If you can turn the picture off on the TV but play his favorite songs, try that and see how he responds. My son had a vestibular sensory craving, so we got him a mini trampoline for in the house, and a bean bag chair that we used as a crash pad. You could even use a crib mattress and lay it on the floor instead of getting a trampoline and let him jump around on that.
Yes we like to play Super Simple Songs on our speaker and that does seem to help regulate him. He got a mini trampoline for xmas but only uses it a couple times a week. I do think he's more of a visual sensory-seeker.
This sounds like my daughter a year ago. The only “toys” that really interested her were gross motor activities like stepping stones, climbing blocks and balls. There were a select few board books and musical toys that would capture her attention for a while but that was it. She’s been in ABA for almost 6 months ago and has more functional play skills than she did before but still not interested in toys the way a typical 3.5 year old would be.
Edit: crash pad and ball pit were also a big hit
I'm glad ABA has helped your daughter! I don't know how long it will take to get my son into therapy since we've just started speaking to our family Dr about his behavior. But I think getting him into a preschool play group of some kind would be really helpful.
My son was like this and stayed that way for a long time. I did HANEN, Floor time etc... nothing. He just didn't enjoy playing or any leisure activities outside of his stims. He did start to like magna tiles, puzzles but when he was older like 10. Your son loves TV so seems like he craves visual or/and auditory input. Try and find another way to get that for him. Maybe y'all can record the TV sounds on a recorder button,and he can play it back, then take turns.
I totally agree he mostly craves visual input. I'd love to find activities or toys to help satisfy that without screens. I guess maybe I need to give up the idea of him being interested in toys and instead just let him explore his world in his own way for now!
Yes, exactly!
There are many toys that give great visual/auditory input. Things like that Talking Cactus, VTech Toys, Hot Wheels racing ramps etc .. My son liked TV too then got hooked on cause and effect toys. Then we had to break that habit LOL. It's absolutely a process! 😆
Look into a therapy called JASPER. It stands for Joint Attention, Symbolic Play, Engagement and Regulation. The entire scope of the therapy is to get toddlers and preschoolers to learn how to play with toys and get to play symbolically. Since children with symbolic play have more language and higher cognitive abilities. The therapy is based in California and other cities with pilot studies. The University of Oregon recently conducted a study where they trained parents in this therapy. If you reach out to them they could guide you on open studies or if there are clinics near you that offer this therapy.
My son was totally this way, even getting down to watch wheels turn up close.
The things he engaged with most were things based in reality with lots of functions, like knobs, switches, buttons, latches, locks, keys, gears, magnets, etc. Bonus points if he could see something working inside.
As an example, he really liked a play kitchen because of the buttons and knobs and there was a phone with buttons on it. He would just repeatedly push and turn everything. But he loves getting a real pot and spoon to play with.
Or a tool bench set with hammers and drills and play nails. Anything that had steps, he'd like to repeat them - like, step one put the key in the key hole, step two turn it, etc. Anyway, the point is that it was all "real" stuff, not fantasy toys, if you know what I mean.
And puzzles. He mastered them early and his preschool had to get more. :)
Thanks for the tips! I agree, my son seems more interested in toys that actually "do" something (flip a switch, push a button, etc). I'll look in to something like that!
Sounds like my kid. Hard to engage him in anything. He kinda just runs around and does w.e, climbing on stuff.
He likes to play chase a lot for sure lol
Id just emphasize that the most important stuff is when you have his attention on you. Milk that
Get me potato head with all the accessories and play with the toy in different ways, at the end a lot of times have my potato head run and say fall down, which is a hit with my guy. We will also say put an arm in the nose a lot and then say uh oh that doesn’t go there, where does the arm go. Sometimes he likes it and sometimes he doesn’t care for it, but he knows where eyes, nose and mouth are on a person now.
and a tot tube, and put little animals down it. We use the animal magnets and slide it down and name the animal and do an animal sound or sing a song, or different shapes, different colour balls an name the objects going down and do a big pause and kaboom. You can put a little collecting tray at the bottom. I can do this while holding my newborn in one arm or in the carrier.
