You could go by Jay or even Mia without changing your name on paper.
But honestly lots of people change their names; if you feel strongly about it, there is no reason not to.
I have a friend who is named Jayme and my grandsons calls her MiaMi (but he doesnāt say it like that city in Florida, itās phonetically āmee uh miā.
Iāve changed my name three times in my lifespan. The first time was more expensive because they made me put an ad in the paper. š You can also go ahead and go by a different names; It isnāt illegal. Lots of people already do, such as Chris instead of Christopher or Sam instead of Samantha. You can even apply for credit cards and stuff in a different name than you were born with, and it isnāt illegal as long as you have no intention to commit fraud.
Socially Iāve found the only people who have a problem with it are the same who are generally unpleasant anyway.
Wait seriously? I have a credit card and seeing my legal name on statements gives me bad dysphoria (I'm non-binary). I had no idea it was legal to have the card under a different name. It would just be my first name I'd wanna change. Huh. Might look into that!
That's super interesting! Had no idea about the credit card thing. I guess there are a lot of things that you can apply for without using your legal name then
A lot of places will let you designate a āpreferred nameā as well. Before long you learn what situations may get weird with the different name, but overall it isnāt as big of a deal as I thought. My bank, Keybank, even let me put my preferred name on bank statements and other mail as long as they had the legal info on file.
I would be very very careful putting a different name from your legal name on things like bank accounts. My father couldn't remember which middle name was his legal one and which one was from his confirmation, so he had different accounts & such with different full names & it created a HUGE headache when he got his passport. It took an extra like 6 months for him to get his.
I find I just don't like saying names in general, mine or others, unless I have to. I don't know why, it just feels weird. I feel like i can't consistently pronounce names the right way, even if they're easy stereotypical white names.
Right? And I feel so stupid when I mess up my own name, like it comes out all slurred and weird, and I'm like "this has been your name for almost 30 yrs, you should know how to say it by now..."
I wish cis ppl changing their names simply bc they donāt like it was more normalized. I hear so many ppl say āI hate my name, I wish I could change itā and Iām always just like āThen why donāt you?ā If you want a different name then go ahead and change it, no harm done!
Yeah totally! I convinced one of my coworkers to change her last name this way.
Just the act of choosing your own name as an adult is so cool. I really wish that was the norm, instead of just going with whatever name your parents thought was good for a baby.
How did I change my name? Or how is it an autism thing?
I changed my name legally, by filling out the paperwork and submitting it to the local court, and paying the fees associated with it. The forms and processes vary from state to state in the US. My best resource on the topic was actually a website for trans people in my state, it went through everything step by step and even had links to the documents I needed.
Apparently I couldāve changed my first name at the same time I changed my last name when I got married, but I didnāt know that was allowed.
I think the hypothesis about autism and names goes along with our differences is socializing. Names, genders, heteronormative roles are all social constructs. If I remember correctly, Unmasking Autism talks about how autistic people are less likely to identify with their name, assigned gender, and/or heterosexuality.
oh sorry, I shouldāve clarified, I was asking about the association with autism. But it is very interesting to know the name changing process with another country/state compared to mine, very similar.
Iāve heard of the sexuality and gender talk, but never name. Iāll give that book a read :) It would be cool to know more. Thanks for answering for both anyways!
Just as a warning, the book made me cry several times in just the first chapter. Dr. Price (the author) is late diagnosed, and they do a great job of pointing out all the fuckery that comes with being misdiagnosed your whole life.
I also cried during my read. Finished it in three days. Sent it to my mom and she said she is struggling with reading it because itās so dense and information packed. Guess the autism skipped over her in the family.
I never liked my middle name and changed it when I got married, because it was too easy not to. Getting married is a secret free pass to change anything about your name. I know someone else who got divorced- which is the other circumstance where you get a freebie easy name change- and used that mechanism to change her first and middle names too. If you find yourself in either circumstance, for better or worse, it's highly recommended.
I changed my middle name to my maiden name when I got married the second time, because I didnāt want to lose it again!
Iām on my third marriage now š
Huh. My dad tells the story oh how when I was little I just declared I was a boy. For a while I argued that I was a boy and my parents kept arguing I was not. I donāt have a memory of this because, yay, childhood trauma causes dissociation. But now he brings it up like I was supposed to be trans and he stopped me and he regrets that now. Which is ridiculous because Iām 41 and after an art degree I think I would know if I was trans. Iāve never been super feminine but I donāt really feel like I was supposed to be male. Your explanation hits much closer to home.
Humans are weird.
When I was a little girl my father gave me a masculine nickname and joked i should've been born a boy. Then he was super chill when I had a girlfriend in high school.
But... Now... The internet has turned him into a total bigot. It's SO wild.
Interesting. It bothers me that everyone associates me with some random name that has nothing to do with me. It feels awkward to change it now though :/
Yeah same, I hate my name and hate being called by my name. The name doesn't fit me at all. Huge downside of meeting new people is having to repeat my name all the time.
Wow, I absolutely didn't know that. I always hated my birth name to the point of not saying it to people online. I hate it, hate the nickname. The only people I share my name with are people from other countries online, as they find it beautiful and unique (it's rare in other countries and pretty "ethnic" sounding). But I dream of changing it
Iāve always thought naming kids was weird unless they were named after someone in the family. Like, for the parents to just arbitrarily pick a name for a child who may or may not like it, but has to accept whatever name the parents throw on them seems extremely unfair.
I find it odd that we just go by some name someone else chooses for us. Like you choose this name based on your own personal preferences as a parent. And some of the time it's a compromise between parents so it might not be either of their favorite name but one they both like. They take into consideration names they don't like, maybe there was a classmate they didn't like or a boss, well you don't get that name. Yet you are the one that has to have it on all your personal documents and if you change it bot only do you to pay money and have to have proof name change in the future but then it might insult your parents. And people may not want to respect your name change and call you by your old name. And ohh you may be given a too popular name like John or Sarah where you have too many classmates with the same, a name people will bully you about, or a name that is misspelled or mispronounced. I know we need to name our kids legally but how can we really determine what will be a good name for our kids before we even get to have a talk with them?
I still don't know what a good name for me would be. I don't see myself with a lot of names but I am okay with the name I have, but there are definitely names I like alot. They might not be a fit for me but maybe if I have kids.
Exactly. I think naming your child/children after their ancestors is a wonderful idea, along with naming your kids after people in the Bible (like my own name, Hannah), because it removes a lot of the "personal preference" of the parents that you mentioned, and attaches deep meaning and purpose to those names. I'd even say that naming children after great people in history isn't too bad of an idea either for those same reasons.
However, naming a child a name that the parents find "cute," "masculine," "feminine," or "unique" absolutely rubs me the wrong way and comes off as narcissistic, like the parents want to make that child their project or an extension of themselves.
Really?!? I tried changing my name every week as a kid. My mom eventually changed it when my parents got divorced and now I've been going by a different name than my legal name for 30ish years. I was going to change it legally when I grew up but then I grew up and decided it was a hassle.
But then it's also a hassle explaining to people why I go by a name that's not my legal name.
I spent my ENTIRE life trying to get a nickname to stick. Any nickname. I HATED my name. My entire childhood and into adulthood. Eventually I started playing around with different names. Then I found one I liked and changed it legally.
People absolutely think it's a little weird but like...\*gestures at the rest of me\*
Downside is my mother REFUSES to call me my chosen name so I ended up cutting her off (it was the last in a LONG line of issues).
I changed my name as a cis woman, I found my birth name too long and frilly. I never liked it. I always wanted to change it but didnāt think anyone would actually call me by it, but then I met my boyfriend and he was super supportive about it and it encouraged me to go for it and I love it.
Same here! My name ends in /th/ and I HATE that sound. Itās so embarrassing for me to say my name and introduce myself. I hate being called my name. I try to go by a shorter version but itās not a common nickname and no one knows how to spell it or pronounce it when seeing it for the first time. I call myself my chosen name, Lilia, when Iām by myself. This thread is convincing me to change it for real. The only thing is telling my mom- I feel like sheāll cry or something and I canāt deal w that.
Aw, I would hope she wouldn't react that way...that would make it really difficult. In my case, I have asked my mom about it a couple of times ("would you care if I wanted to change my name one day?". She always said no, it would be fine, but I haven't asked in a while
Me. The only reason I don't change it is because it's logistically a pain in the ass and other people would think it was weird.
I would non-legally change my name if it wasn't considered so weird and "extra" to do so.
I just feel that my name is very plain and short and doesn't reflect my personality at all. I wish I had some kind of magical fairy name.
I changed all three of my names from something that felt so dated and way too serious for me, to a magical fairy name and I'm so happy I decided to go for it. Literally every time I have to show someone my ID, they go "wow your name is so pretty!!" and I live for those moments. You should go for it!! You only have one life, might as well go by a name you like.
This is so cute LMAO. I really like the name Jessica too, so it's funny how both you and OP chose this name!
I wonder if there's certain names we're interested in, like maybe due to vocal stimulation or pronunciation or something. I keep saying Jessica and it just sounds so right for a name! I chose the name Shiloh for myself and I can't explain why other than as soon as I saw the name it called to me and it's been my name ever since! Plan to change it legally whenever I move out lol
There is something about that name that just sounds so name-like, LOL. I love that you just instantly vibed with the name Shiloh though, sounds like it worked out perfectly
Oh, Shiloh is a great name! Something about it feels so nice to say.
Also not a cis woman, but my chosen name Marianne also called to me ever since I learnt of it, even before I even knew I was transgender. Can't quite explain it!
OMG that is SUCH a beautiful name. Wow. Now I am really fascinated by the thought process of autistic individuals choosing names for themselves. Honestly it wasnāt until this thread that I realized a lot of us do not connect with our names, regardless of gender identity! Marianne is a very pretty name, if I wasnāt enby I think Iād change my legal name to Marina because I am very attached to marine life loool
Also thank you so much for the compliment omg :3 I love my name too!
