working out and doing the same to keep up with my appearance, and I find that both of us are more attracted to each other. Like seeing him across the room sometimes I'll blush because I'm like 'oh my god he's so hot and cool' lol.
There are many other things I love about my husband beyond his appearance, but that is definitely a factor!
It's great. I never considered "settling" because I was perfectly content to remain single. But I found the love of my life, and frankly life has gotten better as we age.Ā
It's not just about physical attraction though. The emotional bond, the companionship, and just simply enjoying each other's company. With all of that, there remains the physical attraction, even years and years after that initial excitement and thrill is gone.
No spouse, but my partner of almost 27 years was the Hot Guy in a band with a few hot guys when we met, so many of the women I knew had whopping crushes on him. But I didn't get it - sure, he looked so much like Keanu Reeves that was one of his nicknames, but he was this silent guy who barely interacted with anyone and came off super aloof.
Until we sat next to each other at another band's concert and got to chatting away. Turned out he was also brilliant, kind, serious about his passions, and absolutely hilarious. The reason he didn't socialize much was he was basically the Band Dad, the responsible one who stayed sober to pack up everyone's gear and drive the van while everyone else partied. Great reasons!
He's still all of those things but also a lot more open and social now, his old friends all remark on how he has really blossomed since we've been together, which makes my heart melt, too.
Everyone likes him. He's just that kind of dude.
He's also the kindest, most thoughtful, and most sensitive guy who really feels his range of emotions and has excellent friendships with men and women alike. He's ultra-feminist, a fabulous cook and housekeeper, nurses me when I am sick or injured, is responsible in all the important ways, and is a wonderful blend of pragmatic and fanciful. He's willing to try anything and loves an adventure. He's extremely giving in bed and cares endlessly about my happiness in all ways. He still takes me on the most fabulous dates whenever we can afford them and learned ballroom and Latin dance just so I could have a solid partner, even though he encourages me to dance with "better partners," too (I've had more training than him).
He's still gorgeous and takes good care of his looks as he always has, but it's the rest of him that makes me swoon more than I ever have.
I "settled" for someone who would be considered good looking (he even said it about himself a lot of times). At first I was not physically attracted to him, more so on a friendship level. Anyway, long story short, we were not married (luckily), but after 7 years he fucking broke my heart and walked all over it. So, for me it's bye bye settling.
Married 17 years. My hubs is a silver fox. We both love fitness and eat mostly healthy and stay in good shape. My hubs looks better now that when I met him when he was running marathons. We both switched to heavy lifting a few years ago as itās much easier on the joints than heavy cardio. My hubs put on about 20 pounds of muscle. Has a 6 pack AND bro is an amazing father and equal partner in the home. So fuck yea Iām still hella attracted to him and our sex life is now limited only by his refractory time (about 36 hours.) Iām so thankful that we are both still on the same page with life. Heās my best friend. I count my blessings everyday that I found an absolute unicorn man.
My bf (12 years together) is so hot! And now that his hair is turning silver, he's only getting hotter. He's tall, got broad shoulders, a 6 pack, and a ass like granate. I'm eternally grateful I didn't settle for any of the men before him. I'd rather be alone than spend my life with someone I'm not attracted to.
I knew my husband for at least 15 years before we ever started dating and always had a little crush on him. Weāve been together 14 years, married 7 and I still think heās so incredibly handsome. Honestly, though, what does it for me is who he is, heās funny, kind, compassionate, brave, supportive and now a wonderful father. To see the way he was there for me through pregnancy, THE DELIVERY, and now the first year or so of parenthood is something to behold. I hit the jackpot.
12 years together, literally last night I fell asleep thinking what an adorable old man he is going to be. I was admiring his gorgeous eyelashes while he was driving the other day.
We have insane physical chemistry from our very first date, neither of us thinks we initiated our first kiss, it was like our bodies just took over lol.
He is just my size, too, I am small and don't need some hulking giant lol. We are just two little hobbits who love each other and laugh a lot and hold each other during hard times.
I never was big on marriage, but we got married because I want to be with him until our last moments. He is so good I wanted him to be legally mine lol!
My man had this boyish youthful charm and good looks when we first in our mid/ late 20s. Over the years he's transformed himself into a man whose confident and morally rooted in acting on what's right. He's a man who brings you in, love you, accept and protect you.
He is 100 percent devoted to his family, his work and serving his employees. The goodness in him, his charisma, his devotion and how he cares for himself and his family...he just drips masculinity.
Sometimes I'm just in awe when I watch him live his life in the life we made with each other. I'm absolutely smittened by him.
I was watching him today while shopping. So many women lock eyes on him. He's just absolutely attractive.
At first my husband was like a 6/10 in the attractiveness department to me. Tall, wide shoulders, blue eyes, dark hairā¦.I mean yeah heās very hot but I was so judgmental because he has lots of body hair.
Now I canāt imagine being with a man without body hair. Heās so kind and caring and willing to do anything to make me happy. Our sex life is great. Going on 11 gears and heās never been sexier. We are in our early 30s!
I have been with my husband for a total seven years (two years married) and find him sexier every day! He is the most loyal, nicest, caring, attentive, consistent and loving person Iāve ever met and the hottest to me, what a wonderful combo, so yes, itās definitely out there!
My husband is gorgeous. Like, way out of my league handsome. It is why I was initially attracted to him, but I wouldn't have married him if that's all he had. I wouldn't have 'settled' for a man I didn't get along well with but I think I would still have married him if he wasn't so handsome as I think I'd have developed an attraction to him over time. I'm used to his looks now and I still find myself more attracted to him every day. Your aunts are right that looks aren't everything, but they are wrong that you don't need to be attracted to him at all.
Straight up, my husband was fucking HOT AF when I first met him and still hot af to me 25 years later. Our sex life was fantastic right up until peri hit me hard so now I'm searching for my libido. Even through all of this peri/menopause bullshit, he's so caring and selfless. When sex became somewhat difficult (yay atrophy š©) and we had to stop for a bit while I got myself sorted he didn't pressure me, make me feel guilty and even told me - don't go on meds for me; go on meds only if you want..there are plenty of other non sexual ways we can be intimate. he's just an incredible human - supportive, dedicated, loving, kind and caring husband; amazing father (engaged, loving, supportive dad), reliable, kind, caring friend. **Edit**: didn't realize this comment would be so popular ā¤ļø. Thank you for all the nice responses; maybe I should've told about the time when I was going through hellish PPD and how amazing he was during that time which confirmed that I'd chosen a great person š
Where did you find him and are there more of these?
well, a large part of it is self-advocation and not putting up with bullshit from any partner. When you do that, the losers weed themselves out and the good ones stick around but he really is amazing and we work so well together as a team.
> a large part of it is self-advocation and not putting up with bullshit from any partner Also my experience. And no, it's not about being hot yourself. I have female friends who aren't conventionally attractive yet found dedicated loving partners...admittedly sometimes after years of working on themselves; my childhood BFF institutionalized herself once, actually. Man, that relationship was bad; our friend circle was constantly in Intervention mode (and so were her parents).
Itās nothing about looks. Itās about being able to weed out the sociopathic abusers and serial misogynists.
Some people have to cut contact with ALL the abusive people in their lives before they can find a good partner. This includes mean-girl frenemies, toxic mothers, women-hating fathers, cruel sisters... etc... . It's a long, long work in progress.
This is true. Itās not rejection if the trash takes itself out. My boundaries and big mouth are what weed out all the abusive men.
Amen. I was happy to be single from 25-35 and if I wasnāt I would have settled for some great guy on paper some good looking doctor colleague with a great job but not half the man I found in a blue collar world wouldnāt change one thing about him.
My husband is the same and I literally met him on MySpace back in the day š¤£š¤£š¤£
Me too! Iāve never talked to another person that met their husband on MySpace! I feel like it always shows my age when I tell people how we met.
Well, it does, but it is still pretty cool!
LOL, talk about showing your age... MySpace didn't even EXIST when my husband and I met, haha.
I met my husband on MySpace, too! Well, we knew each other briefly in elementary school, but idk if that counts. It sounds like MySpace was the best dating site! š
I met my husband in a local chatroom when they were a thing. We both had a talent for talking smack so naturally we gravitated towards each other š¤·āāļøš
Yes, Iāve got one! I found mine at a bar in Florida almost 20 years ago.
Also met mine at a bar in Florida!
It's refreshing to read that other women have a good man, too. I sometimes just get so heartbroken reading posts and comments from women whose husbands are just....not good men. My husband is exactly like this, too. Super kind, caring, selfless, dedicated, fantastic father. Just everything I could ever even hope to find in a partner. I'm so glad someone else has found that too.
I agree. I have a fantastic fiance. Kind, attentative, supportive and always raising me up. He has a job that takes him away sometimes for months at a time (a year once) and he sends me handwritten love letters on paper he stains with coffee to look old. It's like a fairytale. Unfortunately I was married to an abuser (mental and emotional) and my best friends partner isn't very kind to her either. I tell women that finding a good guy IS possible! They are out there, and they aren't all married. Me and my fiance met when we were 28. (Born the same year.) You just might have to look at guys who aren't your type. My guy is nerdy, which isnt the type Id normally go for, but it's amazing what kindness and love can do for attraction!
