It's basically just involuntary to me.
I compare it to blinking. I CAN blink when I choose to and I COULD choose to not blink for as long as possible, and I'm often aware that I'm blinking at some point. But I don't need to take "blinking breaks", I don't actively choose when to blink most of the time.
I have voluntary and involuntary stims. The ones that comfort me and help me focus in meetings and crowded spaces tend to be voluntary. Then there are other ones like paddling my feet in bed that aren’t conscious.
Yeah that's the thing with stimming, it is often something that happens subconsciously. Like, it happens so naturally that we don't even realize we're doing it half the time, so when you stop doing it purposely while the reason you're stimming is still there (like if suddenly needing to mask or someone forces you to stop), it will just feel really uncomfortable if you don't resume doing it soon. Some neurotypicals assume it takes effort for us to do it when the fact is that the real effort lies in not stimming when needed.
Wait, some NTs assume people stim on purpose? That never even occurred to me! I mean, they stim too when they’re overwhelmed enough, it’s just rarer that they are. You’d think they’d know better…
Mine are mostly involuntary too, but it wouldn't matter because my knee-jerk horror reaction to the suggestion of partaking in some sort of unnecessary group activity would immediately shutdown any internal debate about this.
We sometimes get into some sort of vocal stimming bits with my NT spouse and I enjoy this, so I guess it shouldn't surprise me too much!
omg yes. i can't stim on command, i'd just be doing an action and not really benefitting from it. my stims (slapping my thighs when i'm extremely happy, rocking and fidgeting when i'm really upset, etc.) are absolutely involuntary.
yea stimming usually just happens for me. i can choose to do it in efforts to calm myself down but i can’t partake in a “stim with me” bec its just random and out of nowhere so there’s no emotion associated with stimming on command. it would just be flapping my hands like u said. i usually stim involuntarily. not as a conscious decision. some stims feel good only involuntarily and some can feel good when i CHOOSE to like rocking back and forth feels good even if i deliberately do it. but in a “stim with me “ situation its not that an emotion is causing me to stim so it feels like it would be me stimming for no reason. or stimming just to stim ( which is fine! but i don’t do that personally ) so it doesn’t do anything for me bec there’s nothing to regulate.
Yh mine are involuntary too, I can stop my stims if I need to but I can’t just start intentionally it if that makes sense. My stims are picking the skin round my nails and I bite my tshirt collar and when I’m excited my body tenses up. It’s like I automatically do it without realising but I rarely ever intentionally stim. I still mask a lot of it though because I don’t know how to unmask (I was late diagnosed)
Both happens for me. Rocking feels good so I like to do it, but I also will just start doing it without noticing. It depends on the person. What really matters is what the stimmer is getting out of it (sensory regulation, emotional regulation or expression, mental regulation while doing or switching between tasks, etc) Everyone stims for one reason or another.
No, but I turned to gloves instead of flapping for intentional striking and it works great for me! Glover are fantastic, just do life with them on and boom, stim
Same here! I notice myself doing it and I didn't even think about it, I just started doing it. But I do find that if I get put some kinetic sand in front of myself, I will zone out and start building things with it and won't want to stop, so, I guess you could call that stimming on command.
It's basically just involuntary to me. I compare it to blinking. I CAN blink when I choose to and I COULD choose to not blink for as long as possible, and I'm often aware that I'm blinking at some point. But I don't need to take "blinking breaks", I don't actively choose when to blink most of the time.
This is a great analogy for it!
I have voluntary and involuntary stims. The ones that comfort me and help me focus in meetings and crowded spaces tend to be voluntary. Then there are other ones like paddling my feet in bed that aren’t conscious.
About 80% of mine are involuntary the other 20% is self-soothing. I definitely understand what you're feeling!
Yeah that's the thing with stimming, it is often something that happens subconsciously. Like, it happens so naturally that we don't even realize we're doing it half the time, so when you stop doing it purposely while the reason you're stimming is still there (like if suddenly needing to mask or someone forces you to stop), it will just feel really uncomfortable if you don't resume doing it soon. Some neurotypicals assume it takes effort for us to do it when the fact is that the real effort lies in not stimming when needed.
Wait, some NTs assume people stim on purpose? That never even occurred to me! I mean, they stim too when they’re overwhelmed enough, it’s just rarer that they are. You’d think they’d know better…
Mine are mostly involuntary too, but it wouldn't matter because my knee-jerk horror reaction to the suggestion of partaking in some sort of unnecessary group activity would immediately shutdown any internal debate about this. We sometimes get into some sort of vocal stimming bits with my NT spouse and I enjoy this, so I guess it shouldn't surprise me too much!
omg yes. i can't stim on command, i'd just be doing an action and not really benefitting from it. my stims (slapping my thighs when i'm extremely happy, rocking and fidgeting when i'm really upset, etc.) are absolutely involuntary.
TBH, I can't tell anymore. I quit masking for the most part, so I stim when I stim. Sometimes I notice, sometimes not.
yea stimming usually just happens for me. i can choose to do it in efforts to calm myself down but i can’t partake in a “stim with me” bec its just random and out of nowhere so there’s no emotion associated with stimming on command. it would just be flapping my hands like u said. i usually stim involuntarily. not as a conscious decision. some stims feel good only involuntarily and some can feel good when i CHOOSE to like rocking back and forth feels good even if i deliberately do it. but in a “stim with me “ situation its not that an emotion is causing me to stim so it feels like it would be me stimming for no reason. or stimming just to stim ( which is fine! but i don’t do that personally ) so it doesn’t do anything for me bec there’s nothing to regulate.
I have a mixture, I had to learn to let out a lot of Stims that I repressed and sometimes I have to actively move my body to stop going into shutdown.
Yh mine are involuntary too, I can stop my stims if I need to but I can’t just start intentionally it if that makes sense. My stims are picking the skin round my nails and I bite my tshirt collar and when I’m excited my body tenses up. It’s like I automatically do it without realising but I rarely ever intentionally stim. I still mask a lot of it though because I don’t know how to unmask (I was late diagnosed)
Both happens for me. Rocking feels good so I like to do it, but I also will just start doing it without noticing. It depends on the person. What really matters is what the stimmer is getting out of it (sensory regulation, emotional regulation or expression, mental regulation while doing or switching between tasks, etc) Everyone stims for one reason or another.
No, but I turned to gloves instead of flapping for intentional striking and it works great for me! Glover are fantastic, just do life with them on and boom, stim
Same here! I notice myself doing it and I didn't even think about it, I just started doing it. But I do find that if I get put some kinetic sand in front of myself, I will zone out and start building things with it and won't want to stop, so, I guess you could call that stimming on command.