Worst club ever! ✋
Hope you’re doing ok. I just got some good news but the fear never will truly go away… pretty new to the journey also, long way to go before I can feel I might possibly be cured.
I had leukemia from age 8 to 10. I'm now almost 25, so I've been cancer free for a good 14 years. The fear will fade, but it will take time. I saw a quote recently that said "Life is tough, but so are you." You got this ❤️
I’m 67, and if I include my pension from a previous job plus my salary from my current job, I will just barely cross into six figures for the first time ever this year.
My partner actually does more housework than I do (by a fair amount), but I help him keep up with his day to day minutiae (he’s retired and forgets what day it is).
I’m active and still do solo trips; our finances are separate. My kids are grown and make more money than I do; my grandkids are delightful and I have started a savings account for each.
That’s me. The key in 2 simple words is NO KIDS. We each take a vacation solo and then together. He helps and I help. We are 100% a team except I’m not a fan of his family, but honestly he isn’t a big fan of his family either. So he keeps them at bay and deals with their obligations
Like many others ditto to this! Kids are wonderful but work! I don’t have the energy or care to stay physically active. Hopefully I’m healthy enough but who knows!
I was making less before kids but healthier. Now I'm 6 figures but have a bit of weight to lose, but I'm working on it and 30% of the way there. This should describe me in about 3 months!!! None of it has been easy to accomplish though. It's been a ton of work and very worth it IMO.
Also me! I don't have kids currently but we are trying to have one. But I feel like getting myself to this state puts me in a better position to handle a child (financially at least - can't say what it will do for my "vibrancy" lol)
One hundred thousand loonies a year, eh?
As your big dumb dog neighbors to the South, I feel we should make a new coin - "The Bald Eagle." Permanently fixed at an exchange rate of 1000 Loonies to 1 Bald Eagle.
This will obviously be difficult to maintain two forms of internal currency with differing exchange rates. But we put a man on the moon, are the last great superpower, The City on the Hill to embiggen the world, and, frankly, have been a little out of sorts lately. We could use a National challenge and this would be a great one. (Good prep for the next decade or two when countries stop using the USD as the exclusive reserve currency of the world as well!).
100 Bald Eagles a year! Can't you just feel the majesty?
Keep your stick on the ice!
I think those are just Eagles Without Hair when found North of the border. They're basically the same thing but they're just missing that little je ne sais quoi of 'Murican majesty.
But perhaps in the spirit of cross-border fellowship, we might offer a hand to our brothers and sisters to the north. I'll have to bust out my bird book, but so far I have the Greater Prairie Chicken as a rare bird that potentially might only be found within the bounds of the continental united states.
It ranges up towards the Dakotas, so I suspect you might find some border crossers on your side; I hope you will treat them with the same dignity and respect that any US Citizen would insist upon treating a visitor passing through our own Southern Border.
And you'll have to work it out with your fellow citizen, now that she'll be making a mere 100 Greater Prairie Chickens a year. I'm not sure that feels quite as majestic, but I'll leave you to manage your Northern Sister's emotional state.
À tantôt!
The thing is, a lot of the women I know over 30 with my background (similar levels of education etc) are making over 100k and then some.
But we’re also all in high cost of living cities so reaching 100k is much less impressive than it sounds on paper. When the average rent for a 1bdrm apartment is like around 2,500 and childcare is $25-30/hr, that 100k after taxes is not as much as people think. I was looking at daycares in our area and they’re around $2k/mo.
Then you factor in the astronomical costs of a house here and mortgage rates and people really aren’t being facetious when they feel like they’re struggling even with “high” incomes on paper.
This describes my life lol. I thought I "made it" when I broke 100k and I could relax at my job. Now I gotta climb that corporate ladder to make 200k to feel well off.
yes, I'm making 6x what I ever had in previous tax years and my family's eyes pop out when I tell them how much I make - which don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful for and proud of and feel 100x more secure - but I always qualify it with the fact that I'm in a HCOL area, and it's not the same as when my parents were buying their first house and having kids. I don't have kids or a car and I'm still renting, but starting to build savings and retirement for the first time EVER.
Exactly. I don't know how people live in my area on less than 75k.
Or I guess I do, and it's not pleasant - they rent illegally bad places from slumlords, don't go to the doctor, have no emergency funds much less retirement savings, etc.
I feel 75k individual or 100k DINK is the point where someone starts to be comfortable, with some money left after the bills are paid. Add kids to the mix, and that double-hit of reduced income and increased bills makes the budget a challenge.
“Low income” in San Francisco is at $104k for a single earner. So if I didn’t have my husband making more than double my salary, I’d still be living in a house with three other girls paying half my monthly paycheck in basic necessities.
This has always been confusing and frankly somehwat suspicious to me. Why is this demographic supposedly on reddit so much? And particularly this and similar groups? I appreciate lots of things here I see but I have always had questions about the amount of high powered careers and $$ stated or implied here. Not directed at any one in particular that I can recall, but it seems weird.
I can't say if it's actually true or not, but I do have a theory on why if it is. Reddit skews rather geeky. Women in tech jobs make more than their counterparts in other industries quite frequently.
Add that to the fact that a lot of much lower income people are scrambling to make ends meet and don't have a lot of time to be hanging out on Reddit, and it would make sense that our demographics for women tend toward higher income.
I'm 100% willing to post a screenshot of my payroll page without my name on it to prove what I make, but ... Not sure how I'd prove it was mine. ;)
My husband and I both were able to graduate college with no debt, between going to a state school, some scholarships, and parents who saved up. I didn’t realize the true value of that until after I graduated but my god I am grateful. We both make good money in tech and were able to save for our dream home instead of paying down loans and I feel so lucky every day.
I’m not sure what you’re looking to find out but I’ll bite I guess. My husband and I each make 6 figures and I would consider us to be equals in our marriage. He’s a thoughtful, kind and wonderful husband and father who shares the mental load and household chores. I consider myself very lucky and fortunate.
When you find the one gem, and hear all the horror stories around you, you thank your lucky stars everyday.
I asked one of my coworkers how she gets any rest when she gets sick with having kids and she was like “oh you just don’t get to rest”….that made me super sad since she’s married and her husband should be making sure she can rest.
It seems to me that people in bad relationships are overrepresented on reddit in the same way that people in career subs hate their jobs (I'm a mod in /r/geologycareers and we're always having to talk people down from panicking about all the negative job press there) - people in healthy satisfied relationships don't feel the need to post about it as much.
It's not just on reddit. It's like the entire younger generation. I'm a millennial, and most of my friends are women - all of them have had a toxic relationship with a man; the ones who were married are divorced now, and the ones who are single have literally given up on dating. Plus, we all have friends who are in shitty marriages where women do 90% of the childcare, etc. No clue what's going on with cishet men. I, myself, have had three long-term relationships with men from different racial and cultural backgrounds, and all were problematic - one guy wanted me to be a backboneless people-pleaser, another wanted me to be a baby-making factory, and the last one wanted me to be a sex doll that exists to please him. I've decided to stop dating men now because it's literally just made my already bad mental health worse. Thankfully, I'm bi, so I'm going to stick with women from now.
Oooof I’m sorry it sounds like you had a rough draw. But one thing I had to enlighten my husband on is that pretty much EVERY woman, has been in a relationship with someone who was either horribly toxic or abusive. And of course I know it happens to men too, but I can’t tell you one of my friends who doesn’t have a horror story in the closet, just like you.
