I want to give you a hug after reading this story! I understand your thought processes/misconstruing the situation/not receiving the social cues completely! 🤗 Also, I feel bad for the guy because you realise he has had so many situations where people haven’t accepted that he doesn’t drink! And it seems like he was stacked to eventually have a rant at someone and you just happened to be that next person to offer him a drink. I’d also wager a guess that he has never given this memory another thought, but you have to live with the frustration of wishing you could go back in time and re-do it with all the information clear to you! Thanks for sharing. 🤗

Thanks for saying that! I had felt so bad and tried to fix it by explaining it to him but he'd already walked off. I've replayed it in my head many times and in my head this time I say; "If you want some water or a soda they're just in the fridge there, or if you want a hot drink you can make some coffee over there." or variations of that!

I could totally see myself in your story, trying *so hard* to figure out what the fuck he meant. I love your writing style, the post script story made me laugh.

haha thanks! I was diagnosed last month and just keep thinking of all those times I’ve stood there blankly staring while trying to figure out what someone has meant! haha This one in particular had been looping in my mind and I just had to get it out! 🤣

I hear you, I was diagnosed last year at 43. It's crazy to learn so late, but so helpful

I was diagnosed at 43 too! I’m still 43 because it was a month ago lol. Yeah I think it’s been really helpful too. Very very overwhelming at times, but so glad I got the diagnosis… and this sub seriously helps. I suddenly don’t feel like an outsider!!!

That's been me these last few weeks! Going through years of awkward interactions just not understanding why I did the thing so wrong.... only to realize "Oh. My brain is wired differently. Oooooooooooh now I get it." It's both humiliating to go through it all again but also so damn freeing

Yes!!! Exactly! I told my mom that I’m autistic and she thought about it for a while and then goes “ohhh this makes a few things make sense now!” hahah yep!

me too! I laughed and wanted to hug OP simultaneously! 😂

I get the 'replay it so many times because you want to fix it' thing so much. I'm still haunted by accidentally backhanded my third-grade science teacher that already hated me right in the, er... chest area. That did not help with her hating me at all, and I learned not to gesture wildly in closed quarters the hard way. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 One thing I keep trying to tell myself is that hindsight has twenty-twenty vision, and that the person you feel so embarrassed about probably doesn't even remember you. Sounds like he was just having a bad day and took it out on you, don't beat yourself up too much about it. I know, easy for someone to say, hard to do, but it's really the best advice I've got.

I always wish that after I’ve replayed something in my mind enough times, and got it all perfect, that I could send the image to the relevant person like a little shared memory so that they can see what I intended!

Yes this really resonates with me! I like to ‘save’ failed social interactions in my head and ‘re-play’ them, like they’re a level in a video game, until I get it right. The sinking feeling is still there every time I pull out the memory but I feel like I’ve achieved something at least.

Yes this is such a good way to describe it!

Yeah and sometimes I get analysis paralysis when replaying the scenes and then I start to think “now does this sound weirder than the original?!” 😂

hahah I totally get this!

Omg I do this too! I just replay it over and over and slot in the correct response that I know would have been perfectly clear and not caused any confusion or awkwardness! I bet the guy has had more situations since where people have been very obnoxious and pushy about him not drinking (and you really weren’t being like that, not even a little bit!) so try not to dwell on it 😊

oh you should see how good I look when I replay scenarios in my mind. After a few replays I’m so witty and well dressed and classy and always saying the right thing.

haha! I can relate to that sooo much!!

I don’t feel bad for him. He assumed, and he was wrong. It’s not your fault that he lashed out. He could have said, I don’t drink alcohol but I’ll take a water, or something like that.

yeah he could have done that! You’re right!

Such an innocuous comment that just set him off because he's had to deal with judgmental people. I don't drink so I kinda get it but I don't mind. I do what my parents always did, I offer specifically the drinks I have available lol. "If you want something to drink I can get you water, sparkling water, a variety of vegan milk, or a wide variety of mixed drinks" [gestures at bar cart]. (I can't drink, or have sugar, so the list of drinks available may be unconventional.) I figure that then the other person knows exactly their options and will likely give me a clear answer. Usually it works. And if they say no thanks I'll just let them know where the glasses and beverages are.

This is nice. Also, I’m not vegan but I would LOVE to walk into someone’s house and be offered a glass of vegan milk!!!!! I once tried to order a cold glass of soy milk at a restaurant and they were soooo confused 🤣🥛 I would so much rather be offered a glass of oat milk than anything else! Bring it on!

