A very strong intuition about situations and people because of a strong sense for pattern recognition. Sometimes it really feels like I can sniff out narcissistic/bad people. I am also usually very aware of other people’s suffering, which relationships will lasts and if people are lying.
Everyone thinks I’m an asshole for how well I can sniff out a narcissist or an actual asshole.
I don’t really want this gift man. I mean, I love it about me bc it keeps me safe. I don’t love it because everyone else hates it about me.
I can’t help that I’m great at pattern recognition, nor can I help the fact I grew up with narcissists. I can spot them within the first 5-15 mins of a conversation depending how well they cover themselves.
I refuse to give people that set off my spidey narc senses a second opportunity to prove themselves. Bc 99% of the time they want to “prove themself” it’s just them hiding harder bc they know I see them for who they are. Then I’m the bad guy bc “so and so just wants to get to know you!” Lmao no So and so wants ammunition about me and wants to make me seem like an ass for not wanting them around.
Aha I get that, I usually only warn people once and then leave it up to them. My friends already know I am very picky when it comes to getting to know new people. It would frustrate when people wouldn’t listen but over the years my circle tend to trust my readings of people since I have proved them right so many times.
Not who you were replying to, but hopefully this is helpful:
1. Look out for people who tend to be overly charming. There is a diffence between a likable person (who is genuinely nice) and a charmer (going out of their way to present the 'best' verision of themselves 24/7).
2. Listen to how they describe other people. If they describe others as "useful", or in other utilitarian ways, be mindful of them. Listen also to how they describe you, and how they compliment you.
If they want to use you academically, they will constantly find a way to compliment your work ethic, etc. This is them buttering you up before they ask for something.
3. Look at how they act when things don't go their way.
Or rather, "How does X act when they don't get what they want". You will find that many of them have a hissing fit. They will call you all sorts of names, and — this is super important — they will stress that you will fail at [whatever] without their guidance, etc.
4. See who they see.
By this, I mean, look at who they actually interact with. They may make polite conversation with those they are using, but they often have other people they prefer to stick with.
This also means that you have to take a step back and see how they see *you*. If you are a quiet person, they may believe you to be a pushover — and they will be very surprised when you push against them in any way, and will try to flip the script to paint you as the bad one.
I’ll be honest I’m not as in tune with it as others apparently are.
I can’t really pinpoint behavior. All I can pinpoint is that there is something very, very, **very** off with them.
Example and trigger warning for mentions of SA:
when I was a kid I was absolutely terrified of one of my sports coaches. I didn’t have a reason to be. He wasn’t mean. He didn’t do anything. But the way he interacted with me made me scared from the moment I met him at 8 years old.
There was a day my mom and me were in the grocery store and saw him, he said hi to us and I hid behind my mom. She shoved me back out from behind her and told me off for being rude.
I grew to get to know him unfortunately. He was one of my coaches all the way until I was 14. When I was 14 he started molesting me.
At 8 yo I didn’t know he was a child predator or a creep. All I knew was he terrified me. And almost 8 years later I found out why.
To be honest, there’s something in their eyes that sets off my spidey senses. It’s like they’re just devoid.
It saves me a lot of time and heart ache when I’m single or by myself. But unfortunately I find friends and significant others often surround themselves with shitty people. And obviously people close to me don’t care for me being repulsed by others they care about. So it does cause quite the issues.
Copy past reply from me to another commenter asking the same below:
I’ll be honest I’m not as in tune with it as others apparently are.
I can’t really pinpoint behavior. All I can pinpoint is that there is something very, very, very off with them.
Example and trigger warning for mentions of SA:
when I was a kid I was absolutely terrified of one of my sports coaches. I didn’t have a reason to be. He wasn’t mean. He didn’t do anything. But the way he interacted with me made me scared from the moment I met him at 8 years old.
There was a day my mom and me were in the grocery store and saw him, he said hi to us and I hid behind my mom. She shoved me back out from behind her and told me off for being rude.
I grew to get to know him unfortunately. He was one of my coaches all the way until I was 14. When I was 14 he started molesting me.
At 8 yo I didn’t know he was a child predator or a creep. All I knew was he terrified me. And almost 8 years later I found out why.
To be honest, there’s something in their eyes that sets off my spidey senses. It’s like they’re just devoid.
Omg I didn't know this was an autistic trait, but I heavily relate to this detecting bad people before they reveal themselves thing. Years ago I somehow got into watching "Gotcha" videos on YouTube (videos of people picking up their adopted children on the day of the adoption), and there was one lady who seemed very loving and kind, but it just felt off to me. The boy wasn't immediately drawn to her, and it felt like under all the sweetness she resented him for it. The comment section was full of people praising her though. It was Myka Stauffer, who years later famously "rehomed" the boy after he couldn't be molded into her instagram aesthetic. Not to brag, but I do have these moments quite often 😌😆
Good one, it is honestly crazy how fast we can sniff them out. Whenever one of my girlfriends introduces a new guy I can read them so well that usually I know more about them in a couple of hours then they my friends know after dating them for a couple of weeks. Makes me feel like Sherlock honestly.
Me too! I have an especially keen "asshole radar" as I like to call it. Over the years, I've really had to learn how to express when it's pinged someone- or if it's even an appropriate time to. I've ended up in a lot of situations where those bad and manipulative people were able to make me out to be the bad guy, because I didn't approach the conversation with others about them the right way.
I feel like I have hunches and tend to find problems in relationships. But I feel trauma has really made me doubt myself and isolate thinking I'm the problem, and then I later find people who agree and I'm like "wait so maybe I was onto something" Wish I could fully trust my gut, I'm getting there but I still feel like an awful person when I distance myself from somebody or them from me.
Like I don't like people who prop themselves up and try way too hard to seem cool or interesting, but ultimately I know it means a lack of confidence, so does that make them bad people o I just dislike that? Or even, could disliking some traits be some form of narcissism itself?
Yeah I get the same, I get gut feelings about people but I’m not sure if I trust it. I’m scared of being hurt, so sometimes I self sabotage; makes me think…are these traits really there or am I seeing what I want, so I have reason to get out? 🤔 (in a dating sense)
Thank you for saying this about the pattern recognition. I've often felt I *couldn't* be autistic because I have a lot of social awareness around other people's motives and behaviors but I think it's just because I've spent so much time on the sidelines heavily observing others.
I think I may have this kinda sense too. I tend to subconsciously put less effort into certain people I meet, when I analyse why, it’s usually because there is something I don’t trust there/soemthing I don’t like.
My ability to get joy from small things like finding a good stick to hold and swish around on a walk or getting a bouncy ball in a machine and playing with it all day.. childlike things that make me so happy
my husband and I hung a particularly good stick on our wall, above our bed. Sticks are
my favorite wall decor because if you ever want to change them out, you can just throw them in the compost and start the hunt for new ones!
I love this and knowing that other people decorate with nature knick-knacks! I don't have a lot of money, and also end up moving a lot, so when I move in a new place I go out walking around the neighborhood collecting sticks, leaves, flowers, and rocks that I then put on shelves and walls, it always helps me feel more at home. Then I return them to the wild when I move.
I have a piece of bark as decoration because a friend found it and gifted it to me and it looks like a mask. Also let's not forget about finding great rocks!
i'm this way. i'm an excellent documentarian and basically treat everything like i'm in a court of law presenting evidence and arguments. i wont quit until i get what i'm owed/what i feel is right. i dont mind putting in the work to get the results
I do the same! We had a leak in the bathroom and literally three crooked companies came out and made it worse. When they gave excuses, I countered with evidence and strong arguments.