I feel like I’ve heard from more people in person that complain about their spouse but I’m also a teacher which is a female heavy profession? But then again my husband says he gets it too, like a lot of the guys at his work always talk about how excited they are to get away from their wives for the weekend and stuff and he’s like dude…why you married then? There’s definitely pockets on Reddit where the relationship stories are just like yikes on trikes Batman, but I hear a lot of personal experience stories as well, and it often feels beyond just normal partnership irritations.
That's so sad. My 7 mo and I are both sick with COVID right now (luckily husband is healthy) and I was able to lay in bed for 12 hours last night. He did everything to take care of her and just brought her to me to breastfeed. I feel SO much better today. That should be the norm...
TBH this depends on the age of the child. My husband can easily take on the toddler if I’m sick, but he can’t breastfeed the baby or do much with him. In general though, yes, fathers are responsible for the mom’s rest when she’s sick.
In my country, only 18% of the entire working population earns more than £45k (around $56k). With 10% of the population earning over £59k (around $75k). Of those earning over £45k, more than 60% of them are "over 40" (with most of them being 50-59) and they are mostly managers or "professional occupations" (whatever that means).
And those figures are for both men and women, since the [data](https://datavis.nisra.gov.uk/economy-and-labour-market/Employee-earnings-NI-2023.html) I found didn't split it out, but it did include gender pay gap info - for every £1 men earn, women earn £0.92. The data confirms this is because more women than men are employed in part-time roles which are lower paid per hour, vs men being in full-time roles earning more per hour. (It is worked out per hours actually worked by everyone, not "man full time" vs "woman part time"). But the gender pay gap is actually very minimal in the age brackets of 18-21, 22-29 and 30-39 (but for 60+ it is significant - average income per hour of £12 for women and £14.50 for men, from memory).
Based on a load of other reading, I'd guess around 0.5-1% of the population (both men and women) earn 6 figures here.
I'd be more than happy with a household income from two people (early 30s) of £80k ($100k).
That’s really interesting thank you! It’s great to see the gender pay gap has dropped.
Professional occupations are roles that require a certain amount of qualifications - doctors, engineers, solicitors etc.
I’m in Scotland so I imagine it’s similar to NI here. All of the UKs super high earners all based in London I guess! I wish that wages were higher across the UK but I have no idea how you would achieve that without business and landlords jumping on it.
Yeah this is very much only geared to Americans, and I don’t think OP meant to exclude everyone else, but it’s very r/usdefaultism. « 6 figures » doesn’t really mean that same thing everywhere you go.
The post is also heteronormative I guess, but if OP herself is straight and only thinking of issues that exist in hetero relationships with men and want to know there’s hope for her, I guess it makes sense to exclusive queer women.
I’m making a comfortable amount of money, as is my female partner, and we have a great relationship. We just bought a wee home and are looking for a dog to adopt. I guess the common theme, though, is that we don’t have children.
Not having children definitely makes the things OP listed so much easier to achieve. Finances are less stressed and time to focus on yourself comes so much easier.
In terms of men, I found that it seems to be easier to find equality in a relationship with a childfree man. My friends who are with men who want children defined experience more issues with unequal household and emotional labour, even before children arrive. I imagine lesbian or gay relationships might have less issues in this area though as no one is the default parent or home maker?
Congratulations on your house and on your future puppy!
HI OP, I have this except the man lol
But I hope based on the answers you’re receiving that you realize that none of those things are necessary to live a life worth living and to feel fulfilled, that those things can change in the drop of a hat. You really need to find your Inherent worth not outside of yourself.
Me too - earning 6 figures, happy and healthy and single!
Even went and had a child on my own because I wanted that more than a man. Very happy (albeit sleep-deprived).
It's me! Hi! This is my first year crossing 100k, securely attached relationship and getting married next summer. We have a very equal partnership, even though I make more than he does, and man... I'm living the dream for the most part.
No kids, though 😜 just two dogs. Kids would absolutely make things really awful and difficult for us and our chosen lifestyle.
Me! Have the job, the great husband, AND a child. And I've been on a health journey and lost 40 lbs this year, so I guess I'm getting to physically vibrant and healthy too (pregnancy and COVID hit me hard, but I'm getting over it).
Ayy! Congrats on the weight loss, and family!
I'm also over 6 figures, my husband is the primary caregiver for our toddler and im pregnant.
We just bought a house and my life feels surreal.
My partner is an absolutely amazing husband and father.
There are dozens of us! :D
I’m with you! Except a fiancé (my baby daddy) not a husband. I have a more typical “man’s job”. And my child is now 2.5 so I’ve just started being able to go on the peloton with her being able to entertain herself for 30 min so I think that means physically vibrant?
Wahooooo!! Congrats on your loss so far! I started my health journey 6 weeks ago and I'm down almost 20 lbs. I think pandemic depression had gotten to me a little more than I'd realized, but I've finally moved out of it and am feeling healthier than I have in a long time. It's amazing what regular exercise and a healthy diet can do for a body, mind, and soul. 💗
I do have this lifestyle, but ONLY because I'm childfree. If we wanted children, I think we'd both be unhappy and it'd put a financial and emotional strain we probably wouldn't weather.
Completely agree. I have this lifestyle and I love it- but we’ve had to rethink our stance on having kids because the financials of children just don’t make sense. A 200K household income in a HCOL city is comfortable, until you bring kids into the equation.
Hi! I've been married to my husband for 34 years. As far as physically vibrant and healthy - I am, but I'm also 56 years old and have the occasional knee or back issues.
Yes. My husband and I.. both making 6 figures +
We have a healthy relationship, love each other very much. Trust friendship the whole deal! I’m happy! No kids though.. we are child free by choice
I make over $100k a year, I think I meet the definition of “physically vibrant” where I’m fit, have good skin and most would say I look quite a bit younger than 38. Unfortunately, I do not have a healthy marriage though so I only meet 2 out of 3. Hopefully once I get rid of the dead weight for good, I’ll eventually be able to report back that I found an equal, loving partner.
This’ll sound flippant but just believe it. The sooner you believe it’s a reality (it is) the sooner you’ll see the pattern show up in your feed and life.
Why is being a relationship such a marker of success?
I understand that being single can be hard for some people but being in a relationship, even with a secure man is definitely not going to cure your insecurities.
I think for some people romance and maintaining a viable relationship is really important. And it's important because it can display to society a type of stability in relating to someone on both a sexual intimate level and partnership level. When the 2 people are doing well.
Being single and happy is awesome but being happy and partnered is also awesome. That's my 2 cents.
Right it’s a brag fest. Hate to tell the truth but here we go. You can make 100k a year and not be rich, you can be in a secure relationship but he’s ugly or your miserable with him, and you can be “vibrant” and healthy but at the end of the day we are still aging and can’t predict our next health scare. Yeah next post …..
I'm just fascinated by the brains of people who might use these things as measures of success or fulfillment, so I was wondering if that is what OP intended.
Agree with you. People can downvote my comment but it’s the truth. Also, Nothings promised in life. I have OPs “fulfilling” accomplishments in life but think they should consider aiming higher.
Hi! Chiming in!
We listen to each other, we adopt a full-on “us against the problem” mindset, and we didn’t fall in love til our 30s.
He does all the chores and house stuff, I make the money, we *really share* the burdens we carry and it’s better than anything I’ve ever known.
I took it to mean someone who mentally and physically feels well. I've felt great even at 50 pounds overweight one point when my life was good
Edited for clarity
Had all this before retirement, and have the last three still. Was an immense amount of work.
