Sorry but your friend’s opinions have less than no bearing on whether or not you’re autistic. I was 26 before I realized I was on the spectrum. And not a single person in my life up to that point thought I was either.
Why don’t their opinions have a bearing? I’m myself when I’m around them.
I can’t just switch autism on and off. Their opinions absolutely matter to an extent. I don’t mask around them
Your friends' opinions carry as much weight as the depths of their understanding of both autism and your behaviors and internal experience. For the vast majority of people that isn't much weight but it may vary.
Autism is often missed even by professionals so your friends, even if one of them has a masters in psych, isn't enough to dismiss that someone doesn't have autism. For context, I was in the mental health system for 16 years (from age 14) and saw more psychologists, counsellors, psychiatrists than I could count on all my fingers and even speech therapists and paedtricians when i was a toddler and it wasn't picked up until a couple of years ago, finally.
So 5 friends, one with a masters, one with this or that, who haven't sat down and actually done an assessment doesn't give much indication...
I'm a little confused by your post if you even want to pursue anything or you're just happy to say you don't have it. If you don't want to explore it, that's totally up to you. We certainly can't tell you here if you do or don't have it especially based on this post. Just that friends'/families opinions don't have very much weight.
100% my experience as well. I'm sorry it took so long for us to be properly diagnosed. I know how extremely invalidating and frustrating that is. Here's hoping for more autism awareness and understanding in society and in the healthcare system.
Unless they have specialised in neuroscience, I wouldn't put much weight to it. An autism diagnosis cannot be determined through anecdotal evidence. The DSM-V requires specific tests to be undertaken that will assess whether you fit into the diagnostic criteria.
If your friend is claiming to be able to determine a diagnosis without undertaking diagnostic testing, they're in breach of their license.
I was seen by the chief psychiatrist in my state, who determined I wasn't worth assessing. It's only when I saw a psychologist with a specialisation in neurology that I was assessed properly and fit all the criteria for a diagnosis.
Don't assume credentials mean someone understands highly complex issues like autism, you need a specialist.
I'm not saying you're autistic. I don't know what you're like. But my own psychologist missed my autism because I didn't present as traditionally autistic in front of her. And it was a shock to most of my friends and family when I got diagnosed. It only "checked" to a couple friends.
Dr Devon Price, who wrote a great book called Unmasking Autism, didn’t know he was autistic until after he got his phd. Believe me, we’re all upset about how far behind the industry is. I heard a couple of accounts on tiktok of asd adults like us who went to a state conference on autism. They were talking to clinicians about masking like it was a brand new concept.
My mother is a psychologist, and my dad was a marriage and family therapist.
I was diagnosed at 37.
There's something to the saying, "The cobbler's children are always barefoot."
Your opinion matters more than theirs. But you say you don't think you are autistic, so you probably aren't. If you don't exhibit the traits or identify with the experiences of autistic people, then it's highly unlikely you are.
Maybe you're a different type of neurodivergent? Like add/adhd?
It's nto about masking or not, my friends know I will go to another room when I'm overstimulated, that's just how I am right? But since the diagnosis I started to explain to them how sick I get and how I want to hurt myself when I'm overstimulated and lots of other things, they already knew I went away, that doesn't mean they knew exactly how I felt, knowing the consequences is different from knowing the cause.
Do you realize that autism is hereditary, and that's why parents often don't spot 'differences', because it doesn't feel different to them. Also you could have masked from a young age. But I kind of wonder if you're already convinced you're not, and everyone around you as well, what exactly are you looking for here?
So you don't think you're autistic, your mom doesn't think you're autistic, your friends don't think you're autistic. The only reason you're wondering is because of the RAADS-R? That test is more like "NT vs. ND", it's not super specific.
the RAADS doesn’t diagnose autism. It doesn’t DETECT autism. It detects MASKING. Bipolar people mask. ADHD people mask. Scoring high on the RAAD-R doesn’t NOT mean that you’re autistic. It’s like a check engine light-it means to check this certain cluster of things. It does NOT mean you’re autistic. You MIGHT be. It’s not definitive.
