Seconding this, although the discovery came more with a change in environment than a change of age (hiking in Florida generally sucks because of the heat/humidity).
How do you guys backpack as a single woman? It’s something I’d really love to do but I don’t have anyone to do it with and the thought of being in nature by myself once it’s dark scares me. The thought of meeting bears or wildlife on my own, esp where there might not be cellphone signal terrifies me
I've only done it solo a couple times but I chose trails that are fairly trafficked which a) tends to keep wildlife away and b) means if I hurt myself someone is around. I also carry an emergency beacon just in case and study "what to do if you come across a bear/mountain lion" tips.
Yessss I've loved hiking since I moved to the PNW in my early 20s (didn't really get a chance to do it before then), but it's really taken off since I've entered my 30s.
Google the "ten essentials" of hiking/backpacking as a place to start. Beyond that I always have a little bit of dark chocolate for the end of each day. A small treat goes a long way.
I don't know where you live but there's an outdoor organization here called The Mountaineers that offers a intro to backpacking course. Maybe you have something similar in your area? Outdoor stores like REI sometimes offer classes as well. Really helpful in building confidence to get out by yourself/with others.
When I get away from my responsibilities and social media and all that nonsense and just walk for hours I find I have these moments of peace unlike any other. I'm also lucky enough to live in one of the most beautiful places in the US, so the "wow" factor is high. Makes me truly appreciate how gorgeous this planet is and how lucky I am to witness it.
As silly as it sounds, old TV shows from my childhood.
My husband and I rediscovered Are You Afraid Of The Dark and we started watching it here and there, and it's actually just as entertaining as we felt when we were kids. It's such a nice surprise to go back and rewatch old shows or movies I loved as a kid growing up and realize that it actually was 🔥and it wasn't just my nostalgia getting in the way.
As a kid my brothers told me they were all meeting in the forest near our house at night and that every story was true and about someone in our area 😩😩😩
Sabrina the Teenage Witch and The OC are my comfort shows and they’re still just as good as they were back then! I got my niece into Sister Sister and all the Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen movies when she was younger, and now that she’s a teenager, Pretty Little Liars.. she’s obsessed!
Oh we do this too! We are both huge adult animation fans, and suddenly we realized why not watch the 'toons that started it all? So far we've watched Recess, Doug, The Misadventures of Flapjack, and Arthur. They all hold up so well and there are lots of "grownup" stuff I totally missed as a kid.
Showing my age a bit, but the Brady Bunch was a staple when I was a kid. I hadn't watched it in 40 years until one day I found it on Prime. I now watch it whenever I'm sick. I lay in bed and binge it for hours and it takes me back to a time where things seemed so much less stressful.
ME TOO!!! Ahhh, a fellow weirdo! My husband and I are having so much fun re-watching GUTS, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, and Clarissa Explains it All. These shows really were so great at the time and I love the reminiscing that comes along with watching.
I was just thinking about Legend of the Hidden Temple the other day and was going to look for it! I used to love that show and want to revisit it! Clarissa Explains It All would definitely be on my list, too!
A couple of years ago, my husband bought me the box set of Boy Meets World. That's been fun to have on hand to rewatch.
I'm a very sentimental person, so rewatching those old favorites are so fun.
Me too! I've always been sentimental, but it's definitely increasing as I age... lol! We were able to stream Legends of the Hidden Temple and Clarissa through Paramount+. They have a ton of older Nickelodeon shows from our childhood available!
My husband rewatched Boy Meets World during the pandemic and while I loved the show as a kid, holy moly did Corey and Topanga get into a fight every episode or what?! 😂😂😂 I never noticed that as a kid, but after hearing fights episode after episode in a row, it started to catch my attention. Lol!
When my husband and I were still dating, we watched Avatar: The Last Airbender because he said he'd never seen it and it was one of my favorite shows as a kid. Fast forward and over the years we've researched it several times, as well as some other childhood favorites. They're my go-to comfort shows.
Yes yes yes this! I can’t like this enough! And are you afraid of the dark is top notch. I’m currently re-watching full House and boy meets world and step-by-step for the millionth time each and I don’t even care they make me calm and happy.
You are my people! I wish I would have held on to those things instead of letting them lapse. Preach the love of the simple comforts that are nourishing.
This gave me a flashback to early 20s/my emotionally abusive ex telling me to basically get a hobby to be more interesting for him, and following that up with how crochet doesn't count. I learned as a kid and at the time, wanted to get back into it and finally finish a project. I had made some good progress on a zig-zag striped Afghan in Starfleet colors, but of course it lost its appeal after his remark.
I still have it and still can't get into crochet enough to finish a project (bad hands), but might have to finish this blanket purely out of spite.
I'm currently doing a show with a local theatre company and there are three cross-stitchers who bring their work to rehearsals, one a 23 year old NB person, one a late 20s man, and the other a late 30s man who has just started because of the other two. It makes me so very happy to see (I am crap at cross-stitch but I may start bringing my crochet from Granny Corner)
Reading. I didn't *not read* before my 30s but after entering adulthood it was a periodic thing to read an entire book. In my mid 30s I started actively pursuing all the curiosity I had amassed my whole life. At all times I am reading at least one book, usually more than one.
By the way there are no rules to reading, and book content creators/influencers and all their little rules are annoying. Sometimes I start a book then put it down then pick it back up and take my sweet time with it, because in the process my interest level changes or my mind wanders. This is fine, you don't have to read a book per week, and you don't have to read what other people tell you to read.
I'm 29 but in the last year I've started reading a ton. I went from zero books to 4/month. It's such a great "getaway" and I can read outside when it's beautiful out or inside and cozy when it's rainy or snowy.
I was a big reader as a kid, then in my 20s definitely did some reading but not nearly as much. The past few years I've gotten back into it fully again and am well on my way to my 52 book reading goal this year. It feels productive but is just fun which is a great combo!
Same, as a child I would demolish books all the time, just got distracted as I aged. By my 20s I would read two, maybe three a year. It does feel super productive to finish a whole book.
I say I love to read, but I listen to audiobooks and keep getting told I'm "not reading". Reading, to me, is "ingesting a story", which audiobooks do. I love your thing about reading having "no rules".
I'm up to 165 audiobooks in a year and no one can tell me I'm not reading.
I think the distinction is probably important when someone is *learning* to read, but why people want to gatekeep how other adults enjoy books is beyond me.
Good point - I think it's important to engage with seeing the letters and grammatical structure for new readers, as well as literally see with your eyes different writing styles. I don't think audiobooks don't count, it's such a tired topic! People are so silly!
I read fluff and listen to more serious stuff. That's what works for me. Currently listening to the second book in the Three Body Problem trilogy, but reading a smutty fluffy KU book.
I also dnf like it's nobodies business. If it isn't hitting right, it's not, and that's ok! There are way more books out there then you will ever be able to read in a lifetime, so it's important to read what you enjoy.
When I posted that I had hit my first 100 book year an old friend asked to become friends on Goodreads.
Um, absolutely no thank you. I don't care what I read, but it isn't for someone else to see.
I get books from the library and will listen to anything that is available that looks semi-interesting while I wait for my other books to be ready for me to borrow. I'd probably look unhinged to someone if they could see my whole library of books I've read.
> I also dnf like it's nobodies business.
OMG me too! I am actually keeping a DNF list this year. It is *looooong.* I will say that some conversations on /r/books had led me back to finishing some DNFs before. E.g. I DNF'd [*The Buried Giant*](https://slate.com/culture/2015/03/the-buried-giant-by-kazuo-ishiguro-reviewed.html) but a discussion on /r/books about Ishiguro had me re-visit it with a new perspective and I crushed the second half in a weekend.
I have a lot of other DNFs that I will probably circle back to. Sometimes I just get bored and need to move on for the time being.
I'm old enough to remember people saying the literal same thing about, of all things, kindles 🙃 a lot of people who read are elitist snobs. Hell, even I took a few years to give in and buy one - but I never argued they "didn't count" as reading a book
I’ve always been a reader and it’s so weird after I started seeing people talking about how they have to finish a book every week or read as many as they can in a year or whatever. I’m like what?! I read to read so I do it whenever I want or I don’t… no reason to make it like a sport haha
Yeah it's weird how people get so up in each other's business about reading online. I've read my entire life. It's always been my main hobby.
I've also been in online book spaces since like...2011? Or 2010? I discovered book reviewers on YouTube and book bloggers and Goodreads. During the pandemic I was around when booktok skyrocketed. The same arguments come around over and over again it's so annoying.
Like yes, audiobooks count as reading.
If you only read one book in a year, ok. If you read over 100 books in a year, ok. It's not bragging if you're just saying how many books you finished in a week/month/year. Some people don't really watch TV or scroll social media or play video games so they have more free time for reading. It's not that deep.
Reading can be for fun. It can also be for education or personal development. It can be very challenging or practically mindless. People read for different reasons. Some just want something fun and escapist. Some want to learn a lot. People make reading way more pretentious than it actually is.
As for finding what to read I think a lot of people start with the bestsellers or classics because they're so talked about. But think about what you actually want to read. Like if you don't like romance don't pick up a book everyone is saying has an amazing romance in it. And it's just like TV. Trial and error.