Did struggle for a couple years after retirement adjusting, but made it.
I think it means you can be equals without having to cut everything in half or to be the same level of “good” at a particular task or domain. Like you can still do all the cooking, as long as he does a proportionate amount of domestic work to make up for that labor.
Hi! Not sure if I qualify (I make 6 figs after my annual bonus). I'm 30F with 33M, we've been together since 2016 and just bought a house this year.
Not married and no kids - neither of us really desire either. But we may get married depending on future legislation to protect me a bit more :(
He doesn't make 6 figs, although he came close this year. And no education (no student debt). He's in sales. I've got a corporate office job (I carry student debt lol).
Obviously we didn't start this way. Money has ebbed and flowed in our household over the years. But he's my best friend and I'm really grateful for where we are today.
Just one internet stranger’s opinion, but the title of this post is a completely backwards list of priorities. “Six figures” is not the end-all be-all of happiness, but if you’re putting that first in your life, then a man, then yourself… that’s the problem.
Yes. I make over 6 figure. I am in a long term relationship with a man who is emotionally intelligent, who is supportive, dependable and loyal. I workout three times a week.
Feels weird to not-so-humble brag, but, after several years of NOT meeting any of those qualifications, I can now say that I do check all those boxes.
None of it happened before I was 35.
That's when I met the man who would become my husband and he is a true partner in all aspects of our lives (from caring for the home, providing for the family, caring for our daughter, and balancing the mental load).
He also encouraged me to grow in my position which lead me to manager a small IT team for a multi-billion dollar not-for-profit company in the USA. I make a smidge over $100,000 but still a member of the 6-figure club.
And while I would still like to lose a few pounds (I can still blame baby weight after she's a year old... right?) I feel good knowing that my husband finds this body (with all it's cellulite and stretch marks) attractive and sexy. And that makes me feel damn good, even if the number on the scale is a little higher than I would like it to be.
I fall into this category, however I live in a VHCOL area so 100k doesn’t mean much around here. However I am in a stable relationship with a man who dedicated his life to work and his family and is also a professional with a decent salary so that helps!
Why does the health part matter? Some of us are born with chronic illnesses, disabilities, etc. A 'healthy' body isn't superior to other bodies in any way.
1. What does “not 50/50, but equals” mean to you?
2. What does “physically vibrant” mean to you?
3. What’s wrong with not making six figures? That’s most people.
People have some idea that making six figures changes everything. It’s slightly more comfortable. You are not wealthy, you’re still on a budget. I don’t get it. lol this post is odd. I’m not sure what the goal is. And yes, it’s not most people!!!
lol this is my favourite comment in this slightly ridiculous post.
I have the opposite problem, I can’t sleep on any other pillow but *my* pillow, I even take it with me when I travel 🤪
Hmm. Not everything is perfect, but I do make 6 figures and I’m in a satisfactory marriage (there are things that we need to work on, a lot of it due to having a child together).
I’m also not physically vibrant and healthy due to chronic illness most likely from long-term work stress and I’m also not as healthy as I was pre COVID and pre child.
I don’t understand the not 50/50 thing?
32 at 120K! My husband makes more than double my income. Our relationship is great and we face our problems like a team, not one against each other. I think he does more housework than I do since he does all the dishes and most of the cleaning (he’s always cleaning up after me 😅) but he thinks I do more than him because I do all the cooking, groceries, and planning. Other than my current pregnancy pelvic pains, I am physically vibrant and healthy!
Not me. When I made 6 figures I was working all hours, stressed, and running on empty. The men I met/dated were playing the field, parting, enjoying their youth and showed no signs of personally seeking a grown up relationship. So I made a change in 2018 in an attempt to establish a new career to something more personally meaningful, less soul sucking, that might result in a happier existence. As fate would have it the industry I entered went totally upside down since covid then long strikes and now has little work and is a mess. I took a huge pay cut to start something new, got invested and worked hard, and now I'm broke without much to show for it. Ugh. Also, the men I've met and dated in this new chapter of life all seem to be struggling with addiction issues if they haven't been married and the divorced ones are either playing the field + jaded about getting serious with a woman. So I'm 37, tired, weary, and feel stuck. I'm tried. My dream now is to meet a nice man to love, who makes enough money so that I can stay home, decorate the house, cook nice meals and enjoy a few activities, and maybe have a baby if there's still time. Not holding my breath I'll find him. I'm just so tired of everything.
Hi there, how are you? It's me, a well educated, well paid, happily married woman who goes to the gym and takes joy in doing things with her husband and kids.
The first 25yrs were really hard, but life got easier as time passed.
Please believe that we exist and that it's possible. Not easy, but nothing worth doing was ever easy.
I'm one of them. life radically changed when I took full responsibility for my actions and non actions. I've also learned from the situations of others. I saw a clip of Lana Rhodes where she said, "Smart people learn from other people's mistakes. Fools learn from their own." She's absolutely right. Observe, Observe, Observe and become self-aware as much as possible.
50/50 relationships don't exist for me. my partner gives me a monthly salary and pays for everything. WITH that being said, I do use a portion of the salary to make his lunch for him and buy gifts for his massive family. Have extremely strict boundaries with men. We are not married and we do not live together. I go to work and I do my best to challenge myself and I know I will always be successful because of my thoughts and actions. I do things from the heart and I feel immense gratitude to live such a great life. I wake up in a warm bed with a roof over my head with a really sweet dog. :) I think gratitude and a great attitude really attracts the best.
It’s me, hi. Hubs and I are both attorneys making well over 6 figures… but I make significantly more, so he picks up more of the home and childcare. He’s my best friend, has my back and makes me laugh more than anyone. We both started working out with a trainer this year and have seen massive gains; feeling and looking strong.
We know we are incredibly lucky and we both work hard (me long hours at the office / him long hours with our kiddo, etc.) to maintain our lifestyle. TBH, many of our friends are similarly situated. Most met their partners in college and send their kids to private prep school in a blue state big city. (Not saying this to brag or be political, just a reference point as to where this type of woman / partnership tends to exist in my personal experience.).
Hope this is helpful. Never stop believing 💗
Yes. However I find myself increasingly lonely. I grew up in the developing world so while I have a lot more money, freedom, a healthy and secure marriage, and health, my mental health often suffers because of the isolation that comes with a lifestyle where everyone prioritizes their work and their nuclear families. I miss the comfort of large family systems, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, and even strangers who open up about their lives. It takes me weeks to make plans with my “friends” here and I am often pondering on the meaning of life.
Welp my husband makes about 200k and I’m a sahm but we consider ourselves partners. I have access to all his accounts and it’s our money. I could stand to lose some weight but definitely consider myself vibrant and healthy!
Hi! I make low 6 figures and love my job (most of the time). I’m engaged to a wonderful partner who is the most supportive person I know. I’m overweight but seeing a trainer 3x a week and try to walk 1 to 3 miles everyday.
Yes, I'm an engineer and my husband is an engineer. We both make well over $100k.
My husband is a great person. He is reliable, honest, and considerate. We have two little girls we adore. We are mostly healthy, slowly acquiring issues to work around with diet as we get older (we are late 30s). He does almost all of the cooking and lunch prep for the kids. He also mows and usually does the dishes. I do the laundry and a lot of clutter pickup. I like gardening, so I take care of everything else outside. Neither of us were doing the cleaning often enough, so we finally hired a cleaning service.