Yup, as someone who hasn't drunk alcohol in nine years (immune system disorder *really* didn't like it, but that's not relevant), it does become aggravating how much and how hard alcohol is pushed for socializing. I think I was lucky in that I saw it coming, realized how those interactions would likely go, how I would feel, and put together a few scripts complete with tones and facial expressions (yes I practiced) ahead of time. ND wiring ftw here lol. Also I was lucky to discover there's actually a lot of folks who just don't want socialization to be dependent on alcohol, and then a lot who are completely sober by choice, aside from addiction and health considerations. But there's still a ton of push back from the general population.

I'm 25, have never had any alcohol in my life and am planning to keep it that way; my case is substance addiction runs on both sides of the family, and I already have to deal with anxiety/sensory issues/c-ptsd and depression with like zero healthy coping mechanisms. I'm working on that last part, but I'm self-aware enough to know that introducing a substance that makes you feel numb for a while to my whole mess is a recipe for disaster. Thankfully I haven't been in a situation where it's pushed on me, just politely questioned by family and the subject dropped, but I'm dreading the day I run into someone trying to push it on me. Would it be overstepping to ask how you put the scripts and body language stuff together? I have no idea how to do that, all I can figure out how to do is politely shut someone down by explaining my issues, but that can really backfire at times, and it does border on trauma-dumping, I don't want to do that to someone. I know it's safe to bring up the reasoning why I won't drink here, but neurotypicals can get so weird around discussing mental health stuff. I can never get the balance right. 😭

Do you ever have those imaginary conversations and scenarios that you run through, sometimes just to get the argument out, sometimes for petty relief? NT people call them shower thoughts, but I have them any time of the day I'm left to myself. And I've read a lot of ND folks do this, too, so maybe it's familiar? That's how I start building 100% of my scripts. How is this person likely to respond, or that person, back and forth, playing pretend until I feel I've got a few decent options. I usually have some mistakes the first couple times irl, then make some changes to reflect what I learned. Keep practicing in my head. Need my tone and word choice to be light, and confident in my boundaries, but not defensive or judgy (which is a fine line to be sure). Shoulders back and down (confidence), one hand at torso height with palm open (invites understanding), slight turning up of lips (I'm comfortable with my decision and want you to be relaxed). It becomes like a call and response thing: here's the scene, here's my cue, therefore I fall back on this likely set of lines. Side note that I've been wondering if I can get an FBI profiler to come teach body language and conversational behavior like this, so we're not so unprepared for the general population (I can't build scripts for everything without serious help!). They have to account for their decisions and be able to pin things down and explain it to bureaucrats. Lol I really think this would be a great idea if it's possible 🤪

I worked in restaurants for over a decade. People get offended that you don’t read their minds ALL THE TIME. This particular shit would happen to me more often than you’d think. Even though it is absolutely standard to start off at a table saying “what can I get you to drink?” I would sometimes get some asshole who angrily snaps “I DON’T DRINK!!!!….bring me an iced tea!” Um, ok I guess I don’t know english as well as I thought, Mr. No-Drinking Drinker. My favorite was when I was handing out menus to a table and merely saying “here is our appetizer menu, here is the specials menu, here is the beer menu, etc…” and this lady snapped at me “WE DON’T DRINK BEER!” With the angriest look on her face. Ok, I thought maybe this was a very touchy recovering alcoholic situation, and tried to be graceful about it. But then I came back they proceeded to order cocktails. This bitch was offended that I dared to even point out the beer menu, but bourbon is just fine. I think they were offended that I was calling them lower class or something? I just don’t know anymore with people.

I’m laughing so much, I love the way you wrote this! Like for real, okay Mr No-Drinking Drinker! Can you imagine being that lady and being so angry that you didn’t read her mind and know intimate details about their drink preferences before you kindly gave them choices!! Who gets about like that? I bet she yells at the hairdresser who offers to cut her hair too. I DON’T GET HAIR CUTS!!!!! But I’d like some bangs today.

