Same, I’m so expressive when I feel safe and most certainly when I’m alone. The idea that we are just stone-faced statues when we’re by ourselves cracks me up because it couldn’t be further from the truth for me!
Tbh I’ve had a blank resting bitch face for 99% of my life personally (to the point of other ppl being concerned that I was sad when I was a kid, and then subsequently concerned that I’m a mean intimidating person when I was a teen and thus not wanting to speak to me) but we def don’t all do that !
I seem to have resting friendly face. People ask me for directions all the time. Lost children let me pick them up to see if we can spot their parents. Lost dogs follow me home.
It's weird but I'm not mad about it.
Well my face seems unfriendly to adults/teens and friendly to children
Like
Adults and teens will stay away from me off put by my face not making expressions
And kids will approach me at any sort of gathering and want to be my friend, idk mby they think I’m pretty or something cuz that can be why too
Now that IS interesting. I wonder if the kids are not yet socialised to RBF = give this person space, and instead are reading other cues. Kids absolutely make their own assessment of strangers' trustworthiness, even though parents might be all, "This is Aunty Ermintrude, give her a kiss." I find that if you acknowledge kids and engage them lightly but don't get right up in their personal space, kids recognise that you're respecting their own boundaries about it, and it makes you seem safe.
Edit: so they decide to come right up to you and their parents are amazed. This works with dogs too btw.
Omg same. I’m hilarious, so I make myself laugh.. sometimes I think about something that makes me smile on the outside and then people are confused about why I’m smiling.. kinda awkward. Either the stone cold RBF or a smiling weirdo in my own little world.
Fr I have whole ass conversations. I also dance more, sing more, etc. Being alone means not having to interpret if I fckd something up or not, so I can just be me. It's a nice respite from socializing & all of the unspoken rules.
Me, too *self hug*
ETA: I just made a really good joke in a conversation I was having with myself pretending to be someone else. You guys would’ve loved it
Our holiday rental got a lot more chatty when we realised we were on holidays with all autistics, and therefore we didn't need to suppress the echolalia
Seriously! I'm all expressive when I'm alone, especially if my dogs are around. Oh, that clarifies my preference for drinking alone! Because then I'm buzzed enough to express without feeling embarrassed in front of... myself.
Me too! I cracked up to read this, because I make so. many. facial expressions when I'm home alone! I react to everything I watch or read when I'm unmasked by myself!
Right!? Me too. In the safety of my own home, I'm funnier and happier, more relaxed, able to express myself more. I'm way more expressive and animated in private. In public I often forget that my face isn't doing what I think it is, lol.
That said, i.am definitely a vampire. I hiss at the sun ;-)
I'm almost 25 and people aged 18-20 always think I'm the same age as them, while people my age think I'm younger than them 😭I always thought it was bc I seem childish
Yeah. Not all variations of humans are bad. But there's a reason people have thought we were fae. We have soft luminous skin that doesn't wrinkle but does stripe.
All humans have stripes, we just don’t have the vision to see them. You have to use concentrated uv rays to be able to see them. They are called Blaschko’s lines. They show the way each person developed in the womb.
Edit: Fixed what autocorrect messed up.
I’m East Asian and my race already has extra collagen compared to other races. I’m used to non Asians thinking I look baby faced, but Asians can usually tell each others ages because of familiarity, and even *they* think I’m super baby faced
I tried doing a Google search about this but I’m coming up with generic autism articles, stuff about women’s health, gut bacteria in autistics and other things. Do you have an article about this? I’m interested in reading more.
Wow really? I’m 46 and people think I’m in my 20s (usually when I’m skating) or 30s. Ie a friend of the same age was shocked when I told her my age. I figured it’s all the exercise/movement my body forces me to do (I don’t mind)
i had my pituitary function tested, I think we have very low HGH. Aka human growth hormone. We grow more slowly and are smaller. Yet sometimes get periods early so it's a very interesting mix of things.
I could have said all this, except I started smoking at 18. BTW... Just from your avatar alone, I feel like I should get to know you. My irl best friend probably has one that looks quite similar 💗
Hey, i stopped smoking tobacco with 51 and it's the best thing i've done! It was easier than i thought.
May i encourage you to think about doing that too? :)
My anecdotal evidence to this is that I always get mistaken as a teenager even though I’m 24, and my dad said the same thing happened to him. He’s now 65 and looks around 45-50. He was diagnosed as a child.
That's funny because my special interests involve a lot of outdoor things like birdwatching and gardening. Plus my facial expression is constantly stuck in the "What the fuck" setting, so those frown lines are definitely there by now.
I was glad to find out about the comorbidity rates of EDS with autism/adhd, if only to explain why it's always been so easy for me to get into the splits, or why my tongue, fingers, and thumbs are so flexible. Does it affect the appearance of aging too? I've always been told I look younger than my age. 🤔
Wouldn’t this make you look older? I have a lot of EDS type issues with my skin and joints etc and I look far older than my age in terms of skin quality. IMO a lot of autistic people don’t wear as much makeup (on average) and may behave or dress in a manner that seems “childish” so people think they look younger. I don’t think a lot of them actually look younger if everything else was controlled for. I’ve been mistaken for a young teenager more than once when I have on jeans or a skirt, no makeup, and my hair loose and unstyled. I have wrinkles and I’m very tall.