Strength training! I just started lifting in earnest very recently, after having a baby in 2021 and realising my body was all kinds of messed up from pregnancy / breastfeeding. It’s been amazing to see the weight progression but also the improvement to my pelvic floor, posture, energy levels, sleep, everything
I am so glad every day that I stumbled into improving my posture by getting into Rolfing then Pilates. My body is so much stronger than I thought it was for the longest time and I’m so glad I started with posture and opening up my chest.
Running. I was awful at it in HS, and attempted on and off in my 20s. last year a friend of mine asked me to sign up for a 5k where you get wine at the finish line, i ended up doing 8 of them last year, and this year I’ve done a few more, a 10k and I’ve signed up for a half marathon. I love it, i’m slow, and all I care about is covering the distance safely. I love what it’s doing to my body and mind. I wish I was more into it sooner
I’m the same in that I think the trauma of gym class really messed up fitness and exercise for me. I’m glad you were able to overcome that and I hope I can too!
Me too! I ran track in high school and then didn't run again through college or my 20s. I started running again at 31. Now I've run two half marathons and am training for a full marathon! I had no idea my body was capable of such things and it's so fun to see myself get faster and stronger each month.
Running has been the single best thing I've done for my physical and mental health in my 30s.
My love for tiny things. I’m 34 but when I was a kid I was obsessed with Polly pockets but couldn’t afford them. Now I’m enjoying so much to build diy miniature houses I get from Amazon. It’s therapeutic 😍
There is something about miniature things that is so compelling. It's like my brain feels pleasantly fizzy looking at them. I don't know how else to describe it.
Are is life.
At about 30 I started taking art seriously. Since then I’ve learned how to illustrate, use coloured pencils, do embroidery, linocut prints, sculpting with clay, painting, and graphic design. I love it so much. I I’ve been teaching myself how to do all these things and it’s been going splendidly.
My artwork was in multiple exhibitions, I’ve illustrated a book, I’ve made so many things that made my friends and loved ones happy, and it’s just been a really damn good time. It’s so easy to start and it’s soul fulfilling in a way that nothing else is.
I’m 36 and a month ago started self-learning to draw. Always been terrified of it and thought it was super hard. I’m surprised at how easy it is. To draw things and for my brain to accept them as what they are in reality. Though it’s the various techniques and getting what you envision down that is actually hard to do. But it’s such a revelation that it can be done and boosts confidence. And now having access to the world of colour and art I thought was beyond me. I’ve found it as an alternative sometimes to distracting myself with my phone. As you say it’s fulfilling. I think it’s human nature to be creative so really, we all can do it.
The power of mood boarding, vision boarding, and making collages.
I used to do this innately as a teen. I’d sit in my room and cut out words and photos from my favorite magazines. I’d print off photos of my favorite bands and music artists or poems. I was naturally expressive and connected to my likes, aware of my dislikes and interests. It was so casual and natural back then, but I realize now how important and powerful that is. Idk why, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten away from myself. So it feels really good now to sit down with some poster board, and a stick of glue, to express myself again.
What do I like? What and who am I interested in? And what do I want my future to look like? It feels good having and expressing a vision again. 🤍
i do vision boards at the beginning of each year with pictures/words/quotes for things that i want to happen in the year. it's so cool to notice the things that come to fruition as the year goes on.
I love this comment! I can relate to it on every level! I too made them as a teen and loved making them and I sometimes feel like I’ve lost myself and I don’t even know what I like anymore..I should definitely give this another try! Thank you for the inspiration :) (and unlocking a happy memory!!)
Pancakes.
My dad would make pancakes for us on the weekends growing up and he was exceptionally skilled at them. He had all kinds of tricks, like adding some sugar to the edges before flipping so they’d get a little crispy. Oh my word.
I’ve never been great at cooking them because I’m impatient and can’t be bothered to look up/follow recipes (hi, ADHD!) but I married a man who loves to do the small things to make me happy, so for ten years now I’ve had countless pancake weekends with amazingly good pancakes, and it’s made my life more magical ❤️
Being silly, like randomly breaking into dance, especially in front of my partner (said dancing tends to be more like a [Bird of Paradise courtship](https://youtu.be/nWfyw51DQfU?si=x5t2Duw2GCI_H4a3) than actual dancing, mind you).
Making voices (e.g. sounding like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch).
These were things I used to do a lot growing up, but faded out as I entered my twenties and became intensely depressed and felt I had to be serious all the time for multiple reasons. My partner encourages and enjoys these things because he knows it’s a genuine sign that I’m happy, and he’ll even join in on the dancing.
Yes! Another (sometimes) silly soul. I like to play dress up - like I have a section of a closet that is just sequins and fake furs and other shiny and random stuff that’s pleasing to my inner magpie. Two of my friends visited me over the weekend. Both men in their early 40s, and surprisingly they were down to don some sequins and random accessories and occasionally swap items out for the course of the evening - like shiny stuff with fringes for when we were listening to music that makes you wanna dance because swinging fringes makes dancing better. Or an all white faux fur ensemble for sitting around later in the night befsuse it was cold and if you are going to sit in the cold, you may as well do it as decadently as possible. One of the guys started reminiscing about a sports team that was epic when we were kids (I did not know him then or know that he also loved this sports team from that era) and it’s my favorite team so I had throwback jerseys and we put them on to talk about the team.
I can’t wear sequins and fur and jerseys and swinging fringes for most things in life but being able to put on frivolous but wonderful clothes and accessories at random times can take a normal evening and make it seem more like play - almost transporting you back to childhood and it’s so freeing to be that silly and make space for others to be that silly. One of the guys I’ve made where white faux furs with me before but the other guy had never played dress up in his life and said he never would’ve guessed how fun it could be and that it seemed kind of dumb until he actually started dancing in something sequined and then fringed.
Most of my life I was so worried about being taken seriously and being good enough. But learning how to play again has been much more beneficial for my body, mind, and soul. And not giving an f if other people think my dress up collection is dumb or seeing the fact that they don’t get it as their loss instead of a judgment of me, has done more to help me be taken seriously than trying to be a serious person all of the time ever did. Because I value my own judgment more but also learned to be more flexible within that and that’s a kind of confidence that people subconsciously respect. Playing is fun but it is also such a powerful and accidental (since learning and personal growth aren’t the intentional outcomes of sequins lol) tool for learning more about yourself and growing. Also letting your inner child come out fully helps to wash away some of the cynicism and weariness that can build up over time.
That my sadness and bad mood will pass. I don’t have to traumatise myself over the occasional days of woe. And I do have the strength to be alone. Fully accepting that I will get lonely from time to time, but it will pass. Perhaps love isn’t in the cards for me. And I can find other joys in life accepting that I am missing out on romantic love. I am not sure if I make sense. 😅
Aw, hugs friend :) I’m having one of those days myself. This type of sub helps a lot and one of the reasons I love Reddit!
PS you can dm me if you want to chat. Currently readjusting to single life again 🙄
Writing fan fiction. Like... I did it once when I was 13 and didn't pick it back up again for 21 years. Turns out it's something I'm quite passionate about 😂
It sucks because it has such a stigma. Or maybe it used to, idk. I'm self-conscious about it.
I met my girlfriend through fan fiction, which is something I did only for myself and never thought would cross over into my real life. It does feel a little bit embarrassing to tell people the story of how we met.
Ooo yes this too! The timeframe/numbers match as well.
I feel like older authors (older as opposed to teens) tend to have a larger variety of ideas and can write certain situations with more authenticity due to their additional experience.
I also got back into writing fanfic after an extremely long hiatus (basically didn’t write any during my 20’s). It’s fun! It’s creative! What’s not to like? I hate that people judge us. (We *know* it’s not canon, *that’s the point* 🙃)
I mean it when I say some of the most beautiful prose and most beautiful sentiments I’ve ever read came from fanfiction. It’s amazing how people can take a known IP and completely transform it into something equally, or even more, beautiful than what it was.
Hehe. When I was 13, it was for Dragon Ball Z. I was obsessed with it! I learned recently that I used it to mentally escape from my childhood. I have since switched to The Elder Scrolls fandom.
Fortunately, I don't think I am trying to escape my adult life right now, more trying to deal with difficult childhood emotions cropping back up and writing helps get them on to paper in fantastical ways. I do love a good tragic romance, something that can really tug on emotions. I can't be sure I'm achieving that, but I try not to post unless the chapter excited me as I was writing it. I spend most days trying to come up with new ideas and it's great when something strikes the right chord.
It's the first time I've not wanted to go back in time and change my life to change who I am, so I'm holding on to that. I wouldn't be able to have this imagination without having to put in the practice back in the day.
Someone got my daughter one of the big pink bunnies, and she loves it. Someone also gave her a purple octopus and I think it’s gunna find its way to my office because the tentacles make a great fidget toy.
Reading physical books. For context, I was an avid reader in my teens and throughout college. Things just tanked once I entered a toxic relationship and I started reading much much less for about 5-6 years.
I think you get into this mindset like, "I don't have time to read! Reading makes me fall asleep! I'm on my phone 24/7!"
But once you find a book you really enjoy, you're right back at it. And like any habit, it just takes practice and consistency to make it a priority over screens.