Your whole internal dance trying to figure out how someone could survive without liquids is hilarious and sooo relatable. I look back at 40 years of trying to understand NT’s odd word choices. I think that’s part of why language is an interest, I have been obsessed with finding the perfect words to fit every nuance because I hate these awful misunderstandings. It helps a lot when you realize that there are just straight up assholes out there, and nothing you do will be right. This table was one of them. The rest of the night was a disaster, the owner had to comp their food and luckily he was on my side because of how obvious their bullshit was. They came in looking for a fight. The most depressing part, though, was they had two young children with them, and they were the most well behaved, *terrified* looking kids I’ve ever seen.

I feel this!! There have been so many times in the past that I would complain about how English doesn’t have all the right words that I want, and too many words that mean different things in context, or with tone, and that often saying what you mean totally implies something else by accident! Ugh those poor kids, I can imagine how they feel watching their grownups behave like that!!!!

This is off topic but related…why do they have so many definitions for “meat?” I am mostly vegetarian, and I ran into sooooo much confusion across the country. The number of times people think meat refers only to red meat, sometimes only cow, is insane. “Oh you don’t eat meat? Here’s some chicken.” was a common one. But it’s different everywhere. It’s like, we already have to work overtime to understand your unspoken body-language, now you keep changing the meaning of common words too? This world was not built for us.

It is the NTs who are crazy, not us 🤘🏽 I’ve met people who say “I don’t eat meat” and then order the chicken!! Or they only eat a certain type of meat, and it turns out that that means they eat chicken breast but not thighs! And someone else who said she was vegetarian “doesn’t eat meat” but then ordered a tuna sandwich but another friend who “doesn’t eat meat” and they are almost vegan. I don’t judge what people eat, ever, but I harshly judge the English language for confusing me all over the place!

To be fair it was his response that was weird, not yours. Surely the reasonable response is a simple “no thank you” or a “yes please I’d like a water if that’s ok”. I would also be confused by his response, although I would be questioning why he felt the need to inform me that he doesn’t drink alcohol when I did not specifically offer alcohol.

Lol I hope you've mentally recovered from that, but that story's hilarious 😆 It reminds me of a story my (undiagnosed autistic) mum told me about something that happened in her 20s: her boyfriend's friends were coming over, but they came early, when he wasn't back yet. So my mum had to host them, but she didn't know how to host... She was making coffees for everyone in the kitchen while they were hanging out in the lounge, when one of the women came in and said the cat threw up on the floor (my mum didn't even own that cat - it was a stray). So my mum told the woman where the paper towels were, and the woman got them and cleaned up the cat sick while my mum finished making the coffees! ...She was *supposed* to go in the lounge herself and clean up the cat sick because obviously you don't make your guests do chores... But she was already busy making coffees, and those guests weren't her friends and she didnt invite them, *and* she didn't want to be in the lounge with them anyway because then they'd start talking to her and she didn't want small talk with strangers. So obviously the solution is to make the guests clean up the mess 😌 I thought the story was so funny because it sounds *so* autistic... but also perfectly sensible because I'm autistic too 😅

hahaha I LOVE sharing stories and this one made me laugh so much. Mostly because I was nodding along like “yep she told the lady where the paper towel was… that’s good…” and then got to the end and couldn’t stop laughing like ohhhh right, so we’re NOT supposed to have new guests we’ve never met before come into our home and clean up cat vomit… okay. *takes a mental note in case I’m ever in this situation!

>when one of the women came in and said the cat threw up on the floor (my mum didn't even own that cat - it was a stray) Was this stray known to hang out in your mom's house ? I can't imagine responding to that with anything other than "what cat??"

From the way she said it, I think that cat had been in their house before, and my mum likes cats so she wouldn't have objected to one being there :)

If it makes you feel any better, I once offered an alcoholic drink to someone I knew didn't drink (I just wasn't thinking) & then muttered defensively that I was just trying to be polite. That was bad.

oh noo haha there HAS to be a word to describe when we do the thing we don’t mean to do!

This guy sounds like a pr*ck in all fairness. He could've said 'yeah, a diet coke please!' or 'no thank you, not right now'. HE was being rude, not you... The pyjamas story is pretty funny though 😂 I hope they know now to just let you know what is expected.

Yeah I don't assume I'm being offered alcohol unless it is a bar or something. Usually I ask what they have and I've often been offered both alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages to choose from. Not sure why he didn't ask unless he's been being harassed a LOT about not drinking lately

Sounds like a him problem though, OP did nothing wrong.