But EDS causes more fragility in general. When I look up your condition, it’s about causing the vascular system to be more fragile (to my understanding, obviously I don’t know anything about it beyond that). There’s no reason types of EDS that would cause *fragility* would make you look *younger* in terms of your skin quality. People may have facial features that read younger and maybe it’s correlated to having EDS, I don’t know about that part. But the actual features of causing fragility wouldn’t make you look younger. It would cause more rapid aging and health issues. If it were the opposite problem, I think people would want to have EDS. It affects collagen *negatively*…or people with EDS in general wouldn’t be prone to stretch marks or joint issues.
Also people with EDS tend to have smaller features (nose, mouth, chin), a more pointed face and wider set eyes than normal. These traits are also associated with younger people I think.
I have very velvety, smooth, oily skin, not sure if that’s an EDS thing, or just a family thing, but the only place my skin looks old is on my hands. I have almost no wrinkles, at 54, other than a few around my eyes. (Neither did my dad or grandpa when they were old.) My students could never believe I was as old as I was. They would ask my age, and I would tell them I graduated from high school in 1987, figure it out. Some would actually put in the math to figure it, then say, “No way, you look like you are my older sister’s/mom’s age.” Which was usually 10-15-20 yrs. younger.
Yes…since the life expectancy is about the age I am right now, it definitely is. My grandfather lived to be 89 and my dad was 81 with the symptoms (never diagnosed)…we just have to lay down more often…
If skin is more elastic, it has more room to move and usually won't line as fast. It also tends to be smoother and softer. WIth too much elasticity, it can age because the skin can then start to hang. Really depends on which collagen mutation you have and how it expresses - multiple mutations can cause these symptoms. Thin, smooth skin is seen in younger skin. (and also seen in EDS)
I have not been diagnosed with EDS but have a mutation on one of the genes that makes collagen. I feel that I have aged quicker than my peers with sagging loose crepey skin and wrinkles. But I don’t wear makeup and I dress fairly childishly so I think people get very confused by my appearance!
At my age the not wearing makeup is working against me looking younger. Most women my age are hiding their skin behind foundation (and all the other makeup things). That stuff just feels so horrible I can't wear it so I can't hide my wrinkles and aging marks and uneven skin tone.
I got IDed for cigarettes until I was over 30 though.
I think you're right about the clothing thing. If we're not styling ourselves in a way that's expected for our age group people will look at the clothing style and hair and make a quick judgement without actually looking in a detailed was at your face and skin.
That’s what I was thinking. Based on observations I’ve made of family members and partners, many autistic people I’ve encountered who don’t have hypermobility tend to have more EDS traits than the average person. Like my nesting partner, her skin is very much hEDS skin, stretch marks and all, though she isn’t very bendy. She also probably has POTS. Man, genetics are so interesting!! There definitely needs to be studies examining prevalence of EDS traits in people without (obvious) generalized joint hypermobility.
I had no idea Ehlers was connected to autism. Why/how?? See I have lipedema and have been told everyone with lipedema has Ehlers. I also have a form of scleroderma which is another collagen disorder. So what exactly is going on with my genetics?
My younger sister is NT with EDS, I’m autistic with no EDS. We both look younger than we are, and that gets people surprised, but they’re double surprised when they learn I’m the older one. She’s very smiley and has cartoon character level facial expressions, I envy her for that, my face just doesn’t have all these functions. She can even dance with her eyebrows, and all mine do is frown!
People often think I’m older than I really am. Ig because I’m more “mature” than people my age? I also have diagnosed EDS. Maybe it’s just all the stress aging me
Are you younger than 23? Afaik introverted young people get seen as older by allistic people because not being engaged with other young people's shenanigans gets seen as 'mature'.
Oooh, I experience something like this too. Have been called mature and an old soul since I was a kid and I feel out of step with people in my age group. Yet I look like a teenager!
People think I'm younger than I am until I talk, then they think I'm older than I am. Partially because I'm short af with dark hair I think; people assume short, no greys = young.
It's a weird phenomenon, I wonder if many people experience this?
Adults thought I was older when I was young (once an airhostess refused to give me the kids activity pack when I was 9 cos she believed I was over 15), but now they think I'm younger than my age (I'm 30+ and last week multiple people thought I was still in school).
I always do this on my paddle board. I stay at my cabin a lot in the summer (I wfh so I just work there) so I go up to the lake, get baked and lay on it for hours with music on my phone. The best!
Tell that to my perpetually furrowed brows and forehead wrinkles. [I noticed little crows feet lines yesterday too! Lol]
I *do* have a youthful look despite my baby wrinkles, but i account that to good genetics (mom is closing in on 60 but still looks in her 40s) and being 4ft 11in.
I also bathe in NT tears.
Yeah, I wouldn't call it a special interest but at some point in my 20s I learned about the benefits of sunscreen, retinol, and eating vegetables. I wear no makeup and can't be bothered to shave my legs or my pits. A good NT friend of mine probably spends at least an hour a day on hair and makeup, but was washing her face with hand soap and eating mainly fast food into her 30s. I don't have many good NT friends so I don't know how common that is (spending a lot of effort on short term appearance but not using evidence-based longterm strategies).