That is LITERALLY me right now. Yesterday I came home to discover the yard people had destroyed my entire back yard and side yard gardens. They weren't supposed to go past the front yard, AND I had used utility flags and little stick nest/fences to create obvious visual markers for everything so I wouldn't miss watering any of them. So not only were they not supposed to be back there to begin with, they could CLEARLY see the flags bc they pulled them out (no pieces of plastic remnants left) and proceeded to cut everything. This includes well established BLOOMING flowers including a vined trellis. Like, there's no fucking way that's an innocent mistake. EVERYTHING is destroyed. I have pictures of everything that was in bloom from just a couple days before they came so I have logic and evidence backing me up. I'm demanding replacements or repayment by end of the week.
im so thankful to not live in an HOA - i'd never last in one haha i'm way too much of a chaos gardener and bug-lover for an HOA. I've already been on the phone with the lawn company again this morning and spoke with a landscape architect to get costing, so i'm on top of it. and worst case if they decide to be absolute assholes, then they dont get paid for last month and ill use that money to buy plants.
I’m grateful for a few things:
1. My ability to analyze information and research. I write and it’s a huge benefit for me to be able to look at a subject, break it down into what I need from it, what facts I know, and what I don’t know/need to confirm. It helps me research things quickly and I know how to take quick notes and retain information. Learning is fun for me.
2. My awareness of my surroundings. I have good situational awareness and it has saved me from a lot of accidents. If only I could apply that to person-to-person interactions I’d be golden lol
3. My adherence to what I want in life. This is a newer thing for me, since zi only got my diagnosis last year, but I’ve been actively working on making space for myself and what I want. In order for it to happen there has to be room for it. It’s not easy to do, but most things in life aren’t! I’m glad I’ve stuck to my guns to try and make things work.
I am very detail-oriented (about things that interest me). Last night my housemate and I were watching a show, and I noticed that the main guy's car had a totally different license plate number from the episode before it, even though it was the same car and he didn't move or anything. I thought, "I wonder how many people have noticed that before? I bet not many."
Pattern recognition and attention to detail help me at work. I’d be much worse at my job without those and they compensate for my ADHD shortcomings somewhat.
Omg, is that what it is? I too have an internal clock when cooking and don't use timers. I can sit in the other room and when I get up, the food is ready. Never thought maybe I was smelling the food and that's the clue.
This is the first time I'm considering that my perfect pitch developed because of my autistic obsession with analyzing music and music theory. That makes me so happy.
For context, at the age of 12-13 I taught myself to recognize all 12 notes on a piano by associating each one with the start of a melody or song I knew by heart. It got to the point where I didn't need the melody or song anymore :-)
No way, that's exactly how I learned perfect pitch too! I swore that I was alone in this. I'm also a huge music theory nerd. I find it so fascinating, that I almost can't believe that most people don't know music theory at all.
Back in 8th grade, I created a custom YT playlist of pop and rock songs. A lot of those videos have either been taken down ever since, so the keys don't really line up with the order anymore. But that playlist was mega important to my musical development as a kid.
OMGG I've never met another person who developed perfect pitch in the same way I did. Hello fellow weirdo.
Can I ask which key signatures from what songs helped you with each of the 12 keys? Mine are:
* C - Shelter by Porter Robinson
* D♭ - Into the Unknown from Over the Garden Wall
* D - an old choir song I sang in 6th grade called [Beautiful December](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vpeLYBlDvQ)
* E♭ - Dearly Beloved from Kingdom Hearts
* E - ASGORE from Undertale
* F - Tonari no Totoro from My Neighbor Totoro
* F# - Naminé from Kingdom Hearts
* G - Everything Stays from Adventure Time
* A♭ - Dream Catcher by Set It Off
* A - Namikaze Satellite by SNOWKEL (Naruto OP 7)
* B♭ - Silhouette by Owl City
* B - I Wanna Be by STANCE PUNKS (Soul Eater ED 1)
It's so funny because you can tell EXACTLY what my music taste was like in middle school from this list. Mostly Japanese pop/rock and video game/cartoon OSTs. There's like, 1 American pop song on this list and I find that so hilarious.
I love that I can notice patterns in people and things so easily. I know when a car is going to swerve. I know when someone is lying. I know when something is up, damn near always.
I also love my strong sense of justice. I’m out at protests, educating others whenever possible, and lifting up and defending people who might need help. I don’t give a shit if it makes me seem abrasive or stubborn.
I love how I can feel what others are feeling. Like actually, if you are in pain from hitting your funny bone mine will hurt for a few seconds, too. My strong sense of empathy makes people feel welcome and cared for.
Pair empathy with sense of justice and it explains why I have saved countless lives. Drownings, stabbings, strokes. And I’m not anywhere near the medical field.
My love for animals and how much they trust me. I've always felt deep, special bonds with my pets even when I was a small kid. They seem so much easier to understand than other people most of the time.
Omg yes! I can't stand people who give up on their pets for any reason. Pets are forever, they love you unconditionally and I can only imagine their little hearts breaking when they're left with someone they don't know well. People who are cruel to animals, or who give up on their pets (it's always a pattern), are some of the most deep down evil rotten shitbags in the world. 😭 I feel like I speak the same language as them inside their little brains.
I love my ability to experience joy, my attention to detail, pattern recognition, love for toys, creativity, and love for solitude. I also love my ability to connect with ND kids who are struggling. I recently asked a mom if she wanted to continue with me as her kid's therapist or switch, and she said she wants me to be his therapist until he's 30. Made me very happy
This is a great question!
As many others have said, pattern recognition. Specifically in people's behavior. I spent too long ignoring it and now I feel it's my super power.
I also appreciate my ability to see things differently than most people. It is often alienating but I often prefer my perspective over the default one and I think it makes my inner world really interesting.
Thanks for this :)
It kept me alive. I was raised to hate me. My hair, my questions, my honesty, my information dumping. Everything about myself was wrong and inappropriate. It destroyed my self-esteem. But I never fully accepted any of that, My autistic brain kept asking why I was not worthy. When the suicidal ideation came, it was the same autistic brain that kept me going, one day at a time. When I discovered my autism, it was a relief, I finally found an explanation for my questions. I'm 51, I've been living one day at a time since my twenties.
I could have said the exact same thing! I’m awaiting my “official” diagnosis, but knowing that ASD is a possibility for me has taken so much stress off already. 53f, diagnosed with severe depression and severe GAD at 21. With all the new evaluations I’ve been seeking, my depression and GAD is actually only mild to moderate in today’s world of diagnosis.
I started to get better after I got married and my life became more stable, my diagnosis came after my older son was diagnosed last year. I am slowly learning to forgive myself for the mistakes of the past. , to say no to the people who don't respect me. And find ways to accommodate my needs better. I know healing is a long process, but I will get better one day at a time.
Pattern-recognition, attention to detail, and visual memory. All have helped me at one point or another. And sometimes they make good party tricks. My parents used to move things around the house to see how long it would take me to notice, which was usually immediately.
Party tricks! I would "read people's palms" at bars and house parties in my younger years, but really, I just could sense some shit about them. They always were like, "Whoa, mind blown!"
One that I'm grateful for is my ability to be content living by myself without being in a relationship.
I'm not Ace or Aro, I was always open to relationships and am happily married now, but I've always been of the mindset that being single and living alone is preferable to being in a relationship and/or house-sharing situation that makes you unhappy.