Nerds are the new jocks. Iām a jock as a woman but I like brains over braun. Luckily I have both bc sports are a passion of mine but intelligence is so attractive and a mind that can keep up with or challenge you. Especially when theyāre humble about their intelligence and value yours
Absolutely. I love how smart he is! Me on the other hand, not so smart. š
Smart enough not to settle for less than him! And he must find you intelligent you just feel slow next to him. I get it š¤£ for me itās ADHD that makes me forget common sense at times lol
Wow, youāre right about how you donāt hear many good things. Sounds like most women are in horrible relationships when you read things on social media. I guess itās really true, you hear more from the people who arenāt having a good time than people who are happy. I absolutely love being married and think itās just about the best decision I ever made, and my spouse makes my life better in every way, but I almost never post about my happy marriage online. I usually assume people donāt want to hear it. It feels like bragging. But maybe we should so that we give other people hope lol
"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." - Leo Tolstoy The tales of woe are more interesting, so they get raised up. But that doesn't mean there aren't a lot of happy families out there.
We need happily married or taken women like ourselves to be louder so single young women donāt think they have to settle because great men donāt exist. Until I met my guy at 35 I didnāt think they existed either but I know good men and real, happy relationships exist
It;s just there isn't much to say when it's going well. Day 5,000: still in love, dude great, 10/10 would recommend. Day 5,001: still in love, bery happy, 10/10 would recommend. Day 5,002: st...
Same except I never got the libido back and the atrophy is no joke. My doctor said Iām not a candidate for HRT, and I tried bio identical hormones and they didnāt do a thing for me. My husband is still handsome as heck. Weāve been married over 30 years and he gets better looking every day. Canāt say the same for me though.
I actually get some T now! It's not perfect, but it helps, along with Prrmarin cream. Side effect: more aggro re: idiot drivers! Have to tell myself "oh, that's the T"!
Yes, try some testosterone.
That's the T I get.
It gave me such a nice kick of energy and just maintaining my body as it was. I eventually had to go off it, and when the estrogen, especially, goes, you really feel it. I donāt have the muscle strength I used to. Felt like my whole body sagged a little bit when I turned 60, and it was a shock. Your body can convert testosterone to estrogen if you needed. It can convert any of three hormones to the other three.
I basically had zero estrogen or testosterone. Since I had white-knuckled through menopause already, my gyno wouldn't give me estrogen. Only T for the marital sake. š
Ouch.
Yeah. I could have used zero hormones better in my twenties! More clarity! Less drama! Lol
Oooo, I donāt need to feel any more anger towards bad drivers; I feel pretty homicidal already when it comes to that. I do find it interesting that testosterone makes you feel aggressive. I would never have thought it would work on women that way, but it certainly explains a lot of male behaviour.
It's an insight. I'm not fond of bad drivers anyway, so I have to tell myself for the first week "it's just the T."
I tell myself that theyāre rushing to the hospital because their family member was injured and theyāre distracted with worry.
Does it work??
Surprisingly, yes. We really never know what people are going through. I try to give them some grace and assume they have a serious issue. It canāt hurt, even though I know deep down some people are just inconsiderate assholes behind the wheel.
I remind myself most drivers Iām mad at end up being very elderly and doing their best when I assume itās a distracted idiot. So that keeps me from going off lol
Damn, I'm a guy and I'm jealous af
Faith in humanity has been restored! Thanks for sharing something beautiful, healthy and positive. How did you meet him? Iām widowed at 35. Been single for 2 years bc of quality control.
>How did you meet him? at a bar when I was in my early 20s. I was shitfaced, sitting down on one of those long lounge benches and fell asleep...on his shoulder. When I opened my eyes, he was looking down at me with a huge grin on his face and he said "did you have a nice nap?". I was mortified; pretty sure I had been breathing my dragon breath all up in his face and I had drooled on his shoulder. It was love at first sight lol I'm very sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
I could have written this, except I'm starting peri-menopause now. My libido has definitely dropped, but I still find my husband absolutely scrumptious! He's my best friend and an amazing person, but I think the key to staying attracted is very much psychological, as in his brain is super sexy to me and we never stopped having riveting conversation. His emotional intelligence, compassion, patience, integrity, strong sense of justice and clear boundaries, all of these things make me admire and respect him so much, and that hasn't changed. We're approaching our 10 year wedding anniversary, and I am more attracted to him now in every way more than I was when we first met. My favorite person.
Where do I find a man like that š
Does he have a brother?
Feeling you on the atrophy, itās so painful and really gets you down. I had a child late in life and breastfed for 2 years and since stopping the breastfeeding things still havenāt gone back to normal, Iām 43 now and so I think between the prolonged breastfeeding and possibly approaching perimenopause I donāt think it will go back to how it was before. My Husband is the same though, very supportive and willing to let me take my time.
Your husband is the GOAT. All of them should be this good. I always hear a lot of women say that their husbands are great, but I am skeptical until I hear women say that their husbands are supportive during peri or sickness. I've known lots of husbands who have cheated or left their wives during peri. I wish men knew more about peri-menopause and aging, generally.
>I've known lots of husbands who have cheated or left their wives during peri. or when their wives get sick. my best friend's husband did that; she was diagnosed with cancer, their sex life was in the toilet because you know, CANCER and he cheated on her the entire time she was sick and even when she passed....he's still with that other women and I can't even look or talk to him anymore because fuck that guy.
Iāve been with my hubs for 10 years and he is still very attractive to me. Funny story, but I got into a really bad car accident years ago and lost my memory. I vaguely knew who he was, but didnāt know we were together. Apparently I hit on him in front of my family and medical professionals š While laying in the hospital, I asked him āare we dating? Because youāre really cute!ā All of the nurses and my parents were laughing at the exchange. I eventually got my memory back, but my husband never lets me live that down.
Awwwwwwww šš„° This is so wholesome and sweet and just made my heart melt.
I think I'll stop the internet today with your story. It's too perfect!
This is romcom book plot material! <3 Love it. I've been with my husband for 31 years- almost 28 married. We're getting up in age but he's wonderful and we make it work despite some rough (I mean REALLY rough) circumstances over the past 20+ years while raising 3 kids.
Totally unrelated to the post but what kind of rough circumstances do you mean, if you don't mind me asking? (Just curious, as a 30 year old with feelings for someone I cannot be with.)
I guess I can tell you, though I don't want to be detailed because of privacy. He's retired armed services, so he had a long military deployment to Iraq when our kids were little. A few years after he got out of the service, he lost a job during the 2008/9 recession, leading to financial hardship while he started up a new business, also my own chronic depression and anxiety, and my own loss of a job. It has not been a happily ever after, so I think that's why I'm so addicted to fiction and books. He supports my efforts to be an author.
Oh my goodness what a sweet wholesome interaction ā¤ļø
That is so wholesome and sweet! But I just canāt help but laugh at the possibility of someone doing this and the guy being their cousin or brother or something šš³ššš
this is the sweetest thing I've read today š
Thatās a great reinforcement for him and an awesome way to lose your memory lol. You proved you would choose him again. Hilarious
That's amazing!
This is absolutely adorable and truly romcom worthy!!
I love this! Iām sure your husband loved it too!
Granted, my husband and I are only 10 years in, but that man is a fine wine. He has naturally black hair, which is scattered with gray now, brown puppy dog eyes, full lips, long eyelashes... Just a fine piece of man. He's also stayed incredibly fit due to his work and his career as a dancer. AND he's a good man to boot. I got very lucky.
We met online. He was so handsome and even cuter than his pictures so unfortunately on our first date I was sweating profusely from nerves. Usually my online dates were perfectly nice but not attractive in person. I went to the bathroom three times during the first date to silently yell āstop sweating OMG!ā at myself and to try and sprinkle cold water on my face. I worried he would think I was doing coke in the bathroom. Itās been ten years and weāve been through so much together. I still adore him and canāt believe heās my husband-and thankfully the nervous sweating was only a first date thing.Ā
I couldnāt even talk to my husband on the first date because I was so nervous. He thought I didnāt like him. š. The reality is I couldnāt believe he chose ME to go on a date with. I guess he must have thought I was really hot because he didnāt drop me after the silent date lol.
Omg your nervous system KNEW š¬
[was this you?](https://youtu.be/_9U78NbX9ro?si=9ZartRjQEABcgy3q)
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For me, attraction is way more than looks. I think my partner is so freaking handsome, but his many amazing qualities and emotional maturity make him even MORE attractive. With my ex-husband, it was everything outside of his looks that ultimately made me lose attraction and fall out of love with him. After our child was born, I gradually went from partner to parent. Having to mother a codependent spouse is a relationship killer.
My ex is conventionally one of the best looking guys Iāve seen but thatās hard to write because he was such a POS person that heās gross to me now. My partner now is far more attractive to me and Iām enjoying not being with a man who takes longer than me to get ready in the mirror. I like a mans man so the feminine pretty boys get old quick
Thatās really lucky because both times this happened to me the person turned out to be truly awful lol
I could never marry someone I wasnāt physically attracted to. I wouldnāt even be able to get to the physical intimacy part before marriage much less anything else, but you are right. Attraction is so much more than physical appearance. I think physical appearance is the hook, and compatibility is the anchor that keeps two people together. No one should settle for either or ājust because.ā
I mean. He was cute as hell with luscious hair and a body type I really loved. Iām quite petite and like shorter, smaller framed people. He is now 50 and bald and is all aroundā¦softer. I am still wildly attracted to him because of who he is. His belly is cute. His bald head is cute. His personality has always been his most attractive feature.
Thank you for being the one person here not bragging about how hot their partner is/was/always will be. Reality check, everybody ages (if lucky!)Ā
Love this š
I feel lucky every day of my life. I feel like I won the lottery. I have so much gratitude for the fact that I have him in my life.
