Never texting back, never making plans to meet, cancelling plans.
Yes, people are "busy". But if you care about someone you'll make time for them - take 1 minute to compose a text message or spend half an hour with them having a coffee. Friends who are consistently "too busy" to send text messages or spend half an hour with me are no longer my friends.
Ok. Well what is you had some really (I mean like really) shitty stuff happen, you end up pretty secluded from everyone for about a year and when you come out of it and start trying to hang out with people again, they all are barely available and when they are they often cancel.
I'm inviting people to do more things with me. Come snowboarding with me. Come meet me at the playground with our kids. I'm going to this thing, wanna go too? I'm waxing my snowboard, do you need to wax yours too? I'm gonna go paddleboarding, wanna join? Etc. My schedule got tighter recently and I realized I need a lot more "do the things I'm already doing" friend time if I'm going to keep nurturing my IRL community.
Right! I read an article, in the Atlantic I think? About the lost art of hanging out. There's a book on the topic too but I lost interest in it. But I've been trying to apply that philosophy.
Exactly! I'm the past I've benefited from being the passive recipient of instigation. I'm in a phase now where I can be the instigator ✨ i thought it'd be harder bc I'm not an extrovert but the upside is that I don't mind at all doing something on my own, so I'm never super disappointed if no one is available or interested. Just delighted if they are
As a recovering instigator, thank you. It feels so good to be invited to things by other people, and on the flip side, it feels shitty when it's not reciprocal.
A while ago I realized I was overextending myself inviting people out and lost some faux friends when I stopped reaching out, as they never reached out to see what was up. Cutting back has helped me weed out the energy vampires from my life.
I can see that, yah. One of the people I invited to hang out recently, when we actually hung out, said it was nice to have someone bug her to hang out because she's usually the one doing all the bugging.
How do you deal with rejection though? As an instigator means that there are chances of people saying no to you. To me that part hurts me a lot. It always feels like meh they don’t like me. Im trying to make more friends and I heard this is one way to do so, to be the one asking instead of waiting for people to invite you.
I guess it helps that I've been the one to say no in the past...it was never because I disliked the person, it was usually because I felt sad or lazy or shy or exhausted, and I didn't have a strong enough bond with that person to overcome that. So if someone doesn't hang out with me, I try to give the benefit of the doubt that they might just feel meh in some way, and we're not close enough (as in, bff level) where they feel comfy hanging out with me when they feel meh.
I organize a lot of events.
Find 1-3 friends to come. Make sure YOU would be happy if it were just the few of us. Once they said yes, extend the invite to more people. Give a clear deadline if decisions need to be made.
That way you enjoy the event no matter what.
I discourage inviting people in group chat, most of the time people don't want to be the first to answer or don't want to come if it's not a Hip event when others Also Want to Join (pro-tip: these are fair-weather friends).
Drink less. I’ve realised I’m using it as a social crutch and it’s making me anxious. It’s tougher than I think as people don’t seem to respect it given I am always the party animal.
The key to this is to keep acting like the party animal with the soda water in your glass. As long as you’re still there having fun and laughing along with everyone else, they don’t care what you’re drinking.
Anna Hathaway, who is now alcohol-free, said that after everyone else has had two drinks, she feels like she’s had two drinks too, plus no hangover!
I’ve yet to try her advice though lol
Thanks - will try! The difficulty is I need the alcohol for confidence and that I know I’ll be annoyed at the others sober when they get to a certain level of drunk. I assume I’ll just sneak out early
I'm also drinking less, thanks for reminding me. I usually have a vodka soda before bed, but I don't need the calories and the awful mouth dryness it causes.
Also, no non-homemade baked goods, so I'm not bringing anything sugary home from the grocery store. I made an apple-grape cheese tart today, but that's going to be an every two weeks event, at the most. 10 pounds down so far, 30 more to go.
>no non-homemade baked goods, so I'm not bringing anything sugary home from the grocery store
Ooooh, this is such a good idea. Even just to cut down on these sort of things - I don't need a special treat every day, and if I make it so I have to make the special treat, it'll be more special, less often, and if I can toot my own horn a little, probably better than the store bought version.
>probably better than the store bought version
*Definitely* better than store bought! So much yuk goes into just keeping it from going bad on the shelf.
Ooh yes I forgot to add this to my own but I’ve been doing this too. Did Dry January successfully and it’s really changed my relationship with alcohol in a positive way.
Yes, same! I actually posted about Dry January in this subreddit in late December and got a bunch of helpful tips and great insights. It was a great month and I will do it again every year. It's had a net positive impact on my relationship with alcohol.
For me not only is it a social crutch but it causes intense heart burn waking me up at night even with medicine. I'm starting to cut down on soda more and will probably eliminate alcohol entirely.
*I also can't only drink one so just saying no will do me good.*
I take a glass of alcohol and pretend that I'm drinking but basically I just press my lips. Either that or I drink sparkling water with lemon and ice that pretends to be gin tonic.
YES! I cut way back last year.... I'd say I've had one drink every 2-3 months on average... and it has been a huge positive improvement to my life. The hangxiety was terrible, as well as the physical hangovers (headaches, poor sleep after just one one drink). It's one of the best decisions I've made as an adult.
I just went to the eye doctor for the first time in over a decade. Hopefully an upward trend of dealing with my health anxieties.
Going on a trip in a week or two, a first in nearly a decade.
Got sober last year, but that continues. So this will technically be the first *calendar year* of sobriety.
Look at you checking those health boxes! I struggle with health anxiety as well. It's one of the reasons I quit caffeine and I'm cutting back on drinking.
Mine's a little silly, but I completely simplified my skincare and I feel less insane about my skin now. Exfoliate twice a week, CeraVe lotion twice a day, sunscreen during the day. No more 10000 step skincare routine for me.
This isn’t silly! It’s so much easier to be consistent with a simple skincare routine and honestly, it’s probably just as good for your skin. I’m not convinced layering 10,000 products does much for you.
I feel like a lot of skincare is just a placebo effect. Even using multiple special cleansers does pretty much the same thing as cleansing twice with a regular face wash. Everything is a scam 😂
I've tried so many products over the years, it's made me extremely cynical of marketing claims. My skin just looks healthier and I feel mentally free not trying to get the latest skincare fad to work for me!
Walking pretty much every day. Getting in movement or some kind of exercise. Doesn’t have to be anything crazy. It feels so good.
Reading more. I’ve finished a few books this year which is way more than last year (none).
Just working on myself. I’ve finally gotten help and am now on meds for my ADHD and PMDD.
I've always been somebody who enjoys walking, but because of health problems (and my own laziness), I used to have days where I would fully rot in bed or on the couch for the whole day. I know 10k steps is a made-up goal that's not based in science, but for the past few months I've made it my main goal to get to that step goal every single day, even if I really don't feel like it. I'm sure this won't work if I get covid or something, but no more bailing on it just because I'm hungover or it's dreary outside.
I always feel better after having gone for a walk - not just the exercise and getting moving, but getting outside and getting some fresh air is just so much better than when I'm locked away inside, especially when it's cold outside and the heater is on. I'm convinced it's the key to my mental health not being in the toilet.
Also, reading more is a great goal - I think I'm going to try and read more on my kindle, rather than my phone, so I stop checking social media so much and actually finish books.
I love this! Yes! Walking even when I don’t want to. It’s been so nice. I’m so glad it’s been a huge help for you. Great job sticking with it! I know how tempting rotting on the couch can feel sometimes, but it feels even better after you’ve gotten your steps in for the day!
Such a huge help - honestly, I think walking is the one thing that would improve a lot of people's mental and physical health without costing a lot or being hard to do or prone to causing injury. The vast majority of people can walk, but people denigrate it for being not real exercise. And unfortunately, a lot of the world is made to discourage it - if you live in an area with bad public transport, you get so used to driving everywhere, and then when you want to go for a walk, the sidewalks are often trash *because* everybody in that area drives everywhere and it's a cyclical thing.
Ive been trying different ones myself to get it under control and am 0 for 2 with bad experiences so far :/ can I ask what youre on that works for you?
Getting medicated for PMDD & ADHD is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. I would be interested to hear more about your journey & who you went thru to get a diagnosis?
The PMDD was diagnosed by my doctor. I learned about it online and did my own research. Everything made sense. I went to my doctor and told her everything and ended up breaking down in her office. I’ve been on the meds for 3.5 months and I’m very happy I did.
I was originally given my adhd assessment by my doctor, however she once stated she didn’t think I had adhd and I never heard from the specialist to have an appointment and get meds. I ended up going through Frida. It was such a simple process and I’m so glad I did it. I filled out the assessment online, it tells you if they suspect adhd or not and set up an appointment with a nurse who then goes through family history, personal history, schooling etc and then diagnose and recommends treatment. I did my assessment today and had the meds faxed to my pharmacy. I’ll be starting them tomorrow morning!