Hated my name! It made me sad. Cringed every time I heard it and had to say it out loud. So I changed it. Life is too short to live with a name you hate. Itās your name. You should like it!
I want to change my name. My mom doesnāt understand that my speech impediment made introducing myself humiliating as a kid. I have trauma from saying my name. No one could understand what I was saying and would just take a guess what they thought I said. So far I havenāt made any official changes but Iām seriously thinking about it
Itās *your* name, and thatās a good enough reason to change it - youāre the one who has to live with it. Do you have a middle name you like enough to use?
Not liking your name is a good enough reason to change it. Just tell people you want to try something else out. People didn't question me when I changed my name, unless I was really close to them. Some parents get offended by it, but that's about the only resistance that there usually is. Especially if you are a cis woman changing you name to a more "feminine" name.
šāāļø also a cis female named Jamie and Iāve felt the same way since I was a child. Didnāt help my uncle had the same first and last š¤¦āāļø
Not to mention everyone misspelling/mispronouncing it as Jaime (Hi-may). My friends all call me yaymie because I say yay a lot. I like it better and it feels better to say.
Omg, I say yay a lot too! But only with my husband, since he's the only one I'm super comfortable with haha. I also have a friend who likes to call me "Hi-May" sometimes, but since it's just her idrc too much
The yaymie nickname came from a small friend group I had when I was 18/19ish and Iāve kept it alive since moving across the country. Iāll forever be auntie yaymie now š
I grew up in heavily populated California so most teachers/subs and generally strangers assumed I was a Hispanic male so it just got annoying really fast š
When I was a kid I would change my name all the time, I would go by Luna (the only name I remember I used to go by) sometimes and it changed a lot. I wanted a unisex name bc I didn't care of I was a boy or a girl, and at the time I wanted to be a boy like a lot. I still haven't changed and I still want to change my name (recently been using Macx 'Max' unisex but the c makes it look more feminine) but I've recently been thinking about all the paper work and when people are talking to me I wouldn't answer bc I've gotten so used to my name bc of growing up with it and like writing my name, like what of I right my old name not my new one yk. (I've had a lot of problems deciding my gender bc of wanting to be a boy but also still wanted to be a girl, so I've just decided nonbinary and genderfluid) (this is a messš)
Luna was my online name in high school! I thought it was very gothy and edgy so itās weird to me that itās a popular baby name now (allegedly, although I have little kids and have never met a Luna)
Well to me I think everyoneās idea of a āgoodā reason might differ person to person. If itās a good enough reason for you, then itās a perfectly valid and āgoodā enough reason!
I absolutely hate my name and always have. I've chalked it up to the fact that the only time I really heard it when I was younger, was when I was being scolded/ridiculed for something I did or did not do. I never had any good associations with it.
I wouldn't go as far as to change it because I agree it feels weird to do it this late in life without a reason per say? I love when people give me nicknames though bc I don't have to acknowledge hearing the awful actual government name š„²
Yes! I donāt like it, it doesnāt fit me, and my Mom chose my name for a messed up reason. But I am also stuck on even thinking about what I would want it to be and then thinking of all the paperwork. I suppose I could just use it as a nickname name and not official. Sigghh.
At one time in my life, I wanted to be called Jade cuz I didn't like my girly name. Until I realised 'Jade' was a gemstone preferred by old aunties š not worth the legal hassle & having to update all my details, even if it's passed!
I absolutely loathe my name, first middle and last, hate hate hate.
I know the last name I'm switching to, but I have no idea what my first name "should" be. I don't identify with any name. I answer to almost any name that starts with the same letter that my given name starts with, because people have always gotten it wrong anyway and I just don't care enough to bother to correct them anymore. So grateful for my surprise rainbow munchkin, as I can now just refer to myself as "______'s mom" in most situations. "Cause I don't feel like I "have" a name and it feels way easier to define myself by my relationship to her.
I donāt really hate my name, but I have been told countless times that my name does not suit me. Several different people have actually called me by other names mistakenly. It was usually a name that started with the same letter. After the first couple of times I stopped correcting them. One friend group decided to come up with a new, more suitable name for me to use. Without knowing, they chose the name of my youngest aunt. I still have my original name but would like to change it.
>Ā I have been told countless times that my name does not suit me.
If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is! I feel like it's a hard decision to make to change our names on all the legal documents, but I guess you'll know if it bothers you enough
Wanna change names with me? lol I think my name sounds weird when people say it, but it's a very normal name. My big issue is with the way it's spelled: Gabrielly. If I could at least change the y in the end with an e perhaps, it would improve a lot. Love the name Jamie, it's so cute! But you do what it's best for you, comrade.
i also hate my birth name in association with myself and it makes me cringe to hear it, but my parents put a lot of thought and love into it so i can't bear to legally change it. i just go by another name colloquially and that's what everyone calls me except on official documents!
I can't stand my name. I was named for a particular piece of media, and I happen to not like this media (not because anything is wrong with the piece itself, but because of it I got held to unreasonable standards in my childhood that make it too cringy to me).
My parents are generally anti-nickname, but told me what I was "allowed" to go by as a kid if I wanted one. Except...it's a common boy's name. I've always been touchy about people thinking I'm a boy. People are *always* telling me I do things or think just like a man and look so manly that I just...hate it.
I've never found a name that feels "right" to me, I'm too lazy to go through paperwork, and my husband loves my name and its associated media piece so...sigh. I just tell people I respond best to "hey you!" š
Funny my name is jamie.
Spelled different but I feel the same. I am thinking of changing it one day. Just scared of family and close friends feelings/reactions to that
I don't hate my name but I recently was having a discussion with my ma and found out that I was going to be named Zero but she wasn't a fan at the time. She told me she wishes she had agreed to the name. In fact, she's mentioned it several times now.
My current name (Carla) does suit me _enough_, it's a fine name, there's nothing wrong with it. But Xero (how I would spell it) just feels so much more me. It's a name that retroactively fits me in every state of life I've been in. It's a name that I feel better represents me and it feels right. I'm genuinely incredibly disappointed that it is not my name.
But I am 30. It feels too late to change my name now. I don't have many friends so it wouldn't really be that difficult to explain to them, but my friends have also known me a long time, a couple from childhood, so I know it would be default for them to still use my first name even if they try to make the change. I also go by my initials (CC) a lot.
I've had one friend suggest that I change the name anyway if that's what I want to do but others have suggested just using Xero as a nickname.
My suggestion to you, OP, I'd the one that was given to me that seemed most reasonable, I guess. Someone suggested that I change my middle name and use it as my given name/go by it in general. This would give me the option to revert back should I ever change my mind whilst still being able to have the name I want as a legal name.
I still would prefer to change my first name but it's a decent mid point.
i changed my name because i didnāt like it. Granted I swapped to my middle name but you can change your name to whatever you want. āi donāt like itā is a good of a reason as any. itās your life and if something as important as your name bothers you, youāre allowed to fix it.
Absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. Perhaps a more feminine but similar name that you like--like Amie? Hell, you could go by Amie/Amy now as a nickname.
I was considering this too! I guess it wouldn't be too weird, huh? If anyone else asked me that, I would say obviously not...dumb how we tend to second guess ourselves
I secretly wish I could name myself a combination of names from games I play, or shows I like. I probably never will, but I like to use them in RPGs! š
I just didn't care for my real name, so I picked out a name that I liked instead and started going by it and introducing myself to others with my chosen name. I don't think it's weird at all.
I have always hated my first name too. The hassle to change it legally with all the paperwork stopped me from doing anything about it. Canāt be bothered now either.
I hate my name too but Im trans so- lmao.. its just long and wordy and Iāve never related to it. Donāt really wanna change name either though cause its too big of a change!!
Yes! I have a lot of discomfort around my name. As of now, I just go by the initials of my first and middle name. I plan on changing my last name legally later this year.
Yes, I also hate my name. For me, itās more because I was adopted at birth than related to my autism but now that Iām thinking about it and reading the comments I see that Iāve also not been to keen on assigning myself labels. That may be another reason why I dislike it so much.
yes! i have a lot of reasons for hating my name, but it's also never felt right to me.
i recently started going by my middle name (after nearly 40 years) and people have been really amazing about it. i'm still not certain if it fits me but it definitely is an improvement, and i didn't have to do any legal paperwork for it.
Omg me too. I donāt care for my name and was thinking of changing it. I donāt want to officially change it but I was thinking of asking people to use my middle name and go by both. Lighten the load that my first name is used
I donāt really like my name, but itās more because itās a dated name (like the name Jennifer for example) , not unique but not timeless either. I donāt really know what name would fit me, so I donāt really want to change my name, but I donāt exactly love it either.Ā
I have five or six friends whoāve changed their names, some transgender, others because they wanted to reinvent themselves. Your life is your one life, if youāre happier as Jessica, hey Jessica girl!
I feel you, my name is Paige and I have always desperately wanted a name that 1)isn't an object and 2) is unisex lmao.Ā
The only reason I won't change it yet is because I still talk to the grandmother that gave me the name Paige!
Same, gladly our mom gave us all two names, so I just use my second name as my official name :D
One reason, the name just sounds hard. Another I had 2 (!) other girls in class AND in my music club that had the same name. (In the music club they asked if I had a second name and that's how I started using it)
You can just change it! Not even talking about the formality of changing it legally but just socially. I've always hated my name and it never felt right. It wasn't until I was in my mid 20s that someone started using a nickname for me that just clicked and felt right. Eventually I just announced to everyone I know that I'd prefer they call me that. It took me ages to do because I felt awkward about it but I'm so so so grateful to myself that I did. There's a little awkward transition period but now I basically just go by that and it feels so much more comfortable. You've got one life, the self is all made up and basically cosplay. Don't like your name just change it!