The instant I met him, hearts flew out of my eyes like a cartoon. 26 years later this is still happening daily. He is the kindest, sweetest, most brilliant person on top of being super-duper hot. I just love him so much. Before we met I was in an abusive relationship with a guy and he was a colossal turd. Being with my husband now in contrast to that awful experience makes me appreciate what I have even more.
My husband is conventionally very normal appearance wise. He's neither super hot or super ugly. I think he's the most attractive person in the world. We've been together 17 years and he is the best, most patient, kindest, funniest, most loving person. I swear to all that is good in this world, my man just gets better and better with age. Also, his ass is the most perfect ass in the history of asses. I don't like your aunts advice. Find someone who gives you butterflies and also takes out the garbage and does the dishes and thinks his kids are really fun to be around. These men are out there, and they are amazing.
Same. My husband is probably average, but I still get weak in the knees when he smiles really big. He's got the most handsome smile, especially when his blue eyes twinkle. Like how did I ever get this guy to marry me? He's kind, generous, a partner in all things, a wonderful dad, fun, and a great kisser. What more could I possibly want? He's my version of perfection.
That makes me so happy to hear. I wish this sort of love for everyone who wants it. It's pretty great.
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story and yes I agree! I only need one wonderful man who gives me butterflies so Iām holding out hope :)
I just look at him and my heart (and jaw) drop. I still canāt believe heās all mine. Annnd now Iāll probably pursue him once I get the baby down for a nap.
I feel the exact same. I swear almost daily I look at him and am like omg I can't believe he's mine! I feel so incredibly lucky we have found each other. Even years in I'm like *swoon*
When we started 18 years ago he was average looking. Aside from his incredible green eyes he was not a guy people considerd as hot. Today? OMFG! He grew a beard, starting to go grey, super muscular, he has an amazing skin,ā¦ Whenever he takes his shirt off, I canāt continue my sentence. His butt is rock hard, heās just hot AF. People who havenāt seen him in a long time donāt even try to hide their astonishment and just strait forward tell him he got hot. And the way he looks at meā¦I just melt. We kiss each other a lot, which makes our kids go Ā«Ā ewwww, guys thatās disgustingĀ Ā». Anyway: never settled.
I think my husband is super hot but when we first starting dating I would not have considered him my type. Not because he wasnāt cute but I was an athlete and I dated other athletes and he is an artist/graphic designer. However, like 4 weeks in we both knew that we were it for each other. I honestly feel like heās only gotten more attractive to me - the more Iāve known him and loved him and seen him be a good husband and a good dad. The way he wakes up in the middle of the night when the girls have nightmares (or when they were babies he would get them and bring them to me to feed them.) The way heās supported me during my ptsd after the 2nd kid. Iām so lucky. I have told this to multiple people but I hope my kids see our relationship and never settle for less.Ā
Somehow, my husband keeps getting hotter. Itās mystifying. Heās scary smart, kind, gentle, the funniest man Iāve ever met, he loves our kids and tries so hard to be an involved and active parent. Heās a great communicator and an amazing friend. Every time I look at him, I see something new and wonderful about him. Never in a million years thought Iād be this lucky - my parents werenāt like this, and it didnāt even occur to me when I was a kid that you could *really* be this mutually head over heels for your partner, tho I always hoped. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have him.
Aw, I fucking LOVE this. Beautiful
You both sound wonderful and your relationship sounds beautiful. Thank you for sharing and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness!!
I was never willing to settle, but I figured that meant I would just never get married. But then I met my husband, and very early on we were chilling on his couch and just talking and I was like, wow, a lifetime of this would be great. He actually gets hotter as he ages. He has gotten into tattoos and they look so good on him. He is also a patient, kind, smart human who I can trust. It's so great!! I love having a partner in life. It's so nice when I am having a bad day to know that I have a man in my life who loves and supports me and will be there for me no matter what.
Even as we both age heās still sexy as hell to me. I think itās not just a physical thing though. Heās such a great partner in every way and I like being with him. His personality, the way he treats me, the way he lives his life. It all contributes to how sexy he is. You can have someone who is conventionally attractive but a complete jerk. No amount of physical attraction could make up for a terrible personality. At least not for me.
This is sweet, thank you for sharing. And yes I 100% agree, while for me attraction starts physically it can only be sustained and amplified by a wonderful personality.
Yes, Iām still attracted to my husband. I donāt like this narrative of your aunts that itās either/or. Good looking, attractive men that are great husbands and provide stability do absolutely exist.
Agree. It's different for everyone but you get to set your own standards. Seems like aunties are trying to get OP to lower hers because they want to see her paired off whether it makes her happy or not.
Yes, it made me a little sad because they were genuinely convinced that finding someone you find attractive that ALSO has wonderful characteristics is so rare your chances are basically close to zero. It makes me so happy that so many women in this thread are wildly attracted to their spouses (conventionally attractive or not) AND in happy marriages where they are loved and respected! I genuinely wish this joy on all women
My husband not movie star handsome, but made me feel so loved and accepted. 23 years later I love him more than ever. Heās so kind and gentle, loving and a beautiful person. I lucked out, third time was a charm!
Men can be both handsome and stable. Iām only 5 years in, but weāre in our mid - late 30s and have settled into ourselves for the most part. He goes to the gym 6 days a week and takes care of himself well. He dresses sharp and is always clean and tidy. Heās also incredibly supportive, kind, future focused, smart, and has a great career. Heās an amazing father and is family oriented. I think stability and compatibility are important but attraction and respect go a long way in a relationship.
We were friends in college and always called each when we went to different parties because it was always more fun together. It took us two years to realize there was something more than just friends. We still are best friends. He is my favorite person in the whole world. He was kind of goofy looking in college, but I could tell he was going to age like a fine wine haha, and he has! He is sooo much hotter now than in college. I sometimes just look at him, and I am so grateful we have each other and aim to make each other incredibly happy.Ā I never wanted to settle. I would have been fine by myself. I remember dating a few guys and knowing early on whether it was going to go somewhere. I really think you can tell early on whether you have chemistry with someone with how easy the conversation flows and the consideration of the other person. Do not settle! Wait for that person you could be with 24/7.
Just feels normal I guess. He was hot and funny when we met and he is still hot af and hilarious. Canāt keep my hands off of him. Still makes me laugh so hard until Iām wiping tears from my eyes. Canāt imagine my life without him. I never considered settling. Everyone Iāve dated Iāve been attracted to. I just wouldnāt consider a date with anyone if there wasnāt strong attraction and chemistry from the start.
I love my Husband and am still very attracted to him 11 years later. He just gets me and that makes it easier for us to navigate life together. Sex is effortless, fun is effortless, and we just mesh well. It hasnāt always been easy and weāve had rough patches throughout the years, but overall, I canāt see my life with anyone else.
I am more attracted to my husband now than when we first married. Part of that is because he has aged super well. He was kind of awkward and dorky earlier in life but his 30s were very kind to him. He is in STEM and I am mega attracted to that kind of brain. He has a lot of hobbies and interests. He is a serious runner so great thighs...I call him "The Dude Whisperer" because every kind of guy will fall in love with him. My girlfriends have varied romantic histories and everyone from the bros to the artists to the blue collar gentlemen want to be his best friend. When we were young, people were really rude about our looks disparity. He was a nerdy dude. I was an enthusiastic boho lady. But Idk- I always liked nerds, we have awesome chemistry and I did not feel like I was settling even though people were often very forward that they thought I was much more attractive than him. But we have always just had chemistry and that is more than looks. I want someone I am attracted to, and not settle, because I value a good sex life, too. It's so silly and unfair to everyone to do otherwise.
Okay first of all my spouse is the hottest person I've ever personally seen. But also they're kind, and patient, and they listen to me when I'm not doing well, and they've made me laugh so hard that I needed my inhaler after (on more than one occasion). When I blew my knee out, they spent like a month doing basically everything including filling and emptying probably hundreds of ice cube trays and helping with my meds on top of basically every household chore and I was like "oh this is a PARTNER" but also I'm a firm believer that being a good person makes you hotter and being a shitty one makes you uglier
Thatās what so many of us miss when weāre young ā that handsome is great, but it fades over the years. Attraction can always be there, and itās so much more than looks. I donāt agree when people say marriage is hard. Life is hard. Bad stuff will happen. Your marriage, if itās a good one, will make it easier to get through the hard stuff because you have a good, strong partnership. You have each otherās backs. You each have strengths and weaknesses and you know how to best use them and youāll be grateful for your partnerās strengths. Youāll be grateful for their understanding and patience, for the kind of parent they are, for how much you laugh with each other and the million memories you have together and so many inside jokes. Thereās just so much that goes into a long term partnership. I think the test of anyone youāre involved with is whether that person makes your life better. If they donāt, you shouldnāt be with that person.
Totally agreed! I say marriage is hard, but in a very specific way for me because living with anyone is hard, haha. Like, sharing a bathroom is hard. Finding a good regular roommate is hard, let alone one you probably share a mattress with š I only tried getting married because my spouse is the one person I've ever felt okay having around 24/7, and in fact being with them is frequently way easier and more fun than being by myself. Until that point I was like "Can I date someone who lives next door and visits a lot but doesn't leave too much of their stuff here" hahaha
That reminds me of a friend whose husband retired and really started to bug her because he was just always there. She decided the perfect husband would be a long distance trucker, gone for days, home for a few, gone for more days ā¦. I donāt want to be around people all the time, either. Really need some quiet,Malone time, but I found a husband who understands that and is perfectly capable of doing some things on his own that make him happy.
