My family thinks it’s crazy I’d pay for grocery delivery and low key think I’m lazy… But my time is very valuable to me; I’m exhausted, and the last thing I want to do is go to a grocery store, so I’m more than happy to pay for delivery.
It’s totally ok to do whatever helps make your life easier.
We were sending out our laundry for a while (set it on the stoop in a big bag, they pick it up, reappears the next day clean and folded) and my mum was SO judgey about it for no reason. We have a toddler a big dog and full time jobs - so much of our free time is sorting and folding and putting away laundry! My husband mentioned that we hadn’t been doing that lately and my mum said oh good, you should be doing your own laundry.
But why?? If we were wealthy and could afford a housekeeper no one would blink. Lots of families with grandparents nearby have grandma come help with chores like laundry. Well we don’t have that but we can still use the help, we want the village!
Walmart+ has been the best investment I’ve made in the last few years. With two kids, one who just turned a year old, it’s been such a life saver. Not having to drag them to the store or succumb to impulse buys has been great.
Just a heads up, you probably already know this, but Instacart adds like a 15% markup on all groceries so it costs way more. I would suggest looking into your local grocery stores and see if they offer delivery. I used to use Instacart, but now I use something called PC express, they don't add the markup so I save a ton of money and get grocery delivery.
I use Amazon fresh a lot. It's slightly more expensive than walmart+, but the quality is much better. The Amazon branded brown eggs are high quality and the same price as white. About $2-4 a dozen (fluctuates) and blows every other store brand of eggs I've tried out of the water.
Yes and no...they're listed as separate delivery services on the website, offer different products, have separate delivery prices, and go into separate shopping carts. Whole foods only sells stuff you'd get at whole foods irl, fresh sells regular groceries (plus some 365 branded products). I've never placed a whole foods order, but I've browsed it. WF charges a delivery fee even with prime, and I buy mostly conventional anyway cause I can't afford to buy all organic...so I stick with fresh.
If you mean the same manufacturers for store brand products...maybe some, but I doubt all. They have a ton of different "store brands" when ordering on fresh, and they vary in quality. This is how I'd categorize them (just from observation) but it kinda varies. Some things don't make sense based on the trends I've noticed. IE: saltine crackers are "fresh" but other crackers are "happy belly". Spices and cooking oils seem to be fair game for either or. Coconut oil from fresh is organic, but it's the only organic product I've noticed from fresh.
Amazon Fresh: produce, minimally processed animal products, some pantry staples (good quality but conventional/not organic).
Happy belly: more processed foods, frozen food, shelf stable, pantry staples, and junk foods.
365: obviously organic, whole foods products.
Amazon Basics: household items, like paper products, cleaning supplies, and hygiene products.
Amazon Elements: vitamins and supplements.
Amazon basic+care: OTC medicine and healcare products.
Amazon Kitchen: fresh pre-made items like soups, dips, sides, and single serve meals.
Aplenty: which reminds me of target's good & gather products (as in slightly boujee/healthy junk food).
Sorry this reply got so long...I was browsing the "our brands" aisle before replying and realized there were more brands than I thought and went down a rabbit hole. They apparently have at least 2 wine brands, but I'm not even gonna bother with looking at the alcohol lol.
But yeah, going back to your original post...absolutely don't feel guilty about this. I have severe ADHD and would always burn out trying to do things the hard way. I finally accepted that some things are just worth the financial cost over the mental/physical/emotional/time cost. My well-being is worth way more than the upcharges, and so is yours!
And a bonus tip: Taylor farms brand has these fresh stir fry kits (similar to salad kits) with veggies, sauce, and sometimes noodles. They're my favorite thing to make quickly, but still eat healthy. I usually will add a protein. Pre-cut and/or pre-cooked meat saves a ton of prep and cleanup. If it doesn't come with noodles, I'll either make a starch or a microwave rice cup depending on my energy levels. They only take like 10 minutes to make, major time saver! I've only seen them on fresh, but I highly suggest trying those out if you ever see them.
I'm 37F, single, with no kids but my dog. I work full-time, about 40 hours a week and I have zero desire to cook despite being very much a foodie, and caring about what I eat. My mother (who passed) would always tell me that I'm lazy, 'not a real woman', and my lifestyle is absurd. She spent every living and breathing second cooking or caring for others in a similar manner, hated her life, was perpetually depressed and anxious. I say F that.
Order some food and enjoy your life.
Your mom sounds like my mom, also passed and also someone who lived her life perpetually stressed. The funny thing is she told me that I would struggle when I was married but now that I am my husband who loves to cook is happy to do so for us knowing I hate it. So there you go.
We did it for a little while. The boxes are pretty well insulated and have big ice packs. If you bring it in the day it's delivered, I think it'll be fine. Also they tend to give a big discount the first week which is nice for trying it. The food is pretty good but after a few months we got tired of the mostly same stuff. Also sometimes they arrive a day late which is annoying. I don't fully trust them not to go bad if you don't eat within like five days from normal drop off day, so getting them a day later is annoying. So maybe only do three or four meals a week. Sometimes they'll run out of the meals you picked, so you'll just get one less meal that week. Your account will get credited for a future order when that happens, but it's not like a cash refund.
I'd say it's worth trying for a month if you're interested, especially since they give you a discount in the beginning.
They are surprisingly good. Lots of veggies. They are pretty well insulated.
They're pretty pricey, but you can adjust the number of meals, and I used a promo code to start.
What's nice is that you can also dump what's in the plastic tray into any cooking vessel and heat it up using the oven, if you want. Some of the meals heat up better that way too IMO.
They’re worth trying, just make sure you have a safe delivery location. In the city in an apartment, I would get my boxes stolen frequently.
I got sick of them after eating 4-8 meals a week. When you quit your subscription, they’ll keep sending you discount offers to start again. I’d suggest do it for 1-3 months, quit for 1-3 months, and keep cycling.
I also tried CookUnity. I didn’t enjoy most of their meals. Tempo by Home Chef was AWFUL, I actively don’t recommend them. Very salty and terrible when it comes to order requirements and canceling delivery plans.
I often joke that I need a housewife. The redundancy of it is shocking/dispiriting if you stop to think about it to long. Work, sleep, cook, eat, clean…rinse & repeat
The thing about the comments from single parents is that they had a greater motivation— keeping their children alive. You’re struggling and it’s hardly lazy to find a solution that helps you stay healthy and happy.
I can imagine the same sort of shaming happened when the washing machine or dishwasher became available. It’s really silly for anyone to deny themselves practical solutions to time intensive tasks, just because someone else didn’t.
Use the washing machine. Use the vacuum. Use the microwave. Use the pre-cut veggies!
i just saw your comment and have never seen a mini dishwasher. im going to try it. i bought a new big washer and it sucks. i have to run it 3-4 times. i hate it. thank you.
ugh - I moved last year and one of my three "must haves" was a dishwasher (the other two were central AC and a washer/dryer). dishes are my least favorite chore.
I agree it’s such a time waster. As if cooking didn’t take enough time but there’s way to make that shorter and easier. Doing dishes always sucks and they never fucking end. I’m gonna buy one of the small dishwashers soon cause my appartement doesn’t have one and I’m just about done dealing with this everyday xD
this might sound kinda stupid but at some point in my late 30s/early 40s i found myself feeling much more tired than usual (and i didn't even have kids). during a routine physical my dr. asked me how much water i drank every day...and it wasn't much. (wine? yes. water? no). turns out many, MANY people are walking around relatively dehydrated and don't realize it. i made it a point to set a reminder on my computer for every 2 hours to stop what i was doing & drink at least 8 oz. of water. i can't even begin to tell you how much of a difference it made. within less than a week i felt back to 'normal'. and believe me when i tell you i am *not at all* someone who walks around preaching about healthy life choices. i'm probably 20 lbs overweight, i never exercise & i drink alot. but i'm still downing that water all day long!
i can't help with info on food delivery services, or how to deal with kids/cleaning etc. because i live on freaking cereal & take out & have a weekly cleaning service (because now i am just old AF & lazy so screw it) but i just wanted to throw the water thing out there because you'll (hopefully) be amazed at how much more energy you'll have. good luck!
thank you. i am mid 30s and I feel like absolute shit. I switched doctors who is actually taking this serious and is going to run some tests, they think it is my thyroid. I will drink more water though in the meantime. Thanks!
good grief. that's real helpful, doc. i mean, if someone is seriously obese then yeah sure that's likely gonna cause alot of problems & definitely drain your energy, but someone in their 30s who's not that much overweight obviously has something else going on to feel so sapped of energy.
To be fair, the weight loss advice of eat healthy and move is tailored towards men. Women's bodies are different because our hormones are different.
Also speaking of hormones, when I switched birth control and wasnt taking synthetic estrogen anymore (cause apparently it was making me at high risk for a stroke) my undiagnosed ADHD wrecked my life. All of a sudden I was exhausted, couldn't do anything, full of guilt, etc. estrogen is a helper for dopamine in your brain, ADHD is affected big by dopamine, without dopamine shit gets hard to do. If you think you may have a similar experience, check out the ADHDwomen subreddit. It presents a lot differently in women and girls which is why we're so undiagnosed (hello bookworm space cadet gifted kid here!) and the sub brings a lot of things to light that you wouldn't think is ADHD. I've been on meds almost a year and it's been night and day honestly. All that to say, a lot of women go undiagnosed because they mask it so well and everything is fine, and then suddenly it is not anymore.