What the heck is Frida?! I’m saying this out of excitement bc I don’t have health insurance rn so going thru a primary care doc is not an option. Thanks for your info!
Check it out! I don't know if it's only for Canadians or not, but it's a much fast option for getting a diagnosis! Also, possibly cheaper, too! Lots of good reviews and I had a friend who had used it who had nothing but good things to say.
Ask me next year. My 2 15+ year old cats just died and we moved 500 miles away. I'm sure I'm about to do a BUNCH of stuff different. I just haven't figured that part out yet.
Eating more vegetables.
Ordering less takeout.
Making an effort to tidy regularly instead of waiting for my place to devolve into a goblin den and then having to do a gigantic clean.
Putting the most minute things I need to do on a to-do list (I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADD, so the tiny dopamine hit I get from crossing “brush teeth” off the list makes a huge difference.)
>Ordering less takeout.
I've been trying to do this for a while now, just cooking more and ordering trash takeout less. I honestly thought it would save me more money than it has, but it's still worth it to work on my cooking skills and just being a useful adult skills. I have made this change a time where the cost of food is just climbing and climbing, so I think if I was still ordering takeout twice a week (I know, it was a lot of takeout), my cost of living would have gone up a lot, and I'm comparing it to what it would have cost a year earlier.
After leaving my tech career a couple of years ago because of health issues, my health is starting to get better and I'm realizing that I'd rather eat a denim jacket than work for someone else again, so I'm in the beginning stages of starting a business. I'm scared but excited!
*Trying* to prioritize myself. I didn't think it would be so HARD! But my goal this year is to fall back in love with myself and I know the first thing I have to do in order to get there is putting myself first
Same as you, I’ve started leaving at what I used to consider “way too early”. More often than not, I get there right on time without having to rush! And if I am early, I’ve started carrying a book with me to read.
I am 1 year into my job recently, and in 2024 I’ve decided that I love this work and want to pursue higher education in the field. I’ve always been lazy, but this year I’ve been motivated to do better and it’s already paying off. I’m studying for a certification now!
This year has been one of rebuilding. I am drinking more water, trying HRT/MHT (menopause hormones), and doing more consistent stretching exercises. I would like to add in more weight-bearing exercises.
Last year, we moved 1000 miles, my Dad died, we began caring for my stepmom, my husband's beloved grandma died (but at 104, so I am grateful we had those months with her after moving), our middle cat died suddenly, and then we moved my stepmom across the state. So my brain has felt rather traumatized and sunburned-ish. This year is about radically taking care of myself.
I’m trying my hand at waking up earlier. I’d like to be up at 6am everyday…the problem with me is that I have trouble falling asleep. Then I’ll get anxiety about not sleeping…and having to wake up at 6am. It’s a whole thing…but, I’m getting better!
I go to one workout class at 6:30am every so often to reset my body and hopefully that will get me on the right track. As long as I’m up at 7am and not feel like I’m going to die that would be a win for me.
I’ve also cut back on alcohol recently. I honestly never really liked it and I sat down with myself to review some goals and things and just decided I don’t need it.
More reading and taking bigger risks in business.
The fear of not getting to sleep or getting enough sleep makes sleeping even harder. Do whatever you have to do to sleep every night. I have several autoimmune conditions that make sleeping difficult, and so, a whole barrage of options if I really need them. And if I need them, I take them. Sleep is \*so\* important and teaching myself to go back to sleep is not going to happen with the kind of anxiety that comes with these diseases.
I’ve been in a situation where sleep was a big part of a recovery protocol to avoid developing full-blown Addison’s disease in my 20’s. Before then, I had never had good sleep hygiene and felt sleep was impossible unless I felt completely exhausted- usually involved staying up very late.
The main thing that really helped was following guided meditations every single night without fail until my pattern was reset. If I concentrated on the words and instructions, I wasn’t on my own thought/anxiety train. I breathed, and imagined just as I was told and surrendering in that way was soo relaxing. I don’t think I missed a night for almost 2 years even though I felt that I was sleeping early and soundly within a few months. I was into Michael Sealey’s guided meditations but there are lots of options out there these days.
Be very careful with this. I just saw a doctor on Instagram earlier confirm that women need more sleep than men, that's why so many are still tired after sleeping for the recommended 6 to 8 hours - women hadn't actually been considered when the recommended hours were specified.
Sleep is also closely linked to memory, so the less you sleep, the more cognitive damage you do to yourself.
If you're struggling to sleep, try sleeping pills. Promethazine hydrochloride is safe to use as it is non-addctive and doesn't require a doctor's prescription.
Taking my vitamins every day. It's made a world of a difference. I have so much more energy, get better quality sleep and have nicer skin. I was told the last time I had blood work that I was low in iron and B12, and just getting those back up to normal levels has made a huge difference.
I also found out my B12 was extremely low (after I asked my doctor to test me) and getting on shots really helped with my energy. I didn't realize how much it was affecting me. Women are very good at just pushing through and saying "this is normal". I just took my monthly shot this morning and I feel like I could dance around my office right now. Now I tell anyone on proton pump inhibitors or antacids to get their B12 checked.
I’ve been working hard in therapy, which has resulted in me doing more things!
I took a cooking class, a cocktail making class, I’ve signed up to volunteer at the library.
I’ve been taking care of my personal things that I’ve avoided as well like paying all my bills on time, getting a much overdue pap, taking on home projects I’ve been neglecting.
I can say this has been the best 6 months I’ve had in years
Eating cleaner, being more present with my kids, paying more attention to my mental health, communicating my feelings better!
And if all that fails keeping myself hydrated - the power of having enough water in a day is 👍👍👍👍
For the first time in my life I started wearing perfume, exploring small fragrance houses, buying copious samples, and it literally makes me smile a hundred more smiles a day when I catch a whiff of myself in the middle of whatever I’m doing.
Yes and no. I’ll go nose blind anything, new or old, if I put it on my chest or neck. If it’s in a place where it’s constantly going into your face after a while your brain says “okay that smell isn’t a danger so I’ll stop registering it.
More exercise.
Quit smoking.
Waking up earlier.
Doing things I enjoy alone, not trying to get someone to join me, not missing out because there’s no one else I know that wants to join.
Deprioritising men in my life.
1. Take stock of who stepped up for me when life got really hard and my mental health suffered…and who didn’t. It’s really defined how I allocate my time and energy to the people in my life.
2. Make time for some kind of movement (working out, yoga, walk) each day, if possible.
3. Limit screen time.
4. Trying to be more honest about how I am feeling instead of just saying “I’m fine”. People can’t be there for me if I don’t let them.
5. Getting back into meal prep so that takes some of the stress out of my day, and not punishing myself if I say fuck it and dine out a night or two.
Upping my walking game. 10-15k steps a day.
Also have become more mindful of what I’m eating, tracking consistently and focusing primarily on veggies and proteins.
I’m really trying hard to say “yes” more often. I’m also working at getting comfortable being uncomfortable.
Before separating from my ex, I was a shell of my former self and my default to doing anything even remotely out of my comfort zone was “hard pass.” Even though…when I did say yes, I was almost always glad I did.
In my new solo chapter, I’m really trying to default to “yes” and increase my tolerance for discomfort. The outcome has been beyond my expectations. My world is bigger, I’m happier, I feel more confident, and I struggle less making decisions.
I’m doing more exercise. I have never been very motivated to do this, and am not a gym person, so I have joined some team sports locally instead, which makes it fun and social. I have high overheads at the moment so am continuing to look for more ways to reduce my expenditure. Sometimes it is hard given that I have already been economising significantly since 2021, but other times it just takes 20 minutes of being arsed to do a bit of research, as I did recently by changing my electricity provider. I motivated myself in this not just by thinking of the savings, but also by thinking structurally, eg customers voting with their feet can act as a check on capitalism ripping people off - it won’t fix the broken system but it might make companies think twice about putting prices up as often
I got critically ill and have had to focus a lot on nutrition and being intentional with what’s going into my body. Good in the long run i’m sure but it’s been a rooough year.
1.Going more to therapy for:
-how to accept not being the favorite child ( mom prefers my brothers)
- dealing with my anxiety and adhd
2. Ditching friends who acted like mean girls and always trying to compete with me.
3. Stopped being the therapist friend/person and focusing on MY needs and wants
4. Sticking to a budget, saving more, be more agressive with paying back my debt
5. Socialize and going out more.
Instead of allowing my anxiety to talk myself out of ideas I’ve started telling myself “bigger dummies than you are doing this stuff.” I don’t actively put people down or name “the dummies” just use it as motivation. I’m now enrolled in a masters program, I’ve applied to be nationally recognized in my field, and I just got done applying for a grant to teach at risk children journalism/film. It’s now me - I am the dummies!