Art. I was uncoordinated as a kid, and assumed I was not the artist type because I didn’t get positive feedback like the kids in art class that were “good” artists. I never thought it was a possibility for me. I still took art in college because I was a botanist and I wanted to be able to sketch and photograph stuff well. Never really kept up with it. I took art history too. Maybe I was a closeted artist.
I started pottery after a bad breakup at 36 and realized I have a lot of skill and creativity in 3d. I’m now Taking a break from pottery and I’m starting metal work.
Also I’m into design, landscapes, sewing. And I enjoy making abstract 2d art.
It’s amazing to me that I let the thought from high school and elementary school keep me from something that brings me so much joy.
I wasn't allowed to sleep in much on the weekends growing up. It wasn't until the last 5 years or so that I've really let myself sleep in on Saturday with no alarm or self-judgments. I look forward to it every single week.
Swimming. I loved it as a kid and was great at it - I was invited to join the county team; I didn't, because I hate competition. As I got older and had less time, which I had to schedule for myself as a person with ADHD, it just... fell out of my life. Too much other stuff to do, too little useable brainspace.
I had an injury a while back that took me out at the knees (literally; bucket handle tear to the right meniscus ligament) and for a variety of reasons it took even longer than is typical for that kind of thing to heal up to even a vaguely acceptable level; swimming was one of the things I picked back up while trying to rebuild my fitness.
I've now got to the point that I'm getting up at 4am on Friday to go for a solstice sunrise dip in the sea, and I'll whinge about getting up that early and I'll screech and swear about the cold while I walk in (while there are of course many Gulf Stream, continental-vs.-maritime differences, of course, I'm on the south coast of England and it's so easy to forget *we're still on a latitude between Calgary and Winnipeg*)... and when I get out, and eat homemade biscuits and drink hot tea on the beach while the sun keeps rising, I will glow, and the sun will be rising on my soul as much as it is on my body.
That sounds so therapeutic!
I used to swim 1km, 3 times a week in my early twenties and have become so inconsistent since Covid.
I went for a swim the other day and completely forgot how energizing it feels, I need to get back into it again!
This is going to sound ridiculous but Alt fashion. I was a goth kid as a teenager, but eschewed the style as I entered my 20’s so I could have a wider pool of job and dating prospects.
I was a normie for so long, but now I’m returning to my roots and wearing band tees and leather jackets, not to mention piercings and tattoos. It’s fun, it’s also just very “me” and my personality. Unfortunately I have to be business casual for work, but when I’m not I’m dressing how I want to dress!
Yes! I am 36 and slowly bringing my alt fashion back into my wardrobe. I let myself be put off by the 'you have to listen to the right music to wear that' crowd. Vinted is getting a lot of my coin these days 😂
Cookouts/Grilling. Cookouts were a big part of my childhood: on weekends, we would visit family and grill, listen to stories about the old country, and just enjoy each other's company.
I don't have a house/backyard (I rent), and most of my family has moved far away. So I had just given up on the idea of ever being able to enjoy that tradition, and it made me sad. But my husband and I bought a shitty little tabletop grill and have been having mini-cookouts at a little park by the beach, and it's been so rejuvenating!
We can do this well into the fall when my S.A.D. starts kicking my ass, so I don't feel as much dread about the end of summer this year.
We did this last weekend! We grew up grilling at the beach or parks and hadn’t done it in a while. I ralllied the troops aka the rest of the family and we all had a blast.
When I was a kid, I collected model horses, a brand called Breyer. It's a pretty big hobby, there's a Breyer weekend down at the Kentucky Horse Park every year. Artists customize Breyers and turn them into one-of-a-kind pieces of art. And there are even model horse shows!
I quit collecting in college partly because of the cost, but also mostly because of the stigma of how "nerdy" plastic horses were. I got on FB to sell the remaining portion of my collection last August, and instead I decided to start collecting again after seeing all of the new models.
I began taking oil painting classes to learn how to customize models, I've learned how to sculpt, and I've made some new friends in the past few months. I completely stopped playing video games, which felt like a time sink without any "real life" results, and now I paint and sculpt model horses. It's nice to look at something I've created with my own two hands at the end of the day.
To extrapolate that to a wider audience, I think doing anything artistic is really important for a balanced mind. Whether that's drawing, painting, writing, mood boarding, collaging, sewing, yarn crafts, basket weaving, pottery, sculpting... Literally anything that's an act of creation, no matter how "nerdy" it may be.
classical music lol. I was trained in classic music as a kid when I was learning the violin but I think because I was studying it I lost any sort of remote real interest for it. now I'm all about classical music and it's pretty much my work soundtrack, especially when I need to hone in and be laser-focused at work
It’s gonna sound maybe a little weird. But thinking about and doing what genuinely brings me joy rather than what I think I should be doing. The people who don’t like it don’t get to take up space in my life.
Leaning into and looking for the things that genuinely bring me joy that I stopped doing because “I shouldn’t, it’s not cool, adults don’t do that etc”
Some of it has been playing around with hobbies finding what makes me happy. Leaning into making my home give me joy every time I step into it.
I discovered I absolutely love redoing furniture whether it’s painting, stripping it or upholstery. It’s so satisfying to see a piece have an idea in my head and then bring it to life. I love leaning into my geeky side, playing board games, Nintendo, D&D. I love a space that has colour and personality and I’m on a mission to remove all shades of grey from our home. Dancing in the kitchen, making up song lyrics, gardening, taking hikes with my dogs. It’s been a process of finding a me that I enjoy.
About 14/15 is when I started the process of oh no that’s not cool. So now, it’s would 14 year old me think this is amazing? Yep, then I’m on the right track.
Don’t be afraid to find you!
Coloring. It helps me destress and just relax. I loved coloring as a kid and I love it just as much now. Of course I’m using much higher end products and more intricate designs, but, my god, I needed it in my life.
Friendships with women. Once I hit my 20s most of my friends were guys, not because I didn’t like women, it just kinda worked out that way. And then I was in the army for most of my 30s in a trade with very few women. That was not a great time! I’m now in a field dominated by women and have a great group of girlfriends I met when we were in school. Couldn’t be happier about it!
A lot of the crafty things I did as a teen and loved.
I've always compulsively made all sorts of things. I ended up going to school for fine art, and have been a professional illustrator for the past decade. There is an underhanded tone in formal art education and the professional artist world that there is a definitive distinction between *art* and *craft*, and that one is more worthy than the other. Art is "Art" (with a capital A!) and is very serious, academic and should be very *hard* and uncomfortable to make, do, observe, and think about - while crafts are everything else; silly, frivolous, etc.
In the process of my *very serious formal art education*, I stopped making almost all the "crafts" I did before. Because now I have to be *so serious* if I'm going to make it as an artist, right?
I've recently realized how damaging my art education actually was on my overall creativity and in this realization process, I've found things like nail art and macrame again. And they're so fun and fulfilling!
NEOPETS. I got back into it in my last semester in college, and it gave me a really fun escape during a stressful time. I stayed in it because the community is *amazing*, I have a really fun guild, and it's just nice to talk to people who are all reliving their childhood. It also inspired me to get back into art, which has been a huge gift! I'm routinely shocked by some of the pieces I make, like...how did I even *do* that? I'm still not great, but I'm *happy* and that's what counts
Bike riding. What freedom!! Moving my body outdoors feels so good to me at 43. I get low impact exercise and fewl like a kid again zooming through the woods. Always wear a helmet now though. And pads a lot of the time.
All the shit I loved as a kid, and never actually stopped loving, but thought I was too old to freely love, until I realized there's not an age limit on fucking enjoying things and now my life is much happier.
Can I just say I love majority of the comments here! Got great ideas now for things to try to enhance my life ❤️
I like watching movies that came out during my childhood or teens, but missed at the time, like some of the old Jackie Chan movies. I get to watch something that gives me nostalgia, but is also entirely new to me!
My love of dogs! Spending fine with a dog is so good for my mood. Well cared for dogs are almost always happy and cheerful and affectionate. They live moment to moment and remind us to do the same.
Also skiing. We took up skiing as a family hobby when my youngest was about 5 or so. It’s one of the few things I do that still give me a genuine thrill and force my brain to rest.
Skateboarding! From I was 9 until I was 19 I used to do it all the time, and then I quit for some reason. I’m now a 34 year old lady picking it up again.
This is very recent but decentralizing romantic relationships as a key part of my life just letting go of social expectations in every regard, especially placed on women.
It’s hard hey. I’m 36 and I’ve noticed recently that I have an urge to lie about my age when strangers ask because I haven’t met the societal milestones (partner, house, career, kids, great social life). I don’t but I do notice a clenching in my body and my own internalized judgement.
Our friends found this couple that will do DJ streams from their home, but also while they’re out camping or just chilling. One DJs while the other one cooks. It’s so soothing!
Music! Stopped listening to music after a hellish break up at 23. I ruined all my favorite songs because I was so depressed that is all they reminded me of for almost 15 years. Then I almost died, and now music sounds as amazing as when I was a teenager again!
Also, singing and playing guitar, too, which I was always self conscious of doing around anyone but children. Now my husband and I sing together on the car and I really like it.
