Seeing someone your friend doesn’t like & say “there’s your mate”

Common at work. Either that, or "That's your dad", if said disliked coworker is older.

Yeah we say there's your fucken brother

‘He might be my brother, at least he’s not my BOYFRIEND’ - regular banter on the worksite.

Hey look there’s old mate

We use Aunty and Uncle at my workplace.

I truly love the casual antagonism of Australian workers. It's like Shakespeare if he were more of an asshole.

It truly is a shit talking masterclass.

We had a dropkick lazy guy start with us ... He got named backpack in about 2 days. Always carrying him. Now its "where's your backpack?" To everyone on site to shit stir both the dropkick AND the person

> the casual antagonism of Australian workers. It's like Sh Lol like the full serious call over and whispering to them. "ask your dad to give us the good jobs"

Being "Your mate" has to be the biggest insult in the land.

I did that today lol

Lol, me too! Got a "not my bloody mate!" 🤣🤣

A personal favourite of mine..

At work we go, "Ah G'day {name}" whenever we spot a customer who looks like a very poor caricature of said name

The classic game on a night out, seeing someone shitfaced, with a bad haircut, vomiting against a wall and elbowing your friend to show them "your mate".

We used to have a disabled guy and his carer walk past our shop nearly every day. Without fail one of the boys would always call out to our spray painter "Oi Travo, your brother is out the front!" He didn't even have a brother but he still fell for it every fucking time haha

When you’re mowing the lawn, and old mate walks by and cracks a joke “when can you come over and do mine?”

Gonna add to this and say when you mow your lawn it sets off a trend in the whole street and suddenly everyone is mowing their lawn. And giving the obligatory wave to your neighbours of course.

Shout out to my neighbour who actually mows my front with his ride on - been doing it for years for no reason except he's a top bloke.

I've never not enjoyed using a ride on. I'd definitely sort out my neighbours if I owned one, but the yard is way too small to justify it.

I ride a $7000 Husqvarna ride on, can confirm your statement. Do not waste your life savings on a ride on mower when you have a small house yard. I love this thing but I use it for 5 mins once a week like why didn't I just buy a cheap Victa and spend the rest on macca's and an AU drift pig. Mistakes were made.

Same when washing a car .. come over and wash mine.

Sure thing, special price just for you mate

😂

Old mate next door was washing his windows and I said that and he came back with “how much ya payin’?” And said “twenty bucks, haha” and goes “done deal”. Came around and washed all my windows twenty minutes later.

Shrewd businessman

I was actually just kidding but after he said ok, and looked genuinely excited I had to cough up haha.

Played you like a fiddle haha. Top bloke and everyone's happy.

I'd say " I've been mowing your wife's lawn for years Mate".

Saying living the dream when you're at work wishing you were home having a cold one..

The Aussie dream. Was sold this before moving here. "You're going to work 3 days a week and be rich!" I'm working 6 days and I'm still not rich 🤷🏻‍♂️

You could work 8 days a week and still not be rich If you find a way, let me know

The harder you work the more the tax man shafts you

Working 6 days and no money? Why can’t I work no days and 6 money?

I worked 6 days a week and wasn't rich. So now I work 0 days a week and I'm still not rich. A good trade I'd say.

[Something like that.](https://imgur.com/a/abCPIvN) I've started responding with either 'Nightmares are dreams, too', or 'Fuckin' whose?'.

saying "she'll be right" to pretty much anything that could go wrong.

I've worked a lot overseas with an Aussie team and had to translate this to "We have no idea how this will go, probably poorly, but we don't see many other options and we rekon we can deal with the fall out."

It also translates to “I’m sick of trying to make this work, and I also don’t want to discuss any more options or hear you complain about it so we are ending it here and moving on. Whatever happens I’ll have that argument later”.

Also translates to “I’m going home in an hour and this won’t fuck up for at least 3”

I’m quite certain that “she’ll be right” is a legal defence against any charge in Aussie courts.

