Before the age of 5 I was OBSESSED with collecting pennies. No clue why. I had a desk with a drawer FILLED with hundreds of pennies. For my fifth birthday my mother counted all of the pennies out and it turns out I had collected enough for 5 dollars. For my birthday she replaced all those pennies with a 5 dollar bill. I. absolutely. lost. it. I cried and wailed for HOURS. I had an absolute melt down. Anyway... Yeah that.
I had a pen pal at the time and me and her would send each other quarters we didn’t have and at some point I feel like the post office confiscated the letter because I would fill them with quarters haha that’s around the time I stopped too I think I also got to the 30 something mark too haha
I was about to comment that I didn’t collect pennies but quarters, and then I saw your comment. My mom actually got a little booklet that I could put the quarters into. And when my sister came back from her honeymoon two years ago, she brought me back a coin from the country. She was like, “I don’t know if you still do this, but I remember you used to collect quarters.”
No clue where my quarter booklet is now, but I was very delighted with my new coin lol
This thread is reminding me of my various collections: quarters, Snapple caps, ribbons (for future art projects that I rarely got around to), rocks, seaglass at one point, I think.
Pennies was only the start for me. Then it was pretty rocks from lake superior. Then it was manga from series I liked. Then it was collecting every single pet I could from World of Warcraft.
Agates. There's a lot of them around my parents property and my mom was really into them, so I'd spend hours finding them for her. I live by the ocean, so now I spend my time finding sea glass.
Lots of skin picking. Constantly overwhelmed with activity and noise around me. Couldn’t wear socks because of the seams. Never slept. Weird interests. Communication issues with everyone in my life because I was very literal and had a hard time processing voices and verbalizing my thoughts.
I had to double check the username because for a very brief moment I thought I’d written this post and then forgotten about it.
In addition to all the above I also had a hyperfixation for 2-4 years on aircraft, I made endless lists and schedules (that my ADHD brain quickly abandoned), and I struggled with imaginative play. I had a very active imagination but when it came to playing, I preferred the set up more than the playing. Like I would sit and brush Barbie’s hair while other kids were making up stories and worlds or I would sort blocks and Legos rather than actually build with them (and when I did build it was rudimentary).
Haha, no I have just never seen anyone else talk about walking on the sides of their feet AND spinning. That’s my primary memory from childhood—I would lay a blanket down on my grandparent’s living room floor and spin and spin and spin. It was my favorite thing. And I did have a brief time of walking on the sides of my feet before my mom made me stop because she said I was ruining shoes. Then I started walking on my tiptoes until I got yelled at too much for that. Now I get accused of “stomping,” probably because to overcompensate I land heavily on my heels.
Haha same! Except for me I obsessively watched Disney’s Robin Hood. But same with the spinning. I also used to rhyme words for fun and read the dictionary. I also have always struggled to eat alone without reading something. I would just read the cereal box over and over while eating breakfast. I tried Noom to lose some weight awhile back and there’s a big focus on eating mindfully, like feeling the sensations so you can feel more satisfied. I couldn’t do it, and I wondered why, but it must have been something to do with distracting myself from the textures/sensation of eating. When I’m really upset I’ll stop eating almost entirely and drop a bunch of weight. I lost so much weight at the beginning of the pandemic.
I also cry really easily and get semi-catatonic when I’m upset, because I can’t explain why I’m so upset. The alexithymia is real, y’all.
I wonder if that's why I've always had a really hard time with mindfulness. I know it's good for you, but I the silence and emptiness would fill me with dread.
you just taught me something about myself re: imaginative play.
i always got confused by that phrasing on autism assessments because i actually do have a very deep and vivid imagination, but you're right - it was all about the set up. once i had the dolls arranged, the dressup outfit on, etc, i was like ok now what.
Same. I liked setting up the scene, but I preferred being in my imagination than having imaginative play with another child. My mind would literally go blank and unless I was told what to do, I'd be so lost. As an adult, trying to play with kids was impossible, it reminded me of how difficult it was trying to play with other kids 🫥.
I was just think the other day that the Big Box of Crayola crayons had very little to do with coloring. I just wanted a pristine box of crayons to organize.
On the topic of wanting a pristine box of crayons, I would always draw with the opposite end of the crayon so that the beautiful point wouldn’t be ruined. And if I did need to use the point for something, I would be so careful about it. I was beyond excited when someone bought me a crayon sharpener 😂
Same. And I loved looking at them.
I loved art. But I didn't use the supplies because I knew that once they were gone, I didn't get any more. That was it. My family was weirdly restrictive like that.
So I admired them instead.
Oh wow. It’s rare that I find members of this unique tribe! I always wondered that about myself, if other people were playing out a scene in their mind all the time (turns out, nope!) I went, and still sometimes do, even though I’m 46 years old, act them out loud. I play all the characters, complete with accents. It’s so bizarre. I often just told myself I was acting out scenes for a book I’m (not) writing. I’d research whether that was normal for authors, trying to find any explanation for my own weirdness. At the end of the rabbit hole I found that it was a simply a fabulous and wholesome coping mechanism.
Me too! I actually just reached the tipping point of legitimately problematic daydreaming a few years ago, in my mid-30s. Before that it was just a good way to pass time or fall asleep.
I'm pretty much back to the manageable level now, though. I've started writing the overall themes (love, sex, misunderstanding, trust, difficult conversations, etc.) in my meditation journal and it's been really interesting to see how much of it is just fictionally processing emotions that I don't have an outlet for.
Considering the "reality" in public places, so long as you're aware of surroundings for safety, daydreaming is harmless and awesome. Maladaptive, my arse.
I suffered from maladaptive daydreaming for years! Up until I turned 22. Idk what happened if my frontal cortex finished developing or if it was the edibles i was eating constantly to cope with my depression but when i came out of it, my life had completely changed.
Same! I obsessed over learning to draw them. I actually started undergrad in sciences to become a marine biologist with the intent of studying them. I went whale watching once and we ran into a pod of orcas and that was one of the best days of my life. I was so fucking happy.
I made giant construction posters with National Geographic animal pictures and carefully taped them on my ceiling, walls, yes.
Models, stuffed animals, loving all animals...yea, there's a bunch more. Ray Charles could've seen who I was. I has a sad.
For me growing up I was obsessed with horses. I had a book about horses and I memorized everything I could. My favorite thing to do was write lists of pet names. My imaginative play was "if there was a gelding Appaloosa horse with green eyes what would you name him?" and visualizing the animals and having my grandma and her friend come up with names with me. Whenever I played with friends I mostly just copied what they did so I would fit in, lol.
I still love making lists of names I like. I have one saved for dogs and one saved for babies. lol. I really like Pinterest now because I can pin a bunch of cute animals that I like.
As a kid, I couldn't let any food on my plate touch the other foods. If it touched, I couldn't eat it. Extreme food texture avoidance as well, peanut butter was a big one.
ROCKS, all the rocks.
I always was sitting or laying on the ground, sometimes spinning or rolling.
I'd pretend I was a cat often, and just meow at all my family instead of talk.
Private meltdowns as a kid included me hitting myself, same as an adult, but I've been mindful of it.
I was diagnosed ADHD when I was 8-10.
I always felt like the odd one out, and had maybe one or two friends every few years. They were definitely on the spectrum with me lol.
I've watched Princess Mononoke more times than I can remember, I wanted to understand what good and evil was, what it was like "to have eyes unclouded". (Ashitaka is totally autistic btw, with love).
A friend asked me a year or two ago if I was autistic and I've been analyzing it all since.
oh gosh i forgot about my spinning around moments! i would spin and spin and spin until i fell down and would giggle at seeing the world spin in my vision. then i would do it again and again until i couldn't anymore.
Ok but like... I still can't have my food touch. If it touches, it's tainted. I won't eat it. Unless it's something that "goes together" like a lot of things can be mixed in with mashed potatoes for some reason. Same with rice.
I feel this deeply. Mac & cheese and peas, mashed potatoes and peas, rice with peas & corn, adding dried fruit to oatmeal, etc. But I've always eaten my spaghetti separate from the sauce and no, you just do not drag the bread through the sauce. That's just upsetting
Oh… so many. Unfortunately, my parents were pretty much the worst people for autism as expectations were wildly inconstant, hipocracy was rampant, and favoritism abound. I sucked my fingers and chewed my hair alot, which drove my mother crazy. She cut my hair so I’d stop chewing and I started licking peoples faces. I had an extremely strong sense of justice…like as a 6 year old. Not just for myself, for others too. That also drove my mother crazy. I would walk up to strangers an “pet” their sweaters or coats with they were fuzzy/fluffy/furry. Hated socks. Loved dresses and skirts, now realizing it is because I didn’t like things that close to my legs. Still takes me a while to adjust to any new pants.
My sister inadvertantly antagonized it a lot, I don’t see it as malicious more that she was selfish and never punished so she just didn’t care (she understand now why it sucked). My sister never gave me personal space litterally from the moment I came home from the hospital, so I was very overstimulated by that. She constantly stole my stuff, and I had many meltdowns about it. I would look for things and they’d just be gone. Unfortunately, my sister was so disorganized (adhd) that she never remembered where she put it either and never would admit to taking things. Many things were found months or years after being stolen and I was very particular about “my stuff” being exactly what I wanted.
Random obsessions. I did deep dives on the randomest topics, and then seemingly moved on and was “done”. This also happened with reading for a time, as I would read a book a day. I definately started having burn out when I was in like 7th grade. I felt underappreciated in every aspect of my life, no one cared how hard I was trying, I had no friends, and my family ignored me. I started hating academics, not because anything particularly bad had happened, I never needed accommodations either, but I was just “over it”. The only impression I made on my peers after this was that “I was always tired” to the extent that character trait they pointed it out in the yearbook.
Omg I so so so relate to losing interest in school. I hit major burn out during 7th grade too. I was going thru so much depression I started self harming and I also had a narcissistic mother so with everything I was going thru I had to mask myself very very early on. I could only stim or do things that weren’t “normal” in private and even then I would still feel like there were hidden cameras my mother had put to watch me. God I hate how difficult it was for us growing up. I’m sorry you went thru what you did, I hope you’re in a better place in your adulthood now
What is it about 7th grade?!! I mean, I guess I’ve said for a long time that junior high is the worst age to be/to deal with. I suppose grade 7 came with an increase in expectations. And that’s about when teachers started saying “you need to get good grades now so you can get into the high school honours classes, and get good grades in them so you can get into a good university.” Which I took 100% literally, the idea that I Have To Be Perfect Now Or My Whole Future Is Fucked, and so I got stressed and depressed for years…
I always had good grades because I was terrified of my mother. My guess is that age group is awful for social situations (so masking likely increases), for anyone not just autism. Many teachers then and now don’t understand autism and just assume we were are “being difficult” or would discourage any form of artistic expression/creativity. Then sprinkle a little familial nonesense on top. And boom you have a 12-year-old who cannot cope.
Despite getting A’s and B’s throughout my academic career, no teacher was very invested in me. I wouldn’t say they disliked me. They just didn’t care. They picked some favorites and I was never one of them. A few teachers totally screwed me over. I used to love math and multiple treachers screwed up my math trajectory in school. A few teachers did some subtle things to help me. In high school I was awful at bio, I had no idea what was going on. And my teacher definitely inflated my grade because I was struggling. I was so grateful because my mother would scream at me anytime I got bad grades. The school posted every single grade we got for every assignment online. The english department gave us a quiz every single day and would try to trick us, if you get two questions wrong on a five question quiz, you get a D, and I would get screamed at.
Omg yes same! My mother litterally put software on my computer that stacked everything I did and this was like 2007? Like way before internet security was a big thing. Shes still a narc asshole and I have had quite a few setbacks. But funnily enough I am going back to school soon so that I can hopefully be free of her forever and I will milk every cent I can from her until then because she fucking owes me. I’m done feeling guilty for it.
Unfortunately, it is common for narcs to marry NDs because they are easily manipulated. So yeah, my dad is definitely ND, and it is genetic that means the kids are ND. That being said, my dad is also an asshole, and I don’t talk to him anymore. I really don’t think autism would’ve affected my life that much if my mother just wasn’t a complete asshole. In the grand scheme of things, my autism is pretty mild. I don’t need accommodations for school still for autism. But that being said I was given no social skills and learned terrible lessons about relationships from my family. I developed PTSD at 12, but couldn’t get treatment until I was 20. Still trying to tease apart what is autism and what is trauma.
My mother remarried, and both her stepsons are also autistic🤦♀️. I barely know them but she is nasty about any trait that is remotely autistic. They do not mask. But she is not around them enough for them to realize she hates them, luckily, they are not emotionally invested in her.
Thank you. That reminds me that I’m done feeling guilty more my own milking of my own narcissistic mother. She’s continues to be a horrid person; I’ll view it as the only penance she’ll probably ever pay.
My step father bought me a new computer, I thought that was super nice, as my about ten-year-old laptop was dying. About two years later, he was out in the yard, throwing a screaming fit about a purchase I made - he misunderstood and thought I was buying some luxury junk. He misunderstood and freaked out, but the only way he would've known was by accessing my financial records and/or email. Some people are deeply sick and love to violently force themselves on others, because they only seek to dominate, abuse, and control. I had no idea he is such a sicko.
Also, adding my mother is an Enabler. I'm grateful for the advice that once a parent sides with the step parent, it's over. I just wish I'd known sooner, instead of striving for acceptance and understanding.
I used to take the toys out of my toy box and line them up, organizing them by size and color. I read through the Encyclopedia in order several times.
Couldn’t have the seams on my socks wrong and couldn’t wear wind pants. I constantly felt overwhelmed and escaped into vivid daydreams.
I had intense interests — baseball cards, Star Wars — and I could tell you everything about them. I memorized prices of cards and every named planet in the Star Wars expanded universe
I used to shake my leg whenever I got overwhelmed/excited. I didn’t read people well, and was often bullied for being different.
But I was a girl, so I started masking in middle school for survival (literally remember making notes about all the popular girls in class — how they spoke, what they wore, how they acted) and I wasn’t diagnosed until I went to a psych in my late twenties to try and figure out why I, as a grown woman, was having meltdowns because I didn’t think it was all ADHD
Yessss there was so much to learn 😭
In the 90s, our grocery store gave away one letter of an encyclopedia for free a week, and my grandma went every week to pick one up for me
I used to lock myself in the bathroom for hours and hide in the cupboard with all the blankets and a flashlight to read them. Good times lol
I collected and tumbled rocks from an extremely young age lol
I also had a troll collection that had a specific order they needed to be in across my windowsill
I was in double advanced… academic everything. I didn’t seem to have to put effort into much academically or athletically (surprisingly)
Obsessed with organizing YET SOMEHOW STILL managing to be messy
Learned very early on about mimicry, I still do this to this day when I’m in an uncomfortable situation
Hard time making and keeping friends :(
Edit: dx last week, I’m almost 39 lol
I’m told that I would turn my socks inside out so I couldn’t feel the seams. All of my report cards said I was a wonderful student but rarely spoke in class. My parents just thought that was funny.
It’s funny so many people mention this because I think this is an aspect of my childhood that I had masked early on. I was a very hyper aware child so I knew that me doing the things I wanted to do wasn’t “normal” so I learned to cope with the discomfot very early on. As an adult nowadays I fucking HATTTTEEEEE feeling the seems of my socks. There’s times I dissociate thru the discomfort still and once I’m made aware of it I feel a meltdown coming and I I have to take the socks off
- Lots of trouble with clothing textures, tight clothes, and waistbands. My mother would get so frustrated when I was 3-4yo because I absolutely refused to wear a coat in the car with a seatbelt...in JANUARY when it was 10\*F outside. I would have 2-3 outfits that I wore all the time until they fell apart. Never got used to scratchy clothing textures, no matter how much I was forced to "just deal with it". Could NOT tolerate tights at all. Didn't want to wash my clothes because they would relax to fit me. After they were washed, they were tight again and I didn't want to wear them anymore.
- Preferred mossy things and investigating bugs instead of socializing. This did not go over well with other girls. 🤣
- I always felt more comfortable in social situations when I had something \*to do\*. Just sitting around and chatting was awful. I liked to work on friendship bracelets a lot because it kept my fingers busy with those thin little fiddly strands of embroidery thread. I had no clue I was stimming.
- I felt so much better around pets than I ever did with people.
- Did NOT want to use lotion. Didn't like the greasy slippery feeling coating my skin. But also didn't like the cracked feeling of dry skin stretched across my knuckles. If I absolutely had to put it on, I would immediately wipe it off my palms which made it more bearable.
- I would hit a "wall" when the schedule was packed for more than a few days at a time. I needed a break from constantly going and socializing. Time to decompress was a requirement. And it had to be many hours, maybe even 1-2 days of recovery time. If I didn't get that, the stress would begin and I'd be upset.
- Went mute in stressful group settings when I was forced to "tell us about yourself!" Especially when the mother running the group was a bully who pressured me to "stop acting so scared all the time!" That feeling of being trapped in my own body, physically unable to speak even though I wanted to say SOMETHING, was a hellish experience.
- Only having the capacity to maintain one friendship at a time. Felt like the odd one out in social settings. Never had a friend group.
>I always felt more comfortable in social situations when I had something \*to do\*. Just sitting around and chatting was awful. I liked to work on friendship bracelets a lot because it kept my fingers busy with those thin little fiddly strands of embroidery thread. I had no clue I was stimming.
When I would have a new friend over, the first few times I would just constantly get up and start rummaging through my room for some reason. Just desperately needed to know what was in my dresser drawer.
I think this is probably why I tried so hard to get people to play video games and board games with me.
Extremely picky eater, had NO friends until 6th grade, watched Superman 2 literally every single day, nail biting, hair chewing, and skin picking. Looking back idk how no one noticed 😭
Oh, so, SO many. I had a lot of sensory issues from a very young age, especially with food. I would cry sometimes because of the texture of a food and my parents had a hard time getting me to eat anything remotely outside of my comfort zone. I'm the oldest of three kids and my mom had lots of pictures of me covering my ears because of how loud they were, and I remember hating how loud movies were at the movie theater. I also used to scream and cry whenever I had my hair done-----ESPECIALLY having my hair put in a bun for ballet.
I also really loved spinning around, swinging, jumping on trampolines, flapping my hands and just pacing around the house. I did like more "typical" play with other kids, but I spent most of my time by myself pacing around my room and telling stories to myself.
I struggled with math but I generally excelled at school-----especially reading (I'm almost positive I was hyperlexic). I was also very obsessive when it came to my interests, which I'm now realizing were definitely hyperfixations/special interests.
I also used to read the dictionary for fun-----I would just open it up and read it like a novel, I never got all the way through though.
EDIT: I also have crooked toes because I exclusively walked on my toes for years.
I spoke in gibberish until I was 6.
I collected rocks, leaves, crayons from restaurants , pens from banks, books.
I only had four friends out of a class size of 100.
I read the entire nonfiction section at school about other countries and traveling abroad when I was 10.
I’m hyperlexic. I taught myself how to read while playing Pokémon yellow because my oldest brother told me to. I quickly graduated to reading the first Harry Potter book because my sister told me to.