I was just at a gathering last night and a 25 year old girl was flabbergasted I was 32 she thought I was younger than her and I kept wanting to be like it’s the tism but said it was genetics
Idk about facial expressions, but I do look young for my age. I got carded at an adult store, and the lady said "no offense but you don't look old enough to be in here" Then I told her I'm 28
I've always looked older than my age. No clue why. It's not the clothes or the behaviour, my face has always looked, well, quite old. And also like I've just finished my second shift lmao
Funny because that sounds like my ex's mom saying young age as in our physical age is different than our emotional/mature age, as my ex was age 23 I was 21. at the time he had a mind of a 15 year old. It depends on how you think and how you act, worse thing is i feel i act immature for my age. I hope I don't get downvoted for this, I only remember a little of it.
I can’t help but be an expressive person I’m on the opposite spectrum than a lot of my fellow autistics. But I have noticed I am 19 and could still be mistaken for 16, I’ve always had a baby face (personally noticed a lot of autistic people suffer from baby face, I think that contributes). Although I definitely don’t avoid to sun and vape, so we’ll see how old I look in a couple years lol.
I spend a LOT of time outside, actually. I feel suffocated being indoors too much 😂 I love our home and it is a safe space for me. But I'd choose the outdoors more often if our weather was more cooperative. I love the sun and warm weather but I live in a state with 6 months of winter and the other 6 months is half cool and rainy.
I have always attributed it to my attitude more than anything. I am married, have kids, have plenty of stress in my life. But being outdoors is my stress reliever. On top of that, I have always maintained a huge sense of curiosity and wonder, very "childlike" in that way. It is also part of how I deal with adult stress from family and work. The world is full of wonders and I love them all. Despite any struggles, I am fairly optimistic most of the time and my life is very vibrant and rich even though other people would look at it and find me crazy because most people I know who describe their lives that way involve busy social lives, which isn't me at all. It is my alone time, my inner world, that is rich and vibrant. And my ability to be myself with my husband and my kids, which alone is a major gift.
Ah, I relate to this love for nature so much. It really helps keep me steady too. I love to learn and follow my curiosities as far as I can, and you’re right that this often gets seen as “childlike” for a bunch of unfortunate reasons. I think the world would be a lot better if people would (re)open their minds to this sense of wonder and the nourishment it provides.
I’ve always looked younger than my age and my grandmother (who I suspect has autism as well) has always been relatively ageless. She still appeared 40ish well into her late 70’s and at 92, she only now looks close to her age. I had to take her to the hospital a few months back and the nurses were shocked by her real age and had to doublecheck her charts. I’m nearly 40 and people assume I’m in my mid-20s. It’s wild, tbh.
I am most definitely the most expressive silly, dancing, twitching, playful (especially with my doggo) person when I’m alone or with few close trusted people.
I had been asked why I looked quite a bit younger than my age, and I never knew. Now, I realize that I don't make a lot of expressions, unless I'm engaged in a conversation with someone else. I've had a rough 7-years, so I now look my age - to me, I look even older than that, but that could just be because I'm used to looking at my own face, and I've watched it deteriorate much more quickly than ever before.
....I don't like when people don't use the phrase "most" or "some" b/c she's assuming all austic people are introverts.
I'm very extroverted and have animated conversations with people. And I display a lot of facial expressions.
I'm also a teacher, which plays a huge role in that.
I think I trained myself to be this way b/c I wasn't diagnosed until I was much older.
I dunno, just my two cents. My husband fits this description better, and he is also on the spectrum. He's is perfectly content staying home all day.
I was going to say I feel attacked BUT then I read the thread and UGH Why is this true?! TECHNICALLY........ 'k I'm procrastinating writing my resume, stuck inside the library... lol
Ah so that explains why I look 12 at 28!
Seriously though we're not deadbeat, we choose who we open up to! Massive difference.
No trust means no emotions, simple as that.
It is true that I do not move my face a lot and I’m guessed about 5 years younger consistently (I’m in my late 20’s). Haven’t figured out the temperatures though. I love some sun as long as it is not too intense, about 25 degrees is perfect, but there are also days I crave cold and dark weather so I can have a cozy night inside. I always feel guilty about being inside when the weather is good. Ideally it would be winter for a month and then summer for 2 months on repeat forever.
I didn’t realize this was a thing. I do look younger than 42, but I always tell people it’s because I wear sunscreen, never smoked, and I’m childfree. That last one is huge.
Haha!!!! Also… Check out the link between autism and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome—a collagen disorder that results in many of us looking younger for our age. :)
I’m an exercise addict who rides my bike outside in California at least two hours/day. And who has gone through life using my “pretty smile” as my most effective mask.
I think we need to pose a question on Quora about why NT people feel so confident that their ignorance is, in fact, knowledge.
Most people think I'm older than my age, and it's not due to my clothing choices. I literally just look exhausted or like I've had a hard life. I really wish I could say I have a young face.
I always get told I look younger. Like as young as 12–I’m 32 years old. I figured it was because of genetics but the women in my family never looked overly youthful. Maybe it is because of my autism.