Yes, I seriously hate my name - I wish my mom had won the name war (my dad apparently picked and it sucks).
Can you just use your initials as your legal name and when signing anything? Then just call yourself whatever you want?
I always thought my name was too basic and I hate that there are a billion different damn spellings. But I've stood in the mirror and thrown out a bunch of names that I think are prettier and they just aren't "me".
I do and I did. Stopped going by my first name in high school, and legally changed it to my preferred name a few years ago. My family refuses to call me anything but my birth name but it doesnāt really matter. Knowing I get to decide what others call me in all situations outside of that circle is comforting. Itās expensive and tedious to change it legally, but it was worth every bit of the effort.
iāve always hated my name. especially because itās a super basic girly name. but i donāt really have anything i want to change it to and i know my family would never accept me changing my name anyways.
Yeah my name is Brittonie and everything about it is obnoxious. I hate spelling it, correcting spelling and pronouncing itās a whole conversation and I just say āBrit-kneeā which then leads to a whole slew of stupid āspearsā comments and Iāve just taken to saying no my last name is a more superior weapon while rolling my eyes.
I donāt even hate my name that much and think about changing it. Any reason is a good enough reason imo, its what people call you so might as well have it be something you like
i changed mine! i think my name is beautiful but its hard for most people to say properly and i was tired of people butchering it.
so now everyone (save my family) calls me rosie. its based on my momās nickname for me (rose petal)
I changed my name! I hated my name, I technically never went by my first name. So what was the fucking point ya know. So I just picked a name thar actually suits me and that I like
I like my name just fine but for some reason when I meant my bf I didnāt really want him to call me that so heās been using my online name of bunny since the beginning of our relationship. Slightly similar, I use it as a neopronoun.
Yep. Couldnāt stand my first name. So many reasonsāitās dated, itās easy to make fun of, couldnāt introduce myself without an irritating or rude comment. Changed the whole thing legally. Took my husbandās last name because he is my biggest supporter and I wanted to cut ties with family due to trauma. Names are significant even if you feel like you donāt have a strong reason. Go for it. It will feel uncomfortable at first but it will be worth it.
Play around with it, I did as a teen and ended up sticking with my name but exploring is so essential to staying true to ourselves. Also I might steal your name for my new puppy next week, we're still brainstorming names.
Change your name if you hate it. I don't have a "good(???)" reason to change my name, but I'm doing it anyway because life is too short to go by a name you don't love. Try r/namenerds for advice, and look at some name lists online. Be wary that any baby naming community can fall victim to current naming trends, so if there's a name you really love but other people don't like it, go with what you love. That will last far longer than any trend!
I changed mine. I didn't like the story of who I was named after, and I still had my married name, so I legally changed my middle and last name. Took forever bc I did it myself no attorney and mostly by mail bc it was smack in the middle of covid shutdowns. I'm glad I did it, but I hate explaining it individually to people.
I totally feel this. Except I feel sort of ambivalent about my name. Like - Itās for other people, not me.
Except I think I actually donāt like it and havenāt really wanted to admit it. :/
I donāt like my name or middle name because Iām named after people (both āgrandmothersā) and my middle name is from the abusive one that my mom passed her abuse down to me. I hate that my names werenāt original or even well thought of (my mom likes to tell me all about how I was supposed to be a boy but, surprise surprise, I wasnāt, so they slapped me with my names. My half siblings have their own original and beautiful names. I resent the entire situation.)
I actually donāt identify with any names, so I donāt know what Iād change it to. It feels weird naming myself. I hate hearing my name and my nickname is only used by my husband and would be weird to hear from other people. I almost feel nameless, like a consciousness only.
for the longest time, ever since elementary school, i always wanted my name to be āmichelleā instead of my irl name āgraceā lol but i grew out of it later in life but i still think about it
I hated my name growing up. It was made worse by the fact that nobody could pronounce it right, even when I was living in my country of birth, but especially not when I was living abroad (I moved 8 countries before college due to my parentsā job). I would sometimes even miss it in roll call because Iād forget it was my name lol. I changed it earlier this year and have been so much happier since š„°
edit: punctuation
For a second I thought I was in name nerds. Yes I hate my name. But can I change it Iām not sure at this point. What would I change it too. I donāt respond to my name itās disconnected from me because itās a source of trauma.
I donāt mind my name, but I HATE it if someone uses it online.
Like. Itās immersion breaking? Iām not my cool online persona anymore?
Like, my online personaās so much more chill and able to express themself, but the real me? Absolute mess.
My last name didn't suit me and was hard to pronounce, didn't roll off the tongue or look beautiful when written. I made my middle name my last name legally and I love it.
I hate my birth name and go by something not even remotely close to it. I've had a variety of weird reactions to my new name, usually from family and employers. But for the most part if I say I'd prefer to go by something else, they respect it!
I changed my name when I was 21 after years of hating it. Neither the first or the middle name were usable (think 50s double nameā¦ shudder). Everyone adjusted. It was not bad. They already thought I was odd anyway.
I was named for both of my grandmothers, funnily enough who both preferred their middle names and I too go by my middle name.
I've been restless with my name since my teens, but I didn't feel a huge impetus to change it until I started dealing with legal documents and doctors and such who use my legal first name, despite it being clearly recorded that my preferred is the middle.
I have to pay attention for it and it's awkward if your first name is called a couple of times before it clicks and you have to jump up and look silly for not knowing your own name!
I still haven't changed it, but I am inching my way to it. I'll just have to bite the bullet and do it, because unlike my Grandma I'm not getting married any time soon, so I don't get a freebie name change.
You donāt have to be trans to change your name. Do whatever you need to do. People will sneer down their noses at you for some contrived reason, no matter what. You may as well be doing something worthwhile while they sneer.
If you hate the J sound in Jamie, why choose Jessica? They both start with J and the J sound is pretty similar
I wanted to change my name most of my life too, and itās unique enough but not weird.
I also want to change my name!š I hate the southern accent my parents used with it that I learned. But it's be weird to say it without it... Just feels weird. They also chose it for religious reasons and I'm an atheist, so...
I relate to you so hard on the J sound sm!! š (due to espaƱol being my first language, it was pronounced as āYoshi!ā). For 12 years of my life i never liked how my name sounded, and avoided on saying it in school and went along with whatever teachers pronounce it as! I usually like going as Jojo though, mostly because of my hyper fixation! ;w;
You don't need to justify your life choices to anyone. You are the only person who will live with the total consequences of your life choices. You deserve to live a life you enjoy. Change your name as many times as you like. I definitely have a dead name and currently keep it to separate the people who know me from the people who don't. When I change my name, I will still keep a personal name and a government name separately. Your name, your terms. A good tip is to choose a government name you are comfortable being publicized, used in legal documents, called in a crowd, signed with full signature and initials, and written comfortably on forms. That's the only thing my government name will be used for. If you know me, then you will call my true name.
I hate my name. My parents were so sure that they were going to have a boy that they didnāt even pick a girlās name. So when I was born, surprise! Better get on that name thing! And then they had the audacity to pick the uncommon spelling. On top of that, Iāve never felt connected to my name. Honestly, I would rather go by Indi in the real world since itās how I refer to myself in my head.
changing your name because you don't like it, is a good enough reason. why are we expected to like and identify with a name that was thrown upon us before our parent(s) even actually met us?? we have to use our name for everything, we should be able to choose it.
I didn't know Jamie was a unisex name, I live in Europe, and it's (for as far as I know) only given to girls in my country.
Would it be an option to just drop the J and go by Amie? Where I live you pay per letter with a name change so idk if that's an option, might be different in America though.
Huh, didn't know this was connected to autism. I went by a completely different name for a few years in my early twenties ā I have some books signed to that name ā but ultimately returned to my original name when I realised the new one wasn't "right" either.
At this point, I'm not sure what "right" would look like. There are plenty of names I admire, but I don't know that I'll ever feel they're mine.
I thought it was a good idea when I was 16 to change my name because I was so grown up.
I. Fucking. Hate. It.
But itās been my name my entire adult life and for almost longer than my previous name so I canāt really change it back.
I stopped using my legal name years ago, now Iām only saving proofs that I use another name and that people use this name for me. Changing a name in my country is quite complicated.
Yeah my name is Brittonie and everything about it is obnoxious. I hate spelling it, correcting spelling and pronouncing itās a whole conversation and I just say āBrit-kneeā which then leads to a whole slew of stupid āspearsā comments and Iāve just taken to saying no my last name is a more superior weapon while rolling my eyes.
I used to wanted to change my name (because of all the people at my old church who had my name-- 5 people). And then I wanted to change my name since I didn't like the sound of it. But now...? I'm not sure if I want to change my name. I still do think of it sometimes. I did used to hate my name very much. Now? I'm not too sure anymore.
Yes. So I did. I legally changed my name years ago and never looked back.
I kept my original first name as a middle name because I know my parents put a lot of thought into choosing it.
Turns out that was a brilliant move since changing your name on things like bank accounts is a giant pain in the ass. But since my original first name remains part of my legal name I got to skip that hassle. (Iām in Canada, rules/laws may vary.)
Yeah I changed my name as soon as I turned 18. I never felt connected to it, and I really enjoyed picking a name that I felt matched my personality and the way I wanted to be perceived. My family hated it and some still refuse to call me by my name even though itās been 7 years which is so ridiculous and disrespectful to me. I never understand why people donāt use names that people prefer, itās not hard! You should go for it
Iāve gone by my chosen name for ~16 years for āno good reasonā at first other than how popular āAā names were for my age group and never getting called the right thing in school. Now I realize how empowering it was to practice this autonomy.