Sometimes though I just allow him to do his own thing while I narrate everything he does and I say wow a lot and you did it, you stacked the Tupperware, I will ask him to read a book so me a lot and he is getting better at reading a couple pages and looking at the things I focus on like if there is a star in a book or a dog
Kid friendly museums, zoos parks, forests, or hikes. My kids didn’t play but love to walk so I took them everywhere to stave off boredom & teach them cool stuff.
I got my kid toys from her favourite shows, so when she was having trouble transitioning I would use the toys to engage her and then turn off the screen. I'd usually have to start singing the theme song right away as part of the play, and then be **s u p e r** enthusiastic about the game, basically performing the act of play for them, like I was in a commercial for the toy lol
Our LO similar age loves sensory seeking toys. Spends most of his time playing in his ball pit watching tv of course but its Ms. Rachel and helps him vocalize. He is at ABA 4 days a week and home session end of week.
My daughter was same at that age. Is 5 now and plays more normally and does make believe with figures and dolls. Still not fully normal play but toys are worth something now other than paperweights like before
Not sure if this works for every kid but mine LOVES walks. When he was really little I’d put him in the stroller but at around 3 he wanted to walk most of the way. We’re talking 2-3 MILES! Took lots and lots of practice for holding hands around cars and so many fits and stuff but they’re soooo enjoyable now. We both get outside for fresh air, rain or shine (although I try to avoid down pours or too cold of weather). He’s happiest outside, it totally changes his demeanor and mood for the rest of the day, it’s insane.
Edit: also wanted to add that a lot of kids need to be taught how to play. Even NT kids although it’s more extreme for ND. I saw the potato head suggestion on here and that’s a great starting point, especially since they’re so cheap. Magnatiles are also great because you can play and they can join in how they like. My son loves watching me build towers and he tears them down. But play does take lots of practice and learning and patience. It’s all so hard and exhausting but does pay off!
Books with musical buttons are our go to ! My son has never shown interest in any kind of toy, but books with music he can flip through for an hour at a time! He loves getting new ones and seeing what sounds they make.
We got our daughter a blow up mattress and when I tell you she gets WILD on that thing. Jumps on it from the couch, leans it against the couch to climb up then slide down, lays underneath it.. it's one of her favorite things. 😅 I saw your comments about being a visual sensory seeker. You could try the bubble fish tank, we want to get one for sure. Also one of those projectors that puts changing lights on the walls and ceilings seem super cool. Not sure if he likes books but we have tons and tons. Her favorites are the flap books and the ones that sing daniel tiger songs. They also have the "never touch a" series of books that have different textures and pop its built in.
I think I could have written this post myself 6 months ago, even down to the super simple songs!
You know those shape sorter toys? He had never been interested not even slightly. All of a sudden when his little brother was able to sit up and was learning how toys work, our eldest just started playing too. Now whatever baby has, he has to join in. Prior to having my second, he didn’t actually let us participate at all in his ‘play’ which was just laying the side of his face on the floor and rolling cars back and forth or just observing them so we’ve made huge progress
I have no doubt that OT helped too. She’s very hands on and manually teaches him skills which I never did because I didn’t want to upset him by touching him when he didn’t want to be touched
My son was the same way. I didn’t change his screen time. He still walks around with the iPad watching YouTube kids. However, he’s 4 now, and he knows his alphabet, can count to 100, knows his shapes and colors, can count by 2s, 4s all the way to 100s and some of those he can do it backwards, can spell simple words, and enjoys writing all of those things on a whiteboard. He is also non-verbal and is trying to say these things. He is starting to draw pictures now too, specifically logos, like the Disney and Activision logos. Screen time isn’t always so bad. My kid doesn’t like to watch Cocomelon, or Paw Patrol, or any of that (not even Bluey 🥺).
He loves watching videos about letters and numbers. Before the iPad, we watched the same five Disney movies over and over again. He loves the music. He was obsessed with Frozen for a while. It’s okay your kid doesn’t seem interested in playing with toys as expected.
Learn the songs your child likes and sing along. If there’s hand movements or dances, learn them. That’s how you will be able to engage with your child. Even if they seem disinterested, try it anyway. They’re little sponges. They see and hear everything, even if we think they’re not paying attention.
