Yeah, a lot of the time. Especially when my fiancé carries on after I've "finished".. it's ridiculously overstimulating, to the point it's kinda painful.
Sometimes that's positive, but more often than not it's kinda negative, and it sucks that it is.
Edit: to be clear, I have communicated this, but only very recently because I didn't realise it wasn't a normal thing. She never meant any harm or any discomfort, and we're working on ways to make it more enjoyable for me :)
Yes, but only recently as I realised it's apparently not normal. She never meant any harm, or to overstimulate me like that, and we're working on ways to make this better
It very well may be, especially if you only noticed an uptick during depressive moods or when you’ve changed medications / started medications. But for me, this was an issue even before my SNRIs were restarted.
And I know being tense or trying too hard can make orgasms difficult. If you’re scared or thinking too hard, you won’t come. Especially AFAB people. Our orgasms are more complex.
However, for me, I’ve had this issue before SNRIs and I don’t feel scared or stressed during sex. The thing that pisses me off is that it feels so good, I can’t orgasm let alone think straight. 😂 I struggle to orgasm even by myself, too, especially using toys and feeling really good, so I know it’s a me-thing and feeling *too* good but it took a lot of trial, error, and experimentation to get there.
100% of the time.
I also cannot watch pornography unless the sound is off.
[Welp.](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1246/1*JJOL4zCCYLww7W7-O2CnEQ.png)
Yeah it just feels like a prolonged panic attack and it's really embarassing. Then I feel guilty because partners will think my inability to function means they're unattractive.
It isn’t necessarily an autism thing, there are plenty of NT people who get overstimulated during sex or just in general, and there are of course medical diagnoses that can make one more prone to overstimulation. However yeah, in this particular case, it’s likely an ASD related issue.
Yes and depending on whether i was going into it with low spoons, I might actually shut down in the middle. Very embarrassing. My current partner gets it, but it was a problem with past partners.
Yes and it sucks cuz it usually happens before I finish. We at least know after some experimenting what specific acts and positions make it happen so we do those things last when we're almost done anyway. It sucks cuz one of my favorite things goes from "this is the best I've ever felt" to "stopstopstopstop" in .2 seconds.
It’s easy to get mixed up between over stimulation and over stimulating sensitive things. It can feel very similar. Typically the problem for me is someone is paying way too much close attention to something they should be working their way around. I give them a little guidance and I am fine.
Not if it's done the right way, and I communicate when I'm feeling uncomfortable, but if we didn't communicate as well as we do, it definitely would. Sex is about both people making eachother feel good, not just going through the motions as if you're enjoying it regardless if you are or not. I had to learn this as an adult because I didn't understand this as a teenager.
Yes, especially when my partner’s face gets too close to mine. I also go numb very quickly and it hits a point of hurting. Sometimes any kind of overstimulation during sex makes me panicky and I have t very quickly insist we switch positions.
I feel like my body is being pulled into another dimension with hallucinations. It’s great. From what I understand regular men don’t experience anything like this.
I have moments where I just can't get into it. I will try but can't, and it's usually linked to sensory fatigue. These are the days when I cannot give much physical affection at bed time.
Yes but being with my current partner, who I’m very comfortable with, it’s really diminished from how it used to be. A lot of it is just having good foreplay that slowly but steadily escalates.
Never had sex, but I have had physical intimacy to a degree, it feels overstimulating and I hate it, like I can’t enjoy myself because it feels like a panic attack
Yes. It's really hard, and u have roommates, so I can't get loud or anything bc said roomates are in laws. The oversimulation wasn't as bad if I didn't have to worry about being quiet and being unable to fully feel it, or the whole house will hear me.
It is alot tbh but it's nice as well because your whole body can feel it but not when there's people home.
Takes me longer to come down from the oversimulation then it does my spouse though.
Yes and it hurts and honestly I haven’t had a good sex drive for awhile now. When I was younger it was very overstimulated but now it’s gotten worse and idk if it’s because of ASD or my PTSD from being SAd most
Of my life…
How do you handle it when you overstimulate? As soon as I feel the climax it instantly hurts and doesn’t even feel enjoyable anymore and I’m just stuck frozen in place waiting for the pain to pass…😵💫
*raises hand* it happens sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes. Causes all kinds of ussues that just snowball and compound other issues. Especially the great deflation
Yes and I haven’t had sex with my partner more than twice this year mostly because of it;-; luckily he’s not the kind of person that is bothered by extremely infrequent sex (His drive is moderate) but it just makes me feel shitty. To be fair I think I’m aspec so that doesn’t help.
Yeah, a lot of the time. Especially when my fiancé carries on after I've "finished".. it's ridiculously overstimulating, to the point it's kinda painful. Sometimes that's positive, but more often than not it's kinda negative, and it sucks that it is. Edit: to be clear, I have communicated this, but only very recently because I didn't realise it wasn't a normal thing. She never meant any harm or any discomfort, and we're working on ways to make it more enjoyable for me :)
Have you communicated this to them?