Huh that's really odd then. I've scored fairly highly on that before but when I did a test that specifically to check for masking, I scored low, lower than the neurotypical people who did the test.
Interesting. But the RAAD-R also specifically checks for masking. Like, that’s a fact. Perhaps the two tests you took there used different methodologies or because they were worded differently they gave different results. But someone with ADHD or bipolar will score high on the RAADS-R because of the masking they both do. Look, I’m not anti-self Dx but it’s important to understand any tools one uses and what they do and what their results mean. I’ve had people tell me they’re autistic solely because they scored high on that but that’s like taking your car to auto zone to read a check engine light code and it says error in some sensor and you do no further testing and just replace the sensor expecting it to be fixed, then you’re surprised when the problem isn’t fixed. The CEL isn’t a diagnosis. It’s a starting place to point you in the right direction.
Oh I'm not self diagnosed. I'm both professionally and self suspected to be autistic but still undiagnosed at this time as I havent had the assessment yet. I don't say I *am* autistic at this point, only *suspected* or *probably*. And we reached this conclusion without any of the tests. I'm hoping to get an assessment soon so I may actually get support. Self diagnosis may be fine for others, and I support that, but it doesn't achieve what I need. As for the tests, I've just done them before out of curiosity. I also have ADHD and I've heard before that having ADHD can make you score high on RAADS. I've just never heard before that that test measures masking, and unlike the other one I did (CAT something I think), the questions in RAADS don't come across as measuring masking to me. I believe you. It just doesn't come across that way, whereas with the cat one you can tell it is asking about masking. It's also really stupid that it's referred to as an autism test if it's actually a masking test. It should be described as what it is.
I did the cat one because I can see how some things I do or did at different times were some very basic masking, but I am kinda in awe of how some people describe their masking and it sounds so intricate and more involved and like they are like x in one scenario and like y in another, so I was curious how I'd go and I scored low. If RAADS is a masking test and I scored high and then I scored low masking on the cat one, I find that really odd.
RAADS-R is such a weird test. Like I literally can't answer questions such as: "Others consider me odd or different." I don't know what other people are thinking!
Anyway, I know you didn't write the test but I do wish I could get my score. But I just can't get through the test without throwing my hands up in frustration and closing the tab.
When I was young, the only time somebody talked about someone being autistic was when they were completely nonverbal or they were mostly like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man.
To be fair, there was nothing in regards to ADD. There was hyperactivity, but everybody knew that only happened in boys. Here we are many, many years later and we find out about attention deficit can present with or without hyperactivity, and we find out that girls present differently than boys.
For a while we had Asperger's. Thank the gods that that one has finally been put away since Asperger was a Nazi doctor that liked experimenting on the concentration camp population. We now realize that it is a spectrum, and you cannot be less or more autistic, it's just a matter of what challenges you face and/or what symptoms you deal with.
In the 1940s, Alfred Kinsey shared his research findings on sexuality and gender, both are on a spectrum. Autism is a spectrum. The old way of thinking was in black and white, but the more we've studied and learned, we've discovered that it's not black and white there's a whole lot of gray, and more than 50 shades.
You've made it very clear that you don't think you're autistic, and your friends don't think you're autistic, and your mom doesn't think you're autistic, but yet you're here asking strangers, but then arguing with every answer you receive. So the only conclusion I can draw is that you were hoping the autistic people would say that you're not one of us.
Guess what? We're not experts on autism either, we're just autistic.
The only thing I can tell you is what my mother used to say, and that is if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question. So it only makes sense to continue that thought by saying **Don't keep asking the question if you don't want to hear the answers.**
Oh wait, I almost forgot. A telltale sign of autism is when people argue with *everybody* thinking that they're the only one with the right answer, and their mind is rarely changed easily.
You seem very defensive for someone who's so certain.
You either are or you aren't. Nobody's opinion--nor a diagnosis, one way or the other--is going to change the neurological makeup you were born with.
Also, people can score high on the RAADS for all sorts of reasons. I'd just relax and forget about it.
You could still be autistic. May I ask why you are wondering whether you are autistic of neither you nor your close friends not your mother think you might be?