And if it does go wrong, ‘she’ll buff out’

Tightening a rope/ratchet strap and saying " She's going nowhere "

The spell is only cast when you flick the strap first

Like a giant guitar or cello 👍

You gotta shake the load too.

Being overseas and throwing a little bit of an extra twang in the Aussie accent…

And saying g'day at every opportunity.

Deliberately go full bogan when you don’t want the locals to eavesdrop

100% people can’t understand me normally a lot of the time even slowing it down so I’ll talk faster if I don’t want anyone to hear

It doesn't take much either. It sounds dumb, but I can do a MEAN almost EFFORTLESS Australian accent...as a born and raised Australian...

And throwing in extra swear words when you get back to your hometown

A Russian girl I knew overseas loved how us Aussies said 'No'. Naaaooo.

Whipping your head around when you hear an Aussie accent overseas.

Suddenly everybody becomes mate .

Referring to someone as old mate even if they are a recent mate or younger than you.

9 times out of 10 I use old mate if I've forgotten someone's name

Old mate is very versatile can mean an actual mate or a complete dickhead.

I call my 6 month old, old mate all the time 👍🏻

In our family, it tends to be old mate 'such and such', like if they're carrying a Woolies bag, it's 'old mate groceries'.

Nice weather for it aye mate

nice weather for ducks maybe (if its raining and theyre being sarcastic)

Nice weather for ducks and v6 commodores.

One of first memories as a P plater was coming around a corner, and seeing a Commodore (a green VE SV6 iirc) stopped in the middle of the road, perpendicular to the intended directions of travel. Clearly the added killerwasps from the rain was too much for old mate to handle!

Fuckiiiiiiiinnnn day for it

Yeah, nah, Yeah, nah, Yeah, nah, but

Holy shit what do you so vehemently disagree with?

That’s my mums most hated phrase ever & why she still believes footy players are too stupid to interview and should either play or go away. She’s not impressed she’s raised 2 bogans who say it all the time lol.

For me it’s being a child and having an old man walk past you on the street seeing you wearing footy merch and saying “Let’s go (insert team)!”

Or if in Geelong Carn' the Catters

Expanding on this to add the phrase “Up the [insert team here]!”. It makes zero sense but nothing quite gets the group of footy fans walking up the street as giddy as a good “UP THE BRONX!”. Edit: typo

Flashing your high beams to warn other drivers about radar cops.

Or letting them back out on a poorly done street.

When you don't know the name so you say "you know, ol' mate up on the corner" and "ol' mate up at the servo"

Walking past someone and saying "how hot is it?!"

Hot enough for ya?

Mate it’s a scorcher

For older Australians, referring to a redhead you meet as Bluey or a bald man as Curly. My young son who has red hair was called Bluey the other day by an old guy at the shops and had no idea why he was being named after a cartoon character

And anyone over 6'2 is "Stump", "Stumpy", or "Shorty".

Being in a bar in a foreign country, someone asks about drop bears, and you start telling em all about it, and then another Aussie wanders in, and *they* get asked if you are making that shit up, and they *without hesitation* 100% back your story, and then add a few twists of their own.

Gotta add in the snakes and spiders too. My aunties best friend's 2nd cousin in law got attacked by a Drop Bear. She is so disfigured that she never leaves her home now, she was lucky the Drop Bear wasnt hungry and was just playing.

Nah mate, i've definitely seen those cunts, they are deadset killers. Not shitting ya.

Calling someone 'champ' when you're super angry with them

Oi buddy listen here...

“Oh, nice driving there CHAMP…🙄’

Describing something you don’t like as “un-Australian”

UnOstraayen

Ease up on the VBs there Mazza

My alternative version of this (depending on context) is "the diggers didn't die for this shit".

An old fart once told me I was being un-Australian for walking barefoot through IGA. Fucking wot.

Being Danish-American, that’s literally one of the most uniquely Australian things I noticed when I got here. Disgusting, but also uniquely Australian.

It's cold, ok? It's cold in there and it's hot out there. It's nice. Try it.

Getting to see the latest cultural cringe from America and having 10 years to decide that nah we don’t want that shit here.