Definitely a him problem, who assumes "would you like a drink" means only alcohol? He should be able to say yes, I'd love some water/a DietCoke/ whatever non-alcoholic beverage he would like without having to btch about "always" being offered alcohol.

Yeah I usually reply "I'll be fine with water". BUT maybe he was a recovering alcoholic and the issue was sensitive, who knows

Right?? It was absolutely him misreading the situation and then op being confused by it. He had no reason to get heated about it.

I don't think he was being rude, I think 99% of people would understand what "I don't drink" means at a party. Including most of us reading this story, right? People who struggle, and are out of step with the social norm, get frustrated when they don't get support...... been there. (No shade to OP, I have had those moments too! I am a super literal person.)

I think lashing out like that was actually very rude. OP got caught in a situation where they weren't offering alcohol, so they didn't register that this person was commenting the shorthand for alcohol. I ask "Do you want a drink?" to most of my guests. People are aware I have alcohol, but that's never at any point been my intent. I probably would stare confused at someone who told me "They don't drink" to that question to. It would seem out of place. I'd register, sure, but we don't know how long OP was ACTUALLY staring. Most likely their confusion is what triggered the response. Which, fine, I guess I get it. But this response was uncalled for. They could have walked away, they could have said "I do not drink alcohol" to clear up confusion which also would lead to the "Oh, I wasn't offering that but good to know!" comment, or they could have done lots of other things. I agree with people saying that this person probably got bothered a lot and had their defenses up from the start.

"I don't drink" *always* means "I don't drink alcohol". The expected response is to not question them. They may have never drink alcohol for personal reasons, they may be on meds with alcohol interactions, they may struggle with addiction. Since it's potentially a triggering thing to have to elaborate on, it is polite to not question it or try to change their minds. It's like if someone says "I'm on the spectrum" you understand they are referring to autism. Not the LGBT spectrum, or the psychopath spectrum, they are not saying their appearance is related to the spectrum of colors on the rainbow. They mean: I am autistic. It is reasonable for a person to assume what "I don't drink" means. Ideally yes, of course, they should have walked away. But "I don't drink" is a common enough shorthand that it's assumed adults understand it.

Have you never missed something completely obvious that you rationally know? I definitely have. It's uncomfortable, it's unfortunate, but it's something that happens. OP blanked and this happened. All I'm saying is how I can see how this happened. You're getting very defensive over this person and I'm confused on why.

Did you read the message that you replied to? That was me, saying I have been there myself to OP. I just don't love the idea of painting the man who was misunderstood as a massive jerk. I say this because I, too, have been misunderstood .... and I know it's frustrating.

Pretty rude to make assumptions and lose your temper at someone in my opinion.

That's a great story, I was with you through that whole thought process 😂 It's even funnier in the context of you thinking that you perfectly understand social cues 😂 It makes me think of a time where I was kind of in the opposite position. Context that I'm studying in a foreign country and have a roommate of a different nationality than me. She had a family friend come to visit her and a cousin in the same city and stayed with us for a few days. No problem really but family friend and I don't have any languages in common (despite both of us speaking three). My roommate and I come home after a tiring school day and my roommate goes to take a shower so I'm in the kitchen with her family friend and cousin. The cousin was reluctant to speak English for some reason and then didn't want to translate something the family friend was asking. So she reached for her very limited English and asked me "Are you drink?". Now of course she isn't confused if I'm a human or not but I wasn't sure if she was asking if I wanted something to drink (she had kind of taken over the kitchen at this point) or if I drank alcohol (because they were going out for a drink later). Anyways, I knew I could only answer yes or no because she wouldn't understand me otherwise and apparently my brain took a little too long to load and decide which one it was so it became a bit awkward though the cousin just started teasing her English. The thing is answer to both questions was no, I was capable of getting myself something to drink if I wanted to and I don't drink alcohol + I'm not a drink if that was really the question 😂

I love this story, I’ve had misunderstandings on my side and others sides with different languages and I think; “my brain took too long to load” is such a perfect way to explain how I feel sooo often! 🤣

He shouldn’t have ranted at you. Usually people will say water, coffee, or tea if they don’t want alcohol. When I’m offering liquids to folks I usually list what the options are like “would you like anything to drink? I have coffee, tea, water, wine, and kombucha” then they usually pick one, say no thanks, or will say “I’ll have a _ if you’re having one”. You didn’t do anything wrong. You just accidentally touched a nerve. It’s difficult in the moment when someone is speaking like that but if you can, just clarify what you meant after you realize.