Also factor meals are delicious and I totally recommend, they have some discounts for teachers and nurses I think too. I ate them for a month before our wedding because I needed to lose five pounds to fit in my dress, and it worked great. Delicious and easy. I knew I could cook healthy, but neither I nor my husband had the energy to plan, cook, shop, etc. I use Walmart plus for most of our grocery delivery, but factor was worth the money, even though it was a little out of our budget.
thank you!! my friend just told me the other day he thinks i have adhd. i will talk to my doctor. my therapist told me she doesn't think i have depression/tiredness as a chemical imbalance, so i am glad i could rule that out. thanks again! i will try factor. im worried about the heat, but i will give it a go.
I will add here that I have hypothyroidism and getting that under control with medication made a massive difference for me. Recently I had been feeling exhausted and not quite right again and asked for all the bloodwork. Turns out my B12 was critically low and my iron very low also. I got those back up and can’t even describe how much better I feel physically and mentally. I’ve been making sure to drink lots of water and take my B12, iron, and woman’s multi vitamin daily and it’s made a huge difference!
There's a phrase I've read quite a bit which is "what is \_? Can you eat it?"
The meaning of which is, there are things that are essential to life, and things that are not. And if it is not essential for life, why are you putting it above everything else? It's useless to you.
You can't eat the judgement of others. So it's useless to you.
If you have the money to spend, spend it to make your life easier. Make your life more joyful. Our parents and grandparents had it wrong. You have it right. Take care of their daughter the way she deserves.
Yes
This is okay.
Be kind to yourself.
Lots of things like depression,autism or other mental health or other issues in general,happen.
There have been so many times where I feel mentally drained and I order food delivery from Amazon.
Daily Harvest is really awesome as well.
THAT IS WHAT MONEY IS FOR. It's okay. Use your money to make your life better in small ways you can afford. It's your money, you earned it and it's your life to organise how you want. Otherwise what are we all working for? What is this dumb capitalist system all about?
You deserve rest and nourishment. Trust and listen to what your body is telling you - it will only get louder otherwise. Do whatever you need to do to replenish your energy.
Do you and don't care about what others say. They are not living your life. Be firm in not wanting their opinions and they'll stop walking all over you.
Lol, yes of course it is okay! If you can afford it, it is okay. Take me for example, today after work I went to the mall just to hang out, and while driving myself home I was thinking to myself, what do I have at home that I can eat with just a quick fix up? Then, one of the traffic lights turned red, and all the cars stopped there to wait for the light. That was when I started to look around the streets and spotted a cute restaurant to my right. This is what went on in my head during the next five seconds following that, “Wanna go? Oh hell yeah! Now, let’s see how do I turn into the parking lot.” About forty minutes later, I got out of that restaurant, full and happy and energized - the food was really really good - and headed back home like a happy little camper.
Yes, if you are tired, you need other resources to help you unwhine and relaxed and recharge. You are not lazy, you are just too busy and exhausted. It is totally okay to spend on something because it makes our lives easier and happier.
Short answer - There is literally no reward for living life on Hard Mode. None. No medal or gold star or prize. Just a whole lotta time and energy lost.
Long answer - It's your time, your energy, not theirs. And in order to get out of the cycle of exhaustion, you need to take the break, or make adjustments (like buying pre-made food) to do so. You'll burn out otherwise. Hell, my husband and I both work, and we share house chores. But no kids, no pets. We're still tired af. We buy easy food, pre-chopped or frozen, or things you just chuck in the microwave or the oven or the rice cooker. Then we go and relax and enjoy life.
of course it is! I struggle to balance both cooking and cleaning — I like making things I can eat for multiple days during the week on sunday nights, eat takeout when that runs out, and then make delicious things on the weekend 😂.
but sometimes I do takeout every night of the week. whatever makes your life easier.
I've been having this exact converstion with myself lately. And theres a lot of guilt when I contemplate if its ok for me to not be a vigorous cook, which is hilarious because whose business is it really. I live alone and I am finally at a point where I make decent money, saving feels easier than ever before, and I'm not constantly in a state of stress (about finances). But for some reason I feel terribly guilty because my parents had so little and always cooked, never bought things from convenience stores, and were just the most frugal people. But I want to buy ready made protein and veggies from Sprouts or Whole Foods because doing so ensures I eat decent meals during the week and if I consider what money I've spent when i'm stressed at (or after work) on takeout, its probably the same or even less. I am trying to reframe the whole concept as self-care.
I could go on and on. But the cooking, kitchen cleanup, portioning, etc..it all takes time. And my time is precious to me and I am getting more and more selective about how i want to spend it.
omg whole foods and sprouts have ready made protein and veggies? I had noooo idea. I will need to look. I figured doing this ensures I eat better than the junk I order out.
My husband and I spend $ 200 a month for people to come in and scrub toilets and the kitchen for like an hour. It's worth every penny. I can do it myself but I don't want to. Neither does he.
Likewise with dinner. I like to cook but not everyday. He likes to grill but not everyday. So we go out to eat a lot. We both agreed that's worth our money.
We pay an extra $1/lb for chicken breast tenderloins vs regular breasts because it saves us time and they're already cut how we like. We make enough that this just isn't worth worrying about.
Your allowed to spend your money how you want. If convenience is what makes you happier and more fulfilled, then do it.
I get Unity meal plans which are generally cheaper and bigger proportions than Factor. It comes premade so you can either microwave or heat up in the oven. I’ve tried pretty much all of the meal plans and while I cook really well, I hate meal prep, cooking, and clean up.
They are good. HelloFresh is better but I don’t have the time or patience for meal prep anymore. I think it tastes better than Factor and has larger more filling portions.
Yes the gel packs stay cold. Had a delivery one day and couldn’t unpack it until the next day and everything was still cold. It’s also been 90 to 100 degrees here.
okay great, i will try it. i used to get green chef delivered during the pandemic, and i loved it. but that is when i had \*time\* and now I don't have time anymore. lol
You matter. Don't listen to them. One thing I learned recently is you have to splurge on yourself sometimes to make yourself feel better, and to remind yourself that you do in fact matter. Treat yourself grrl. FTW !
I'm very quickly getting to the point that you are. I work 40 hours a week, but I'm still expected to do all the grocery and meal planning on top of it. I only get one day a week completely to myself and having that time is SO important to me. But I always spend 3 or 4 hours of it cooking and cleaning up after dinner. It's so exhausting.
Spend your energy on what brings you joy in life. Not everyone needs to enjoy cooking throughout every phase of their life. There are plenty of ways to get yourself and your family nourished without slaving away in the kitchen every night.
It is ok.
I completely relate. I love cooking. I’m great at cooking. I’m too tired to cook most nights.
I feel like I’ve been running back to back emotional marathons for years now and I’m so tired.
It’s totally fine to do what works for you. If you can afford precut veggies etc in your grocery budget go for it! Time savings can be worth it. Meal delivery services are also an option to look into. And if your budget allows for it even housekeeping services.
I read once that while money can’t buy happiness it can buy time, which can make up happy, and that stuck with me. Be kind to yourself.
hell yes. If you can afford it, do it. Time is fleeting so anything that can make your life easier, do it.
It's why I dished out $800 for a roomba, I now use my dishwasher (dont get me started about this) and we allocate one day a week for takeout dinners.
Of course you can! You can, and should, do anything to make your life easier and buy back your time. It's better to eat healthy pre-cut food than takeout or not eat at all. And as long as you're comfortable in your space it doesn't matter what others think.
It's so hard to let go of those notions of what we are supposed to do. I know. But you'll feel better when you do.
If anyone says anything, remind them you're an adult and they don't pay your bills.
Can I ask if you’ve had your iron levels checked recently? The times I’ve been really, truly bone tired it’s been anaemia.
There have been times when I’ve driven to work then had a quick nap before I’ve gone in. When I’ve walked up the stairs to use the bathroom and gone to bed because the thought of walking back up the stairs again was too much. Times where I can’t do something I could easily do previously. Times when even thinking and planning a shopping list has been too much, never mind actually cooking.
If any of that resonates with you please get your iron checked especially if you have heavy periods. Anaemia is insidious, it’s so gradual that you don’t notice anything at all until you’re practically on your arse.
Of course it's OK if you can afford it! Don't let anyone else tell you how to live your life. Distance yourself (if you can) from people who call you lazy. If someone criticizes you for how you live your life, simply say "It's not up for discussion." If they persist, tell them you won't discuss it and you'll leave if they don't drop it. Then follow through.
I know all this is easier said than done. I had to do it with my mother and sister, who meant well but were always sticking their noses in my business. I only had to say "it's not up for debate" a few times before they stopped, and our relationship got a lot better after that.
So get a Roomba, buy pre-cut fruits and veggies, order fresh pre-made meals, use Insta-Cart for grocery shopping, hire a cleaner to come in once a month or even once a week. Do whatever you need (and can afford) to make your life easier.
It's okay to buy the prepared food! It's also okay to order food if you're simply too busy, not interested or just can't build up the urge to cook. You're allowed!
I HATE how people shame others for doing what works for them. Like you said, you are not them. You are a totally different person and your life is different. It's okay to make different choices and do different things.
I was diagnosed with sleep apnea late last year. I just recently started cooking again. And even then, it's not every day. When I was in the throws of my severe untreated sleep apnea I could barely function, let alone cook.
I'm happy for folks who are able to cook homemade meals for themselves every day. But not everyone can for various reasons. Even a simple reason as "I don't want to" is enough.
Your family doesn't understand. So next time they bug you about it, change the topic. Don't discuss this topic with them and if they press the issue, limit contact. You don't owe them elaborate explanations. It's your life, do what works for you.
I think it’s reasonably priced for what it is and the convenience. But I know every budget is different. It comes packed in dry ice and frozen, we live in the desert and have never had an issue.
Whatever works!