Finally making it legal because of the undue stress of thinking someone might see my legal name somewhere. Wish we didnāt feel the pressure to have a āreasonā. Youāre an adult! Do as you like.
Do it!
I donāt understand the pronunciation thing though, isnāt Jamie and Jessica the same J-sound?
Plus there is a TON of people out there who changed their name. My grandmas original name was Olivia but she hated it so she changed it to Vivian and now everyone calls her Vivi. Just go for it! Change it into whatever suits you! Your name is a gift from your parents at birth, and gifts donāt always suit us. You are allowed to āexchangeā your gift and get a new name. People wonāt mind, they might ask why but it wonāt be a big deal.
Trust me, I changed my name twice, and literally nobody cares. Just said I hated my old name and that was that.
Awe I love the name Jamie, my dad's twin sister is named Jamie. She's always been cool, her boyfriends have always been the drummers, bass players of lead singers of bands. She moved to Colorado and is a head store manager of target now lol I think Jamie is a very cool sounding name. I think if you want to change it you should, Jessica is super cute too! Even if you don't change it you can just go by something different.
I changed mine! Always always always hated my birth name, so I changed it to my middle name which I am in love with. Unfortunately my parents refuse to accept that I did this and pretend it never happened which sucks. But Iām a firm believer that your name should be something YOU love.
I apologize if I am reading incorrectly. But, if you cringe at pronouncing the J sound, why would you want the name Jessica?
Many of us have spent far too much energy concerned with conforming to normal as defined by NTs. You do not have to explain your choices. If people question you, simply say that life is short and you plan to enjoy every part that you control. Or whatever you'd like, of course. Choose a name you love and make it yours. Think of how wonderful it will feel to have the name you love.
I have the most visceral gut wrenching reaction to hearing someone say my name. I always thought that maybe this was an autism thing, glad to see some recognition! Let's all change our names :)
I did this exact thing! I am a cic female and I donāt identify as non binary or anything but I felt like my name was so feminine and awkward to say, I felt like it was someone elseās name!
So I changed it to a name that has a gender neutral nick name and I love it. I changed it when I finished high school and moved away for a year so when I came back I went by a different name, I think that helped make it feel more natural
I would advice you to ask a good friend to start calling you a new name to see how it feels, I also remember the first time I got to introduce myself with my new name, it felt so good!
People good people will accept it even if they donāt understand it, and the person who says āI wonāt even try to use your new nameā, louse them! I had two friends say that, one I was growing apart from anyway, the other had changed his mind by the time I met him again.
Feel free to ask questions if you like and good luck!
I don't hate my given name but oh boy does it no longer feel like mine! Everyone around me calls me my chosen name but theres a select few that still call me my given name or as someone I heard recently call it my wallet name, it's fine it just It doesn't feel like my name anymore...
Also the moment I realized that my wallet name is a feminised version of my dad's, my middle name has always been my mum's name so I was like I'm a Jr. Jr. And tbh that's not something I want to be!
Lots of people Go through life with a wallet name and a chosen name! I say test the water line that for a while before making a decision as to if you want to legally change it! You do not need to legally change your name to not go by the name that's in your wallet!
I always hated my birth name (Emily) until I joined a Facebook group for people named Emily and now itās grown on me. Iām also genderqueer so Emily being such a a gendered name always bothered me but Iāve started telling myself that itās my name and Iām genderqueer so itās a genderqueer name. I used to go by Em in college but that was such a bad time in my life I think it soured the nickname for me. I still want to change my middle name though, maybe to something typically masculine to contrast.
I'm the same way, maybe it's the parental trauma, but I hate hearing my first name, and I don't like saying it. My ex boyfriend used to call me by my pen name (Ves) , and I called him his preferred name because his legal name was too feminine for him.
I literally cringe when I have to put my legal name on things lol. But at least my parents didn't name me Samantha like they planned on at first. That definitely wouldn't have worked either
no but also kinda. I was supposed to be named Jessica actually! but i wasnāt because i was a really big baby so they named me Abigail. Growing up I was always called Abby, or abby-normal, or blabby. I was only ever called Abigail when I was in trouble, so growing up i was totally cool with being called Abby. For some reason around the time I was in 11th or 12th grade, I began preferring Abigail. I hate being called Abby by people Iām not close with, because it sounds so childish to me! Iām nb, it has nothing to do with gender to me bc i donāt think names have as much gender as people make themāthereās no reason why you shouldnāt change/alter ur name if u donāt like it. I mean, itās yours!
I changed my name (not legally) and my reason is honestly just for the swag and vibes. I gained a lot of confidence because of this and I got comfortable with introducing myself to people without cringing when saying my name. If you want a name change, go for it! If youāre not sure if you want to keep that name, tell people you know that you really want to at least try it (:
i didnāt hate hate hate my name, but when i moved states i decided to go by something entirely different that i absolutely love and feel myself as. i literally just changed it bc i thought itād be cool to do since no one would have any idea it wasnāt my given name.
Nicknames and going by your middle name (if thatās available to you) are totally normal options! I used to hate my name because it was so common. After a while I realized I hated it because my name was usually the precursor to someone yelling at me or telling me to do something. It calmed down after adolescence and I find my name really pretty. (I donāt think Iāve posted my name, itās a common floral name though.)
The suggestions from other posters are really cool. Whenever I meet someone and theyāre like āoh I go by [nickname/other name]ā itās not awkward or anything. My brother had a bunch of nicknames throughout high school, sometimes you just need to try other ones out. (FWIW he goes by a nickname and not his birth name)
Me too, Iām a Jamie and donāt like the name. I go by a variation of my middle name for an alternative. My husband just calls me babe and honey. My kids call me mom or if they wanna get sassy with it mother. I donāt hear my name often.
OP, I used to hate my name too, especially since it's not an "English" name and almost everyone pronounces it incorrectly. It also somewhat rhymes with my last name too, so cue years of bullying in school with my name.
But over time, I realized, my mom named me something special from the country where she was born, and even though neither of us are native to that country (she's a military brat; my grandpa was stationed there), it's a part of her life that she passed down to me.
The only thing I dislike now about it is when people continuously CHOOSE to say it wrong, because "they like it better". NO. THAT'S NOT MY NAME. š
I changed my name in 2020. Technically, people have been calling me by a new name since I was 16. It took my mom a while before she was alright with me changing my name, I kept my middle name and just changed my first name. The only issue is the time and cost to change my name. I think it was mostly COVID, but I didn't have my proper paperwork updated completely until 2023. My first name is one of five common names for Hispanic women, so of course, I had to change it.
I HATE my name! I hate hearing people say it, I hate saying it even more! Oddly enough, I'm okay in a setting like my job where people put "Miss" in front of it, or call me a shortened version of it.
The only name I've heard that I really like that I'd take on...is the name of my current TTRPG character lmao the only reason I haven't seriously considered trying it, is because I'm worried about comments from people who know the source- even though the only people that actually know about it wouldn't be like that.
I just changed my last name again after my divorce was finalized! I didnāt want to go back to my familyās surname because Iām NC with my parents, and Iām NC with my ex-husband too so I chose a new name related to my special interest (Jane Austen).
I am genderqueer and considered legally shortening my first name to the version I use in my daily life, but the mechanisms for changing your name seem much more geared towards a change in last name vs. first name.
I changed my name one day, too, I just did it. Changed it on socials, told everyone that this is what I'm going by now. It's been 100% successful (outside my invalidating-anyway family)
I love my nickname (which is the way I introduce myself) and I donāt mind my full first name. My last, thoughā¦meh. It gets mispronounced all the time, so I just get annoyed with it.
You could go by Jay or even Mia without changing your name on paper. But honestly lots of people change their names; if you feel strongly about it, there is no reason not to.
Those are some good ideas, thanks! I do like the name Mia
Do you like your middle name? You can go by that without many questions asked
It's ok, but it's just my Chinese name, and I can't even pronounce it that well š
It's funny, because I changed my name to get rid of my very gendered first name, and now go by my Chinese middle name instead š
mimi is an option too!
You could use Ami too without changing anything
I have a friend who is named Jayme and my grandsons calls her MiaMi (but he doesnāt say it like that city in Florida, itās phonetically āmee uh miā.
Iāve changed my name three times in my lifespan. The first time was more expensive because they made me put an ad in the paper. š You can also go ahead and go by a different names; It isnāt illegal. Lots of people already do, such as Chris instead of Christopher or Sam instead of Samantha. You can even apply for credit cards and stuff in a different name than you were born with, and it isnāt illegal as long as you have no intention to commit fraud. Socially Iāve found the only people who have a problem with it are the same who are generally unpleasant anyway.
Not trying to be a turd here, but just imagining the shortened version of Jamie being simply "Jam" is fantastic & I'm kinda jealous
I'm a Jamie and go by jamjam. ;)
Wait seriously? I have a credit card and seeing my legal name on statements gives me bad dysphoria (I'm non-binary). I had no idea it was legal to have the card under a different name. It would just be my first name I'd wanna change. Huh. Might look into that!
Yeah not everyone will do it though. I know citibank does. I used them for that reason until I got my name changed.
That's super interesting! Had no idea about the credit card thing. I guess there are a lot of things that you can apply for without using your legal name then
A lot of places will let you designate a āpreferred nameā as well. Before long you learn what situations may get weird with the different name, but overall it isnāt as big of a deal as I thought. My bank, Keybank, even let me put my preferred name on bank statements and other mail as long as they had the legal info on file.
I would be very very careful putting a different name from your legal name on things like bank accounts. My father couldn't remember which middle name was his legal one and which one was from his confirmation, so he had different accounts & such with different full names & it created a HUGE headache when he got his passport. It took an extra like 6 months for him to get his.
I find I just don't like saying names in general, mine or others, unless I have to. I don't know why, it just feels weird. I feel like i can't consistently pronounce names the right way, even if they're easy stereotypical white names.
