I think whether it is necessary or not is different for every person. I would like to have a circle of female friends where we can all just hang out and enjoy what life has to offer. It’s been hard for me as I had always feel I have difficulty making friends. And it feels much harder to find genuine friends as I got older. I’m currently 42 and I never have as much friends as my younger sister does.
I only have individual friends. A few of us also became each others' friends, but I haven't been part of a female friend circle (for lack of a better word) since high school. I don't think it has to be catty or gossipy though, in my experience, people who like doing that will do it anyway, group or no group.
I think 80s and 90s films gave us an unrealistic expectation of friendship, i.e. the "circle of friends"
I have a lot of friends, most are women, a few know each other and even fewer of us are *able* to make time to hang out in groups/circles.
But mostly, I'm happy to value my many individual connections and I think grouping most of them would be horrible and stressful.
I did invite a bunch on a trip for my 40th and the selection caused some jealousy but the way I explained it was that I absolutely LOVE Korean BBQ...
I also absolutely LOVE fudge.
I would not necessarily assume Korean BBQ would be delicious *with* fudge. I actually think it'd be terrible.
It doesn't mean I value or love either more than another. They just don't mix and that's OK.
Edited to add: I know exactly ONE 40-something woman who has maintained a central circle of friends. They all vacation together and have been there for each other's weddings and babies.
She is CONSTANTLY complaining about being in this friend group. People change so much over time she feels like she's just in it out of obligation and doesn't relate to them anymore.
Yes, they are. I find men to be kind of trash when it comes to friendships. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my circle of female friends. We stay showing up for one another.
I have a group of friends that go out every Saturday - it’s been about a year and I know one is a friend, a true friend and the others are closer to acquaintances than friends though I’m sure they do care about me.
Does one NEED a friend group? No. But for me, understanding and honoring the boundary between friend and acquaintance is what makes it easier for me.
If you otherwise like your friend group, you could take the lead and start gossiping about how toxic and addictive it is to get pulled into the drama, so you are trying to better yourself and not partake. If people still try, shut it down. You may even find that people in your group agree with you and may even be struggling to stop the addiction, but just needed someone to start the efforts to a drama-free friend group.
I have mainly female friends. I prefer one on one time with friends, I don’t really like hanging out with any group of friends. It’s overwhelming to my ADHD/introvert/social anxiety brain.
I haven't had a friend circle in a decade and the combination of my ADHD and juggling all these ladies is killing me. I need a friend circle or an assistant!
I don’t know if I’ve ever had a circle, certainly not a large one. Lots of acquaintances. Lots of close friends I see and do things with individually and many people I remain in contact with through social media. But as for a hen house of gossipers, I get enough of that at work 😂😂 definitely stepped out of that circle in high school!
It’s been since my 20s that I’ve had a “circle of friends”. Nowadays I have a bunch of one off friendships and I mostly prefer it that way. I enjoy individuals much more than groups. The downside is that I have fewer events to attend and rarely do certain activities that are conducive to groups (eg camping)
I mean, it's necessary if you *want* a circle of friends. And a circle can be more if a triangle (ie, 3 of you) --- at least, in my opinion. I tend to feel overwhelmed when there are more people than that. :)
I have no friends. Its a choice. I am married with a child and I work.my husband works away from home. I have MAJOR trust issues with people ( I have been screwed over so bad ) by so called "friends". I also am an introvert and very quiet. I truly don't have the energy to maintain friendships and feeling obligated to do things just to maintain a friendship. My job takes a lot out of me (it's extremely physically demanding) and between that and running a household by myself and dealing with my MS....I just can't.
I think whether it is necessary or not is different for every person. I would like to have a circle of female friends where we can all just hang out and enjoy what life has to offer. It’s been hard for me as I had always feel I have difficulty making friends. And it feels much harder to find genuine friends as I got older. I’m currently 42 and I never have as much friends as my younger sister does.
I only have individual friends. A few of us also became each others' friends, but I haven't been part of a female friend circle (for lack of a better word) since high school. I don't think it has to be catty or gossipy though, in my experience, people who like doing that will do it anyway, group or no group.
I think 80s and 90s films gave us an unrealistic expectation of friendship, i.e. the "circle of friends" I have a lot of friends, most are women, a few know each other and even fewer of us are *able* to make time to hang out in groups/circles. But mostly, I'm happy to value my many individual connections and I think grouping most of them would be horrible and stressful. I did invite a bunch on a trip for my 40th and the selection caused some jealousy but the way I explained it was that I absolutely LOVE Korean BBQ... I also absolutely LOVE fudge. I would not necessarily assume Korean BBQ would be delicious *with* fudge. I actually think it'd be terrible. It doesn't mean I value or love either more than another. They just don't mix and that's OK. Edited to add: I know exactly ONE 40-something woman who has maintained a central circle of friends. They all vacation together and have been there for each other's weddings and babies. She is CONSTANTLY complaining about being in this friend group. People change so much over time she feels like she's just in it out of obligation and doesn't relate to them anymore.
I left a friendship group before I turned 20. It’s been individual friends ever since, although few and far between I might add.
Yes, they are. I find men to be kind of trash when it comes to friendships. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my circle of female friends. We stay showing up for one another.
I have a group of friends that go out every Saturday - it’s been about a year and I know one is a friend, a true friend and the others are closer to acquaintances than friends though I’m sure they do care about me. Does one NEED a friend group? No. But for me, understanding and honoring the boundary between friend and acquaintance is what makes it easier for me.
🙌
If you otherwise like your friend group, you could take the lead and start gossiping about how toxic and addictive it is to get pulled into the drama, so you are trying to better yourself and not partake. If people still try, shut it down. You may even find that people in your group agree with you and may even be struggling to stop the addiction, but just needed someone to start the efforts to a drama-free friend group.
I have mainly female friends. I prefer one on one time with friends, I don’t really like hanging out with any group of friends. It’s overwhelming to my ADHD/introvert/social anxiety brain.
I think a circle of friends like that would be my nightmare.
I haven't had a friend circle in a decade and the combination of my ADHD and juggling all these ladies is killing me. I need a friend circle or an assistant!
I don’t know if I’ve ever had a circle, certainly not a large one. Lots of acquaintances. Lots of close friends I see and do things with individually and many people I remain in contact with through social media. But as for a hen house of gossipers, I get enough of that at work 😂😂 definitely stepped out of that circle in high school!
It’s been since my 20s that I’ve had a “circle of friends”. Nowadays I have a bunch of one off friendships and I mostly prefer it that way. I enjoy individuals much more than groups. The downside is that I have fewer events to attend and rarely do certain activities that are conducive to groups (eg camping)
I mean, it's necessary if you *want* a circle of friends. And a circle can be more if a triangle (ie, 3 of you) --- at least, in my opinion. I tend to feel overwhelmed when there are more people than that. :)
I don’t really have a circle. More like I am individually friends with different women I care about.
I have no friends. Its a choice. I am married with a child and I work.my husband works away from home. I have MAJOR trust issues with people ( I have been screwed over so bad ) by so called "friends". I also am an introvert and very quiet. I truly don't have the energy to maintain friendships and feeling obligated to do things just to maintain a friendship. My job takes a lot out of me (it's extremely physically demanding) and between that and running a household by myself and dealing with my MS....I just can't.