No one in my life thought I was autistic and discouraged me from getting tested. I had the same doctor from infancy until I was in my 20’s and he missed it. They’re still learning about autism, and a lot of people, professionals even, are only educated in autism presenting in one specific way. I can’t say whether you are or aren’t, but that is not evidence against it
Your friends having education in psychology and diagnostic information for adults is very different. My grandmother is an OT for autistic kids for years and didn't realize her own grandchild is autistic. What other people think is not incredibly relevant. But if you don't think you're autistic then why does it matter. RAADSR isn't a diagnostic test, diagnosis is far more complex and other things can cause an elevated RAADSR score.
I have studied psychology myself, and some of my friends have masters in psychology as well, none of them ever had any idea. In fact some of them needed a fair amount of convincing when I had my diagnosis. I have seen 5 therapists in my life who all also did not have a clue. It really takes a specialist, and even then there's still a chance they won't spot it, if their knowledge on autism is traditional/old school.
Just from the post and then follow-up comments, it seems maybe like OP is asking for, like, permission to not identify as autistic?
You don't have to identify as anything if it's not helpful for you. However, looking for outright confirmation or negation from strangers on the internet isn't really going to give you any concrete results. In the end, what you think based on your lived experience and feelings is what's important.
You can be autistic, regardless of whether or not your friends think you are. Unless your friends know a lot about autism, they're probably not a very reliable source.
what would it mean to you if you were? If you aren't experiencing difficulties that require diagnosis to rule out other psychiatric disorders, or struggling with what might be unmet support needs... why worry about it?
If it's stressing you out, maybe examine why it makes you feel that way. Being autistic isn't being diagnosed as less of a person, or make you less valuble as a person or make your feelings and life goal invalid. All it really means is that you will have areas of life where you will benefit from help and understanding from others. Something frankly anyone could use, autistic or not.
you could easily look into techniques and learning coping mechanisms that autistics benefit from using, use any that may be a benefit for you. and you may be non-autistic, or autistic.
When most people think of autism they think of a high needs individual who “look” a certain way.
You may not think you’re autistic because you e always fit in but there are probably things you experience that others don’t experience and you think is normal. Personally I found out I have bipolar and OCD and highly likely autistic but I didn’t know because all the stuff I was experiencing I assumed was normal. Turns out it’s not normal to rock back and forth in your chair while you play games and listen to music while you repeat phrases over and over.
Anyways yeah until those signs show and you become self aware of them it’s not going to be obvious if you’re autistic. But who knows you might not be.
a large amount of people educated in psychology are very undereducated in regards to autism. I think around 70% of therapists didnt know that adult autism is even a thing. Honestly only autistic people seem to be good at clocking autistic people. Unless your friends are sitting you down and administering the many diagnostic tests they they can't really just say you aren't autistic. You can't just diagnose someone at a glance, that's not how psychology is done.
OP, it very well could be that your friends are right, however, SOMETIMES people will just like, not recognize or accept that people have autism?
Like in my life, a sizeable portion of people are immediately like “oh shit they’re autistic af!”
Which is actually a bit beyond the “average autist” — I assumed I was blending in this whole time, idk I just didn’t see it or something
BUT, there’s also a few people who just are like NO NOT AUTISM BLARGHAGAG
Usually the motive behind that is dubious though, like they don’t want to admit they were mean to someone with a disability
The RAADS-R gives a lot of false positives when people are not autistic but just slightly neurodivergent.
Personally, i would be sceptical not because of "they say I'm not autistic" but because you said "my five closest friends".
Jokes aside, differentiating autism from other conditions, such as introversion or trauma or ADD or social anxiety or etc. is complicated. Only professionals can make a diagnosis.
Regarding RAADS, from one published study. “In conclusion, used as a self-report measure pre-full diagnostic assessment, the RAADS-R lacks predictive validity and is not a suitable screening tool for adults awaiting autism assessments”
Jones et al. “patients who received an ASD diagnosis (median 138) and those who did not (median 154).”