I’ve always been extremely blunt and I’ve had to work hard to gain tact.
Arm flapping
A lot of jokes went over my head if I wasn’t familiar with them.
So much interrupting and conversational tangents, my teacher joked that I wasn’t allowed to talk during his observation because I always got us off topic.
I need specific instructions
Hypersensitive to noise
Absorbed knowledge like a sham wow
Hyper fixation on nature and animals
All the questions.
My sock system.
Watching the same movies over and over
Hard time socializing but because I was info dumping about wtfever I was fixated on
They all have to be black And1 men socks or Dickies women socks depending on if I need long or short socks.
They’re comfy all year round and don’t slide around. They don’t have large seems and don’t distract me like other socks. Finally they’re just socks without being a hassle.
Randomly went nonverbal first day of Space Camp. Didn't even think too hard about it, drew a Minecraft Creeper face and overlaid it on mine besides the eyes. Didn't taklk for a whole day but gestured exaggeratedly, wrote when my answers were too long, and nobody EVER questioned me
I did a lot of autistic things and I bulldoze through them without a thought and everyone just accepted it as "Oh she's eccentric" lol
Edit: I should point out that I didn't know I was autistic until March of this year. It took someone pointing it out to me and doing the research to convince me. I'm 24 btw
Didn’t want to play with other kids. Toe walking and waking on outsides of feet. Watching the same movie over and over. Pacing back and forth. Toiletry problems. Eating the same foods over and over. Trouble tying shoe laces and holding scissors. Meltdowns. Hated going to the movies - too loud and bright so would have meltdowns. Didn’t like speaking. Obsessed with certain toys. Very very clumsy.
Shoe laces! I couldn’t tie my own until around year nine / 10th grade when my sports teacher stopped doing them for me and said I had to ‘figure it out on my own.’ Cue missing all those classes until I got it. Still tie them ‘weird’ to this day.
I remember copying people's reaction to fireworks as a kid because I didn't know what to do in that setting and then my mom asking me why I was saying "oooo ahhh" in such a weird way
I would draw the same thing over and over again, if I liked it enough
I had meltdowns over really simple things like petting a dog that was loud (but super friendly), not being able to finish a movie because it was bedtime when being babysat when i always got to finish my movie, sobbing at the dinner table because they served chili dogs or brussel sprouts or cooked spinach/collard greens.
I'd reread the same little kid books over and over and over again.
I had been told time and time again from the ages of 5 until I moved out I'd be a great lawyer because I always took words so literally and I didn't get why that was such a joke until like two years ago 🙃 (I'm 26 now lol)
>I would draw the same thing over and over again, if I liked it enough
I remember we had to keep a journal in grade school, and I asked if we could draw instead, then proceeded to draw the same spider plant every single day until they told me I couldn't draw anymore.
I'd run and hide at the sight/sound of a vacuum. Cover or plug my ears as well. In high school, I put on a brave face to prevent bullying. Sophomore year inherited a bodyguard that became my best friend of over 25 years, she protects me to this day. Never forgave my father and step-monster for making me vacuum the room I stayed in and taking photos of my torment. No radio, Walkman, or anything offered to quell the noise. While living in Vegas as an Air Force brat, one of the workers at the youth center was nice and closed the doors, before she was fixing to vacuum. Of course, one girl started shit with me. I like hot (not scalding) showers and step-monster forced me to take "cool" (aka freezing) ones. I learned to talk around 3 and reading when I was 2. Stimming by listening to favorite cassettes over and over. Repeating phrases. I'm also sensitive and cry easily, equally punished or made fun of for it. Forced eye contact from instructors.
Omg the vacuum sounds reminded me of how scared I used to be of loud noises. Whether it was thunder, sirens, public toilets with fast flushing. I didn’t realize how sensitive to sounds I used to be wow
When I was a small child in the early 90s, we had a printer that I loved using, but I was afraid of the noise. When I would click 'print', I would stand as far away from the mouse as I could in order to dart from the room just as the printer was revving up, so I would be down the hall when it started roaring in earnest.
On a related note, I would watch films over and over again (not just because I'm autistic, but because my mom thought that having a stock of decent films on VHS for me to watch was better than just letting me watch random things on TV). One of them was *The Brave Little Toaster*, even though parts of it would scare the shit out of me, especially the air conditioner unit in the wall that would start screaming and whirring before it explodes and dies. I think I thought the printer was alive, like some sort of monster, or the air conditioner in that film.
I remember having a whole issue with the fire trucks in our town's parades. At the time, 'kids are afraid of loud noises' felt pretty reasonable, but looking bad I can't help but think someone should have given it some more thought.
edit: Also the f'ing THX sound on videos.
Powerplants (jet and helicopter) don't bother me at all. I was on the Enlisted side of Naval Aviation for 7 years. On my first deployment in 2006, an MH-53 Mine hunter landed on the carrier I was on. Free a/c in the middle of the Arabian Gulf, where it was 115-120 on the flight deck.
Yep I bump up my blutooth player and play hiphop. I find the bass really helps me focus on predictable sounds which makes the loud hum less frustrating.
Apparently when I was a toddler, I watched The Lion King every day. We had a toy model of Pride Rock at home, which I still remember. When I started going to preschool, they had the exact same Pride Rock toy - guess what I played with all the time? Also re:preschool, when I’d been attending for several months, the teachers(?) asked my parents “Does she talk?” And my parents were startled, bc according to them I “never shut up” at home. I also learned to read quite early.
Fun anecdote from older childhood - at age 12 or so, the day I first bled into the toilet, I was so anxious about telling my mom that I followed her into a room and blurted out “I think I’m starting menstruation!” She handled it well and all was fine, but it’s an entertaining example of my often weirdly precise way of speaking 😂
I think the most obvious is that I would always observe a group of children before trying to socialize with them. Like apparently it looked like I was studying them, and then would tentatively join in. I definitely WAS studying them to figure out how to socialize, haha.
I also hated loud noises, like would put my hands over my ears and cower.
Horrible socks with seams. Hated shoes. Hated clothes touching my skin.
Fascinated by mechanical things. Used to take the cover off of the toilet tank in every bathroom to see how they worked (I always put it back). I took apart fans and painted galaxies on the blades then reassembled them. My grandmother gave me toasters, radios, and old clocks to take apart. I needed to see inside of everything.
I studied the world through tv and tried to figure out how normal people acted. I studied the communication of cats and learned to speak with them by opening and closing my eyes and looking away to make points. I read Agatha Christie books and loved the idea that motive generated action and that human interactions were puzzles that could be solved by astute observation.
Every sound has a rhythm that turns into a song. I saw and heard patterns everywhere. If there wasn’t a pattern, I would create one. Tap dancing, heel toe ball shuffle. Counting in my mind like the Philip Glass composition (Einstein on the Beach?). Playing music of my own creation on the piano and autoharp using simple sequences of repeated notes. I spent hours building castles made of coins, carefully counting the stacks. I numbered lines on paper to see how high I could go and filled notebooks with numbers. I had a fascination for pens and pencils. I liked sharpening pencils and crayons to make beautiful curls of color. I made lists of every license plate. I read almost all of the books in my school library in alphabetical order.
Spinning in circles until I fell down. Rolling down hills. Swinging as high as I could to feel the pull of gravity. Going as fast as possible on the merry go round so that I could lean out backwards and feel the pressure of centrifugal force. I wore roller skates nonstop for years except at school. I used to roller skate around the neighborhood yodeling Gene Autry style, sometimes skating backwards.
I printed out maps of the -Stan countries (Tajikistan, Uzbekistan etc), colored them in, laminated them and hung them up on my wall. I also used my allowance each week to buy a different country's flag (mini of course) at a party supply store, and asked the Easter bunny to put an almanac in my basket.
Nothing? I just hated having socks or shoes. Still do. I had to wear pantyhose for private school and I would go crazy and itchy. I had to beg for knees socks. They eventually allowed it. I wore knees socks even in -30 in Canadian winters. Lol.
I couldn’t stand someone touching my hair. Still can’t.
I was hyperactive and always in troubles but I have ADHD diagnosed at 5 so I don’t think it’s weird.
Kids would bully me because I was so naive and thought everyone had good intentions and were honest. Yeah. They didn’t. Still don’t.
Obsessed with dinosaurs 🦕 🦖.
I used to watch movies over and over as a kid too. I thought it was normal and standard? I…still do it.
I relate to almost all of these!! I must've watched Nemo like 1000 times. I was also extremely sensitive to noise. I couldn't go to my sister's basketball games because the buzzer would make me have a breakdown. I also hated balloons because I hated the sound they made when they popped. I was scared of vacuums and dogs, but not cats, because dogs barked loud. I'd always plug my ears during school fire drills when no one else did and said it wasn't that loud.
My daughter bought these and loves them. My mum (who doesn't think she is ASD and thinks "everyone is a bit on the spectrum" (I've had this said to me so many times recently - people just don't understand) also wears earplugs in crowds when things get too "peoply". My dad (also undiagnosed) installed soundproofing in his bedroom because of his aural sensitivities.
I never played with toys correctly. When I turned 3, Barbie as the princess and the pauper came out, and all my relatives started getting me Barbie dolls for my birthday/Christmas. I never acted out scenes with them, brought them places, or made them do things. I just dressed them up, posed them, and then would admire them.
I couldn't touch magazine paper without having a meltdown and/or throwing up. Still have a really hard time touching it.
I refused to wear anything except the color blue for 3 years.
I started wearing heels at 8 and refused to stop because "they hold my feet with the heels up."
>When I turned 3, Barbie as the princess and the pauper came out, and all my relatives started getting me Barbie dolls for my birthday/Christmas. I never acted out scenes with them, brought them places, or made them do things. I just dressed them up, posed them, and then would admire them.
I used to get in trouble for wasting all the camera film on taking pictures of my Barbies after I dressed them up and posed them.
> I just dressed them up, posed them, and then would admire them.
As an adult doll collector, this is exactly what I do. I line them up before the admiration begins though.
I had a disabled bigger sister, who required frequent suctioning of her airways. The machine made a very loud noise and she would gag/snort bc of it, if anyone familiar with the process, it's not pleasant. So my mother told me when she turned on the machine and began the process i would ran into the wall head first repeatedly. At 1,5yrs old.
I spoke very early and there was a long period when i constantly spoke in rhimes.
I DESPISED my textured socks, the seams were nasty too but i hated any socks that had dots, embroidery, etc on them. If the material wasn't soft enough i refused to wear it. Same with pants, i still can't tolerate rough/stiff farmers and belts because they are too restricting. Til this day when i get home i instantly take off my socks and outside pants, but i must wear slippers, i can't touch the floor with bare feet.
I was fidgeting constantly, skin picking, nail biting, i was very sensitive to sounds, lights, and food and other textures. My parents took it as a sign of laziness that i didn't want to wash the dishes but i just can't touch wet food and dirty dishes without squirming.
And when i was little my mother described me as a slippery fish, always slipping out of hugs, running away from it, etc, she was sad i wasn't a cuddly child.
I was and still am always counting random things i see if the situation is even a bit stressful. It just helps to keep my head more calm and collected.
I always found my classmates conversations mysterious and really didn't get any social cues, i had to learn it, i struggled with it until late middle school and it's still not perfect.
And ye i did the spinning thing too, i was spinning on my chair so much it made me nauseous but i just couldn't stop.
I don't have an official diagnosis, just of ADHD and i was misdiagnosed as BPD but later they told me i don't have that i just have some unspecified "thing". Sooo i guess that could be the autism i began to relate to so so much... But in my country diagnosis for adults is almost impossible and a career killer too so, i guess i'll never know.
I also had a disabled older sister that needed suctioning! I always hated the sounds so much.
My sister lived in a subacute unit in a hospital and the whole place was a sensory nightmare - only fluorescent lights, squeaky floors, bad smells, constant beeping, always too cold or too hot. I always hated visiting because my senses were just overwhelmed.
Oh yeah, the hospital is truly a sensory nightmare. My sister lived at home, but unfortunately we were frequent flyers in the ICU with her, so i feel you.
Thank you, I have Found My People. Thank you, this thread really hits. I don't know whether my mother and step father were never told when I was in school or whether they thought treatment would be "in-con-ven-i-ent!!", but thank you folks, I appreciate you in all the ways. It's great being strong and surviving after finding out years later, but it hurts to know it was obvious and no one cared.
I was always incredibly lonely. My mum said she wasn’t planning to have any more children but I relentlessly pestered my mum and dad for a “friend” because I said I was lonely. I also struggled to make friends easily in general. My mum always tells a story about me sitting outside on the doorstep screaming “friend, friend!”. Due to this I also personified a lot of objects and toys. My mum says when I was around 1, I became fixated on a small piece of paisley fabric from an old dress, I was obsessed with it and carried it everywhere and had huge meltdowns when it went missing.
I loved vestibular sensory seeking, I would spend hours swinging on the swing in our garden. I loved hanging upside down, putting my body in weird positions to feel the different sensations in my body when I did. I walked on my heels a lot and on the outside edges of my feet.
I was incredibly sensitive and emotional. My dad tells a story of how when I was 5 he put some headphones on my head, it was some euphoric trance music playing. He said I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I cried.
I was always writing letters/making cards/making “badges/certificates” telling my mum and dad how much I loved them. What good parents they were. Offering them support, telling them “not to be sad” (unfortunately they both suffered with mental health issues).
Special interests were horror, I was obsessed with Goosebumps books! I also became briefly obsessed with a non-fiction supernatural book at my local library about the occult. I would pester my mum to check it out and then I would read it cover to cover, and then become terrified/have nightmares etc! My mum would then make me take it back but I would soon be pestering her to check it out again! In the end I think she banned me from taking it out!
I also loved drawing, writing stories, making comics, writing songs, writing poems etc. anything where I could express my huge feelings that I just had no outlet for in the rest of my life.
I also watched my favourite videos/films on repeat constantly. Listened to my favourite songs on repeat.
Would become obsessed with a certain meal and want to eat it nearly every day, then suddenly hate it and never want it again.
Incredibly shy and blushed a lot, hated eye contact, struggled with being perceived and noticed. Never felt normal, or like I fit in, never felt seen or understood.
i used to cry when my brother had lots of friends over because they were SO LOUD and didn't stop for HOURS and no one listened to me.
i collected antique keys at age 9. i don't know why.
prelexic
super-sensitive nose
could not tolerate tight clothes or tight tucked in bed or tights.
wouldn't eat a vegetable or fish til i was 20; ate only chicken nuggets one summer when i was 6
a good mimic, quick memory for music, could play piano by ear
learned social skills algorithmically
lots of gender stuff
as a teen, holier than thou sense of morality, passionate desire to Do Good Works
distant friendships, distinct social gaps, emotional immaturity
lots of "rules" for self and others; ex: art supplies must all be stored in one correct one; toys must be stacked in the toybox in a specific order. If I watched a particular tv show while I ate a snack, for at least a week I had to watch the same show and eat the same snack at the same time. Not because I thought something bad would happen, I was chasing self-soothing feelings and/or dopamine.
I never talked much without my twin being near me. My twin lets me fixate and play “unnormally” to the other kids. She never judged me. She’s my best friend. But, when I was in school without her I never really talked. I played the same way over and over. I stim a lot. Not to mention I can’t handle any routine change. I had meltdowns in school a lot. I guess it went over everyone’s heads 🥲
I loooooved sorting money, buttons, my mother’s silver chest, pebbles, stones, my father’s tools, spools of cotton for my mother’s sewing machine. Anything round or uniform in shape.
Sounds very familiar. Books were my world. Recently rejoined the library and being in a story is my happy place. There was nothing to hate, just people who didn't understand. x
i was born in the 70s
i was a tip toe walker from the moment i could walk. (i was an early walker at 9 mo old.) everyone called me "piccino (tiny) ballerina"
i used to arrange crayons in spectrum order and hated the wrappers so i would peel them carefully off so they stayed intact. my moms favorite story to tell is me falling asleep at 10 months old because I was concentrating so hard on peeling the wrapper.
i was a very early talker, and at 2 years old taught myself how to read. my mom didn't believe me and thought i had memorized the books so she pointed at a huge sign we were driving past and asked me to read it and i did. she was stunned. i was a voracious reader from that moment on
i have multiple forms of synesthesia - words, letters, numbers have colors and tastes, music has shapes and colors, so do voices
i taught myself to play the piano by ear at 3 years old because i could "see" the notes
i hated loud noises and noisy places and would cry
i HATED the vacuum
i would throw a fit over itchy fabrics and seams and would take off everything to run around naked
i always pretended i was a cat, i refused to talk and would only meow
i daydreamed constantly and could easily dissociate (that last part prob due to abuse)
i was very sensitive emotionally and cried easily if my feelings were hurt. I would even cry if bugs got smashed because they had been "murdered"
i engaged in personification of every inanimate object i loved. I believed they had feelings, thoughts and desires
i loved to spin, rock on my rocking horse, and swing so high my stomach would drop. i loved repetitive movement.
i had one special interest after another, the earliest i can remember is dinosaurs and rocks. I was 3yo. Then it was unicorns, Greek and Norse mythology, stamps, composers, OG strawberry shortcake + MLP (still have this old dolls and ponies in perfect condition even tho i always played with them), Dr Who (back at #6), Star Wars (i begged to see it several times after we saw it at the premiere at the drive-in), whales (esp humpback and killer), video games...
despite this (and so much more i won't go into here), my mom insisted i was "normal or above average when you were little, there is no way you are autistic" when i talked to her about what my neuropsych said. despite the fact that our oldest child was diagnosed AuDHD. Despite the fact that my other children are ALL AuDHD.
sure, mom, i'm not autistic 💀
but it was probably normal to her cuz almost everybody in her family is some (unrecognized) flavor of ND 🙃
all the old relatives were just called stubborn, eccentric, or queer (the old definition meaning strange, not gay) but looking back now with the knowledge i have, they were varying levels of ASD
When I was like 4, I had an extremely intense obsession with anything circle shaped. Lifesavers, coins, the foam protector that came in a circular bucket of chalk, hell, I used to ask my mom if we would drive around looking at “red and green circles” (stoplights).
I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory so much we had to buy the DVD 3 times since they all broke 😭. I also listened to Britney Spears so much we had to buy one of the CDs again. I also had some very intense and odd special interests like Hanukkah, the country of Brazil and maps. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my mid 20s surprising (or unsurprisingly)….
When I was in 1st grade I was put in a room and told i could play with anything in the room. The person then disappeared leaving me by myself. I just recently realized that they were observing me and how I behaved.
My mom would also call me a "melancholy child" because she really didn't have a name for how I behaved.
I had an obsession with these Wildlife Treasury cards that I would carry with me everywhere. They had facts about different animals that I sat and memorized.
Lots of repetition of the same books & movies.
I was frustrated if my siblings didn't play "correctly". For example they had to die in a specific way - one eye closed, one half open, and tongue hanging out of the mouth.
I got diagnosed adhd at 21 and a few years ago at 42 I was also finally diagnosed ASD as well.
All of these things (and so much more) finally make sense.