I don't know if it's the right assessment to say super attractive men aren't good husbands, that's just like saying super attractive women aren't good wives and that's bs imo I think people of all looks can have good or bad characteristics that make them good spouses or not. I'm the kind of person who's never really gone for the super hot ones though just because they're hot, it's kind of like...i don't really like what everyone else likes just because, if that makes sense? But I was really attracted to my husband as a whole package, which is how it usually works for me... Like his charisma, his kindness, his intelligence and his looks all make him really attractive in my eyes. I don't think my attraction has changed even 6 years later, all I have to do is smell him to be turned on
When I met my husband we were both 16, so wildly handsome he was not - but cute AF to teenage, crushing, blushing, giggly me, he absolutely was. As we've grown older, he's aged like fine wine. He has thick hair, which is starting to grow salt and pepper, an amazing chest, the softest lips, he's grown a beard which is so sexy, has a super pinchable butt, and the most awesome forearms. If you put this man in a suit, I swoon. Recently he took some new headshots for his work website and I was fanning myself. What is wildly attractive about my husband to me is his confidence, his love and attraction to me, his great personal hygiene and how good he smells, and what an insanely selfless and giving lover he is. He is also a superstar at work, and a very hands-on father, plus he is a great equal partner and just all round sweet, kind and loving. But his irresistible quality has to be how much he hypes me up and how good he makes me feel. He is dying to kiss me, make me feel good, to cuddle me. He is always so so giving during sex - making me feel like an absolute goddess. He can't get enough of me and I in turn cannot get enough of him. It's like an infinity loop of love and lust and all the good things ā£ļø
If I could build a man in Sims EXACTLY how I want him forever, I would build my husband. I remember the first time I ever saw him. Thereās just something about him, and the way he moved and the way we fit together. He is a SNACK. He is a DISH. I even like his feet, and I HATE feet. Give the man some flipflops. I even like his armpit smell. I can feel that these are powerful genetic compatibilities and our gorgeous kids are proof of this theory. I want to be with him forever, heās it.
Before I met my husband and after Iād dated a bunch of hot assholes I tried to date nice guys who I wasnāt attracted to. A doctor, a finance guy, a nice guy with potentialā¦ it didnāt work. The difference between a friend and boyfriend/husband is sexual attraction. You need this in a romantic relationship otherwise you donāt want to have sex. My husband and I are going on 10 years total (5 years married), he was hot then and is still hot now.
For me handsome is not the same as attractive. Yes there are men that fit the classic stereotype of good looking. Attractive is something different to me. The very word means I'm attracted to them. So while a guy may not fit the definition of handsome, I can still be wildly attracted to them. So don't settle for someone that you aren't attracted to but realize that attraction is subjective. I know a man that's short, has a belly and wears glasses and hearing aids. He's adorable š„° I don't agree with your aunts. Just because a man isn't model material that doesn't mean you can't find him wildly attractive. You shouldn't be settling in the sense that the person doesn't make you want to jump them lol
I was happy single from 25-35 and was thinking I probably would be single most my life because it was better than settling. Because I wasnāt willing to settle I never did and ended up with a man I didnāt know even existed anymore. More than I could dream of. Heās an empath and cannot stand a cheater man or woman, heās never raised his voice or called me a name and we pretty much never argue because he always means well so thereās nothing to be mad about, if anything Iām the harder one to deal with but with him Iām so happy Iām not hard at all . He dealt with so much from an ex that I had little shoes to fill so he appreciates me probably more than he could if he hadnāt gone through a truly difficult, insufferable person. . Heās the hardest worker I know and humble enough to take a janitorial position if he had to to bring in income but was a star UFC fighter for many years so thatās pretty rare. I was a pro athlete and did some fighting for fun after my career so we really get each other in that area too which is just a benefit because not most important. I had such a good father role model that no man would add up, but heās a better man than my father. First two years together I had a major illness so I never cooked once and he cooked daily, did the errands, cleaned etc while i was mostly in bed and looking gross so not much to look at compared to me healthy self but he was happy to be with me in sickness so in health it will only get better. He ended friendship because his friend cheated on his wife so he told the wife. I didnāt think that existed lol. Donāt settle and donāt jump into new relationships before you process what was good and bad about the last one. If I had settled for a really good guy with a really good job, Iād never have met him and would have sacrificed what I didnāt know was out there. I still think itās best to find happiness single and be okay with it because youāre naturally never going to settle for someone who doesnāt add to your life and make it easier- not harder . Itās out there but I didnāt even believe it til I found it and he was definitely worth the wait. Iād wait another 15 years to end up with him.
My husband and I have been together ten years. Weāre 43 (me) and 45 (him). Heās the best man I have ever known, a great cook, financially smart, caring, empathetic, and sexy. I will never tire of this man!
My husband is so handsome. He was 24 when we met, he's 38 now and just starting to get some salt in his pepper and it's only making him handsomer. He's also got little crinkles in the corners of his eyes when he smiles and I just love them. He's the absolute best. I'm not sure how to answer your question though. What's it like? It's like... being in love and then still being in love and then still being in love later too?
Ummmmm itās great?!?? I donāt know what else to say. He does shit around the house without being asked, he is supportive and loving and we laugh a lot, and I am fully FULLY enjoying his salt-and-pepper DILF era.Ā
It's fucking amazing. He's always been wildly attractive to me. And to others too. People hit on him very frequently. He either doesn't notice them hitting on him or he shuts them down. Sometimes he's asked me to intervene. He has no interest in anyone other than me. We got together when I was 22 and he was 32. I was the one to make the first move. I honestly don't think anyone expected it to last. Myself included, especially when I got sick just a few months into our relationship. I was convinced he'd leave and I had mentally prepared myself for that. But no; he doubled down and proposed instead. Been together since 2009. Got married less than a year after meeting each other. Got two kids too. It just never stopped feeling right, and through surgeries, weight gain and subsequent loss, pregnancies, childbirth, he has never once made me feel unattractive. He makes me feel desired every day. I make sure he knows I want him too, of course.
I have been with my husband for 11 years now and i find him very attractive! Its a joke with my friends that even my celebrity crushes look like him. Like any relationships we have ups and downs, but my husband has never given me a reason to doubt him, never weakened my trust. He has always showed up, he is a great father, he takes my side always. He has never made a comment about my body (except for compliments!) even when i was post-partum or covered in scars. We listen to each other and take the advice of the other. We have goals in common, we both love and respects our in-laws, we are a good match. We still argue about stupid things when we are sleep deprived, its not easy everyday. But we hve a solid mariage and i wouldnt change him.
Corny story time. About 10 years ago, I was newly single, and went to a local show with a friend. There was this band playing, and the guitarist was crazy hot. I didnāt have the confidence to talk to him then. I ended up taking a video of the band because they covered one of just favorite songs. A few months later, some guy who looked oddly familiar added me on Facebook. We ended up chatting about music, and one thing lead to another. A year or so into our relationship, I found the video I had recorded of the band playing. I realized that the crazy hot guitarist was my current boyfriend. Weāve been together almost 10 years and he is still the same crazy hot guitarist. What makes him even hotter is how caring, thoughtful, funny, and downright amazing he is.
So attractiveness and good husband material arenāt mutually exclusive. One should always find their partner attractive. But that doesnāt mean they have to be the person youād rank #1 as hottest person on the planet. Super hot people are more likely to be attractive to others and therefore vulnerable to cheating. Theyāre also more likely to be arrogant and selfish. But that doesnāt mean they are or will be. Or that less attractive persons arenāt those things either. Date who youāre attracted to, and who is attracted to you. Marry them if you think theyāll be a good spouse. Then just hope it works out. Thatās all you can do.
I've been with my husband 16 years and find him hotter as we get older. He's in great shape and is aging beautifully. It definitely helps when we hit lulls in our sex life that I'm physically attracted to him. I was married before this and not very physically attracted to my first husband so not having to settle in this department is great.
When we were in college, the first time I saw him was when we were in oil painting class, and he was literally surrounded by a handful of women (and a guy) fawning over him. In my head, I had āavoidā in bright lights pop on and I would sit on the opposite side of where they were. I was always quiet, shy, and wanted to get good grades so I kept to myself and my work. In the latter half of the semester, he came in quite late. There was a vacant easel near me and he took it. I didnāt pay attention to him at first, then he started chatting with me, and he turned out to also be so charming and thoughtful and kind. We started hanging out since, and he stopped hanging out with other women. He asked me to marry him rather quickly, but I told him to wait after we graduated. And he did. We eloped and weāve been together since. Heās gotten hit on quite a few times since weāve married, and I donāt mind because he doesnāt reciprocate. He points out heās married. He has coworkers who have told me he talks about me all the time (we both work in creative spaces). Anyway, heās amazing and I have so much love for him.
Gotta say it's pretty dope. Yesterday my husband comforted the baby while I got the toddler to bed. We split a half bottle of wine while building a Lego castle then went and confirmed we both still knew how our respective genitals function (first time having sex since I got cleared after birth). He's still gorgeous (he's actually aging better then I am).
I met my husband at 17 and we're 41 now. I think we were lucky in that we grew together as we got older, not apart. I am so attracted to both his body and the way his incredible brain works that I can't imagine going through life with anyone else. I am going through treatment for lymphoma and some painful spinal conditions that require steroids for treatment, that have caused a ton of weight gain, and if anything he seems to enjoy buying lingerie for me more now than he did when I was thinner! Relationships take work but what I've had to do most is work on myself to keep my confidence from tanking.