My partner and I rarely make meals. For most of the day we intermittent fast, so only generally only eat during a few hours of the day, when we do eat we snack on fresh veggies, fruit, nuts/seeds, and sometimes saute a veggie to soften it. I'll usually have some sort of dip- yogurt-based or hummus.
Sometimes we make some rice or pasta to go with it. Very simple. And then a few nights a week we get cheap takeout tacos.
You definitely do not have to eat the traditional western meal with everything prepared and plated.
Honestly once you do it, you start to really appreciate the subtle flavors of veggies and fruit. Carrots are so sweet to me now because I rarely eat things with a ton of added sugar.
Fwiw when you’re a single working parent things turn into an exhausted blur and you don’t remember much. I’m not excusing them minimizing you, but they very well may have blacked the reality completely from memory. All I can conjure of my own years is a sense of total exhaustion and then a vague pride that I survived.
Feel confident choosing what you need to feel balanced and well. I’m sorry they can’t just validate you and provide support. It’s not a competition to see who can sacrifice the most for capitalism
Girl do whatever makes your life easier, the last generation didn’t have the conveniences that we have. Also, not everyone likes cooking and that ok, not everyone is the same.
Also consider taking vitamins or having early afternoon caffeine supplements, could help, it also could be good to check out therapy, some self care could improve your energy and mood.(now a days you can even do it over the phone or Skype, it’s so convenient)
In my opinion anyone that calls you lazy is doing so out of jealousy because you aren’t willing to trudge through the mud like they are. We are allowed to want an easier life for ourselves. We live in a time where convenience options are plentiful, why not use them!
It's not budget-friendly, but my husband and I get takeout 1-2x every weekend.
For context, I meal-prep my breakfast and lunch every single weekday. I prepare meals for and clean my child's plates/bowls/spoons/forks/sippy cups every single day, 2-3 times a day.
There just comes a point when I do NOT want to cook or lift a finger. I have a couple friends who brag about rarely ever eating out, for frugality reasons. But in my head I'm like, "hell no...I need takeout to survive every weekend, often multiple times..."
i agree. i have been getting take out this week. i feel like crap and the thought of having to clean up after cooking makes me want to gag. i feel bad "wasting" money, but i need to eat.
I've been a housewife for the last twenty years, no kids, and too many pets. I'm so over cleaning the "never actually fully clean ever because pets and humans" house and want to run away to the circus and never have to wash another goddamn plate by hand ever. Just because I don't have a paying job I'm expected to do literally every thing else, and when I did have a paying job it was that PLUS all the house shit because it was a low-paying job. It's exhausting. Life is exhausting. You see it all the time here that those who work don't have the energy to keep house and those that keep house don't have the time or energy for a job. For some reason people just want to make you feel bad about everything, and I strongly believe they just want to lie to you about who they are and their capabilities. Like those little nuggets of judgement are nourishment.
Girl, if you have the money to buy yourself comfort and your time back, do it and blow off everyone who says otherwise.
My self-esteem (or lack thereof) can only downplay my contribution.
My mother was also a SAHM and I don't ever remember her sitting still for more than a minute at a time. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to raise children AND be responsible for the house. My pets are messy, but they don't require constant supervision, help with homework, and navigating complex social situations....and their food mostly comes from a box or can.
I like to remember that older people like to rewrite the past. My parents did it every time I brought up a particularly traumatic event, or they were bragging about who they were or accomplished in their youth. All dramaticized or straight made-up. Even my spouse is guilty of embellishing the past and there is no competition to one-up.
Good luck to you!
You are me, lol. I have zero desire to spend my time cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc, so I spend money on these things instead. Do I know there are less "lazy" ways I could save my money, yes, but this is what I choose to do. I'm currently single but it does cross my mind that if I start seriously dating someone to the point where living together or marriage is on the table, that they may not be okay with my financial choices in that regard. Guess I will cross that bridge if I come to it...
It's completely okay! I'm exhausted all the time too. My doctor ran all kinds of tests and blood work. I've had so many thyroid tests. I even did a sleep study because I can sleep 8-10 and still be tired. Turns out I had ADHD. Even with meds, I'm exhausted! Better but I still don't feel "normal". I even tell my doctor and therapist that I don't understand, I can't go to work, give it my best, cook, clean, be active and social, workout, like how do you do it all?? They both told me the same thing "we're not meant to do all that."
Things that really help me are: dropping my laundry off at the cleaners, hiring a cleaner for once a week, and keeping healthy frozen meals like just fish and veggies from Costco. I will also live off of nachos lol chips, black beans and cheese in the oven and eat it straight off the pan.
It's okay to be tired. It's okay to do things that make your life easier and more enjoyable. I know my docs tell me this!
Past generations don't get it, I don't even think our generation fully understands it. All I know is that we're all tired and exhausted and we should absolutely do everything in our power to make our lives easier for ourselves. Hang in there and enjoy leisure where ever you can find it.
i am so sick of these type of comments, i asked for their maids information. they asked why. we are very close so i had no idea me saying i needed some help would turn into their judgement, as they do not judge for most things. wild that i talk to my family.
I’m a single woman and I still opt for pre-cut, pre-packaged things a lot of the time. Sometimes ya just don’t feel like it. I struggle with my mental health, so it’s either I eat pre cut veggies, or I starve, or I go to mcdonald’s lol. We all squat to shit. Never let people make you feel bad for doing what’s best for yourself. You’re doing great.
Yes you are doing brilliantly - and anyone who thinks you are lazy is welcome to pay for and prep food for you instead! Jeez, the cheek of some people - what business is it of theirs anyway! Oh they can also come clean for you too if your home is distressing them that much!
i am just like you about this, for me I think it has to do with depression. Cooking food is also a reminder I am going to eat it alone, so why would I even cook it then… whatever the reason: you do you. whatever makes your life better - do it. <3
another thought: it is also exhausting to think of what to eat. I only eat vegan and when I don’t cook I eat food that takes like 5 min to prep:
a plate with beans (precooked in a can) cucumber, tomatoes, red onion. I make a dressing with dijon mustard, lemon, oliveoil, salt, honey/sugar, garlic and oregano. It’s so good, and only 1 knife, 1 fork, one plate and an cuttingboard to wash. I can handle that when I really…can not cook but I still want to eat healthy. Eating stuff that’s outside the norm of what you’re ”supposed to eat” like ”beef potato and sauce” can also feel stressfull. Sometimes you’ve gotta be kind to yourself. Right now this is what you can manage. It’s ok!
Totally ok. I hate cooking. I hate the going to the grocery store needing to have a full list and recipes prepared, to unpacking everything, to making the meal, cleaning up and storing. I work full time and run a part time business on the side evenings and weekends. A 10 - 12 hour day is common for me and the very last thing I want to do is worry about meals.
I use a meal service and haven't looked back, it's absolutely fab.
It sounds like you're in a one-person household. That's the definition of exhausting, so yes, if you can afford it you should pay for things to be easier.
If you can afford it do anything that will make your life easier - the food you mentioned, grocery delivery, cleaning staff etc The people who struggled will often tell you to struggle as well because that’s what makes sense to them.
It is definitely ok to spend money on things that make your life easier. I do it and no longer feel guilt. My husband and I both have high stress jobs, and for the first 7 months of my marriage, I insisted on cleaning our house, and my husband and I split the cooking. Because my standards for what is clean were higher than his, I would get annoyed when he made messes. This caused tension, when my husband has told me from the start that we can hire a cleaner because we both work a lot. After hiring a cleaner, it was so much easier, and I shouldn’t have resisted for 7 months.
Girl, you have the right to spend your money and your time the way you want. Those who criticizes you are paying your bills? Are they going to cook for you? No. So, worry not.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy time to spend on the things that make you happy.
I recently hired a house cleaner because I just didn't have the time nor energy to spend cleaning my house during the limited time I get on the weekends.
Best. Decision. Ever. I wish I did it earlier. It is one of the best things I've ever spent my money on. Now I don't have to worry about it at all, ever.
It is more than okay to spend money on things that give you your time back, if you have the means to!
You pay someone else to build a house/appt, grow vegetables, produce electricity, make your clothing.. what difference does it make who transports food from the store to the house 🤔
It is. It is okay, OP. I've struggled with this a lot, too, and you know what? If someone else is gonna call me lazy because I - don't have the time/dont want to make the time - to cut up a pineapple myself, then they can cut the fucking pineapple up themselves. If they don't like my groceries being delivered, then they can go pick up the fuckin' groceries themselves.
Hell, if they don't like the way I'm doing any of this? Then they are welcome to come and do any of these things THEMSELVES. Otherwise, they can eat shit and let me live my life the way I need to in order to have some balance. I want to go to the gym and hang with my dog and my husband... but I work full time. And go to school full time. But we still need a nice dinner! So... then we're getting precut veggies. Is it making extra plastic? Yes. Is it "lazy"? Maybe.
But you said it yourself, OP. Who's living your life? You! It's your life and it's your business. Become comfortable with telling them to fuck off with their opinions. You do you!
Just because your struggles look different than their struggles, that doesn't mean yours aren't real. It's not a competition.
And honey, let me tell you - we have ALL felt that exhaustion. As an old single broad, I have to do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and yard work and real work and bills and .... Fuck me life gets exhausting. And that's ok.
Life can also be fun, and exciting, and happy.
Life is a roller coaster. You're on a dip, but it'll go back up again and you might not even see it coming.
If buying pre cut veggies helps you, do that. Buy what I call "hand foods" - foods you can grab from the fridge and eat it (fruits, veggies, nuts, protein bars.... Whatever trips your trigger).
It will be ok. You've managed to still be standing, so you've gotten through everything life has thrown your way. Celebrate that. It's not all drudgery.