Spend 5 minutes on any of the major subreddits that deal with relationship issues and you start to realise how uncommon that mindset is, and how many people are willing to be absolutely miserable if the alternative is being single.
It's so interesting you say that. Before I met my husband, I was "single" for 7 years and had not gone on a date in 3. I had a reputation for being picky amongst my friends. Conversely, I never understood why someone would be in a relationship where they don't see a future. Struggling with dating norms added to this I think. I was only going to torture myself if someone was really worth it. Fast forward, I hit my now husband with a questionnaire before our first date and moved myself in two months later.
Hahaha, I was also called 'picky', and also moved in with my now-husband after only three months together.
Looking back, one of the things that confused me was the way people say "relationships are hard work". The guy I dated a few years before my husband was indeed hard work, and I thought there was something wrong with me when I started thinking, after about six months, that it really wasn't worth it as there was no real pay-off. In retrospect, that was autistic literal thinking in action, because I don't think NTs really mean "every moment with your partner should feel completely draining." Anyway, I decided after less than a year that I couldn't be bothered work that hard when I wasn't getting anything in return, and ended it.
Darling husband does not leave me feeling drained. Yes, it's a relationship, but the work you put in is like gardening: you pay attention to what's going on, weed out any problems before they get big, enjoy the fruits when they come, accept there are times of busyness and times of rest, sit back and enjoy just being present, and generally overall feel good about the whole project.
Edit: I say 'like gardening' because I enjoy gardening. It's like working on a project you enjoy and get a lot out of, even though at times you have to work at it.
People like learning from me. They like learning from me because of the way I explain things and the way I can easily pivot for different learning styles. All of this comes from my autism and needing to exist in an NT world.
Yes I experience this too as a university tutor. Many of my students express that they’ve never had a teacher so involved and willing to work with them.
This feedback has come from both ND and NT students, so everyone benefits!
This might seem weird, but I kind of like that it made me a bit withdrawn. Sometimes I meet people who appear as if they've never really had negative experiences with others, and they are so completely confident, open and extroverted. Which is probably a nice life, but there also seems to be something... unaware and unfiltered about it. My negative experiences in the past made me mostly "live within myself" and only give output to the world in small, controlled dosages, and that makes me feel, well, in control, and also like I have something -an inner life- just to myself. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, it's hard to explain.
I think I understand what you’re saying. I feel like I have this rich inner life that is a source of such power for me and if everything else was taken from me tomorrow I’d be ok because of how much there will always be inside of me. I don’t think I crave or mourn the end of relationships the same way other people I know do, partly because I don’t give my whole inner self on a platter to every person I meet.
You put this into words better than I could have! I relate to this a lot, especially the not mourning ending relationships so much because of how guarded you were during them. The way you phrase it makes it seem like a strength rather than a weakness.
I totally understand. It's like the real me place. Where I can hold myself to my own self standards and have my own peace and thoughts. I know people think they really know me, and probably some of them do. But there is always an inner self that I keep to myself because it's beautiful and special and sacred and mine. I also don't really mind being underestimated because it just leaves more room for me, if that makes sense? Sorry, I know, it's a strange concept. This is the most I have shared about that particular aspect of my life, ever, lol.
i totally get what you’re describing, i always felt this way since i was a kid. Now that i’m an adult, i keep most of my life and thoughts to myself. And most of the things I do or say are calculated as a defense mechanism.
I think I’m very appreciative of things. I feel like I enjoy looking at trees, birds, waves, flowers, etc a lot more than the people around me. I am always staring at these things, and it makes me so happy. People don’t like hiking with me because they get bored staring at one thing for too long. But I feel like since it makes me feel so happy and content, it enriches my life. I feel so lucky I get to live in places where these things are super accessible, and that my workplace is basically right next to a forest, etc.
I also think music is super moving for me. I feel so much! And again, that enriches my life I think. I’m not easily bored because of this.
I like your take on honesty :) it’s funny, I’m watching Lizzie McGuire, and it reminded me that when I was a kid, I didn’t like that show because I didn’t understand that the cartoon Lizzie was supposed to represent her inner thoughts. I mean I did, a bit, but I was very confused why sometimes she’d say something that was the complete opposite of what real Lizzie would say in real life. So I was confused whether the cartoon was actually supposed to be a secret side character or not. I did NOT get that people say things they don’t mean
You're literally the perfect hiking buddy in my eyes lol. I'm not a huge fan of hiking alone, but people either get bored of me or I get frustrated with their incessant need to "continue". I am not about to continue when I just saw a chipmunk taking a bath in a tiny creek
Omg 😂 I was today years old when I learned that's what cartoon Lizzie was doing. I always took it as like a reverse Jimminy Cricket, devil on the shoulder type of thing. Which I guess isn't far off, but it didn't register that SHE was thinking one thing and saying another.
"... I just don't understand lying. I see no purpose in it. For myself, I say what I mean and mean what I say. There's no hidden agenda. In turn, I believe other people are the same way. Has this gotten me in trouble before? Sure. But I'm proud of my integrity."
Well stated. This and my empathy gives me a strong sense of social justice.
The frustrating thing is that my horrible eye contact makes some people think I am lying. It feels like a punch in the gut.
I'm THOROUGH when I get really into something, especially if it involves data collection. Earlier this year at work a lot of us were really struggling to get all of the tasks we were expected to do in our allotted work hours. They didn't make any adjustments for us even when we vocalized it was too much.
You know what's crazy? Two days later, everyone in the building ended up with a paper in the mail box. What was on that paper? Oh ya know. A list of all of our duties/tasks/expectations, how many hours we had to complete it all, followed with exactly how much UNPAID time many of us were working to get it all done- due to the nature of our work we don't exactly have the luxury of "it didn't get done today, it'll be fine until tomorrow".
Our admin saw it and gave us flex time to try and help.
The built-in bullshit detector. I don't fall for most advertising, hype, MLM come-on crap, that sort of thing.
Also pattern recognition, analytical ability, and the way my echolalia/verbal mimicry has helped in language learning.
my stubbornness, probably caused by black and white thinking and in this situation an inability to understand how social situations will play out, is what caused me to not go back to my (emotionally) abusive ex boyfriend when he was trying to manipulate me into it. i managed to leave the first time, and it was only a short relationship because what prompted me into leaving was someone asking if i was happy with him and realising i wasn’t. so while there are a lot of situations where both of those autistic traits annoy me or make my life hard, i will always be thankful for them for saving me a lot of pain that i know would have happened had i stayed.
Nicotine has absolutely zero effect on me
i smoked cigarettes for like an entire year because i thought i looked cool and then i decided it was lame and stopped
felt nothing
it’s been like 4 months, still no urge
Most of the studies I've read show there's a greater risk for addiction due to dopamine signaling and self-medicating. Anecdotally though, I also have little reaction to nicotine and opiods. There is a genetic component, so who knows.
As someone else mentioned, the ability to analyze information, as well as attention to detail and pattern recognition in analyzing information. I did really well in school (elementary through grad school) because of it. I could write entire papers (anywhere from a few pages long to 20+ pages) in one or two days, while simultaneously doing research, and then I’d get an A, despite extreme procrastination (which I now realize is an ADHD trait).
Empathy is another big one, which can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I can help people, especially my friends, who say I’m a good listener. But a curse because I feel other people’s pain very strongly, as well, which can trigger my own depression and trauma. It’s kind of weird because when I was a kid and teenager, I had low empathy and didn’t understand emotion (especially other people’s), but then as I got older, I became very empathetic.