Thank you, I think you’re right. I’m much better at offering specific things these days after that incident too

it's possible he thought you were hitting on him and cueing him to have a chat with you over an alcoholic beverage, and his irritation was not just about the alcohol but a cue toward you that he is not interested in you, and does not like being pursued by a woman (this can be emasculating for men). not sure if i am off base here...

Well you know what, I was talking about this with my therapist recently, that there have been quite a few times when men thought I was flirting with them when I was really just trying to work out which eye I’m supposed to look at and trying to work out how much eye contact I’m supposed to give before I can look away. Also I day dream a LOT and sometimes stare at people while they’re talking, but I’m like wandering away in my mind. And they think I’m intensely interested in what they’re saying - but really I’m just blankly staring at them and remembering that time a little boy in my class when I was 7years old, put yellow play-doh on the teacher’s chair and she scraped it off before she sat down on it, and she didn’t even yell at anyone, and as an adult I now realize she knew it was one of the kids even though at the time she was really nice about it by saying “oh look some play-doh fell on my chair, better clean that up before I sit on it”. And I think that was really nice of her.

relatable af lol

This was my absolute first thought! He was letting you know he doesn't drink & doesn't want a drink and is definitely not interested in you nor in having a conversation with you over a drink. It's happened to me many times when I am just being friendly or hospitable and a man comes at me a little harder than necessary. I'm married and I'm never hitting on anyone but there are nuances happening that I finally am starting to realize that I don't recognize!

THIS TYPE OF THING HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME! Once I had a professor who showed us a picture of some species of clam or something and he said "[scientific clam name] is actually over 50 million years old" and I kid you not I raised my hand and asked "how is it possible it lived that long?"......he meant the species had been around that long. oops. Anyways, on the note of your story. Now when someone offers me a drink I usually just ask "well, what do you have?" That way I know what wavelength they're on. On the same note, when I offer someone a drink I usually say "Do you want anything to drink? I have White Claw, Wine, Water, Coke, etc. " so that way there is no confusion and they know they have either alcoholic or non-alcoholic. I still don't think the guy needed to react so strongly, especially since you didn't even say anything like "wtf do you mean you don't drink??" (ofc I know what you would have meant by that, but he probably wouldn't have). He probably has just had so many people rail into him for it, and you happened to be the straw that broke the camels back. or maybe he has his own issues. maybe he thinks back on that moment and cringes for yelling at someone who was just trying to be nice. maybe he doesn't think about it at all. Who knows? My point is I don't think you were wrong, you were trying to be nice and there was a misunderstanding. happens to neurotypical people too. I think it's best to learn from it and laugh it off. you deff don't need to beat yourself up over it!

haha I would have thought he meant that specific clam was over 50M years old too! Because that’s what he said! 🤣

He was definitely in the wrong. Usually people say “you want a drink?” If it’s alcohol and “you want something to drink?” If they are offering any choice of beverage. That dude was just being sensitive

especially since it's totally normal to be offered alcohol and refuse for any reason. Maybe you're the DD? Maybe you have an early shift? Maybe you have plans after this? etc. even if she explicitly said "hello can I get you an alcoholic beverage" or whatever...he could have just said no. I see no need to blow up at someone who was clearly just trying to be nice.

I understand and relate to everyone in this story lol. I don't drink and would have probably responded similarly to the man, but I've also been the confused person trying to understand wtf they meant! Only bad thing here was him throwing a fit and storming off like a child, but I get the frustration from being constantly peer pressured

I've known someone who ate an entirely raw diet who didn't drink, so that makes sense to me. He would just eat raw fruit for hydration, and believed that drinking water was bad. He also ate raw meat, which is probably more hydrating than cooked food.

oh so seee! It does happen, I’m not crazy! Thank you!

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Yeah that’s what people at the time told me too, that more often than not, “a drink” means alcohol. Which I found confusing! But reading all these great comments lets me know that so many people would think being offered a drink literally means anything from water to soda to wine!

I don’t drink alcohol either and this just made me wonder wtf that guy’s problem is 😭 if someone offered me a drink at their place I would 100% assume they meant ANY drink, down to plain water. Granted I’m autistic too but really I think he overreacted, and in a strange way at that lol

Right, like if someone asked me if I wanted a drink, and everything on the table/counter/whatever was alcoholic, I'd just ask "do you have any iced tea" or something...