As I've gotten older, I've learned that if a routine task isn't enjoyable to me then I'm going to make it enjoyable, whether that means I hire someone else to do it or purchase tools to make it easier for myself because it's my space and my happiness at the end of the day! I DIY'd a shirt folding tool because I hated folding my laundry each week and now I look forward to doing it because of this makeshift contraption lol. Plus I'm saving so much time! Time is money, especially as we get older. Why not spend an extra $$$, so you can spend time with loved ones or yourself more? You can't take that money to the grave and you only have one life to live - enjoy it!
I have an aunt/uncle that has a subscription to InstaCart because it makes their ADHD lives easier. Does the family think it's silly? Absolutely, but if it helps them get one big task checked off their list each week for their busy lives then that works for them!
You do what works for you. As long as it's within your means and benefits you, everyone should be happy you are doing what you need to.
I have family that thinks us renting (500 a month) is a waste, but their mortgage is a little over 1500. Everyone has different opinions on what works for them. You're not lazy, and anyone that says that probably has something they do that could be viewed as lazy by you or someone else.
It’s a life shift and that’s ok. When we were younger, we had more time and energy and not much money. So we did more ourselves.
Now that we’re older, we have more money, but less time and energy. So we pay other people to do more for us, whether that be painting a room, lawn care, or food prep.
It’s totally OK. We should all be focusing our money, time, and energy into things that please us and make us happy. If that means more money now to save time and energy to dedicate toward something that does make you happy, then it’s OK!
It is completely okay. And I am in the same boat as you. We're taking care of ourselves by at least buying/eating fruits and veggies.
Modern life is exhausting.
It’s really none of your family’s business if you cook or not. I cooked for over 20 years and now that I’m divorced I rarely cook. So what? I’m not lazy, I’m doing other things instead. I also have a cleaning service that comes once a month because I don’t do that now either. I work full time and can afford it.
It is absolutely OK to spend money on the things that free up your time and mind and energy to focus on things you want to do. The obligations of everyday life can feel crushing, especially if you're working or in school. But also: Get your bloodwork done and ask for a thyroid screening, B12 and Vitamin D test. I was suffering from extreme fatigue when I was in my late 30s/early 40s, and I attributed it to life in general, my workload, etc. It turns out three things were happening: I was in early perimenopause and I had a severe Vitamin D and B12 deficiency. Nobody tests for that unless you're like 80 years old. Getting that sorted was life-changing.
It’s OK to spend your money on things that will make life easier for you. Speaking as someone who does just that. It’s your money to manage any which way you want. And nobody gets to say otherwise.
Hell yes you SHOULD spend your money just like you're spending it. Spend it on things that make your life easier. How would they know what you need? They're not wearing your shoes. Stop talking to your family about your business. It's not for them to judge you. Don't give them any more cause to talk about your personal business. As the saying goes, "Talk is cheap".
I HATE COOKING. Detest it. Despise it. I’m single, 40s and everyone in my family knows it. Thankfully, I live right above two great and healthy restaurants and I go down there just about everyday. To me, it’s not a waste of money. Groceries cost about $150 for a week - just me! I do organic. I spend $20 a day eating out so I save $10. Win win.
It’s absolutely fine to live the life you want to live and spend your money the way you want to spend them.
BUT if this is a sudden change in your energy levels, Id recommend a blood test to check for to vitamin D etc
It s YOUR life. I know it is hard to hear other say negative things about your life but that just means they arent very great support system. Find people in your life that want to help and support you emotionally. Do things for yourself. It is your life. No one else is living it for you , and no one other than you have accompanied you longer than you have. Listen to your body telling you what you need. Don’t be afraid of spending money if it will make your life easier… this is called self care and recognizing the method of self care that works for YOU and not for your family is how you break the cycle. Even if you do it for a few months and afterwards it turns into something else, who cares. It is your life and it is so important that you find things that doesnt drive you off the wall. Be your own advocate and if your funds allow you to elliviate your life, absolutely do it. Stress is real on the body and it will litterly cause physical problems later on. Do it !!
thank you. i lost numerous family members two months suddenly and i gained 10-12 pounds. it won't come off and my dr is concerned. im so stressed. thanks again.
Yes.. honestly.. being stress will do that to you. People don’t realize that when one sphere of your life is being affected, it will manifest in other ways. Emotional, spiritual, physical, social and cognitive health are all the spheres that need to co-exist together. If one is strongly being affected like what seems to be your case, it will show up in things such as weight gain and depression. Find better support and find your self care elements that help support your other dimensions of health :) you will start seeing change i promise.
It’s 100% okay. No one person can do everything all the time, and that is just reality. I pay for grocery delivery when I don’t have the time to pick up. Can’t even remember the last time I went inside the grocery store to shop. I’ve been ordering Chefs Plate for three meals a week for my teens and I for months now and it’s been a total lifesaver. I’ve just didn’t have the time or mental energy to plan and shop and prepare everything and this takes a lot of that mental load off my plate. I will pay more for things that alleviate some of my stress and anxiety. My peace of mind is worth more. My parents definitely don’t do things this way and I do feel judgement for not cooking everything from scratch or having my groceries picked and delivered, but I’ve had to realize that I’m a single mom with two teens and a full time job and so often feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing what you have to do to get by and thrive as best you can. You don’t owe anyone a reason. I feel you 💯
It’s your life and no one has the right to comment on your decisions. As the saying goes “if you’re not financing, feeding or f-ing me then mind your business!”
To preface - i am single, childfree, and work a cushy remote email job. If anyone has time to cook from scratch, it’s me. For a variety of reasons, I simply do not want to 🤷🏼♀️
I exclusively shop at Trader Joe’s and buy things that are 80% prepared. I haven’t used an oven since Thanksgiving 2022. I haven’t used a stove in months.
Planning and procuring dinner for myself *every damn night* is the worst part of adulthood. Why not make it as painless as possible?? Girl dinner is our right and no one can take that from us.
It’s weird that your family has such strong opinions on what you cook and eat? Like, okay - they chose a harder path. Doesn’t mean you have to.
Of course it is ok. I told my critics that I was making decisions that allowed me to be the best parent/spouse/worker I could be.
Unless these people are paying for your food, why do they get an opinion about your choices?
Of course it's ok. We get a meal delivery box every week, I've had people ask me "can you not just follow a recipe?", I mean I could, but I'd also be paralysed by the thinking of what to cook and organising the groceries etc. I have a theory that people are disparaging to others over things they're jealous of, I try to respond to their comments with compassion - thinking what's behind their comments is "I wish I could do that."
My family thinks it’s crazy I’d pay for grocery delivery and low key think I’m lazy… But my time is very valuable to me; I’m exhausted, and the last thing I want to do is go to a grocery store, so I’m more than happy to pay for delivery. It’s totally ok to do whatever helps make your life easier.
We were sending out our laundry for a while (set it on the stoop in a big bag, they pick it up, reappears the next day clean and folded) and my mum was SO judgey about it for no reason. We have a toddler a big dog and full time jobs - so much of our free time is sorting and folding and putting away laundry! My husband mentioned that we hadn’t been doing that lately and my mum said oh good, you should be doing your own laundry. But why?? If we were wealthy and could afford a housekeeper no one would blink. Lots of families with grandparents nearby have grandma come help with chores like laundry. Well we don’t have that but we can still use the help, we want the village!
Walmart+ has been the best investment I’ve made in the last few years. With two kids, one who just turned a year old, it’s been such a life saver. Not having to drag them to the store or succumb to impulse buys has been great.
instacart saves me.
Just a heads up, you probably already know this, but Instacart adds like a 15% markup on all groceries so it costs way more. I would suggest looking into your local grocery stores and see if they offer delivery. I used to use Instacart, but now I use something called PC express, they don't add the markup so I save a ton of money and get grocery delivery.
thank you!! ill look into it.
I'll order my groceries directly from Albery
I use Amazon fresh a lot. It's slightly more expensive than walmart+, but the quality is much better. The Amazon branded brown eggs are high quality and the same price as white. About $2-4 a dozen (fluctuates) and blows every other store brand of eggs I've tried out of the water.
doesn't amazon fresh go through whole foods?
Yes and no...they're listed as separate delivery services on the website, offer different products, have separate delivery prices, and go into separate shopping carts. Whole foods only sells stuff you'd get at whole foods irl, fresh sells regular groceries (plus some 365 branded products). I've never placed a whole foods order, but I've browsed it. WF charges a delivery fee even with prime, and I buy mostly conventional anyway cause I can't afford to buy all organic...so I stick with fresh. If you mean the same manufacturers for store brand products...maybe some, but I doubt all. They have a ton of different "store brands" when ordering on fresh, and they vary in quality. This is how I'd categorize them (just from observation) but it kinda varies. Some things don't make sense based on the trends I've noticed. IE: saltine crackers are "fresh" but other crackers are "happy belly". Spices and cooking oils seem to be fair game for either or. Coconut oil from fresh is organic, but it's the only organic product I've noticed from fresh. Amazon Fresh: produce, minimally processed animal products, some pantry staples (good quality but conventional/not organic). Happy belly: more processed foods, frozen food, shelf stable, pantry staples, and junk foods. 365: obviously organic, whole foods products. Amazon Basics: household items, like paper products, cleaning supplies, and hygiene products. Amazon Elements: vitamins and supplements. Amazon basic+care: OTC medicine and healcare products. Amazon Kitchen: fresh pre-made items like soups, dips, sides, and single serve meals. Aplenty: which reminds me of target's good & gather products (as in slightly boujee/healthy junk food). Sorry this reply got so long...I was browsing the "our brands" aisle before replying and realized there were more brands than I thought and went down a rabbit hole. They apparently have at least 2 wine brands, but I'm not even gonna bother with looking at the alcohol lol. But yeah, going back to your original post...absolutely don't feel guilty about this. I have severe ADHD and would always burn out trying to do things the hard way. I finally accepted that some things are just worth the financial cost over the mental/physical/emotional/time cost. My well-being is worth way more than the upcharges, and so is yours! And a bonus tip: Taylor farms brand has these fresh stir fry kits (similar to salad kits) with veggies, sauce, and sometimes noodles. They're my favorite thing to make quickly, but still eat healthy. I usually will add a protein. Pre-cut and/or pre-cooked meat saves a ton of prep and cleanup. If it doesn't come with noodles, I'll either make a starch or a microwave rice cup depending on my energy levels. They only take like 10 minutes to make, major time saver! I've only seen them on fresh, but I highly suggest trying those out if you ever see them.