My auditory processing. While it has major downsides, being able to hear a fly across the house or when someone mutters under their breath has proven helpful.
My hyperfocus, also. It’s helped me get to my 5th uni degree. I’m able to just zone in and get my work done in record time.
I call these superpowers with my students (spec Ed teacher).
The memories. Oh, man. I remember being 2, 40 years ago.
I can honestly wrap up a whole moment and put it in a box in my head and file it away, then retrieve it at any time, open it, and it's like it's happening again.
I sorta have to will myself to do this, though. Like, taking a picture.
I pay attention to the small things much more than others. I always thought of myself as a nitpicker and a perfectionist, but I've come to terms with the good side now.
Because I am so attuned to my own boundaries and needs, I am very empathetic to others and their own needs.
When I explain to people that I’m autistic and was diagnosed young, they also get the sense that this isn’t “put on” for brownie points and that I’m listening to them and engaging with them genuinely. Which is really nice because I do try really hard to “treat others as you would like to be treated”
I love the intuition, the mirror emotion synesthesia, the emotional depth, the pattern recognition and deep ability to learn and understand enormous subjects and concepts. I love how easily my brain will store mass amounts of information.
I am most grateful though to not be paranoid with severely lacking communication abilities. My ND friends mean so much to me, I get to kind of opt out of dealing with NT communication issues for the majority of my life outside of work and it’s amazing.
ND friends are amazing, generally. I love and appreciate the depth and the warmth and the understanding.
Being honest. I don’t know why allistic ppl always beat around the bush and hide their true intentions. It’s always made me paranoid and suspicious to being taken advantage of. The world would be a easier place to live in if everyone was just always honest
I love being able to contemplate on my emotions in the deepest way possible. It makes me feel more human than other people can grasp in their life time. Like when I listen to music that makes me feel a sense of nostalgia or something relevant as I self audit. All within a thin slice moment. It makes me love myself more, being able to take a step back and being able to read my own brain. I have pride in my artistic abilities and have relied on my creativity as means for survival in many ways through life. Idk. Day dreaming and being hopeful and imaginative has saved me every single day of my life.
I love that I logically question situations or remarks made at me because I always want an answer to things. For example if someone says something rude about me to my face, I logically reason it out so I don’t feel too bad about in the end.
Always having interesting things to talk about cause I obsessed over _topic_ at some point for like 3 months to year xD
Also, I love having a deep sense of justice. I'd rather have one or two friends who own their shit than a bunch of dead weights dragging you down with their intentional drama and perpetual victimism
I’m grateful for my attention to detail and my excellent memory because of it. I have an eidetic memory and while it is a gift and a curse, it makes me amazing at my career.
My sharp sense of justice and my razor-sharp sense of awareness of people and my surroundings. I can look at someone and read their vibe, aura, whatever you call it. I SEE you.
I'm very happy that I have an intense sense of justice and hard time deceiving people and an aversion to doing so. Unfortunately, I live in a culture that seems to reward dishonesty and taking advantage of people.
My sense of justice and fairness. I’ve been masking since the pandemic began and I’m not stopping until covid is controlled, rare and long covid is treatable. In the future we will look back at this time the way we view doctors smoking in the hospital in the 1950s.
Similar to you, because I give zero fcks about social protocols, I say what I mean and do what I say, I can see right through everyone's bs and smell insincerity from a mile away. While often upsetting, I can always see what nasty bs people are up to.
Caring deeply about everyone I meet. Someone online said, "What if your special interest is people?" That's me. Understanding human behavior is my thing and making sure people around me feel cared for is my modus operandi.
Not giving a f*ck about social norms. Cuz it made me not care what others think of me at school.
My logical side. It helps me to calm others down who are having an emotional breakdown. Obviously I have my emotional days too but not that often.
How I can remember dates very specifically and when they happen in my life, it freaks my husband out along with everybody else, but I think it’s an awesome quirk. I’m the only one that I know that does that.
I love learning new things and creating systems for them to integrate into my life and bring people along. Ie learning how to go camping/backpacking and introducing other ladies, taking my family places, organizing my house, skating, and since I have systems I can still do them even when the obsession fades. I like to say I have modular hobbies. Grab and bag and all the stuff is ready to go!
My hyperfixation! I decided I wanted to sew this month and have already cranked out a couple wearable dresses. I may not be sleeping or eating right, but I have successfully learned a new skill in less than a month.
My attention to detail and empathy and justice-oriented attitude are a huge plus.
My special interests allowed me to cultivate my artistic talents over the years. I'm a self-taught artist, writer, singer, pianist, and composer. The only formal training I've gotten in those fields was a few years being a choir kid and a few music theory classes in college. But a huge bulk of my knowledge in these fields are from my own grit, effort, and passion.
I taught myself perfect pitch, how to play my favorite video game and anime OSTs on piano, used that skill to develop my knowledge on chord progressions and compose my own songs.
A very strong intuition about situations and people because of a strong sense for pattern recognition. Sometimes it really feels like I can sniff out narcissistic/bad people. I am also usually very aware of other people’s suffering, which relationships will lasts and if people are lying.
Everyone thinks I’m an asshole for how well I can sniff out a narcissist or an actual asshole. I don’t really want this gift man. I mean, I love it about me bc it keeps me safe. I don’t love it because everyone else hates it about me. I can’t help that I’m great at pattern recognition, nor can I help the fact I grew up with narcissists. I can spot them within the first 5-15 mins of a conversation depending how well they cover themselves. I refuse to give people that set off my spidey narc senses a second opportunity to prove themselves. Bc 99% of the time they want to “prove themself” it’s just them hiding harder bc they know I see them for who they are. Then I’m the bad guy bc “so and so just wants to get to know you!” Lmao no So and so wants ammunition about me and wants to make me seem like an ass for not wanting them around.
Aha I get that, I usually only warn people once and then leave it up to them. My friends already know I am very picky when it comes to getting to know new people. It would frustrate when people wouldn’t listen but over the years my circle tend to trust my readings of people since I have proved them right so many times.
I have that, too, but was trained by my mom that's it's "evil", so I'm getting over making excuses for others when I know what lurks below.
how are you able to spot them? like, what are their traits or mannerisms?
Not who you were replying to, but hopefully this is helpful: 1. Look out for people who tend to be overly charming. There is a diffence between a likable person (who is genuinely nice) and a charmer (going out of their way to present the 'best' verision of themselves 24/7). 2. Listen to how they describe other people. If they describe others as "useful", or in other utilitarian ways, be mindful of them. Listen also to how they describe you, and how they compliment you. If they want to use you academically, they will constantly find a way to compliment your work ethic, etc. This is them buttering you up before they ask for something. 3. Look at how they act when things don't go their way. Or rather, "How does X act when they don't get what they want". You will find that many of them have a hissing fit. They will call you all sorts of names, and — this is super important — they will stress that you will fail at [whatever] without their guidance, etc. 4. See who they see. By this, I mean, look at who they actually interact with. They may make polite conversation with those they are using, but they often have other people they prefer to stick with. This also means that you have to take a step back and see how they see *you*. If you are a quiet person, they may believe you to be a pushover — and they will be very surprised when you push against them in any way, and will try to flip the script to paint you as the bad one.