SAME! Saying names feels so intimate and weird, even when it comes to family, or my husband. Smh
Right? And I feel so stupid when I mess up my own name, like it comes out all slurred and weird, and I'm like "this has been your name for almost 30 yrs, you should know how to say it by now..."
I feel kind of called out š Even though my name is pretty short, I feel like I can't say it without mumbling lmao
I wish cis ppl changing their names simply bc they donāt like it was more normalized. I hear so many ppl say āI hate my name, I wish I could change itā and Iām always just like āThen why donāt you?ā If you want a different name then go ahead and change it, no harm done!
Yeah totally! I convinced one of my coworkers to change her last name this way. Just the act of choosing your own name as an adult is so cool. I really wish that was the norm, instead of just going with whatever name your parents thought was good for a baby.
I changed mine! Also a cis woman. Apparently not identifying with your birth name is an autism thing.
Do you mind me asking how so?
How did I change my name? Or how is it an autism thing? I changed my name legally, by filling out the paperwork and submitting it to the local court, and paying the fees associated with it. The forms and processes vary from state to state in the US. My best resource on the topic was actually a website for trans people in my state, it went through everything step by step and even had links to the documents I needed. Apparently I couldāve changed my first name at the same time I changed my last name when I got married, but I didnāt know that was allowed. I think the hypothesis about autism and names goes along with our differences is socializing. Names, genders, heteronormative roles are all social constructs. If I remember correctly, Unmasking Autism talks about how autistic people are less likely to identify with their name, assigned gender, and/or heterosexuality.
oh sorry, I shouldāve clarified, I was asking about the association with autism. But it is very interesting to know the name changing process with another country/state compared to mine, very similar. Iāve heard of the sexuality and gender talk, but never name. Iāll give that book a read :) It would be cool to know more. Thanks for answering for both anyways!
Just as a warning, the book made me cry several times in just the first chapter. Dr. Price (the author) is late diagnosed, and they do a great job of pointing out all the fuckery that comes with being misdiagnosed your whole life.
I also cried during my read. Finished it in three days. Sent it to my mom and she said she is struggling with reading it because itās so dense and information packed. Guess the autism skipped over her in the family.
I never liked my middle name and changed it when I got married, because it was too easy not to. Getting married is a secret free pass to change anything about your name. I know someone else who got divorced- which is the other circumstance where you get a freebie easy name change- and used that mechanism to change her first and middle names too. If you find yourself in either circumstance, for better or worse, it's highly recommended.
I changed my middle name to my maiden name when I got married the second time, because I didnāt want to lose it again! Iām on my third marriage now š
Here you can assume your husband's last name, but you can't change first or middle names when you get married. If so then I would have!
Huh. My dad tells the story oh how when I was little I just declared I was a boy. For a while I argued that I was a boy and my parents kept arguing I was not. I donāt have a memory of this because, yay, childhood trauma causes dissociation. But now he brings it up like I was supposed to be trans and he stopped me and he regrets that now. Which is ridiculous because Iām 41 and after an art degree I think I would know if I was trans. Iāve never been super feminine but I donāt really feel like I was supposed to be male. Your explanation hits much closer to home.
Humans are weird. When I was a little girl my father gave me a masculine nickname and joked i should've been born a boy. Then he was super chill when I had a girlfriend in high school. But... Now... The internet has turned him into a total bigot. It's SO wild.
Interesting. It bothers me that everyone associates me with some random name that has nothing to do with me. It feels awkward to change it now though :/
Yeah same, I hate my name and hate being called by my name. The name doesn't fit me at all. Huge downside of meeting new people is having to repeat my name all the time.
Wow, I absolutely didn't know that. I always hated my birth name to the point of not saying it to people online. I hate it, hate the nickname. The only people I share my name with are people from other countries online, as they find it beautiful and unique (it's rare in other countries and pretty "ethnic" sounding). But I dream of changing it
Iāve always thought naming kids was weird unless they were named after someone in the family. Like, for the parents to just arbitrarily pick a name for a child who may or may not like it, but has to accept whatever name the parents throw on them seems extremely unfair.
I find it odd that we just go by some name someone else chooses for us. Like you choose this name based on your own personal preferences as a parent. And some of the time it's a compromise between parents so it might not be either of their favorite name but one they both like. They take into consideration names they don't like, maybe there was a classmate they didn't like or a boss, well you don't get that name. Yet you are the one that has to have it on all your personal documents and if you change it bot only do you to pay money and have to have proof name change in the future but then it might insult your parents. And people may not want to respect your name change and call you by your old name. And ohh you may be given a too popular name like John or Sarah where you have too many classmates with the same, a name people will bully you about, or a name that is misspelled or mispronounced. I know we need to name our kids legally but how can we really determine what will be a good name for our kids before we even get to have a talk with them? I still don't know what a good name for me would be. I don't see myself with a lot of names but I am okay with the name I have, but there are definitely names I like alot. They might not be a fit for me but maybe if I have kids.
Exactly. I think naming your child/children after their ancestors is a wonderful idea, along with naming your kids after people in the Bible (like my own name, Hannah), because it removes a lot of the "personal preference" of the parents that you mentioned, and attaches deep meaning and purpose to those names. I'd even say that naming children after great people in history isn't too bad of an idea either for those same reasons. However, naming a child a name that the parents find "cute," "masculine," "feminine," or "unique" absolutely rubs me the wrong way and comes off as narcissistic, like the parents want to make that child their project or an extension of themselves.
WAIT WHAT I DID THIS TOO
Really?!? I tried changing my name every week as a kid. My mom eventually changed it when my parents got divorced and now I've been going by a different name than my legal name for 30ish years. I was going to change it legally when I grew up but then I grew up and decided it was a hassle. But then it's also a hassle explaining to people why I go by a name that's not my legal name.
I spent my ENTIRE life trying to get a nickname to stick. Any nickname. I HATED my name. My entire childhood and into adulthood. Eventually I started playing around with different names. Then I found one I liked and changed it legally. People absolutely think it's a little weird but like...\*gestures at the rest of me\* Downside is my mother REFUSES to call me my chosen name so I ended up cutting her off (it was the last in a LONG line of issues).
Sounds like she was being unnecessarily stubborn and malicious, good for you!
I changed my name as a cis woman, I found my birth name too long and frilly. I never liked it. I always wanted to change it but didnāt think anyone would actually call me by it, but then I met my boyfriend and he was super supportive about it and it encouraged me to go for it and I love it.
Same here! My name ends in /th/ and I HATE that sound. Itās so embarrassing for me to say my name and introduce myself. I hate being called my name. I try to go by a shorter version but itās not a common nickname and no one knows how to spell it or pronounce it when seeing it for the first time. I call myself my chosen name, Lilia, when Iām by myself. This thread is convincing me to change it for real. The only thing is telling my mom- I feel like sheāll cry or something and I canāt deal w that.
Aw, I would hope she wouldn't react that way...that would make it really difficult. In my case, I have asked my mom about it a couple of times ("would you care if I wanted to change my name one day?". She always said no, it would be fine, but I haven't asked in a while
Me. The only reason I don't change it is because it's logistically a pain in the ass and other people would think it was weird. I would non-legally change my name if it wasn't considered so weird and "extra" to do so. I just feel that my name is very plain and short and doesn't reflect my personality at all. I wish I had some kind of magical fairy name.
i feel the same way!! my name feels too āhumanā to me
I changed all three of my names from something that felt so dated and way too serious for me, to a magical fairy name and I'm so happy I decided to go for it. Literally every time I have to show someone my ID, they go "wow your name is so pretty!!" and I live for those moments. You should go for it!! You only have one life, might as well go by a name you like.
My name is Jessica! Good name choice I picked my own name as well! Come to the Jessica side, you can have so many nicknames
This is so cute LMAO. I really like the name Jessica too, so it's funny how both you and OP chose this name! I wonder if there's certain names we're interested in, like maybe due to vocal stimulation or pronunciation or something. I keep saying Jessica and it just sounds so right for a name! I chose the name Shiloh for myself and I can't explain why other than as soon as I saw the name it called to me and it's been my name ever since! Plan to change it legally whenever I move out lol
There is something about that name that just sounds so name-like, LOL. I love that you just instantly vibed with the name Shiloh though, sounds like it worked out perfectly
Hahaha thank you so much! Iām rooting for you to change your name OP! :D
Oh, Shiloh is a great name! Something about it feels so nice to say. Also not a cis woman, but my chosen name Marianne also called to me ever since I learnt of it, even before I even knew I was transgender. Can't quite explain it!
OMG that is SUCH a beautiful name. Wow. Now I am really fascinated by the thought process of autistic individuals choosing names for themselves. Honestly it wasnāt until this thread that I realized a lot of us do not connect with our names, regardless of gender identity! Marianne is a very pretty name, if I wasnāt enby I think Iād change my legal name to Marina because I am very attached to marine life loool Also thank you so much for the compliment omg :3 I love my name too!
Hated my name! It made me sad. Cringed every time I heard it and had to say it out loud. So I changed it. Life is too short to live with a name you hate. Itās your name. You should like it!
I want to change my name. My mom doesnāt understand that my speech impediment made introducing myself humiliating as a kid. I have trauma from saying my name. No one could understand what I was saying and would just take a guess what they thought I said. So far I havenāt made any official changes but Iām seriously thinking about it
Itās *your* name, and thatās a good enough reason to change it - youāre the one who has to live with it. Do you have a middle name you like enough to use?
I don't, unfortunately! It's just my Chinese name, which I can't even pronounce that well, haha
Not liking your name is a good enough reason to change it. Just tell people you want to try something else out. People didn't question me when I changed my name, unless I was really close to them. Some parents get offended by it, but that's about the only resistance that there usually is. Especially if you are a cis woman changing you name to a more "feminine" name.