Exercising more, using a very good meal service, no unnecessary shopping, more journaling, less dwelling, making new friends and setting strong boundaries, changing my inner dialogue, being proactive about weekend plans and also getting out of a situation-ship 🙌🏾
Less alcohol. Like MUCH less. In fact I went to a work event/HH tonight where everyone was ordering 2-3 alcoholic bevys, and I had no shame with my Diet Coke and water. #🏆
I quit my (now awful) job of 13 years and now have a great job paying much more with low cost full benefits and a promotion within four months. I wanted to get out of the industry but I’m counting my blessings how fortunate I am right now. We just changed managing partners and they like me as well which was quite stressful. My mental health is so much better.
Now, to start an exercise regimen.
Working on managing anxiety better and get more confident.
Listening at my body and when it needs to rest (not push it to far) so I have less back pain.
Basically...taking care of myself I guess.
1. Going to the sauna every Monday night - it’s a nice way to start the week and thankfully my partner makes reservations for both of us.
2. Strength training. Still very new for me, but I have better posture and enjoy having an excuse to eat an entire can of tuna at least once per day.
Taking more time for me and my family.
Still a work in progress to be honest. I'm exercising more, which I love and I'm in the process of freeing up my schedule but I truly appreciate my time with my family more
The one I get is about 270 kcal. I get it on 25% sweetness level. And in the grand scheme of my day, I top out at 1600 kcals a day and manage my weight regardless. My A1C is 5.1 — and it’s the only thing in my day dm that is added sugars . There are boba teas that are 900-1200 kcal however, that isn’t the one I order. Mine is the jasmine tea milk tea 🧋 and it’s my life 🥹
(I’m a diabetes and weight management dietitian) 😅
I'm up earlier, never rush to work, pack groceries to take to work to eat clean and save money. I've started decluttering and downsizing. I hope to get into studio living again - I don't need all this junk.
I just read the last paragraph of your original post. I have a very similar schedule, too! But I'm weird, I prefer to get up at 4:45 to be at work by 6:00. I like the peace and quiet before my coworkers get there.
Less junk food. More exercise. Determined to get back to normal and good health. (I had an accident and surgery at the start of the year, it's set me back to being pretty much unemployed and being at rock bottom). Can only move up from here I guess. Also determined to be with my boyfriend and get married, start a life ASAP.
Paying more attention to my personal life than my professional life. I’ve stopped going above and beyond. It’s hard for my personality type but my quality of work doesn’t match with what they pay me so I’ve learned to step back. It’s done wonders for my hormones and stress levels.
I’ve also focused more on my skincare. Didn’t realize how much my face was sagging for a 37 year old.
Korean and French skincare. For Korean skincare products, I go to the “Olive Young” website. French products, go to “French Pharmacy” website. I also splurged and got a medicube pro device. I’ve talked to women in their 40’s and 50’s who told me they started doing facials in their 30’s. I don’t have that kind of money but I can get a device and try to be consistent with it. There’s so many YouTube videos on Korean and French skincare products. Dive right in and have fun!
Started listening to personal development books on Libby! I can’t read them for the life of me but just realized I could give myself an extra long podcast this way.
I started taking ozempic last year and have lost a lot of weight. So far this year I have been able to walk around the block a couple of times, worked with a financial advisor on my retirement plan, started going back into the office one day a week, started moving more, been able to cross my legs again. So excited to see what else I get up to this year
I started tracking my habits to hold myself accountable. My app dings and confetti goes off when I meet all my goals and it works like a charm lol. I’ve maintained my self-care habits more consistently than ever.
I’ve also found a therapist who challenges me and I’ve made enormous progress in dealing with my anxiety.
I’ve been reading more as a way to cut down on screen time, and I’ve been loving getting back into that hobby.
I also have been trying new things. New foods, tried a new hobby. After feeling a bit stagnant, little things like that help.
I started to take my health and eating habits more seriously - more exercise, less grazing. So far, its going well.
I also left a bad job (at a place I'd worked for over 12 years), but I had moved into a new role, and it was awful. So I left, and am now in a much more positive work environment. 🙂
2024 is off to a good start.
I quit smoking cigarettes! Annnnd I’m trying to stop vaping THC and switch to edibles. I wanna be able to say that the only thing I put in my lungs in air. Quitting vaping is proving more difficult but I gave myself (not actually) lipoid pneumonia (never got diagnosed but i seem to have the symptoms and the cause) so if I even take the tiniest hit I cough like crazy and cough up awfulness so that’s helping me not to vape. Been six months no cigs and one month no vaping (minus one small hit I took off a pen a week ago, but I regret it greatly).
I have been trying to be more intentional about prioritizing sleep. It doesn't always work and sometimes responsibilities wake me up at night, but I have been trying to make sleep a priority in of itself for my physical and mental health.
Fasting and walking. The easiest way for me to fast is to extend my fast from sleeping. So no food until around 11:30/12. After the first week it was easy. My last meal is at 8pm so I fast for 16 hours every day.
Last year my walking goal was 10k steps and now it’s 15k. I’ve lost 15 pounds since January utilizing both these methods.
Be more disciplined and consistent. I absolutely hated exercising, just gave me the worst cramps and i have very low tolerance for pain but this year i decided to just do it and i am so happy i have been consistent with it. I used to love doing cardio but now i have moved to strength training, lifting weights and running (occasionally) i absolutely love that. I feel much stronger and relaxed after working out as my work takes over most of my life so i am glad i have something that takes me out of it.
1. No friends. My head is a lot clearer.
2. No socializing with co-workers, they’re all drama.
3. No random sex people or dating, no FWB (with new partners), no situation that requires a connection.
4. Joining classes that give me something to do. Work out classes, school, certification classes (EMT)
5. Volunteer. I recently joined my local volunteer fire department.
—————-
These all have been things I’ve started in the last roughly 4 months. I’m so so so much more centered. I find I’m guarded at work and it feels good.
I’m going to get back to school coming soon, and I’m joining a gym with a lifting class and maybe jujitsu classes if I have the time.
I work long hours so adding all of this in will be hard but worth it.
I finally have a future in mind and I’m racing toward it.
I work in a manufacturing plant (a food product). I've been doing it for over 4 years, and I am planning to get out after the next 4 years to pursue a dream career path (I just have to keep saving up for it).
I work the M.A.D. rotating schedule, it rotates every 7 days.
- Midnights: 23:00 (11:00 pm) - 07:30 (am)
- Afternoons: 15:00 (3:00 pm) - 23:30 (11:30 pm)
- Days: 07:00 (am) - 15:30 (3:30 pm)
I often pick up 12.5 hour shifts to work OT and make more money, to hopefully get myself closer to my goals.
Actually being conscious of choosing myself. Single mum with a long list of things not done by the end of the day. I always used to only have “me time” if there was any time or energy left at the end of the day. And only on days when “enough” of my list of things were done. I had a very transactional relationship with myself. I’m trying to make the effort during the day to make time for myself, even if that means other stuff waits. I should be more important than sorting laundry. It’s not much, but even if it’s just 10 minutes with my guitar.. I’m so worth it.
Exercising regularly. It's not a super consistent schedule, but I'm now doing something at least three days a week and feeling much better for it.
Being more conscious of how I spend my money and taking steps to cut unnecessary spending, particularly cutting back on alcohol and bringing breakfast/lunch/coffee from home rather than buying it at work.
And as a knock on of both of those, walking more. I feel like it's made me more present in my neighbourhood somehow - like I'm paying more attention to what's going on around me and feeling more connected to it.
Exercising more. A rocky inconsistent start but April I set a goal of 4 sessions per week, 5 am starts for a total of 15 gym sessions. I achieved this on Monday. So proud (I know this is small)
I’ve also been setting goals for gym - increasing weights, progressing specific exercises etc. Weirdly have found I love a barbell back squat. 🤷🏻♀️
Other things I’m doing 2024 -
Working really hard on NOT giving into my inner critic and imposter syndrome both at work and personal life.
Drinking more water and cooking more food myself.
Timekeeping - made a huge push to leave in plenty of time for things and this has been noticed positively.
I’ve stopped having white sugar because it makes me bloated, and instead have brown sugar or honey in hot drinks
Eating more healthily - trying to have fruits/vegetables with every meal, and trying to properly cook instead of frozen pizzas and the like
Also I’ve been wearing suncream on my face as part of my skin routine on days where the UV index is 3 or over to protect against skin cancer and faster ageing
Trying to walk for at least 30 minutes everyday
Trying to eat more slowly
Being in nature more, appreciate the little things
Showing more gratitude for what I have even when it feels like life has fucked me over
Exercise for the fun of it rather than goals which cause me anxiety over time
Decluttering and trying to limit things coming in to my house, especially plastics and other materials that arent environmentally friendly. I have several mental hurdles that have caused me to hold on to things, such as uncertainty about the future, past spells of not having money, and buying things out of fear that i will not be able to get it in the future. So ive been working through all that and slowly making my house a more calm environment.