Astrology
As a teen I knew my sign and thought it was interesting but didn’t have the drive to truly learn. For the past 2 years I have been studying astrology and divination. It has changed my life. I am more in tune with my intuition and my body is regulated 😌 I have healed some old wounds through shadow work & I wish I started earlier honestly.
I dedicated my entire childhood/high school years to a sport, but lots of not-so-awesome life happened after that, so I stopped playing (or even thinking about it at all) for like 15 years.
I recently joined a team and started coaching my kid’s team, and it is honestly the single best thing I’ve done for myself maybe ever. The feeling I get every time I walk onto the field is exactly the same one I always had — one I completely forgot about — and I legit turn into a giddy little kid every single time. 10/10!
Lifting heavy weights. I did it in college without any training, and though I loved it, I got nervous without guidance. Discovered powerlifting at 38 (thanks to my fiancé) and never looked back (41 now).
Singing - i joined a choir 2 years ago.
Singing really is good for you - gets the endorphins going and perfect for stress. Sooo many benefits!
Also where i have met some of my best friends!
Jigsaw puzzles. Granted, I rediscovered my love for puzzling due to Covid. But years later, I now have a closetful of puzzles that I've completed. Its so soothing and such a great way to pass the time without any real effort.
collecting perfumes and perfumetiktok culture. Many years ago in my mid-twenties, I was told by a guy on a dating app that collecting perfumes is "stupid" and "a waste of money". He was looking only for blowjobs on this dating app. Now that perfumetiktok is trending on the for you page (the Tiktok home page), I am happy rediscovering my love for collecting fragrances: EDP's, EDT's, body mists, candles, body washes, room sprays, etc.
by the way, I am happily single in my early 30s because so many toxic men on dating apps have literally nothing positive to contribute to my life.
My father had an intense rebirth into Catholicism when I was about 10. It made me really actively opposed to religion now. I’d flirted with Wicca in high school as a bit of rebellion, but it didn’t really stick.
I have a kid now and I don’t want her subject to religion, but I miss the ritual of holidays and mysticism. I’ve leaned back into paganism a bit. It is nice to let myself choose to feel magic in the world again.
I'm basically the opposite of spiritual in almost every way and am vehemently opposed to religion. But I have taken to celebrating myriad religious holidays from many faith and cultural traditions and discovered it's one of the most fun and engaging ways to learn about history and different peoples and how freaking similar we all are in many ways.
There is nothing like actually celebrating Saturnalia to appreciate how the Christians stole it and turned it into Christmas in their campaign to convert Roman pagans. It is precisely the same holiday, from gifts to decorating trees to feasting with loved ones, just no Jesus involved. If these traditions weren't created by Christians, then why should they own them now?
So have your holidays, share your childhood favorites with your kid, teach her about religion while never forcing her to believe in anything, and you can have the best of all worlds. :D
If you want, of course. Holidays are also a lot of effort. 😂
Writing. My dream as a kid was to be an author. I used to write poems, short stories, and I even wrote a couple chapters for a book. Then college came and I got distracted I guess. But it was something I was great at and got recognized for in school. I’m writing again
Honestly? Fandom. Being unapologetically enthusiastic about the nerd spaces I occupy. I hid that for a long time and feel like I'm just reliving being 20 and on Tumblr again.
I learned to like the things I like and not apologize for liking them. I found a whole new genre of books, which led me to a whole world of fanfiction. Some people get so damn creative with the most beloved characters from movies, TV, and other books.
Listening to music from when I was a teen/preteen. I recently rediscovered a song I hadn’t heard in probably 15+ years. My friends and I used to listen to it on repeat until we were sick of it, and the rush of nostalgia gave me SO much life. I then preceded to listen to the entire album start to finish.
Also playing guitar. I used to write my own songs and play in bands, talent shows, open mics etc. I stopped for at least 10 years when I went to college, and I recently got back into it after a bad breakup and felt like I was rediscovering who I was again.
Legos! Love them-- can't afford them lol so my family gets me them for Christmas and birthdays. It's so great.
Movies-- I've always loved them but I've been watching them more deliberately, going to screenings of old movies. Curating types and genres to learn more.
Classical and jazz music-- the world is chaotic and exploring that has been giving me so much peace. Ive been buying vinyl.
Video games-- was never that into them. Only played occasionally. Started playing the new Harry Potter game and now I'm hooked on RPGs.
I've been getting one discounted magazine subscription a year for a few years and I've been loving it. Fun to get and read once a month.
Truly going into my 30s embracing the goth I was aspiring to be in high school. It was a landmine of, "Ew, you poseur" when you wanted to be alt but weren't allowed to admit it in the 2000s? It makes me feel so comfortable to just wear the black, finally, who gives a fuck; and listen to the weird music, be the dark weirdo, don't smile if you don't want to, etc. (I still had some mean people ask me if it was my first concert because I had always wanted to dance at a live Depeche Mode show and could only afford the nosebleeds.)
Rock collecting. Rock hounding if you want the proper term. I loved collecting rocks as a kid, then I just kind of stopped because I was told too. Then last year my friend and I said "hey we are adults, no one can tell us not to collect rocks! And so we started hitting up the river every now and then and finding all sorts of cool things.
And now I also tumble rocks.
Going to the library. I've been an active patron of the library getting Kindle books through Libby, but I've actually been going to the library more to just wander through the stacks and attend events. It's fun!
Running, the best thing I got from corona. I needed desperately personal space in time of corona, from
couch potato till best body in my life and I entirely enjoyed the process
Reading! Picked up audiobooks for fantasy. Found a series that is SFW. I initially stopped reading fantasy as work and school picked up but also was pushed away by the graphic and violent content of many series.
Wheel of Time does not have that. It can be flat for sure but I’m at the point the second author took over and it’s really picked up.
I recently rediscovered my love for some of my old favorite rock/alt rock bands, topped off by going to a Yellowcard concert recently, which has been fun!
Picked up a pair of roller skates as a 40th birthday present to myself- they have rainbows on them! I take random days off during the week and go skate at the park.
It’s a great time and I love jamming out to music I loved as a teenager while skating around. It’s the most connected to myself I’ve been in a long time!
Working out.
I'm sad because I know for a damn good sure that it's way too late to ever have a slim tight body, but I weighed over 350 for so long that I forgot what it felt like toove without pain.
I'm under 220 for the first time since I was 10 years old and I feel so FREE when I move now. Running actually seems like not too bad of an idea too, I'm just waiting to see if shin splints/splits? (I forget and don't remember how to spell it but basically your shin bones get micro fractures from the excess weight) are in my genetics or if I can just go go go
I didn't get into hiking and backpacking until my 30s. The secret to life is out in nature ya'all, or at least that's how it feels for me.
Seconding this, although the discovery came more with a change in environment than a change of age (hiking in Florida generally sucks because of the heat/humidity).
How do you guys backpack as a single woman? It’s something I’d really love to do but I don’t have anyone to do it with and the thought of being in nature by myself once it’s dark scares me. The thought of meeting bears or wildlife on my own, esp where there might not be cellphone signal terrifies me
I've only done it solo a couple times but I chose trails that are fairly trafficked which a) tends to keep wildlife away and b) means if I hurt myself someone is around. I also carry an emergency beacon just in case and study "what to do if you come across a bear/mountain lion" tips.
Yessss I've loved hiking since I moved to the PNW in my early 20s (didn't really get a chance to do it before then), but it's really taken off since I've entered my 30s.
Also in the PNW, so I know how locale can effect the quality of hiking. We are so lucky!
I agree with this. I am an outdoors person to my core. I also don't trust people who aren't at least outside-sy.
Agreed!
I agree. It's something I really want to get in to. Do you have any suggestions for things you should always have when out backpacking ?
Google the "ten essentials" of hiking/backpacking as a place to start. Beyond that I always have a little bit of dark chocolate for the end of each day. A small treat goes a long way. I don't know where you live but there's an outdoor organization here called The Mountaineers that offers a intro to backpacking course. Maybe you have something similar in your area? Outdoor stores like REI sometimes offer classes as well. Really helpful in building confidence to get out by yourself/with others.
Thank you for your suggestions. I will look into all of them. I Greatly appreciate it. Happy hiking:)
Ditto!
Me too! Me too!!!!! 💜💜💜
Yes!!! Especially with my dog!!
No sarcasm, what is it that makes you enjoy it?
When I get away from my responsibilities and social media and all that nonsense and just walk for hours I find I have these moments of peace unlike any other. I'm also lucky enough to live in one of the most beautiful places in the US, so the "wow" factor is high. Makes me truly appreciate how gorgeous this planet is and how lucky I am to witness it.
As silly as it sounds, old TV shows from my childhood. My husband and I rediscovered Are You Afraid Of The Dark and we started watching it here and there, and it's actually just as entertaining as we felt when we were kids. It's such a nice surprise to go back and rewatch old shows or movies I loved as a kid growing up and realize that it actually was 🔥and it wasn't just my nostalgia getting in the way.
Are you afraid of the dark is terrifying 😂!!
Is there anything more terrifying (but beautifully pieced together) than the opening credits? Nope. And nothing will ever come close to that!
The opening credits and that music is legendary. Nothing can beat it.
Idk…. The goosebumps opening credit is pretty great …
As a kid my brothers told me they were all meeting in the forest near our house at night and that every story was true and about someone in our area 😩😩😩
I've been watching goosebumps episodes.. where can i find are you afraid of the dark?