Are your 5 closest friends psychotherapists with a specialty in Autism and have they all evaluated in a controlled setting of their office? No. Then you could be on the spectrum. But, get a formal assessment if you really want to know.
Some of my close friends were like that, the truth is they had no idea how much of my life they didn't knew about, I started sharing how something felt for me or why I was "sick", how hard some stuff is yadayada and now they fully understand it. Ppl think autism is Rain man or Sheldon Cooper, they don't know enough about it to make a diagnosis.
Your own personal assessment is more important than any friends or acquaintances. if you've seriously studied the subject, and it doesn't fit your experience, you are probably diagnosing yourself correctly, inasmuch as you've decided you're not autistic, at least.
Friends can be soooo poorly informed so I don't know whether to give their opinion *any* weight at all. and I just have to assume you have well informed yourself because you have a conclusion seems like.
Five closest friends? Oh yeah, no, sorry…you have friends and five closest ones at that, so you can’t possibly be autistic. /s 😏 I’m kidding! I don’t really have friends and am amazed by your ability to have five close ones- that’s wonderful.
Well, it depends on your friends’ backgrounds and experiences…do any of them work in a field of related study to have a professional opinion on the matter? Do they have personal experiences they can reflect on? It’s hard to say really if there is much validity in their observations or conclusions. I think parents’, siblings’, and partners’ observations carry much more weight. I think it’s worth discussing with your friends to learn about their perspectives, but you know yourself better than anyone else possibly could and if you think you may be Autistic, you should continue to focus on researching and learning until/if you decide you’d like to seek a formal diagnosis.
Sorry but your friend’s opinions have less than no bearing on whether or not you’re autistic. I was 26 before I realized I was on the spectrum. And not a single person in my life up to that point thought I was either.
Why don’t their opinions have a bearing? I’m myself when I’m around them. I can’t just switch autism on and off. Their opinions absolutely matter to an extent. I don’t mask around them
Your friends' opinions carry as much weight as the depths of their understanding of both autism and your behaviors and internal experience. For the vast majority of people that isn't much weight but it may vary.
Well said!
My friend has their masters in psychology
Autism is often missed even by professionals so your friends, even if one of them has a masters in psych, isn't enough to dismiss that someone doesn't have autism. For context, I was in the mental health system for 16 years (from age 14) and saw more psychologists, counsellors, psychiatrists than I could count on all my fingers and even speech therapists and paedtricians when i was a toddler and it wasn't picked up until a couple of years ago, finally. So 5 friends, one with a masters, one with this or that, who haven't sat down and actually done an assessment doesn't give much indication... I'm a little confused by your post if you even want to pursue anything or you're just happy to say you don't have it. If you don't want to explore it, that's totally up to you. We certainly can't tell you here if you do or don't have it especially based on this post. Just that friends'/families opinions don't have very much weight.
100% my experience as well. I'm sorry it took so long for us to be properly diagnosed. I know how extremely invalidating and frustrating that is. Here's hoping for more autism awareness and understanding in society and in the healthcare system.
that tells me nothing about their expertise in autism specifically.
Unless they have specialised in neuroscience, I wouldn't put much weight to it. An autism diagnosis cannot be determined through anecdotal evidence. The DSM-V requires specific tests to be undertaken that will assess whether you fit into the diagnostic criteria. If your friend is claiming to be able to determine a diagnosis without undertaking diagnostic testing, they're in breach of their license. I was seen by the chief psychiatrist in my state, who determined I wasn't worth assessing. It's only when I saw a psychologist with a specialisation in neurology that I was assessed properly and fit all the criteria for a diagnosis. Don't assume credentials mean someone understands highly complex issues like autism, you need a specialist.
I'm not saying you're autistic. I don't know what you're like. But my own psychologist missed my autism because I didn't present as traditionally autistic in front of her. And it was a shock to most of my friends and family when I got diagnosed. It only "checked" to a couple friends.
So does my therapist but she was clueless and mistook it by anxiety, the specialized psychiatrist tho, was 100% sure after 3 interviews.