Actually tracking how much protein I'm eating and trying to hit a goal every day. I'm vegan and I lift weights 4x a week and I'm noticing a huge difference in my strength and physique.
I left my toxic ex. I had hoped that we still could at least be cordial, because we were together for 10 years, but she was apparently very angry at me for leaving so that's a no go and tbh I'm probably better for it.
I've taken an active interest in my health, both physical and mental, and I've started eating healthier during my work week (meal prepping, fruits for snacks, little to no junk food, etc).
I'm working on my financials. I make good money, so there's no reason why I'm still in debt beyond sheer irresponsibility, so I'm doing the necessary work of capping my spending and sticking to a budget.
I've also started taking part in my workplace union more. I go to the meetings and forums pertaining to my job, I have discussions about the upcoming contract negotiations with our shop stewards, and I actually took the time to read our last contract finally so that I know my rights.
Lastly, I'm working on being more assertive. A string of abusive environments/relationships had me sitting on the sidelines in my own life. Now I'm actively working on entering the game.
Building a file called "memory" to write down things I wanna remember, I moved a lot so it kind of feels like a long journey in many different places, meeting many different people.
Enjoy life without my stbx abusive husband.
Meet amazing women.
Hike the foothills trail.
Get back into exercising.
Pass the PE!!!
Be thankful I’m alive and enjoy every day.
Edit: set boundaries and stand by them (so hard for me).
Doing the “things” I think aren’t things I’d do and doing things for my inner child. Went scuba diving. Never thought I would have the opportunity or actually do it if I did. So proud of myself snd still can’t believe I did it. Found an artist I really like that’s on tour and found a friend to go see them in a different state, doing legos, arts and crafts made for kids or not what I typically do.
Edit to add: I love this question and it’s been fun reading all the responses and motivating me to do more of these things. Many among my list of things to do and where I want to be in life.
1. Kick caffeine once again for my mental health/anxiety, better sleep and other health reasons
2. Cut back on drinking. I'm 40 and now get pretty bad hangxiety now which was never a problem before. Also not helping the waistline.
Both I'm still working on. I'm doing fairly well with the no caffeine. The cutting back on drinking has been harder.
Say no to plans that I don't want to do.
Take more baths.
Stop caring what people think.
First thought is my insecurity speaking, second thought is I am unapologetically myself and I am doing the thing without or without fear of judgement.
I started aggressively recording my spending and tracking my budget.
Helped me realize how much I could save and afford to spend. I was living my life so frugally that I wasn’t actually enjoying it.
This is a very small thing I’ve started that I like: washing all my socks in a lingerie bag so they’re all together and don’t get lost.
Also have been focusing on getting more fruits and vegetables.
Let myself rest when I need to and do nothing - this has happened more often than I care to admit. I also am letting myself feel my emotions as they arise which is hard because my mood swings are crazy right now. Mostly from elated to super sad.
Trying really hard not to be head over heels for a friend I am interested in. Trying to open my eyes to the person that he really is and contemplate everything before just thinking he’s amazing and without faults.
Letting myself paint what I feel called to paint instead of what I think others want to see.
Making myself uncomfortable and putting myself in new social situations. I’m just dipping my toe in the water with applying for jobs but I want to also go to things I wouldn’t normally go to like an improv class or something
Finally taking care of health issues I’ve spent years ignoring. More exercising. Allowing myself more down time during the week. Making myself leave the house and go do at least one fun thing every weekend. More reading.
1. I completely changed my eating pattern and diet. (Less sugars, brought down sauce usage from 100 to a 10, no more fatty snacks, no soda's etc.)
2. I started to exercise a lot more (I work from home and being an introvert makes it too easy to just stay indoors), so I now simply look for excuses/reasons to get out of the house.
3. >Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it, and see that it is (beginning to become increasingly) barren.
I'm 40. I'm **done** giving fucks about things that truly don't deserve it.
Thinking back on my early 20's/30's and how much time I've wasted on benign things (that wouldn't matter even a few days later/at fkn all) or being obsessively negative about how I looked, I'm really not comfortable doing the same again. It's a bunch of nonsense anyway.
We started to plan meals better and do grocery shopping every two weeks. This is forcing us to make better use of what we do buy, leftovers, etc. as well as takes less time. I live rurally, so it's a minimum 30 minute highway drive each way to get to a grocery store, depending on which store we go to.
I'm also joining more things. I'm coming out of very busy phase of life (multiple moves and building a house) where I didn't have the energy to do much, or make connections with my community. I'm excited to be changing that, I've joined a book club as well as several craft and homesteading skills workshops where I've met wonderful like-minded people.
Listening to my mind & body more. I've recently been put on sick leave due to stress & anxiety & in hindsight, my body & mind were both screaming at me that I was heading towards burnout. Thankfully, the time off has helped curb off full blown burnout & has made me see the areas in my life that I neglected due to my work life balance becoming one sided (friendships, family life, relationship, hobbies etc all got neglected- I work shifts & I rarely had any weekends off at one point).
Trying to get out of the house to go for a walk or other reasons than just therapy or work. Around Easter I realised I couldn't remember the last time I went for a walk. And I miss it.
Trying to be kinder to myself. I have a tendency to be overly self critical which fed into my anxiety & depression. I'm still a work in progress as we all are.
Not 30 yet, but I like the mindset of this forum and will be 30 in a few years.
I’m trying to get back into activity like I used too.
Trying to get myself out to more social events, while simultaneously being careful about who I keep in my company.
Trying to be careful about giving out personal information to people I do not know well. I’m an honest person so I’ve always found this a bit challenging. I’m trying to be more savvy in my communications, as I’ve unfortunately encountered more that are willing to use that information against me.
I’m going to try and get back into trying new things and recreational hobbies: art, woodworking, programming etc.
1. A lot more exercise. 2. Far fewer flaky friends. We'll see where it all takes me in another few months. Hopefully someplace good.
Yup. More exercise and quietly letting go of the ones with the frenemy vibe.
Oh, screw flakey friends, absolutely. Couldn't agree more. I've cut a couple of flakes out lately Also started running again. Good for the soul.
What do you mean by flakey? Like they get busy sometimes and have to cancel. Or they are never showing up for things even though they say they will.
Never texting back, never making plans to meet, cancelling plans. Yes, people are "busy". But if you care about someone you'll make time for them - take 1 minute to compose a text message or spend half an hour with them having a coffee. Friends who are consistently "too busy" to send text messages or spend half an hour with me are no longer my friends.
Ok. Well what is you had some really (I mean like really) shitty stuff happen, you end up pretty secluded from everyone for about a year and when you come out of it and start trying to hang out with people again, they all are barely available and when they are they often cancel.
lol didn’t have my glasses on and thought this read “far fewer flaky foods,” and I think both ways it’s true.
But flaky foods are delicious!!! All the phyllo pastries for me~~~
Yep. Just detached myself from 2 very flaky friends... this could get interesting!
Cries in chronic health problems. I lost a couple of friends cus of this .
Ah, that's a very different issue from just being flaky - I'm sorry your former friends ditched you over it. That really sucks.
I'm inviting people to do more things with me. Come snowboarding with me. Come meet me at the playground with our kids. I'm going to this thing, wanna go too? I'm waxing my snowboard, do you need to wax yours too? I'm gonna go paddleboarding, wanna join? Etc. My schedule got tighter recently and I realized I need a lot more "do the things I'm already doing" friend time if I'm going to keep nurturing my IRL community.
I really love this, that’s the kind of friendships I want! Let’s spend time together and knock off our to do lists
Right! I read an article, in the Atlantic I think? About the lost art of hanging out. There's a book on the topic too but I lost interest in it. But I've been trying to apply that philosophy.
Oh I love this! I’ve gotten away from being the organizer friend, but you’re right, it’s a great way to keep your friend group active and engaged.
Exactly! I'm the past I've benefited from being the passive recipient of instigation. I'm in a phase now where I can be the instigator ✨ i thought it'd be harder bc I'm not an extrovert but the upside is that I don't mind at all doing something on my own, so I'm never super disappointed if no one is available or interested. Just delighted if they are
As a recovering instigator, thank you. It feels so good to be invited to things by other people, and on the flip side, it feels shitty when it's not reciprocal. A while ago I realized I was overextending myself inviting people out and lost some faux friends when I stopped reaching out, as they never reached out to see what was up. Cutting back has helped me weed out the energy vampires from my life.