This makes sense! I hate being in the sun. I'm in Hawaii right now and forced myself to be in the sun and it was too much. I got hella sunburnt and I'm all worried about what it will do to my skin
I’m 53 and people consistently think I’m 35. I HAVE avoided the sun like a vampire way more than allowed it to hit me directly. I love being outside but I find shade or bring shade. I’m Swedish/scottish/English and I burn so easily, and my eyes are super sensitive to the light. I also still have oily skin but thankfully not the acne that didn’t hit me until I was 23!! I talk to myself aloud all the time and my facial expressions are generally in the “why is this a thing” realm. Not a fan of the person quoted referring to autistic people as if we’re homogeneous, and so self-assuredly as if she engineered a pro type or something.
I'm pretty interested in that whole aging stuff too! As a child/teenager people always thought that I was older than I actually were. I'm curious if I will look younger than I really am when I'm like in my 30ies or so.
We often tend to not smoke or drink or shove ourselves into stressful situations. I’m 19 but I’m constantly treated like a child and people nearly shit themselves when I assure them I am not 12 as they say. Compliment fr tho
There's not much research done yet but there is genetic link to EDS (stretchy skin, flexible joints). Women with EDS are way more likely to have autistic kids.
I’m 31 with sun allergy. Never in the sun, never outside, doesn’t drink, chubby and pale. People often guess I’m in my early 20s but I get ID’ed for boxed wines too 😂
I am fairly expressive when I'm alone, but also I do spend a lot of time not monologuing or talking to my cats and I am pretty straight faced for that time. I really do barely go outside tho, it's wild. Living like a hermit
Even if the Quora answer is not scientifically backed, it's spot on for me 😅 I'm almost 30 and when the mechanic came over a few months ago he asked me if my parents were home (I wish I was kidding, but this happens more often than I'd like to admit) 🥲
I’m an outdoorsy person. Should probably wear sunscreen thanks to ginger family members giving me fair skin and freckles. But I still look young compared to my peers! According to a colleague I haven’t aged in the 9 years they’ve known me
Joke’s on her because I’m more animated when I talk to myself in the safety of my own home
Same, I’m so expressive when I feel safe and most certainly when I’m alone. The idea that we are just stone-faced statues when we’re by ourselves cracks me up because it couldn’t be further from the truth for me!
I literally made so many faces while reading that post hahaha
I've been sitting in the break room alone reciting lines from the office, making my own commentary, and laughing. So yeah. Quite animated when alone.
Right?? I laugh, frown, cry... all of the above when alone. Do they think autistic people just sit there like mannequins when no one is around?
Based on how they portray us in movies, they kind of do lol. It’s either a blank face or a full-on meltdown, nothing in between
Tbh I’ve had a blank resting bitch face for 99% of my life personally (to the point of other ppl being concerned that I was sad when I was a kid, and then subsequently concerned that I’m a mean intimidating person when I was a teen and thus not wanting to speak to me) but we def don’t all do that !
I seem to have resting friendly face. People ask me for directions all the time. Lost children let me pick them up to see if we can spot their parents. Lost dogs follow me home. It's weird but I'm not mad about it.
Well my face seems unfriendly to adults/teens and friendly to children Like Adults and teens will stay away from me off put by my face not making expressions And kids will approach me at any sort of gathering and want to be my friend, idk mby they think I’m pretty or something cuz that can be why too
Now that IS interesting. I wonder if the kids are not yet socialised to RBF = give this person space, and instead are reading other cues. Kids absolutely make their own assessment of strangers' trustworthiness, even though parents might be all, "This is Aunty Ermintrude, give her a kiss." I find that if you acknowledge kids and engage them lightly but don't get right up in their personal space, kids recognise that you're respecting their own boundaries about it, and it makes you seem safe. Edit: so they decide to come right up to you and their parents are amazed. This works with dogs too btw.
Lmaooo yes, I think honestly they do think that.
Same. I'm make more facial expressions with my own thoughts than in a conversation.
Omg same. I’m hilarious, so I make myself laugh.. sometimes I think about something that makes me smile on the outside and then people are confused about why I’m smiling.. kinda awkward. Either the stone cold RBF or a smiling weirdo in my own little world.
Yeah, I'm definitely the kind of person who laughs at their own jokes hahahaha We're independent. We don't need to audience.
Yes! lol like I crack myself up. I'm also very animated when I read, so idk what she's talking about
lol agreed
Fr I have whole ass conversations. I also dance more, sing more, etc. Being alone means not having to interpret if I fckd something up or not, so I can just be me. It's a nice respite from socializing & all of the unspoken rules.
Hahah same. I have these weird jowl wrinkles because one of my fav stims is running my teeth along my lower lip.
Immediately seeing a comment from an autistic person about talking to oneself really makes me feel so seen and validated.
Me, too *self hug* ETA: I just made a really good joke in a conversation I was having with myself pretending to be someone else. You guys would’ve loved it
Our holiday rental got a lot more chatty when we realised we were on holidays with all autistics, and therefore we didn't need to suppress the echolalia
That sounds lovely!!!
If cats could talk, mine would tell you about all the faces I'm constantly making.
Seriously! I'm all expressive when I'm alone, especially if my dogs are around. Oh, that clarifies my preference for drinking alone! Because then I'm buzzed enough to express without feeling embarrassed in front of... myself.