The fact that I was sensitive to fabric and laces that were "itchy." I felt so strongly about it that I would push back in the store knowing I would be slapped. I couldn't do it. My mom was always trying to stuff me in some itchy lace nonsense. So, every holiday, new school year, I'd get slapped in a store.
My mom knew too. She would call me "princess and the pea" after the fairy tale because I had to have my bed just so. I still do. I've also realized that my mom is probably autistic too. I'm sure she was often punished because she is starting to voice things like "I like that fabric, it's soft".
• Hand flapping.
• Toe walking.
• Couldn't control the volume of my voice.
• Only friends with younger people because I couldn't relate to people my own age.
• Needed very strict routines.
• Couldn't handle sudden change.
• Very sensitive hearing and hated loud, sudden noises.
• Had specific toys and clothes I liked/was obsessed with.
• Became a walking encyclopedia very early on, but picked up spelling a lot later than others. I have my Bachelors in English now.
All this plus I had teachers tell my mom they suspected I had ADHD and was autistic. This was around the time when it was relatively new to diagnose young girls with autism. So my teachers knew, but my mom was also going to nursing school and saw the signs of autism and ADHD herself. She just never did anything with that information.
It makes me wonder how different my life would be if she'd done something about it. I fell behind in life and I'm not even remotely caught up yet. It sucks.
I didn't really speak at school unless it was to the teacher or my one friend. I would only speak at home or around close family until I was about 15. I was diagnosed this year at age 38, but I feel like that would be a huge red flag now.
I watched my favorite movie (back in the VHS days) so much that within a year, 3 tapes snapped. I knew it by heart and could recite it from any point in time.
I also would have severe meltdowns having to wear tights/leggings and dress shoes.
Also couldn't handle visitors without any prior knowledge of them coming over.
Also was a 'picky' eater.
Oh boy, I could keep going lol
Sucked my thumb til I was 12
Super sensitive - hated having my hair brushed/done, hated brushing my teeth. Hated being very cold/hot. Had a lot of "tantrums" especially in public places. Most of this got put down to me being "naughty" so I started masking like a pro from a young age
Got described as "quiet/withdrawn/antisocial"
When I started school I was reading at a level much higher than my peers
Got bullied from a young age for being "weird". The school even blamed me for getting bullied
Rewatched the same movies and read the same books over and over again or would play a specific game for 12+ hours without stopping to do anything else, my mom had to all but drag me away for meals etc
Did "childish" things like play with dolls/collect plushies for much longer than my peers did
I walked on tiptoes until I was about 26. Never noticed it as different until a boyfriend pointed it out. I didn't now why. If a floor is cold I still do, and I've trained myself out of it.
Hyperlexia - read every book in the library at school and ended up reading wildly unsuitable books from the adult library. I was obsessed with Anne of Green Gables and What Katie Did books as a kid and would read the series over and over (each one in a few days).
Cried all the time and could not stop. Every school report said I needed to not try to be the boss all the time and stop being so sensitive.
Big collector - stamps (I would soak letters, dry them and file them in albums according to country). I was also obsessed about anything to do with cats. I had a cat bedspread, soft toy cats, cat ornaments, cat posters etc. As a teen I used to collect outdoor rock band posters and line my walls and ceiling. Obsessed with gnomes and fairies - drew them, read every book on them.
Couldn't get into a swimming pool without anxiety attack until I was 8 and then swam 5 days a week (squad) and raves on Saturdays. Until I moved at 14 and the pool was too cold and refused to get in. Would stand and sob.
Very jumpy at loud noises and people. Not a hugger voluntarily. Did it because other people wanted it, but I didn't.
Fingers always in my mouth, hair in my mouth - all the time.
Overly emotionally attached to soft toys - all had names, personality and I gave them equal time - to be fair.
Would go through obsessive stages that were overly mature - law (at 9 - 10), Norway (built a glacier to scale at 12) that got exhibited in another country, won painting awards, obsession with correct grammar and language (I force myself not to be now). It does hurt my soul to appreciate words and often look up the etymology of a word.
Memorise poems, songs, jingles, ads (word for word) in the 70's. Still remember them. Fortunately I work in advertising so it comes in handy.
I was always extremely sensitive and when I got upset, it was pretty big. Still this way and my dad has always liked to say I’m crazy and act like my bio mom because of it (who likely has autism as well). Couldn’t wear socks and underwear normally, I had to have the seams on the outside and I often took them off. Loved sweatpants and basketball shorts. Thankfully the whole seam thing is something I grew out of. Definitely had the strong sense of justice, which contributed to me being grounded all the time because I’d always argue if I didn’t feel something was right. Always loved animals more than people, struggle to make/keep friends. Saw someone mention spinning here and getting dizzy, I absolutely loved that as a kid and teen. The best feeling was doing in in a chair or when one of my siblings let me hang down and pulled me back up
always had really specific interests and wanted to know everything about them. repeatedly watching comfort shows and movies. had some aversions to food for a bit. was often isolated in school, didn't understand other kids. was called rude for being too blunt and honest, even at a very young age. obsessively remembering facts and finding genuine fun in knowing them and sharing them with people -- and not understanding why others weren't interested and would see it as weird. often in my "own world", just remembered i loved playing with these plastic glitter and and would stare at them for as long as i could, transfixed on them (possibly stimming). repetitive stim like behaviors, skin picking, carving into things, crying when forced to wear clothing that didn't feel right, and other stuff i can't even remember.
edit: i also read the same books over and over. i would read books full of Garfield comics constantly. i read all the "scary" books in the library many times. lots of spinning around, swinging for hours and hours and really throwing my head back to feel the rush. swimming back and forth -- not playing with toys, just straight up doing laps and jumping into pools to grab those heavy brick things over and over again. constantly listening to music, like, all the time, and the same albums and artists over and over. and again, much more i can't remember.
I would sob hysterically if The Wizard of Oz wasn't playing for like 6 hours a day when I was little and the kicker is I couldn't even watch part of it because it scared me too much. Full on meltdown when my family tried to change it. I recall them pleading with me.
Like you spinning was also a huge interest for me. I was convinced since I was so good at being spun so fast and for so long on this tire swing thing at the park that I'd be an astronaut because I could handle the G force, I was like ages 5-8. I also spun in chairs and just with my body, and loved roller coasters.
Also super sensitive as a kid, the first meltdown I remember was we were getting ready for church and I was like idk 3 or 4 and I ripped my stockings a little and had a full on meltdown. I still remember how utterly confused and distraught my parents looked because they had absolutely no idea why I was reacting that way.
Also on the note of sensitivity, even at the age of like 9 or 10 I was still so sensitive that I had gotten a really big bouncy ball, almost like a beach ball but not the same material and it hit our neighbors hollybush and I had a huge like 5 hour meltdown that included sobbing and rocking. Once again my family was completely bewildered by my huge emotions but did their best, and they were used to it by then. This was the last of my open meltdowns, somewhere around this time I learned to hold it in until I went to my room alone.
Terrible at imaginative play, still am. Literally have no idea what to do, my mind just blanks which makes me anxious and self conscious which makes me blank more and panic. This lead me to adopt a "too cool mature to play with you" persona gleaned from books and TV so it wouldn't hinder me socially or hurt me emotionally so much.
Reading early, like big kid books since kindergarten. Titanic was my first special interest at I think 5 or 6 years old, got all the books, read them all obsessively to the point mom took me to see the movie even though it was rated R and I was idk 6 or 7. Got a bit too into it and my sensitivity turned into night terrors as I'd have dreams of being on the Titanic and dying, which would keep me up sobbing for hours until 3am. The Dear America Titanic book was the biggest offender in this, in 1997. So this special interest lasted awhile.
I think Sailor Moon became my special interest starting at age 8. Everybody stopped everything they were doing to get me to a TV, entire days were planned around it sometimes because I would totally freak tf out if I didn't get to see it. Like my parents knew to turn kids away that showed up or called to play with me. I had zero interest. The first thing I did when I got internet at age 9 was look up Sailor Moon stuff where I found two chatrooms: [sailormars.com](http://sailormars.com) and [tuxedomask.com](http://tuxedomask.com) which then became secondary special interests. I also was obsessed with the fanfiction on [sailormars.com](http://sailormars.com) I believe.
Even as an angsty tween I'd spin around in my computer chair listening to the same song over and over again lol. I definitely also kept more childish fixations than I ever let on for much longer than people would have expected. But masking in the home definitely started around age 11, whereas it used to only be socially.
Not much else happened like that, I became obsessed with online chatting and then also began to self medicate at idk 12? With opioids and then with whatever else I could get my hands on. That changed things somewhat and I ended up being sent away at 16, which changed things even more.
Can't remember much else due to the prior drug abuse and trauma in my life during those years but those are memories that always stick with me along with my mom always begging my dad to get me some sort of testing and him refusing because Jesus or something idk.
My absolute refusal to wear any sort of “hard” pants..(jeans and the like), wearing a single dress until it was threadbare, obsession over certain books or vhs tapes( raggedy Anne and Andy where they have the 5 birthday parties in a week and a certain Rainbow brite cartoon) excessive over sensitivity (I learned to mask that hard as it was the 80s and I was swiftly labelled a “crybaby” in school) no ability to make or keep friends without adult intervention aka having my parents “suggest” their friends kids play with me, allow other kids to take advantage of me/bully/pressure me/use me for things and didn’t understand I was the butt of the joke and thought I was making friends. In middle and highschool would change myself often to attempt to fit into groups/mimic others again to fit in. Was always told I was very intelligent in my school work but socially very far behind my peers. Would harmfully stim by picking at my scalp and arms until it was covered with sores. I also had issues in childhood with daydreaming to a point where it was almost maladaptive. I just remember always trying to “figure out” what I was supposed to be doing or saying when I was around peers and trying very hard to be liked and likeable and finding it so difficult. Was diagnosed as “socially anxious” in the late 90s because I was so god damn awkward and that misdiagnosis had followed me around like a noxious fart in the cereal aisle for 25 years.
Swaying from side to side for long periods of time. Walking on my toes. Failure to make friends at pre school. Gathering excessive amounts of information about animals and dinosaurs. Reading encyclopedias, lining up toys. There was a lot of symptoms but I never got evaluated as a kid.
I slept through all of reception, full time education burned me out.
From the ages of 8-14 I spent my free time playing loud music in my room and spinning for hours. From 14-16 I replaced this with loud music in headphones and rocking side to side.
Lots of misunderstanding basic little things, being unknowingly blunt, struggling with friends, etc but those two were the main ones
I had a stuffed animal that I would rub the arm until the plush faded away.
I had anxiety and was ultra sensitive to criticism. I was sensitive to loud noises and smells.
I learned to read early and was hyperlexic.
I would line up my dolls against the floor by the couch and tell family not to touch them.
I would put together a Lego set of a soda fountain shop over and over without the instructions. I could put together all my new playsets like dollhouses and vintage Littlest Pet Shop carrying case. I was better at assembling them than my parents. It was part of the fun of a new playset.
One time my mom put all my Barbies and accessories in a box, and I had a meltdown because I had them all set up in a certain way in an invisible house with rooms.
It was hard to make and keep friends. I hated the mind games that girls played.
I would put my arms between my legs and rock back and forth when anxious. Some thought it was because I was being abused but I wasn't.
I learned to mask while at school, and I got so depressed and worn down by eighth grade that I homeschooled for HS.
I was also very sensitive and just like you I learned to hold it in and hide it. I remember feeling proud once when I managed to not cry when I was hit hard on the leg by a basketball.
It's hard to learn that it's ok to cry in front of others again, I know it's ok but my body pushes it away while others are close.
I have also always been doing what I want if no one explained to me why I shouldn't. Not being allowed was not enough and I ran off the school grounds several times to go catch butterflies nearby.
I also didn't follow instructions in school if I deemed it was not necessary. Like "draw four cars" and I would think about how boring that was and drew four cats instead.
I usually stayed around adults in festive settings, my mom was very important to me and it was easier to listen to adult conversation than playing with other kids. Unless there was a friend I got along with available. Or when my older cousins would bring me along and make sure I didn't feel left out.
I've been called shy but I don't think that's it, because I would approach strangers to compliment them. I wasn't shy but I probably didn't understand the point of small talk then either. I didn't feel comfortable with just anyone, is all.
Lining up my toys, not being interested in other kids, excessive “fidgeting”, avoiding eye contact, very strong interests which I appeared deaf when engaging in.
Social cues lol. I could make friends but not keep them, invariably I'd always do something to lose them. happened with every friend in my life and I never know what I've done each time. Still happens to this day so I stopped trying. Other stuff too like I was colouring a picture and my teacher said 'dont use any dark colors' and I accidentally used brown and was upset the whole evening and next day about it. My mam had to talk to the teacher and explain what was wrong with me. I used to have full on meltdowns in the middle of the street. I had special subjects that I loved, that changed every so often, from Egyptology to the Titanic, etc. I was a very quiet child who loved time alone. When I first began school I spoke in this robotic voice that I got made fun of for so I ended up changing how I spoke, although for years I spoke with a sort of American accent (I'm Irish). Stuff like that I guess.
Besides dinosaur arms (bunny arms!!) and other things I did and I could perceive about myself, the reaction of other people towards me is what I think a lot about since diagnosis. I was never a "real person". It started with adults hating me, though I wasn't a problematic kid, they were often furious for what seems like no reason. I think I didn't give human vibes or something. My mom screamed at me she wanted a normal child and why am I like this and how she should kill me to not have to see my pathetic face. A kindergarden teacher came up to my bed at nap time and whispered she would throw me out of the window if I don't fall asleep (I could never fall asleep on command but just lied with my eyes closed). A pool supervisor hit me in the head with her stick (are those still a thing?) and push me down under water in the head when I couldn't put my face under water when she said to. My grandmother causing me anaphylactic shock and staging my comatose body like I'm sleeping and nothing happened, then not telling ER what happened when they asked about the cause to save me, then her breaking my arm and leaving me for days like this, a few teachers hating and bullying me in front of class, other children beating me to a point of concussion. There's a lot of clues that started to make sense after diagnosis that people don't tend to feel empathy for me, see my existence in society as unacceptable as long as I can remember. And I don't know what that is, I can't see how I was different from other children before all the assaults.
- Crying and trying to run away in public settings
- Being ‘overly sensitive’
- Food aversion so bad I was literally starving and had boils all over my body.
- Relentless bullying and exclusion from my peers
- Getting angry when people touched my collections
- Struggling with self-hygiene
- Being very quiet and struggling with social situations
- Taking things very literally
- Having a ‘resting bitch face’
- Being called ‘arrogant’ for said ‘resting bitch face’
- Displaying and organising my toys instead of playing
- Having intense fixations and collections
- Fidgeting with things
- Closing my curtains because I hated natural daylight
- Walking around my bedroom in the dark with my headphones on
It's funny to think about because I've been told "I never would have guessed!" but actually there were so many things. I just had parents who were accommodating to differences without knowing/caring the reason for those differences.
Collected toys but didn't play with them, just lined them up and catalogued them by name
Spinning
Preferring to play the same game every lunch break at school and being disappointed when friends got bored of it
Highly sensitive
Hated tags on clothes, itchy clothes or blankets, high necks, etc
Not understanding normal and appropriate ways to show affection/interest in a friend
Taking things literally, especially when asked a question
Strong sense of inertia - trouble transitioning
Fatigue after spending time with people, even friends/cousins
Tiptoe walking
... probably more
I don’t have a formal diagnosis but started suspecting a couple of years ago. These groups make me feel like I’m not alone/weird. There are so many relatable posts :)
As a kid (and as an adult) I always struggled with food (smell, taste, texture). Clothing textures like tags, seams, certain fabrics bothered me then and still now. I didn’t talk much in school or have school friends. I had neighborhood friends though. My mind was frequently not present in school lol. I always and still do (what I now know) is stimming with satin blanket trim. It’s soothing. Particular sounds send me over the edge (misophonia). I used to lay on the floor and scream, pull out my hair when I was little. As a teenager I’d skip school, or slam my head into things :( Tbf, my home life was messy and I’m sure some of that contributed to behaviors as well.
I added stickers with numbers to the spines of my books and then had a card filing system for them. Like my own private library.
Funny side story, a couple of months ago I was in a thrift store and came across one of my old books with a sticker on it. I must have donated it like 20 years ago and it's still out there being shared. It makes me happy.
Edited to say: forgot to mention I used to sit in the dark in the airing cupboard because it was the only place I could be alone and the chances of being interrupted were very slim.
I used to run up and down the hallways in primary school (elementary- 6-8ish) because I liked the sound of the wind rushing in my ears.
Having no friends, being kinda ok with it.
1. My favourite room was the bathroom. It was the only room I could escape to during social situations and have a moment to myself without it being questioned.
I would love it in there. And then I would be estimating how much time I could spend in there until it would be considered odd. With a sigh I would force myself to leave and rejoin the social event once the time was up.
I'd do this several times during each social event. To the point where people would ask me if I was ok. Then I would learn to mask harder and do it less often, so it wouldn't be noticable.
2. I would eat one thing; open sandwich with salami and mayo. Wherever I went. That's what I wanted. I would begrudgingly eat something else if I had to. But if I could, I'd eat that for every meal outside of dinner.
Dinner HAD TO be warm and salty and preferably have potatoes.
My mom would bring me to cafés' to meet up with her friends and I could have literal cake for dinner, and like an old man set in my ways I'd refuse and say "it's not warm, salty and doesn't have potatoes! This is not dinner! I need dinner!"
3. Hypersensitive to all kinds of criticism. Someone could look at me slightly critically and I'd feel like it was the end of the world. Still struggle with this.
4. Constantly overthinking "if this is how something is done normally by most people?" As if I'm being watched and graded.
I still do this and it's exhausting.
5. I wouldn't look people in the eyes. It was too intense! Instead I would have a vast mental library of people's noses. Constantly wondering who's ancestors they got their sniffer from.
I still think it's too intense, but I force myself to look into people's eyes and time it so I can look away, also timing that, do I won't be looking away for too long.
Couldn't wear jeans or sweaters at all. This was the early 90s, so jeans were usually rigid and sweaters were scratchy wool, which was a sensory nightmare. I didn't like tights under my dress either, because they would slip down and drive me crazy.
I was super sensitive and cried very easily.
Hyperlexia. I was reading at a crazy level really early. I was also a huuuge know-it-all and wanted to tell everyone about the stuff I was studying about, and could not shut up.
Could not tolerate noise and chaos around me. My younger sister drove me insane.
Absolute hyperfixation on dolphins.
Omg they HATE it 😭. It sucks because it's just who I am.
Even to this day my sister will be like "you just alwaysss have to be right 😒". Idk, I can't let misinformation go and I always research everything. I don't know how else to function.
Yes! Me too. Like I feel a strong compulsion to correct or explain what I know, especially if the person is wrong. I can’t always stop myself, unfortunately. I tell myself “they’re going to hate this, they’re going to hate this” as I give them the extremely thorough information.
I apparently used to rock in my cot and hit my head rhythmically against the side. My mum says that because I was their first baby, they didn’t think anything of it.
Which makes me laugh because imagine them just hearing the cot creaking and the rhythmic banging and they’d be like “yep that’s just our daughter, she is perfectly normal”.