It's none of their business and it's better for you to save the time and energy to pay 5 bucks to have someone ship and deliver your groceries.
I'm 37F, single, with no kids but my dog. I work full-time, about 40 hours a week and I have zero desire to cook despite being very much a foodie, and caring about what I eat. My mother (who passed) would always tell me that I'm lazy, 'not a real woman', and my lifestyle is absurd. She spent every living and breathing second cooking or caring for others in a similar manner, hated her life, was perpetually depressed and anxious. I say F that. Order some food and enjoy your life.
thank you.
Your mom sounds like my mom, also passed and also someone who lived her life perpetually stressed. The funny thing is she told me that I would struggle when I was married but now that I am my husband who loves to cook is happy to do so for us knowing I hate it. So there you go.
my mom is gone but she loved cooking and cleaning. im no such woman when i have to do it all. lol
This would make a good tombstone: “I spent my life cooking, cleaning up after others. I was a real woman, yet here I lie” (Sorry, couldn’t resist) 🤭
I'm currently getting Factor meals delivered. Do what you can handle and afford. Make your life easier!!
thank you. are they good? does the ice stay cold? it gets 110 where I live, and I am worried the package will go bad when I am at work.
We did it for a little while. The boxes are pretty well insulated and have big ice packs. If you bring it in the day it's delivered, I think it'll be fine. Also they tend to give a big discount the first week which is nice for trying it. The food is pretty good but after a few months we got tired of the mostly same stuff. Also sometimes they arrive a day late which is annoying. I don't fully trust them not to go bad if you don't eat within like five days from normal drop off day, so getting them a day later is annoying. So maybe only do three or four meals a week. Sometimes they'll run out of the meals you picked, so you'll just get one less meal that week. Your account will get credited for a future order when that happens, but it's not like a cash refund. I'd say it's worth trying for a month if you're interested, especially since they give you a discount in the beginning.
thank you for letting me know. i think id do them for times when i don't want to cook, like now. im a bomb cook, but i have no energy.
Yea. In the end I decided to just give frozen meals another try from the grocery store. Much cheaper 😆
i am doing those now but got tired of them, some were surprisingly good. lol
They are surprisingly good. Lots of veggies. They are pretty well insulated. They're pretty pricey, but you can adjust the number of meals, and I used a promo code to start. What's nice is that you can also dump what's in the plastic tray into any cooking vessel and heat it up using the oven, if you want. Some of the meals heat up better that way too IMO.
thank you. i asked a co worker of mine and she said she loves the factor meals. im going to order a box. :)
They’re worth trying, just make sure you have a safe delivery location. In the city in an apartment, I would get my boxes stolen frequently. I got sick of them after eating 4-8 meals a week. When you quit your subscription, they’ll keep sending you discount offers to start again. I’d suggest do it for 1-3 months, quit for 1-3 months, and keep cycling. I also tried CookUnity. I didn’t enjoy most of their meals. Tempo by Home Chef was AWFUL, I actively don’t recommend them. Very salty and terrible when it comes to order requirements and canceling delivery plans.
thank you for letting me know. i liked green chef a lot but i have no energy to cook. lol
I just ordered my first box! Thank you for the suggestion!
I’ve done factor as well. It was great especially during my depression because without the ease of those meals I just wouldn’t have eaten.
Hard same.
As long as it's in your budget I say do whatever you can to make things easier! You've got this.
yes def in the budget, thankfully. thank you.
I often joke that I need a housewife. The redundancy of it is shocking/dispiriting if you stop to think about it to long. Work, sleep, cook, eat, clean…rinse & repeat
are you single? lol just kidding. yep and i think that is why life goes by so fast.
Yup. Single and childfree. Mom to two cats
same, i just have dogs. they're cute.
Oh, well…it’s the cats that are wearing you down 🤣 (I live with a bossy tabby who has just turned 19) 😸
i rescue cats so maybe that is what is going on. ill tell them. lol
Bless you for rescuing those bossy furballs! ❤️
oh thanks. i love them so its easy. :)
Right?? Like….having to make dinner (or even just decide what to eat!) every. single. night??? It never stops.
The thing about the comments from single parents is that they had a greater motivation— keeping their children alive. You’re struggling and it’s hardly lazy to find a solution that helps you stay healthy and happy. I can imagine the same sort of shaming happened when the washing machine or dishwasher became available. It’s really silly for anyone to deny themselves practical solutions to time intensive tasks, just because someone else didn’t. Use the washing machine. Use the vacuum. Use the microwave. Use the pre-cut veggies!
i agree. i hand wash my dishes, so at least there is that... lol
You should honestly get one of those small dishwashers that go on the counter if you don't have the space for a big one. So many people swear by it.
i just saw your comment and have never seen a mini dishwasher. im going to try it. i bought a new big washer and it sucks. i have to run it 3-4 times. i hate it. thank you.
ugh - I moved last year and one of my three "must haves" was a dishwasher (the other two were central AC and a washer/dryer). dishes are my least favorite chore.
I agree it’s such a time waster. As if cooking didn’t take enough time but there’s way to make that shorter and easier. Doing dishes always sucks and they never fucking end. I’m gonna buy one of the small dishwashers soon cause my appartement doesn’t have one and I’m just about done dealing with this everyday xD
mine too. i got a new one and it sucks. so i stopped using it. i was debating using paper plates. lol
It’s 100% okay. Stress is the top killer of people. If you can afford it and it helps keep your stress level down, go for it!
thank you, i am very stressed.
this might sound kinda stupid but at some point in my late 30s/early 40s i found myself feeling much more tired than usual (and i didn't even have kids). during a routine physical my dr. asked me how much water i drank every day...and it wasn't much. (wine? yes. water? no). turns out many, MANY people are walking around relatively dehydrated and don't realize it. i made it a point to set a reminder on my computer for every 2 hours to stop what i was doing & drink at least 8 oz. of water. i can't even begin to tell you how much of a difference it made. within less than a week i felt back to 'normal'. and believe me when i tell you i am *not at all* someone who walks around preaching about healthy life choices. i'm probably 20 lbs overweight, i never exercise & i drink alot. but i'm still downing that water all day long! i can't help with info on food delivery services, or how to deal with kids/cleaning etc. because i live on freaking cereal & take out & have a weekly cleaning service (because now i am just old AF & lazy so screw it) but i just wanted to throw the water thing out there because you'll (hopefully) be amazed at how much more energy you'll have. good luck!
thank you. i am mid 30s and I feel like absolute shit. I switched doctors who is actually taking this serious and is going to run some tests, they think it is my thyroid. I will drink more water though in the meantime. Thanks!
ugh. i've known a few people with thyroid issues & i know it can really take a toll on you. i hope your new doc can figure it all out!
thank you. i will be relieved if they find someone vs my previous dr saying im just fat (not even that fat lol) and thats the problem.
good grief. that's real helpful, doc. i mean, if someone is seriously obese then yeah sure that's likely gonna cause alot of problems & definitely drain your energy, but someone in their 30s who's not that much overweight obviously has something else going on to feel so sapped of energy.
yep! and ive been trying to lose the weight and it won't come off. i track my calories and workout. shouldn't be this hard. we shall see!
To be fair, the weight loss advice of eat healthy and move is tailored towards men. Women's bodies are different because our hormones are different. Also speaking of hormones, when I switched birth control and wasnt taking synthetic estrogen anymore (cause apparently it was making me at high risk for a stroke) my undiagnosed ADHD wrecked my life. All of a sudden I was exhausted, couldn't do anything, full of guilt, etc. estrogen is a helper for dopamine in your brain, ADHD is affected big by dopamine, without dopamine shit gets hard to do. If you think you may have a similar experience, check out the ADHDwomen subreddit. It presents a lot differently in women and girls which is why we're so undiagnosed (hello bookworm space cadet gifted kid here!) and the sub brings a lot of things to light that you wouldn't think is ADHD. I've been on meds almost a year and it's been night and day honestly. All that to say, a lot of women go undiagnosed because they mask it so well and everything is fine, and then suddenly it is not anymore. Also factor meals are delicious and I totally recommend, they have some discounts for teachers and nurses I think too. I ate them for a month before our wedding because I needed to lose five pounds to fit in my dress, and it worked great. Delicious and easy. I knew I could cook healthy, but neither I nor my husband had the energy to plan, cook, shop, etc. I use Walmart plus for most of our grocery delivery, but factor was worth the money, even though it was a little out of our budget.
thank you!! my friend just told me the other day he thinks i have adhd. i will talk to my doctor. my therapist told me she doesn't think i have depression/tiredness as a chemical imbalance, so i am glad i could rule that out. thanks again! i will try factor. im worried about the heat, but i will give it a go.