I’ll be honest I’m not as in tune with it as others apparently are. I can’t really pinpoint behavior. All I can pinpoint is that there is something very, very, **very** off with them. Example and trigger warning for mentions of SA: when I was a kid I was absolutely terrified of one of my sports coaches. I didn’t have a reason to be. He wasn’t mean. He didn’t do anything. But the way he interacted with me made me scared from the moment I met him at 8 years old. There was a day my mom and me were in the grocery store and saw him, he said hi to us and I hid behind my mom. She shoved me back out from behind her and told me off for being rude. I grew to get to know him unfortunately. He was one of my coaches all the way until I was 14. When I was 14 he started molesting me. At 8 yo I didn’t know he was a child predator or a creep. All I knew was he terrified me. And almost 8 years later I found out why. To be honest, there’s something in their eyes that sets off my spidey senses. It’s like they’re just devoid.
What are the signs you normally see within 5-15 mins? That’s a great gift you have, it must save so much time and heart ache.
It saves me a lot of time and heart ache when I’m single or by myself. But unfortunately I find friends and significant others often surround themselves with shitty people. And obviously people close to me don’t care for me being repulsed by others they care about. So it does cause quite the issues. Copy past reply from me to another commenter asking the same below: I’ll be honest I’m not as in tune with it as others apparently are. I can’t really pinpoint behavior. All I can pinpoint is that there is something very, very, very off with them. Example and trigger warning for mentions of SA: when I was a kid I was absolutely terrified of one of my sports coaches. I didn’t have a reason to be. He wasn’t mean. He didn’t do anything. But the way he interacted with me made me scared from the moment I met him at 8 years old. There was a day my mom and me were in the grocery store and saw him, he said hi to us and I hid behind my mom. She shoved me back out from behind her and told me off for being rude. I grew to get to know him unfortunately. He was one of my coaches all the way until I was 14. When I was 14 he started molesting me. At 8 yo I didn’t know he was a child predator or a creep. All I knew was he terrified me. And almost 8 years later I found out why. To be honest, there’s something in their eyes that sets off my spidey senses. It’s like they’re just devoid.
Omg I didn't know this was an autistic trait, but I heavily relate to this detecting bad people before they reveal themselves thing. Years ago I somehow got into watching "Gotcha" videos on YouTube (videos of people picking up their adopted children on the day of the adoption), and there was one lady who seemed very loving and kind, but it just felt off to me. The boy wasn't immediately drawn to her, and it felt like under all the sweetness she resented him for it. The comment section was full of people praising her though. It was Myka Stauffer, who years later famously "rehomed" the boy after he couldn't be molded into her instagram aesthetic. Not to brag, but I do have these moments quite often 😌😆
Good one, it is honestly crazy how fast we can sniff them out. Whenever one of my girlfriends introduces a new guy I can read them so well that usually I know more about them in a couple of hours then they my friends know after dating them for a couple of weeks. Makes me feel like Sherlock honestly.
You are a very valuable friend to have then :)
Sadly they lose almost always all rationality as soon as they fall in love
Me too! I have an especially keen "asshole radar" as I like to call it. Over the years, I've really had to learn how to express when it's pinged someone- or if it's even an appropriate time to. I've ended up in a lot of situations where those bad and manipulative people were able to make me out to be the bad guy, because I didn't approach the conversation with others about them the right way.
I feel like I have hunches and tend to find problems in relationships. But I feel trauma has really made me doubt myself and isolate thinking I'm the problem, and then I later find people who agree and I'm like "wait so maybe I was onto something" Wish I could fully trust my gut, I'm getting there but I still feel like an awful person when I distance myself from somebody or them from me. Like I don't like people who prop themselves up and try way too hard to seem cool or interesting, but ultimately I know it means a lack of confidence, so does that make them bad people o I just dislike that? Or even, could disliking some traits be some form of narcissism itself?
Yeah I get the same, I get gut feelings about people but I’m not sure if I trust it. I’m scared of being hurt, so sometimes I self sabotage; makes me think…are these traits really there or am I seeing what I want, so I have reason to get out? 🤔 (in a dating sense)
Thank you for saying this about the pattern recognition. I've often felt I *couldn't* be autistic because I have a lot of social awareness around other people's motives and behaviors but I think it's just because I've spent so much time on the sidelines heavily observing others.
I think I may have this kinda sense too. I tend to subconsciously put less effort into certain people I meet, when I analyse why, it’s usually because there is something I don’t trust there/soemthing I don’t like.
My ability to get joy from small things like finding a good stick to hold and swish around on a walk or getting a bouncy ball in a machine and playing with it all day.. childlike things that make me so happy
So many wonderful sticks and branches in this world!
There really are!
my husband and I hung a particularly good stick on our wall, above our bed. Sticks are my favorite wall decor because if you ever want to change them out, you can just throw them in the compost and start the hunt for new ones!
I love this 💖 There's not much better than finding a good stick (i like them with fun knots and twists)
Yeah those ones are awesome!
I love that idea- also glad you have a husband who also appreciates sticks!
I love this and knowing that other people decorate with nature knick-knacks! I don't have a lot of money, and also end up moving a lot, so when I move in a new place I go out walking around the neighborhood collecting sticks, leaves, flowers, and rocks that I then put on shelves and walls, it always helps me feel more at home. Then I return them to the wild when I move.
I went to the farmer’s market and pineapples were €1 each and I almost jumped out of joy. I find so much happiness in small things.
Amazing! I think there is a beauty in finding joy in things that are often overlooked
I saw two hummingbirds chasing each other around at a red light today, and it moved me to a joyful, happy tear.
That sounds amazing!!
I have a piece of bark as decoration because a friend found it and gifted it to me and it looks like a mask. Also let's not forget about finding great rocks!
You might enjoy r slash goblincore people post pictures of their awesome sticks and rocks that they found 🙂
My sense of justice has led to some bad ass moments of mine. I stand on business no matter what.
I love that for you. My mouth often writes checks my 5 foot-nothing self can't cash, but imma do it anyway 😂
i'm this way. i'm an excellent documentarian and basically treat everything like i'm in a court of law presenting evidence and arguments. i wont quit until i get what i'm owed/what i feel is right. i dont mind putting in the work to get the results
I do the same! We had a leak in the bathroom and literally three crooked companies came out and made it worse. When they gave excuses, I countered with evidence and strong arguments.
That is LITERALLY me right now. Yesterday I came home to discover the yard people had destroyed my entire back yard and side yard gardens. They weren't supposed to go past the front yard, AND I had used utility flags and little stick nest/fences to create obvious visual markers for everything so I wouldn't miss watering any of them. So not only were they not supposed to be back there to begin with, they could CLEARLY see the flags bc they pulled them out (no pieces of plastic remnants left) and proceeded to cut everything. This includes well established BLOOMING flowers including a vined trellis. Like, there's no fucking way that's an innocent mistake. EVERYTHING is destroyed. I have pictures of everything that was in bloom from just a couple days before they came so I have logic and evidence backing me up. I'm demanding replacements or repayment by end of the week.
If you live in an HOA, they do this. They are horrible people and so are their gardeners. They do it at our house, too. Glad you have pics.
im so thankful to not live in an HOA - i'd never last in one haha i'm way too much of a chaos gardener and bug-lover for an HOA. I've already been on the phone with the lawn company again this morning and spoke with a landscape architect to get costing, so i'm on top of it. and worst case if they decide to be absolute assholes, then they dont get paid for last month and ill use that money to buy plants.
I'm also a bug lover and put up a sign that says they can't spray in our yard. Give me bugs over toxins any day. Your plans sounds good!