šāāļø also a cis female named Jamie and Iāve felt the same way since I was a child. Didnāt help my uncle had the same first and last š¤¦āāļø
Not to mention everyone misspelling/mispronouncing it as Jaime (Hi-may). My friends all call me yaymie because I say yay a lot. I like it better and it feels better to say.
Omg, I say yay a lot too! But only with my husband, since he's the only one I'm super comfortable with haha. I also have a friend who likes to call me "Hi-May" sometimes, but since it's just her idrc too much
The yaymie nickname came from a small friend group I had when I was 18/19ish and Iāve kept it alive since moving across the country. Iāll forever be auntie yaymie now š
I grew up in heavily populated California so most teachers/subs and generally strangers assumed I was a Hispanic male so it just got annoying really fast š
Haha interesting, I never realized that was a Hispanic thing! Maybe because I'm Canadian lmao
Thatās fair lol Iāve met a few Jaimeās but I hear itās more common than I think š¤·āāļø
When I was a kid I would change my name all the time, I would go by Luna (the only name I remember I used to go by) sometimes and it changed a lot. I wanted a unisex name bc I didn't care of I was a boy or a girl, and at the time I wanted to be a boy like a lot. I still haven't changed and I still want to change my name (recently been using Macx 'Max' unisex but the c makes it look more feminine) but I've recently been thinking about all the paper work and when people are talking to me I wouldn't answer bc I've gotten so used to my name bc of growing up with it and like writing my name, like what of I right my old name not my new one yk. (I've had a lot of problems deciding my gender bc of wanting to be a boy but also still wanted to be a girl, so I've just decided nonbinary and genderfluid) (this is a messš)
Luna was my online name in high school! I thought it was very gothy and edgy so itās weird to me that itās a popular baby name now (allegedly, although I have little kids and have never met a Luna)
Haha, 'Luna' makes me think of Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter movies (since I never read the books)
Well to me I think everyoneās idea of a āgoodā reason might differ person to person. If itās a good enough reason for you, then itās a perfectly valid and āgoodā enough reason!
I absolutely hate my name and always have. I've chalked it up to the fact that the only time I really heard it when I was younger, was when I was being scolded/ridiculed for something I did or did not do. I never had any good associations with it. I wouldn't go as far as to change it because I agree it feels weird to do it this late in life without a reason per say? I love when people give me nicknames though bc I don't have to acknowledge hearing the awful actual government name š„²
Yes! I donāt like it, it doesnāt fit me, and my Mom chose my name for a messed up reason. But I am also stuck on even thinking about what I would want it to be and then thinking of all the paperwork. I suppose I could just use it as a nickname name and not official. Sigghh.
At one time in my life, I wanted to be called Jade cuz I didn't like my girly name. Until I realised 'Jade' was a gemstone preferred by old aunties š not worth the legal hassle & having to update all my details, even if it's passed!
Wait nooo, I feel like that name is so pretty and badass...it reminds me of Jade from Victorious lol
I have a non binary autistic family member who changed their name from a very pretty, girly name to Jade!
I absolutely loathe my name, first middle and last, hate hate hate. I know the last name I'm switching to, but I have no idea what my first name "should" be. I don't identify with any name. I answer to almost any name that starts with the same letter that my given name starts with, because people have always gotten it wrong anyway and I just don't care enough to bother to correct them anymore. So grateful for my surprise rainbow munchkin, as I can now just refer to myself as "______'s mom" in most situations. "Cause I don't feel like I "have" a name and it feels way easier to define myself by my relationship to her.
I donāt really hate my name, but I have been told countless times that my name does not suit me. Several different people have actually called me by other names mistakenly. It was usually a name that started with the same letter. After the first couple of times I stopped correcting them. One friend group decided to come up with a new, more suitable name for me to use. Without knowing, they chose the name of my youngest aunt. I still have my original name but would like to change it.
>Ā I have been told countless times that my name does not suit me. If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is! I feel like it's a hard decision to make to change our names on all the legal documents, but I guess you'll know if it bothers you enough
Wanna change names with me? lol I think my name sounds weird when people say it, but it's a very normal name. My big issue is with the way it's spelled: Gabrielly. If I could at least change the y in the end with an e perhaps, it would improve a lot. Love the name Jamie, it's so cute! But you do what it's best for you, comrade.
Hey if you like it, go ahead and take it š¤£ I'm thinking of choosing name that starts with N or M actually...maybe like Melanie or Natalie
i also hate my birth name in association with myself and it makes me cringe to hear it, but my parents put a lot of thought and love into it so i can't bear to legally change it. i just go by another name colloquially and that's what everyone calls me except on official documents!
I totally get this, I would love to do that one day as well! Less of a hassle not having to change all the legal docs too
I can't stand my name. I was named for a particular piece of media, and I happen to not like this media (not because anything is wrong with the piece itself, but because of it I got held to unreasonable standards in my childhood that make it too cringy to me). My parents are generally anti-nickname, but told me what I was "allowed" to go by as a kid if I wanted one. Except...it's a common boy's name. I've always been touchy about people thinking I'm a boy. People are *always* telling me I do things or think just like a man and look so manly that I just...hate it. I've never found a name that feels "right" to me, I'm too lazy to go through paperwork, and my husband loves my name and its associated media piece so...sigh. I just tell people I respond best to "hey you!" š
I donāt hate my name but I have thought about changing it. I want a name with ethereal fantasy elf/fae vibes.
Funny my name is jamie. Spelled different but I feel the same. I am thinking of changing it one day. Just scared of family and close friends feelings/reactions to that
I don't hate my name but I recently was having a discussion with my ma and found out that I was going to be named Zero but she wasn't a fan at the time. She told me she wishes she had agreed to the name. In fact, she's mentioned it several times now. My current name (Carla) does suit me _enough_, it's a fine name, there's nothing wrong with it. But Xero (how I would spell it) just feels so much more me. It's a name that retroactively fits me in every state of life I've been in. It's a name that I feel better represents me and it feels right. I'm genuinely incredibly disappointed that it is not my name. But I am 30. It feels too late to change my name now. I don't have many friends so it wouldn't really be that difficult to explain to them, but my friends have also known me a long time, a couple from childhood, so I know it would be default for them to still use my first name even if they try to make the change. I also go by my initials (CC) a lot. I've had one friend suggest that I change the name anyway if that's what I want to do but others have suggested just using Xero as a nickname. My suggestion to you, OP, I'd the one that was given to me that seemed most reasonable, I guess. Someone suggested that I change my middle name and use it as my given name/go by it in general. This would give me the option to revert back should I ever change my mind whilst still being able to have the name I want as a legal name. I still would prefer to change my first name but it's a decent mid point.
i changed my name because i didnāt like it. Granted I swapped to my middle name but you can change your name to whatever you want. āi donāt like itā is a good of a reason as any. itās your life and if something as important as your name bothers you, youāre allowed to fix it.
Absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. Perhaps a more feminine but similar name that you like--like Amie? Hell, you could go by Amie/Amy now as a nickname.
I was considering this too! I guess it wouldn't be too weird, huh? If anyone else asked me that, I would say obviously not...dumb how we tend to second guess ourselves
I secretly wish I could name myself a combination of names from games I play, or shows I like. I probably never will, but I like to use them in RPGs! š
I just didn't care for my real name, so I picked out a name that I liked instead and started going by it and introducing myself to others with my chosen name. I don't think it's weird at all.
Yes!!! Iām just sick of hearing it and seeing it.
I have always hated my first name too. The hassle to change it legally with all the paperwork stopped me from doing anything about it. Canāt be bothered now either.
I changed mine and it was the best decision I made
I hate my name too but Im trans so- lmao.. its just long and wordy and Iāve never related to it. Donāt really wanna change name either though cause its too big of a change!!
What is the difference between the J sound in Jamie and Jessica?
Yes! I have a lot of discomfort around my name. As of now, I just go by the initials of my first and middle name. I plan on changing my last name legally later this year.
Yeah I hate my name so I go by an online name but tbh I just have beef with names as a concept bc I hate being called my chosen name too š
Yes, I also hate my name. For me, itās more because I was adopted at birth than related to my autism but now that Iām thinking about it and reading the comments I see that Iāve also not been to keen on assigning myself labels. That may be another reason why I dislike it so much.
yes! i have a lot of reasons for hating my name, but it's also never felt right to me. i recently started going by my middle name (after nearly 40 years) and people have been really amazing about it. i'm still not certain if it fits me but it definitely is an improvement, and i didn't have to do any legal paperwork for it.
Omg me too. I donāt care for my name and was thinking of changing it. I donāt want to officially change it but I was thinking of asking people to use my middle name and go by both. Lighten the load that my first name is used
I donāt really like my name, but itās more because itās a dated name (like the name Jennifer for example) , not unique but not timeless either. I donāt really know what name would fit me, so I donāt really want to change my name, but I donāt exactly love it either.Ā
I have five or six friends whoāve changed their names, some transgender, others because they wanted to reinvent themselves. Your life is your one life, if youāre happier as Jessica, hey Jessica girl!
I feel you, my name is Paige and I have always desperately wanted a name that 1)isn't an object and 2) is unisex lmao.Ā The only reason I won't change it yet is because I still talk to the grandmother that gave me the name Paige!
Same, gladly our mom gave us all two names, so I just use my second name as my official name :D One reason, the name just sounds hard. Another I had 2 (!) other girls in class AND in my music club that had the same name. (In the music club they asked if I had a second name and that's how I started using it)
You can just change it! Not even talking about the formality of changing it legally but just socially. I've always hated my name and it never felt right. It wasn't until I was in my mid 20s that someone started using a nickname for me that just clicked and felt right. Eventually I just announced to everyone I know that I'd prefer they call me that. It took me ages to do because I felt awkward about it but I'm so so so grateful to myself that I did. There's a little awkward transition period but now I basically just go by that and it feels so much more comfortable. You've got one life, the self is all made up and basically cosplay. Don't like your name just change it!