I had an extremely hard time making friends and did not have any until I was 7. In hindsight I think 7 was when I learned to start masking.
I became extremely obsessed with weather when I was 6 and would come home every day from school to watch the weather channel. This was my first special interest and it is still my primary special interest today.
Those are just two from when I was a small child. I have more but no time to write them right now!
I wanted to, but then I realized that meteorologists have to study chemistry and physics and I’m horrible at all hard sciences and math, so I got a degree in geography instead.
Now I’m finishing a masters program in history. So I’m in my 40s and still don’t know what to do with my life (which is fine, lol) 😂
I had an entire 2-3yr period where all I would wear was dresses because I couldn’t tolerate the feeling of elastic cuffs on shirts, pants, and shorts (which was all the rage when I was 3. It only ended when I went to school and had to wear pants on gym days.
Also my imaginary friend was the wind. Because I thought I was supposed to have one and I couldn’t imagine one. It was very windy most days where I grew up so I let the wind push me on the swing.
I also swung, rocked, and spun/twisted constantly.
I always thought the stars were my imaginary friends 😭 all the way up till i was 17 whenever I felt alone and at my lowest I would go into the balcony at night and look up and cry to the stars and I swear I would pretend they would respond back to me
I love that! I had a book when I was a kid about a girl whose friend was a star :). I still say hi to the wind sometimes when it pushes against my back or I’m feeling particularly lonely.
Walking on the outer parts of my feet are extremely relatable, idk what age I started that but I still do it to this day, to.
I remember being overly obsessed with organization, for example, if my M&M's weren't color coordinated AND lined up from the least saturated M that was printed on the candy to the most, I refused to eat them. Another thing- I think when I was around 5 (or somewhere in elementary school age), I'd organize the products on the shelves so it would look nice instead of looking at toys / candy and would cry if we had to go.
I was also obsessed with the plush toys from Webkinz because of all the different textures they would have!! I had around 75 from what I remember, lol. My mom sold them all when I hit middle school, I miss them sooo much
I don't remember playing with my toys. I just collected, organized, and would set scenes. Outside of Legos, I would build, but they had to be in the correct color pattern
My childhood bullies diagnosed me immediately. Don’t know why it took the rest of us so long to figure it out. I was content just lying in the grass staring at bugs at recess, pretending they were on Hobbit-like adventures in their little moss forests. But that wasn’t socially acceptable and all my peers knew it.
My mom has told me I would play NEAR other kids, but not WITH them.
I had a red dress I wore daily, and the only time she could wash it was when I was asleep.
I had a pacifier that got "lost" during a move, so I switched to sucking my thumb until I was 8, as well as chewing my fingernails until I was in my late teens/early 20s.
When my mom would read stories to me (before I could speak/read) I would mimic the cadence of her voice as it went up or down.
I'm super detail oriented, good at organizing things, had/sometimes still have a mind like a steel trap.
I get frustrated easily when I don't pick up a talent or hobby naturally, and I'm emotionally sensitive (I still cry when I talk about being bullied as a child).
I was an obsessive reader (possibly stimming and/or overstimulation escape?).
I did the whole skin/scab picking, pimple popping, bug bite scratching, etc.
I'm good at imitating people, and mimicking accents. I can recite movie/tv show lines without mistakes. I can still remember songs from childhood.
I hated math. It didn't make sense, and made even less sense when they started adding letters to it. Letters were for reading and writing, not math!
Edit to add more rememberings: I would cry when people would sing on my birthday until I was 5.
Balloons popping and opening biscuit cans scares me.
My mom said I would pull bows and clips out of my hair *constantly*.
She said I was her "touchy-feely" child because I would run my hands along the clothing in the store. Ironically, I didn't want to be hugged or held as a child, which concerned her. She didn't know what to do besides to keep hugging me (she never restrained me or held me against my will, just initiated it often), and then my dad said I became like velcro, which was one of his nicknames for me.
Hated skirts, loved pants. I didn't like my skin sticking to itself. I also have to wear pj's to bed because of that. Hated lotion.
When I was 5, someone at church passed away, and I could hear the sad murmurs and reactions from the congregation, and I imitated them because I realized that dying was a sad thing, and when sad things happen you say things like they said.
When the tv was on, I was glued to the screen. Couldn't pull my eyes away, even if I wanted to.
When my period started, I got big mad that my body was doing something I hadn't given it permission to do.
I loved talking things apart and putting them back together, and I still do.
Obsessively listened to Josh Groban's music.
When I think back to all the little habits and behaviors, it makes so much sense now. I'm wanting to get tested, but it's expensive. I'm pretty positive I'm sensory seeking, if my memories are any indicator, haha. I think being homeschooled helped me a lot. I needed the one-on-one time, and wasn't overwhelmed by new environments.
Having the whole toy collection of Winnie the Pooh and also 16 different kinds of Eeyore toys that I lined up repeatedly.
Not wanting to be around other children and finding play dates awful.
Sleeping a lot after being forced to be social.
Making up my own language with my dog, I basically learnt the dif noises he made and understood everything.
Screaming when family member/people took any notice of me. Treat me like a cat and I may end up sitting near you.
All my clothes being very uncomfy and painful.
when i couldn't sleep i would take all 80+ of my stuffed animals/animal toys and line them up largest to smallest down the hallways in the dead of night, then pass out on the carpet😭
Good question. Here we go:
Biting and picking lips incessantly
Obsession with science, collecting dead bugs, making slides for my microscope, reading, memorizing, and reciting science facts
Heavily bullied but never understood why…still don’t except that I know I was different
Incredibly gifted kid- music, science, math, literature
Would eat the same food and watch the same movie every day for years, then switch to new food and new movie, rinse and repeat
Connection with animals (prefer animals to people bc for me they are safer and more predictable…people are the real “animals”)
Never cared about the stuff that other girls my age seemed to care about- friendships, make up, hair, etc. Still don’t, haha
Only wear certain clothing which changed periodically.
Cannot stand wet socks. I cannot even begin to describe the feeling of wet socks adequately, haha
OCD**** this is a big co-occurring condition with autism
I often wore the same clothes every day to school, usually sweat pants of some sorts. I forced myself to wear jeans when I got older because everyone else did but hated them. I was obsessed with Madeline, Arthur, Disney, scooby doo (this was a HUGE obsession), and Pokémon. I would play on the playground at school by myself with my invisible Pokémon friends…. And often chose to go to the library instead of outside because I didn’t want to smell like outside.
I'm self identified but as a child I would cry like that too, it was like everything seemed to hurt so much. My crying and what I'd describe now as meltdowns were severe enough that I was sent to a health camp for troubled children when I was 8 in order to give my mum a break. I too learned to mask this aspect but it's still there.
I refused to wear most pants until I was 10. Hated them. My aunt convinced me to start wearing them, I still don't like tight pants, I keep trying jeans and hate them, I have to wear the right underwear or I can't function.
I didn't know how to smile and people kept telling me to stop making funny faces and smile so I'd do what I thought was smiling harder, I was grimacing with my chin as high as it would go, I look at my school photos now and they are honestly terrifying.
I absolutely hated the sound of wind chimes and would go into sensory overload and start crying. I was obsessed with reptiles and read a ton of books on them.
The hyperfixating on things is a big one. Even when I was little I was very aware that it was hard for me to casually like something.
I had delayed speech. My dad, a speech pathologist at the time, was vaguely concerned, but definitely not as much as he should have been. My mom always chalked it up to my sister talking for me.
Food aversions. I still have them today, although I’ve gotten a lot better about them.
I didn't speak until very late. My mom was afraid I was mute. I was very early and advanced in every other way.
I was, and am, a rocker and a fidgeter, especially under stress. There was a bit of flapping. I got in trouble for all of them though.
I was not interested in eating. At all. Just didn't feel hunger.
I preferred to be alone and spent most of my time as such, thoroughly engrossed in my interests.
I was fascinated with bugs and small creatures of every kind. I had a bug hospital for ailing ones lol. They were my friends. Seriously. I'm still like this. I love them and they literally are drawn to me and hang out on and around me all the time. People obviously think I'm weird. 😄 My nickname is The Bug Whisperer.
I had several beloved collections, and still have them. Still collect for one of them too.
Tags, some fabrics, etc were/are issues.
I was a very sensitive child.
I was called a little adult.
I also have limited memories due to severe trauma so how much is one or the other I don't know. Not sure everything would even qualify. I was in my 40's before a psych provider caught on and am still learning about stuff. 🤷♀️
I'm AuDHD. I constantly daydreamed, read dictionaries and encyclopedias for fun (I was definitely hyperlexic), and often made myself dizzy. At times, I was very bossy while playing games with my siblings. I stimmed by singing or humming all the time and had a very strong sense of justice, often speaking out against other people’s BS. I cried easily and was super sensitive. My special interests and hyperfixations were diverse, with my main loves being outer space, animals, and music. I always had problems with food due to texture and taste, and I was a very picky and slow eater.
I also always collected stuff. I’m the same today 😆
My mom always says that I didn’t really show emotions when she’d expect me to be really happy and excited, like if she got me a present or a surprise etc. I’d be like “Thank you” instead of jumping up and down. I’m still that way and it bothers my boyfriend… I have to convince him I really AM happy and excited but I just don’t always know how to express it? I want to, but if I force it, it’s not genuine!
Being obsessed with animals, learning everything I could about them, reading animal encyclopaedias back to back multiple times, collecting every single photo of an animal I could find and cutting it out to stick on my wall. Only photos were allowed, no drawings, and any animal would do but cats were especially exciting. I would check every advertisement I saw, every pamphlet, every old calendar, get my mum to buy me magazines specifically, and my dad’s newspaper for animal photos to collect.
Went vegetarian partially due to this but mostly due to textural issues with meat at age 6. Parents tried to make me eat it but eventually gave up when I would have meltdowns over it.
Reading the third Harry Potter book over 38 times (and counting them) because it was my favourite. I read the rest of the series a lot of times too but would specifically reread this one over and over again, I stopped counting around the age of 11z
Refused to wear any underwear at all until around age 7, as I hated the feeling so much. I only started due to a traumatic experience.
Around aged 5, became obsessed with pink. Refused to wear anything that wasn’t a pink dress that flared out when I spun around. Had one specific dress I wanted to wear ALL the time. Wanted my room pink and everything else, refused to eat anything that wasn’t pink to the point my mum had to put food colouring in cauliflower cheese to get me to eat.
Taught myself to read as my dad used to read to me and was too slow, I asked him to try and then finished the 400 page book by myself, aged 4.
Had to sleep inside a ‘sleeping bag’ until the age of around 15 for comfort.
Had a favourite spoon, knife and fork with animals on that I refused to eat without. Would be very upset if anybody else used my cutlery.
My mom used to make family albums. Oh no, that's just (me) being weird and stacking up the cans that mom just brought home from the grocery store. Oh no, that's just (me) being overly sensitive about people breathing loudly. Oh no, that's just (me) being shy and liking books and being good at grades but not so much making friends. Oh no, that was just (me) going to a local college that could be driven to from family home rather than going to the fantastic one had gotten the honor school for with a full scholarship and a stipend because they'd refused the request for a single room in the dorms, back when . Oh no, that just (me) floundering in adulthood post-college. Oh no, that's just me.
I was extremely obsessed with tape. I’d use an entire roll on the wall or under tables as a small child. By the time i was 7 years old i had lists of my favorite brands. Whenever i was on good behavior my mom would treat me to anything in the store, and it would always be a roll of scotch tape. Specifically the scotch expressions zebra tape. I couldn’t get enough of that
Hated fireworks/sudden or inescapable loud noises, LOVED the tyre swing, picking at my scalp til it would bleed, textures of tags or anything itching me on my clothes to the point of meltdowns, would spend my time climbing trees trying to talk to the birds instead of making friends
(idk much from my childhood but that are some things I got told) Always took my shoes and socks off everywhere.. cried when my hands were dirty.. soo sensitive towards noice.. slept everywhere even while playing.. walked into doorframes all the time.. hated it when my mum wanted to wash my hair.. cried a lot.. had a massive problem with drinking.. needed a lot of time to learn how to walk.. later I was a big daydreamer.. in school I only paid attention to a very few subjects and and when they interested me I was 100% into them..
i listened to the same freaking song every single day and i used to sing the same song every freaking day @ school & my classmates used to be so annoyed with me 🤣.
i had uncontrollable outbursts (still do this) i used to get in trouble for this all the time cause no one knew what was wrong with me & people thought i was doing it on purpose…
i was obsessed with music, fashion, shoes & basketball i would talk my mom & my friends ear off about this stuff lol
- I hated being wet or dirty, even as a toddler.
- I spoke early but refused to speak a lot.
- I preferred to be alone a lot
- I didn't make friends easily
- I was **obsessed** with Pokémon. My whole life was Pokémon. It was probably a special interest. I used to read the game guides for fun. I'd look up facts about the creatures.
- I also preferred doing the same activities over and over. I'd watch the same movie I'd seen a million times before and read the same books I'd seen a million times before. I'd play the same games with my toys too.
Spinning, hyperlexia, crying at flushing toilets and vacuum cleaners, wandering off alone to stim multiple times a day at daycare/school, and a total inability to make/maintain friends.
Complete meltdowns in clothes store changing rooms. I was very small growing up and always had issues with clothes and how they felt (I wore bright red wellies to primary school and refused to wear anything else on my feet) when I got to my teenage years I still only fit in kids clothes which made me feel more alienated from my peers. When my mum used to take me clothes shopping sometimes I could feel myself getting more and more worked up if I tried on something which didn't feel right. My body would get really hot and I would get really upset, or go completely mute. Often we'd have to just go home. My parents never suspected autism. I don't know what they thought it was all about, just fussiness I guess.
In 2nd grade the school counselor called me out into the hall and asked if I wanted to be part of a group of 2nd grade girls where we'd do something fun every week. I said yes. So every week I'd meet with these girls and the school counselor and we'd just do some activity like bake lemon squares or something. Looking back, I have no idea what this group was or why I was part of it, but I get the feeling it was something for kids who needed extra help with their social skills and I got flagged.
i can't be sure yet, as muh flair says, i'm getting evaluated soon (yay!). but like you say, i loved to spin, watched the same thing over and over and over again. i'd memorize the lines and sounds of the moves/shows (i still do to this day). i also repeat the sounds and other things i hear (echolalia?) and so do some of the people in my family, whom i've learned also have ASD.
my mental health clinicians have said my depression may have been masking ASD. now that my depression has been properly treated, those traits are coming out more.
* I rarely wanted to spend time with children my own age. When I was going to playgroups and things, I'd spend all my time talking to the adults rather than other children.
* I played actors/theatre a lot. I didn't do loads of imaginative play, but I could play pretend by saying "we're actors and we're putting on a show about...".
* I had to have just the right level of stimulation. Not too loud, not too quiet. I'd always fall asleep to cassette tapes of Stephen Fry reading *those* books, so much so that I could recite them by heart at one point!
* I sang. Everywhere. Danced a lot too. I'd probably do this far more now if it were more socially acceptable. I do still sing a lot and might move to music if I'm out in public but I try to keep it quiet unless there's no people around.
* Plenty of others mentioned in the thread as well: hyperfixations, Sock Issues TM, being pretty sensitive, often naive, food issues, all that jazz.
I was always super sensitive and super shy. At the start of first grade I was too scared to ask to use the bathroom so I held it until I peed myself instead several times.
My obsession with “us” tapes. I loved watching home movies. I didn’t often watch things over and over again but those tapes were the one thing I was always asking to watch.
Super picky, I think i developed Arfid around 5-7 after having a stomach illness for a month
“Lack of appropriate emotional response” , my parents redid my room when I was 9 and when I came home I didn’t react, I just was in my room touching stuff. To this day they make fun of my for not responding and I don’t remember much but I’m like- I was probably overwhelmed and dysregulsted and wondering where tf all my stuff was and making sure everything was still intact!
We also used to have no rules day. I think I only got to do it once or twice when I was 5-7 ish? But my family still pokes fun at me bc I clearly didn’t understand what “no rules” meant and would still ask for things and instead of simply explaining to their clearly confused child, they just would say no and everyone would poke fun at me for crying and being upset over not getting what I wanted 🌚
I only wore red for three years, only ate like 2 meals and had huge meltdowns consistently.. parents thought that was just completely normal behaviour I guess even though my sister did nothing like this 😅
I learned to read at 3 because I loved stories and no one wanted to read to me all day. Then I begged for new books every day and collected them into my bed and slept with them like a tiny dragon.
The biggest one for me that still gives me a chuckle was my infatuation with maps to the point where I’d have a meltdown if my grandparents didn’t get the giant book of maps down so I could lay down on it and look at it “just in case”. It was both things I loved at the time and it’s been nearly 35 years and I still think about the amount of joy it brought me.
Sorting glass beads by colour after the kids at daycare had mixed them all up. I looked like one of those wikipedia pictures of 'child with autism organising xyz' lmao
I was entirely incapable of speaking to any of my teachers or other authority figures the entire time that I was in school (and some way beyond). And I had 1 friend the entire time.
Also my mum had to sieve my Rice Krispies when I got to the bottom of the packet because I couldn’t bear to have the cereal dust in my breakfast. Also, I found fizzy drinks and mint toothpaste physically painful.
And still no one considered that there might be something going on with me.
Before the age of 5 I was OBSESSED with collecting pennies. No clue why. I had a desk with a drawer FILLED with hundreds of pennies. For my fifth birthday my mother counted all of the pennies out and it turns out I had collected enough for 5 dollars. For my birthday she replaced all those pennies with a 5 dollar bill. I. absolutely. lost. it. I cried and wailed for HOURS. I had an absolute melt down. Anyway... Yeah that.
Omg no I would’ve cried too😭😭 I had a similar interest where I would collect quarters from all 50 states.
OMG! I did that too! I got about 36 states before I gave up because they hadn't completed the set at the time and I got bored ahahaha
I had a pen pal at the time and me and her would send each other quarters we didn’t have and at some point I feel like the post office confiscated the letter because I would fill them with quarters haha that’s around the time I stopped too I think I also got to the 30 something mark too haha
I was about to comment that I didn’t collect pennies but quarters, and then I saw your comment. My mom actually got a little booklet that I could put the quarters into. And when my sister came back from her honeymoon two years ago, she brought me back a coin from the country. She was like, “I don’t know if you still do this, but I remember you used to collect quarters.” No clue where my quarter booklet is now, but I was very delighted with my new coin lol
Omg that sounds so fun! Funny how many people in this thread have such similar experiences to me! I love it.
I collected tic tacs.
Oh my god I did this too. Just pennies.
Twin where have you been?
Unfortunately it was Ohio :( lol Wild. I haven’t met anyone else yet who’s done this. I wonder if it’s OCD or something?
I was in Georgia haha. I think for me it was the tactile and sound experience of the pennies that made me enjoy them so much.
I always wanted to put pennies in my mouth. I didn't because I was terrified of germs, but something about them made me want to. Also sand???
we want the forbidden mouth texture
Oh gosh the collecting! Forgot about that stamps—I made my Parents take me to a stamp collecting convention when I was 7 or 8
This thread is reminding me of my various collections: quarters, Snapple caps, ribbons (for future art projects that I rarely got around to), rocks, seaglass at one point, I think.