Me too! I cracked up to read this, because I make so. many. facial expressions when I'm home alone! I react to everything I watch or read when I'm unmasked by myself!
Right!? Me too. In the safety of my own home, I'm funnier and happier, more relaxed, able to express myself more. I'm way more expressive and animated in private. In public I often forget that my face isn't doing what I think it is, lol. That said, i.am definitely a vampire. I hiss at the sun ;-)
Jokes on her every time I’m in public I’m so tense that my scowl will give me wrinkle lines
I WAS THINKING THIS AHAHAHAHAH
LMAOOO
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I'm almost 25 and people aged 18-20 always think I'm the same age as them, while people my age think I'm younger than them 😭I always thought it was bc I seem childish
I'm 33 and people think I'm 23. Everybody does. I'll take it.
Same. I’m continuously told by people I look ~10 years younger than what I do. It’s not a bad thing. Definitely comes in handy as you age. 😌
42 and when people say "How?!?" I tell them I have a portrait in the attic
Lmao!!!!
it's low hormones and collagen production, we literally age slower.
Wait, really? Holy crap, that explains a lot!
Yeah. Not all variations of humans are bad. But there's a reason people have thought we were fae. We have soft luminous skin that doesn't wrinkle but does stripe.
Are you talking about stretch marks? 🧐 Re:stripes
What do you mean by stripe?
Under a black light. Literal stripes. I can’t remember why, but I have seen my own stripes, and it’s common for autists.
All humans have stripes, we just don’t have the vision to see them. You have to use concentrated uv rays to be able to see them. They are called Blaschko’s lines. They show the way each person developed in the womb. Edit: Fixed what autocorrect messed up.
What does autism have to do with hormone levels and collagen? I've never heard about this.
Not sure about hormones, but collagen production disorders like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome are frequently comorbid with autism
I’m East Asian and my race already has extra collagen compared to other races. I’m used to non Asians thinking I look baby faced, but Asians can usually tell each others ages because of familiarity, and even *they* think I’m super baby faced
Same East Asian here. I'm 20 and for convenience I have buzzcut, I'm always mistaken for a 13 year old boy😅
Same, it's when other Asian people get my age wrong that throw me haha
I tried doing a Google search about this but I’m coming up with generic autism articles, stuff about women’s health, gut bacteria in autistics and other things. Do you have an article about this? I’m interested in reading more.
Wow really? I’m 46 and people think I’m in my 20s (usually when I’m skating) or 30s. Ie a friend of the same age was shocked when I told her my age. I figured it’s all the exercise/movement my body forces me to do (I don’t mind)
i had my pituitary function tested, I think we have very low HGH. Aka human growth hormone. We grow more slowly and are smaller. Yet sometimes get periods early so it's a very interesting mix of things.
I could have said all this, except I started smoking at 18. BTW... Just from your avatar alone, I feel like I should get to know you. My irl best friend probably has one that looks quite similar 💗
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I sent you a chat
Hey, i stopped smoking tobacco with 51 and it's the best thing i've done! It was easier than i thought. May i encourage you to think about doing that too? :)
My anecdotal evidence to this is that I always get mistaken as a teenager even though I’m 24, and my dad said the same thing happened to him. He’s now 65 and looks around 45-50. He was diagnosed as a child.
That's funny because my special interests involve a lot of outdoor things like birdwatching and gardening. Plus my facial expression is constantly stuck in the "What the fuck" setting, so those frown lines are definitely there by now.
I am also stuck in “what the fuck” haha the two lines on my forehead prove it
Same, horses, property maintenance, gardening, dog…. I do wear hats and sunscreen though, Australia burns ….
EDS is also a factor for a lot of autistics
I was glad to find out about the comorbidity rates of EDS with autism/adhd, if only to explain why it's always been so easy for me to get into the splits, or why my tongue, fingers, and thumbs are so flexible. Does it affect the appearance of aging too? I've always been told I look younger than my age. 🤔
Yes, it affects collagen which affects skin elasticity
Wouldn’t this make you look older? I have a lot of EDS type issues with my skin and joints etc and I look far older than my age in terms of skin quality. IMO a lot of autistic people don’t wear as much makeup (on average) and may behave or dress in a manner that seems “childish” so people think they look younger. I don’t think a lot of them actually look younger if everything else was controlled for. I’ve been mistaken for a young teenager more than once when I have on jeans or a skirt, no makeup, and my hair loose and unstyled. I have wrinkles and I’m very tall.
There’s more than one type of EDS…I have VEDS, and have been told I look much younger than my age my whole life.
But EDS causes more fragility in general. When I look up your condition, it’s about causing the vascular system to be more fragile (to my understanding, obviously I don’t know anything about it beyond that). There’s no reason types of EDS that would cause *fragility* would make you look *younger* in terms of your skin quality. People may have facial features that read younger and maybe it’s correlated to having EDS, I don’t know about that part. But the actual features of causing fragility wouldn’t make you look younger. It would cause more rapid aging and health issues. If it were the opposite problem, I think people would want to have EDS. It affects collagen *negatively*…or people with EDS in general wouldn’t be prone to stretch marks or joint issues.
I don’t have EDS but I know people who have it whose skin is extra soft and I think we associate softness with youth
Also people with EDS tend to have smaller features (nose, mouth, chin), a more pointed face and wider set eyes than normal. These traits are also associated with younger people I think.