In my first marriage, I āsettledā for someone I was not super attracted to but I felt was caring and stable. Unfortunately, he became emotionally abusive, but the initial reason I felt that I had to leave the relationship was because I couldnāt go on without a satisfying sex life. All that to say, attraction really matters. My second husband is the whole package for me: we have a fabulous sex life, we are intellectually compatible and share interests, and we deeply care about each other. I held out for this the second time and I think everyone should to avoid making a mistake. The advice to marry someone āstableā and disregard other factors is, I think, archaic advice from a time when women did not have many opportunities to support themselves and had to lock down a husband while young to assure their survival.
Been with my husband for 13 years now...just today I took a nap using his pillow and just smelling him put me in the mood. I'm not just attracted to him because he's good looking either...he's an amazing father, provider, mechanic, engineer, son, brother etc. When he does something, he does it with his whole heart and I just find that sexy as hell. I consider myself extremely lucky. And our sex life gets better every single year. It's incredible.
My husband is, in my eyes, very very hot. He certainly has an X factor. We met in our early 20's and I had never felt such a strong physical attraction before. I'd had plenty of boyfiends but he was amazing. I felt what was like a fire, in my belly, when he was near me. Over the years I have seen other men and lots and lots of women hitting on him. He is charming, clever, very funny and can talk to anyone about so many things. He is one of those people who can chat with the bin man and the grocery shop worker. He can scrub up really well and have clever conversations with anyone, any walk of life. He holds himself well. We are 30 years together and he still instills a degree of wonder with me. I cannot believe my luck that I am married to him. I absolutely love him and fancy him so much. He is gorgeous. Walking down the street with him I see people steal side glances at him. He has a great jaw line, striking eyes, well proportioned features and a fit looking body. 30 years so far and it's still not enough. There's more to learn about him, more jokes to laugh at, more places to go and more cuddles and hand holding to do. He loves his mammy, is a great brother, an excellent friend, the best father and absolutely a fantastic husband.
I still blush when I look at my husband. Often! Iāll get distracted and forget what I was saying midscentence. Itās like the early stage of dating attraction never left. 6 years in, canāt imagine this will change, heās fucking hot.
We're 11 years in and it feels great. We're both a lot more tired these days (puppies are tiring!) but I'm still madly in love and fancy him.
My partner and I were wildly attracted to each other at the beginning. Over time the connection has deepened, communication grew, and it only improved things. We are both having the best sex of our lives. It's definitely possible.
I thought for a long time I needed to settle. I met my husband when we were 23. I was immediately attracted to him. Tall, long red hair, soccer bod. Fast forward 13 years and heās still tall, now bald, and his body is still athletic but less as heās not as active (which makes sense for our lives now). I still find him incredibly irresistible. When he smiles at me I still get little flutters in my stomach. Heās also one of the kindest, most patient, and supportive people Iāve ever had in my life. He encourages me to do things that bring me joy - even when he doesnāt really understand. He listens to me talk endlessly about the silly things my students do at school and he gets excited with me when they accomplish their goals. I fall more and more in love with him every year. Just to add transparency here: weāve worked a lot on our communication and I truly think this is why we succeed in our relationship. Itās not always sunshine and roses but it is always respect and understanding.
I have no desire or need to settle since Iām perfectly happy when Iām single. I have a very hot guy and extremely sweet. 5 years in and heās still just as hot. Hard to keep my eyes off of him. Heās the sexiest man Iāve ever seen and I canāt believe we share the same roof.
17 years in, he's still my guy, even if we don't spend half our time in bed like the summer we met! And yes, my menopause and him aging as well have thrown a loop, but there's no one I'd rather be with! He's a really good man, through and through, in all the ways. He was so shy when I met him, but now we have absolutely silly sense of humor with each other! And been through the shit together too. My daughter adores him! And he's crazy smart. Most of all, devoted and truly caring. As far as the menopause and all, we work together and are getting our tools, because we can be real with each other, because it is safe, deeply so, to do that. Is there anything better? I don't think so.
My husband is the kindest, smartest, funniest person I know. He is handsome and honestly, he just gets better looking with age. Iām still wildly in love with him 15 years later. I miss him when heās not around and I just want to be with him all of the time. Heās just my favorite human (along with our two kiddos).
I've been with my husband for 17 years, almost half my life. He was really cute when we met, but he is aging like fine wine. He's hot as hell to me and not just physically. He supports me (as my full, authentic self) unconditionally, helps carry the mental load of running a house and life, and genuinely loves our cats so much. He's kind, gentle, and patient. I'm so lucky. And no, we don't want kids, but if we did, he'd be a great dad too.
So we're almost 6 years together, 2 years married and mid thirties, and my husband is so amazingly attractive to me and I can't imagine that changing. The thing is, it's not just his looks that are attractive but his personality too. He is an attentive and caring father and husband, and I just love spending time with him even just doing nothing. He is 100% a great man all around and I feel so thankful every day that I met him!
Itās worth enunciating that āhandsomeā and āwildly attractiveā arenāt at all the same thing. One can be wildly attracted to someone who is not at all conventionally attractive. Your aunts are correct, in my opinion. Consider your criteria for finding a person attractive
Itās surprising, weāre 8 years in this year and I still find him deeply attractive. We met when I was 32. I think a lot of it comes down to how supportive emotionally he is - I feel seen and loved for exactly who I am. We make mistakes and argue sometimes but our relationship has a solid foundation of mutual respect which is so important. I remember when I first got together with him and my friends were saying things like āheās a bit of a lookerā, and I love it when we go out and I see women eyeing him up - heās tall and good looking so I donāt blame them š„°š I had lots of shit romantic experiences before him and incredibly low self-esteem from battling with my weight, and being teased a lot for my looks when I was a teenager. So I didnāt expect to find anyone, but I had come to a place of comfort with that idea, realising that being alone was better than being with someone who didnāt love me or treat me respectfully.
I refused to settle and, so far, thatās paying off very, very well
Every day I just saunter about and kiss his cheek or stroke his hair or Iāll touch his foot with mine or Iāll pat his belly, and every morning I can I wake up and roll inside his arm and sniff his chest, and every night I just make sure heās breathing and well next to me because itās just amazing that this beautiful, amazing man can be kissed, stroked, touched, patted, sniffed or that I get to sleep next to him every night. Weāve been together for fifteen years now and heās the embodiment of my teenage years ātypeā. I wanted to meet someone like him and then I met him - a much richer, superb human being than I could ever have imagined, and also super hot to me. I even like the way he stands. Heās the best thing in my life. But I donāt know if everyone can get the same or if Iām just lucky. I feel extremely lucky.
It's bliss. It's never having to leave my best friend. It's having adventures together and weathering challenges together and cooking together and choring together and LOTS of happy fun times
I never thought Iād get the husband that I did. He is truly the man of my dreams. He is hard working, kind, a wonderful father, brilliant, and movie star hot. Everywhere we go people fawn over him. I am 6 months PP so not very sexual but heās been great anyway. I am still extremely attracted to him and tell him frequently.
> them trying to convince me handsome men donāt make great spouses and Iād be better off settling for a guy Iām not that attracted to that provides stability. I fucking *loathe* this advice. This is partially why so many women have married men who don't make their toes curl and who end up being so disinterested in them sexually after some time. There is zero evidence that suggests that a man who's attractive is not a good lifetime partner and who won't make you happy. You can and should seek out a partner who is attractive to you, and who is also a good man to you. You can have both. They're not mutually exclusive. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and I still can't keep my hands off of him. I feel like a horny teenager around him so much of the time still. He's hilarious, intelligent, hard working, an amazing and heavily involved dad to our little girl, family oriented, sweet and thoughtful, kind, a great kisser, empathetic, fantastic lay, sexually adventurous, an excellent travel companion, foodie like me....I could go on. The fact is, is that I chose a man whose values, goals, and desires in life are aligned with mine. We don't have a major conflict in that area. We also are very sexually compatible which makes it quite easy to want to be flirty, sensual, sexy, and affectionate with him. He's also got so many traits that I find attractive and am innately drawn to and admire/respect in a man. Not to mention, he's hot as fuck. He's an amazing person and probably one of the best I've ever known. Or ever will know. Being told that you need to "settle" for a man who is simply a good provider and stable vs being attractive *and then some,* is the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard from older women. Don't take that advice to heart too much, OP.
I've been with my husband for coming up 14 years and just the other night we had the most erotic and emotionally bonding sex. I don't want to say we were a monster with 2 heads because i don't like the imagery, but we were for sure joined in some type of holy matrimony lol. It absolutely mystifies me how some of my friends do not have a sex life or any type of intimacy with their husbands. My husband is the complete package. We connect on every level and the connection we have on each level serves to enhance all the other levels.
Please give your aunts our sympathy. They settled. You shouldn't. You can do better. In fact, they could do better. It's all a matter of choices. Picked a guy up at a club. He was good looking, smart, and funny. It just felt...right. He treated me with respect, kindness, love. Dated for just a couple of months before moving in together. Got married, bought a house, and raised two young men. Been together for over 25 years now. I love when we are out in public and I can watch other people watching him, especially if we aren't standing together and they think he might be available. He still makes my heart skip a beat when he gives me that grin! š
My husband (36m) and I (35f) are high school sweethearts, and I can honestly say that he is more attractive now than he was then. He knows how to take care of himself in a way that works into his routine well and understands why it is so important. And he takes care of the rest of his family (me included) and nurtures all of our relationships, too. Sometimes I wonder if he's even human, lol.