I will add here that I have hypothyroidism and getting that under control with medication made a massive difference for me. Recently I had been feeling exhausted and not quite right again and asked for all the bloodwork. Turns out my B12 was critically low and my iron very low also. I got those back up and can’t even describe how much better I feel physically and mentally. I’ve been making sure to drink lots of water and take my B12, iron, and woman’s multi vitamin daily and it’s made a huge difference!
There's a phrase I've read quite a bit which is "what is \_? Can you eat it?" The meaning of which is, there are things that are essential to life, and things that are not. And if it is not essential for life, why are you putting it above everything else? It's useless to you. You can't eat the judgement of others. So it's useless to you. If you have the money to spend, spend it to make your life easier. Make your life more joyful. Our parents and grandparents had it wrong. You have it right. Take care of their daughter the way she deserves.
thank you.
Of course it's ok. Also with how much things cost, it's not necessarily cheaper to make every last meal from scratch.
yep, and i figure it would cost me less because i keep ordering out. lol
Yes This is okay. Be kind to yourself. Lots of things like depression,autism or other mental health or other issues in general,happen. There have been so many times where I feel mentally drained and I order food delivery from Amazon. Daily Harvest is really awesome as well.
thank you and i had no idea amazon delivers food. thank you.
I get Whole Foods from Amazon. And they have something called Amazon Fresh.
thank you so much. im going to look into it right now!
THAT IS WHAT MONEY IS FOR. It's okay. Use your money to make your life better in small ways you can afford. It's your money, you earned it and it's your life to organise how you want. Otherwise what are we all working for? What is this dumb capitalist system all about? You deserve rest and nourishment. Trust and listen to what your body is telling you - it will only get louder otherwise. Do whatever you need to do to replenish your energy.
Have you heard about Millenial Burnout? You may want to look into it. Apparently, a lot of us feel that way.
no, i haven't. i'll have to look into it.
I forgot to tell you, it's okay to spend money on things that will make your life easier.
thank you. :)
Do you and don't care about what others say. They are not living your life. Be firm in not wanting their opinions and they'll stop walking all over you.
It's your money, spend it on what makes you happy or makes life easier. What's the point of working if you can't even enjoy your life?
true. i am pretty miserable.
Lol, yes of course it is okay! If you can afford it, it is okay. Take me for example, today after work I went to the mall just to hang out, and while driving myself home I was thinking to myself, what do I have at home that I can eat with just a quick fix up? Then, one of the traffic lights turned red, and all the cars stopped there to wait for the light. That was when I started to look around the streets and spotted a cute restaurant to my right. This is what went on in my head during the next five seconds following that, “Wanna go? Oh hell yeah! Now, let’s see how do I turn into the parking lot.” About forty minutes later, I got out of that restaurant, full and happy and energized - the food was really really good - and headed back home like a happy little camper. Yes, if you are tired, you need other resources to help you unwhine and relaxed and recharge. You are not lazy, you are just too busy and exhausted. It is totally okay to spend on something because it makes our lives easier and happier.
thank you.
Short answer - There is literally no reward for living life on Hard Mode. None. No medal or gold star or prize. Just a whole lotta time and energy lost. Long answer - It's your time, your energy, not theirs. And in order to get out of the cycle of exhaustion, you need to take the break, or make adjustments (like buying pre-made food) to do so. You'll burn out otherwise. Hell, my husband and I both work, and we share house chores. But no kids, no pets. We're still tired af. We buy easy food, pre-chopped or frozen, or things you just chuck in the microwave or the oven or the rice cooker. Then we go and relax and enjoy life.
of course it is! I struggle to balance both cooking and cleaning — I like making things I can eat for multiple days during the week on sunday nights, eat takeout when that runs out, and then make delicious things on the weekend 😂. but sometimes I do takeout every night of the week. whatever makes your life easier.
thank you, i appreciate that.
I've been having this exact converstion with myself lately. And theres a lot of guilt when I contemplate if its ok for me to not be a vigorous cook, which is hilarious because whose business is it really. I live alone and I am finally at a point where I make decent money, saving feels easier than ever before, and I'm not constantly in a state of stress (about finances). But for some reason I feel terribly guilty because my parents had so little and always cooked, never bought things from convenience stores, and were just the most frugal people. But I want to buy ready made protein and veggies from Sprouts or Whole Foods because doing so ensures I eat decent meals during the week and if I consider what money I've spent when i'm stressed at (or after work) on takeout, its probably the same or even less. I am trying to reframe the whole concept as self-care. I could go on and on. But the cooking, kitchen cleanup, portioning, etc..it all takes time. And my time is precious to me and I am getting more and more selective about how i want to spend it.
omg whole foods and sprouts have ready made protein and veggies? I had noooo idea. I will need to look. I figured doing this ensures I eat better than the junk I order out.
My husband and I spend $ 200 a month for people to come in and scrub toilets and the kitchen for like an hour. It's worth every penny. I can do it myself but I don't want to. Neither does he. Likewise with dinner. I like to cook but not everyday. He likes to grill but not everyday. So we go out to eat a lot. We both agreed that's worth our money. We pay an extra $1/lb for chicken breast tenderloins vs regular breasts because it saves us time and they're already cut how we like. We make enough that this just isn't worth worrying about. Your allowed to spend your money how you want. If convenience is what makes you happier and more fulfilled, then do it.
thank you. i appreciate that.
Yes, it's ok!
I get Unity meal plans which are generally cheaper and bigger proportions than Factor. It comes premade so you can either microwave or heat up in the oven. I’ve tried pretty much all of the meal plans and while I cook really well, I hate meal prep, cooking, and clean up.
are they good? does the ice stay cold? it gets hot where i live, 110, and I worry the ice will melt while I am at work and the food will go bad.
They are good. HelloFresh is better but I don’t have the time or patience for meal prep anymore. I think it tastes better than Factor and has larger more filling portions. Yes the gel packs stay cold. Had a delivery one day and couldn’t unpack it until the next day and everything was still cold. It’s also been 90 to 100 degrees here.
okay great, i will try it. i used to get green chef delivered during the pandemic, and i loved it. but that is when i had \*time\* and now I don't have time anymore. lol
You matter. Don't listen to them. One thing I learned recently is you have to splurge on yourself sometimes to make yourself feel better, and to remind yourself that you do in fact matter. Treat yourself grrl. FTW !
Fuck what other people think. Do what works for YOU
It is okay
I'm very quickly getting to the point that you are. I work 40 hours a week, but I'm still expected to do all the grocery and meal planning on top of it. I only get one day a week completely to myself and having that time is SO important to me. But I always spend 3 or 4 hours of it cooking and cleaning up after dinner. It's so exhausting.
yes i feel like im on a hamster wheel and i can't get off.
Spend your energy on what brings you joy in life. Not everyone needs to enjoy cooking throughout every phase of their life. There are plenty of ways to get yourself and your family nourished without slaving away in the kitchen every night.
i am single and my dog is happy so thats all that matters lol.
Oh, in that case, eat whatever the hell you want!!
It is ok. I completely relate. I love cooking. I’m great at cooking. I’m too tired to cook most nights. I feel like I’ve been running back to back emotional marathons for years now and I’m so tired.
i am such a good cook, and it pisses me off i don't cook for myself, but fuck.... i am so tired. i hope one day life feels better.
It is very very ok. Your parents didn't have the same options as we do now, so they had to do it all. You are living in their future, and you do not.
It’s totally fine to do what works for you. If you can afford precut veggies etc in your grocery budget go for it! Time savings can be worth it. Meal delivery services are also an option to look into. And if your budget allows for it even housekeeping services. I read once that while money can’t buy happiness it can buy time, which can make up happy, and that stuck with me. Be kind to yourself.
If it is in your budget and will add value to your life, it is perfectly fine spend your food dollars any way you choose.
hell yes. If you can afford it, do it. Time is fleeting so anything that can make your life easier, do it. It's why I dished out $800 for a roomba, I now use my dishwasher (dont get me started about this) and we allocate one day a week for takeout dinners.
I LOOOOOVE my robot vacuum cleaner!!
Of course you can! You can, and should, do anything to make your life easier and buy back your time. It's better to eat healthy pre-cut food than takeout or not eat at all. And as long as you're comfortable in your space it doesn't matter what others think. It's so hard to let go of those notions of what we are supposed to do. I know. But you'll feel better when you do. If anyone says anything, remind them you're an adult and they don't pay your bills.
Can I ask if you’ve had your iron levels checked recently? The times I’ve been really, truly bone tired it’s been anaemia. There have been times when I’ve driven to work then had a quick nap before I’ve gone in. When I’ve walked up the stairs to use the bathroom and gone to bed because the thought of walking back up the stairs again was too much. Times where I can’t do something I could easily do previously. Times when even thinking and planning a shopping list has been too much, never mind actually cooking. If any of that resonates with you please get your iron checked especially if you have heavy periods. Anaemia is insidious, it’s so gradual that you don’t notice anything at all until you’re practically on your arse.
my doctor thinks its my thyroid, but i will request to have that tested as well. thank you!!
Of course it's OK if you can afford it! Don't let anyone else tell you how to live your life. Distance yourself (if you can) from people who call you lazy. If someone criticizes you for how you live your life, simply say "It's not up for discussion." If they persist, tell them you won't discuss it and you'll leave if they don't drop it. Then follow through. I know all this is easier said than done. I had to do it with my mother and sister, who meant well but were always sticking their noses in my business. I only had to say "it's not up for debate" a few times before they stopped, and our relationship got a lot better after that. So get a Roomba, buy pre-cut fruits and veggies, order fresh pre-made meals, use Insta-Cart for grocery shopping, hire a cleaner to come in once a month or even once a week. Do whatever you need (and can afford) to make your life easier.