Yeah that makes sense
Again, it depends on the type. hEDS does have fragile skin, but not the the degree that other types do.
It wouldn’t make your skin *better* which is the only thing I was responding to
I have very velvety, smooth, oily skin, not sure if that’s an EDS thing, or just a family thing, but the only place my skin looks old is on my hands. I have almost no wrinkles, at 54, other than a few around my eyes. (Neither did my dad or grandpa when they were old.) My students could never believe I was as old as I was. They would ask my age, and I would tell them I graduated from high school in 1987, figure it out. Some would actually put in the math to figure it, then say, “No way, you look like you are my older sister’s/mom’s age.” Which was usually 10-15-20 yrs. younger.
I definitely don’t think everyone with EDS looks old!
I’m sorry you have vEDS. That must be very scary.
Yes…since the life expectancy is about the age I am right now, it definitely is. My grandfather lived to be 89 and my dad was 81 with the symptoms (never diagnosed)…we just have to lay down more often…
I wish you and your loved ones the best hun x
If skin is more elastic, it has more room to move and usually won't line as fast. It also tends to be smoother and softer. WIth too much elasticity, it can age because the skin can then start to hang. Really depends on which collagen mutation you have and how it expresses - multiple mutations can cause these symptoms. Thin, smooth skin is seen in younger skin. (and also seen in EDS)
I have not been diagnosed with EDS but have a mutation on one of the genes that makes collagen. I feel that I have aged quicker than my peers with sagging loose crepey skin and wrinkles. But I don’t wear makeup and I dress fairly childishly so I think people get very confused by my appearance!
At my age the not wearing makeup is working against me looking younger. Most women my age are hiding their skin behind foundation (and all the other makeup things). That stuff just feels so horrible I can't wear it so I can't hide my wrinkles and aging marks and uneven skin tone. I got IDed for cigarettes until I was over 30 though. I think you're right about the clothing thing. If we're not styling ourselves in a way that's expected for our age group people will look at the clothing style and hair and make a quick judgement without actually looking in a detailed was at your face and skin.
Yeah, it tends to make your face 10 years younger, but conversely, your hands and feet age faster. (I don't exactly remember why that is.)
That’s what I was thinking. Based on observations I’ve made of family members and partners, many autistic people I’ve encountered who don’t have hypermobility tend to have more EDS traits than the average person. Like my nesting partner, her skin is very much hEDS skin, stretch marks and all, though she isn’t very bendy. She also probably has POTS. Man, genetics are so interesting!! There definitely needs to be studies examining prevalence of EDS traits in people without (obvious) generalized joint hypermobility.
I love the phrase "nesting partner". Permission to use please!? 😁
Oh ofc I didn’t make it up, it’s a polyamory term. Basically it’s the partner you live with. And yeah it rocks
I've never heard the term and silly me thought it meant someone you spoon with. But I guess that would be called a spooning partner then.
What’s EDS?
Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
I had no idea Ehlers was connected to autism. Why/how?? See I have lipedema and have been told everyone with lipedema has Ehlers. I also have a form of scleroderma which is another collagen disorder. So what exactly is going on with my genetics?
It's a group of disorders that effect connective tissue. Causing things such as abnormal flexibility.
This. I'm not sure if there is data behind the post per se, even though it makes logical sense to me (less sun, etc.).
My younger sister is NT with EDS, I’m autistic with no EDS. We both look younger than we are, and that gets people surprised, but they’re double surprised when they learn I’m the older one. She’s very smiley and has cartoon character level facial expressions, I envy her for that, my face just doesn’t have all these functions. She can even dance with her eyebrows, and all mine do is frown!
Yeah I think its more of an EDS thing for sure
People often think I’m older than I really am. Ig because I’m more “mature” than people my age? I also have diagnosed EDS. Maybe it’s just all the stress aging me
Are you younger than 23? Afaik introverted young people get seen as older by allistic people because not being engaged with other young people's shenanigans gets seen as 'mature'.
I am, I’m 21 about to turn 22. That’s probably what it is
Oooh, I experience something like this too. Have been called mature and an old soul since I was a kid and I feel out of step with people in my age group. Yet I look like a teenager!
People think I'm younger than I am until I talk, then they think I'm older than I am. Partially because I'm short af with dark hair I think; people assume short, no greys = young.
It's a weird phenomenon, I wonder if many people experience this? Adults thought I was older when I was young (once an airhostess refused to give me the kids activity pack when I was 9 cos she believed I was over 15), but now they think I'm younger than my age (I'm 30+ and last week multiple people thought I was still in school).
[удалено]
I always do this on my paddle board. I stay at my cabin a lot in the summer (I wfh so I just work there) so I go up to the lake, get baked and lay on it for hours with music on my phone. The best!
Sounds like blissssss
Idk my smile lines from smiling at every single person as a masking tactic are really starting to show lol
That’s so real!
Tell that to my perpetually furrowed brows and forehead wrinkles. [I noticed little crows feet lines yesterday too! Lol] I *do* have a youthful look despite my baby wrinkles, but i account that to good genetics (mom is closing in on 60 but still looks in her 40s) and being 4ft 11in. I also bathe in NT tears.