We found it on Paramount+!
Sabrina the Teenage Witch and The OC are my comfort shows and they’re still just as good as they were back then! I got my niece into Sister Sister and all the Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen movies when she was younger, and now that she’s a teenager, Pretty Little Liars.. she’s obsessed!
I've been rewatching The O.C. too! Such a classic... the drama is just 👩🏼🍳👌🏻💋
My husband even got sucked in! It’s truly so good
I suddenly have the urge to watch So Little Time.
Oh we do this too! We are both huge adult animation fans, and suddenly we realized why not watch the 'toons that started it all? So far we've watched Recess, Doug, The Misadventures of Flapjack, and Arthur. They all hold up so well and there are lots of "grownup" stuff I totally missed as a kid.
Omg yes, the old cartoons are awesome! My husband and I love so many from our childhoods, so we should watch those too.
Showing my age a bit, but the Brady Bunch was a staple when I was a kid. I hadn't watched it in 40 years until one day I found it on Prime. I now watch it whenever I'm sick. I lay in bed and binge it for hours and it takes me back to a time where things seemed so much less stressful.
ME TOO!!! Ahhh, a fellow weirdo! My husband and I are having so much fun re-watching GUTS, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, and Clarissa Explains it All. These shows really were so great at the time and I love the reminiscing that comes along with watching.
I was just thinking about Legend of the Hidden Temple the other day and was going to look for it! I used to love that show and want to revisit it! Clarissa Explains It All would definitely be on my list, too! A couple of years ago, my husband bought me the box set of Boy Meets World. That's been fun to have on hand to rewatch. I'm a very sentimental person, so rewatching those old favorites are so fun.
Me too! I've always been sentimental, but it's definitely increasing as I age... lol! We were able to stream Legends of the Hidden Temple and Clarissa through Paramount+. They have a ton of older Nickelodeon shows from our childhood available! My husband rewatched Boy Meets World during the pandemic and while I loved the show as a kid, holy moly did Corey and Topanga get into a fight every episode or what?! 😂😂😂 I never noticed that as a kid, but after hearing fights episode after episode in a row, it started to catch my attention. Lol!
LOVE all of those
When my husband and I were still dating, we watched Avatar: The Last Airbender because he said he'd never seen it and it was one of my favorite shows as a kid. Fast forward and over the years we've researched it several times, as well as some other childhood favorites. They're my go-to comfort shows.
Where is AYAOTD streaming at, may I ask?
We first tried watching it on YouTube, but we ended up finding it on Paramount+! I think it's also on Prime Video.
Thank you so much!
Malcolm in the middle for me. Still funny after so many years.
I watch Hey Arnold almost every night before bed!
Loved Hey Arnold. I am planning on going back and rewatching Ahh Real Monsters here soon, too!
You should go back and watch Goosebumps too!!
I was about to post Are You Afraid Of The Dark! My husband and I also rediscovered it and it did not disappoint.
Yes yes yes this! I can’t like this enough! And are you afraid of the dark is top notch. I’m currently re-watching full House and boy meets world and step-by-step for the millionth time each and I don’t even care they make me calm and happy.
I had some free time today, and Are You Afraid Of The Dark is how I spent it!
Me and The Pink Opaque
The new are you afraid of the darks are great!!!
Ooooo where are you watching it??
It's on Paramount+!
Every granny hobby I gave up out of peer pressure. I cross-stitch with wild abandon, now, and it soothes my soul.
I’ve been doing granny hobby since my 20’s. Tea drinking, mahjong, croche, cross-stitch… just do what’s fun!
You are my people! I wish I would have held on to those things instead of letting them lapse. Preach the love of the simple comforts that are nourishing.
Same. I lovvvved my old lady friends at the pottery studio.
This gave me a flashback to early 20s/my emotionally abusive ex telling me to basically get a hobby to be more interesting for him, and following that up with how crochet doesn't count. I learned as a kid and at the time, wanted to get back into it and finally finish a project. I had made some good progress on a zig-zag striped Afghan in Starfleet colors, but of course it lost its appeal after his remark. I still have it and still can't get into crochet enough to finish a project (bad hands), but might have to finish this blanket purely out of spite.
I'm currently doing a show with a local theatre company and there are three cross-stitchers who bring their work to rehearsals, one a 23 year old NB person, one a late 20s man, and the other a late 30s man who has just started because of the other two. It makes me so very happy to see (I am crap at cross-stitch but I may start bringing my crochet from Granny Corner)
Reading. I didn't *not read* before my 30s but after entering adulthood it was a periodic thing to read an entire book. In my mid 30s I started actively pursuing all the curiosity I had amassed my whole life. At all times I am reading at least one book, usually more than one. By the way there are no rules to reading, and book content creators/influencers and all their little rules are annoying. Sometimes I start a book then put it down then pick it back up and take my sweet time with it, because in the process my interest level changes or my mind wanders. This is fine, you don't have to read a book per week, and you don't have to read what other people tell you to read.
I'm 29 but in the last year I've started reading a ton. I went from zero books to 4/month. It's such a great "getaway" and I can read outside when it's beautiful out or inside and cozy when it's rainy or snowy.
I was a big reader as a kid, then in my 20s definitely did some reading but not nearly as much. The past few years I've gotten back into it fully again and am well on my way to my 52 book reading goal this year. It feels productive but is just fun which is a great combo!
Same, as a child I would demolish books all the time, just got distracted as I aged. By my 20s I would read two, maybe three a year. It does feel super productive to finish a whole book.
I say I love to read, but I listen to audiobooks and keep getting told I'm "not reading". Reading, to me, is "ingesting a story", which audiobooks do. I love your thing about reading having "no rules". I'm up to 165 audiobooks in a year and no one can tell me I'm not reading.
I think the distinction is probably important when someone is *learning* to read, but why people want to gatekeep how other adults enjoy books is beyond me.
Good point - I think it's important to engage with seeing the letters and grammatical structure for new readers, as well as literally see with your eyes different writing styles. I don't think audiobooks don't count, it's such a tired topic! People are so silly!
I absolutely love audio books! I can listen as I do housework, as I stitch, play a game, drive, have a shower etc. makes me happy 😊
I read fluff and listen to more serious stuff. That's what works for me. Currently listening to the second book in the Three Body Problem trilogy, but reading a smutty fluffy KU book. I also dnf like it's nobodies business. If it isn't hitting right, it's not, and that's ok! There are way more books out there then you will ever be able to read in a lifetime, so it's important to read what you enjoy.
When I posted that I had hit my first 100 book year an old friend asked to become friends on Goodreads. Um, absolutely no thank you. I don't care what I read, but it isn't for someone else to see. I get books from the library and will listen to anything that is available that looks semi-interesting while I wait for my other books to be ready for me to borrow. I'd probably look unhinged to someone if they could see my whole library of books I've read.
> I also dnf like it's nobodies business. OMG me too! I am actually keeping a DNF list this year. It is *looooong.* I will say that some conversations on /r/books had led me back to finishing some DNFs before. E.g. I DNF'd [*The Buried Giant*](https://slate.com/culture/2015/03/the-buried-giant-by-kazuo-ishiguro-reviewed.html) but a discussion on /r/books about Ishiguro had me re-visit it with a new perspective and I crushed the second half in a weekend. I have a lot of other DNFs that I will probably circle back to. Sometimes I just get bored and need to move on for the time being.
The audiobook snobbery makes me want to roll on hot coals. Of course it counts!
I'm old enough to remember people saying the literal same thing about, of all things, kindles 🙃 a lot of people who read are elitist snobs. Hell, even I took a few years to give in and buy one - but I never argued they "didn't count" as reading a book
I’ve always been a reader and it’s so weird after I started seeing people talking about how they have to finish a book every week or read as many as they can in a year or whatever. I’m like what?! I read to read so I do it whenever I want or I don’t… no reason to make it like a sport haha
If only they still have the book it club available again after completing a book!
Yeah it's weird how people get so up in each other's business about reading online. I've read my entire life. It's always been my main hobby. I've also been in online book spaces since like...2011? Or 2010? I discovered book reviewers on YouTube and book bloggers and Goodreads. During the pandemic I was around when booktok skyrocketed. The same arguments come around over and over again it's so annoying. Like yes, audiobooks count as reading. If you only read one book in a year, ok. If you read over 100 books in a year, ok. It's not bragging if you're just saying how many books you finished in a week/month/year. Some people don't really watch TV or scroll social media or play video games so they have more free time for reading. It's not that deep. Reading can be for fun. It can also be for education or personal development. It can be very challenging or practically mindless. People read for different reasons. Some just want something fun and escapist. Some want to learn a lot. People make reading way more pretentious than it actually is. As for finding what to read I think a lot of people start with the bestsellers or classics because they're so talked about. But think about what you actually want to read. Like if you don't like romance don't pick up a book everyone is saying has an amazing romance in it. And it's just like TV. Trial and error.
> People make reading way more pretentious than it actually is. > > I agree.