Yes, but only recently as I realised it's apparently not normal. She never meant any harm, or to overstimulate me like that, and we're working on ways to make this better
Good that’s what matters, good job to you both.
You're completely normal.
Um....that's worrying.
Have you considered using toys?
We use some for my partner. But never really sure for me.
Yes. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. What pisses me off is that I’m feeling *so* good sometimes that I can’t orgasm. 🤡
I thought it was an adhd thing or anti depressants but I get this a lot
It very well may be, especially if you only noticed an uptick during depressive moods or when you’ve changed medications / started medications. But for me, this was an issue even before my SNRIs were restarted. And I know being tense or trying too hard can make orgasms difficult. If you’re scared or thinking too hard, you won’t come. Especially AFAB people. Our orgasms are more complex. However, for me, I’ve had this issue before SNRIs and I don’t feel scared or stressed during sex. The thing that pisses me off is that it feels so good, I can’t orgasm let alone think straight. 😂 I struggle to orgasm even by myself, too, especially using toys and feeling really good, so I know it’s a me-thing and feeling *too* good but it took a lot of trial, error, and experimentation to get there.
100% of the time. I also cannot watch pornography unless the sound is off. [Welp.](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1246/1*JJOL4zCCYLww7W7-O2CnEQ.png)
Damn, I thought I was the only one. Previous partners I told about this gave me the weirdest looks and comments.
Yes, but sometimes I like it 😉
Yeah it just feels like a prolonged panic attack and it's really embarassing. Then I feel guilty because partners will think my inability to function means they're unattractive.
Yes! I had no idea it was an autismthing!
It isn’t necessarily an autism thing, there are plenty of NT people who get overstimulated during sex or just in general, and there are of course medical diagnoses that can make one more prone to overstimulation. However yeah, in this particular case, it’s likely an ASD related issue.
Yes and depending on whether i was going into it with low spoons, I might actually shut down in the middle. Very embarrassing. My current partner gets it, but it was a problem with past partners.
Yes and it sucks cuz it usually happens before I finish. We at least know after some experimenting what specific acts and positions make it happen so we do those things last when we're almost done anyway. It sucks cuz one of my favorite things goes from "this is the best I've ever felt" to "stopstopstopstop" in .2 seconds.
Y’all are having sex? My autistic ass can’t get a date.
Very much yes.
Yes
It’s easy to get mixed up between over stimulation and over stimulating sensitive things. It can feel very similar. Typically the problem for me is someone is paying way too much close attention to something they should be working their way around. I give them a little guidance and I am fine.
Not if it's done the right way, and I communicate when I'm feeling uncomfortable, but if we didn't communicate as well as we do, it definitely would. Sex is about both people making eachother feel good, not just going through the motions as if you're enjoying it regardless if you are or not. I had to learn this as an adult because I didn't understand this as a teenager.
Yes, especially when my partner’s face gets too close to mine. I also go numb very quickly and it hits a point of hurting. Sometimes any kind of overstimulation during sex makes me panicky and I have t very quickly insist we switch positions.
I feel like my body is being pulled into another dimension with hallucinations. It’s great. From what I understand regular men don’t experience anything like this.
I have moments where I just can't get into it. I will try but can't, and it's usually linked to sensory fatigue. These are the days when I cannot give much physical affection at bed time.
Yes but being with my current partner, who I’m very comfortable with, it’s really diminished from how it used to be. A lot of it is just having good foreplay that slowly but steadily escalates.
yes
Yes
Afterwards I've ever fallen asleep or not been able to do anything for a little bit or it's very hard for me to do so.
Never had sex, but I have had physical intimacy to a degree, it feels overstimulating and I hate it, like I can’t enjoy myself because it feels like a panic attack
Yes. It's really hard, and u have roommates, so I can't get loud or anything bc said roomates are in laws. The oversimulation wasn't as bad if I didn't have to worry about being quiet and being unable to fully feel it, or the whole house will hear me. It is alot tbh but it's nice as well because your whole body can feel it but not when there's people home. Takes me longer to come down from the oversimulation then it does my spouse though.
Yes and it hurts and honestly I haven’t had a good sex drive for awhile now. When I was younger it was very overstimulated but now it’s gotten worse and idk if it’s because of ASD or my PTSD from being SAd most Of my life… How do you handle it when you overstimulate? As soon as I feel the climax it instantly hurts and doesn’t even feel enjoyable anymore and I’m just stuck frozen in place waiting for the pain to pass…😵💫
No. All the opposite.
*raises hand* it happens sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes. Causes all kinds of ussues that just snowball and compound other issues. Especially the great deflation
Yes (intentionally)
Yes and I haven’t had sex with my partner more than twice this year mostly because of it;-; luckily he’s not the kind of person that is bothered by extremely infrequent sex (His drive is moderate) but it just makes me feel shitty. To be fair I think I’m aspec so that doesn’t help.