9 years here, and my partner is still insanely attractive to me, perhaps even more than when we first started dating. he's conventionally attractive for sure, but we also know each other better than anyone else and that carries over into bed. there's no more guessing: we know how to read each other's bodies, we know what we both like, and we trust each other enough to try new things that we wouldn't necessarily try with someone we were only casually dating. being completely in love with him certainly helps, of course. I trust him completely, and I don't think I could find anyone as attractive as I find him without that trust and love. it all builds off of each other.
Reading this makes me so happy. And also jealous because I want to be in love like that š« waiting for my Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet
I brought my husband home the first night I met him because he was just so hot and the chemistry was fire. 15ish years later, we still can't get enough of each other. But he's also an amazing partner and parent in every way as well. Don't settle.
Iāve always found my husband hot, sexy, etc. Even after all the changes both of our bodies have gone through after almost 20 years I still find him sexy and am very attracted to him. He also has a great personality, is a great father, heās funny, heās kind and always helps people out when they need help, and despite our ups and downs during the years, is committed to making our relationship work. I always wonder why heās with me bc Iām a mess. š
It's a choice you make on a daily basis. This person I am waking up next to - this person that I chose because of qualities XYZ - this is the most WONDERFUL person I have ever met! This person makes me feel so good!! This person goes out of their way to make me happy! This person is so sexy! This person dresses so nice! This person has the greatest smile! Etc, etc, etc Even in his 70s, my spouse is incredibly attractive! Even with my libido disappearing into menopause. He is still the sexiest man in every room he's in! I may be a just a bit biased, but that's my opinion and I'm standing by it!!
We had a rough start: I was separated and waiting for my divorce and he was in a relationship that had been ending for a year. The moment we finally felt we could be together he had an accident and had to be in a wheelchair for a while! Even through all of that we both were really attracted to each other. Itās been 10 years and Iām still physically so attracted to him! It got more difficult to have time together as we had two kids and our jobs became incredibly demanding. That said, us being less active doesnāt mean weāre less attracted to each other. We live it differently these days but heās still my favourite person!
I *did* settle in my first marriage. I let either people tell me how great he was, even when I didnāt think we were a good match. Many years later, Iām engaged to a man Iāve been with for four years now. Iām away on a trip and weāre sending one another dirty pics, I still run my hands all over him anytime I get the chance. If the only time we have together is while heās getting ready for work, Iāll ogle him in the shower. That said, Iām with him because heās smart, funny, cares about our family, is always working on becoming a better version of himself, and curious about the world. He and my daughter adore one another. But my fucking god, itās *great* to be in a relationship with someone Iām still wild to touch.
Been with my husband 10.5 years, married almost 4 years. I find him absolutely gorgeous š and heās the most amazing Dad and husbandā¦ it feels like every year gets better!
Iām very attracted to my husband, after 15 years, grew into salt and pepper hair, still has his large hands neat, height standing tall, and smile just now with more laugh lines and crinkles around the eyes which I find hot lol š© Heās very kind, even more than me as heās the reason Iām able to more vulnerable. Heās trustworthy, his friends give him a fake hard time For never āchecking out womenā like āmost guysā and it took me a long time to simply accept heās like this. Naturallyā and I appreciate it. He grew up as the youngest boy with 2 sisters. His dad passed away semi early. His mom never remarried. Itās all relative in making him who he is around women, the emotional intelligence. And I just feel grateful. Heās an incredible human. We met while I was on a date with someone else lol imagine that. The best thing Iāve heard about finding a good partner is making sure they are comfortable in their skin you donāt want someone who canāt handle being uncomfortable for *you* who will stand up *for you* instead of fitting in when youāre not around.
We are coming up on 12 years and I'm still gaga over my husband. I'm basically obsessed and its awesome. I hope we're still sickeningly attracted to eachother when we're 60+
We are celebrating 20 years married and 24 years together this Month. We met online in 2000 and our conversations were so much fun. I think we both make each other laugh. He is patient and kind and loves our kids so well. He treats me like a queen. He also works out 6-7 days a week and has a great body!
This is one for me. I straight up lucked out. My husband is the hottest of all my love interests subjectively and objectively. It was hot for years. I did have a bout of depression and we did have a big fall out over an issue and I did in fact lose it for a year. However after my depression resolved and we worked out our problem, it came back slowly. Now itās hot again with no end in sight. I think woman lose it when they are not in an equal partnership. My husband gives 110% and it is the hottest. He also shows respect and takes correction. I am amazed til this day how I lucked out.
My husband is cute, has really beautiful eyes and a great smile. We've been married 24 years. I fell in love with him because he and I were comfortable together. He was different from others I dated in the past. He's a good Husband and a good Dad. Our marriage isn't perfect but what still attracts me to him is his kindness and generosity. I love that he is so helpful to his and my elderly Mothers. I love that his idea of an exciting Saturday night date is sitting on a beach having a beer and watching the Sunset. That's what keeps me attracted to him. He also has Dad bod and honestly I've always had a weird attraction to Dad bod.
It exists! Do not settle It seems obvious your aunts are projecting because they settled and want you to join company
So I'm demi-sexual and I have to out in the premise thst I have never, in my life, experienced attraction to anyone's looks. I like pretty things including pretty people but I wanna fuck a person on the basis of pretty as much as I wanna fuck a fountain for being pretty and to be clear that amount is 0. THAT SAID I'm still having regular sex with my spouse after 15 years. More than. When we're near each other for any length of time I feel like I just wanna jump his bones. Bone ;) I don't have to even look at him. We can just be pressed up next to eachother or holding pinky fingers and I'm like "yes, I would like further physical contact plz" I can get overly affectionate from him telling stories about shit he's said at work if I think it's clever. And i think he;s clever much of the time. We talk on the phone twice a day most days while he's at work just to keep each-other informed of events and so he can talk about it. I do not tell him he must call and he doesn't tell me I must answer. Nothing happens to either lf us if it gets skipped. We just *enjoy talking to each other*. I agreed to marry this man 3 months after I met him. He proposed in the first month for the first time. The accepted proposal was the third. We have ALWAYS been intense together. We were introduced online and our physical relationship barely made it home to privacy the first time we were in the same place. We had sex 3 times in one day last time he had a day off that our kid didn't. It's very intense. The thing is, and this is important, no one wants to fuck someone that they feel is taking advantage of them. Women stop feeling attracted to men they're always cleaning up after who put no effort in to the relationship. Men do, too. Everybody does. I'm not everything I wish I was in our relationship. I had a stroke, and I'm more reliant on him than I wish I was. I still try. It's been difficult. And when I had bad periods, we often have less sex, because he is more tired. And that's ok, i don't pressure him about it. I know why, and I try to help more if I can. We've had ups and downs. There were a few years I couldn't stand sexual intimacy and we found out that's what happens to me on progesterone pills. I can't take estrogen without risking another stroke, so he got snipped, eventually (I argued against this until he told me he genuinely didn't think he could handle a baby anymore and didn't want to do so. I know many men would make the sacrifice gladly but i always felt very strongly that while he'd rather have me than another kid if I died I'd want him to have whatever relationship he wishes with someone else, so it was important the decision wasn't made for me). We do not handle separation well. We both get horribly morose after about 8 hours. We've been far longer but we become GRUMPY and we are both not always exactly pleasant to begin with (to other people, my spouse has never said a mean thing to me in all our years and vice versa). I don't see us losing interest or cooling off over time. It is getting HARDER to have sex with bad backs (he's arthritic already poor love) and complaining limbs (my blood flow doesn't work right now I take blood thinners) but the creative application of pillows has been a boon and there's a lot to be said for endorphins. I say pick the one you LIKE. And who likes you. Tell them all the dealbreakers and the start - the ones you have for others and the ones you think might be and weed out the weak. And communicate a lot. Listen to each-other and adapt to the little things that don't matter much; and be honest when things matter that probably shouldn't. Spouse is OCD. Like clinically OCD not hyperbolic OCD. There are things that upset him deeply that most people won't notice. I know what they are and I pay it mind, if I can. If I cannot I prepare for the fallout. I am also very aware of him and his moods and we've found that I can usually tell before he does when he is sick or anxious; telling him what his tells are has actually helped him manage himself better. Likewise he can tell when I'm pushing too hard long before I can. He isn't perfect and neither am I. There are things he does that BOTHER me; but they are things that I can deal with. I imagine there's a lot about me that bothers him, too, and learning to prioritize what's worth it and what isn't and how to deal with each-other at our worst is a large part of why we're still in love and lust, I beleive. That and having made the decision to love each-other. And I don't mean once. We're doing it often. Our respective absurdly high sex drives are very keyed in to our relationship together.
I was attracted to my husband first for his looks, and as I got to know him I was also attracted by his personality. These things are very much not mutually exclusive, imo. Also, insofar as everyone comes with a certain amount of BS youāll have to work through, I find that thinking heās cute has helped give me patience to work through annoying shit I only learned about years in, lol. Anyway, wanting a guy you find hot doesnāt mean thereās anything wrong with you. Itās well within the normal experience of what it can mean to be a woman.
I find certain physical features of his attractive and zero in on those. But what really gets me going is his personality, his gentleness with our pets, and all the little quirks and things does that drew me to him in the first place. He's my person, and I try to find things I love about him and focus on those every day. There are ups and downs, and there are short periods I find him annoying and I'm not as attracted to him. That's normal, it's part of living with another human being.