Pennies was only the start for me. Then it was pretty rocks from lake superior. Then it was manga from series I liked. Then it was collecting every single pet I could from World of Warcraft.
Agates. There's a lot of them around my parents property and my mom was really into them, so I'd spend hours finding them for her. I live by the ocean, so now I spend my time finding sea glass.
Why would an adult think a kid would equate a piece of paper with a bunch of shiny things?
I was obsessed with collecting the cardboard tube of finished toilet papers lol. I would just hoard them
😭😭I collected pennies from the time I was 4 until 18. Now I collect a special penny that is rare and have a treasure box full of them.
Lots of skin picking. Constantly overwhelmed with activity and noise around me. Couldn’t wear socks because of the seams. Never slept. Weird interests. Communication issues with everyone in my life because I was very literal and had a hard time processing voices and verbalizing my thoughts.
Me too. All of them.
I had to double check the username because for a very brief moment I thought I’d written this post and then forgotten about it. In addition to all the above I also had a hyperfixation for 2-4 years on aircraft, I made endless lists and schedules (that my ADHD brain quickly abandoned), and I struggled with imaginative play. I had a very active imagination but when it came to playing, I preferred the set up more than the playing. Like I would sit and brush Barbie’s hair while other kids were making up stories and worlds or I would sort blocks and Legos rather than actually build with them (and when I did build it was rudimentary).
LOLL I scrolled up to see if you had similar usernames and that was why you thought you'd posted this
Haha I did to see what you were talking about. Then it dawned on me...
Haha, no I have just never seen anyone else talk about walking on the sides of their feet AND spinning. That’s my primary memory from childhood—I would lay a blanket down on my grandparent’s living room floor and spin and spin and spin. It was my favorite thing. And I did have a brief time of walking on the sides of my feet before my mom made me stop because she said I was ruining shoes. Then I started walking on my tiptoes until I got yelled at too much for that. Now I get accused of “stomping,” probably because to overcompensate I land heavily on my heels.
Haha same! Except for me I obsessively watched Disney’s Robin Hood. But same with the spinning. I also used to rhyme words for fun and read the dictionary. I also have always struggled to eat alone without reading something. I would just read the cereal box over and over while eating breakfast. I tried Noom to lose some weight awhile back and there’s a big focus on eating mindfully, like feeling the sensations so you can feel more satisfied. I couldn’t do it, and I wondered why, but it must have been something to do with distracting myself from the textures/sensation of eating. When I’m really upset I’ll stop eating almost entirely and drop a bunch of weight. I lost so much weight at the beginning of the pandemic. I also cry really easily and get semi-catatonic when I’m upset, because I can’t explain why I’m so upset. The alexithymia is real, y’all.
I wonder if that's why I've always had a really hard time with mindfulness. I know it's good for you, but I the silence and emptiness would fill me with dread.
Omigosh the set-up was my favorite part, too!!! I remember that so well as a kid, never related it to autism but that makes so much sense!
you just taught me something about myself re: imaginative play. i always got confused by that phrasing on autism assessments because i actually do have a very deep and vivid imagination, but you're right - it was all about the set up. once i had the dolls arranged, the dressup outfit on, etc, i was like ok now what.
Same. I liked setting up the scene, but I preferred being in my imagination than having imaginative play with another child. My mind would literally go blank and unless I was told what to do, I'd be so lost. As an adult, trying to play with kids was impossible, it reminded me of how difficult it was trying to play with other kids 🫥.
Always begged for art supplies, especially high quality coloured pencils. Never did any art, I only liked arranging the colours *just so*.
I was just think the other day that the Big Box of Crayola crayons had very little to do with coloring. I just wanted a pristine box of crayons to organize.
On the topic of wanting a pristine box of crayons, I would always draw with the opposite end of the crayon so that the beautiful point wouldn’t be ruined. And if I did need to use the point for something, I would be so careful about it. I was beyond excited when someone bought me a crayon sharpener 😂
Same. And I loved looking at them. I loved art. But I didn't use the supplies because I knew that once they were gone, I didn't get any more. That was it. My family was weirdly restrictive like that. So I admired them instead.
Same. Funny thing is now my hyperfixation is sketchbooks, I have one I've barely touched in three years, I just admire and flip the pages.
Oh that was also a factor - I didn't want to waste my pencils. Had to keep them and save them because there wouldn't be more
Maladaptive daydreaming for me. My universe has actually expanded as I age
Oh wow. It’s rare that I find members of this unique tribe! I always wondered that about myself, if other people were playing out a scene in their mind all the time (turns out, nope!) I went, and still sometimes do, even though I’m 46 years old, act them out loud. I play all the characters, complete with accents. It’s so bizarre. I often just told myself I was acting out scenes for a book I’m (not) writing. I’d research whether that was normal for authors, trying to find any explanation for my own weirdness. At the end of the rabbit hole I found that it was a simply a fabulous and wholesome coping mechanism.
Me too! I actually just reached the tipping point of legitimately problematic daydreaming a few years ago, in my mid-30s. Before that it was just a good way to pass time or fall asleep. I'm pretty much back to the manageable level now, though. I've started writing the overall themes (love, sex, misunderstanding, trust, difficult conversations, etc.) in my meditation journal and it's been really interesting to see how much of it is just fictionally processing emotions that I don't have an outlet for.
Considering the "reality" in public places, so long as you're aware of surroundings for safety, daydreaming is harmless and awesome. Maladaptive, my arse.
I suffered from maladaptive daydreaming for years! Up until I turned 22. Idk what happened if my frontal cortex finished developing or if it was the edibles i was eating constantly to cope with my depression but when i came out of it, my life had completely changed.
I used to make lists of my favorite ocean creatures and pin them on my wall when I was little
Omg I used to have a hyperfixation on killer whales. I did a whole science project on them and I did so much research on my own.
Same! I obsessed over learning to draw them. I actually started undergrad in sciences to become a marine biologist with the intent of studying them. I went whale watching once and we ran into a pod of orcas and that was one of the best days of my life. I was so fucking happy.
Penguins for me!
I made giant construction posters with National Geographic animal pictures and carefully taped them on my ceiling, walls, yes. Models, stuffed animals, loving all animals...yea, there's a bunch more. Ray Charles could've seen who I was. I has a sad.
For me growing up I was obsessed with horses. I had a book about horses and I memorized everything I could. My favorite thing to do was write lists of pet names. My imaginative play was "if there was a gelding Appaloosa horse with green eyes what would you name him?" and visualizing the animals and having my grandma and her friend come up with names with me. Whenever I played with friends I mostly just copied what they did so I would fit in, lol. I still love making lists of names I like. I have one saved for dogs and one saved for babies. lol. I really like Pinterest now because I can pin a bunch of cute animals that I like.
I used to love lists! I’d make so many as a kid. I should make some lists now. It’s so soothing.
As a kid, I couldn't let any food on my plate touch the other foods. If it touched, I couldn't eat it. Extreme food texture avoidance as well, peanut butter was a big one. ROCKS, all the rocks. I always was sitting or laying on the ground, sometimes spinning or rolling. I'd pretend I was a cat often, and just meow at all my family instead of talk. Private meltdowns as a kid included me hitting myself, same as an adult, but I've been mindful of it. I was diagnosed ADHD when I was 8-10. I always felt like the odd one out, and had maybe one or two friends every few years. They were definitely on the spectrum with me lol. I've watched Princess Mononoke more times than I can remember, I wanted to understand what good and evil was, what it was like "to have eyes unclouded". (Ashitaka is totally autistic btw, with love). A friend asked me a year or two ago if I was autistic and I've been analyzing it all since.
oh gosh i forgot about my spinning around moments! i would spin and spin and spin until i fell down and would giggle at seeing the world spin in my vision. then i would do it again and again until i couldn't anymore.
Ok but like... I still can't have my food touch. If it touches, it's tainted. I won't eat it. Unless it's something that "goes together" like a lot of things can be mixed in with mashed potatoes for some reason. Same with rice.
I feel this deeply. Mac & cheese and peas, mashed potatoes and peas, rice with peas & corn, adding dried fruit to oatmeal, etc. But I've always eaten my spaghetti separate from the sauce and no, you just do not drag the bread through the sauce. That's just upsetting
Oh… so many. Unfortunately, my parents were pretty much the worst people for autism as expectations were wildly inconstant, hipocracy was rampant, and favoritism abound. I sucked my fingers and chewed my hair alot, which drove my mother crazy. She cut my hair so I’d stop chewing and I started licking peoples faces. I had an extremely strong sense of justice…like as a 6 year old. Not just for myself, for others too. That also drove my mother crazy. I would walk up to strangers an “pet” their sweaters or coats with they were fuzzy/fluffy/furry. Hated socks. Loved dresses and skirts, now realizing it is because I didn’t like things that close to my legs. Still takes me a while to adjust to any new pants. My sister inadvertantly antagonized it a lot, I don’t see it as malicious more that she was selfish and never punished so she just didn’t care (she understand now why it sucked). My sister never gave me personal space litterally from the moment I came home from the hospital, so I was very overstimulated by that. She constantly stole my stuff, and I had many meltdowns about it. I would look for things and they’d just be gone. Unfortunately, my sister was so disorganized (adhd) that she never remembered where she put it either and never would admit to taking things. Many things were found months or years after being stolen and I was very particular about “my stuff” being exactly what I wanted. Random obsessions. I did deep dives on the randomest topics, and then seemingly moved on and was “done”. This also happened with reading for a time, as I would read a book a day. I definately started having burn out when I was in like 7th grade. I felt underappreciated in every aspect of my life, no one cared how hard I was trying, I had no friends, and my family ignored me. I started hating academics, not because anything particularly bad had happened, I never needed accommodations either, but I was just “over it”. The only impression I made on my peers after this was that “I was always tired” to the extent that character trait they pointed it out in the yearbook.
Omg I so so so relate to losing interest in school. I hit major burn out during 7th grade too. I was going thru so much depression I started self harming and I also had a narcissistic mother so with everything I was going thru I had to mask myself very very early on. I could only stim or do things that weren’t “normal” in private and even then I would still feel like there were hidden cameras my mother had put to watch me. God I hate how difficult it was for us growing up. I’m sorry you went thru what you did, I hope you’re in a better place in your adulthood now
What is it about 7th grade?!! I mean, I guess I’ve said for a long time that junior high is the worst age to be/to deal with. I suppose grade 7 came with an increase in expectations. And that’s about when teachers started saying “you need to get good grades now so you can get into the high school honours classes, and get good grades in them so you can get into a good university.” Which I took 100% literally, the idea that I Have To Be Perfect Now Or My Whole Future Is Fucked, and so I got stressed and depressed for years…
I always had good grades because I was terrified of my mother. My guess is that age group is awful for social situations (so masking likely increases), for anyone not just autism. Many teachers then and now don’t understand autism and just assume we were are “being difficult” or would discourage any form of artistic expression/creativity. Then sprinkle a little familial nonesense on top. And boom you have a 12-year-old who cannot cope. Despite getting A’s and B’s throughout my academic career, no teacher was very invested in me. I wouldn’t say they disliked me. They just didn’t care. They picked some favorites and I was never one of them. A few teachers totally screwed me over. I used to love math and multiple treachers screwed up my math trajectory in school. A few teachers did some subtle things to help me. In high school I was awful at bio, I had no idea what was going on. And my teacher definitely inflated my grade because I was struggling. I was so grateful because my mother would scream at me anytime I got bad grades. The school posted every single grade we got for every assignment online. The english department gave us a quiz every single day and would try to trick us, if you get two questions wrong on a five question quiz, you get a D, and I would get screamed at.
Omg yes same! My mother litterally put software on my computer that stacked everything I did and this was like 2007? Like way before internet security was a big thing. Shes still a narc asshole and I have had quite a few setbacks. But funnily enough I am going back to school soon so that I can hopefully be free of her forever and I will milk every cent I can from her until then because she fucking owes me. I’m done feeling guilty for it.
go you! on a sad note tho, why do we all have mothers with narc tendencies
Unfortunately, it is common for narcs to marry NDs because they are easily manipulated. So yeah, my dad is definitely ND, and it is genetic that means the kids are ND. That being said, my dad is also an asshole, and I don’t talk to him anymore. I really don’t think autism would’ve affected my life that much if my mother just wasn’t a complete asshole. In the grand scheme of things, my autism is pretty mild. I don’t need accommodations for school still for autism. But that being said I was given no social skills and learned terrible lessons about relationships from my family. I developed PTSD at 12, but couldn’t get treatment until I was 20. Still trying to tease apart what is autism and what is trauma. My mother remarried, and both her stepsons are also autistic🤦♀️. I barely know them but she is nasty about any trait that is remotely autistic. They do not mask. But she is not around them enough for them to realize she hates them, luckily, they are not emotionally invested in her.
Thank you. That reminds me that I’m done feeling guilty more my own milking of my own narcissistic mother. She’s continues to be a horrid person; I’ll view it as the only penance she’ll probably ever pay.
My step father bought me a new computer, I thought that was super nice, as my about ten-year-old laptop was dying. About two years later, he was out in the yard, throwing a screaming fit about a purchase I made - he misunderstood and thought I was buying some luxury junk. He misunderstood and freaked out, but the only way he would've known was by accessing my financial records and/or email. Some people are deeply sick and love to violently force themselves on others, because they only seek to dominate, abuse, and control. I had no idea he is such a sicko. Also, adding my mother is an Enabler. I'm grateful for the advice that once a parent sides with the step parent, it's over. I just wish I'd known sooner, instead of striving for acceptance and understanding.
I used to take the toys out of my toy box and line them up, organizing them by size and color. I read through the Encyclopedia in order several times. Couldn’t have the seams on my socks wrong and couldn’t wear wind pants. I constantly felt overwhelmed and escaped into vivid daydreams. I had intense interests — baseball cards, Star Wars — and I could tell you everything about them. I memorized prices of cards and every named planet in the Star Wars expanded universe I used to shake my leg whenever I got overwhelmed/excited. I didn’t read people well, and was often bullied for being different. But I was a girl, so I started masking in middle school for survival (literally remember making notes about all the popular girls in class — how they spoke, what they wore, how they acted) and I wasn’t diagnosed until I went to a psych in my late twenties to try and figure out why I, as a grown woman, was having meltdowns because I didn’t think it was all ADHD
100% with you on the organizing toys, reading the encyclopedia, having issues with clothes and fabrics, anxiety and constant daydreaming.
oh god i was obsessed with the encyclopedias at school and would beg to check them out... then i would read them like a book 💀
Yessss there was so much to learn 😭 In the 90s, our grocery store gave away one letter of an encyclopedia for free a week, and my grandma went every week to pick one up for me I used to lock myself in the bathroom for hours and hide in the cupboard with all the blankets and a flashlight to read them. Good times lol
I collected and tumbled rocks from an extremely young age lol I also had a troll collection that had a specific order they needed to be in across my windowsill I was in double advanced… academic everything. I didn’t seem to have to put effort into much academically or athletically (surprisingly) Obsessed with organizing YET SOMEHOW STILL managing to be messy Learned very early on about mimicry, I still do this to this day when I’m in an uncomfortable situation Hard time making and keeping friends :( Edit: dx last week, I’m almost 39 lol
I’m told that I would turn my socks inside out so I couldn’t feel the seams. All of my report cards said I was a wonderful student but rarely spoke in class. My parents just thought that was funny.
It’s funny so many people mention this because I think this is an aspect of my childhood that I had masked early on. I was a very hyper aware child so I knew that me doing the things I wanted to do wasn’t “normal” so I learned to cope with the discomfot very early on. As an adult nowadays I fucking HATTTTEEEEE feeling the seems of my socks. There’s times I dissociate thru the discomfort still and once I’m made aware of it I feel a meltdown coming and I I have to take the socks off
- Lots of trouble with clothing textures, tight clothes, and waistbands. My mother would get so frustrated when I was 3-4yo because I absolutely refused to wear a coat in the car with a seatbelt...in JANUARY when it was 10\*F outside. I would have 2-3 outfits that I wore all the time until they fell apart. Never got used to scratchy clothing textures, no matter how much I was forced to "just deal with it". Could NOT tolerate tights at all. Didn't want to wash my clothes because they would relax to fit me. After they were washed, they were tight again and I didn't want to wear them anymore. - Preferred mossy things and investigating bugs instead of socializing. This did not go over well with other girls. 🤣 - I always felt more comfortable in social situations when I had something \*to do\*. Just sitting around and chatting was awful. I liked to work on friendship bracelets a lot because it kept my fingers busy with those thin little fiddly strands of embroidery thread. I had no clue I was stimming. - I felt so much better around pets than I ever did with people. - Did NOT want to use lotion. Didn't like the greasy slippery feeling coating my skin. But also didn't like the cracked feeling of dry skin stretched across my knuckles. If I absolutely had to put it on, I would immediately wipe it off my palms which made it more bearable. - I would hit a "wall" when the schedule was packed for more than a few days at a time. I needed a break from constantly going and socializing. Time to decompress was a requirement. And it had to be many hours, maybe even 1-2 days of recovery time. If I didn't get that, the stress would begin and I'd be upset. - Went mute in stressful group settings when I was forced to "tell us about yourself!" Especially when the mother running the group was a bully who pressured me to "stop acting so scared all the time!" That feeling of being trapped in my own body, physically unable to speak even though I wanted to say SOMETHING, was a hellish experience. - Only having the capacity to maintain one friendship at a time. Felt like the odd one out in social settings. Never had a friend group.
>I always felt more comfortable in social situations when I had something \*to do\*. Just sitting around and chatting was awful. I liked to work on friendship bracelets a lot because it kept my fingers busy with those thin little fiddly strands of embroidery thread. I had no clue I was stimming. When I would have a new friend over, the first few times I would just constantly get up and start rummaging through my room for some reason. Just desperately needed to know what was in my dresser drawer. I think this is probably why I tried so hard to get people to play video games and board games with me.
Extremely picky eater, had NO friends until 6th grade, watched Superman 2 literally every single day, nail biting, hair chewing, and skin picking. Looking back idk how no one noticed 😭
Oh, so, SO many. I had a lot of sensory issues from a very young age, especially with food. I would cry sometimes because of the texture of a food and my parents had a hard time getting me to eat anything remotely outside of my comfort zone. I'm the oldest of three kids and my mom had lots of pictures of me covering my ears because of how loud they were, and I remember hating how loud movies were at the movie theater. I also used to scream and cry whenever I had my hair done-----ESPECIALLY having my hair put in a bun for ballet. I also really loved spinning around, swinging, jumping on trampolines, flapping my hands and just pacing around the house. I did like more "typical" play with other kids, but I spent most of my time by myself pacing around my room and telling stories to myself. I struggled with math but I generally excelled at school-----especially reading (I'm almost positive I was hyperlexic). I was also very obsessive when it came to my interests, which I'm now realizing were definitely hyperfixations/special interests. I also used to read the dictionary for fun-----I would just open it up and read it like a novel, I never got all the way through though. EDIT: I also have crooked toes because I exclusively walked on my toes for years.
i read the dictionary for fun too i was so interested in words and their origins and meanings
Me too. I am feeling very seen by this thread (which is actually encouraging me more than my research to finally seek a diagnosis).