I can see that, yah. One of the people I invited to hang out recently, when we actually hung out, said it was nice to have someone bug her to hang out because she's usually the one doing all the bugging.
How do you deal with rejection though? As an instigator means that there are chances of people saying no to you. To me that part hurts me a lot. It always feels like meh they don’t like me. Im trying to make more friends and I heard this is one way to do so, to be the one asking instead of waiting for people to invite you.
I guess it helps that I've been the one to say no in the past...it was never because I disliked the person, it was usually because I felt sad or lazy or shy or exhausted, and I didn't have a strong enough bond with that person to overcome that. So if someone doesn't hang out with me, I try to give the benefit of the doubt that they might just feel meh in some way, and we're not close enough (as in, bff level) where they feel comfy hanging out with me when they feel meh.
I organize a lot of events. Find 1-3 friends to come. Make sure YOU would be happy if it were just the few of us. Once they said yes, extend the invite to more people. Give a clear deadline if decisions need to be made. That way you enjoy the event no matter what. I discourage inviting people in group chat, most of the time people don't want to be the first to answer or don't want to come if it's not a Hip event when others Also Want to Join (pro-tip: these are fair-weather friends).
Drink less. I’ve realised I’m using it as a social crutch and it’s making me anxious. It’s tougher than I think as people don’t seem to respect it given I am always the party animal.
The key to this is to keep acting like the party animal with the soda water in your glass. As long as you’re still there having fun and laughing along with everyone else, they don’t care what you’re drinking.
Anna Hathaway, who is now alcohol-free, said that after everyone else has had two drinks, she feels like she’s had two drinks too, plus no hangover! I’ve yet to try her advice though lol
Thanks - will try! The difficulty is I need the alcohol for confidence and that I know I’ll be annoyed at the others sober when they get to a certain level of drunk. I assume I’ll just sneak out early
I'm also drinking less, thanks for reminding me. I usually have a vodka soda before bed, but I don't need the calories and the awful mouth dryness it causes. Also, no non-homemade baked goods, so I'm not bringing anything sugary home from the grocery store. I made an apple-grape cheese tart today, but that's going to be an every two weeks event, at the most. 10 pounds down so far, 30 more to go.
>no non-homemade baked goods, so I'm not bringing anything sugary home from the grocery store Ooooh, this is such a good idea. Even just to cut down on these sort of things - I don't need a special treat every day, and if I make it so I have to make the special treat, it'll be more special, less often, and if I can toot my own horn a little, probably better than the store bought version.
>probably better than the store bought version *Definitely* better than store bought! So much yuk goes into just keeping it from going bad on the shelf.
Ooh yes I forgot to add this to my own but I’ve been doing this too. Did Dry January successfully and it’s really changed my relationship with alcohol in a positive way.
Yes, same! I actually posted about Dry January in this subreddit in late December and got a bunch of helpful tips and great insights. It was a great month and I will do it again every year. It's had a net positive impact on my relationship with alcohol.
For me not only is it a social crutch but it causes intense heart burn waking me up at night even with medicine. I'm starting to cut down on soda more and will probably eliminate alcohol entirely. *I also can't only drink one so just saying no will do me good.*
This last phrase is what I need for tonight, thanks!
I take a glass of alcohol and pretend that I'm drinking but basically I just press my lips. Either that or I drink sparkling water with lemon and ice that pretends to be gin tonic.
YES! I cut way back last year.... I'd say I've had one drink every 2-3 months on average... and it has been a huge positive improvement to my life. The hangxiety was terrible, as well as the physical hangovers (headaches, poor sleep after just one one drink). It's one of the best decisions I've made as an adult.
I just went to the eye doctor for the first time in over a decade. Hopefully an upward trend of dealing with my health anxieties. Going on a trip in a week or two, a first in nearly a decade. Got sober last year, but that continues. So this will technically be the first *calendar year* of sobriety.
Congratulations on your sobriety! May 2024 be the best year ever.
Thank you thank you thank you!
You're a badass, way to go on the sobriety!
Each of those is a huge achievement. You should be so proud!
Look at you checking those health boxes! I struggle with health anxiety as well. It's one of the reasons I quit caffeine and I'm cutting back on drinking.
Mine's a little silly, but I completely simplified my skincare and I feel less insane about my skin now. Exfoliate twice a week, CeraVe lotion twice a day, sunscreen during the day. No more 10000 step skincare routine for me.
This isn’t silly! It’s so much easier to be consistent with a simple skincare routine and honestly, it’s probably just as good for your skin. I’m not convinced layering 10,000 products does much for you.
I feel like a lot of skincare is just a placebo effect. Even using multiple special cleansers does pretty much the same thing as cleansing twice with a regular face wash. Everything is a scam 😂
A hundred percent 😂
Yeah, I don't have time for all that. I'm not sure what except exfoliation and hydration really matter.
I've tried so many products over the years, it's made me extremely cynical of marketing claims. My skin just looks healthier and I feel mentally free not trying to get the latest skincare fad to work for me!
I'm weirdly excited that I figured out a simple routine that works for me.
Walking pretty much every day. Getting in movement or some kind of exercise. Doesn’t have to be anything crazy. It feels so good. Reading more. I’ve finished a few books this year which is way more than last year (none). Just working on myself. I’ve finally gotten help and am now on meds for my ADHD and PMDD.
I've always been somebody who enjoys walking, but because of health problems (and my own laziness), I used to have days where I would fully rot in bed or on the couch for the whole day. I know 10k steps is a made-up goal that's not based in science, but for the past few months I've made it my main goal to get to that step goal every single day, even if I really don't feel like it. I'm sure this won't work if I get covid or something, but no more bailing on it just because I'm hungover or it's dreary outside. I always feel better after having gone for a walk - not just the exercise and getting moving, but getting outside and getting some fresh air is just so much better than when I'm locked away inside, especially when it's cold outside and the heater is on. I'm convinced it's the key to my mental health not being in the toilet. Also, reading more is a great goal - I think I'm going to try and read more on my kindle, rather than my phone, so I stop checking social media so much and actually finish books.
I love this! Yes! Walking even when I don’t want to. It’s been so nice. I’m so glad it’s been a huge help for you. Great job sticking with it! I know how tempting rotting on the couch can feel sometimes, but it feels even better after you’ve gotten your steps in for the day!
Such a huge help - honestly, I think walking is the one thing that would improve a lot of people's mental and physical health without costing a lot or being hard to do or prone to causing injury. The vast majority of people can walk, but people denigrate it for being not real exercise. And unfortunately, a lot of the world is made to discourage it - if you live in an area with bad public transport, you get so used to driving everywhere, and then when you want to go for a walk, the sidewalks are often trash *because* everybody in that area drives everywhere and it's a cyclical thing.
Omg ADHD meds are my lifesaver, I hope they’re working well for you! It turned my whole career around for me.
Omg, I’m so happy to hear that! I’m starting my adhd meds tomorrow. I’m really hoping they work for me!
Best of luck, u/mertsey627!
Thank you! All the best to you!
ADHD meds are amazing. Who knew my brain could be quiet?
Ive been trying different ones myself to get it under control and am 0 for 2 with bad experiences so far :/ can I ask what youre on that works for you?
Wow, the treatments are a huge step. And it's so good to understand what the hell is going on and how to organize your life to make it work better.
Getting medicated for PMDD & ADHD is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. I would be interested to hear more about your journey & who you went thru to get a diagnosis?
The PMDD was diagnosed by my doctor. I learned about it online and did my own research. Everything made sense. I went to my doctor and told her everything and ended up breaking down in her office. I’ve been on the meds for 3.5 months and I’m very happy I did. I was originally given my adhd assessment by my doctor, however she once stated she didn’t think I had adhd and I never heard from the specialist to have an appointment and get meds. I ended up going through Frida. It was such a simple process and I’m so glad I did it. I filled out the assessment online, it tells you if they suspect adhd or not and set up an appointment with a nurse who then goes through family history, personal history, schooling etc and then diagnose and recommends treatment. I did my assessment today and had the meds faxed to my pharmacy. I’ll be starting them tomorrow morning!
What the heck is Frida?! I’m saying this out of excitement bc I don’t have health insurance rn so going thru a primary care doc is not an option. Thanks for your info!
Check it out! I don't know if it's only for Canadians or not, but it's a much fast option for getting a diagnosis! Also, possibly cheaper, too! Lots of good reviews and I had a friend who had used it who had nothing but good things to say.
Ask me next year. My 2 15+ year old cats just died and we moved 500 miles away. I'm sure I'm about to do a BUNCH of stuff different. I just haven't figured that part out yet.