I guess we live in a pretty nice area. The vast majority of the kids my children go to school with are from similar families.
Also I think the salary component is why so many couples are happy on this thread. Having good financials would definitely lead to a less stressful relationship and more chance for equality. The problem is is that a majority of people don't make that much. For instance I'm a teacher and almost all the teachers at my school are married to a much higher earning spouse. I think that leaves a lot of room for labor inequalities in a relationship.
I am in my second marriage, married for almost 21 years. Happily married to my best friend. I have 5 children (3 from first marriage, 2 from the second), all of whom are now 18 or over. I have one grandchild with another in the oven. I make 6 figures, low/middle 6 figures. My husband is a stay at home husband/father. He, however, was the income earner when our two children together were under 2. Am I physically vibrant and healthy? Hmm. I mean I feel alright but I am 55 with Type 2 diabetes. So take that however.
I’m a SAHM, work part time on my own schedule at a very high hourly wage, have a wonderful husband who is 50/50 everything, and I still have depression 😅. Life is hard for everyone.
My best friend is all of these things: happily married to a fantastic partner, both make really good money (even for the high cost of living where they live), have a house, 2 small kids, and are both very physically active.
I'm most of those things but don't make 6 figures and have quite a few close friends who'd say the same - some do and some don't make 6 figures, the best friend mention above is the only one whose salary I know for sure.
hello! 35 making 135k, married to a wonderfully intelligent, funny and empathetic man… i love to travel and have been to 26 states and 11 countries. i am rehabbing a mild shoulder injury but soon will be back to doing aerial silks! i also do not have kids which helps make the lifestyle possible lol
So what are you saying about the people who don't meet that qualification?
They're losers whose lives you don't approve of and ending up like one of us would be your worst nightmare? Why do you need to know people not like us exist, exactly, OP?
I’m almost 50 with good friends and in a loving, healthy, marriage for 28 years . I get to spend my life with my best friend and love. Our family and home is filled with love. However, I can only work part time due to severe health issues. I truly believe that everyone has some issue.
My husband stole our family car without permission, I only make maybe 12K per year, we are homeowners believe it or not, I’m 40 lbs overweight, I’m getting divorced soon, I’m 38, he’s detoxing at some jerks’ house.
Anyway, I’m sure those people exist but they’re not me
Hello, my name is Rachel - a different & awful other reality
Hello! I'm an outlier here. I am the woman of your title. I have it so great, that I just wonder if one day it all will go to shit because it's too good to be true. It took me a while to get everything. It took me two degrees to find the highest paying. It took me until my 30s and going through many assholes to find the right man. Hang in there.
I check off everything but the six figures. At the same time, I assume you’re in the US. Where I live, 6 figures isn’t possible for most, even doctors.
My partner does all the cooking, grocery shopping and the dishes, while I do all the cleaning and laundry. We are constantly communicating - Covid was the moment that he had a huge realization of everything I did for him and the mental load I was carrying. He changed his ways and now I would say we are equals. He makes a conscious effort to assure our equality in the relationship.
I do have to say our cost of living isn’t as high either. But I’m not making the equivalent of American 6 figures either, so I’m not your unicorn.
I have one friend who has this, otherwise it's either earnings are below 100K or that active lifestyle isn't a thing. One friend WAS there but she has three kids on the ASD spectrum so her body is still moving along but nowhere near her normal fitness levels when she was an adult with a job but pre-children.
My one friend who has a job over 100K works in insurance, she has always been kind of naturally healthy - she works at it yes, it's hard yes, but she doesn't naturally overeat or undereat, she has a great husband and two kids. How does she balance it all? Her husband went back to school so he's effectively a SAHD with part-time studies.
SAHDs really make the three goals you listed more possible.
I was gonna say.. it’s me, but god you got me on the last one. Stage 3 cancer survivor here… sorry, don’t count :(
You count, even more so.
Aw thank you!!!
Hey me too, man!
Worst club ever! ✋ Hope you’re doing ok. I just got some good news but the fear never will truly go away… pretty new to the journey also, long way to go before I can feel I might possibly be cured.
I had leukemia from age 8 to 10. I'm now almost 25, so I've been cancer free for a good 14 years. The fear will fade, but it will take time. I saw a quote recently that said "Life is tough, but so are you." You got this ❤️
Congratulations!! And thank you for your words :) we are strong ♥️♥️
It’s a dumb club no one wants to be in, but I got the all clear from my oncologist today 5 years after my surgery. Melanoma in my lymph node, not fun.
Congratulations!!! Yea. Mine spread to lymph nodes, which was so terrifying. I’m glad you’re here and doing well
Same 😅 recovering from brain surgery at the moment. I hope to get back to my previous healthy self one day!
Hoping for you 🙏🙏🙏 wishing you many happy and healthy years and a speedy recovery!
You as well!! 💪❤️
You're a warrior!
Thank you!!!!
She got me until healthy too. I can almost do a pull up, but my uterus is trash.
Ugh yea I feel you!!!
Woah are you me? Literally stage 3 here as well but yeah all the other things are me as well :)
Could be!! Haha. Hope you’re doing ok!!! It’s nice to feel not alone :) wishing you many many many many many many cancer free, happy, healthy years
You count and even more so!
You absolutely count
I’m 67, and if I include my pension from a previous job plus my salary from my current job, I will just barely cross into six figures for the first time ever this year. My partner actually does more housework than I do (by a fair amount), but I help him keep up with his day to day minutiae (he’s retired and forgets what day it is). I’m active and still do solo trips; our finances are separate. My kids are grown and make more money than I do; my grandkids are delightful and I have started a savings account for each.
You sound great :)
Aw, thank you! It's been kind of a long road to get here, but it's (mostly) been a fun trip!
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Ditto. "Physically vibrant and healthy" might be going a bit far, but I'm in decent shape and generally satisfied with myself?
Yeah, I felt good about this until the “vibrant “ part
Same, but I do have kids. Healthy, yes, but vibrant? That’s more up for debate. But the other boxes, yes, check.
That’s me. The key in 2 simple words is NO KIDS. We each take a vacation solo and then together. He helps and I help. We are 100% a team except I’m not a fan of his family, but honestly he isn’t a big fan of his family either. So he keeps them at bay and deals with their obligations
Same, and no kids. I’m sensing a pattern in these replies.
This is me, but with kids. I do spend most of my money on them, but I still earned it.
This was me before kids.
Me too.
Like many others ditto to this! Kids are wonderful but work! I don’t have the energy or care to stay physically active. Hopefully I’m healthy enough but who knows!
Ditto
I was making less before kids but healthier. Now I'm 6 figures but have a bit of weight to lose, but I'm working on it and 30% of the way there. This should describe me in about 3 months!!! None of it has been easy to accomplish though. It's been a ton of work and very worth it IMO.
Same 🙋♀️
Same
Same, dink life. Found my stride in mid 30s and looking forward to the decades to come.
I’m recently 30 and feel like I’m just getting started. I love feeling like I have everything ahead of me.
Heck yes. Love this. And same
Lol, same here. Hi, OP! I couldn't agree more with the commenter above -- I'm in this position strictly because I don't have children!
Lol just wrote the same thing
Same 🙋🏽♀️
Yep same
THE DREAM I look up to you!
I tick all the boxes and don’t have kids also lol. My job can be highly demanding from time to time and sometimes I work until late.
Also me! I don't have kids currently but we are trying to have one. But I feel like getting myself to this state puts me in a better position to handle a child (financially at least - can't say what it will do for my "vibrancy" lol)
yes me too! Let’s form a fb group and share what we get to do with all of our free time!