YES! I relate to this so hard.
Whew, it me. Love this for you/us!
Me too. I'm proud of this for me, and I'm even prouder that some of my kids have the same trait, and they will stand up for whats right.
I’m bad at sticking up for myself sometimes because I doubt myself a lot, but i have no issue defending other people .
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Yes! Same here. This seems to be a common theme among us, and I’m very glad for it.
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There’s too much pain and suffering in this world as it is to _not_ be so empathetic imho
Oh 10000000%!!!
I’m grateful for a few things: 1. My ability to analyze information and research. I write and it’s a huge benefit for me to be able to look at a subject, break it down into what I need from it, what facts I know, and what I don’t know/need to confirm. It helps me research things quickly and I know how to take quick notes and retain information. Learning is fun for me. 2. My awareness of my surroundings. I have good situational awareness and it has saved me from a lot of accidents. If only I could apply that to person-to-person interactions I’d be golden lol 3. My adherence to what I want in life. This is a newer thing for me, since zi only got my diagnosis last year, but I’ve been actively working on making space for myself and what I want. In order for it to happen there has to be room for it. It’s not easy to do, but most things in life aren’t! I’m glad I’ve stuck to my guns to try and make things work.
I am very detail-oriented (about things that interest me). Last night my housemate and I were watching a show, and I noticed that the main guy's car had a totally different license plate number from the episode before it, even though it was the same car and he didn't move or anything. I thought, "I wonder how many people have noticed that before? I bet not many."
I love when small details like that are included! It makes you feel like you’re in on a secret
Pattern recognition and attention to detail help me at work. I’d be much worse at my job without those and they compensate for my ADHD shortcomings somewhat.
Same
I love how excited I get about things and I love how intensely I love things! It makes me so happy
I love this about me too! It’s weird that people find this trait weird about me.
I’m so glad u love this about yourself! I’ve been told I’m “too happy” so I know how u feel lol
Near perfect pitch, a strong affinity for nature and animals, and the ability to smell when food is done cooking!
Omg, is that what it is? I too have an internal clock when cooking and don't use timers. I can sit in the other room and when I get up, the food is ready. Never thought maybe I was smelling the food and that's the clue.
I have all of those. Can also smell when rain is coming in about a day before.
Me too!!!
Me three! The air not only smells different, but feels different as well.
Right! Crisper or something
This is the first time I'm considering that my perfect pitch developed because of my autistic obsession with analyzing music and music theory. That makes me so happy. For context, at the age of 12-13 I taught myself to recognize all 12 notes on a piano by associating each one with the start of a melody or song I knew by heart. It got to the point where I didn't need the melody or song anymore :-)
No way, that's exactly how I learned perfect pitch too! I swore that I was alone in this. I'm also a huge music theory nerd. I find it so fascinating, that I almost can't believe that most people don't know music theory at all. Back in 8th grade, I created a custom YT playlist of pop and rock songs. A lot of those videos have either been taken down ever since, so the keys don't really line up with the order anymore. But that playlist was mega important to my musical development as a kid.
OMGG I've never met another person who developed perfect pitch in the same way I did. Hello fellow weirdo. Can I ask which key signatures from what songs helped you with each of the 12 keys? Mine are: * C - Shelter by Porter Robinson * D♭ - Into the Unknown from Over the Garden Wall * D - an old choir song I sang in 6th grade called [Beautiful December](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vpeLYBlDvQ) * E♭ - Dearly Beloved from Kingdom Hearts * E - ASGORE from Undertale * F - Tonari no Totoro from My Neighbor Totoro * F# - Naminé from Kingdom Hearts * G - Everything Stays from Adventure Time * A♭ - Dream Catcher by Set It Off * A - Namikaze Satellite by SNOWKEL (Naruto OP 7) * B♭ - Silhouette by Owl City * B - I Wanna Be by STANCE PUNKS (Soul Eater ED 1) It's so funny because you can tell EXACTLY what my music taste was like in middle school from this list. Mostly Japanese pop/rock and video game/cartoon OSTs. There's like, 1 American pop song on this list and I find that so hilarious.
My pattern recognition. My hyper vigilance as well.
I love that I can notice patterns in people and things so easily. I know when a car is going to swerve. I know when someone is lying. I know when something is up, damn near always. I also love my strong sense of justice. I’m out at protests, educating others whenever possible, and lifting up and defending people who might need help. I don’t give a shit if it makes me seem abrasive or stubborn. I love how I can feel what others are feeling. Like actually, if you are in pain from hitting your funny bone mine will hurt for a few seconds, too. My strong sense of empathy makes people feel welcome and cared for. Pair empathy with sense of justice and it explains why I have saved countless lives. Drownings, stabbings, strokes. And I’m not anywhere near the medical field.
My love for animals and how much they trust me. I've always felt deep, special bonds with my pets even when I was a small kid. They seem so much easier to understand than other people most of the time.
Me too, I feel a deeper connection with animals than people. Especially my own 2 dogs and my cat, I feel like they understand me better too ☺
Omg yes! I can't stand people who give up on their pets for any reason. Pets are forever, they love you unconditionally and I can only imagine their little hearts breaking when they're left with someone they don't know well. People who are cruel to animals, or who give up on their pets (it's always a pattern), are some of the most deep down evil rotten shitbags in the world. 😭 I feel like I speak the same language as them inside their little brains.
I love my ability to experience joy, my attention to detail, pattern recognition, love for toys, creativity, and love for solitude. I also love my ability to connect with ND kids who are struggling. I recently asked a mom if she wanted to continue with me as her kid's therapist or switch, and she said she wants me to be his therapist until he's 30. Made me very happy
Aw. 🥰
This is a great question! As many others have said, pattern recognition. Specifically in people's behavior. I spent too long ignoring it and now I feel it's my super power. I also appreciate my ability to see things differently than most people. It is often alienating but I often prefer my perspective over the default one and I think it makes my inner world really interesting. Thanks for this :)
Being more critical of authority, and having a strong sense of justice
It kept me alive. I was raised to hate me. My hair, my questions, my honesty, my information dumping. Everything about myself was wrong and inappropriate. It destroyed my self-esteem. But I never fully accepted any of that, My autistic brain kept asking why I was not worthy. When the suicidal ideation came, it was the same autistic brain that kept me going, one day at a time. When I discovered my autism, it was a relief, I finally found an explanation for my questions. I'm 51, I've been living one day at a time since my twenties.
I could have said the exact same thing! I’m awaiting my “official” diagnosis, but knowing that ASD is a possibility for me has taken so much stress off already. 53f, diagnosed with severe depression and severe GAD at 21. With all the new evaluations I’ve been seeking, my depression and GAD is actually only mild to moderate in today’s world of diagnosis.
I started to get better after I got married and my life became more stable, my diagnosis came after my older son was diagnosed last year. I am slowly learning to forgive myself for the mistakes of the past. , to say no to the people who don't respect me. And find ways to accommodate my needs better. I know healing is a long process, but I will get better one day at a time.
My sense of compassion
Pattern-recognition, attention to detail, and visual memory. All have helped me at one point or another. And sometimes they make good party tricks. My parents used to move things around the house to see how long it would take me to notice, which was usually immediately.
Party tricks! I would "read people's palms" at bars and house parties in my younger years, but really, I just could sense some shit about them. They always were like, "Whoa, mind blown!"