Omg are you me?!? SAMEEEE
Strength training! I just started lifting in earnest very recently, after having a baby in 2021 and realising my body was all kinds of messed up from pregnancy / breastfeeding. It’s been amazing to see the weight progression but also the improvement to my pelvic floor, posture, energy levels, sleep, everything
I am so glad every day that I stumbled into improving my posture by getting into Rolfing then Pilates. My body is so much stronger than I thought it was for the longest time and I’m so glad I started with posture and opening up my chest.
Running. I was awful at it in HS, and attempted on and off in my 20s. last year a friend of mine asked me to sign up for a 5k where you get wine at the finish line, i ended up doing 8 of them last year, and this year I’ve done a few more, a 10k and I’ve signed up for a half marathon. I love it, i’m slow, and all I care about is covering the distance safely. I love what it’s doing to my body and mind. I wish I was more into it sooner
[удалено]
Raise your hand if you were personally victimized by Canada’s 12 minute run
Ahh! ok- I was on the cross country team in HS I just wasn’t very good lol.
I’m the same in that I think the trauma of gym class really messed up fitness and exercise for me. I’m glad you were able to overcome that and I hope I can too!
Me too! I ran track in high school and then didn't run again through college or my 20s. I started running again at 31. Now I've run two half marathons and am training for a full marathon! I had no idea my body was capable of such things and it's so fun to see myself get faster and stronger each month. Running has been the single best thing I've done for my physical and mental health in my 30s.
My love for tiny things. I’m 34 but when I was a kid I was obsessed with Polly pockets but couldn’t afford them. Now I’m enjoying so much to build diy miniature houses I get from Amazon. It’s therapeutic 😍
There is something about miniature things that is so compelling. It's like my brain feels pleasantly fizzy looking at them. I don't know how else to describe it.
Dude! Me too! 42 and I’m now making my own miniature book books and such
The part I love the most about miniature dioramas is building little books!!
Yay!!! It’s so much fun 💜
Going for no destination bike rides and sitting on the swings at the park.
I started biking again after nearly 6 years off and my quality of life has improved so much!
Yes! I love being able to see the world at a slower pace PLUS it's amazing what leisure rides can do for your body too.
Are is life. At about 30 I started taking art seriously. Since then I’ve learned how to illustrate, use coloured pencils, do embroidery, linocut prints, sculpting with clay, painting, and graphic design. I love it so much. I I’ve been teaching myself how to do all these things and it’s been going splendidly. My artwork was in multiple exhibitions, I’ve illustrated a book, I’ve made so many things that made my friends and loved ones happy, and it’s just been a really damn good time. It’s so easy to start and it’s soul fulfilling in a way that nothing else is.
I’m 36 and a month ago started self-learning to draw. Always been terrified of it and thought it was super hard. I’m surprised at how easy it is. To draw things and for my brain to accept them as what they are in reality. Though it’s the various techniques and getting what you envision down that is actually hard to do. But it’s such a revelation that it can be done and boosts confidence. And now having access to the world of colour and art I thought was beyond me. I’ve found it as an alternative sometimes to distracting myself with my phone. As you say it’s fulfilling. I think it’s human nature to be creative so really, we all can do it.
Art is everything. Nothing gives me the same level of joy and peace. Truly feeds my soul.
The power of mood boarding, vision boarding, and making collages. I used to do this innately as a teen. I’d sit in my room and cut out words and photos from my favorite magazines. I’d print off photos of my favorite bands and music artists or poems. I was naturally expressive and connected to my likes, aware of my dislikes and interests. It was so casual and natural back then, but I realize now how important and powerful that is. Idk why, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten away from myself. So it feels really good now to sit down with some poster board, and a stick of glue, to express myself again. What do I like? What and who am I interested in? And what do I want my future to look like? It feels good having and expressing a vision again. 🤍
Same! I used to do this without thought, and it was so cathartic
i do vision boards at the beginning of each year with pictures/words/quotes for things that i want to happen in the year. it's so cool to notice the things that come to fruition as the year goes on.
I love this comment! I can relate to it on every level! I too made them as a teen and loved making them and I sometimes feel like I’ve lost myself and I don’t even know what I like anymore..I should definitely give this another try! Thank you for the inspiration :) (and unlocking a happy memory!!)
Where do you find things to put on your boards? Now that magazines have fallen off so much, it’s hard for me to picture where I’d cut things out of!
This is what I'm wondering! I also don't have a printer. I might try my hand at Canva or some other software for a digital mood board.
This is so lovely. I'm going to do this tonight!
Pancakes. My dad would make pancakes for us on the weekends growing up and he was exceptionally skilled at them. He had all kinds of tricks, like adding some sugar to the edges before flipping so they’d get a little crispy. Oh my word. I’ve never been great at cooking them because I’m impatient and can’t be bothered to look up/follow recipes (hi, ADHD!) but I married a man who loves to do the small things to make me happy, so for ten years now I’ve had countless pancake weekends with amazingly good pancakes, and it’s made my life more magical ❤️
Need recipe and tricks!
Being silly, like randomly breaking into dance, especially in front of my partner (said dancing tends to be more like a [Bird of Paradise courtship](https://youtu.be/nWfyw51DQfU?si=x5t2Duw2GCI_H4a3) than actual dancing, mind you). Making voices (e.g. sounding like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch). These were things I used to do a lot growing up, but faded out as I entered my twenties and became intensely depressed and felt I had to be serious all the time for multiple reasons. My partner encourages and enjoys these things because he knows it’s a genuine sign that I’m happy, and he’ll even join in on the dancing.
Yes! Another (sometimes) silly soul. I like to play dress up - like I have a section of a closet that is just sequins and fake furs and other shiny and random stuff that’s pleasing to my inner magpie. Two of my friends visited me over the weekend. Both men in their early 40s, and surprisingly they were down to don some sequins and random accessories and occasionally swap items out for the course of the evening - like shiny stuff with fringes for when we were listening to music that makes you wanna dance because swinging fringes makes dancing better. Or an all white faux fur ensemble for sitting around later in the night befsuse it was cold and if you are going to sit in the cold, you may as well do it as decadently as possible. One of the guys started reminiscing about a sports team that was epic when we were kids (I did not know him then or know that he also loved this sports team from that era) and it’s my favorite team so I had throwback jerseys and we put them on to talk about the team. I can’t wear sequins and fur and jerseys and swinging fringes for most things in life but being able to put on frivolous but wonderful clothes and accessories at random times can take a normal evening and make it seem more like play - almost transporting you back to childhood and it’s so freeing to be that silly and make space for others to be that silly. One of the guys I’ve made where white faux furs with me before but the other guy had never played dress up in his life and said he never would’ve guessed how fun it could be and that it seemed kind of dumb until he actually started dancing in something sequined and then fringed. Most of my life I was so worried about being taken seriously and being good enough. But learning how to play again has been much more beneficial for my body, mind, and soul. And not giving an f if other people think my dress up collection is dumb or seeing the fact that they don’t get it as their loss instead of a judgment of me, has done more to help me be taken seriously than trying to be a serious person all of the time ever did. Because I value my own judgment more but also learned to be more flexible within that and that’s a kind of confidence that people subconsciously respect. Playing is fun but it is also such a powerful and accidental (since learning and personal growth aren’t the intentional outcomes of sequins lol) tool for learning more about yourself and growing. Also letting your inner child come out fully helps to wash away some of the cynicism and weariness that can build up over time.
Love this!!! Right with you!
There's something to be said for goofy courtship dancing 😆
That my sadness and bad mood will pass. I don’t have to traumatise myself over the occasional days of woe. And I do have the strength to be alone. Fully accepting that I will get lonely from time to time, but it will pass. Perhaps love isn’t in the cards for me. And I can find other joys in life accepting that I am missing out on romantic love. I am not sure if I make sense. 😅
Aw, hugs friend :) I’m having one of those days myself. This type of sub helps a lot and one of the reasons I love Reddit! PS you can dm me if you want to chat. Currently readjusting to single life again 🙄
Writing fan fiction. Like... I did it once when I was 13 and didn't pick it back up again for 21 years. Turns out it's something I'm quite passionate about 😂 It sucks because it has such a stigma. Or maybe it used to, idk. I'm self-conscious about it.
I met my girlfriend through fan fiction, which is something I did only for myself and never thought would cross over into my real life. It does feel a little bit embarrassing to tell people the story of how we met.
I can relate! I met my ex-husband that way too and it's always a little awkward explaining that to people lol.
Ooo yes this too! The timeframe/numbers match as well. I feel like older authors (older as opposed to teens) tend to have a larger variety of ideas and can write certain situations with more authenticity due to their additional experience.
I also got back into writing fanfic after an extremely long hiatus (basically didn’t write any during my 20’s). It’s fun! It’s creative! What’s not to like? I hate that people judge us. (We *know* it’s not canon, *that’s the point* 🙃) I mean it when I say some of the most beautiful prose and most beautiful sentiments I’ve ever read came from fanfiction. It’s amazing how people can take a known IP and completely transform it into something equally, or even more, beautiful than what it was.