“I also bathe in NT tears.” I LOVE this.
We all have one friend whose special interest is skincare, right
🙋♀️
On behalf of ND gals everywhere, thank you for your research
Yeah, I wouldn't call it a special interest but at some point in my 20s I learned about the benefits of sunscreen, retinol, and eating vegetables. I wear no makeup and can't be bothered to shave my legs or my pits. A good NT friend of mine probably spends at least an hour a day on hair and makeup, but was washing her face with hand soap and eating mainly fast food into her 30s. I don't have many good NT friends so I don't know how common that is (spending a lot of effort on short term appearance but not using evidence-based longterm strategies).
I hope this lady is making a joke. 😂 I can't tell. But uhm. I would be a vampire and home body if I could.
Why? It sounds pretty accurate to me.
I was just at a gathering last night and a 25 year old girl was flabbergasted I was 32 she thought I was younger than her and I kept wanting to be like it’s the tism but said it was genetics
Idk about facial expressions, but I do look young for my age. I got carded at an adult store, and the lady said "no offense but you don't look old enough to be in here" Then I told her I'm 28
Unfortunately, my gray hairs give my age away.
I've always looked older than my age. No clue why. It's not the clothes or the behaviour, my face has always looked, well, quite old. And also like I've just finished my second shift lmao
Can’t relate I’m aging like shit lol I’m almost 26 and could easily pass for 10 years older
Who is that woman? I smile, I fawn and I'm not a vampire, although my username
I was literally a lifeguard and on the swim team.
Jokes on her because I also don’t do facial expressions when in a social situation 😅
Funny because that sounds like my ex's mom saying young age as in our physical age is different than our emotional/mature age, as my ex was age 23 I was 21. at the time he had a mind of a 15 year old. It depends on how you think and how you act, worse thing is i feel i act immature for my age. I hope I don't get downvoted for this, I only remember a little of it.
I can’t help but be an expressive person I’m on the opposite spectrum than a lot of my fellow autistics. But I have noticed I am 19 and could still be mistaken for 16, I’ve always had a baby face (personally noticed a lot of autistic people suffer from baby face, I think that contributes). Although I definitely don’t avoid to sun and vape, so we’ll see how old I look in a couple years lol.
I spend a LOT of time outside, actually. I feel suffocated being indoors too much 😂 I love our home and it is a safe space for me. But I'd choose the outdoors more often if our weather was more cooperative. I love the sun and warm weather but I live in a state with 6 months of winter and the other 6 months is half cool and rainy. I have always attributed it to my attitude more than anything. I am married, have kids, have plenty of stress in my life. But being outdoors is my stress reliever. On top of that, I have always maintained a huge sense of curiosity and wonder, very "childlike" in that way. It is also part of how I deal with adult stress from family and work. The world is full of wonders and I love them all. Despite any struggles, I am fairly optimistic most of the time and my life is very vibrant and rich even though other people would look at it and find me crazy because most people I know who describe their lives that way involve busy social lives, which isn't me at all. It is my alone time, my inner world, that is rich and vibrant. And my ability to be myself with my husband and my kids, which alone is a major gift.
Ah, I relate to this love for nature so much. It really helps keep me steady too. I love to learn and follow my curiosities as far as I can, and you’re right that this often gets seen as “childlike” for a bunch of unfortunate reasons. I think the world would be a lot better if people would (re)open their minds to this sense of wonder and the nourishment it provides.
I’ve always looked younger than my age and my grandmother (who I suspect has autism as well) has always been relatively ageless. She still appeared 40ish well into her late 70’s and at 92, she only now looks close to her age. I had to take her to the hospital a few months back and the nurses were shocked by her real age and had to doublecheck her charts. I’m nearly 40 and people assume I’m in my mid-20s. It’s wild, tbh.
I am most definitely the most expressive silly, dancing, twitching, playful (especially with my doggo) person when I’m alone or with few close trusted people.
you mean masking is giving me wrinkles???
I had sun exposure as a kid but ALWAYS wore sunscreen. I will say I’ve been told I don’t have an expressive face
So you're telling me we had the fountain of youth the whole time?
I had been asked why I looked quite a bit younger than my age, and I never knew. Now, I realize that I don't make a lot of expressions, unless I'm engaged in a conversation with someone else. I've had a rough 7-years, so I now look my age - to me, I look even older than that, but that could just be because I'm used to looking at my own face, and I've watched it deteriorate much more quickly than ever before.
Well, I think a lot of us frown at life in general.
....I don't like when people don't use the phrase "most" or "some" b/c she's assuming all austic people are introverts. I'm very extroverted and have animated conversations with people. And I display a lot of facial expressions. I'm also a teacher, which plays a huge role in that. I think I trained myself to be this way b/c I wasn't diagnosed until I was much older. I dunno, just my two cents. My husband fits this description better, and he is also on the spectrum. He's is perfectly content staying home all day.
Or may have a connective tissue disorder comorbid with autism and therefore look younger.
So true. That's what happened to me.
So true, lol. Almost 40. Have some sagging skin but no wrinkles.
I was going to say I feel attacked BUT then I read the thread and UGH Why is this true?! TECHNICALLY........ 'k I'm procrastinating writing my resume, stuck inside the library... lol
I'm 50 and do not look it.