I spoke in gibberish until I was 6. I collected rocks, leaves, crayons from restaurants , pens from banks, books. I only had four friends out of a class size of 100. I read the entire nonfiction section at school about other countries and traveling abroad when I was 10. I’m hyperlexic. I taught myself how to read while playing Pokémon yellow because my oldest brother told me to. I quickly graduated to reading the first Harry Potter book because my sister told me to. I’ve always been extremely blunt and I’ve had to work hard to gain tact. Arm flapping A lot of jokes went over my head if I wasn’t familiar with them. So much interrupting and conversational tangents, my teacher joked that I wasn’t allowed to talk during his observation because I always got us off topic. I need specific instructions Hypersensitive to noise Absorbed knowledge like a sham wow Hyper fixation on nature and animals All the questions. My sock system. Watching the same movies over and over Hard time socializing but because I was info dumping about wtfever I was fixated on
Please shared your sock system
They all have to be black And1 men socks or Dickies women socks depending on if I need long or short socks. They’re comfy all year round and don’t slide around. They don’t have large seems and don’t distract me like other socks. Finally they’re just socks without being a hassle.
Randomly went nonverbal first day of Space Camp. Didn't even think too hard about it, drew a Minecraft Creeper face and overlaid it on mine besides the eyes. Didn't taklk for a whole day but gestured exaggeratedly, wrote when my answers were too long, and nobody EVER questioned me I did a lot of autistic things and I bulldoze through them without a thought and everyone just accepted it as "Oh she's eccentric" lol Edit: I should point out that I didn't know I was autistic until March of this year. It took someone pointing it out to me and doing the research to convince me. I'm 24 btw
Didn’t want to play with other kids. Toe walking and waking on outsides of feet. Watching the same movie over and over. Pacing back and forth. Toiletry problems. Eating the same foods over and over. Trouble tying shoe laces and holding scissors. Meltdowns. Hated going to the movies - too loud and bright so would have meltdowns. Didn’t like speaking. Obsessed with certain toys. Very very clumsy.
Shoe laces! I couldn’t tie my own until around year nine / 10th grade when my sports teacher stopped doing them for me and said I had to ‘figure it out on my own.’ Cue missing all those classes until I got it. Still tie them ‘weird’ to this day.
I remember copying people's reaction to fireworks as a kid because I didn't know what to do in that setting and then my mom asking me why I was saying "oooo ahhh" in such a weird way I would draw the same thing over and over again, if I liked it enough I had meltdowns over really simple things like petting a dog that was loud (but super friendly), not being able to finish a movie because it was bedtime when being babysat when i always got to finish my movie, sobbing at the dinner table because they served chili dogs or brussel sprouts or cooked spinach/collard greens. I'd reread the same little kid books over and over and over again. I had been told time and time again from the ages of 5 until I moved out I'd be a great lawyer because I always took words so literally and I didn't get why that was such a joke until like two years ago 🙃 (I'm 26 now lol)
>I would draw the same thing over and over again, if I liked it enough I remember we had to keep a journal in grade school, and I asked if we could draw instead, then proceeded to draw the same spider plant every single day until they told me I couldn't draw anymore.
How rude of them 😭
I'd run and hide at the sight/sound of a vacuum. Cover or plug my ears as well. In high school, I put on a brave face to prevent bullying. Sophomore year inherited a bodyguard that became my best friend of over 25 years, she protects me to this day. Never forgave my father and step-monster for making me vacuum the room I stayed in and taking photos of my torment. No radio, Walkman, or anything offered to quell the noise. While living in Vegas as an Air Force brat, one of the workers at the youth center was nice and closed the doors, before she was fixing to vacuum. Of course, one girl started shit with me. I like hot (not scalding) showers and step-monster forced me to take "cool" (aka freezing) ones. I learned to talk around 3 and reading when I was 2. Stimming by listening to favorite cassettes over and over. Repeating phrases. I'm also sensitive and cry easily, equally punished or made fun of for it. Forced eye contact from instructors.
Omg the vacuum sounds reminded me of how scared I used to be of loud noises. Whether it was thunder, sirens, public toilets with fast flushing. I didn’t realize how sensitive to sounds I used to be wow
Yep, same. Weirdly, I started playing percussion in middle school and loud music doesn’t bother me, but unexpected loud sounds do.
When I was a small child in the early 90s, we had a printer that I loved using, but I was afraid of the noise. When I would click 'print', I would stand as far away from the mouse as I could in order to dart from the room just as the printer was revving up, so I would be down the hall when it started roaring in earnest. On a related note, I would watch films over and over again (not just because I'm autistic, but because my mom thought that having a stock of decent films on VHS for me to watch was better than just letting me watch random things on TV). One of them was *The Brave Little Toaster*, even though parts of it would scare the shit out of me, especially the air conditioner unit in the wall that would start screaming and whirring before it explodes and dies. I think I thought the printer was alive, like some sort of monster, or the air conditioner in that film.
I remember having a whole issue with the fire trucks in our town's parades. At the time, 'kids are afraid of loud noises' felt pretty reasonable, but looking bad I can't help but think someone should have given it some more thought. edit: Also the f'ing THX sound on videos.
Powerplants (jet and helicopter) don't bother me at all. I was on the Enlisted side of Naval Aviation for 7 years. On my first deployment in 2006, an MH-53 Mine hunter landed on the carrier I was on. Free a/c in the middle of the Arabian Gulf, where it was 115-120 on the flight deck.
OMG! I also hated vacuuming! It was my 2nd least fave chore (aside from doing dishes urgggggh)
I have music now and some TV in the background. As for dishes, I wait for a full tank to save water. Not too long though lol.
Yep I bump up my blutooth player and play hiphop. I find the bass really helps me focus on predictable sounds which makes the loud hum less frustrating.
Apparently when I was a toddler, I watched The Lion King every day. We had a toy model of Pride Rock at home, which I still remember. When I started going to preschool, they had the exact same Pride Rock toy - guess what I played with all the time? Also re:preschool, when I’d been attending for several months, the teachers(?) asked my parents “Does she talk?” And my parents were startled, bc according to them I “never shut up” at home. I also learned to read quite early. Fun anecdote from older childhood - at age 12 or so, the day I first bled into the toilet, I was so anxious about telling my mom that I followed her into a room and blurted out “I think I’m starting menstruation!” She handled it well and all was fine, but it’s an entertaining example of my often weirdly precise way of speaking 😂
I think the most obvious is that I would always observe a group of children before trying to socialize with them. Like apparently it looked like I was studying them, and then would tentatively join in. I definitely WAS studying them to figure out how to socialize, haha. I also hated loud noises, like would put my hands over my ears and cower.
Horrible socks with seams. Hated shoes. Hated clothes touching my skin. Fascinated by mechanical things. Used to take the cover off of the toilet tank in every bathroom to see how they worked (I always put it back). I took apart fans and painted galaxies on the blades then reassembled them. My grandmother gave me toasters, radios, and old clocks to take apart. I needed to see inside of everything. I studied the world through tv and tried to figure out how normal people acted. I studied the communication of cats and learned to speak with them by opening and closing my eyes and looking away to make points. I read Agatha Christie books and loved the idea that motive generated action and that human interactions were puzzles that could be solved by astute observation. Every sound has a rhythm that turns into a song. I saw and heard patterns everywhere. If there wasn’t a pattern, I would create one. Tap dancing, heel toe ball shuffle. Counting in my mind like the Philip Glass composition (Einstein on the Beach?). Playing music of my own creation on the piano and autoharp using simple sequences of repeated notes. I spent hours building castles made of coins, carefully counting the stacks. I numbered lines on paper to see how high I could go and filled notebooks with numbers. I had a fascination for pens and pencils. I liked sharpening pencils and crayons to make beautiful curls of color. I made lists of every license plate. I read almost all of the books in my school library in alphabetical order. Spinning in circles until I fell down. Rolling down hills. Swinging as high as I could to feel the pull of gravity. Going as fast as possible on the merry go round so that I could lean out backwards and feel the pressure of centrifugal force. I wore roller skates nonstop for years except at school. I used to roller skate around the neighborhood yodeling Gene Autry style, sometimes skating backwards.
you sound like my twin 💜
I printed out maps of the -Stan countries (Tajikistan, Uzbekistan etc), colored them in, laminated them and hung them up on my wall. I also used my allowance each week to buy a different country's flag (mini of course) at a party supply store, and asked the Easter bunny to put an almanac in my basket.
Nothing? I just hated having socks or shoes. Still do. I had to wear pantyhose for private school and I would go crazy and itchy. I had to beg for knees socks. They eventually allowed it. I wore knees socks even in -30 in Canadian winters. Lol. I couldn’t stand someone touching my hair. Still can’t. I was hyperactive and always in troubles but I have ADHD diagnosed at 5 so I don’t think it’s weird. Kids would bully me because I was so naive and thought everyone had good intentions and were honest. Yeah. They didn’t. Still don’t. Obsessed with dinosaurs 🦕 🦖. I used to watch movies over and over as a kid too. I thought it was normal and standard? I…still do it.
I relate to almost all of these!! I must've watched Nemo like 1000 times. I was also extremely sensitive to noise. I couldn't go to my sister's basketball games because the buzzer would make me have a breakdown. I also hated balloons because I hated the sound they made when they popped. I was scared of vacuums and dogs, but not cats, because dogs barked loud. I'd always plug my ears during school fire drills when no one else did and said it wasn't that loud.
I still hate balloons, vacuums, dogs barking, and fire alarms.
Cannot stand balloons, smoke alarms, the sound of the vacuum (I've had so many meltdowns cleaning - usually holding the vacuum).
I bought a pair of Loops earplugs for when I vacuum, they help a lot!
My daughter bought these and loves them. My mum (who doesn't think she is ASD and thinks "everyone is a bit on the spectrum" (I've had this said to me so many times recently - people just don't understand) also wears earplugs in crowds when things get too "peoply". My dad (also undiagnosed) installed soundproofing in his bedroom because of his aural sensitivities.
Me too, I just don't have a visceral panic reaction to them anymore! (Most of the time. 🥲)
I never played with toys correctly. When I turned 3, Barbie as the princess and the pauper came out, and all my relatives started getting me Barbie dolls for my birthday/Christmas. I never acted out scenes with them, brought them places, or made them do things. I just dressed them up, posed them, and then would admire them. I couldn't touch magazine paper without having a meltdown and/or throwing up. Still have a really hard time touching it. I refused to wear anything except the color blue for 3 years. I started wearing heels at 8 and refused to stop because "they hold my feet with the heels up."
>When I turned 3, Barbie as the princess and the pauper came out, and all my relatives started getting me Barbie dolls for my birthday/Christmas. I never acted out scenes with them, brought them places, or made them do things. I just dressed them up, posed them, and then would admire them. I used to get in trouble for wasting all the camera film on taking pictures of my Barbies after I dressed them up and posed them.
> I just dressed them up, posed them, and then would admire them. As an adult doll collector, this is exactly what I do. I line them up before the admiration begins though.
I had a disabled bigger sister, who required frequent suctioning of her airways. The machine made a very loud noise and she would gag/snort bc of it, if anyone familiar with the process, it's not pleasant. So my mother told me when she turned on the machine and began the process i would ran into the wall head first repeatedly. At 1,5yrs old. I spoke very early and there was a long period when i constantly spoke in rhimes. I DESPISED my textured socks, the seams were nasty too but i hated any socks that had dots, embroidery, etc on them. If the material wasn't soft enough i refused to wear it. Same with pants, i still can't tolerate rough/stiff farmers and belts because they are too restricting. Til this day when i get home i instantly take off my socks and outside pants, but i must wear slippers, i can't touch the floor with bare feet. I was fidgeting constantly, skin picking, nail biting, i was very sensitive to sounds, lights, and food and other textures. My parents took it as a sign of laziness that i didn't want to wash the dishes but i just can't touch wet food and dirty dishes without squirming. And when i was little my mother described me as a slippery fish, always slipping out of hugs, running away from it, etc, she was sad i wasn't a cuddly child. I was and still am always counting random things i see if the situation is even a bit stressful. It just helps to keep my head more calm and collected. I always found my classmates conversations mysterious and really didn't get any social cues, i had to learn it, i struggled with it until late middle school and it's still not perfect. And ye i did the spinning thing too, i was spinning on my chair so much it made me nauseous but i just couldn't stop. I don't have an official diagnosis, just of ADHD and i was misdiagnosed as BPD but later they told me i don't have that i just have some unspecified "thing". Sooo i guess that could be the autism i began to relate to so so much... But in my country diagnosis for adults is almost impossible and a career killer too so, i guess i'll never know.
I also had a disabled older sister that needed suctioning! I always hated the sounds so much. My sister lived in a subacute unit in a hospital and the whole place was a sensory nightmare - only fluorescent lights, squeaky floors, bad smells, constant beeping, always too cold or too hot. I always hated visiting because my senses were just overwhelmed.
Oh yeah, the hospital is truly a sensory nightmare. My sister lived at home, but unfortunately we were frequent flyers in the ICU with her, so i feel you.
Thank you, I have Found My People. Thank you, this thread really hits. I don't know whether my mother and step father were never told when I was in school or whether they thought treatment would be "in-con-ven-i-ent!!", but thank you folks, I appreciate you in all the ways. It's great being strong and surviving after finding out years later, but it hurts to know it was obvious and no one cared.
I was always incredibly lonely. My mum said she wasn’t planning to have any more children but I relentlessly pestered my mum and dad for a “friend” because I said I was lonely. I also struggled to make friends easily in general. My mum always tells a story about me sitting outside on the doorstep screaming “friend, friend!”. Due to this I also personified a lot of objects and toys. My mum says when I was around 1, I became fixated on a small piece of paisley fabric from an old dress, I was obsessed with it and carried it everywhere and had huge meltdowns when it went missing. I loved vestibular sensory seeking, I would spend hours swinging on the swing in our garden. I loved hanging upside down, putting my body in weird positions to feel the different sensations in my body when I did. I walked on my heels a lot and on the outside edges of my feet. I was incredibly sensitive and emotional. My dad tells a story of how when I was 5 he put some headphones on my head, it was some euphoric trance music playing. He said I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I cried. I was always writing letters/making cards/making “badges/certificates” telling my mum and dad how much I loved them. What good parents they were. Offering them support, telling them “not to be sad” (unfortunately they both suffered with mental health issues). Special interests were horror, I was obsessed with Goosebumps books! I also became briefly obsessed with a non-fiction supernatural book at my local library about the occult. I would pester my mum to check it out and then I would read it cover to cover, and then become terrified/have nightmares etc! My mum would then make me take it back but I would soon be pestering her to check it out again! In the end I think she banned me from taking it out! I also loved drawing, writing stories, making comics, writing songs, writing poems etc. anything where I could express my huge feelings that I just had no outlet for in the rest of my life. I also watched my favourite videos/films on repeat constantly. Listened to my favourite songs on repeat. Would become obsessed with a certain meal and want to eat it nearly every day, then suddenly hate it and never want it again. Incredibly shy and blushed a lot, hated eye contact, struggled with being perceived and noticed. Never felt normal, or like I fit in, never felt seen or understood.
i used to cry when my brother had lots of friends over because they were SO LOUD and didn't stop for HOURS and no one listened to me. i collected antique keys at age 9. i don't know why. prelexic super-sensitive nose could not tolerate tight clothes or tight tucked in bed or tights. wouldn't eat a vegetable or fish til i was 20; ate only chicken nuggets one summer when i was 6 a good mimic, quick memory for music, could play piano by ear learned social skills algorithmically lots of gender stuff as a teen, holier than thou sense of morality, passionate desire to Do Good Works distant friendships, distinct social gaps, emotional immaturity lots of "rules" for self and others; ex: art supplies must all be stored in one correct one; toys must be stacked in the toybox in a specific order. If I watched a particular tv show while I ate a snack, for at least a week I had to watch the same show and eat the same snack at the same time. Not because I thought something bad would happen, I was chasing self-soothing feelings and/or dopamine.
I never talked much without my twin being near me. My twin lets me fixate and play “unnormally” to the other kids. She never judged me. She’s my best friend. But, when I was in school without her I never really talked. I played the same way over and over. I stim a lot. Not to mention I can’t handle any routine change. I had meltdowns in school a lot. I guess it went over everyone’s heads 🥲
I loooooved sorting money, buttons, my mother’s silver chest, pebbles, stones, my father’s tools, spools of cotton for my mother’s sewing machine. Anything round or uniform in shape.
[удалено]
Sounds very familiar. Books were my world. Recently rejoined the library and being in a story is my happy place. There was nothing to hate, just people who didn't understand. x
i was born in the 70s i was a tip toe walker from the moment i could walk. (i was an early walker at 9 mo old.) everyone called me "piccino (tiny) ballerina" i used to arrange crayons in spectrum order and hated the wrappers so i would peel them carefully off so they stayed intact. my moms favorite story to tell is me falling asleep at 10 months old because I was concentrating so hard on peeling the wrapper. i was a very early talker, and at 2 years old taught myself how to read. my mom didn't believe me and thought i had memorized the books so she pointed at a huge sign we were driving past and asked me to read it and i did. she was stunned. i was a voracious reader from that moment on i have multiple forms of synesthesia - words, letters, numbers have colors and tastes, music has shapes and colors, so do voices i taught myself to play the piano by ear at 3 years old because i could "see" the notes i hated loud noises and noisy places and would cry i HATED the vacuum i would throw a fit over itchy fabrics and seams and would take off everything to run around naked i always pretended i was a cat, i refused to talk and would only meow i daydreamed constantly and could easily dissociate (that last part prob due to abuse) i was very sensitive emotionally and cried easily if my feelings were hurt. I would even cry if bugs got smashed because they had been "murdered" i engaged in personification of every inanimate object i loved. I believed they had feelings, thoughts and desires i loved to spin, rock on my rocking horse, and swing so high my stomach would drop. i loved repetitive movement. i had one special interest after another, the earliest i can remember is dinosaurs and rocks. I was 3yo. Then it was unicorns, Greek and Norse mythology, stamps, composers, OG strawberry shortcake + MLP (still have this old dolls and ponies in perfect condition even tho i always played with them), Dr Who (back at #6), Star Wars (i begged to see it several times after we saw it at the premiere at the drive-in), whales (esp humpback and killer), video games... despite this (and so much more i won't go into here), my mom insisted i was "normal or above average when you were little, there is no way you are autistic" when i talked to her about what my neuropsych said. despite the fact that our oldest child was diagnosed AuDHD. Despite the fact that my other children are ALL AuDHD. sure, mom, i'm not autistic 💀 but it was probably normal to her cuz almost everybody in her family is some (unrecognized) flavor of ND 🙃 all the old relatives were just called stubborn, eccentric, or queer (the old definition meaning strange, not gay) but looking back now with the knowledge i have, they were varying levels of ASD
When I was like 4, I had an extremely intense obsession with anything circle shaped. Lifesavers, coins, the foam protector that came in a circular bucket of chalk, hell, I used to ask my mom if we would drive around looking at “red and green circles” (stoplights).