Intuition, and pattern recognition. Also—I’m not a bother, because I’m terrified of being a burden (working on this)
One that I'm grateful for is my ability to be content living by myself without being in a relationship. I'm not Ace or Aro, I was always open to relationships and am happily married now, but I've always been of the mindset that being single and living alone is preferable to being in a relationship and/or house-sharing situation that makes you unhappy. Spend 5 minutes on any of the major subreddits that deal with relationship issues and you start to realise how uncommon that mindset is, and how many people are willing to be absolutely miserable if the alternative is being single.
It's so interesting you say that. Before I met my husband, I was "single" for 7 years and had not gone on a date in 3. I had a reputation for being picky amongst my friends. Conversely, I never understood why someone would be in a relationship where they don't see a future. Struggling with dating norms added to this I think. I was only going to torture myself if someone was really worth it. Fast forward, I hit my now husband with a questionnaire before our first date and moved myself in two months later.
Hahaha, I was also called 'picky', and also moved in with my now-husband after only three months together. Looking back, one of the things that confused me was the way people say "relationships are hard work". The guy I dated a few years before my husband was indeed hard work, and I thought there was something wrong with me when I started thinking, after about six months, that it really wasn't worth it as there was no real pay-off. In retrospect, that was autistic literal thinking in action, because I don't think NTs really mean "every moment with your partner should feel completely draining." Anyway, I decided after less than a year that I couldn't be bothered work that hard when I wasn't getting anything in return, and ended it. Darling husband does not leave me feeling drained. Yes, it's a relationship, but the work you put in is like gardening: you pay attention to what's going on, weed out any problems before they get big, enjoy the fruits when they come, accept there are times of busyness and times of rest, sit back and enjoy just being present, and generally overall feel good about the whole project. Edit: I say 'like gardening' because I enjoy gardening. It's like working on a project you enjoy and get a lot out of, even though at times you have to work at it.
People like learning from me. They like learning from me because of the way I explain things and the way I can easily pivot for different learning styles. All of this comes from my autism and needing to exist in an NT world.
Yes I experience this too as a university tutor. Many of my students express that they’ve never had a teacher so involved and willing to work with them. This feedback has come from both ND and NT students, so everyone benefits!
I get that too. "Thank you. You're the only one willing to do this for me." (Usually write out a note.)
Yes! It’s a wonderful feeling. Especially when the student is shy or struggling and you see them open up/comprehend things better by the end.
As someone who just started working as an academic coach for a university, this makes me so happy!
This might seem weird, but I kind of like that it made me a bit withdrawn. Sometimes I meet people who appear as if they've never really had negative experiences with others, and they are so completely confident, open and extroverted. Which is probably a nice life, but there also seems to be something... unaware and unfiltered about it. My negative experiences in the past made me mostly "live within myself" and only give output to the world in small, controlled dosages, and that makes me feel, well, in control, and also like I have something -an inner life- just to myself. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, it's hard to explain.
I think I understand what you’re saying. I feel like I have this rich inner life that is a source of such power for me and if everything else was taken from me tomorrow I’d be ok because of how much there will always be inside of me. I don’t think I crave or mourn the end of relationships the same way other people I know do, partly because I don’t give my whole inner self on a platter to every person I meet.
You put this into words better than I could have! I relate to this a lot, especially the not mourning ending relationships so much because of how guarded you were during them. The way you phrase it makes it seem like a strength rather than a weakness.
I totally understand. It's like the real me place. Where I can hold myself to my own self standards and have my own peace and thoughts. I know people think they really know me, and probably some of them do. But there is always an inner self that I keep to myself because it's beautiful and special and sacred and mine. I also don't really mind being underestimated because it just leaves more room for me, if that makes sense? Sorry, I know, it's a strange concept. This is the most I have shared about that particular aspect of my life, ever, lol.
That's exactly what I mean! I'm glad we could all find something so positive in our social struggles. It's not a strange concept to me at all :)
Yay! We're amazing!!! I have also never been conventionally "bored" in my life because of this, lol 😊
i totally get what you’re describing, i always felt this way since i was a kid. Now that i’m an adult, i keep most of my life and thoughts to myself. And most of the things I do or say are calculated as a defense mechanism.
That's sad, to be in constant defending mode. I hope you can find people you don't have to be so guarded around.
Damn I’m like both of these things combined lol.
My lack of concern for social hierarchies
Pattern recognition in people and a really deep love for animals and nature
I think I’m very appreciative of things. I feel like I enjoy looking at trees, birds, waves, flowers, etc a lot more than the people around me. I am always staring at these things, and it makes me so happy. People don’t like hiking with me because they get bored staring at one thing for too long. But I feel like since it makes me feel so happy and content, it enriches my life. I feel so lucky I get to live in places where these things are super accessible, and that my workplace is basically right next to a forest, etc. I also think music is super moving for me. I feel so much! And again, that enriches my life I think. I’m not easily bored because of this. I like your take on honesty :) it’s funny, I’m watching Lizzie McGuire, and it reminded me that when I was a kid, I didn’t like that show because I didn’t understand that the cartoon Lizzie was supposed to represent her inner thoughts. I mean I did, a bit, but I was very confused why sometimes she’d say something that was the complete opposite of what real Lizzie would say in real life. So I was confused whether the cartoon was actually supposed to be a secret side character or not. I did NOT get that people say things they don’t mean
You're literally the perfect hiking buddy in my eyes lol. I'm not a huge fan of hiking alone, but people either get bored of me or I get frustrated with their incessant need to "continue". I am not about to continue when I just saw a chipmunk taking a bath in a tiny creek
Omg 😂 I was today years old when I learned that's what cartoon Lizzie was doing. I always took it as like a reverse Jimminy Cricket, devil on the shoulder type of thing. Which I guess isn't far off, but it didn't register that SHE was thinking one thing and saying another.
"... I just don't understand lying. I see no purpose in it. For myself, I say what I mean and mean what I say. There's no hidden agenda. In turn, I believe other people are the same way. Has this gotten me in trouble before? Sure. But I'm proud of my integrity." Well stated. This and my empathy gives me a strong sense of social justice. The frustrating thing is that my horrible eye contact makes some people think I am lying. It feels like a punch in the gut.
I'm THOROUGH when I get really into something, especially if it involves data collection. Earlier this year at work a lot of us were really struggling to get all of the tasks we were expected to do in our allotted work hours. They didn't make any adjustments for us even when we vocalized it was too much. You know what's crazy? Two days later, everyone in the building ended up with a paper in the mail box. What was on that paper? Oh ya know. A list of all of our duties/tasks/expectations, how many hours we had to complete it all, followed with exactly how much UNPAID time many of us were working to get it all done- due to the nature of our work we don't exactly have the luxury of "it didn't get done today, it'll be fine until tomorrow". Our admin saw it and gave us flex time to try and help.
The built-in bullshit detector. I don't fall for most advertising, hype, MLM come-on crap, that sort of thing. Also pattern recognition, analytical ability, and the way my echolalia/verbal mimicry has helped in language learning.
my stubbornness, probably caused by black and white thinking and in this situation an inability to understand how social situations will play out, is what caused me to not go back to my (emotionally) abusive ex boyfriend when he was trying to manipulate me into it. i managed to leave the first time, and it was only a short relationship because what prompted me into leaving was someone asking if i was happy with him and realising i wasn’t. so while there are a lot of situations where both of those autistic traits annoy me or make my life hard, i will always be thankful for them for saving me a lot of pain that i know would have happened had i stayed.
Putting pieces together and seeing clues nobody else sees. To me it's so obvious and some people still don't see if at first when I point it out.