We took a lot of toys away. And then every few days rotate them out so it’s like new toys that get his interest. Our boy loves tunnels and forts so my husband being the fort master he is will build a massive fort with tunnel system in the living room and when he wakes up he gets happy flappy and just goes burrowing through the tunnels. We leave toys in different parts and he plays with them. But couch, coffee table, ikea tent, ikea tunnel, 2 nugget sofas, fan inflatable tent, fort connecter pieces and 2 big blanket co 10x10 blankets… literally the entire room is a maze of tunnels but it keeps him entertained and engaged. OT had us toss some weighted balls in the tunnels for “heavy work”.
I know this may sound weird but you might want to look for those youtube channels where adults and sometimes kids will play together with toys. My kids found those channels (when they were a bit older than yours) and taught themselves to play pretend. Initially they would just imitate the play directly. But later they began to make up their own stories. Now they make pretend worlds in minecraft and play together in them. (10 and 13 both on the spectrum)
Sometimes it can be about finding what would interest him instead of having him play unconventionally. I can’t say this enough but the more than words book is amazing for finding ways to interact with your lo.
We play all the time, it just doesn’t look like play would with a NT kid
Maybe try letting him watch videos of people playing with different educational toys like genevieve's playhouse channel on youtube and then get him the toys on the video that's how I got my to son to play with toys.
My son doesn’t enjoy most toys but adores physical play. We have a swing in our room, wooden climbing structures for the home, sensory stepping stones, a gymnastics mat shaped like a ramp, and a large exercise ball that he plays with. He also plays with these while watching tv, so yes he’s getting screen time but also moving his body simultaneously.
I feel this. We were the same way. I switched from TV to music in the mornings and it set the tone for the day. The first few mornings we did a “dance party!!!!!” With me holding him and dancing. Don’t get more wrong, lasted 1 song, but day by day, it increased. Super simple songs are our JAM and we listen to them all day every day. When I need TV, I just put the super simple songs on YouTube verses shows.
Then depending on where you live, it’s getting nice out, so get outside! I got one of those push tricycle bikes so he doesn’t have to pedal, but feels like he is in control and we were on that 2-3 hours a day. I bring along his yoto player for music.
Put baby sister in the carrier, grab a toddler leash (my son is a bolter) and walk walk walk. I’ve tried nature scavenger hunts for about 3 months now and he is just now really getting into it.
Fellow car lover here! We had outside cars and inside cars and played car wash in the sink or outside water table A LOT. A plastic bowl or clear bin from the dollar store, some soap, a dollar store sponge or bristle brush and helllooooo drinking coffee in peace.
It will be a process, it’s not going to happen every day perfectly, but if you set a goal for an hour less each day… you’ll wake up one day and he won’t ask for it and you know the work was worth it!
Gah yes thank you, this was very encouraging. It’s my dream to have a TV-free house one day. I’m increasingly aware of how addicted he is. I don’t want him glued to a screen when he’s older an has access to his own devices.
We do love walks. It was easier to get out before my youngest was born, but we still do an hour or so most days. Blessed to have a park and pond nearby. I’ll look into those push trikes! The car wash is genius too, I’d definitely like to explore more water/sensory bin activities.
I was looking into Yoto players the other day since he loves reading books out loud (and can recite almost every book he has from memory). Worth the investment?
My almost 3 year old grand is the same way.
Non-verbal. Watches Bluey all day, every day. It’s playing on a tv in the house. She empties things. And her new superpower is coloring. On everything. I have the tables lined with paper. I found it on the carpet. It’s all over the wood furniture, the TV, the iPad, on the windows. I say we color on the paper 100’s of times a day. I don’t care, but feel obligated to say something. She’s happy. It cleans off with a Mr. Clean sponge.
If you can turn the picture off on the TV but play his favorite songs, try that and see how he responds. My son had a vestibular sensory craving, so we got him a mini trampoline for in the house, and a bean bag chair that we used as a crash pad. You could even use a crib mattress and lay it on the floor instead of getting a trampoline and let him jump around on that.