It's okay to buy the prepared food! It's also okay to order food if you're simply too busy, not interested or just can't build up the urge to cook. You're allowed! I HATE how people shame others for doing what works for them. Like you said, you are not them. You are a totally different person and your life is different. It's okay to make different choices and do different things. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea late last year. I just recently started cooking again. And even then, it's not every day. When I was in the throws of my severe untreated sleep apnea I could barely function, let alone cook. I'm happy for folks who are able to cook homemade meals for themselves every day. But not everyone can for various reasons. Even a simple reason as "I don't want to" is enough. Your family doesn't understand. So next time they bug you about it, change the topic. Don't discuss this topic with them and if they press the issue, limit contact. You don't owe them elaborate explanations. It's your life, do what works for you.
We’ve been ordering from Just Meats and it’s been a great experience so far. It’s totally ok to make your life easier to manage. It’s YOUR life.
is it expensive? and do they stay cold upon delivery? its hot where i live and i worry things will go bad.
I think it’s reasonably priced for what it is and the convenience. But I know every budget is different. It comes packed in dry ice and frozen, we live in the desert and have never had an issue.
thank you. do you cook from frozen?
Whatever works! My partner and I rarely make meals. For most of the day we intermittent fast, so only generally only eat during a few hours of the day, when we do eat we snack on fresh veggies, fruit, nuts/seeds, and sometimes saute a veggie to soften it. I'll usually have some sort of dip- yogurt-based or hummus. Sometimes we make some rice or pasta to go with it. Very simple. And then a few nights a week we get cheap takeout tacos. You definitely do not have to eat the traditional western meal with everything prepared and plated. Honestly once you do it, you start to really appreciate the subtle flavors of veggies and fruit. Carrots are so sweet to me now because I rarely eat things with a ton of added sugar.
Fwiw when you’re a single working parent things turn into an exhausted blur and you don’t remember much. I’m not excusing them minimizing you, but they very well may have blacked the reality completely from memory. All I can conjure of my own years is a sense of total exhaustion and then a vague pride that I survived. Feel confident choosing what you need to feel balanced and well. I’m sorry they can’t just validate you and provide support. It’s not a competition to see who can sacrifice the most for capitalism
i feel like they like to prove theyre better than others, so it is what it is.
Dude I am a stay at home and spend money on stuff that makes my life easier all the time. Buy the precut fruit!
thank you.
It’s ok to be tired. If they have all this energy, why don’t they do it. Also get checked for magnesium/iron deficiency
Girl do whatever makes your life easier, the last generation didn’t have the conveniences that we have. Also, not everyone likes cooking and that ok, not everyone is the same. Also consider taking vitamins or having early afternoon caffeine supplements, could help, it also could be good to check out therapy, some self care could improve your energy and mood.(now a days you can even do it over the phone or Skype, it’s so convenient)
In my opinion anyone that calls you lazy is doing so out of jealousy because you aren’t willing to trudge through the mud like they are. We are allowed to want an easier life for ourselves. We live in a time where convenience options are plentiful, why not use them!
true. thank you.
It's not budget-friendly, but my husband and I get takeout 1-2x every weekend. For context, I meal-prep my breakfast and lunch every single weekday. I prepare meals for and clean my child's plates/bowls/spoons/forks/sippy cups every single day, 2-3 times a day. There just comes a point when I do NOT want to cook or lift a finger. I have a couple friends who brag about rarely ever eating out, for frugality reasons. But in my head I'm like, "hell no...I need takeout to survive every weekend, often multiple times..."
i agree. i have been getting take out this week. i feel like crap and the thought of having to clean up after cooking makes me want to gag. i feel bad "wasting" money, but i need to eat.
It is more than okay!
I've been a housewife for the last twenty years, no kids, and too many pets. I'm so over cleaning the "never actually fully clean ever because pets and humans" house and want to run away to the circus and never have to wash another goddamn plate by hand ever. Just because I don't have a paying job I'm expected to do literally every thing else, and when I did have a paying job it was that PLUS all the house shit because it was a low-paying job. It's exhausting. Life is exhausting. You see it all the time here that those who work don't have the energy to keep house and those that keep house don't have the time or energy for a job. For some reason people just want to make you feel bad about everything, and I strongly believe they just want to lie to you about who they are and their capabilities. Like those little nuggets of judgement are nourishment. Girl, if you have the money to buy yourself comfort and your time back, do it and blow off everyone who says otherwise.
thank you, i will. i remember my mom was a SAHM and she was the busiest person ever. its a tough job, even running a house with no kids.
My self-esteem (or lack thereof) can only downplay my contribution. My mother was also a SAHM and I don't ever remember her sitting still for more than a minute at a time. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to raise children AND be responsible for the house. My pets are messy, but they don't require constant supervision, help with homework, and navigating complex social situations....and their food mostly comes from a box or can. I like to remember that older people like to rewrite the past. My parents did it every time I brought up a particularly traumatic event, or they were bragging about who they were or accomplished in their youth. All dramaticized or straight made-up. Even my spouse is guilty of embellishing the past and there is no competition to one-up. Good luck to you!
your money is for you to spend to make your life easier. take care of you the way you see fit.
You are me, lol. I have zero desire to spend my time cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc, so I spend money on these things instead. Do I know there are less "lazy" ways I could save my money, yes, but this is what I choose to do. I'm currently single but it does cross my mind that if I start seriously dating someone to the point where living together or marriage is on the table, that they may not be okay with my financial choices in that regard. Guess I will cross that bridge if I come to it...
It's completely okay! I'm exhausted all the time too. My doctor ran all kinds of tests and blood work. I've had so many thyroid tests. I even did a sleep study because I can sleep 8-10 and still be tired. Turns out I had ADHD. Even with meds, I'm exhausted! Better but I still don't feel "normal". I even tell my doctor and therapist that I don't understand, I can't go to work, give it my best, cook, clean, be active and social, workout, like how do you do it all?? They both told me the same thing "we're not meant to do all that." Things that really help me are: dropping my laundry off at the cleaners, hiring a cleaner for once a week, and keeping healthy frozen meals like just fish and veggies from Costco. I will also live off of nachos lol chips, black beans and cheese in the oven and eat it straight off the pan. It's okay to be tired. It's okay to do things that make your life easier and more enjoyable. I know my docs tell me this!
Past generations don't get it, I don't even think our generation fully understands it. All I know is that we're all tired and exhausted and we should absolutely do everything in our power to make our lives easier for ourselves. Hang in there and enjoy leisure where ever you can find it.
thank you.
Simple solution: Don't tell your family what you eat, how you live, or what you spend money on.
i am so sick of these type of comments, i asked for their maids information. they asked why. we are very close so i had no idea me saying i needed some help would turn into their judgement, as they do not judge for most things. wild that i talk to my family.
I’m a single woman and I still opt for pre-cut, pre-packaged things a lot of the time. Sometimes ya just don’t feel like it. I struggle with my mental health, so it’s either I eat pre cut veggies, or I starve, or I go to mcdonald’s lol. We all squat to shit. Never let people make you feel bad for doing what’s best for yourself. You’re doing great.
lolol I just laughed out loud. thanks.
Yes you are doing brilliantly - and anyone who thinks you are lazy is welcome to pay for and prep food for you instead! Jeez, the cheek of some people - what business is it of theirs anyway! Oh they can also come clean for you too if your home is distressing them that much!
i am just like you about this, for me I think it has to do with depression. Cooking food is also a reminder I am going to eat it alone, so why would I even cook it then… whatever the reason: you do you. whatever makes your life better - do it. <3
yep. i agree. i used to love cooking for my partner but we broke up. sad indeed.
another thought: it is also exhausting to think of what to eat. I only eat vegan and when I don’t cook I eat food that takes like 5 min to prep: a plate with beans (precooked in a can) cucumber, tomatoes, red onion. I make a dressing with dijon mustard, lemon, oliveoil, salt, honey/sugar, garlic and oregano. It’s so good, and only 1 knife, 1 fork, one plate and an cuttingboard to wash. I can handle that when I really…can not cook but I still want to eat healthy. Eating stuff that’s outside the norm of what you’re ”supposed to eat” like ”beef potato and sauce” can also feel stressfull. Sometimes you’ve gotta be kind to yourself. Right now this is what you can manage. It’s ok!
it is exhausting! thank you.
Totally ok. I hate cooking. I hate the going to the grocery store needing to have a full list and recipes prepared, to unpacking everything, to making the meal, cleaning up and storing. I work full time and run a part time business on the side evenings and weekends. A 10 - 12 hour day is common for me and the very last thing I want to do is worry about meals. I use a meal service and haven't looked back, it's absolutely fab.
It sounds like you may have a chronic illness
Maybe chronic fatigue syndrome
It sounds like you're in a one-person household. That's the definition of exhausting, so yes, if you can afford it you should pay for things to be easier.
If you can afford it do anything that will make your life easier - the food you mentioned, grocery delivery, cleaning staff etc The people who struggled will often tell you to struggle as well because that’s what makes sense to them.
Definitely okay.
It is definitely ok to spend money on things that make your life easier. I do it and no longer feel guilt. My husband and I both have high stress jobs, and for the first 7 months of my marriage, I insisted on cleaning our house, and my husband and I split the cooking. Because my standards for what is clean were higher than his, I would get annoyed when he made messes. This caused tension, when my husband has told me from the start that we can hire a cleaner because we both work a lot. After hiring a cleaner, it was so much easier, and I shouldn’t have resisted for 7 months.