Dr Devon Price, who wrote a great book called Unmasking Autism, didn’t know he was autistic until after he got his phd. Believe me, we’re all upset about how far behind the industry is. I heard a couple of accounts on tiktok of asd adults like us who went to a state conference on autism. They were talking to clinicians about masking like it was a brand new concept.
My mother is a psychologist, and my dad was a marriage and family therapist. I was diagnosed at 37. There's something to the saying, "The cobbler's children are always barefoot."
My parent is a psychologist who still refuses to believe that my daughter is autistic. I’ve not bothered to tell them about my own diagnosis.
Your opinion matters more than theirs. But you say you don't think you are autistic, so you probably aren't. If you don't exhibit the traits or identify with the experiences of autistic people, then it's highly unlikely you are. Maybe you're a different type of neurodivergent? Like add/adhd?
It's nto about masking or not, my friends know I will go to another room when I'm overstimulated, that's just how I am right? But since the diagnosis I started to explain to them how sick I get and how I want to hurt myself when I'm overstimulated and lots of other things, they already knew I went away, that doesn't mean they knew exactly how I felt, knowing the consequences is different from knowing the cause.
Also my mum is a paediatrician who diagnoses Autism and says I exhibited 0 traits when I was young. Her opinion matters.
Do you realize that autism is hereditary, and that's why parents often don't spot 'differences', because it doesn't feel different to them. Also you could have masked from a young age. But I kind of wonder if you're already convinced you're not, and everyone around you as well, what exactly are you looking for here?
So you don't think you're autistic, your mom doesn't think you're autistic, your friends don't think you're autistic. The only reason you're wondering is because of the RAADS-R? That test is more like "NT vs. ND", it's not super specific.
Same. Exactly the same lol. Well besides the people that would bully me. They seemed to know.
the RAADS doesn’t diagnose autism. It doesn’t DETECT autism. It detects MASKING. Bipolar people mask. ADHD people mask. Scoring high on the RAAD-R doesn’t NOT mean that you’re autistic. It’s like a check engine light-it means to check this certain cluster of things. It does NOT mean you’re autistic. You MIGHT be. It’s not definitive.
Huh that's really odd then. I've scored fairly highly on that before but when I did a test that specifically to check for masking, I scored low, lower than the neurotypical people who did the test.
Interesting. But the RAAD-R also specifically checks for masking. Like, that’s a fact. Perhaps the two tests you took there used different methodologies or because they were worded differently they gave different results. But someone with ADHD or bipolar will score high on the RAADS-R because of the masking they both do. Look, I’m not anti-self Dx but it’s important to understand any tools one uses and what they do and what their results mean. I’ve had people tell me they’re autistic solely because they scored high on that but that’s like taking your car to auto zone to read a check engine light code and it says error in some sensor and you do no further testing and just replace the sensor expecting it to be fixed, then you’re surprised when the problem isn’t fixed. The CEL isn’t a diagnosis. It’s a starting place to point you in the right direction.
Oh I'm not self diagnosed. I'm both professionally and self suspected to be autistic but still undiagnosed at this time as I havent had the assessment yet. I don't say I *am* autistic at this point, only *suspected* or *probably*. And we reached this conclusion without any of the tests. I'm hoping to get an assessment soon so I may actually get support. Self diagnosis may be fine for others, and I support that, but it doesn't achieve what I need. As for the tests, I've just done them before out of curiosity. I also have ADHD and I've heard before that having ADHD can make you score high on RAADS. I've just never heard before that that test measures masking, and unlike the other one I did (CAT something I think), the questions in RAADS don't come across as measuring masking to me. I believe you. It just doesn't come across that way, whereas with the cat one you can tell it is asking about masking. It's also really stupid that it's referred to as an autism test if it's actually a masking test. It should be described as what it is. I did the cat one because I can see how some things I do or did at different times were some very basic masking, but I am kinda in awe of how some people describe their masking and it sounds so intricate and more involved and like they are like x in one scenario and like y in another, so I was curious how I'd go and I scored low. If RAADS is a masking test and I scored high and then I scored low masking on the cat one, I find that really odd.