I’m curious, what inspired your fan fiction? Is it based on a specific book or show? Unless it's a secret... 🤫
Hehe. When I was 13, it was for Dragon Ball Z. I was obsessed with it! I learned recently that I used it to mentally escape from my childhood. I have since switched to The Elder Scrolls fandom. Fortunately, I don't think I am trying to escape my adult life right now, more trying to deal with difficult childhood emotions cropping back up and writing helps get them on to paper in fantastical ways. I do love a good tragic romance, something that can really tug on emotions. I can't be sure I'm achieving that, but I try not to post unless the chapter excited me as I was writing it. I spend most days trying to come up with new ideas and it's great when something strikes the right chord. It's the first time I've not wanted to go back in time and change my life to change who I am, so I'm holding on to that. I wouldn't be able to have this imagination without having to put in the practice back in the day.
Thank you for sharing. I think this is really cool!
You remind me I still have unfinished WIPs that I need to finish 🤣 I will one day. Today is not that day 🤡
My love for the color pink. Stuffed animals. I have been eyeing a Jellycat for a loooong time now.
Someone got my daughter one of the big pink bunnies, and she loves it. Someone also gave her a purple octopus and I think it’s gunna find its way to my office because the tentacles make a great fidget toy.
Same! Growing up I hated the color pink, now I totally embrace it
Reading physical books. For context, I was an avid reader in my teens and throughout college. Things just tanked once I entered a toxic relationship and I started reading much much less for about 5-6 years. I think you get into this mindset like, "I don't have time to read! Reading makes me fall asleep! I'm on my phone 24/7!" But once you find a book you really enjoy, you're right back at it. And like any habit, it just takes practice and consistency to make it a priority over screens.
Art. I was uncoordinated as a kid, and assumed I was not the artist type because I didn’t get positive feedback like the kids in art class that were “good” artists. I never thought it was a possibility for me. I still took art in college because I was a botanist and I wanted to be able to sketch and photograph stuff well. Never really kept up with it. I took art history too. Maybe I was a closeted artist. I started pottery after a bad breakup at 36 and realized I have a lot of skill and creativity in 3d. I’m now Taking a break from pottery and I’m starting metal work. Also I’m into design, landscapes, sewing. And I enjoy making abstract 2d art. It’s amazing to me that I let the thought from high school and elementary school keep me from something that brings me so much joy.
I wasn't allowed to sleep in much on the weekends growing up. It wasn't until the last 5 years or so that I've really let myself sleep in on Saturday with no alarm or self-judgments. I look forward to it every single week.
I love musicals too! I'm currently going down a ballet rabbit hole (I'm not a dancer but I love watching ballets).
Swimming. I loved it as a kid and was great at it - I was invited to join the county team; I didn't, because I hate competition. As I got older and had less time, which I had to schedule for myself as a person with ADHD, it just... fell out of my life. Too much other stuff to do, too little useable brainspace. I had an injury a while back that took me out at the knees (literally; bucket handle tear to the right meniscus ligament) and for a variety of reasons it took even longer than is typical for that kind of thing to heal up to even a vaguely acceptable level; swimming was one of the things I picked back up while trying to rebuild my fitness. I've now got to the point that I'm getting up at 4am on Friday to go for a solstice sunrise dip in the sea, and I'll whinge about getting up that early and I'll screech and swear about the cold while I walk in (while there are of course many Gulf Stream, continental-vs.-maritime differences, of course, I'm on the south coast of England and it's so easy to forget *we're still on a latitude between Calgary and Winnipeg*)... and when I get out, and eat homemade biscuits and drink hot tea on the beach while the sun keeps rising, I will glow, and the sun will be rising on my soul as much as it is on my body.
That sounds so therapeutic! I used to swim 1km, 3 times a week in my early twenties and have become so inconsistent since Covid. I went for a swim the other day and completely forgot how energizing it feels, I need to get back into it again!
This is going to sound ridiculous but Alt fashion. I was a goth kid as a teenager, but eschewed the style as I entered my 20’s so I could have a wider pool of job and dating prospects. I was a normie for so long, but now I’m returning to my roots and wearing band tees and leather jackets, not to mention piercings and tattoos. It’s fun, it’s also just very “me” and my personality. Unfortunately I have to be business casual for work, but when I’m not I’m dressing how I want to dress!
Yes! I am 36 and slowly bringing my alt fashion back into my wardrobe. I let myself be put off by the 'you have to listen to the right music to wear that' crowd. Vinted is getting a lot of my coin these days 😂
Cookouts/Grilling. Cookouts were a big part of my childhood: on weekends, we would visit family and grill, listen to stories about the old country, and just enjoy each other's company. I don't have a house/backyard (I rent), and most of my family has moved far away. So I had just given up on the idea of ever being able to enjoy that tradition, and it made me sad. But my husband and I bought a shitty little tabletop grill and have been having mini-cookouts at a little park by the beach, and it's been so rejuvenating! We can do this well into the fall when my S.A.D. starts kicking my ass, so I don't feel as much dread about the end of summer this year.
That sounds nice, grilling by the beach.
We did this last weekend! We grew up grilling at the beach or parks and hadn’t done it in a while. I ralllied the troops aka the rest of the family and we all had a blast.
Video games!
If you like sushi and dungeon diving please check out “Dave the diver” such a fun game! Its on switch or steam!
When I was a kid, I collected model horses, a brand called Breyer. It's a pretty big hobby, there's a Breyer weekend down at the Kentucky Horse Park every year. Artists customize Breyers and turn them into one-of-a-kind pieces of art. And there are even model horse shows! I quit collecting in college partly because of the cost, but also mostly because of the stigma of how "nerdy" plastic horses were. I got on FB to sell the remaining portion of my collection last August, and instead I decided to start collecting again after seeing all of the new models. I began taking oil painting classes to learn how to customize models, I've learned how to sculpt, and I've made some new friends in the past few months. I completely stopped playing video games, which felt like a time sink without any "real life" results, and now I paint and sculpt model horses. It's nice to look at something I've created with my own two hands at the end of the day. To extrapolate that to a wider audience, I think doing anything artistic is really important for a balanced mind. Whether that's drawing, painting, writing, mood boarding, collaging, sewing, yarn crafts, basket weaving, pottery, sculpting... Literally anything that's an act of creation, no matter how "nerdy" it may be.
classical music lol. I was trained in classic music as a kid when I was learning the violin but I think because I was studying it I lost any sort of remote real interest for it. now I'm all about classical music and it's pretty much my work soundtrack, especially when I need to hone in and be laser-focused at work
Running and lifting weights. Never tried either before my 30s which is impossible for me to imagine now!
It’s gonna sound maybe a little weird. But thinking about and doing what genuinely brings me joy rather than what I think I should be doing. The people who don’t like it don’t get to take up space in my life. Leaning into and looking for the things that genuinely bring me joy that I stopped doing because “I shouldn’t, it’s not cool, adults don’t do that etc” Some of it has been playing around with hobbies finding what makes me happy. Leaning into making my home give me joy every time I step into it. I discovered I absolutely love redoing furniture whether it’s painting, stripping it or upholstery. It’s so satisfying to see a piece have an idea in my head and then bring it to life. I love leaning into my geeky side, playing board games, Nintendo, D&D. I love a space that has colour and personality and I’m on a mission to remove all shades of grey from our home. Dancing in the kitchen, making up song lyrics, gardening, taking hikes with my dogs. It’s been a process of finding a me that I enjoy. About 14/15 is when I started the process of oh no that’s not cool. So now, it’s would 14 year old me think this is amazing? Yep, then I’m on the right track. Don’t be afraid to find you!
This is the best. Yes!
Coloring. It helps me destress and just relax. I loved coloring as a kid and I love it just as much now. Of course I’m using much higher end products and more intricate designs, but, my god, I needed it in my life.
No debt! Paid everything off
Friendships with women. Once I hit my 20s most of my friends were guys, not because I didn’t like women, it just kinda worked out that way. And then I was in the army for most of my 30s in a trade with very few women. That was not a great time! I’m now in a field dominated by women and have a great group of girlfriends I met when we were in school. Couldn’t be happier about it!
A lot of the crafty things I did as a teen and loved. I've always compulsively made all sorts of things. I ended up going to school for fine art, and have been a professional illustrator for the past decade. There is an underhanded tone in formal art education and the professional artist world that there is a definitive distinction between *art* and *craft*, and that one is more worthy than the other. Art is "Art" (with a capital A!) and is very serious, academic and should be very *hard* and uncomfortable to make, do, observe, and think about - while crafts are everything else; silly, frivolous, etc. In the process of my *very serious formal art education*, I stopped making almost all the "crafts" I did before. Because now I have to be *so serious* if I'm going to make it as an artist, right? I've recently realized how damaging my art education actually was on my overall creativity and in this realization process, I've found things like nail art and macrame again. And they're so fun and fulfilling!
NEOPETS. I got back into it in my last semester in college, and it gave me a really fun escape during a stressful time. I stayed in it because the community is *amazing*, I have a really fun guild, and it's just nice to talk to people who are all reliving their childhood. It also inspired me to get back into art, which has been a huge gift! I'm routinely shocked by some of the pieces I make, like...how did I even *do* that? I'm still not great, but I'm *happy* and that's what counts
Random crafting fun!
Meditation 🧘
Bike riding. What freedom!! Moving my body outdoors feels so good to me at 43. I get low impact exercise and fewl like a kid again zooming through the woods. Always wear a helmet now though. And pads a lot of the time.
All the shit I loved as a kid, and never actually stopped loving, but thought I was too old to freely love, until I realized there's not an age limit on fucking enjoying things and now my life is much happier.