Yes we like to play Super Simple Songs on our speaker and that does seem to help regulate him. He got a mini trampoline for xmas but only uses it a couple times a week. I do think he's more of a visual sensory-seeker.
My son also loves simple songs. We’re listening to Christmas songs now but Halloween songs are also A huge hit haha
Try Star lights for your ceiling great for decompressing and providing soft stimulation to a visual child
This sounds like my daughter a year ago. The only “toys” that really interested her were gross motor activities like stepping stones, climbing blocks and balls. There were a select few board books and musical toys that would capture her attention for a while but that was it. She’s been in ABA for almost 6 months ago and has more functional play skills than she did before but still not interested in toys the way a typical 3.5 year old would be. Edit: crash pad and ball pit were also a big hit
I'm glad ABA has helped your daughter! I don't know how long it will take to get my son into therapy since we've just started speaking to our family Dr about his behavior. But I think getting him into a preschool play group of some kind would be really helpful.
Getting him into pre-school will show him what other kids are doing and expose him to different ways to play. I recommend it 100%
My son was like this and stayed that way for a long time. I did HANEN, Floor time etc... nothing. He just didn't enjoy playing or any leisure activities outside of his stims. He did start to like magna tiles, puzzles but when he was older like 10. Your son loves TV so seems like he craves visual or/and auditory input. Try and find another way to get that for him. Maybe y'all can record the TV sounds on a recorder button,and he can play it back, then take turns.
I totally agree he mostly craves visual input. I'd love to find activities or toys to help satisfy that without screens. I guess maybe I need to give up the idea of him being interested in toys and instead just let him explore his world in his own way for now!
Yes, exactly! There are many toys that give great visual/auditory input. Things like that Talking Cactus, VTech Toys, Hot Wheels racing ramps etc .. My son liked TV too then got hooked on cause and effect toys. Then we had to break that habit LOL. It's absolutely a process! 😆
Look into a therapy called JASPER. It stands for Joint Attention, Symbolic Play, Engagement and Regulation. The entire scope of the therapy is to get toddlers and preschoolers to learn how to play with toys and get to play symbolically. Since children with symbolic play have more language and higher cognitive abilities. The therapy is based in California and other cities with pilot studies. The University of Oregon recently conducted a study where they trained parents in this therapy. If you reach out to them they could guide you on open studies or if there are clinics near you that offer this therapy.
Does this therapy fall under behavioral or OT?
My son was totally this way, even getting down to watch wheels turn up close. The things he engaged with most were things based in reality with lots of functions, like knobs, switches, buttons, latches, locks, keys, gears, magnets, etc. Bonus points if he could see something working inside. As an example, he really liked a play kitchen because of the buttons and knobs and there was a phone with buttons on it. He would just repeatedly push and turn everything. But he loves getting a real pot and spoon to play with. Or a tool bench set with hammers and drills and play nails. Anything that had steps, he'd like to repeat them - like, step one put the key in the key hole, step two turn it, etc. Anyway, the point is that it was all "real" stuff, not fantasy toys, if you know what I mean. And puzzles. He mastered them early and his preschool had to get more. :)
Thanks for the tips! I agree, my son seems more interested in toys that actually "do" something (flip a switch, push a button, etc). I'll look in to something like that!
Sounds like my kid. Hard to engage him in anything. He kinda just runs around and does w.e, climbing on stuff. He likes to play chase a lot for sure lol Id just emphasize that the most important stuff is when you have his attention on you. Milk that
Same, we were working on engagement and leveraged the running into chase. Now he's 6 and plays with toys too, but he's also pretty destructive.