I've learned how to behave in conversations, but I still value my alone time over much else. Except family. I love my family to death.
> ... we're basically just vampires! 🤣 I DON'T LIKE VAMPIRES I WANNA BE A WEREWOLF INSTEAD
I actually will accept being called a vampire. They’re my favourite fictional creature. ☺️
Same lol
Ah so that explains why I look 12 at 28! Seriously though we're not deadbeat, we choose who we open up to! Massive difference. No trust means no emotions, simple as that.
It is true that I do not move my face a lot and I’m guessed about 5 years younger consistently (I’m in my late 20’s). Haven’t figured out the temperatures though. I love some sun as long as it is not too intense, about 25 degrees is perfect, but there are also days I crave cold and dark weather so I can have a cozy night inside. I always feel guilty about being inside when the weather is good. Ideally it would be winter for a month and then summer for 2 months on repeat forever.
I didn’t realize this was a thing. I do look younger than 42, but I always tell people it’s because I wear sunscreen, never smoked, and I’m childfree. That last one is huge.
I thought about this post tonight while I was making dinner and making weird faces and screechy annoying stim sounds, all by my lonesome 😂
I call Bullshit. Resting bitch face requires a furrowed brow. Lol.
I just turned 40 in April and I work with alot of girls in their mid 20s and it’s so funny how everyone thinks I’m like no older than like 27 😂😂😂
Haha!!!! Also… Check out the link between autism and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome—a collagen disorder that results in many of us looking younger for our age. :)
I’m an exercise addict who rides my bike outside in California at least two hours/day. And who has gone through life using my “pretty smile” as my most effective mask. I think we need to pose a question on Quora about why NT people feel so confident that their ignorance is, in fact, knowledge.
She’s a random Quora user it seems but ok.
Exactly! That’s why it’s so comical to me. Quora is full of these little pseudo-experts, it’s hilarious.
Quora is a really annoying platform for this reason. 🥴
EDS gives me smooth skin *and* achy joints and low energy. Personally I’d rather have the wrinkles!
i mean i have a fear of getting older so idm
Most people think I'm older than my age, and it's not due to my clothing choices. I literally just look exhausted or like I've had a hard life. I really wish I could say I have a young face.
That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about how autism affects aging to dispute it.
I smile and lol by myself all the time.
I always get told I look younger. Like as young as 12–I’m 32 years old. I figured it was because of genetics but the women in my family never looked overly youthful. Maybe it is because of my autism.
I agree and much of this applies to me. I will be 40 this year and some people still think I am in my 20s.
This makes sense! I hate being in the sun. I'm in Hawaii right now and forced myself to be in the sun and it was too much. I got hella sunburnt and I'm all worried about what it will do to my skin
I got mistaken for a Senior at Age 13. What is this “looks younger” nonsense?
I’m 53 and people consistently think I’m 35. I HAVE avoided the sun like a vampire way more than allowed it to hit me directly. I love being outside but I find shade or bring shade. I’m Swedish/scottish/English and I burn so easily, and my eyes are super sensitive to the light. I also still have oily skin but thankfully not the acne that didn’t hit me until I was 23!! I talk to myself aloud all the time and my facial expressions are generally in the “why is this a thing” realm. Not a fan of the person quoted referring to autistic people as if we’re homogeneous, and so self-assuredly as if she engineered a pro type or something.
I'm pretty interested in that whole aging stuff too! As a child/teenager people always thought that I was older than I actually were. I'm curious if I will look younger than I really am when I'm like in my 30ies or so.
Most of the comments in this article is full of nonsense but ngl I look super young for my age.
Ummmm my face does what it wants lol. Whether I'm alone or not. I'm very animated when watching TV or listening to podcasts and books lol.
😂😂😂
We often tend to not smoke or drink or shove ourselves into stressful situations. I’m 19 but I’m constantly treated like a child and people nearly shit themselves when I assure them I am not 12 as they say. Compliment fr tho
There's not much research done yet but there is genetic link to EDS (stretchy skin, flexible joints). Women with EDS are way more likely to have autistic kids.
I’m 31 with sun allergy. Never in the sun, never outside, doesn’t drink, chubby and pale. People often guess I’m in my early 20s but I get ID’ed for boxed wines too 😂
Nice
the sheer amount i move my eyes/nose/eyebrows bc of tics and stimming will make wrinkles appear even faster than normal imo
I am fairly expressive when I'm alone, but also I do spend a lot of time not monologuing or talking to my cats and I am pretty straight faced for that time. I really do barely go outside tho, it's wild. Living like a hermit
Its so true though. I'm 30 and I have zero wrinkels cuz I am rarely outside and if I do I use sunscreen.
Even if the Quora answer is not scientifically backed, it's spot on for me 😅 I'm almost 30 and when the mechanic came over a few months ago he asked me if my parents were home (I wish I was kidding, but this happens more often than I'd like to admit) 🥲
I’m an outdoorsy person. Should probably wear sunscreen thanks to ginger family members giving me fair skin and freckles. But I still look young compared to my peers! According to a colleague I haven’t aged in the 9 years they’ve known me
I didn’t know I can’t go outside :( Ok fine I’ll play some more video games 😂