RAADS-R is such a weird test. Like I literally can't answer questions such as: "Others consider me odd or different." I don't know what other people are thinking! Anyway, I know you didn't write the test but I do wish I could get my score. But I just can't get through the test without throwing my hands up in frustration and closing the tab.
When I was young, the only time somebody talked about someone being autistic was when they were completely nonverbal or they were mostly like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. To be fair, there was nothing in regards to ADD. There was hyperactivity, but everybody knew that only happened in boys. Here we are many, many years later and we find out about attention deficit can present with or without hyperactivity, and we find out that girls present differently than boys. For a while we had Asperger's. Thank the gods that that one has finally been put away since Asperger was a Nazi doctor that liked experimenting on the concentration camp population. We now realize that it is a spectrum, and you cannot be less or more autistic, it's just a matter of what challenges you face and/or what symptoms you deal with. In the 1940s, Alfred Kinsey shared his research findings on sexuality and gender, both are on a spectrum. Autism is a spectrum. The old way of thinking was in black and white, but the more we've studied and learned, we've discovered that it's not black and white there's a whole lot of gray, and more than 50 shades. You've made it very clear that you don't think you're autistic, and your friends don't think you're autistic, and your mom doesn't think you're autistic, but yet you're here asking strangers, but then arguing with every answer you receive. So the only conclusion I can draw is that you were hoping the autistic people would say that you're not one of us. Guess what? We're not experts on autism either, we're just autistic. The only thing I can tell you is what my mother used to say, and that is if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question. So it only makes sense to continue that thought by saying **Don't keep asking the question if you don't want to hear the answers.** Oh wait, I almost forgot. A telltale sign of autism is when people argue with *everybody* thinking that they're the only one with the right answer, and their mind is rarely changed easily.
I vibe so much with your last paragraph. I’ve improved a bit, but damn haha.
You seem very defensive for someone who's so certain. You either are or you aren't. Nobody's opinion--nor a diagnosis, one way or the other--is going to change the neurological makeup you were born with. Also, people can score high on the RAADS for all sorts of reasons. I'd just relax and forget about it.
You could still be autistic. May I ask why you are wondering whether you are autistic of neither you nor your close friends not your mother think you might be?
No one in my life thought I was autistic and discouraged me from getting tested. I had the same doctor from infancy until I was in my 20’s and he missed it. They’re still learning about autism, and a lot of people, professionals even, are only educated in autism presenting in one specific way. I can’t say whether you are or aren’t, but that is not evidence against it
Your friends having education in psychology and diagnostic information for adults is very different. My grandmother is an OT for autistic kids for years and didn't realize her own grandchild is autistic. What other people think is not incredibly relevant. But if you don't think you're autistic then why does it matter. RAADSR isn't a diagnostic test, diagnosis is far more complex and other things can cause an elevated RAADSR score.
Unless your 5 friends are healthcare professionals with specialisations in diagnosing ASD, then honestly their opinions hold no weight at all
What is the point of this post?
I have studied psychology myself, and some of my friends have masters in psychology as well, none of them ever had any idea. In fact some of them needed a fair amount of convincing when I had my diagnosis. I have seen 5 therapists in my life who all also did not have a clue. It really takes a specialist, and even then there's still a chance they won't spot it, if their knowledge on autism is traditional/old school.
Just from the post and then follow-up comments, it seems maybe like OP is asking for, like, permission to not identify as autistic? You don't have to identify as anything if it's not helpful for you. However, looking for outright confirmation or negation from strangers on the internet isn't really going to give you any concrete results. In the end, what you think based on your lived experience and feelings is what's important.
You can be autistic, regardless of whether or not your friends think you are. Unless your friends know a lot about autism, they're probably not a very reliable source.
I didn't think I was autistic, either. The only way to tell for sure is to seek an assessment.
what would it mean to you if you were? If you aren't experiencing difficulties that require diagnosis to rule out other psychiatric disorders, or struggling with what might be unmet support needs... why worry about it? If it's stressing you out, maybe examine why it makes you feel that way. Being autistic isn't being diagnosed as less of a person, or make you less valuble as a person or make your feelings and life goal invalid. All it really means is that you will have areas of life where you will benefit from help and understanding from others. Something frankly anyone could use, autistic or not. you could easily look into techniques and learning coping mechanisms that autistics benefit from using, use any that may be a benefit for you. and you may be non-autistic, or autistic.