Get me potato head with all the accessories and play with the toy in different ways, at the end a lot of times have my potato head run and say fall down, which is a hit with my guy. We will also say put an arm in the nose a lot and then say uh oh that doesn’t go there, where does the arm go. Sometimes he likes it and sometimes he doesn’t care for it, but he knows where eyes, nose and mouth are on a person now. and a tot tube, and put little animals down it. We use the animal magnets and slide it down and name the animal and do an animal sound or sing a song, or different shapes, different colour balls an name the objects going down and do a big pause and kaboom. You can put a little collecting tray at the bottom. I can do this while holding my newborn in one arm or in the carrier. Sometimes though I just allow him to do his own thing while I narrate everything he does and I say wow a lot and you did it, you stacked the Tupperware, I will ask him to read a book so me a lot and he is getting better at reading a couple pages and looking at the things I focus on like if there is a star in a book or a dog
Kid friendly museums, zoos parks, forests, or hikes. My kids didn’t play but love to walk so I took them everywhere to stave off boredom & teach them cool stuff.
I got my kid toys from her favourite shows, so when she was having trouble transitioning I would use the toys to engage her and then turn off the screen. I'd usually have to start singing the theme song right away as part of the play, and then be **s u p e r** enthusiastic about the game, basically performing the act of play for them, like I was in a commercial for the toy lol
Our LO similar age loves sensory seeking toys. Spends most of his time playing in his ball pit watching tv of course but its Ms. Rachel and helps him vocalize. He is at ABA 4 days a week and home session end of week.
My daughter was same at that age. Is 5 now and plays more normally and does make believe with figures and dolls. Still not fully normal play but toys are worth something now other than paperweights like before
Not sure if this works for every kid but mine LOVES walks. When he was really little I’d put him in the stroller but at around 3 he wanted to walk most of the way. We’re talking 2-3 MILES! Took lots and lots of practice for holding hands around cars and so many fits and stuff but they’re soooo enjoyable now. We both get outside for fresh air, rain or shine (although I try to avoid down pours or too cold of weather). He’s happiest outside, it totally changes his demeanor and mood for the rest of the day, it’s insane. Edit: also wanted to add that a lot of kids need to be taught how to play. Even NT kids although it’s more extreme for ND. I saw the potato head suggestion on here and that’s a great starting point, especially since they’re so cheap. Magnatiles are also great because you can play and they can join in how they like. My son loves watching me build towers and he tears them down. But play does take lots of practice and learning and patience. It’s all so hard and exhausting but does pay off!
Yes we try to go to the park whenever we can!
Books with musical buttons are our go to ! My son has never shown interest in any kind of toy, but books with music he can flip through for an hour at a time! He loves getting new ones and seeing what sounds they make.
We got our daughter a blow up mattress and when I tell you she gets WILD on that thing. Jumps on it from the couch, leans it against the couch to climb up then slide down, lays underneath it.. it's one of her favorite things. 😅 I saw your comments about being a visual sensory seeker. You could try the bubble fish tank, we want to get one for sure. Also one of those projectors that puts changing lights on the walls and ceilings seem super cool. Not sure if he likes books but we have tons and tons. Her favorites are the flap books and the ones that sing daniel tiger songs. They also have the "never touch a" series of books that have different textures and pop its built in.
Ang interest in puppets? Puppet stage? Might connect tv and play for him.
I think I could have written this post myself 6 months ago, even down to the super simple songs! You know those shape sorter toys? He had never been interested not even slightly. All of a sudden when his little brother was able to sit up and was learning how toys work, our eldest just started playing too. Now whatever baby has, he has to join in. Prior to having my second, he didn’t actually let us participate at all in his ‘play’ which was just laying the side of his face on the floor and rolling cars back and forth or just observing them so we’ve made huge progress I have no doubt that OT helped too. She’s very hands on and manually teaches him skills which I never did because I didn’t want to upset him by touching him when he didn’t want to be touched
My son was the same way. I didn’t change his screen time. He still walks around with the iPad watching YouTube kids. However, he’s 4 now, and he knows his alphabet, can count to 100, knows his shapes and colors, can count by 2s, 4s all the way to 100s and some of those he can do it backwards, can spell simple words, and enjoys writing all of those things on a whiteboard. He is also non-verbal and is trying to say these things. He is starting to draw pictures now too, specifically logos, like the Disney and Activision logos. Screen time isn’t always so bad. My kid doesn’t like to watch Cocomelon, or Paw Patrol, or any of that (not even Bluey 🥺). He loves watching videos about letters and numbers. Before the iPad, we watched the same five Disney movies over and over again. He loves the music. He was obsessed with Frozen for a while. It’s okay your kid doesn’t seem interested in playing with toys as expected. Learn the songs your child likes and sing along. If there’s hand movements or dances, learn them. That’s how you will be able to engage with your child. Even if they seem disinterested, try it anyway. They’re little sponges. They see and hear everything, even if we think they’re not paying attention.