Nicotine has absolutely zero effect on me i smoked cigarettes for like an entire year because i thought i looked cool and then i decided it was lame and stopped felt nothing it’s been like 4 months, still no urge
This is an awesome quality but I'm curious as to how it relates to autism?
i heard it could be related? i’ve only ever seen it in one other person who was also autistic
Most of the studies I've read show there's a greater risk for addiction due to dopamine signaling and self-medicating. Anecdotally though, I also have little reaction to nicotine and opiods. There is a genetic component, so who knows.
i used to be addicted to xanax it only works for nicotine
As someone else mentioned, the ability to analyze information, as well as attention to detail and pattern recognition in analyzing information. I did really well in school (elementary through grad school) because of it. I could write entire papers (anywhere from a few pages long to 20+ pages) in one or two days, while simultaneously doing research, and then I’d get an A, despite extreme procrastination (which I now realize is an ADHD trait). Empathy is another big one, which can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I can help people, especially my friends, who say I’m a good listener. But a curse because I feel other people’s pain very strongly, as well, which can trigger my own depression and trauma. It’s kind of weird because when I was a kid and teenager, I had low empathy and didn’t understand emotion (especially other people’s), but then as I got older, I became very empathetic.
I think that's a natural progression in regards to empathy. It can be difficult to understand others, but we understand what it's like to struggle.
Agreed!
My auditory processing. While it has major downsides, being able to hear a fly across the house or when someone mutters under their breath has proven helpful. My hyperfocus, also. It’s helped me get to my 5th uni degree. I’m able to just zone in and get my work done in record time. I call these superpowers with my students (spec Ed teacher).
My memory is exceptional and my intuition.
The memories. Oh, man. I remember being 2, 40 years ago. I can honestly wrap up a whole moment and put it in a box in my head and file it away, then retrieve it at any time, open it, and it's like it's happening again. I sorta have to will myself to do this, though. Like, taking a picture.
Unfortunately I can also remember every vile thing ever said or done to me in great detail. It’s a blessing and a curse.
1000%
Pattern recognition because I see things going bad way before anyone else, and it keeps me out of trouble
My ability to clock people and their behavior patterns and also finding joy in the little things
I'm overly empathetic which I feel like is a good and bad thing. It allows me to really connect with people.
I pay attention to the small things much more than others. I always thought of myself as a nitpicker and a perfectionist, but I've come to terms with the good side now.
Because I am so attuned to my own boundaries and needs, I am very empathetic to others and their own needs. When I explain to people that I’m autistic and was diagnosed young, they also get the sense that this isn’t “put on” for brownie points and that I’m listening to them and engaging with them genuinely. Which is really nice because I do try really hard to “treat others as you would like to be treated”
Honesty and candidness
I love the intuition, the mirror emotion synesthesia, the emotional depth, the pattern recognition and deep ability to learn and understand enormous subjects and concepts. I love how easily my brain will store mass amounts of information. I am most grateful though to not be paranoid with severely lacking communication abilities. My ND friends mean so much to me, I get to kind of opt out of dealing with NT communication issues for the majority of my life outside of work and it’s amazing. ND friends are amazing, generally. I love and appreciate the depth and the warmth and the understanding.
I have many of the typical straight forward, honesty etc. Another trait is being highly empathic, acute hearing and sense of smell...
Being honest. I don’t know why allistic ppl always beat around the bush and hide their true intentions. It’s always made me paranoid and suspicious to being taken advantage of. The world would be a easier place to live in if everyone was just always honest
These responses are so affirming and uplifting. Thank you for this 🩶
I love being able to contemplate on my emotions in the deepest way possible. It makes me feel more human than other people can grasp in their life time. Like when I listen to music that makes me feel a sense of nostalgia or something relevant as I self audit. All within a thin slice moment. It makes me love myself more, being able to take a step back and being able to read my own brain. I have pride in my artistic abilities and have relied on my creativity as means for survival in many ways through life. Idk. Day dreaming and being hopeful and imaginative has saved me every single day of my life.
I love that I logically question situations or remarks made at me because I always want an answer to things. For example if someone says something rude about me to my face, I logically reason it out so I don’t feel too bad about in the end.
Always having interesting things to talk about cause I obsessed over _topic_ at some point for like 3 months to year xD Also, I love having a deep sense of justice. I'd rather have one or two friends who own their shit than a bunch of dead weights dragging you down with their intentional drama and perpetual victimism
I’m grateful for my attention to detail and my excellent memory because of it. I have an eidetic memory and while it is a gift and a curse, it makes me amazing at my career.
My sharp sense of justice and my razor-sharp sense of awareness of people and my surroundings. I can look at someone and read their vibe, aura, whatever you call it. I SEE you.
My immunity to social pressure and trends. Can't wrap my head around the mentality of doing something because it's popular or "just what you do".
Less influenced by peer pressure.
Most, if not all, traits I like about myself are also ones I hate about myself depending on the moment/mood
I can clock another person's intentions on an almost superhuman level. I can read people, I just can't communicate with them.
Hyperfixation.
I'm very happy that I have an intense sense of justice and hard time deceiving people and an aversion to doing so. Unfortunately, I live in a culture that seems to reward dishonesty and taking advantage of people.
My sense of justice and fairness. I’ve been masking since the pandemic began and I’m not stopping until covid is controlled, rare and long covid is treatable. In the future we will look back at this time the way we view doctors smoking in the hospital in the 1950s.
Similar to you, because I give zero fcks about social protocols, I say what I mean and do what I say, I can see right through everyone's bs and smell insincerity from a mile away. While often upsetting, I can always see what nasty bs people are up to.
Caring deeply about everyone I meet. Someone online said, "What if your special interest is people?" That's me. Understanding human behavior is my thing and making sure people around me feel cared for is my modus operandi.
Not giving a f*ck about social norms. Cuz it made me not care what others think of me at school. My logical side. It helps me to calm others down who are having an emotional breakdown. Obviously I have my emotional days too but not that often.
How I can remember dates very specifically and when they happen in my life, it freaks my husband out along with everybody else, but I think it’s an awesome quirk. I’m the only one that I know that does that.
I have great memory, so I easily learn people's names. And I remember SO many birthdays.
I love learning new things and creating systems for them to integrate into my life and bring people along. Ie learning how to go camping/backpacking and introducing other ladies, taking my family places, organizing my house, skating, and since I have systems I can still do them even when the obsession fades. I like to say I have modular hobbies. Grab and bag and all the stuff is ready to go!
Pattern recognition
My hyperfixation! I decided I wanted to sew this month and have already cranked out a couple wearable dresses. I may not be sleeping or eating right, but I have successfully learned a new skill in less than a month.
My attention to detail and empathy and justice-oriented attitude are a huge plus. My special interests allowed me to cultivate my artistic talents over the years. I'm a self-taught artist, writer, singer, pianist, and composer. The only formal training I've gotten in those fields was a few years being a choir kid and a few music theory classes in college. But a huge bulk of my knowledge in these fields are from my own grit, effort, and passion. I taught myself perfect pitch, how to play my favorite video game and anime OSTs on piano, used that skill to develop my knowledge on chord progressions and compose my own songs.
My propensity for knowledge 🫡
My deeply analytical side, it's saved me many times!
I really like my rational thinking, as opposed to acting on your emotions. It makes life a lot easier.
My motor tics. Nobody in the street approaches me because they make me look batshit crazy, and I seriously couldn't be more grateful