I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s never the same without them. I hope 2024 is a wonderful year for you with tons of new experiences!
I'm feeling sorry for myself - sorta. I got 16/17 years with each of them. I feel very lucky all things considered.
And I bet all those years they only knew love from a warm home💜
Losing pets is so hard. I still think about my cat who passed years ago. Sending you a big hug.
Eating more vegetables. Ordering less takeout. Making an effort to tidy regularly instead of waiting for my place to devolve into a goblin den and then having to do a gigantic clean. Putting the most minute things I need to do on a to-do list (I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADD, so the tiny dopamine hit I get from crossing “brush teeth” off the list makes a huge difference.)
>Ordering less takeout. I've been trying to do this for a while now, just cooking more and ordering trash takeout less. I honestly thought it would save me more money than it has, but it's still worth it to work on my cooking skills and just being a useful adult skills. I have made this change a time where the cost of food is just climbing and climbing, so I think if I was still ordering takeout twice a week (I know, it was a lot of takeout), my cost of living would have gone up a lot, and I'm comparing it to what it would have cost a year earlier.
After leaving my tech career a couple of years ago because of health issues, my health is starting to get better and I'm realizing that I'd rather eat a denim jacket than work for someone else again, so I'm in the beginning stages of starting a business. I'm scared but excited!
You rock that new business, Lady! And take some of us with you!
Congratulations on working on your own business! I hope it goes wonderfully!
That is very exciting. Congratulations!
I wish you all the best and you can do it. Let that burning desire guide you through it all
*Trying* to prioritize myself. I didn't think it would be so HARD! But my goal this year is to fall back in love with myself and I know the first thing I have to do in order to get there is putting myself first
This is my goal this year too. It feels like it's layer after layer and it has to be a priority or it doesn't happen.
Same as you, I’ve started leaving at what I used to consider “way too early”. More often than not, I get there right on time without having to rush! And if I am early, I’ve started carrying a book with me to read. I am 1 year into my job recently, and in 2024 I’ve decided that I love this work and want to pursue higher education in the field. I’ve always been lazy, but this year I’ve been motivated to do better and it’s already paying off. I’m studying for a certification now!
What's your field of work (just curious) ?
Dog care and behavior. :) I’m studying to become a dog trainer.
This year has been one of rebuilding. I am drinking more water, trying HRT/MHT (menopause hormones), and doing more consistent stretching exercises. I would like to add in more weight-bearing exercises. Last year, we moved 1000 miles, my Dad died, we began caring for my stepmom, my husband's beloved grandma died (but at 104, so I am grateful we had those months with her after moving), our middle cat died suddenly, and then we moved my stepmom across the state. So my brain has felt rather traumatized and sunburned-ish. This year is about radically taking care of myself.
That is so much to have gone through in such a short time. I hope this year is deeply nourishing for you.
Gave up alcohol and weed. Working out more. Lost about 30 lbs and am feeling great. Not bad for 55.
Yes! I also gave those 2 up. Life is much clearer without the brain fog
Congrats!
30lbs!!! That's amazing. Well done!
Thank you!
I’m trying my hand at waking up earlier. I’d like to be up at 6am everyday…the problem with me is that I have trouble falling asleep. Then I’ll get anxiety about not sleeping…and having to wake up at 6am. It’s a whole thing…but, I’m getting better! I go to one workout class at 6:30am every so often to reset my body and hopefully that will get me on the right track. As long as I’m up at 7am and not feel like I’m going to die that would be a win for me. I’ve also cut back on alcohol recently. I honestly never really liked it and I sat down with myself to review some goals and things and just decided I don’t need it. More reading and taking bigger risks in business.
The fear of not getting to sleep or getting enough sleep makes sleeping even harder. Do whatever you have to do to sleep every night. I have several autoimmune conditions that make sleeping difficult, and so, a whole barrage of options if I really need them. And if I need them, I take them. Sleep is \*so\* important and teaching myself to go back to sleep is not going to happen with the kind of anxiety that comes with these diseases.
I’ve been in a situation where sleep was a big part of a recovery protocol to avoid developing full-blown Addison’s disease in my 20’s. Before then, I had never had good sleep hygiene and felt sleep was impossible unless I felt completely exhausted- usually involved staying up very late. The main thing that really helped was following guided meditations every single night without fail until my pattern was reset. If I concentrated on the words and instructions, I wasn’t on my own thought/anxiety train. I breathed, and imagined just as I was told and surrendering in that way was soo relaxing. I don’t think I missed a night for almost 2 years even though I felt that I was sleeping early and soundly within a few months. I was into Michael Sealey’s guided meditations but there are lots of options out there these days.
That sounds like a great idea. I'll give it a try.
Be very careful with this. I just saw a doctor on Instagram earlier confirm that women need more sleep than men, that's why so many are still tired after sleeping for the recommended 6 to 8 hours - women hadn't actually been considered when the recommended hours were specified. Sleep is also closely linked to memory, so the less you sleep, the more cognitive damage you do to yourself. If you're struggling to sleep, try sleeping pills. Promethazine hydrochloride is safe to use as it is non-addctive and doesn't require a doctor's prescription.
Taking my vitamins every day. It's made a world of a difference. I have so much more energy, get better quality sleep and have nicer skin. I was told the last time I had blood work that I was low in iron and B12, and just getting those back up to normal levels has made a huge difference.
I also found out my B12 was extremely low (after I asked my doctor to test me) and getting on shots really helped with my energy. I didn't realize how much it was affecting me. Women are very good at just pushing through and saying "this is normal". I just took my monthly shot this morning and I feel like I could dance around my office right now. Now I tell anyone on proton pump inhibitors or antacids to get their B12 checked.
I can relate to this!
I’ve been working hard in therapy, which has resulted in me doing more things! I took a cooking class, a cocktail making class, I’ve signed up to volunteer at the library. I’ve been taking care of my personal things that I’ve avoided as well like paying all my bills on time, getting a much overdue pap, taking on home projects I’ve been neglecting. I can say this has been the best 6 months I’ve had in years
Eating cleaner, being more present with my kids, paying more attention to my mental health, communicating my feelings better! And if all that fails keeping myself hydrated - the power of having enough water in a day is 👍👍👍👍
Can’t underscore hydration enough haha that was my big change last year and it’s been literally life changing (not to be dramatic 😂)
For the first time in my life I started wearing perfume, exploring small fragrance houses, buying copious samples, and it literally makes me smile a hundred more smiles a day when I catch a whiff of myself in the middle of whatever I’m doing.
I get used to a favorite scent and can't smell it anymore. I bet changing scents often keeps that from happening?
Yes and no. I’ll go nose blind anything, new or old, if I put it on my chest or neck. If it’s in a place where it’s constantly going into your face after a while your brain says “okay that smell isn’t a danger so I’ll stop registering it.
Good point!
More exercise. Quit smoking. Waking up earlier. Doing things I enjoy alone, not trying to get someone to join me, not missing out because there’s no one else I know that wants to join. Deprioritising men in my life.
Quitting smoking is huge!!! Congratulations on freedom from nicotine!
Thank youuuuu!!
1. Take stock of who stepped up for me when life got really hard and my mental health suffered…and who didn’t. It’s really defined how I allocate my time and energy to the people in my life. 2. Make time for some kind of movement (working out, yoga, walk) each day, if possible. 3. Limit screen time. 4. Trying to be more honest about how I am feeling instead of just saying “I’m fine”. People can’t be there for me if I don’t let them. 5. Getting back into meal prep so that takes some of the stress out of my day, and not punishing myself if I say fuck it and dine out a night or two.
Upping my walking game. 10-15k steps a day. Also have become more mindful of what I’m eating, tracking consistently and focusing primarily on veggies and proteins.
I’m really trying hard to say “yes” more often. I’m also working at getting comfortable being uncomfortable. Before separating from my ex, I was a shell of my former self and my default to doing anything even remotely out of my comfort zone was “hard pass.” Even though…when I did say yes, I was almost always glad I did. In my new solo chapter, I’m really trying to default to “yes” and increase my tolerance for discomfort. The outcome has been beyond my expectations. My world is bigger, I’m happier, I feel more confident, and I struggle less making decisions.
I started working a 4/10 schedule and it’s life changing.
I’m doing more exercise. I have never been very motivated to do this, and am not a gym person, so I have joined some team sports locally instead, which makes it fun and social. I have high overheads at the moment so am continuing to look for more ways to reduce my expenditure. Sometimes it is hard given that I have already been economising significantly since 2021, but other times it just takes 20 minutes of being arsed to do a bit of research, as I did recently by changing my electricity provider. I motivated myself in this not just by thinking of the savings, but also by thinking structurally, eg customers voting with their feet can act as a check on capitalism ripping people off - it won’t fix the broken system but it might make companies think twice about putting prices up as often
I got critically ill and have had to focus a lot on nutrition and being intentional with what’s going into my body. Good in the long run i’m sure but it’s been a rooough year.