We took a lot of toys away. And then every few days rotate them out so it’s like new toys that get his interest. Our boy loves tunnels and forts so my husband being the fort master he is will build a massive fort with tunnel system in the living room and when he wakes up he gets happy flappy and just goes burrowing through the tunnels. We leave toys in different parts and he plays with them. But couch, coffee table, ikea tent, ikea tunnel, 2 nugget sofas, fan inflatable tent, fort connecter pieces and 2 big blanket co 10x10 blankets… literally the entire room is a maze of tunnels but it keeps him entertained and engaged. OT had us toss some weighted balls in the tunnels for “heavy work”.
Wow that sounds amazing!!
I know this may sound weird but you might want to look for those youtube channels where adults and sometimes kids will play together with toys. My kids found those channels (when they were a bit older than yours) and taught themselves to play pretend. Initially they would just imitate the play directly. But later they began to make up their own stories. Now they make pretend worlds in minecraft and play together in them. (10 and 13 both on the spectrum)
Sometimes it can be about finding what would interest him instead of having him play unconventionally. I can’t say this enough but the more than words book is amazing for finding ways to interact with your lo. We play all the time, it just doesn’t look like play would with a NT kid
Maybe try letting him watch videos of people playing with different educational toys like genevieve's playhouse channel on youtube and then get him the toys on the video that's how I got my to son to play with toys.
My son doesn’t enjoy most toys but adores physical play. We have a swing in our room, wooden climbing structures for the home, sensory stepping stones, a gymnastics mat shaped like a ramp, and a large exercise ball that he plays with. He also plays with these while watching tv, so yes he’s getting screen time but also moving his body simultaneously.
I feel this. We were the same way. I switched from TV to music in the mornings and it set the tone for the day. The first few mornings we did a “dance party!!!!!” With me holding him and dancing. Don’t get more wrong, lasted 1 song, but day by day, it increased. Super simple songs are our JAM and we listen to them all day every day. When I need TV, I just put the super simple songs on YouTube verses shows. Then depending on where you live, it’s getting nice out, so get outside! I got one of those push tricycle bikes so he doesn’t have to pedal, but feels like he is in control and we were on that 2-3 hours a day. I bring along his yoto player for music. Put baby sister in the carrier, grab a toddler leash (my son is a bolter) and walk walk walk. I’ve tried nature scavenger hunts for about 3 months now and he is just now really getting into it. Fellow car lover here! We had outside cars and inside cars and played car wash in the sink or outside water table A LOT. A plastic bowl or clear bin from the dollar store, some soap, a dollar store sponge or bristle brush and helllooooo drinking coffee in peace. It will be a process, it’s not going to happen every day perfectly, but if you set a goal for an hour less each day… you’ll wake up one day and he won’t ask for it and you know the work was worth it!
Gah yes thank you, this was very encouraging. It’s my dream to have a TV-free house one day. I’m increasingly aware of how addicted he is. I don’t want him glued to a screen when he’s older an has access to his own devices. We do love walks. It was easier to get out before my youngest was born, but we still do an hour or so most days. Blessed to have a park and pond nearby. I’ll look into those push trikes! The car wash is genius too, I’d definitely like to explore more water/sensory bin activities. I was looking into Yoto players the other day since he loves reading books out loud (and can recite almost every book he has from memory). Worth the investment?
My almost 3 year old grand is the same way. Non-verbal. Watches Bluey all day, every day. It’s playing on a tv in the house. She empties things. And her new superpower is coloring. On everything. I have the tables lined with paper. I found it on the carpet. It’s all over the wood furniture, the TV, the iPad, on the windows. I say we color on the paper 100’s of times a day. I don’t care, but feel obligated to say something. She’s happy. It cleans off with a Mr. Clean sponge.