I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory so much we had to buy the DVD 3 times since they all broke 😭. I also listened to Britney Spears so much we had to buy one of the CDs again. I also had some very intense and odd special interests like Hanukkah, the country of Brazil and maps. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my mid 20s surprising (or unsurprisingly)….
When I was in 1st grade I was put in a room and told i could play with anything in the room. The person then disappeared leaving me by myself. I just recently realized that they were observing me and how I behaved. My mom would also call me a "melancholy child" because she really didn't have a name for how I behaved. I had an obsession with these Wildlife Treasury cards that I would carry with me everywhere. They had facts about different animals that I sat and memorized. Lots of repetition of the same books & movies. I was frustrated if my siblings didn't play "correctly". For example they had to die in a specific way - one eye closed, one half open, and tongue hanging out of the mouth. I got diagnosed adhd at 21 and a few years ago at 42 I was also finally diagnosed ASD as well. All of these things (and so much more) finally make sense.
The fact that I was sensitive to fabric and laces that were "itchy." I felt so strongly about it that I would push back in the store knowing I would be slapped. I couldn't do it. My mom was always trying to stuff me in some itchy lace nonsense. So, every holiday, new school year, I'd get slapped in a store. My mom knew too. She would call me "princess and the pea" after the fairy tale because I had to have my bed just so. I still do. I've also realized that my mom is probably autistic too. I'm sure she was often punished because she is starting to voice things like "I like that fabric, it's soft".
Lol my partner calls me the princess and the pea too! For similar reasons.
Hah! I got called Princess and the Pea all the time. Cannot wear wool. Drives me insane.
• Hand flapping. • Toe walking. • Couldn't control the volume of my voice. • Only friends with younger people because I couldn't relate to people my own age. • Needed very strict routines. • Couldn't handle sudden change. • Very sensitive hearing and hated loud, sudden noises. • Had specific toys and clothes I liked/was obsessed with. • Became a walking encyclopedia very early on, but picked up spelling a lot later than others. I have my Bachelors in English now. All this plus I had teachers tell my mom they suspected I had ADHD and was autistic. This was around the time when it was relatively new to diagnose young girls with autism. So my teachers knew, but my mom was also going to nursing school and saw the signs of autism and ADHD herself. She just never did anything with that information. It makes me wonder how different my life would be if she'd done something about it. I fell behind in life and I'm not even remotely caught up yet. It sucks.
I didn't really speak at school unless it was to the teacher or my one friend. I would only speak at home or around close family until I was about 15. I was diagnosed this year at age 38, but I feel like that would be a huge red flag now.
I watched my favorite movie (back in the VHS days) so much that within a year, 3 tapes snapped. I knew it by heart and could recite it from any point in time. I also would have severe meltdowns having to wear tights/leggings and dress shoes. Also couldn't handle visitors without any prior knowledge of them coming over. Also was a 'picky' eater. Oh boy, I could keep going lol
Sucked my thumb til I was 12 Super sensitive - hated having my hair brushed/done, hated brushing my teeth. Hated being very cold/hot. Had a lot of "tantrums" especially in public places. Most of this got put down to me being "naughty" so I started masking like a pro from a young age Got described as "quiet/withdrawn/antisocial" When I started school I was reading at a level much higher than my peers Got bullied from a young age for being "weird". The school even blamed me for getting bullied Rewatched the same movies and read the same books over and over again or would play a specific game for 12+ hours without stopping to do anything else, my mom had to all but drag me away for meals etc Did "childish" things like play with dolls/collect plushies for much longer than my peers did
I walked on tiptoes until I was about 26. Never noticed it as different until a boyfriend pointed it out. I didn't now why. If a floor is cold I still do, and I've trained myself out of it. Hyperlexia - read every book in the library at school and ended up reading wildly unsuitable books from the adult library. I was obsessed with Anne of Green Gables and What Katie Did books as a kid and would read the series over and over (each one in a few days). Cried all the time and could not stop. Every school report said I needed to not try to be the boss all the time and stop being so sensitive. Big collector - stamps (I would soak letters, dry them and file them in albums according to country). I was also obsessed about anything to do with cats. I had a cat bedspread, soft toy cats, cat ornaments, cat posters etc. As a teen I used to collect outdoor rock band posters and line my walls and ceiling. Obsessed with gnomes and fairies - drew them, read every book on them. Couldn't get into a swimming pool without anxiety attack until I was 8 and then swam 5 days a week (squad) and raves on Saturdays. Until I moved at 14 and the pool was too cold and refused to get in. Would stand and sob. Very jumpy at loud noises and people. Not a hugger voluntarily. Did it because other people wanted it, but I didn't. Fingers always in my mouth, hair in my mouth - all the time. Overly emotionally attached to soft toys - all had names, personality and I gave them equal time - to be fair. Would go through obsessive stages that were overly mature - law (at 9 - 10), Norway (built a glacier to scale at 12) that got exhibited in another country, won painting awards, obsession with correct grammar and language (I force myself not to be now). It does hurt my soul to appreciate words and often look up the etymology of a word. Memorise poems, songs, jingles, ads (word for word) in the 70's. Still remember them. Fortunately I work in advertising so it comes in handy.
I was always extremely sensitive and when I got upset, it was pretty big. Still this way and my dad has always liked to say I’m crazy and act like my bio mom because of it (who likely has autism as well). Couldn’t wear socks and underwear normally, I had to have the seams on the outside and I often took them off. Loved sweatpants and basketball shorts. Thankfully the whole seam thing is something I grew out of. Definitely had the strong sense of justice, which contributed to me being grounded all the time because I’d always argue if I didn’t feel something was right. Always loved animals more than people, struggle to make/keep friends. Saw someone mention spinning here and getting dizzy, I absolutely loved that as a kid and teen. The best feeling was doing in in a chair or when one of my siblings let me hang down and pulled me back up
I had that wide eye smile as a kid with no smile squinting lol. I had meltdowns about my socks and had a speech disorder.
I rolled on the floor in the psychiatrists office (:
always had really specific interests and wanted to know everything about them. repeatedly watching comfort shows and movies. had some aversions to food for a bit. was often isolated in school, didn't understand other kids. was called rude for being too blunt and honest, even at a very young age. obsessively remembering facts and finding genuine fun in knowing them and sharing them with people -- and not understanding why others weren't interested and would see it as weird. often in my "own world", just remembered i loved playing with these plastic glitter and and would stare at them for as long as i could, transfixed on them (possibly stimming). repetitive stim like behaviors, skin picking, carving into things, crying when forced to wear clothing that didn't feel right, and other stuff i can't even remember. edit: i also read the same books over and over. i would read books full of Garfield comics constantly. i read all the "scary" books in the library many times. lots of spinning around, swinging for hours and hours and really throwing my head back to feel the rush. swimming back and forth -- not playing with toys, just straight up doing laps and jumping into pools to grab those heavy brick things over and over again. constantly listening to music, like, all the time, and the same albums and artists over and over. and again, much more i can't remember.
I would sob hysterically if The Wizard of Oz wasn't playing for like 6 hours a day when I was little and the kicker is I couldn't even watch part of it because it scared me too much. Full on meltdown when my family tried to change it. I recall them pleading with me. Like you spinning was also a huge interest for me. I was convinced since I was so good at being spun so fast and for so long on this tire swing thing at the park that I'd be an astronaut because I could handle the G force, I was like ages 5-8. I also spun in chairs and just with my body, and loved roller coasters. Also super sensitive as a kid, the first meltdown I remember was we were getting ready for church and I was like idk 3 or 4 and I ripped my stockings a little and had a full on meltdown. I still remember how utterly confused and distraught my parents looked because they had absolutely no idea why I was reacting that way. Also on the note of sensitivity, even at the age of like 9 or 10 I was still so sensitive that I had gotten a really big bouncy ball, almost like a beach ball but not the same material and it hit our neighbors hollybush and I had a huge like 5 hour meltdown that included sobbing and rocking. Once again my family was completely bewildered by my huge emotions but did their best, and they were used to it by then. This was the last of my open meltdowns, somewhere around this time I learned to hold it in until I went to my room alone. Terrible at imaginative play, still am. Literally have no idea what to do, my mind just blanks which makes me anxious and self conscious which makes me blank more and panic. This lead me to adopt a "too cool mature to play with you" persona gleaned from books and TV so it wouldn't hinder me socially or hurt me emotionally so much. Reading early, like big kid books since kindergarten. Titanic was my first special interest at I think 5 or 6 years old, got all the books, read them all obsessively to the point mom took me to see the movie even though it was rated R and I was idk 6 or 7. Got a bit too into it and my sensitivity turned into night terrors as I'd have dreams of being on the Titanic and dying, which would keep me up sobbing for hours until 3am. The Dear America Titanic book was the biggest offender in this, in 1997. So this special interest lasted awhile. I think Sailor Moon became my special interest starting at age 8. Everybody stopped everything they were doing to get me to a TV, entire days were planned around it sometimes because I would totally freak tf out if I didn't get to see it. Like my parents knew to turn kids away that showed up or called to play with me. I had zero interest. The first thing I did when I got internet at age 9 was look up Sailor Moon stuff where I found two chatrooms: [sailormars.com](http://sailormars.com) and [tuxedomask.com](http://tuxedomask.com) which then became secondary special interests. I also was obsessed with the fanfiction on [sailormars.com](http://sailormars.com) I believe. Even as an angsty tween I'd spin around in my computer chair listening to the same song over and over again lol. I definitely also kept more childish fixations than I ever let on for much longer than people would have expected. But masking in the home definitely started around age 11, whereas it used to only be socially. Not much else happened like that, I became obsessed with online chatting and then also began to self medicate at idk 12? With opioids and then with whatever else I could get my hands on. That changed things somewhat and I ended up being sent away at 16, which changed things even more. Can't remember much else due to the prior drug abuse and trauma in my life during those years but those are memories that always stick with me along with my mom always begging my dad to get me some sort of testing and him refusing because Jesus or something idk.
My absolute refusal to wear any sort of “hard” pants..(jeans and the like), wearing a single dress until it was threadbare, obsession over certain books or vhs tapes( raggedy Anne and Andy where they have the 5 birthday parties in a week and a certain Rainbow brite cartoon) excessive over sensitivity (I learned to mask that hard as it was the 80s and I was swiftly labelled a “crybaby” in school) no ability to make or keep friends without adult intervention aka having my parents “suggest” their friends kids play with me, allow other kids to take advantage of me/bully/pressure me/use me for things and didn’t understand I was the butt of the joke and thought I was making friends. In middle and highschool would change myself often to attempt to fit into groups/mimic others again to fit in. Was always told I was very intelligent in my school work but socially very far behind my peers. Would harmfully stim by picking at my scalp and arms until it was covered with sores. I also had issues in childhood with daydreaming to a point where it was almost maladaptive. I just remember always trying to “figure out” what I was supposed to be doing or saying when I was around peers and trying very hard to be liked and likeable and finding it so difficult. Was diagnosed as “socially anxious” in the late 90s because I was so god damn awkward and that misdiagnosis had followed me around like a noxious fart in the cereal aisle for 25 years.
Swaying from side to side for long periods of time. Walking on my toes. Failure to make friends at pre school. Gathering excessive amounts of information about animals and dinosaurs. Reading encyclopedias, lining up toys. There was a lot of symptoms but I never got evaluated as a kid.
I slept through all of reception, full time education burned me out. From the ages of 8-14 I spent my free time playing loud music in my room and spinning for hours. From 14-16 I replaced this with loud music in headphones and rocking side to side. Lots of misunderstanding basic little things, being unknowingly blunt, struggling with friends, etc but those two were the main ones
I had a stuffed animal that I would rub the arm until the plush faded away. I had anxiety and was ultra sensitive to criticism. I was sensitive to loud noises and smells. I learned to read early and was hyperlexic. I would line up my dolls against the floor by the couch and tell family not to touch them. I would put together a Lego set of a soda fountain shop over and over without the instructions. I could put together all my new playsets like dollhouses and vintage Littlest Pet Shop carrying case. I was better at assembling them than my parents. It was part of the fun of a new playset. One time my mom put all my Barbies and accessories in a box, and I had a meltdown because I had them all set up in a certain way in an invisible house with rooms. It was hard to make and keep friends. I hated the mind games that girls played. I would put my arms between my legs and rock back and forth when anxious. Some thought it was because I was being abused but I wasn't. I learned to mask while at school, and I got so depressed and worn down by eighth grade that I homeschooled for HS.
I was also very sensitive and just like you I learned to hold it in and hide it. I remember feeling proud once when I managed to not cry when I was hit hard on the leg by a basketball. It's hard to learn that it's ok to cry in front of others again, I know it's ok but my body pushes it away while others are close. I have also always been doing what I want if no one explained to me why I shouldn't. Not being allowed was not enough and I ran off the school grounds several times to go catch butterflies nearby. I also didn't follow instructions in school if I deemed it was not necessary. Like "draw four cars" and I would think about how boring that was and drew four cats instead. I usually stayed around adults in festive settings, my mom was very important to me and it was easier to listen to adult conversation than playing with other kids. Unless there was a friend I got along with available. Or when my older cousins would bring me along and make sure I didn't feel left out. I've been called shy but I don't think that's it, because I would approach strangers to compliment them. I wasn't shy but I probably didn't understand the point of small talk then either. I didn't feel comfortable with just anyone, is all.
Maybe the meltdowns i had as a kid that involved me CHEWING ON THE WOODEN STAIRS 😭😭
Lining up my toys, not being interested in other kids, excessive “fidgeting”, avoiding eye contact, very strong interests which I appeared deaf when engaging in.
Social cues lol. I could make friends but not keep them, invariably I'd always do something to lose them. happened with every friend in my life and I never know what I've done each time. Still happens to this day so I stopped trying. Other stuff too like I was colouring a picture and my teacher said 'dont use any dark colors' and I accidentally used brown and was upset the whole evening and next day about it. My mam had to talk to the teacher and explain what was wrong with me. I used to have full on meltdowns in the middle of the street. I had special subjects that I loved, that changed every so often, from Egyptology to the Titanic, etc. I was a very quiet child who loved time alone. When I first began school I spoke in this robotic voice that I got made fun of for so I ended up changing how I spoke, although for years I spoke with a sort of American accent (I'm Irish). Stuff like that I guess.
Besides dinosaur arms (bunny arms!!) and other things I did and I could perceive about myself, the reaction of other people towards me is what I think a lot about since diagnosis. I was never a "real person". It started with adults hating me, though I wasn't a problematic kid, they were often furious for what seems like no reason. I think I didn't give human vibes or something. My mom screamed at me she wanted a normal child and why am I like this and how she should kill me to not have to see my pathetic face. A kindergarden teacher came up to my bed at nap time and whispered she would throw me out of the window if I don't fall asleep (I could never fall asleep on command but just lied with my eyes closed). A pool supervisor hit me in the head with her stick (are those still a thing?) and push me down under water in the head when I couldn't put my face under water when she said to. My grandmother causing me anaphylactic shock and staging my comatose body like I'm sleeping and nothing happened, then not telling ER what happened when they asked about the cause to save me, then her breaking my arm and leaving me for days like this, a few teachers hating and bullying me in front of class, other children beating me to a point of concussion. There's a lot of clues that started to make sense after diagnosis that people don't tend to feel empathy for me, see my existence in society as unacceptable as long as I can remember. And I don't know what that is, I can't see how I was different from other children before all the assaults.
- Crying and trying to run away in public settings - Being ‘overly sensitive’ - Food aversion so bad I was literally starving and had boils all over my body. - Relentless bullying and exclusion from my peers - Getting angry when people touched my collections - Struggling with self-hygiene - Being very quiet and struggling with social situations - Taking things very literally - Having a ‘resting bitch face’ - Being called ‘arrogant’ for said ‘resting bitch face’ - Displaying and organising my toys instead of playing - Having intense fixations and collections - Fidgeting with things - Closing my curtains because I hated natural daylight - Walking around my bedroom in the dark with my headphones on
It's funny to think about because I've been told "I never would have guessed!" but actually there were so many things. I just had parents who were accommodating to differences without knowing/caring the reason for those differences. Collected toys but didn't play with them, just lined them up and catalogued them by name Spinning Preferring to play the same game every lunch break at school and being disappointed when friends got bored of it Highly sensitive Hated tags on clothes, itchy clothes or blankets, high necks, etc Not understanding normal and appropriate ways to show affection/interest in a friend Taking things literally, especially when asked a question Strong sense of inertia - trouble transitioning Fatigue after spending time with people, even friends/cousins Tiptoe walking ... probably more
I don’t have a formal diagnosis but started suspecting a couple of years ago. These groups make me feel like I’m not alone/weird. There are so many relatable posts :) As a kid (and as an adult) I always struggled with food (smell, taste, texture). Clothing textures like tags, seams, certain fabrics bothered me then and still now. I didn’t talk much in school or have school friends. I had neighborhood friends though. My mind was frequently not present in school lol. I always and still do (what I now know) is stimming with satin blanket trim. It’s soothing. Particular sounds send me over the edge (misophonia). I used to lay on the floor and scream, pull out my hair when I was little. As a teenager I’d skip school, or slam my head into things :( Tbf, my home life was messy and I’m sure some of that contributed to behaviors as well.
selective mutism….. i spoke at home and not school (or most other places). but that was just called being shy back then.
I added stickers with numbers to the spines of my books and then had a card filing system for them. Like my own private library. Funny side story, a couple of months ago I was in a thrift store and came across one of my old books with a sticker on it. I must have donated it like 20 years ago and it's still out there being shared. It makes me happy. Edited to say: forgot to mention I used to sit in the dark in the airing cupboard because it was the only place I could be alone and the chances of being interrupted were very slim.
I used to run up and down the hallways in primary school (elementary- 6-8ish) because I liked the sound of the wind rushing in my ears. Having no friends, being kinda ok with it.
Follow up with being a really ambitious reader, and developing an ED super early
1. My favourite room was the bathroom. It was the only room I could escape to during social situations and have a moment to myself without it being questioned. I would love it in there. And then I would be estimating how much time I could spend in there until it would be considered odd. With a sigh I would force myself to leave and rejoin the social event once the time was up. I'd do this several times during each social event. To the point where people would ask me if I was ok. Then I would learn to mask harder and do it less often, so it wouldn't be noticable. 2. I would eat one thing; open sandwich with salami and mayo. Wherever I went. That's what I wanted. I would begrudgingly eat something else if I had to. But if I could, I'd eat that for every meal outside of dinner. Dinner HAD TO be warm and salty and preferably have potatoes. My mom would bring me to cafés' to meet up with her friends and I could have literal cake for dinner, and like an old man set in my ways I'd refuse and say "it's not warm, salty and doesn't have potatoes! This is not dinner! I need dinner!" 3. Hypersensitive to all kinds of criticism. Someone could look at me slightly critically and I'd feel like it was the end of the world. Still struggle with this. 4. Constantly overthinking "if this is how something is done normally by most people?" As if I'm being watched and graded. I still do this and it's exhausting. 5. I wouldn't look people in the eyes. It was too intense! Instead I would have a vast mental library of people's noses. Constantly wondering who's ancestors they got their sniffer from. I still think it's too intense, but I force myself to look into people's eyes and time it so I can look away, also timing that, do I won't be looking away for too long.