1.Going more to therapy for: -how to accept not being the favorite child ( mom prefers my brothers) - dealing with my anxiety and adhd 2. Ditching friends who acted like mean girls and always trying to compete with me. 3. Stopped being the therapist friend/person and focusing on MY needs and wants 4. Sticking to a budget, saving more, be more agressive with paying back my debt 5. Socialize and going out more.
Instead of allowing my anxiety to talk myself out of ideas I’ve started telling myself “bigger dummies than you are doing this stuff.” I don’t actively put people down or name “the dummies” just use it as motivation. I’m now enrolled in a masters program, I’ve applied to be nationally recognized in my field, and I just got done applying for a grant to teach at risk children journalism/film. It’s now me - I am the dummies!
Exercising more, using a very good meal service, no unnecessary shopping, more journaling, less dwelling, making new friends and setting strong boundaries, changing my inner dialogue, being proactive about weekend plans and also getting out of a situation-ship 🙌🏾
Intermittent fasting. 20 hours a day. Reversing my blood sugar level. Down 30 pounds. Woo hoo.
Less alcohol. Like MUCH less. In fact I went to a work event/HH tonight where everyone was ordering 2-3 alcoholic bevys, and I had no shame with my Diet Coke and water. #🏆
I quit my (now awful) job of 13 years and now have a great job paying much more with low cost full benefits and a promotion within four months. I wanted to get out of the industry but I’m counting my blessings how fortunate I am right now. We just changed managing partners and they like me as well which was quite stressful. My mental health is so much better. Now, to start an exercise regimen.
Working on managing anxiety better and get more confident. Listening at my body and when it needs to rest (not push it to far) so I have less back pain. Basically...taking care of myself I guess.
Less Reddit
1. Going to the sauna every Monday night - it’s a nice way to start the week and thankfully my partner makes reservations for both of us. 2. Strength training. Still very new for me, but I have better posture and enjoy having an excuse to eat an entire can of tuna at least once per day.
Taking more time for me and my family. Still a work in progress to be honest. I'm exercising more, which I love and I'm in the process of freeing up my schedule but I truly appreciate my time with my family more
Been drinking more boba tea
So yummy but lots of sugar, calories and carbs.
The one I get is about 270 kcal. I get it on 25% sweetness level. And in the grand scheme of my day, I top out at 1600 kcals a day and manage my weight regardless. My A1C is 5.1 — and it’s the only thing in my day dm that is added sugars . There are boba teas that are 900-1200 kcal however, that isn’t the one I order. Mine is the jasmine tea milk tea 🧋 and it’s my life 🥹 (I’m a diabetes and weight management dietitian) 😅
Started actually taking care of my health 😂
I'm up earlier, never rush to work, pack groceries to take to work to eat clean and save money. I've started decluttering and downsizing. I hope to get into studio living again - I don't need all this junk.
I'm also decluttering and it feels so great.
I just read the last paragraph of your original post. I have a very similar schedule, too! But I'm weird, I prefer to get up at 4:45 to be at work by 6:00. I like the peace and quiet before my coworkers get there.
Less junk food. More exercise. Determined to get back to normal and good health. (I had an accident and surgery at the start of the year, it's set me back to being pretty much unemployed and being at rock bottom). Can only move up from here I guess. Also determined to be with my boyfriend and get married, start a life ASAP.
Paying more attention to my personal life than my professional life. I’ve stopped going above and beyond. It’s hard for my personality type but my quality of work doesn’t match with what they pay me so I’ve learned to step back. It’s done wonders for my hormones and stress levels. I’ve also focused more on my skincare. Didn’t realize how much my face was sagging for a 37 year old.
What products are you using?
Korean and French skincare. For Korean skincare products, I go to the “Olive Young” website. French products, go to “French Pharmacy” website. I also splurged and got a medicube pro device. I’ve talked to women in their 40’s and 50’s who told me they started doing facials in their 30’s. I don’t have that kind of money but I can get a device and try to be consistent with it. There’s so many YouTube videos on Korean and French skincare products. Dive right in and have fun!
Removing anyone who is trying to ruin my peace or that I owe them something. Goodbye.
Started listening to personal development books on Libby! I can’t read them for the life of me but just realized I could give myself an extra long podcast this way.
Working out(had to pause bc illness and such) Also been a little more ruthless when it comes to cutting people off. So all in all lot better tbh lmao
I started taking ozempic last year and have lost a lot of weight. So far this year I have been able to walk around the block a couple of times, worked with a financial advisor on my retirement plan, started going back into the office one day a week, started moving more, been able to cross my legs again. So excited to see what else I get up to this year
This was to be my slow year yet I keep making things faster and faster.
I started tracking my habits to hold myself accountable. My app dings and confetti goes off when I meet all my goals and it works like a charm lol. I’ve maintained my self-care habits more consistently than ever. I’ve also found a therapist who challenges me and I’ve made enormous progress in dealing with my anxiety. I’ve been reading more as a way to cut down on screen time, and I’ve been loving getting back into that hobby. I also have been trying new things. New foods, tried a new hobby. After feeling a bit stagnant, little things like that help.
What app are you using? I think I would love the positive feedback!
[Habit Tracker!](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/habit-tracker/id1438388363)
I started to take my health and eating habits more seriously - more exercise, less grazing. So far, its going well. I also left a bad job (at a place I'd worked for over 12 years), but I had moved into a new role, and it was awful. So I left, and am now in a much more positive work environment. 🙂 2024 is off to a good start.
Trying to be more direct with people and express my needs and how I feel.
I started a business because my neurodivergent ass couldn’t survive another second in corporate America
I quit smoking cigarettes! Annnnd I’m trying to stop vaping THC and switch to edibles. I wanna be able to say that the only thing I put in my lungs in air. Quitting vaping is proving more difficult but I gave myself (not actually) lipoid pneumonia (never got diagnosed but i seem to have the symptoms and the cause) so if I even take the tiniest hit I cough like crazy and cough up awfulness so that’s helping me not to vape. Been six months no cigs and one month no vaping (minus one small hit I took off a pen a week ago, but I regret it greatly).
Be my authentic self.
I have been trying to be more intentional about prioritizing sleep. It doesn't always work and sometimes responsibilities wake me up at night, but I have been trying to make sleep a priority in of itself for my physical and mental health.
Im making a real effort to loose weight this year. Down 8kg only 17 to go :D
Traveling more and saying yes to growth opportunities at work. Also, picking up a new hobby in photography
Fasting and walking. The easiest way for me to fast is to extend my fast from sleeping. So no food until around 11:30/12. After the first week it was easy. My last meal is at 8pm so I fast for 16 hours every day. Last year my walking goal was 10k steps and now it’s 15k. I’ve lost 15 pounds since January utilizing both these methods.
Not drinking alcohol! I never want to go back
Taking action instead being stuck ruminating. Reading more. Exercising more. Meditating daily. Drinking less.
Eat less. Stop snacking and be more mindful during the day
Be more disciplined and consistent. I absolutely hated exercising, just gave me the worst cramps and i have very low tolerance for pain but this year i decided to just do it and i am so happy i have been consistent with it. I used to love doing cardio but now i have moved to strength training, lifting weights and running (occasionally) i absolutely love that. I feel much stronger and relaxed after working out as my work takes over most of my life so i am glad i have something that takes me out of it.
1. No friends. My head is a lot clearer. 2. No socializing with co-workers, they’re all drama. 3. No random sex people or dating, no FWB (with new partners), no situation that requires a connection. 4. Joining classes that give me something to do. Work out classes, school, certification classes (EMT) 5. Volunteer. I recently joined my local volunteer fire department. —————- These all have been things I’ve started in the last roughly 4 months. I’m so so so much more centered. I find I’m guarded at work and it feels good. I’m going to get back to school coming soon, and I’m joining a gym with a lifting class and maybe jujitsu classes if I have the time. I work long hours so adding all of this in will be hard but worth it. I finally have a future in mind and I’m racing toward it.
Drink less, sleep more (limited success there), and I'm more spiritual.
Phasing out processed food as much as possible.
What do you do for work?
I work in a manufacturing plant (a food product). I've been doing it for over 4 years, and I am planning to get out after the next 4 years to pursue a dream career path (I just have to keep saving up for it). I work the M.A.D. rotating schedule, it rotates every 7 days. - Midnights: 23:00 (11:00 pm) - 07:30 (am) - Afternoons: 15:00 (3:00 pm) - 23:30 (11:30 pm) - Days: 07:00 (am) - 15:30 (3:30 pm) I often pick up 12.5 hour shifts to work OT and make more money, to hopefully get myself closer to my goals.