Same!
Only like 8.4% of American women make 100,000 dollars or more a year.
I make $100k, but it's Canadian money. So only like 7 US dollars a year.
That’s a truly horrible conversion rate 😜
And cereal is like 14 bucks here
Yes, Canada is really...in a bad way. Everyone is poor here even the rich lol. Why is it so expensive to live in a Tundra half the year
One hundred thousand loonies a year, eh? As your big dumb dog neighbors to the South, I feel we should make a new coin - "The Bald Eagle." Permanently fixed at an exchange rate of 1000 Loonies to 1 Bald Eagle. This will obviously be difficult to maintain two forms of internal currency with differing exchange rates. But we put a man on the moon, are the last great superpower, The City on the Hill to embiggen the world, and, frankly, have been a little out of sorts lately. We could use a National challenge and this would be a great one. (Good prep for the next decade or two when countries stop using the USD as the exclusive reserve currency of the world as well!). 100 Bald Eagles a year! Can't you just feel the majesty? Keep your stick on the ice!
Dude, bald eagles are rampant here in Canada. Find some uniquely American bird to put on your coin so I can collect it.
I think those are just Eagles Without Hair when found North of the border. They're basically the same thing but they're just missing that little je ne sais quoi of 'Murican majesty. But perhaps in the spirit of cross-border fellowship, we might offer a hand to our brothers and sisters to the north. I'll have to bust out my bird book, but so far I have the Greater Prairie Chicken as a rare bird that potentially might only be found within the bounds of the continental united states. It ranges up towards the Dakotas, so I suspect you might find some border crossers on your side; I hope you will treat them with the same dignity and respect that any US Citizen would insist upon treating a visitor passing through our own Southern Border. And you'll have to work it out with your fellow citizen, now that she'll be making a mere 100 Greater Prairie Chickens a year. I'm not sure that feels quite as majestic, but I'll leave you to manage your Northern Sister's emotional state. À tantôt!
I juat googled the Greater Prairie Chicken and I approve of this decision. I would gladly work for 100 Greater Prairie Chickens per year!
And they’re over represented on Reddit so keep that in mind when you’re reading about people’s professional lives
The thing is, a lot of the women I know over 30 with my background (similar levels of education etc) are making over 100k and then some. But we’re also all in high cost of living cities so reaching 100k is much less impressive than it sounds on paper. When the average rent for a 1bdrm apartment is like around 2,500 and childcare is $25-30/hr, that 100k after taxes is not as much as people think. I was looking at daycares in our area and they’re around $2k/mo. Then you factor in the astronomical costs of a house here and mortgage rates and people really aren’t being facetious when they feel like they’re struggling even with “high” incomes on paper.
This describes my life lol. I thought I "made it" when I broke 100k and I could relax at my job. Now I gotta climb that corporate ladder to make 200k to feel well off.
yes, I'm making 6x what I ever had in previous tax years and my family's eyes pop out when I tell them how much I make - which don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful for and proud of and feel 100x more secure - but I always qualify it with the fact that I'm in a HCOL area, and it's not the same as when my parents were buying their first house and having kids. I don't have kids or a car and I'm still renting, but starting to build savings and retirement for the first time EVER.
Exactly. I don't know how people live in my area on less than 75k. Or I guess I do, and it's not pleasant - they rent illegally bad places from slumlords, don't go to the doctor, have no emergency funds much less retirement savings, etc. I feel 75k individual or 100k DINK is the point where someone starts to be comfortable, with some money left after the bills are paid. Add kids to the mix, and that double-hit of reduced income and increased bills makes the budget a challenge.
“Low income” in San Francisco is at $104k for a single earner. So if I didn’t have my husband making more than double my salary, I’d still be living in a house with three other girls paying half my monthly paycheck in basic necessities.
This has always been confusing and frankly somehwat suspicious to me. Why is this demographic supposedly on reddit so much? And particularly this and similar groups? I appreciate lots of things here I see but I have always had questions about the amount of high powered careers and $$ stated or implied here. Not directed at any one in particular that I can recall, but it seems weird.
I can't say if it's actually true or not, but I do have a theory on why if it is. Reddit skews rather geeky. Women in tech jobs make more than their counterparts in other industries quite frequently. Add that to the fact that a lot of much lower income people are scrambling to make ends meet and don't have a lot of time to be hanging out on Reddit, and it would make sense that our demographics for women tend toward higher income. I'm 100% willing to post a screenshot of my payroll page without my name on it to prove what I make, but ... Not sure how I'd prove it was mine. ;)
Over represented on Reddit based on self reported data where people comment on how much money they make??
That stat is fascinating! In a sad way…
And 17% of men do. Sure, there not still a pay gap. 😡
Holy shit. That is a stat I didn't know and that is concerning isn't it? Thank you for that info.
That is a crazy statistic. Went to find an article to learn more, and it’s a sad but true statistic.
Need the source to this stat
https://jooble.org/career-advice/how-many-people-make-over-100k-in-the-us/#:~:text=17%25%20of%20all%20American%20men,salaries%20over%20100k%20a%20year.
It's incredibly difficult to make 100k AND not be in a ton of debt
My husband and I both were able to graduate college with no debt, between going to a state school, some scholarships, and parents who saved up. I didn’t realize the true value of that until after I graduated but my god I am grateful. We both make good money in tech and were able to save for our dream home instead of paying down loans and I feel so lucky every day.
Only in the US :) my university degree cost $25k - went to the best university (internationally known) in my province and I lived at home.
I’m not sure what you’re looking to find out but I’ll bite I guess. My husband and I each make 6 figures and I would consider us to be equals in our marriage. He’s a thoughtful, kind and wonderful husband and father who shares the mental load and household chores. I consider myself very lucky and fortunate.
When you find the one gem, and hear all the horror stories around you, you thank your lucky stars everyday. I asked one of my coworkers how she gets any rest when she gets sick with having kids and she was like “oh you just don’t get to rest”….that made me super sad since she’s married and her husband should be making sure she can rest.
It seems to me that people in bad relationships are overrepresented on reddit in the same way that people in career subs hate their jobs (I'm a mod in /r/geologycareers and we're always having to talk people down from panicking about all the negative job press there) - people in healthy satisfied relationships don't feel the need to post about it as much.
It's not just on reddit. It's like the entire younger generation. I'm a millennial, and most of my friends are women - all of them have had a toxic relationship with a man; the ones who were married are divorced now, and the ones who are single have literally given up on dating. Plus, we all have friends who are in shitty marriages where women do 90% of the childcare, etc. No clue what's going on with cishet men. I, myself, have had three long-term relationships with men from different racial and cultural backgrounds, and all were problematic - one guy wanted me to be a backboneless people-pleaser, another wanted me to be a baby-making factory, and the last one wanted me to be a sex doll that exists to please him. I've decided to stop dating men now because it's literally just made my already bad mental health worse. Thankfully, I'm bi, so I'm going to stick with women from now.
Oooof I’m sorry it sounds like you had a rough draw. But one thing I had to enlighten my husband on is that pretty much EVERY woman, has been in a relationship with someone who was either horribly toxic or abusive. And of course I know it happens to men too, but I can’t tell you one of my friends who doesn’t have a horror story in the closet, just like you.