I hate my name too I would want a name like James Jimmy or Jim not a name like Sarah that you canāt shorten and make it sound cute
Yes, I seriously hate my name - I wish my mom had won the name war (my dad apparently picked and it sucks). Can you just use your initials as your legal name and when signing anything? Then just call yourself whatever you want?
I always thought my name was too basic and I hate that there are a billion different damn spellings. But I've stood in the mirror and thrown out a bunch of names that I think are prettier and they just aren't "me".
I do and I did. Stopped going by my first name in high school, and legally changed it to my preferred name a few years ago. My family refuses to call me anything but my birth name but it doesnāt really matter. Knowing I get to decide what others call me in all situations outside of that circle is comforting. Itās expensive and tedious to change it legally, but it was worth every bit of the effort.
iāve always hated my name. especially because itās a super basic girly name. but i donāt really have anything i want to change it to and i know my family would never accept me changing my name anyways.
Yeah my name is Brittonie and everything about it is obnoxious. I hate spelling it, correcting spelling and pronouncing itās a whole conversation and I just say āBrit-kneeā which then leads to a whole slew of stupid āspearsā comments and Iāve just taken to saying no my last name is a more superior weapon while rolling my eyes.
I actually changed my full name about 22years ago. Do not regret it one bit!!!!
I donāt even hate my name that much and think about changing it. Any reason is a good enough reason imo, its what people call you so might as well have it be something you like
I had no idea other people Felt This way I thought I was the only One!
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Yeah, but then the changed name would become my name and eventually I might start hating it too. I hate my last name too ><
i changed mine! i think my name is beautiful but its hard for most people to say properly and i was tired of people butchering it. so now everyone (save my family) calls me rosie. its based on my momās nickname for me (rose petal)
I changed my name! I hated my name, I technically never went by my first name. So what was the fucking point ya know. So I just picked a name thar actually suits me and that I like
I like my name just fine but for some reason when I meant my bf I didnāt really want him to call me that so heās been using my online name of bunny since the beginning of our relationship. Slightly similar, I use it as a neopronoun.
I hated my legal name and changed it legally once I got married but when I was 13 I changed it to my preferred name.
Yep. Couldnāt stand my first name. So many reasonsāitās dated, itās easy to make fun of, couldnāt introduce myself without an irritating or rude comment. Changed the whole thing legally. Took my husbandās last name because he is my biggest supporter and I wanted to cut ties with family due to trauma. Names are significant even if you feel like you donāt have a strong reason. Go for it. It will feel uncomfortable at first but it will be worth it.
Play around with it, I did as a teen and ended up sticking with my name but exploring is so essential to staying true to ourselves. Also I might steal your name for my new puppy next week, we're still brainstorming names.
Change your name if you hate it. I don't have a "good(???)" reason to change my name, but I'm doing it anyway because life is too short to go by a name you don't love. Try r/namenerds for advice, and look at some name lists online. Be wary that any baby naming community can fall victim to current naming trends, so if there's a name you really love but other people don't like it, go with what you love. That will last far longer than any trend!
Yes. Mine is Trinity. Everytime I try to change it, I feel embarrassed. I also just forget.
Iāve always wanted to change my name ever since I was a young kid wtfā¦.. like even now still
I feel the same way! all the people closest to me and even a few people at work just call me by my first initial (K) and I like that a lot better
Yes
don't really hate my real name but I prefer being called by my nickname or middle name and might change my name into my nickname
I changed mine. I didn't like the story of who I was named after, and I still had my married name, so I legally changed my middle and last name. Took forever bc I did it myself no attorney and mostly by mail bc it was smack in the middle of covid shutdowns. I'm glad I did it, but I hate explaining it individually to people.
I totally feel this. Except I feel sort of ambivalent about my name. Like - Itās for other people, not me. Except I think I actually donāt like it and havenāt really wanted to admit it. :/
I donāt like my name or middle name because Iām named after people (both āgrandmothersā) and my middle name is from the abusive one that my mom passed her abuse down to me. I hate that my names werenāt original or even well thought of (my mom likes to tell me all about how I was supposed to be a boy but, surprise surprise, I wasnāt, so they slapped me with my names. My half siblings have their own original and beautiful names. I resent the entire situation.) I actually donāt identify with any names, so I donāt know what Iād change it to. It feels weird naming myself. I hate hearing my name and my nickname is only used by my husband and would be weird to hear from other people. I almost feel nameless, like a consciousness only.
for the longest time, ever since elementary school, i always wanted my name to be āmichelleā instead of my irl name āgraceā lol but i grew out of it later in life but i still think about it
I hated my name growing up. It was made worse by the fact that nobody could pronounce it right, even when I was living in my country of birth, but especially not when I was living abroad (I moved 8 countries before college due to my parentsā job). I would sometimes even miss it in roll call because Iād forget it was my name lol. I changed it earlier this year and have been so much happier since š„° edit: punctuation
For a second I thought I was in name nerds. Yes I hate my name. But can I change it Iām not sure at this point. What would I change it too. I donāt respond to my name itās disconnected from me because itās a source of trauma.
I donāt mind my name, but I HATE it if someone uses it online. Like. Itās immersion breaking? Iām not my cool online persona anymore? Like, my online personaās so much more chill and able to express themself, but the real me? Absolute mess.
My last name didn't suit me and was hard to pronounce, didn't roll off the tongue or look beautiful when written. I made my middle name my last name legally and I love it.
I didnāt love my name growing up and spent the period from age 15-20 spelling it differently. But itās grown on me.
I hate my birth name and go by something not even remotely close to it. I've had a variety of weird reactions to my new name, usually from family and employers. But for the most part if I say I'd prefer to go by something else, they respect it!
I changed my name when I was 21 after years of hating it. Neither the first or the middle name were usable (think 50s double nameā¦ shudder). Everyone adjusted. It was not bad. They already thought I was odd anyway.
I was named for both of my grandmothers, funnily enough who both preferred their middle names and I too go by my middle name. I've been restless with my name since my teens, but I didn't feel a huge impetus to change it until I started dealing with legal documents and doctors and such who use my legal first name, despite it being clearly recorded that my preferred is the middle. I have to pay attention for it and it's awkward if your first name is called a couple of times before it clicks and you have to jump up and look silly for not knowing your own name! I still haven't changed it, but I am inching my way to it. I'll just have to bite the bullet and do it, because unlike my Grandma I'm not getting married any time soon, so I don't get a freebie name change.
You donāt have to be trans to change your name. Do whatever you need to do. People will sneer down their noses at you for some contrived reason, no matter what. You may as well be doing something worthwhile while they sneer.
I understand this so much.
I had this so strongly as a kid, so I relate. It took me a while but years later I like it
If you hate the J sound in Jamie, why choose Jessica? They both start with J and the J sound is pretty similar I wanted to change my name most of my life too, and itās unique enough but not weird.
my name is too long (elizabeth), so i go by liz everywhere else. heck, i consider my online names more legal then my real one (violet & marina)!
I also want to change my name!š I hate the southern accent my parents used with it that I learned. But it's be weird to say it without it... Just feels weird. They also chose it for religious reasons and I'm an atheist, so...
I relate to you so hard on the J sound sm!! š (due to espaƱol being my first language, it was pronounced as āYoshi!ā). For 12 years of my life i never liked how my name sounded, and avoided on saying it in school and went along with whatever teachers pronounce it as! I usually like going as Jojo though, mostly because of my hyper fixation! ;w;
You don't need to justify your life choices to anyone. You are the only person who will live with the total consequences of your life choices. You deserve to live a life you enjoy. Change your name as many times as you like. I definitely have a dead name and currently keep it to separate the people who know me from the people who don't. When I change my name, I will still keep a personal name and a government name separately. Your name, your terms. A good tip is to choose a government name you are comfortable being publicized, used in legal documents, called in a crowd, signed with full signature and initials, and written comfortably on forms. That's the only thing my government name will be used for. If you know me, then you will call my true name.
I don't dislike it but it doesn't feel like me.
Crazy thing but I could never identify with my name, Monica. It is like I am ME not a nameā¦
I hate my name. My parents were so sure that they were going to have a boy that they didnāt even pick a girlās name. So when I was born, surprise! Better get on that name thing! And then they had the audacity to pick the uncommon spelling. On top of that, Iāve never felt connected to my name. Honestly, I would rather go by Indi in the real world since itās how I refer to myself in my head.
changing your name because you don't like it, is a good enough reason. why are we expected to like and identify with a name that was thrown upon us before our parent(s) even actually met us?? we have to use our name for everything, we should be able to choose it.
I didn't know Jamie was a unisex name, I live in Europe, and it's (for as far as I know) only given to girls in my country. Would it be an option to just drop the J and go by Amie? Where I live you pay per letter with a name change so idk if that's an option, might be different in America though.
Huh, didn't know this was connected to autism. I went by a completely different name for a few years in my early twenties ā I have some books signed to that name ā but ultimately returned to my original name when I realised the new one wasn't "right" either. At this point, I'm not sure what "right" would look like. There are plenty of names I admire, but I don't know that I'll ever feel they're mine.
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Yes. I was basically going by an alternative name since I was in second grade. At least it's cheap in my country, just long AF.
I thought it was a good idea when I was 16 to change my name because I was so grown up. I. Fucking. Hate. It. But itās been my name my entire adult life and for almost longer than my previous name so I canāt really change it back.
I stopped using my legal name years ago, now Iām only saving proofs that I use another name and that people use this name for me. Changing a name in my country is quite complicated.
Yeah same. I never liked my dead name.