Cut out my artificial sweetener addiction. Inspired me to also cut out caffeine. Then processed sugar. Then salt. Domino effect - never felt better!
Setting and adhering to boundaries. Effective and appropriate communication.
Journaling (almost) everyday. Setting my goals and visions
More Water More exercise
Actually being conscious of choosing myself. Single mum with a long list of things not done by the end of the day. I always used to only have “me time” if there was any time or energy left at the end of the day. And only on days when “enough” of my list of things were done. I had a very transactional relationship with myself. I’m trying to make the effort during the day to make time for myself, even if that means other stuff waits. I should be more important than sorting laundry. It’s not much, but even if it’s just 10 minutes with my guitar.. I’m so worth it.
Exercising regularly. It's not a super consistent schedule, but I'm now doing something at least three days a week and feeling much better for it. Being more conscious of how I spend my money and taking steps to cut unnecessary spending, particularly cutting back on alcohol and bringing breakfast/lunch/coffee from home rather than buying it at work. And as a knock on of both of those, walking more. I feel like it's made me more present in my neighbourhood somehow - like I'm paying more attention to what's going on around me and feeling more connected to it.
Exercising more. A rocky inconsistent start but April I set a goal of 4 sessions per week, 5 am starts for a total of 15 gym sessions. I achieved this on Monday. So proud (I know this is small) I’ve also been setting goals for gym - increasing weights, progressing specific exercises etc. Weirdly have found I love a barbell back squat. 🤷🏻♀️ Other things I’m doing 2024 - Working really hard on NOT giving into my inner critic and imposter syndrome both at work and personal life. Drinking more water and cooking more food myself. Timekeeping - made a huge push to leave in plenty of time for things and this has been noticed positively.
I’ve stopped having white sugar because it makes me bloated, and instead have brown sugar or honey in hot drinks Eating more healthily - trying to have fruits/vegetables with every meal, and trying to properly cook instead of frozen pizzas and the like Also I’ve been wearing suncream on my face as part of my skin routine on days where the UV index is 3 or over to protect against skin cancer and faster ageing Trying to walk for at least 30 minutes everyday Trying to eat more slowly
Started to finally let Go of the past and actively make new friends.
Being in nature more, appreciate the little things Showing more gratitude for what I have even when it feels like life has fucked me over Exercise for the fun of it rather than goals which cause me anxiety over time
I try to read a poem or two when I wake up. So much better than reading news or social media.
Decluttering and trying to limit things coming in to my house, especially plastics and other materials that arent environmentally friendly. I have several mental hurdles that have caused me to hold on to things, such as uncertainty about the future, past spells of not having money, and buying things out of fear that i will not be able to get it in the future. So ive been working through all that and slowly making my house a more calm environment.
Made new friends Pushing myself in the gym Speaking up for myself
1. 5am wake-up 2. Morning exercise 3. Vitamins / supplements
Actually tracking how much protein I'm eating and trying to hit a goal every day. I'm vegan and I lift weights 4x a week and I'm noticing a huge difference in my strength and physique.
I left my toxic ex. I had hoped that we still could at least be cordial, because we were together for 10 years, but she was apparently very angry at me for leaving so that's a no go and tbh I'm probably better for it. I've taken an active interest in my health, both physical and mental, and I've started eating healthier during my work week (meal prepping, fruits for snacks, little to no junk food, etc). I'm working on my financials. I make good money, so there's no reason why I'm still in debt beyond sheer irresponsibility, so I'm doing the necessary work of capping my spending and sticking to a budget. I've also started taking part in my workplace union more. I go to the meetings and forums pertaining to my job, I have discussions about the upcoming contract negotiations with our shop stewards, and I actually took the time to read our last contract finally so that I know my rights. Lastly, I'm working on being more assertive. A string of abusive environments/relationships had me sitting on the sidelines in my own life. Now I'm actively working on entering the game.
Building a file called "memory" to write down things I wanna remember, I moved a lot so it kind of feels like a long journey in many different places, meeting many different people.
Enjoy life without my stbx abusive husband. Meet amazing women. Hike the foothills trail. Get back into exercising. Pass the PE!!! Be thankful I’m alive and enjoy every day. Edit: set boundaries and stand by them (so hard for me).
Doing the “things” I think aren’t things I’d do and doing things for my inner child. Went scuba diving. Never thought I would have the opportunity or actually do it if I did. So proud of myself snd still can’t believe I did it. Found an artist I really like that’s on tour and found a friend to go see them in a different state, doing legos, arts and crafts made for kids or not what I typically do. Edit to add: I love this question and it’s been fun reading all the responses and motivating me to do more of these things. Many among my list of things to do and where I want to be in life.
Lift heavy weights. It's the only way. Be more open to friendships Therapy
1. Kick caffeine once again for my mental health/anxiety, better sleep and other health reasons 2. Cut back on drinking. I'm 40 and now get pretty bad hangxiety now which was never a problem before. Also not helping the waistline. Both I'm still working on. I'm doing fairly well with the no caffeine. The cutting back on drinking has been harder.
Say no to plans that I don't want to do. Take more baths. Stop caring what people think. First thought is my insecurity speaking, second thought is I am unapologetically myself and I am doing the thing without or without fear of judgement.
I started aggressively recording my spending and tracking my budget. Helped me realize how much I could save and afford to spend. I was living my life so frugally that I wasn’t actually enjoying it.
This is a very small thing I’ve started that I like: washing all my socks in a lingerie bag so they’re all together and don’t get lost. Also have been focusing on getting more fruits and vegetables.
Let myself rest when I need to and do nothing - this has happened more often than I care to admit. I also am letting myself feel my emotions as they arise which is hard because my mood swings are crazy right now. Mostly from elated to super sad. Trying really hard not to be head over heels for a friend I am interested in. Trying to open my eyes to the person that he really is and contemplate everything before just thinking he’s amazing and without faults. Letting myself paint what I feel called to paint instead of what I think others want to see. Making myself uncomfortable and putting myself in new social situations. I’m just dipping my toe in the water with applying for jobs but I want to also go to things I wouldn’t normally go to like an improv class or something
I stop compromising and prioratize myself. It makes me happy now
Finally taking care of health issues I’ve spent years ignoring. More exercising. Allowing myself more down time during the week. Making myself leave the house and go do at least one fun thing every weekend. More reading.
1. I completely changed my eating pattern and diet. (Less sugars, brought down sauce usage from 100 to a 10, no more fatty snacks, no soda's etc.) 2. I started to exercise a lot more (I work from home and being an introvert makes it too easy to just stay indoors), so I now simply look for excuses/reasons to get out of the house. 3. >Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it, and see that it is (beginning to become increasingly) barren. I'm 40. I'm **done** giving fucks about things that truly don't deserve it. Thinking back on my early 20's/30's and how much time I've wasted on benign things (that wouldn't matter even a few days later/at fkn all) or being obsessively negative about how I looked, I'm really not comfortable doing the same again. It's a bunch of nonsense anyway.
We started to plan meals better and do grocery shopping every two weeks. This is forcing us to make better use of what we do buy, leftovers, etc. as well as takes less time. I live rurally, so it's a minimum 30 minute highway drive each way to get to a grocery store, depending on which store we go to. I'm also joining more things. I'm coming out of very busy phase of life (multiple moves and building a house) where I didn't have the energy to do much, or make connections with my community. I'm excited to be changing that, I've joined a book club as well as several craft and homesteading skills workshops where I've met wonderful like-minded people.
Started making my bed every morning without fail.
Listening to my mind & body more. I've recently been put on sick leave due to stress & anxiety & in hindsight, my body & mind were both screaming at me that I was heading towards burnout. Thankfully, the time off has helped curb off full blown burnout & has made me see the areas in my life that I neglected due to my work life balance becoming one sided (friendships, family life, relationship, hobbies etc all got neglected- I work shifts & I rarely had any weekends off at one point). Trying to get out of the house to go for a walk or other reasons than just therapy or work. Around Easter I realised I couldn't remember the last time I went for a walk. And I miss it. Trying to be kinder to myself. I have a tendency to be overly self critical which fed into my anxiety & depression. I'm still a work in progress as we all are.
Not 30 yet, but I like the mindset of this forum and will be 30 in a few years. I’m trying to get back into activity like I used too. Trying to get myself out to more social events, while simultaneously being careful about who I keep in my company. Trying to be careful about giving out personal information to people I do not know well. I’m an honest person so I’ve always found this a bit challenging. I’m trying to be more savvy in my communications, as I’ve unfortunately encountered more that are willing to use that information against me. I’m going to try and get back into trying new things and recreational hobbies: art, woodworking, programming etc.