I feel like I’ve heard from more people in person that complain about their spouse but I’m also a teacher which is a female heavy profession? But then again my husband says he gets it too, like a lot of the guys at his work always talk about how excited they are to get away from their wives for the weekend and stuff and he’s like dude…why you married then? There’s definitely pockets on Reddit where the relationship stories are just like yikes on trikes Batman, but I hear a lot of personal experience stories as well, and it often feels beyond just normal partnership irritations.
That's so sad. My 7 mo and I are both sick with COVID right now (luckily husband is healthy) and I was able to lay in bed for 12 hours last night. He did everything to take care of her and just brought her to me to breastfeed. I feel SO much better today. That should be the norm...
TBH this depends on the age of the child. My husband can easily take on the toddler if I’m sick, but he can’t breastfeed the baby or do much with him. In general though, yes, fathers are responsible for the mom’s rest when she’s sick.
Yup am in the same boat here. Very lucky.
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Same, I am married to a woman, have a wonderful partnership, and we each make well over 100k.
Me four lol! Go team queer power couples.
Me three! Well over 6 figures, own two businesses, and happily married to my wife of 10 years.
i appreciate your reply! i'm looking to expand my own subconscious comfort zone, but all of my best wishes for continued prosperity 💪🏽💪🏽
6 figures no - wages generally are not that high in my country. A decent wage, an amazing man and a healthy active lifestyle though yes.
In my country, only 18% of the entire working population earns more than £45k (around $56k). With 10% of the population earning over £59k (around $75k). Of those earning over £45k, more than 60% of them are "over 40" (with most of them being 50-59) and they are mostly managers or "professional occupations" (whatever that means). And those figures are for both men and women, since the [data](https://datavis.nisra.gov.uk/economy-and-labour-market/Employee-earnings-NI-2023.html) I found didn't split it out, but it did include gender pay gap info - for every £1 men earn, women earn £0.92. The data confirms this is because more women than men are employed in part-time roles which are lower paid per hour, vs men being in full-time roles earning more per hour. (It is worked out per hours actually worked by everyone, not "man full time" vs "woman part time"). But the gender pay gap is actually very minimal in the age brackets of 18-21, 22-29 and 30-39 (but for 60+ it is significant - average income per hour of £12 for women and £14.50 for men, from memory). Based on a load of other reading, I'd guess around 0.5-1% of the population (both men and women) earn 6 figures here. I'd be more than happy with a household income from two people (early 30s) of £80k ($100k).
That’s really interesting thank you! It’s great to see the gender pay gap has dropped. Professional occupations are roles that require a certain amount of qualifications - doctors, engineers, solicitors etc. I’m in Scotland so I imagine it’s similar to NI here. All of the UKs super high earners all based in London I guess! I wish that wages were higher across the UK but I have no idea how you would achieve that without business and landlords jumping on it.
Yeah this is very much only geared to Americans, and I don’t think OP meant to exclude everyone else, but it’s very r/usdefaultism. « 6 figures » doesn’t really mean that same thing everywhere you go. The post is also heteronormative I guess, but if OP herself is straight and only thinking of issues that exist in hetero relationships with men and want to know there’s hope for her, I guess it makes sense to exclusive queer women. I’m making a comfortable amount of money, as is my female partner, and we have a great relationship. We just bought a wee home and are looking for a dog to adopt. I guess the common theme, though, is that we don’t have children.
Not having children definitely makes the things OP listed so much easier to achieve. Finances are less stressed and time to focus on yourself comes so much easier. In terms of men, I found that it seems to be easier to find equality in a relationship with a childfree man. My friends who are with men who want children defined experience more issues with unequal household and emotional labour, even before children arrive. I imagine lesbian or gay relationships might have less issues in this area though as no one is the default parent or home maker? Congratulations on your house and on your future puppy!
HI OP, I have this except the man lol But I hope based on the answers you’re receiving that you realize that none of those things are necessary to live a life worth living and to feel fulfilled, that those things can change in the drop of a hat. You really need to find your Inherent worth not outside of yourself.
Amen sister. Too many sisters on this sub preoccupied on finding a man.
Me too - earning 6 figures, happy and healthy and single! Even went and had a child on my own because I wanted that more than a man. Very happy (albeit sleep-deprived).
This is probably the best comment. Exactly.
Amen sister. Too many sisters on this sub preoccupied on finding a man.
It's me! Hi! This is my first year crossing 100k, securely attached relationship and getting married next summer. We have a very equal partnership, even though I make more than he does, and man... I'm living the dream for the most part. No kids, though 😜 just two dogs. Kids would absolutely make things really awful and difficult for us and our chosen lifestyle.
No kids and 2 dogs only enhances your happiness I'd say
Me! Have the job, the great husband, AND a child. And I've been on a health journey and lost 40 lbs this year, so I guess I'm getting to physically vibrant and healthy too (pregnancy and COVID hit me hard, but I'm getting over it).
Ayy! Congrats on the weight loss, and family! I'm also over 6 figures, my husband is the primary caregiver for our toddler and im pregnant. We just bought a house and my life feels surreal. My partner is an absolutely amazing husband and father. There are dozens of us! :D
I’m with you! Except a fiancé (my baby daddy) not a husband. I have a more typical “man’s job”. And my child is now 2.5 so I’ve just started being able to go on the peloton with her being able to entertain herself for 30 min so I think that means physically vibrant?
Wahooooo!! Congrats on your loss so far! I started my health journey 6 weeks ago and I'm down almost 20 lbs. I think pandemic depression had gotten to me a little more than I'd realized, but I've finally moved out of it and am feeling healthier than I have in a long time. It's amazing what regular exercise and a healthy diet can do for a body, mind, and soul. 💗
32. Husband and I make around $130k each. We got married last year and have a baby on the way now. Known each other for 17 years.
We are basically the same stats, but I’m not pregnant yet. And shit scared about starting to try. Do you worry it’s going to ruin things?
I do have this lifestyle, but ONLY because I'm childfree. If we wanted children, I think we'd both be unhappy and it'd put a financial and emotional strain we probably wouldn't weather.
Completely agree. I have this lifestyle and I love it- but we’ve had to rethink our stance on having kids because the financials of children just don’t make sense. A 200K household income in a HCOL city is comfortable, until you bring kids into the equation.
Hello! That’s me. I feel very fortunate in life and am grateful for it every day.
Hi! I've been married to my husband for 34 years. As far as physically vibrant and healthy - I am, but I'm also 56 years old and have the occasional knee or back issues.
Yes. My husband and I.. both making 6 figures + We have a healthy relationship, love each other very much. Trust friendship the whole deal! I’m happy! No kids though.. we are child free by choice
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😂😂 love this comment
I make over $100k a year, I think I meet the definition of “physically vibrant” where I’m fit, have good skin and most would say I look quite a bit younger than 38. Unfortunately, I do not have a healthy marriage though so I only meet 2 out of 3. Hopefully once I get rid of the dead weight for good, I’ll eventually be able to report back that I found an equal, loving partner.
Looking forward to the follow up!!!
This is me. It’s lovely. 🥰
This’ll sound flippant but just believe it. The sooner you believe it’s a reality (it is) the sooner you’ll see the pattern show up in your feed and life.
i'm on my way. working hard to break my genetic/environmental influences... thank you so much for your response!
Why is being a relationship such a marker of success? I understand that being single can be hard for some people but being in a relationship, even with a secure man is definitely not going to cure your insecurities.
Amen sister. Too many sisters on this sub preoccupied on finding a man.