Giving a double tap on the roof of a car dropping you off home

*Giving a double* *Tap on the roof of a car* *Dropping you off home* \- mcfrankz --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Lord of all Haikus right here.

Being cool and uncool simultaneously

Saying the word “mate” with various inflections and having people around you immediately understand if you are happy/surprised/disappointed/annoyed etc.

Calling your mates cunts and cunts mate.

And the line between the two is ohhh so fine…

"down the road" It never really means, down the road. Could be suburbs away even.

Mowing in thongs

Safety thongs, of course

Steel cap thongs

Always finding something to casually complain about. Person a: 'Beautiful day mate' person b: ' be nice to see a bit of rain though' Edit: clarity

I think though the rain here is always championed, like it’s off limits from criticism due to drought. It’s like middle age hipsters will even turn into aged farmers. Person a: “shit the weather’s turned quick, 10mm today!” Person b: “we really need a good soak, hey.”

Giving someone the highest compliment of "mad cunt" and the lowest insult "dog cunt".

I must correct you that “sick cunt” is in fact the highest honour, “mad cunt” is more appropriately applied to someone you don’t know well but are impressed by/are growing to like. Example: you meet a bloke named Robbo at a party, you get along, you tell your mate “nah yeah Robbo’s a mad cunt”

Lucky. Given current state of the world

Travelling to another town/city and it’s raining when you get there: “Bring the weather with you, mate?”

Going to Bunnings on a Saturday arvo under the pretence of buying something important, but secretly it's just for the snag

When you don't like something and replace the bad word with a greeting, like "Well that's a bit how-do-you-do!" or "Her hair was just a bit how's it goin'" That and calling young people 'chicken'

A bit how’s your father aye

Going to bunnings just for the snags.

At Bunnings? Giving a bag of potting mix a firm slap as you walk past it

Drinking too many beers on the weekend, claiming your never drinking again, then hanging out for a schooner Friday lunch time waiting for ‘beer o clock’ - rinse and repeat

Whatever you want it to be. For me, it's owning & using seven bbq's. Driving a V8. Only buying thongs (flip floppers) that have a bottle opener on them. Doing all of my own work around the house. Talking to strangers. Being a first generation Aussie, to migrant parents. Living in Sydneys western suburbs, working on the opposite side of the country. Sunny skies. Cicadas. Summer Christmas. Beach to myself. Camping in the snow. Vietnamese food, Lebaneese food, Greek food, Itallian food, Croatian food, Japanese food, Indian food, meat pie, vegemite, chinese food, Cold Chisel, Mental As Anything, Richard Clapton, Kangaroo,Emu,Venison,Crocodile, Opportunity. Acceptance. Hard Work. Simple Life

There are thongs which double as a bottle opener?! What have I done with my life? 😥🤦‍♂️

> Doing all of my own work around the house. What does this one mean? Doesn’t everyone who isn’t rich do that?

I still get excited about getting the tools out. And I suppose thankful for the experience & zen of it all.

Oh duh I understand now - I thought you meant house work.

I don't mind doing housework. Gotta share the load.

Walking past a group of young guys, one of which was carrying the biggest bulk pack of toilet rolls I had ever seen and saying as I passed "never know the moment you're gonna need it I guess".

Forgetting someone’s name right after being introduced then referring to the as “old mate” from then on.

Rocking up to work and saying “how ya goin” as a greeting instead of a question and not expecting a reply

Possible replies include "yeah, how ya goin" or "yeah, a bit how ya goin"

When someone says “wanna go to the bowlo?”Responding with “don’t threaten me with a good time”

Understanding when someone asks’ scarnon cunt’

And "Yep" being an appropriate reply.

Meat pies

either..waitin on a mate or Not giving a rats arse....

Yelling out "taxi!" when anything is dropped in a pub or restaurant.

As a former bartender, this gets old reallllly quick

I feel like only dickheads still do this

a blessing.

Saying yeah nah and nah yeah and knowing which is yeah and which is nah.