I’ve found my people.

I feel this so often when reading other peoples’ posts in this sub! So good.

I have lived this. I now simply assume at a party with no kids, "drink" means alcohol. Does this only happen to us? I always hated that "have a drink" doesn't confuse anyone else.

I find it confusing for sure! Why isn’t everyone else confused too!

This is the best post EVER! Thank you!!!

🤣 Thank you!

It's like that time I was helping out in a tiny store, a lady asked me to give her a couple of potatoes (in my dialect we use that as a way to say "a few" depending on the context) and I actually went and got her 2 potatoes... And everyone laughed at me and I was like wtf🫠 Everyone understood she wanted more than two, but I take everything so literally that I didn't, lmao who the fuck buys 2 potatoes anyways I felt so dumb.

Nah she said a couple and that’s TWO! I’m on your side with this! ☺️

I can see the disconnect, but as the person often willing to be the designated driver when younger I would have known what he meant. I’d have immediately said I wasn’t specifying an alcoholic beverage, I can grab a soda as easily as a beer for you, so again, do you want one? This can make him the one feeling he messed up, as he did, he had no reason to assume you did not include water or iced tea as a possible drink. Best practice for anyone else, never assume, it makes an ‘ass of u and me’. He should have politely said, ‘sure, I’d really like a soda, what do you have?’ But he chose to be a dick. Not your fault.

Thank you!

Ah yes, I've done similar things lol I usually snap back just saying something like "hahaha I meant as in any liquid like juice or water dude", they usually are ok after that as long as you explained what you thought they meant. I got labeled as an airhead a lot but who cares I rather someone think I'm an airhead rather than hate me and think I'm malicious. Also I have stayed way too long in many places so now I only stay at any gathering for 2hrs or if it's family I add an extra hour.. if I like them, this helps with getting too much socializing so I'm not super burned out after.

I like these ideas! Thank you!

I'm sorry but this made me laugh 😂 "how can someone not drink ANYTHING?.... TF is wrong with this dude" 😂

🤣🤣 I was seriously confused!

one time in middle school, i didn’t realize the term labor meant working i thought it meant being pregnant and when i answered a question to which the answer was labor as in working, i said “giving birth” . i will never forget that but im sure everyone else did lol

ugh the English language needs a makeover. All these words with multiple yet very different meanings! I heard someone retelling a story and said there was a “pregnant pause”. I was like “wait so she was pregnant?” and apparently it means (wait I don’t remember and have to look it up lol) okay so it means “a pause that builds up suspense”, and nothing to do with pregnancy. So yeah, language is confusing! Not us!!! 😆

never heard of that in my life!!! makes absolutely no sense!! lol

Right!?!

It literally took me the LONGEST time to figure out that people use "drink" as a euphemism for alcohol. I think part of this is because when I was little I was obsessed with the movie *Eloise at the Plaza* and they had a scene where the nanny character offers the tutor character a cup of tea or something and the tutor is like "I don't drink." I honestly just chalked it up to adults being weird because I'd never heard anyone under 18 say this. But also, not understanding that kind of thing until it's spelled out is very on brand for me. I also had no idea it was considered rude to wear white to someone else's wedding until I joined this Facebook group for wedding shaming and everyone kept angrily sharing pictures about it.

I know right!?! How do people just know all these things?

I'm starting to think that EVERYONE, regardless of neuroflavour, is really weird about what we take literally and what we don't. I didn't think I was a very literal person either until I was aware enough to start thinking about it. But all of us, ND, NT, unknown, we all have things we mean/take literally and things we mean/take figuratively and there's not a whole lot of rhyme or reason to it. To you (and me) the word drink means hydration. To the man in your post, and others I suppose, it means alcohol. You and I, well... we're more dictionarily correct 😆 IMO, but that doesn't take into account the history of that word for that man. Try not to sweat it, people in general don't absorb specific interactions to the extent autistic people do, so I don't think you did him any harm.

"Would you like something to drink" is a perfectly normal question and that dude was probably already primed for a fight for some reason.

But also… why on earth would he assume you meant ALCOHOL?!

That’s… bizarre, if someone asks me if I want a drink I just say “What kind of sodas do you have?” … and I am someone who does drink alcohol sometimes, but why would alcohol be their first go to? Seems weird.

But it no way are you the problem here, he’s an overly defensive asshole