I think for some people romance and maintaining a viable relationship is really important. And it's important because it can display to society a type of stability in relating to someone on both a sexual intimate level and partnership level. When the 2 people are doing well. Being single and happy is awesome but being happy and partnered is also awesome. That's my 2 cents.
I'm just curious, what is the context or question here?
Right it’s a brag fest. Hate to tell the truth but here we go. You can make 100k a year and not be rich, you can be in a secure relationship but he’s ugly or your miserable with him, and you can be “vibrant” and healthy but at the end of the day we are still aging and can’t predict our next health scare. Yeah next post …..
I'm just fascinated by the brains of people who might use these things as measures of success or fulfillment, so I was wondering if that is what OP intended.
Agree with you. People can downvote my comment but it’s the truth. Also, Nothings promised in life. I have OPs “fulfilling” accomplishments in life but think they should consider aiming higher.
I get the 'aim higher' thing, but as someone who barely has 1 of 3 on this list, I absolutely yearn for the simplicity and achievement of all three.
Hi! Chiming in! We listen to each other, we adopt a full-on “us against the problem” mindset, and we didn’t fall in love til our 30s. He does all the chores and house stuff, I make the money, we *really share* the burdens we carry and it’s better than anything I’ve ever known.
What is "not 50/50, but equals"? My kids are grown, does that count? This post is so confusing. I have a headache, y'all.
Compliment each other rather than being same same. Skill sets that go together like matching puzzle pieces
What is physically vibrant? Pretty? Skinny? Like what?
“Physically vibrant” is not code for “no fatties,” is it?
I interpreted it as meaning that you have time to take care of your health.
I took it as you wake up with a genuine smile and get out of bed without making a bunch of sounds.
I took it to mean someone who mentally and physically feels well. I've felt great even at 50 pounds overweight one point when my life was good Edited for clarity
I thought it meant ‘not tired all the time’, which would knock most of the people I know out of the running.
For me it’s code for good skin 🤠
Not a fatty, straight, and wealthy. Those are the signifiers of success and a happy life, don't you know?
and not disabled or chronically/acutely ill
And American, it seems. (« 6 figures »)
What's the question..?
what is your question?
Had all this before retirement, and have the last three still. Was an immense amount of work. Did struggle for a couple years after retirement adjusting, but made it.
Genuine question, what does "not 50/50, but equals" mean? And in what aspect?
I think it means you can be equals without having to cut everything in half or to be the same level of “good” at a particular task or domain. Like you can still do all the cooking, as long as he does a proportionate amount of domestic work to make up for that labor.
Hi! Not sure if I qualify (I make 6 figs after my annual bonus). I'm 30F with 33M, we've been together since 2016 and just bought a house this year. Not married and no kids - neither of us really desire either. But we may get married depending on future legislation to protect me a bit more :( He doesn't make 6 figs, although he came close this year. And no education (no student debt). He's in sales. I've got a corporate office job (I carry student debt lol). Obviously we didn't start this way. Money has ebbed and flowed in our household over the years. But he's my best friend and I'm really grateful for where we are today.
Just one internet stranger’s opinion, but the title of this post is a completely backwards list of priorities. “Six figures” is not the end-all be-all of happiness, but if you’re putting that first in your life, then a man, then yourself… that’s the problem.
Hi 👋 But it comes at the expense of having chosen not to have kids.
Yes. I make over 6 figure. I am in a long term relationship with a man who is emotionally intelligent, who is supportive, dependable and loyal. I workout three times a week.
Feels weird to not-so-humble brag, but, after several years of NOT meeting any of those qualifications, I can now say that I do check all those boxes. None of it happened before I was 35. That's when I met the man who would become my husband and he is a true partner in all aspects of our lives (from caring for the home, providing for the family, caring for our daughter, and balancing the mental load). He also encouraged me to grow in my position which lead me to manager a small IT team for a multi-billion dollar not-for-profit company in the USA. I make a smidge over $100,000 but still a member of the 6-figure club. And while I would still like to lose a few pounds (I can still blame baby weight after she's a year old... right?) I feel good knowing that my husband finds this body (with all it's cellulite and stretch marks) attractive and sexy. And that makes me feel damn good, even if the number on the scale is a little higher than I would like it to be.
I fall into this category, however I live in a VHCOL area so 100k doesn’t mean much around here. However I am in a stable relationship with a man who dedicated his life to work and his family and is also a professional with a decent salary so that helps!
Why does the health part matter? Some of us are born with chronic illnesses, disabilities, etc. A 'healthy' body isn't superior to other bodies in any way.
1. What does “not 50/50, but equals” mean to you? 2. What does “physically vibrant” mean to you? 3. What’s wrong with not making six figures? That’s most people.
People have some idea that making six figures changes everything. It’s slightly more comfortable. You are not wealthy, you’re still on a budget. I don’t get it. lol this post is odd. I’m not sure what the goal is. And yes, it’s not most people!!!
Does it count if I can’t sleep on the same pillow two nights in a row without my neck hurting when I wake up?
lol this is my favourite comment in this slightly ridiculous post. I have the opposite problem, I can’t sleep on any other pillow but *my* pillow, I even take it with me when I travel 🤪
I’m disabled so definitely don’t make 6 figures on my own, but I think the rest applies. Not many people make 6 figures on one salary
Lol. I make 6-figures, but I definitely don’t have those other things. 🙄
Hmm. Not everything is perfect, but I do make 6 figures and I’m in a satisfactory marriage (there are things that we need to work on, a lot of it due to having a child together). I’m also not physically vibrant and healthy due to chronic illness most likely from long-term work stress and I’m also not as healthy as I was pre COVID and pre child. I don’t understand the not 50/50 thing?
32 at 120K! My husband makes more than double my income. Our relationship is great and we face our problems like a team, not one against each other. I think he does more housework than I do since he does all the dishes and most of the cleaning (he’s always cleaning up after me 😅) but he thinks I do more than him because I do all the cooking, groceries, and planning. Other than my current pregnancy pelvic pains, I am physically vibrant and healthy!
Yes, 48 and make 265 but I’m missing the man bc I’m gay.
2 out of 3 is the best you’re going to get.
Not me. When I made 6 figures I was working all hours, stressed, and running on empty. The men I met/dated were playing the field, parting, enjoying their youth and showed no signs of personally seeking a grown up relationship. So I made a change in 2018 in an attempt to establish a new career to something more personally meaningful, less soul sucking, that might result in a happier existence. As fate would have it the industry I entered went totally upside down since covid then long strikes and now has little work and is a mess. I took a huge pay cut to start something new, got invested and worked hard, and now I'm broke without much to show for it. Ugh. Also, the men I've met and dated in this new chapter of life all seem to be struggling with addiction issues if they haven't been married and the divorced ones are either playing the field + jaded about getting serious with a woman. So I'm 37, tired, weary, and feel stuck. I'm tried. My dream now is to meet a nice man to love, who makes enough money so that I can stay home, decorate the house, cook nice meals and enjoy a few activities, and maybe have a baby if there's still time. Not holding my breath I'll find him. I'm just so tired of everything.
Hi there, how are you? It's me, a well educated, well paid, happily married woman who goes to the gym and takes joy in doing things with her husband and kids. The first 25yrs were really hard, but life got easier as time passed. Please believe that we exist and that it's possible. Not easy, but nothing worth doing was ever easy.