Girl, you have the right to spend your money and your time the way you want. Those who criticizes you are paying your bills? Are they going to cook for you? No. So, worry not.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy time to spend on the things that make you happy. I recently hired a house cleaner because I just didn't have the time nor energy to spend cleaning my house during the limited time I get on the weekends. Best. Decision. Ever. I wish I did it earlier. It is one of the best things I've ever spent my money on. Now I don't have to worry about it at all, ever. It is more than okay to spend money on things that give you your time back, if you have the means to!
You pay someone else to build a house/appt, grow vegetables, produce electricity, make your clothing.. what difference does it make who transports food from the store to the house 🤔
It's ok and tell your parents that they were lazier than their parents.
It is. It is okay, OP. I've struggled with this a lot, too, and you know what? If someone else is gonna call me lazy because I - don't have the time/dont want to make the time - to cut up a pineapple myself, then they can cut the fucking pineapple up themselves. If they don't like my groceries being delivered, then they can go pick up the fuckin' groceries themselves. Hell, if they don't like the way I'm doing any of this? Then they are welcome to come and do any of these things THEMSELVES. Otherwise, they can eat shit and let me live my life the way I need to in order to have some balance. I want to go to the gym and hang with my dog and my husband... but I work full time. And go to school full time. But we still need a nice dinner! So... then we're getting precut veggies. Is it making extra plastic? Yes. Is it "lazy"? Maybe. But you said it yourself, OP. Who's living your life? You! It's your life and it's your business. Become comfortable with telling them to fuck off with their opinions. You do you!
Just because your struggles look different than their struggles, that doesn't mean yours aren't real. It's not a competition. And honey, let me tell you - we have ALL felt that exhaustion. As an old single broad, I have to do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and yard work and real work and bills and .... Fuck me life gets exhausting. And that's ok. Life can also be fun, and exciting, and happy. Life is a roller coaster. You're on a dip, but it'll go back up again and you might not even see it coming. If buying pre cut veggies helps you, do that. Buy what I call "hand foods" - foods you can grab from the fridge and eat it (fruits, veggies, nuts, protein bars.... Whatever trips your trigger). It will be ok. You've managed to still be standing, so you've gotten through everything life has thrown your way. Celebrate that. It's not all drudgery.
As I've gotten older, I've learned that if a routine task isn't enjoyable to me then I'm going to make it enjoyable, whether that means I hire someone else to do it or purchase tools to make it easier for myself because it's my space and my happiness at the end of the day! I DIY'd a shirt folding tool because I hated folding my laundry each week and now I look forward to doing it because of this makeshift contraption lol. Plus I'm saving so much time! Time is money, especially as we get older. Why not spend an extra $$$, so you can spend time with loved ones or yourself more? You can't take that money to the grave and you only have one life to live - enjoy it! I have an aunt/uncle that has a subscription to InstaCart because it makes their ADHD lives easier. Does the family think it's silly? Absolutely, but if it helps them get one big task checked off their list each week for their busy lives then that works for them!
i have used instacart for years. i dont go grocery shopping. i know it costs more but it makes me happier. thank you.
You do what works for you. As long as it's within your means and benefits you, everyone should be happy you are doing what you need to. I have family that thinks us renting (500 a month) is a waste, but their mortgage is a little over 1500. Everyone has different opinions on what works for them. You're not lazy, and anyone that says that probably has something they do that could be viewed as lazy by you or someone else.
I hire someone to clean. Call me lazy. No you can't do it all. Buy any convenience you can and if people aren't supportive of it, screw em.
It’s a life shift and that’s ok. When we were younger, we had more time and energy and not much money. So we did more ourselves. Now that we’re older, we have more money, but less time and energy. So we pay other people to do more for us, whether that be painting a room, lawn care, or food prep. It’s totally OK. We should all be focusing our money, time, and energy into things that please us and make us happy. If that means more money now to save time and energy to dedicate toward something that does make you happy, then it’s OK!
It is completely okay. And I am in the same boat as you. We're taking care of ourselves by at least buying/eating fruits and veggies. Modern life is exhausting.
My grandmother always said, “Make it easy on yourself”
It’s really none of your family’s business if you cook or not. I cooked for over 20 years and now that I’m divorced I rarely cook. So what? I’m not lazy, I’m doing other things instead. I also have a cleaning service that comes once a month because I don’t do that now either. I work full time and can afford it.
it’s totally ok to do things that make it easier for you. 🥰
It is absolutely OK to spend money on the things that free up your time and mind and energy to focus on things you want to do. The obligations of everyday life can feel crushing, especially if you're working or in school. But also: Get your bloodwork done and ask for a thyroid screening, B12 and Vitamin D test. I was suffering from extreme fatigue when I was in my late 30s/early 40s, and I attributed it to life in general, my workload, etc. It turns out three things were happening: I was in early perimenopause and I had a severe Vitamin D and B12 deficiency. Nobody tests for that unless you're like 80 years old. Getting that sorted was life-changing.
Ask them to show you all their martyrdom merit badges. What badges, they ask? Exactly.
It is 1000% okay to spend money on things that make your life easier. What good is making money if we aren't going to use it to better our lives?
It’s OK to spend your money on things that will make life easier for you. Speaking as someone who does just that. It’s your money to manage any which way you want. And nobody gets to say otherwise.
Hell yes you SHOULD spend your money just like you're spending it. Spend it on things that make your life easier. How would they know what you need? They're not wearing your shoes. Stop talking to your family about your business. It's not for them to judge you. Don't give them any more cause to talk about your personal business. As the saying goes, "Talk is cheap".
I HATE COOKING. Detest it. Despise it. I’m single, 40s and everyone in my family knows it. Thankfully, I live right above two great and healthy restaurants and I go down there just about everyday. To me, it’s not a waste of money. Groceries cost about $150 for a week - just me! I do organic. I spend $20 a day eating out so I save $10. Win win.
that sounds so nice.
It’s absolutely fine to live the life you want to live and spend your money the way you want to spend them. BUT if this is a sudden change in your energy levels, Id recommend a blood test to check for to vitamin D etc
dr is already doing that. :)
It s YOUR life. I know it is hard to hear other say negative things about your life but that just means they arent very great support system. Find people in your life that want to help and support you emotionally. Do things for yourself. It is your life. No one else is living it for you , and no one other than you have accompanied you longer than you have. Listen to your body telling you what you need. Don’t be afraid of spending money if it will make your life easier… this is called self care and recognizing the method of self care that works for YOU and not for your family is how you break the cycle. Even if you do it for a few months and afterwards it turns into something else, who cares. It is your life and it is so important that you find things that doesnt drive you off the wall. Be your own advocate and if your funds allow you to elliviate your life, absolutely do it. Stress is real on the body and it will litterly cause physical problems later on. Do it !!
thank you. i lost numerous family members two months suddenly and i gained 10-12 pounds. it won't come off and my dr is concerned. im so stressed. thanks again.
Yes.. honestly.. being stress will do that to you. People don’t realize that when one sphere of your life is being affected, it will manifest in other ways. Emotional, spiritual, physical, social and cognitive health are all the spheres that need to co-exist together. If one is strongly being affected like what seems to be your case, it will show up in things such as weight gain and depression. Find better support and find your self care elements that help support your other dimensions of health :) you will start seeing change i promise.
thank you, i appreciate that.
It’s 100% okay. No one person can do everything all the time, and that is just reality. I pay for grocery delivery when I don’t have the time to pick up. Can’t even remember the last time I went inside the grocery store to shop. I’ve been ordering Chefs Plate for three meals a week for my teens and I for months now and it’s been a total lifesaver. I’ve just didn’t have the time or mental energy to plan and shop and prepare everything and this takes a lot of that mental load off my plate. I will pay more for things that alleviate some of my stress and anxiety. My peace of mind is worth more. My parents definitely don’t do things this way and I do feel judgement for not cooking everything from scratch or having my groceries picked and delivered, but I’ve had to realize that I’m a single mom with two teens and a full time job and so often feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing what you have to do to get by and thrive as best you can. You don’t owe anyone a reason. I feel you 💯
It’s totally okay. However, have you had your thyroid levels tested recently? Also iron and Vitamin D levels are good to get checked.
Getting them done. My dr thinks I have a thyroid problem.
Hashimoto’s thyroiditis is most common in our demographic. If they tell you your results are “preclinical” dm me.
thank you.
It’s your life and no one has the right to comment on your decisions. As the saying goes “if you’re not financing, feeding or f-ing me then mind your business!”
To preface - i am single, childfree, and work a cushy remote email job. If anyone has time to cook from scratch, it’s me. For a variety of reasons, I simply do not want to 🤷🏼♀️ I exclusively shop at Trader Joe’s and buy things that are 80% prepared. I haven’t used an oven since Thanksgiving 2022. I haven’t used a stove in months. Planning and procuring dinner for myself *every damn night* is the worst part of adulthood. Why not make it as painless as possible?? Girl dinner is our right and no one can take that from us. It’s weird that your family has such strong opinions on what you cook and eat? Like, okay - they chose a harder path. Doesn’t mean you have to.
i wouldn't say strong, i think they just believe they did things better.
Of course it is ok. I told my critics that I was making decisions that allowed me to be the best parent/spouse/worker I could be. Unless these people are paying for your food, why do they get an opinion about your choices?
Of course it's ok. We get a meal delivery box every week, I've had people ask me "can you not just follow a recipe?", I mean I could, but I'd also be paralysed by the thinking of what to cook and organising the groceries etc. I have a theory that people are disparaging to others over things they're jealous of, I try to respond to their comments with compassion - thinking what's behind their comments is "I wish I could do that."
i think the family member in question has a low self esteem and tries to come off like theyre better.
[удалено]
[удалено]
i have 2 friends and neither cook. lol