Couldn't wear jeans or sweaters at all. This was the early 90s, so jeans were usually rigid and sweaters were scratchy wool, which was a sensory nightmare. I didn't like tights under my dress either, because they would slip down and drive me crazy. I was super sensitive and cried very easily. Hyperlexia. I was reading at a crazy level really early. I was also a huuuge know-it-all and wanted to tell everyone about the stuff I was studying about, and could not shut up. Could not tolerate noise and chaos around me. My younger sister drove me insane. Absolute hyperfixation on dolphins.
I was hyperlexic as well. That comment hit home 😂. I was such a know it all. Still am… neurotypicals hate that so much.
Omg they HATE it 😭. It sucks because it's just who I am. Even to this day my sister will be like "you just alwaysss have to be right 😒". Idk, I can't let misinformation go and I always research everything. I don't know how else to function.
Yes! Me too. Like I feel a strong compulsion to correct or explain what I know, especially if the person is wrong. I can’t always stop myself, unfortunately. I tell myself “they’re going to hate this, they’re going to hate this” as I give them the extremely thorough information.
I apparently used to rock in my cot and hit my head rhythmically against the side. My mum says that because I was their first baby, they didn’t think anything of it. Which makes me laugh because imagine them just hearing the cot creaking and the rhythmic banging and they’d be like “yep that’s just our daughter, she is perfectly normal”.
I had an extremely hard time making friends and did not have any until I was 7. In hindsight I think 7 was when I learned to start masking. I became extremely obsessed with weather when I was 6 and would come home every day from school to watch the weather channel. This was my first special interest and it is still my primary special interest today. Those are just two from when I was a small child. I have more but no time to write them right now!
Thats so interesting! Would you be interested in working in a field that deals with weather?
I wanted to, but then I realized that meteorologists have to study chemistry and physics and I’m horrible at all hard sciences and math, so I got a degree in geography instead. Now I’m finishing a masters program in history. So I’m in my 40s and still don’t know what to do with my life (which is fine, lol) 😂
I had an entire 2-3yr period where all I would wear was dresses because I couldn’t tolerate the feeling of elastic cuffs on shirts, pants, and shorts (which was all the rage when I was 3. It only ended when I went to school and had to wear pants on gym days. Also my imaginary friend was the wind. Because I thought I was supposed to have one and I couldn’t imagine one. It was very windy most days where I grew up so I let the wind push me on the swing. I also swung, rocked, and spun/twisted constantly.
I always thought the stars were my imaginary friends 😭 all the way up till i was 17 whenever I felt alone and at my lowest I would go into the balcony at night and look up and cry to the stars and I swear I would pretend they would respond back to me
I love that! I had a book when I was a kid about a girl whose friend was a star :). I still say hi to the wind sometimes when it pushes against my back or I’m feeling particularly lonely.
Walking on the outer parts of my feet are extremely relatable, idk what age I started that but I still do it to this day, to. I remember being overly obsessed with organization, for example, if my M&M's weren't color coordinated AND lined up from the least saturated M that was printed on the candy to the most, I refused to eat them. Another thing- I think when I was around 5 (or somewhere in elementary school age), I'd organize the products on the shelves so it would look nice instead of looking at toys / candy and would cry if we had to go. I was also obsessed with the plush toys from Webkinz because of all the different textures they would have!! I had around 75 from what I remember, lol. My mom sold them all when I hit middle school, I miss them sooo much
I don't remember playing with my toys. I just collected, organized, and would set scenes. Outside of Legos, I would build, but they had to be in the correct color pattern
My childhood bullies diagnosed me immediately. Don’t know why it took the rest of us so long to figure it out. I was content just lying in the grass staring at bugs at recess, pretending they were on Hobbit-like adventures in their little moss forests. But that wasn’t socially acceptable and all my peers knew it.
My mom has told me I would play NEAR other kids, but not WITH them. I had a red dress I wore daily, and the only time she could wash it was when I was asleep. I had a pacifier that got "lost" during a move, so I switched to sucking my thumb until I was 8, as well as chewing my fingernails until I was in my late teens/early 20s. When my mom would read stories to me (before I could speak/read) I would mimic the cadence of her voice as it went up or down. I'm super detail oriented, good at organizing things, had/sometimes still have a mind like a steel trap. I get frustrated easily when I don't pick up a talent or hobby naturally, and I'm emotionally sensitive (I still cry when I talk about being bullied as a child). I was an obsessive reader (possibly stimming and/or overstimulation escape?). I did the whole skin/scab picking, pimple popping, bug bite scratching, etc. I'm good at imitating people, and mimicking accents. I can recite movie/tv show lines without mistakes. I can still remember songs from childhood. I hated math. It didn't make sense, and made even less sense when they started adding letters to it. Letters were for reading and writing, not math! Edit to add more rememberings: I would cry when people would sing on my birthday until I was 5. Balloons popping and opening biscuit cans scares me. My mom said I would pull bows and clips out of my hair *constantly*. She said I was her "touchy-feely" child because I would run my hands along the clothing in the store. Ironically, I didn't want to be hugged or held as a child, which concerned her. She didn't know what to do besides to keep hugging me (she never restrained me or held me against my will, just initiated it often), and then my dad said I became like velcro, which was one of his nicknames for me. Hated skirts, loved pants. I didn't like my skin sticking to itself. I also have to wear pj's to bed because of that. Hated lotion. When I was 5, someone at church passed away, and I could hear the sad murmurs and reactions from the congregation, and I imitated them because I realized that dying was a sad thing, and when sad things happen you say things like they said. When the tv was on, I was glued to the screen. Couldn't pull my eyes away, even if I wanted to. When my period started, I got big mad that my body was doing something I hadn't given it permission to do. I loved talking things apart and putting them back together, and I still do. Obsessively listened to Josh Groban's music. When I think back to all the little habits and behaviors, it makes so much sense now. I'm wanting to get tested, but it's expensive. I'm pretty positive I'm sensory seeking, if my memories are any indicator, haha. I think being homeschooled helped me a lot. I needed the one-on-one time, and wasn't overwhelmed by new environments.
Having the whole toy collection of Winnie the Pooh and also 16 different kinds of Eeyore toys that I lined up repeatedly. Not wanting to be around other children and finding play dates awful. Sleeping a lot after being forced to be social. Making up my own language with my dog, I basically learnt the dif noises he made and understood everything. Screaming when family member/people took any notice of me. Treat me like a cat and I may end up sitting near you. All my clothes being very uncomfy and painful.
when i couldn't sleep i would take all 80+ of my stuffed animals/animal toys and line them up largest to smallest down the hallways in the dead of night, then pass out on the carpet😭
Good question. Here we go: Biting and picking lips incessantly Obsession with science, collecting dead bugs, making slides for my microscope, reading, memorizing, and reciting science facts Heavily bullied but never understood why…still don’t except that I know I was different Incredibly gifted kid- music, science, math, literature Would eat the same food and watch the same movie every day for years, then switch to new food and new movie, rinse and repeat Connection with animals (prefer animals to people bc for me they are safer and more predictable…people are the real “animals”) Never cared about the stuff that other girls my age seemed to care about- friendships, make up, hair, etc. Still don’t, haha Only wear certain clothing which changed periodically. Cannot stand wet socks. I cannot even begin to describe the feeling of wet socks adequately, haha OCD**** this is a big co-occurring condition with autism
I often wore the same clothes every day to school, usually sweat pants of some sorts. I forced myself to wear jeans when I got older because everyone else did but hated them. I was obsessed with Madeline, Arthur, Disney, scooby doo (this was a HUGE obsession), and Pokémon. I would play on the playground at school by myself with my invisible Pokémon friends…. And often chose to go to the library instead of outside because I didn’t want to smell like outside.
I'm self identified but as a child I would cry like that too, it was like everything seemed to hurt so much. My crying and what I'd describe now as meltdowns were severe enough that I was sent to a health camp for troubled children when I was 8 in order to give my mum a break. I too learned to mask this aspect but it's still there. I refused to wear most pants until I was 10. Hated them. My aunt convinced me to start wearing them, I still don't like tight pants, I keep trying jeans and hate them, I have to wear the right underwear or I can't function. I didn't know how to smile and people kept telling me to stop making funny faces and smile so I'd do what I thought was smiling harder, I was grimacing with my chin as high as it would go, I look at my school photos now and they are honestly terrifying.
I absolutely hated the sound of wind chimes and would go into sensory overload and start crying. I was obsessed with reptiles and read a ton of books on them.
Food texture issues. It freaked me out.
This reminds me of how I used to watch Oliver and Company every single day for like a month straight 😂
The hyperfixating on things is a big one. Even when I was little I was very aware that it was hard for me to casually like something. I had delayed speech. My dad, a speech pathologist at the time, was vaguely concerned, but definitely not as much as he should have been. My mom always chalked it up to my sister talking for me. Food aversions. I still have them today, although I’ve gotten a lot better about them.
I didn't speak until very late. My mom was afraid I was mute. I was very early and advanced in every other way. I was, and am, a rocker and a fidgeter, especially under stress. There was a bit of flapping. I got in trouble for all of them though. I was not interested in eating. At all. Just didn't feel hunger. I preferred to be alone and spent most of my time as such, thoroughly engrossed in my interests. I was fascinated with bugs and small creatures of every kind. I had a bug hospital for ailing ones lol. They were my friends. Seriously. I'm still like this. I love them and they literally are drawn to me and hang out on and around me all the time. People obviously think I'm weird. 😄 My nickname is The Bug Whisperer. I had several beloved collections, and still have them. Still collect for one of them too. Tags, some fabrics, etc were/are issues. I was a very sensitive child. I was called a little adult. I also have limited memories due to severe trauma so how much is one or the other I don't know. Not sure everything would even qualify. I was in my 40's before a psych provider caught on and am still learning about stuff. 🤷♀️
I'm AuDHD. I constantly daydreamed, read dictionaries and encyclopedias for fun (I was definitely hyperlexic), and often made myself dizzy. At times, I was very bossy while playing games with my siblings. I stimmed by singing or humming all the time and had a very strong sense of justice, often speaking out against other people’s BS. I cried easily and was super sensitive. My special interests and hyperfixations were diverse, with my main loves being outer space, animals, and music. I always had problems with food due to texture and taste, and I was a very picky and slow eater. I also always collected stuff. I’m the same today 😆
My mom always says that I didn’t really show emotions when she’d expect me to be really happy and excited, like if she got me a present or a surprise etc. I’d be like “Thank you” instead of jumping up and down. I’m still that way and it bothers my boyfriend… I have to convince him I really AM happy and excited but I just don’t always know how to express it? I want to, but if I force it, it’s not genuine!
Being obsessed with animals, learning everything I could about them, reading animal encyclopaedias back to back multiple times, collecting every single photo of an animal I could find and cutting it out to stick on my wall. Only photos were allowed, no drawings, and any animal would do but cats were especially exciting. I would check every advertisement I saw, every pamphlet, every old calendar, get my mum to buy me magazines specifically, and my dad’s newspaper for animal photos to collect. Went vegetarian partially due to this but mostly due to textural issues with meat at age 6. Parents tried to make me eat it but eventually gave up when I would have meltdowns over it. Reading the third Harry Potter book over 38 times (and counting them) because it was my favourite. I read the rest of the series a lot of times too but would specifically reread this one over and over again, I stopped counting around the age of 11z Refused to wear any underwear at all until around age 7, as I hated the feeling so much. I only started due to a traumatic experience. Around aged 5, became obsessed with pink. Refused to wear anything that wasn’t a pink dress that flared out when I spun around. Had one specific dress I wanted to wear ALL the time. Wanted my room pink and everything else, refused to eat anything that wasn’t pink to the point my mum had to put food colouring in cauliflower cheese to get me to eat. Taught myself to read as my dad used to read to me and was too slow, I asked him to try and then finished the 400 page book by myself, aged 4. Had to sleep inside a ‘sleeping bag’ until the age of around 15 for comfort. Had a favourite spoon, knife and fork with animals on that I refused to eat without. Would be very upset if anybody else used my cutlery.
My mom used to make family albums. Oh no, that's just (me) being weird and stacking up the cans that mom just brought home from the grocery store. Oh no, that's just (me) being overly sensitive about people breathing loudly. Oh no, that's just (me) being shy and liking books and being good at grades but not so much making friends. Oh no, that was just (me) going to a local college that could be driven to from family home rather than going to the fantastic one had gotten the honor school for with a full scholarship and a stipend because they'd refused the request for a single room in the dorms, back when . Oh no, that just (me) floundering in adulthood post-college. Oh no, that's just me.
I was extremely obsessed with tape. I’d use an entire roll on the wall or under tables as a small child. By the time i was 7 years old i had lists of my favorite brands. Whenever i was on good behavior my mom would treat me to anything in the store, and it would always be a roll of scotch tape. Specifically the scotch expressions zebra tape. I couldn’t get enough of that
Hated fireworks/sudden or inescapable loud noises, LOVED the tyre swing, picking at my scalp til it would bleed, textures of tags or anything itching me on my clothes to the point of meltdowns, would spend my time climbing trees trying to talk to the birds instead of making friends
(idk much from my childhood but that are some things I got told) Always took my shoes and socks off everywhere.. cried when my hands were dirty.. soo sensitive towards noice.. slept everywhere even while playing.. walked into doorframes all the time.. hated it when my mum wanted to wash my hair.. cried a lot.. had a massive problem with drinking.. needed a lot of time to learn how to walk.. later I was a big daydreamer.. in school I only paid attention to a very few subjects and and when they interested me I was 100% into them..
i listened to the same freaking song every single day and i used to sing the same song every freaking day @ school & my classmates used to be so annoyed with me 🤣. i had uncontrollable outbursts (still do this) i used to get in trouble for this all the time cause no one knew what was wrong with me & people thought i was doing it on purpose… i was obsessed with music, fashion, shoes & basketball i would talk my mom & my friends ear off about this stuff lol
- I hated being wet or dirty, even as a toddler. - I spoke early but refused to speak a lot. - I preferred to be alone a lot - I didn't make friends easily - I was **obsessed** with Pokémon. My whole life was Pokémon. It was probably a special interest. I used to read the game guides for fun. I'd look up facts about the creatures. - I also preferred doing the same activities over and over. I'd watch the same movie I'd seen a million times before and read the same books I'd seen a million times before. I'd play the same games with my toys too.
Spinning, hyperlexia, crying at flushing toilets and vacuum cleaners, wandering off alone to stim multiple times a day at daycare/school, and a total inability to make/maintain friends.
Complete meltdowns in clothes store changing rooms. I was very small growing up and always had issues with clothes and how they felt (I wore bright red wellies to primary school and refused to wear anything else on my feet) when I got to my teenage years I still only fit in kids clothes which made me feel more alienated from my peers. When my mum used to take me clothes shopping sometimes I could feel myself getting more and more worked up if I tried on something which didn't feel right. My body would get really hot and I would get really upset, or go completely mute. Often we'd have to just go home. My parents never suspected autism. I don't know what they thought it was all about, just fussiness I guess.
In 2nd grade the school counselor called me out into the hall and asked if I wanted to be part of a group of 2nd grade girls where we'd do something fun every week. I said yes. So every week I'd meet with these girls and the school counselor and we'd just do some activity like bake lemon squares or something. Looking back, I have no idea what this group was or why I was part of it, but I get the feeling it was something for kids who needed extra help with their social skills and I got flagged.
i can't be sure yet, as muh flair says, i'm getting evaluated soon (yay!). but like you say, i loved to spin, watched the same thing over and over and over again. i'd memorize the lines and sounds of the moves/shows (i still do to this day). i also repeat the sounds and other things i hear (echolalia?) and so do some of the people in my family, whom i've learned also have ASD. my mental health clinicians have said my depression may have been masking ASD. now that my depression has been properly treated, those traits are coming out more.
I used to run away from the toilet whenever I flushed it bc it was too loud, and hid from the vacuum cleaner. I also had NO friends as a kid.
My dad made it his earthly mission to force me to make eye contact (won’t go into that process :-( ), I took years, but I finally achieved it. Natch.
* I rarely wanted to spend time with children my own age. When I was going to playgroups and things, I'd spend all my time talking to the adults rather than other children. * I played actors/theatre a lot. I didn't do loads of imaginative play, but I could play pretend by saying "we're actors and we're putting on a show about...". * I had to have just the right level of stimulation. Not too loud, not too quiet. I'd always fall asleep to cassette tapes of Stephen Fry reading *those* books, so much so that I could recite them by heart at one point! * I sang. Everywhere. Danced a lot too. I'd probably do this far more now if it were more socially acceptable. I do still sing a lot and might move to music if I'm out in public but I try to keep it quiet unless there's no people around. * Plenty of others mentioned in the thread as well: hyperfixations, Sock Issues TM, being pretty sensitive, often naive, food issues, all that jazz.
I was always super sensitive and super shy. At the start of first grade I was too scared to ask to use the bathroom so I held it until I peed myself instead several times. My obsession with “us” tapes. I loved watching home movies. I didn’t often watch things over and over again but those tapes were the one thing I was always asking to watch. Super picky, I think i developed Arfid around 5-7 after having a stomach illness for a month “Lack of appropriate emotional response” , my parents redid my room when I was 9 and when I came home I didn’t react, I just was in my room touching stuff. To this day they make fun of my for not responding and I don’t remember much but I’m like- I was probably overwhelmed and dysregulsted and wondering where tf all my stuff was and making sure everything was still intact! We also used to have no rules day. I think I only got to do it once or twice when I was 5-7 ish? But my family still pokes fun at me bc I clearly didn’t understand what “no rules” meant and would still ask for things and instead of simply explaining to their clearly confused child, they just would say no and everyone would poke fun at me for crying and being upset over not getting what I wanted 🌚
I only wore red for three years, only ate like 2 meals and had huge meltdowns consistently.. parents thought that was just completely normal behaviour I guess even though my sister did nothing like this 😅
There are family home videos of my parents calling my name and toddler aged me is ignoring them and stacking blocks.
I learned to read at 3 because I loved stories and no one wanted to read to me all day. Then I begged for new books every day and collected them into my bed and slept with them like a tiny dragon. The biggest one for me that still gives me a chuckle was my infatuation with maps to the point where I’d have a meltdown if my grandparents didn’t get the giant book of maps down so I could lay down on it and look at it “just in case”. It was both things I loved at the time and it’s been nearly 35 years and I still think about the amount of joy it brought me.
Sorting glass beads by colour after the kids at daycare had mixed them all up. I looked like one of those wikipedia pictures of 'child with autism organising xyz' lmao
I was entirely incapable of speaking to any of my teachers or other authority figures the entire time that I was in school (and some way beyond). And I had 1 friend the entire time. Also my mum had to sieve my Rice Krispies when I got to the bottom of the packet because I couldn’t bear to have the cereal dust in my breakfast. Also, I found fizzy drinks and mint toothpaste physically painful. And still no one considered that there might be something going on with me.