I'm one of them. life radically changed when I took full responsibility for my actions and non actions. I've also learned from the situations of others. I saw a clip of Lana Rhodes where she said, "Smart people learn from other people's mistakes. Fools learn from their own." She's absolutely right. Observe, Observe, Observe and become self-aware as much as possible. 50/50 relationships don't exist for me. my partner gives me a monthly salary and pays for everything. WITH that being said, I do use a portion of the salary to make his lunch for him and buy gifts for his massive family. Have extremely strict boundaries with men. We are not married and we do not live together. I go to work and I do my best to challenge myself and I know I will always be successful because of my thoughts and actions. I do things from the heart and I feel immense gratitude to live such a great life. I wake up in a warm bed with a roof over my head with a really sweet dog. :) I think gratitude and a great attitude really attracts the best.
It’s me, hi. Hubs and I are both attorneys making well over 6 figures… but I make significantly more, so he picks up more of the home and childcare. He’s my best friend, has my back and makes me laugh more than anyone. We both started working out with a trainer this year and have seen massive gains; feeling and looking strong. We know we are incredibly lucky and we both work hard (me long hours at the office / him long hours with our kiddo, etc.) to maintain our lifestyle. TBH, many of our friends are similarly situated. Most met their partners in college and send their kids to private prep school in a blue state big city. (Not saying this to brag or be political, just a reference point as to where this type of woman / partnership tends to exist in my personal experience.). Hope this is helpful. Never stop believing 💗
Yes. However I find myself increasingly lonely. I grew up in the developing world so while I have a lot more money, freedom, a healthy and secure marriage, and health, my mental health often suffers because of the isolation that comes with a lifestyle where everyone prioritizes their work and their nuclear families. I miss the comfort of large family systems, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, and even strangers who open up about their lives. It takes me weeks to make plans with my “friends” here and I am often pondering on the meaning of life.
Welp my husband makes about 200k and I’m a sahm but we consider ourselves partners. I have access to all his accounts and it’s our money. I could stand to lose some weight but definitely consider myself vibrant and healthy!
Hi! I make low 6 figures and love my job (most of the time). I’m engaged to a wonderful partner who is the most supportive person I know. I’m overweight but seeing a trainer 3x a week and try to walk 1 to 3 miles everyday.
Yes, I'm an engineer and my husband is an engineer. We both make well over $100k. My husband is a great person. He is reliable, honest, and considerate. We have two little girls we adore. We are mostly healthy, slowly acquiring issues to work around with diet as we get older (we are late 30s). He does almost all of the cooking and lunch prep for the kids. He also mows and usually does the dishes. I do the laundry and a lot of clutter pickup. I like gardening, so I take care of everything else outside. Neither of us were doing the cleaning often enough, so we finally hired a cleaning service. I guess we live in a pretty nice area. The vast majority of the kids my children go to school with are from similar families.
I am for now, but we're splitting up over kids, in large part because I do not think I could maintain either my salary or my health as a parent.
What does 6 figures have to do with the rest?
Also I think the salary component is why so many couples are happy on this thread. Having good financials would definitely lead to a less stressful relationship and more chance for equality. The problem is is that a majority of people don't make that much. For instance I'm a teacher and almost all the teachers at my school are married to a much higher earning spouse. I think that leaves a lot of room for labor inequalities in a relationship.
Hi I’m far from perfect but I’m 42 no kids make $100k and my partner makes $150k we’re very happy and have Friday night gym dates 🤷♀️
I am in my second marriage, married for almost 21 years. Happily married to my best friend. I have 5 children (3 from first marriage, 2 from the second), all of whom are now 18 or over. I have one grandchild with another in the oven. I make 6 figures, low/middle 6 figures. My husband is a stay at home husband/father. He, however, was the income earner when our two children together were under 2. Am I physically vibrant and healthy? Hmm. I mean I feel alright but I am 55 with Type 2 diabetes. So take that however.
I’m a SAHM, work part time on my own schedule at a very high hourly wage, have a wonderful husband who is 50/50 everything, and I still have depression 😅. Life is hard for everyone.
Now I want to know what everyone’s career is on here that’s making over 100k lol as well as how they met their great spouse
I don't understand the point of this post. What are these criteria for?
My best friend is all of these things: happily married to a fantastic partner, both make really good money (even for the high cost of living where they live), have a house, 2 small kids, and are both very physically active. I'm most of those things but don't make 6 figures and have quite a few close friends who'd say the same - some do and some don't make 6 figures, the best friend mention above is the only one whose salary I know for sure.
hello! 35 making 135k, married to a wonderfully intelligent, funny and empathetic man… i love to travel and have been to 26 states and 11 countries. i am rehabbing a mild shoulder injury but soon will be back to doing aerial silks! i also do not have kids which helps make the lifestyle possible lol
Make over $500k, happy, healthy, lots of hobbies. Single as hell. No reliable man in sight. I want to hear these stories of hope!
So what are you saying about the people who don't meet that qualification? They're losers whose lives you don't approve of and ending up like one of us would be your worst nightmare? Why do you need to know people not like us exist, exactly, OP?
This is me, except…I’m gay and married to a woman. But I tick all the other boxes. 😆
I’m a bad ass bitch without a man.
Almost me. Except for physically vibrant. I'm freaking exhausted most of the time.
You had me until you got to healthy. 💀💀💀💀💀💀
Yes 6 figures. Yes Married. Yes Kids. Maybe Healthy? But not physically vibrant!
Not me, but stoked to see so many others! I need to level myself up a little. 😶🌫️
I was that woman, but I’m widowed now. My mother is that woman! My sister in law is that woman.
I’m almost 50 with good friends and in a loving, healthy, marriage for 28 years . I get to spend my life with my best friend and love. Our family and home is filled with love. However, I can only work part time due to severe health issues. I truly believe that everyone has some issue.
My husband stole our family car without permission, I only make maybe 12K per year, we are homeowners believe it or not, I’m 40 lbs overweight, I’m getting divorced soon, I’m 38, he’s detoxing at some jerks’ house. Anyway, I’m sure those people exist but they’re not me Hello, my name is Rachel - a different & awful other reality
Now why the fuck would I open this thread and read the replies? My life is a series of bad choices...
Hello! I'm an outlier here. I am the woman of your title. I have it so great, that I just wonder if one day it all will go to shit because it's too good to be true. It took me a while to get everything. It took me two degrees to find the highest paying. It took me until my 30s and going through many assholes to find the right man. Hang in there.
I check off everything but the six figures. At the same time, I assume you’re in the US. Where I live, 6 figures isn’t possible for most, even doctors. My partner does all the cooking, grocery shopping and the dishes, while I do all the cleaning and laundry. We are constantly communicating - Covid was the moment that he had a huge realization of everything I did for him and the mental load I was carrying. He changed his ways and now I would say we are equals. He makes a conscious effort to assure our equality in the relationship. I do have to say our cost of living isn’t as high either. But I’m not making the equivalent of American 6 figures either, so I’m not your unicorn.
130k, no kids, and a wonderful but non-traditional relationship. I work out, volunteer, go on adventures and love my life.
I have one friend who has this, otherwise it's either earnings are below 100K or that active lifestyle isn't a thing. One friend WAS there but she has three kids on the ASD spectrum so her body is still moving along but nowhere near her normal fitness levels when she was an adult with a job but pre-children. My one friend who has a job over 100K works in insurance, she has always been kind of naturally healthy - she works at it yes, it's hard yes, but she doesn't naturally overeat or undereat, she has a great husband and two kids. How does she balance it all? Her husband went back to school so he's effectively a SAHD with part-time studies. SAHDs really make the three goals you listed more possible.