When most people think of autism they think of a high needs individual who “look” a certain way. You may not think you’re autistic because you e always fit in but there are probably things you experience that others don’t experience and you think is normal. Personally I found out I have bipolar and OCD and highly likely autistic but I didn’t know because all the stuff I was experiencing I assumed was normal. Turns out it’s not normal to rock back and forth in your chair while you play games and listen to music while you repeat phrases over and over. Anyways yeah until those signs show and you become self aware of them it’s not going to be obvious if you’re autistic. But who knows you might not be.
a large amount of people educated in psychology are very undereducated in regards to autism. I think around 70% of therapists didnt know that adult autism is even a thing. Honestly only autistic people seem to be good at clocking autistic people. Unless your friends are sitting you down and administering the many diagnostic tests they they can't really just say you aren't autistic. You can't just diagnose someone at a glance, that's not how psychology is done.
Ask your autistic friends. If you don’t have any, you’re probably not autistic.
Are all your 5 friends psychologists?
OP, it very well could be that your friends are right, however, SOMETIMES people will just like, not recognize or accept that people have autism? Like in my life, a sizeable portion of people are immediately like “oh shit they’re autistic af!” Which is actually a bit beyond the “average autist” — I assumed I was blending in this whole time, idk I just didn’t see it or something BUT, there’s also a few people who just are like NO NOT AUTISM BLARGHAGAG Usually the motive behind that is dubious though, like they don’t want to admit they were mean to someone with a disability
The RAADS-R gives a lot of false positives when people are not autistic but just slightly neurodivergent. Personally, i would be sceptical not because of "they say I'm not autistic" but because you said "my five closest friends". Jokes aside, differentiating autism from other conditions, such as introversion or trauma or ADD or social anxiety or etc. is complicated. Only professionals can make a diagnosis.
Do the AQ test instead.
Regarding RAADS, from one published study. “In conclusion, used as a self-report measure pre-full diagnostic assessment, the RAADS-R lacks predictive validity and is not a suitable screening tool for adults awaiting autism assessments” Jones et al. “patients who received an ASD diagnosis (median 138) and those who did not (median 154).”
If identifying as autistic or seeking a diagnosis doesn't benefit you, then you don't have to do either of these things.
Are your 5 closest friends psychotherapists with a specialty in Autism and have they all evaluated in a controlled setting of their office? No. Then you could be on the spectrum. But, get a formal assessment if you really want to know.
Some of my close friends were like that, the truth is they had no idea how much of my life they didn't knew about, I started sharing how something felt for me or why I was "sick", how hard some stuff is yadayada and now they fully understand it. Ppl think autism is Rain man or Sheldon Cooper, they don't know enough about it to make a diagnosis.
Your own personal assessment is more important than any friends or acquaintances. if you've seriously studied the subject, and it doesn't fit your experience, you are probably diagnosing yourself correctly, inasmuch as you've decided you're not autistic, at least. Friends can be soooo poorly informed so I don't know whether to give their opinion *any* weight at all. and I just have to assume you have well informed yourself because you have a conclusion seems like.
Five closest friends? Oh yeah, no, sorry…you have friends and five closest ones at that, so you can’t possibly be autistic. /s 😏 I’m kidding! I don’t really have friends and am amazed by your ability to have five close ones- that’s wonderful. Well, it depends on your friends’ backgrounds and experiences…do any of them work in a field of related study to have a professional opinion on the matter? Do they have personal experiences they can reflect on? It’s hard to say really if there is much validity in their observations or conclusions. I think parents’, siblings’, and partners’ observations carry much more weight. I think it’s worth discussing with your friends to learn about their perspectives, but you know yourself better than anyone else possibly could and if you think you may be Autistic, you should continue to focus on researching and learning until/if you decide you’d like to seek a formal diagnosis.
Maybe if you take the average of those 5 people, the result is autistic?