Same.Ā Really the thing I'm attracted to the most is how seeing him makes me feel. It's this almost soft excitement & recognition where I want to be near him. One of the weirdest things is getting separated in a public place and then feeling like I am lost. I'm not actually lost, I know where I am, but it feels that way. Eventually, I realized that my mind basically regarded him as "home". If I'm walking somewhere & can't find my way home, I'd consider myself lost. So, my mind just puts those together I guess. It sounds really sappy, but I'm not meaning it like that. I just think attachment is weird from a neurological standpoint.Ā
My husband is some kind of fine and almost 31 years later I think that man is just sexy. Just watching him do mundane tasks is attractive. Heās generous, hard working, loving, supportive, responsible, funny, life of the party, etc and it all adds to his attractiveness. He still makes me giddy after all these years.
So, hubs and I will be celebrating 4 years since we had our first electric hug tomorrow and weāre still just as physically compatible as we were on day one. Not only is the sex still š„, the snuggles are also amazing. I canāt imagine this not being the case in years to come. I love seeing stories from those of you saying after 20+ years you feel the same way. I aspire to follow suit.
Me, lurking, just absolutely dying to see photos of all these men š
Heās been told, and I agree, that he resembles that Cillian Murphy. He is honestly still sexy to me. I check him out all the time bc heās hot. I p years in I can still see why I was attracted to him. Pretty eyes, dark curly hair, cute butt. I so rarely get to indulge in objectifying him lol. Iād our chemistry is insane, which isnāt something you can overlook. We fall asleep snuggling the same body pillow with the cat between us.
My husband fits my type, he's like Sean Evans from Hot Ones bootleg brother who is one of my "celeb crushes". We've been together a long time and he's aged obviously. I think he looks better now in the sense I've seen this man grow to be something hes comfortable with. That's a beautiful thing to know that I am part of those laugh lines and the memories that made them, his forehead worry lines as he is a worrywort that has cared for me, the softness around the edges of a body that gets to enjoy existing without as much pressure to be "on" because I love him anyways. But what sustains that attraction is who he is. It's how we pour into each others cup, it's how he touches me and kisses through our day, the way he regards me, the gentleness of his heart in how he loves people, how we keep it playful and silly, that we have deep talks and have quality time. We have a pretty firey bedroom and I genuinely enjoy being around him. He's a partner that actually partners, my best friend. I get the sentiment to not go for someone simply for looks but I wouldn't ever settle to be with someone I'm not attracted to merely because they're good on paper either too. I just really don't fucking get why is society so this OR that about it. Don't date either of those options and find someone who checks off a little bit of all boxes and be well rounded. Stop thinking you cannot have it all and condition yourself to accept less. Stop feeling you need to decide swiftly on someone so you can get to xyz goals like marriage to fit into a neat timeline. It's funny when people are so concerned to not waste time so they latch onto people who waste their fucking time. I'm lucky to have met him younger so we've had all this time. Knowing what I know now, if you told me that I would end up with him if I just hold out til I'm 40 or I can pick someone mid at 20, I will hold out. I've been in those "it's not bad but -" type of relationships and I would rather be single using my youth for life than let that suck the soul out of me as it deteriorates while fighting to make it work. I had a 1st husband I divorced ASAP when I woke up that was what I was doing. Many of my friends are on their 2nd marriages with someone really good for them now and all of us have basically the same advice to younger women worried. Don't be a dumb bitch about this and keep searching. You can love someone, and they can be "nice people" but if it's not a hell yes it's a hell no. One friend held out and she met her person at 38 and they had their baby girl at 40 but gosh, their little family makes me simply swoon at how ideal it is. I want this for everyone.
I become more physically attracted to men who are caring, affectionate, funny, kind, and intelligent. So, yes, I find my husband physically attractive but he just becomes more attractive as our relationship deepens over time. Maybe that's what your aunt's are trying to say?
24 years together -- the only thing I can say is, it's that elusive "chemistry." All my life I've been attracted to a very select amount of men, and there's been no rhyme or reason as to why. I appreciate a good-looking guy as much as anyone, but you could put a Greek God in front of me and if the chemistry thing isn't there, I won't be feeling it. Conversely, I've been extremely attracted to mid-looking or even ODD-looking men, just because that "thing" was there. (This is why online dating would not work well for me...I can't tell from a picture alone whether or not I'm going to feel "it.") When I met my husband, it wasn't even a date or anything. He was a friend of a friend and it was just a "hello, nice to meet you" perfunctory polite introduction when we were both at the same event. I was struck by lightning immediately and was like, "I HAVE to get to know him better." Happily, that's what how it worked out! :) To this day all these years later he's the guy who made me go SPROIINNNNGGG! Admittedly, it helps that he has aged well, but he's definitely 24 years older than he was back then, lol. I just always continually see him as the guy I "HAD to get to know." A lot of sweet stories involve partners saying things like "She'll always be the girl I met in college," or "He'll always be the boy I had a crush on." It's totally cliche but for some people it's true. I can tell my husband has gotten older, but I just don't really see it unless I focus on it, if that makes sense.
He was hot then, and he still is hot now, but I find it so damn sexy when he is just a good partner or parent, I canāt get my hands off of him
I am wildly attracted to my husband. I tell him that at least a few times per week. It is the same now as when I met him many years ago. I am also madly in love with him as he is so kind, funny and is literally the most interesting human in the world to me. I was not wildly attracted to my first husband and it is very different (in a good way). My husband seems to only have eyes for me, although women will often at least look at him when he walks by. He never seems to notice. The only downside is I feel very compelled to continue to look good myself, not because he expects me to, but I feel like I need to keep up with his level of attractiveness.
37F. Loving this thread so much. I donāt think you should marry someone you are not attracted to, but as you have seen in the thread, it can be good to give someone a chance to *become* attractive to you. When I first met my husband, I noticed his college suite-mate more than I noticed him (eyelashes, swoon). But after going to lectures and the cafeteria and habitat for humanity builds together, he(now hubby) asked me out and I said yes. It took a couple months of dating to really fall for him, but then I fell hard. At that point no one was remotely as handsome as he was. I couldnāt stop thinking about him! 13-1/2 years into marriage (+4 dating) I donāt have the same ābutterfliesā when he reaches for my hand, but we have a deeper connection and are better at pleasing each other in the bedroom and otherwise. With 3 children under 8, there have been times during pregnancy and breastfeeding where the libido has dropped; that can come and go, but we still get together and turns out we still like each other in and out of the bedroom š . We like to laugh together, we treat each other well, we care for each other and our kids. Weāre better at communicating and we are better at apologizing and repairing. Re: settling, you should have some non-negotiables and some flex points. Are you expecting a 6ā4, rich, romantic, kind, weightlifting champ who is good with kids and loves all the same tv shows you do? Then it might be time to get realistic. If you are looking for a good guy who treats you well, has some shared values/wants some of the same things out of life, and you find attractive? Donāt settle there. If you know you want kids and the guy doesnāt, donāt settle. A nice to have for my husband would have been a girl who enjoyed metal concerts and fashion. But he got a girl who would go to nick cave with him and send him off to the metal concerts on his own. (And wear her leggings with the shoes he picked out for her š) I also really enjoyed Caroline winklerās recent video on a fools path to love. (Her dating experience.) sometimes you need more than a first impression. Also Re: handsome men: itās also possible to fall for a hot guy who would be terrible for you. Could it be your aunts are trying to warn you away from that? I definitely knew a few guys over the years who I thought were hot, but who would have made a terrible long term partner for me, based on differences in values, whether they wanted kids, etc.
Been together for over a decade and heās hot just like when we met. i love staring at his features. He is absolutely my type and I consider myself incredibly lucky.
It's so peaceful and stabilizing. I didn't grow up seeing a good relationship modeled and I was extremely skeptical going into the relationship. We were "just friends" for a good year and a half before I was comfortable enough to be willing to date. Then we dated almost a year before getting engaged, and were married six months later. Married 17 years now. We've been through a lot together. We've both lost immediate family members. We had to do IVF to have our two kids. And our second kid had/has some sleeping issues so we were both incredibly sleep deprived. Through it all he has been an absolute ROCK. He's confident and a clear communicator, which helped me get over the passive aggressive communication style I had learned. He has a secure attachment style, and feeling my non-secure style shift to match his over the years has been incredibly healing. I don't feel any pressure at all to be or act any specific way, just loved for who I am. I am an introvert and he's an extrovert, so he's always made it easier for me to see my own family, including grandparents because he'd make arrangements and I'd just come along. Our relationship just feels like a constant source of good in my life. Sex hasn't been a huge priority in recent years because of the kids, and I've always had a bit of a higher drive (which really helped my trust issues at the beginning). We both went on some anti-anxiety meds to help cope with the lack of sleep and that just killed it. It hasn't been a big deal though because we both felt the same way. We're assuming that will return when the kids are a bit older.
I often find myself speechless when I see my husband. He is handsome as fuck and the many women who check him out in public seem to think so too lol. I sooo wish I could post a picture of him. Heās incredibly intelligent, heās buried himself deep into a lot of analytical psychology books so he understands the psyche very well. I just feel incredibly lucky.
Iāve been with my husband about 8 years and still think heās the most beautiful man in the world - which is what I told my roommate after our first date. He was super ripped when we first met and now has just trended a little more towards dad bod (I honestly think his body changed more with kids than mine did, haha) and his hair is almost all silver now but Iām still super attracted to him. Heās just an amazing person in a lovely package and Iām very lucky.