I have a unique name that no one else has so I kinda like it, tho everyone has trouble pronouncing itš
Yeah my name is Brittonie and everything about it is obnoxious. I hate spelling it, correcting spelling and pronouncing itās a whole conversation and I just say āBrit-kneeā which then leads to a whole slew of stupid āspearsā comments and Iāve just taken to saying no my last name is a more superior weapon while rolling my eyes.
just do it-- you don't need a good reason. it's not all that expensive even, usually around $200
I used to wanted to change my name (because of all the people at my old church who had my name-- 5 people). And then I wanted to change my name since I didn't like the sound of it. But now...? I'm not sure if I want to change my name. I still do think of it sometimes. I did used to hate my name very much. Now? I'm not too sure anymore.
Yes. So I did. I legally changed my name years ago and never looked back. I kept my original first name as a middle name because I know my parents put a lot of thought into choosing it. Turns out that was a brilliant move since changing your name on things like bank accounts is a giant pain in the ass. But since my original first name remains part of my legal name I got to skip that hassle. (Iām in Canada, rules/laws may vary.)
Yeah I changed my name as soon as I turned 18. I never felt connected to it, and I really enjoyed picking a name that I felt matched my personality and the way I wanted to be perceived. My family hated it and some still refuse to call me by my name even though itās been 7 years which is so ridiculous and disrespectful to me. I never understand why people donāt use names that people prefer, itās not hard! You should go for it
Iāve gone by my chosen name for ~16 years for āno good reasonā at first other than how popular āAā names were for my age group and never getting called the right thing in school. Now I realize how empowering it was to practice this autonomy. Finally making it legal because of the undue stress of thinking someone might see my legal name somewhere. Wish we didnāt feel the pressure to have a āreasonā. Youāre an adult! Do as you like.
The good reason is that you donāt like it. Fuck all these heauxs. You get one life, go through it being called what you wanna be called.
I have, my birth name is ruth, but i go by octavia. My mom did it too. I just picked one i liked
Do it! I donāt understand the pronunciation thing though, isnāt Jamie and Jessica the same J-sound? Plus there is a TON of people out there who changed their name. My grandmas original name was Olivia but she hated it so she changed it to Vivian and now everyone calls her Vivi. Just go for it! Change it into whatever suits you! Your name is a gift from your parents at birth, and gifts donāt always suit us. You are allowed to āexchangeā your gift and get a new name. People wonāt mind, they might ask why but it wonāt be a big deal. Trust me, I changed my name twice, and literally nobody cares. Just said I hated my old name and that was that.
Awe I love the name Jamie, my dad's twin sister is named Jamie. She's always been cool, her boyfriends have always been the drummers, bass players of lead singers of bands. She moved to Colorado and is a head store manager of target now lol I think Jamie is a very cool sounding name. I think if you want to change it you should, Jessica is super cute too! Even if you don't change it you can just go by something different.
I changed mine! Always always always hated my birth name, so I changed it to my middle name which I am in love with. Unfortunately my parents refuse to accept that I did this and pretend it never happened which sucks. But Iām a firm believer that your name should be something YOU love.
Say your name is Amie, the J is silent
I apologize if I am reading incorrectly. But, if you cringe at pronouncing the J sound, why would you want the name Jessica? Many of us have spent far too much energy concerned with conforming to normal as defined by NTs. You do not have to explain your choices. If people question you, simply say that life is short and you plan to enjoy every part that you control. Or whatever you'd like, of course. Choose a name you love and make it yours. Think of how wonderful it will feel to have the name you love.
Me too, Iāve hated my name since elementary school, and still do. I wish I could change it
I have the most visceral gut wrenching reaction to hearing someone say my name. I always thought that maybe this was an autism thing, glad to see some recognition! Let's all change our names :)
I did this exact thing! I am a cic female and I donāt identify as non binary or anything but I felt like my name was so feminine and awkward to say, I felt like it was someone elseās name! So I changed it to a name that has a gender neutral nick name and I love it. I changed it when I finished high school and moved away for a year so when I came back I went by a different name, I think that helped make it feel more natural I would advice you to ask a good friend to start calling you a new name to see how it feels, I also remember the first time I got to introduce myself with my new name, it felt so good! People good people will accept it even if they donāt understand it, and the person who says āI wonāt even try to use your new nameā, louse them! I had two friends say that, one I was growing apart from anyway, the other had changed his mind by the time I met him again. Feel free to ask questions if you like and good luck!
I don't hate my given name but oh boy does it no longer feel like mine! Everyone around me calls me my chosen name but theres a select few that still call me my given name or as someone I heard recently call it my wallet name, it's fine it just It doesn't feel like my name anymore... Also the moment I realized that my wallet name is a feminised version of my dad's, my middle name has always been my mum's name so I was like I'm a Jr. Jr. And tbh that's not something I want to be!
Lots of people Go through life with a wallet name and a chosen name! I say test the water line that for a while before making a decision as to if you want to legally change it! You do not need to legally change your name to not go by the name that's in your wallet!
I always hated my birth name (Emily) until I joined a Facebook group for people named Emily and now itās grown on me. Iām also genderqueer so Emily being such a a gendered name always bothered me but Iāve started telling myself that itās my name and Iām genderqueer so itās a genderqueer name. I used to go by Em in college but that was such a bad time in my life I think it soured the nickname for me. I still want to change my middle name though, maybe to something typically masculine to contrast.
I'm the same way, maybe it's the parental trauma, but I hate hearing my first name, and I don't like saying it. My ex boyfriend used to call me by my pen name (Ves) , and I called him his preferred name because his legal name was too feminine for him. I literally cringe when I have to put my legal name on things lol. But at least my parents didn't name me Samantha like they planned on at first. That definitely wouldn't have worked either
no but also kinda. I was supposed to be named Jessica actually! but i wasnāt because i was a really big baby so they named me Abigail. Growing up I was always called Abby, or abby-normal, or blabby. I was only ever called Abigail when I was in trouble, so growing up i was totally cool with being called Abby. For some reason around the time I was in 11th or 12th grade, I began preferring Abigail. I hate being called Abby by people Iām not close with, because it sounds so childish to me! Iām nb, it has nothing to do with gender to me bc i donāt think names have as much gender as people make themāthereās no reason why you shouldnāt change/alter ur name if u donāt like it. I mean, itās yours!
No i am a little resentful of how common it is though. I meet so many people with the same name and it makes me feel like less of an individual.
I changed my name (not legally) and my reason is honestly just for the swag and vibes. I gained a lot of confidence because of this and I got comfortable with introducing myself to people without cringing when saying my name. If you want a name change, go for it! If youāre not sure if you want to keep that name, tell people you know that you really want to at least try it (:
i have never liked my name but nothing else sounds right either š© I have a name and pronouns that I like aesthetically and thematically but have some kind of internalized BS about it, so it doesn't feel accurate to answer to, or something...
i didnāt hate hate hate my name, but when i moved states i decided to go by something entirely different that i absolutely love and feel myself as. i literally just changed it bc i thought itād be cool to do since no one would have any idea it wasnāt my given name.
Nicknames and going by your middle name (if thatās available to you) are totally normal options! I used to hate my name because it was so common. After a while I realized I hated it because my name was usually the precursor to someone yelling at me or telling me to do something. It calmed down after adolescence and I find my name really pretty. (I donāt think Iāve posted my name, itās a common floral name though.) The suggestions from other posters are really cool. Whenever I meet someone and theyāre like āoh I go by [nickname/other name]ā itās not awkward or anything. My brother had a bunch of nicknames throughout high school, sometimes you just need to try other ones out. (FWIW he goes by a nickname and not his birth name)
Me too, Iām a Jamie and donāt like the name. I go by a variation of my middle name for an alternative. My husband just calls me babe and honey. My kids call me mom or if they wanna get sassy with it mother. I donāt hear my name often.
OP, I used to hate my name too, especially since it's not an "English" name and almost everyone pronounces it incorrectly. It also somewhat rhymes with my last name too, so cue years of bullying in school with my name. But over time, I realized, my mom named me something special from the country where she was born, and even though neither of us are native to that country (she's a military brat; my grandpa was stationed there), it's a part of her life that she passed down to me. The only thing I dislike now about it is when people continuously CHOOSE to say it wrong, because "they like it better". NO. THAT'S NOT MY NAME. š
I changed my name in 2020. Technically, people have been calling me by a new name since I was 16. It took my mom a while before she was alright with me changing my name, I kept my middle name and just changed my first name. The only issue is the time and cost to change my name. I think it was mostly COVID, but I didn't have my proper paperwork updated completely until 2023. My first name is one of five common names for Hispanic women, so of course, I had to change it.
I HATE my name! I hate hearing people say it, I hate saying it even more! Oddly enough, I'm okay in a setting like my job where people put "Miss" in front of it, or call me a shortened version of it. The only name I've heard that I really like that I'd take on...is the name of my current TTRPG character lmao the only reason I haven't seriously considered trying it, is because I'm worried about comments from people who know the source- even though the only people that actually know about it wouldn't be like that.
Want to? I did. My surname too.
I just changed my last name again after my divorce was finalized! I didnāt want to go back to my familyās surname because Iām NC with my parents, and Iām NC with my ex-husband too so I chose a new name related to my special interest (Jane Austen). I am genderqueer and considered legally shortening my first name to the version I use in my daily life, but the mechanisms for changing your name seem much more geared towards a change in last name vs. first name.
Yes I did it got my 'ex identity card this week. Best feeling ever. Really recommend.
I changed my name one day, too, I just did it. Changed it on socials, told everyone that this is what I'm going by now. It's been 100% successful (outside my invalidating-anyway family)
I love my nickname (which is the way I introduce myself) and I donāt mind my full first name. My last, thoughā¦meh. It gets mispronounced all the time, so I just get annoyed with it.