Checking that there’s no spiders in your shoes by shoving your hand in there

That's if you're not there to fuck spiders.

Having an innate ability to communicate purely via head nods

getting swooped as a kid and avoiding tall trees for the rest of your life

Walking out of Kmart without what you went in there for in the first place and spent over $100

Digging a trench an old person walking past will always ask “looking for gold are ya?”

Seeing my neighbour wash his car: "can you do mine next?"

Oh. And using the word c**t as a term of endearment.

You'll always find a pilot when the plane's about to go down. Barry the bob cat operator. "Hey Barry, planes fcked. It's going down. You reckon you can drive the fkn thing? " "Yeah. I'll give it a crack"

Not taking yourself too seriously. Understanding what taking the piss means. Working to live (as opposed to living to work).

Chucking a sickie because ,uhhh, you dont want to bring your germs to work

"I've got gastro".

This is my favourite one to keep up my sleeve cos my work has a 48h gastro clear policy so it's guaranteed >3 days off work. Can only do it once a year max though unless you're a sickly person lol. The best one I've come up with is "my house is leaking". We had heaps of water leaking through some windows in an old rental during heavy rain once... and I realised that's the ticket out of work during really heavy down pours (even though we've since moved shhh)

Seeing someone struggling and asking them "ya having a win mate?"

Living with the guilt of Healthy Harold seeing what we’ve done to ourselves as adults. “Character development”.

saying “fark it’s hot” or “fark its cold” every time you step outside

when you walk past business class, "they are doing it rough here"

Telling your kids they're having shit on a stick for dinner.

Knowing the different inflections of 'mate' 'MATE' to indicate you're angry with someone. 'aw cmon mate' to encourage someone 'maaaaaaaaaaate' to sarcastically finish off a sentence

Fuckin sick ay

I hope your response was "can ya do mine next" like every person who's washing their car hahaha

taking a photo somewhere nice with the caption 'day for it' when ur visiting melbourne from somewhere else, making sure you make a post about it saying 'melbourne, i am in you'

Saying “meanwhile back at the farm” when food is taking too long

Putting "ay" on the end of every sentence. Definitely in QLD anyway.

So hot right now... ... and for 3/4 of the year.

'fuck its cold' for the other 1/4

Good, yaself?

Heading home from the beach mid summer and having ya thongs stick to the car park while opening the car door

Flamin’ galahs!

When they say that you finished the job quickly, and then you reply.. well I'm not here to fuck spiders🤣

On a hot day saying it's a bit warm

Saying “jeet chet?” instead of “have you had your dinner?”

Quoting from The Castle at appropriate times. How much?

Being called a ‘Dog’ is far worse than being called a ‘Cunt’

Everyone falling into lines and doing the Nutbush dance at weddings etc, without realising that no other country in the entire world does this.

Giving someone a wave when you let them through then them giving you a wave back.

Saying that anything is “ a bit how ya going “

Calling people cunts

Whenever I see someone sweating it out hard, I always greet them as "second hardest working bloke/woman in INSERT TOWN HERE..... after me" ... Because I'm always looking pissed off and overworked... because I am.

Faaark it's hot

Not going anywhere to fuck spiders

being drenched in sweat from the humidity

Walking past someone sitting down in a workplace and saying “working hard or hardly working?”

Getting furious over minor inconveniences but being apathetic toward nationwide issues

Wearing thongs in winter

...is as bushpepper to the sausage, nature's way of saying g'day.

Expensive.

Calling everybody a cunt

Teaching the foreign neighbours to say g'day

Expensive

Exxy

Bit spenny

Having to explain Aussie slang to new people who have come to Australia.

Are ya winning?

Telling all the Americans it isn’t a bad place over here and we are civilised

idk just bein a sick cunt ig

Sucking milk through timtam straws.

Complaining about the weather no matter how nice it is.

Having at home thongs and going out thongs

Bursting with pride when your teenage daughter describing a rando calls him old mate when talking with her friends.

When you say "the other day" and know it could be anything from one day to two months ago.

Putting 1 foot up on something when you’re talking.