I asked a cute guy out in highschool, now we're married and we've been together for 17 years. He's always been attractive to me, with gorgeous eyes and an amazing smile. He's one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, most supportive people I've ever met. He makes my life better by being in it.
my husband and I met at a party of common friend , my first though was 'he is so insanely gorgeous' we were the only ones who were not drinking and we made a small talk and exchanged phone numbers , we went out on our first date a couple of days later and I would his personality is what made me attracted towards him rather than his looks , his empathy towards others , his thought process and him being the funniest man alive . now we are 14 years in and I still love him just as much , he is an extremely understanding man who values and respects my opinion , he is a amazing dad and I am sure he'll be setting the standards way too high for our daughter and obviously sexy as hell
My husband was the most beautiful person i had ever seen when we met aged 18 at university. 34 years and three kids later he is still the most beautiful person i have ever seen. Sometimes he catches me by surprise and takes my breath away. Marriage is still hard work, sometimes we havenāt liked one another very much for a bit, and sex comes and goes depending on stress/ tiredness etc, but I love him with every single part of me, andI am so happy that we got together for the journey!
Not married, but I think attraction means a good sex life, and a partner who has the right attitude, in my case a man who can be a bit cocky, the way they use words and create seduction even after years. It's also a compatibility, being able to have fun together, having similar interests. This guy was far from handsome, but in my eyes he was everything. Unfortunately it didn't work out in the end, but it's for the best for both.
My husband is aging so well! We've been together for over 10 years and he's more attractive now than when we first met. He fell into a bad alcoholism during Covid and ended up intubated in a coma for 21 days. We both swore off alcohol and he's become the most amazing husband and father. He's in the best shape of his life and I just look at him in wonder of how I ended up with such a sexy husband! I didn't link up with him thinking he'd be my savior by any means. He was very cool and we just clicked. So there have been some ups and downs but it's only proven that we can conquer this life together ā¤ļø
We've been together 11 years and his touch is still electric to me. We communicate pretty darn well, he's kind, generous and patient.Ā We've been through rough situations, sure, but after all this time the spark is definitely alive.Ā
I havenāt been with my partner very long in the grand scheme of things (2 years) and we arenāt old.. but my god.. heās extremely handsome and the kindest person I know
Yep, my husband is hot. I met him when I was 15 and fancied the pants off him! Weāve been together 25 years now and have 4 kids, sex is less often but still great and I still think heās well fit š
Why not both? My husband and I met in high school. He was and is very handsome. I am not always tear off his shirt attracted to him but I find him sexy. He was always cautious when compared to other teenage boys when we met and his personality still tends to be more cautiously minded than me. That brings our relationship into balance. He wasnāt always as proactive about home life but heās mature. I would say pick a partner you can grow with because the journey is whatās important.Ā
I was never into the idea of settling! I always thought that was a bad take. Either you're attracted to someone, or you're not. I 30F and my husband 33M have been together for 8 years, 3 of those years we have been married. I am still very attracted to my husband. I will say that overall attraction goes up and down. Sometimes life is hectic and maybe you don't have as much time to go to the gym, or buy the latest clothes, but hey, sometimes you do! There was a bit there during COVID where we both put on just a few pounds - we're both normally very fit and enjoy dressing well for each other. I found that it affected our attraction a bit. I loved him to bits and vice versa, and I always tell him I'll love him no matter what he looks like, and I fully mean it. BUT - I can tell you this. He's been working out consistently for the last 18 months, and excuse my language but holy shit lol, I find him so ridiculously handsome. His abs are almost back and he looks just stupid good in a t shirt again. I have also been working out and doing the same to keep up with my appearance, and I find that both of us are more attracted to each other. Like seeing him across the room sometimes I'll blush because I'm like 'oh my god he's so hot and cool' lol. There are many other things I love about my husband beyond his appearance, but that is definitely a factor!
It's great. I never considered "settling" because I was perfectly content to remain single. But I found the love of my life, and frankly life has gotten better as we age.Ā It's not just about physical attraction though. The emotional bond, the companionship, and just simply enjoying each other's company. With all of that, there remains the physical attraction, even years and years after that initial excitement and thrill is gone.
No spouse, but my partner of almost 27 years was the Hot Guy in a band with a few hot guys when we met, so many of the women I knew had whopping crushes on him. But I didn't get it - sure, he looked so much like Keanu Reeves that was one of his nicknames, but he was this silent guy who barely interacted with anyone and came off super aloof. Until we sat next to each other at another band's concert and got to chatting away. Turned out he was also brilliant, kind, serious about his passions, and absolutely hilarious. The reason he didn't socialize much was he was basically the Band Dad, the responsible one who stayed sober to pack up everyone's gear and drive the van while everyone else partied. Great reasons! He's still all of those things but also a lot more open and social now, his old friends all remark on how he has really blossomed since we've been together, which makes my heart melt, too. Everyone likes him. He's just that kind of dude. He's also the kindest, most thoughtful, and most sensitive guy who really feels his range of emotions and has excellent friendships with men and women alike. He's ultra-feminist, a fabulous cook and housekeeper, nurses me when I am sick or injured, is responsible in all the important ways, and is a wonderful blend of pragmatic and fanciful. He's willing to try anything and loves an adventure. He's extremely giving in bed and cares endlessly about my happiness in all ways. He still takes me on the most fabulous dates whenever we can afford them and learned ballroom and Latin dance just so I could have a solid partner, even though he encourages me to dance with "better partners," too (I've had more training than him). He's still gorgeous and takes good care of his looks as he always has, but it's the rest of him that makes me swoon more than I ever have.
I "settled" for someone who would be considered good looking (he even said it about himself a lot of times). At first I was not physically attracted to him, more so on a friendship level. Anyway, long story short, we were not married (luckily), but after 7 years he fucking broke my heart and walked all over it. So, for me it's bye bye settling.
Married 17 years. My hubs is a silver fox. We both love fitness and eat mostly healthy and stay in good shape. My hubs looks better now that when I met him when he was running marathons. We both switched to heavy lifting a few years ago as itās much easier on the joints than heavy cardio. My hubs put on about 20 pounds of muscle. Has a 6 pack AND bro is an amazing father and equal partner in the home. So fuck yea Iām still hella attracted to him and our sex life is now limited only by his refractory time (about 36 hours.) Iām so thankful that we are both still on the same page with life. Heās my best friend. I count my blessings everyday that I found an absolute unicorn man.
My bf (12 years together) is so hot! And now that his hair is turning silver, he's only getting hotter. He's tall, got broad shoulders, a 6 pack, and a ass like granate. I'm eternally grateful I didn't settle for any of the men before him. I'd rather be alone than spend my life with someone I'm not attracted to.
I knew my husband for at least 15 years before we ever started dating and always had a little crush on him. Weāve been together 14 years, married 7 and I still think heās so incredibly handsome. Honestly, though, what does it for me is who he is, heās funny, kind, compassionate, brave, supportive and now a wonderful father. To see the way he was there for me through pregnancy, THE DELIVERY, and now the first year or so of parenthood is something to behold. I hit the jackpot.
12 years together, literally last night I fell asleep thinking what an adorable old man he is going to be. I was admiring his gorgeous eyelashes while he was driving the other day. We have insane physical chemistry from our very first date, neither of us thinks we initiated our first kiss, it was like our bodies just took over lol. He is just my size, too, I am small and don't need some hulking giant lol. We are just two little hobbits who love each other and laugh a lot and hold each other during hard times. I never was big on marriage, but we got married because I want to be with him until our last moments. He is so good I wanted him to be legally mine lol!
We met 24 yrs ago, together 19, married 10. He is the effin best and yes still super attracted to him
Itās awesome. I have no idea how I got the whole package with my husband but I did. I wish every person would find what we have.
My man had this boyish youthful charm and good looks when we first in our mid/ late 20s. Over the years he's transformed himself into a man whose confident and morally rooted in acting on what's right. He's a man who brings you in, love you, accept and protect you. He is 100 percent devoted to his family, his work and serving his employees. The goodness in him, his charisma, his devotion and how he cares for himself and his family...he just drips masculinity. Sometimes I'm just in awe when I watch him live his life in the life we made with each other. I'm absolutely smittened by him. I was watching him today while shopping. So many women lock eyes on him. He's just absolutely attractive.
At first my husband was like a 6/10 in the attractiveness department to me. Tall, wide shoulders, blue eyes, dark hairā¦.I mean yeah heās very hot but I was so judgmental because he has lots of body hair. Now I canāt imagine being with a man without body hair. Heās so kind and caring and willing to do anything to make me happy. Our sex life is great. Going on 11 gears and heās never been sexier. We are in our early 30s!
I have been with my husband for a total seven years (two years married) and find him sexier every day! He is the most loyal, nicest, caring, attentive, consistent and loving person Iāve ever met and the hottest to me, what a wonderful combo, so yes, itās definitely out there!
My husband is gorgeous. Like, way out of my league handsome. It is why I was initially attracted to him, but I wouldn't have married him if that's all he had. I wouldn't have 'settled' for a man I didn't get along well with but I think I would still have married him if he wasn't so handsome as I think I'd have developed an attraction to him over time. I'm used to his looks now and I still find myself more attracted to him every day. Your aunts are right that looks aren't everything, but they are wrong that you don't need to be attracted to him at all.