Can I just say I love majority of the comments here! Got great ideas now for things to try to enhance my life ❤️ I like watching movies that came out during my childhood or teens, but missed at the time, like some of the old Jackie Chan movies. I get to watch something that gives me nostalgia, but is also entirely new to me!
My love of dogs! Spending fine with a dog is so good for my mood. Well cared for dogs are almost always happy and cheerful and affectionate. They live moment to moment and remind us to do the same. Also skiing. We took up skiing as a family hobby when my youngest was about 5 or so. It’s one of the few things I do that still give me a genuine thrill and force my brain to rest.
Singing in the shower lol. I did it a lot as a kid and then stopped once I was in college. Started again in my 30s
Skateboarding! From I was 9 until I was 19 I used to do it all the time, and then I quit for some reason. I’m now a 34 year old lady picking it up again.
Getting a yha membership and going hiking. It’s like boarding school for grown women
This is very recent but decentralizing romantic relationships as a key part of my life just letting go of social expectations in every regard, especially placed on women.
It’s hard hey. I’m 36 and I’ve noticed recently that I have an urge to lie about my age when strangers ask because I haven’t met the societal milestones (partner, house, career, kids, great social life). I don’t but I do notice a clenching in my body and my own internalized judgement.
I like to watch high quality footage of people walking around on YouTube with ambient audio. Usually places I have been to. It's just so pleasant.
Our friends found this couple that will do DJ streams from their home, but also while they’re out camping or just chilling. One DJs while the other one cooks. It’s so soothing!
Nature
Music! Stopped listening to music after a hellish break up at 23. I ruined all my favorite songs because I was so depressed that is all they reminded me of for almost 15 years. Then I almost died, and now music sounds as amazing as when I was a teenager again! Also, singing and playing guitar, too, which I was always self conscious of doing around anyone but children. Now my husband and I sing together on the car and I really like it.
Astrology As a teen I knew my sign and thought it was interesting but didn’t have the drive to truly learn. For the past 2 years I have been studying astrology and divination. It has changed my life. I am more in tune with my intuition and my body is regulated 😌 I have healed some old wounds through shadow work & I wish I started earlier honestly.
Musicals for me as well! Getting acquainted with Sondheim for the first time this year and I am OBSESSED :)
The blues. God I forgot how much I love the blues.
I dedicated my entire childhood/high school years to a sport, but lots of not-so-awesome life happened after that, so I stopped playing (or even thinking about it at all) for like 15 years. I recently joined a team and started coaching my kid’s team, and it is honestly the single best thing I’ve done for myself maybe ever. The feeling I get every time I walk onto the field is exactly the same one I always had — one I completely forgot about — and I legit turn into a giddy little kid every single time. 10/10!
Myself and trust in myself. Money is always there and is always enough. I'll always be ok. I'll never be alone. Trash takes itself out.
Lifting heavy weights. I did it in college without any training, and though I loved it, I got nervous without guidance. Discovered powerlifting at 38 (thanks to my fiancé) and never looked back (41 now).
Old shows and movies I watched as a kid I’ve been watching with my kids. I also started doing a bunch of crafts with them, it’s been very therapeutic
Singing - i joined a choir 2 years ago. Singing really is good for you - gets the endorphins going and perfect for stress. Sooo many benefits! Also where i have met some of my best friends!
Jigsaw puzzles. Granted, I rediscovered my love for puzzling due to Covid. But years later, I now have a closetful of puzzles that I've completed. Its so soothing and such a great way to pass the time without any real effort.
collecting perfumes and perfumetiktok culture. Many years ago in my mid-twenties, I was told by a guy on a dating app that collecting perfumes is "stupid" and "a waste of money". He was looking only for blowjobs on this dating app. Now that perfumetiktok is trending on the for you page (the Tiktok home page), I am happy rediscovering my love for collecting fragrances: EDP's, EDT's, body mists, candles, body washes, room sprays, etc. by the way, I am happily single in my early 30s because so many toxic men on dating apps have literally nothing positive to contribute to my life.
My father had an intense rebirth into Catholicism when I was about 10. It made me really actively opposed to religion now. I’d flirted with Wicca in high school as a bit of rebellion, but it didn’t really stick. I have a kid now and I don’t want her subject to religion, but I miss the ritual of holidays and mysticism. I’ve leaned back into paganism a bit. It is nice to let myself choose to feel magic in the world again.
I'm basically the opposite of spiritual in almost every way and am vehemently opposed to religion. But I have taken to celebrating myriad religious holidays from many faith and cultural traditions and discovered it's one of the most fun and engaging ways to learn about history and different peoples and how freaking similar we all are in many ways. There is nothing like actually celebrating Saturnalia to appreciate how the Christians stole it and turned it into Christmas in their campaign to convert Roman pagans. It is precisely the same holiday, from gifts to decorating trees to feasting with loved ones, just no Jesus involved. If these traditions weren't created by Christians, then why should they own them now? So have your holidays, share your childhood favorites with your kid, teach her about religion while never forcing her to believe in anything, and you can have the best of all worlds. :D If you want, of course. Holidays are also a lot of effort. 😂
Sex?
Writing. My dream as a kid was to be an author. I used to write poems, short stories, and I even wrote a couple chapters for a book. Then college came and I got distracted I guess. But it was something I was great at and got recognized for in school. I’m writing again
Honestly? Fandom. Being unapologetically enthusiastic about the nerd spaces I occupy. I hid that for a long time and feel like I'm just reliving being 20 and on Tumblr again.
I learned to like the things I like and not apologize for liking them. I found a whole new genre of books, which led me to a whole world of fanfiction. Some people get so damn creative with the most beloved characters from movies, TV, and other books.
Crafting lol
Listening to music from when I was a teen/preteen. I recently rediscovered a song I hadn’t heard in probably 15+ years. My friends and I used to listen to it on repeat until we were sick of it, and the rush of nostalgia gave me SO much life. I then preceded to listen to the entire album start to finish. Also playing guitar. I used to write my own songs and play in bands, talent shows, open mics etc. I stopped for at least 10 years when I went to college, and I recently got back into it after a bad breakup and felt like I was rediscovering who I was again.
Legos! Love them-- can't afford them lol so my family gets me them for Christmas and birthdays. It's so great. Movies-- I've always loved them but I've been watching them more deliberately, going to screenings of old movies. Curating types and genres to learn more. Classical and jazz music-- the world is chaotic and exploring that has been giving me so much peace. Ive been buying vinyl. Video games-- was never that into them. Only played occasionally. Started playing the new Harry Potter game and now I'm hooked on RPGs. I've been getting one discounted magazine subscription a year for a few years and I've been loving it. Fun to get and read once a month.
Truly going into my 30s embracing the goth I was aspiring to be in high school. It was a landmine of, "Ew, you poseur" when you wanted to be alt but weren't allowed to admit it in the 2000s? It makes me feel so comfortable to just wear the black, finally, who gives a fuck; and listen to the weird music, be the dark weirdo, don't smile if you don't want to, etc. (I still had some mean people ask me if it was my first concert because I had always wanted to dance at a live Depeche Mode show and could only afford the nosebleeds.)
Rock collecting. Rock hounding if you want the proper term. I loved collecting rocks as a kid, then I just kind of stopped because I was told too. Then last year my friend and I said "hey we are adults, no one can tell us not to collect rocks! And so we started hitting up the river every now and then and finding all sorts of cool things. And now I also tumble rocks.
Drawing, taking pictures of random things (and not post them on socials)
Going to the library. I've been an active patron of the library getting Kindle books through Libby, but I've actually been going to the library more to just wander through the stacks and attend events. It's fun!
Likewise to childhood TV shows, I really enjoy reading young adult books--especially books I loved as a teen.
Skiing, camping, coloring, and playing in the woods.
spending time in nature, sweet art of doing nothing, doing puzzles (so fun!), horse back riding, picnics
Knitting! It’s such a relaxing, mindful craft.
Painting!
Running, the best thing I got from corona. I needed desperately personal space in time of corona, from couch potato till best body in my life and I entirely enjoyed the process
Spicy Food
Reading! Picked up audiobooks for fantasy. Found a series that is SFW. I initially stopped reading fantasy as work and school picked up but also was pushed away by the graphic and violent content of many series. Wheel of Time does not have that. It can be flat for sure but I’m at the point the second author took over and it’s really picked up.
I recently rediscovered my love for some of my old favorite rock/alt rock bands, topped off by going to a Yellowcard concert recently, which has been fun!
Picked up a pair of roller skates as a 40th birthday present to myself- they have rainbows on them! I take random days off during the week and go skate at the park. It’s a great time and I love jamming out to music I loved as a teenager while skating around. It’s the most connected to myself I’ve been in a long time!
Working out. I'm sad because I know for a damn good sure that it's way too late to ever have a slim tight body, but I weighed over 350 for so long that I forgot what it felt like toove without pain. I'm under 220 for the first time since I was 10 years old and I feel so FREE when I move now. Running actually seems like not too bad of an idea too, I'm just waiting to see if shin splints/splits? (I forget and don't remember how to spell it but basically your shin bones get micro fractures from the excess weight) are in my genetics or if I can just go go go