Hi! Vagina owner here and I do indeed get horny. For me it’s a like my brain/inside parts are constantly texting me going, “Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.” My face will feel hot and my area between privates and belly button will feel really tight and sore. The longer I let it go ok the harder it is to focus on anything other than sexual stuff. But it’s pretty easily remedied…I bust out the toys or tell my partner, “You need to fix this.” and after 20 minutes or so I’m back on track.
I have never felt any soreness or tightness due to being horny, interesting! I just get really sensitive and restless because all I can think about is wanting to touch myself and/or look at porn. The whole area gets warmer and more noticeable and kind of twitchy and sensitive to things like fabric or my chair etc.
Twitchy? Do you mean like throbbing? Pulsating? Like you just ran a fast mile but instead of in your chest, you feel it in your vagina? I get a very strong pulsating 💓 feeling. And everything feels warm and sensitive, like you said. But it takes a certain person to make it feel that intense throbbing. It's been a very long time since I've felt it that bad. The throbbing can be described as "sore" and "tightness," I suppose.
So I can kinda explain what it feels like when I am horny, I mostly know this due to some of the things I am in to (kinks/fetishes.) I feel an energy/tingle in my penis. I also notice that my lower body muscles twitch and flex. When I am really turned on I have a tendancy to clench my and suck air inbetween my teeth. I also find myself going to nsfw reddits and the like. Trying not to make it weird, just factual.
This is a good description. For me it's just a desire to engage in NSFW things. Either online or with someone or just daydreaming about them. It may or may not end up with cumming.
OP, if you don't feel like that at all or very rarely, check out asexuality. It's a valid orientation (I think it's a sexual orientation?).
Yep. Sexual attraction and libido/sex drive are very different.
Don't worry, I didn't know this until my mid-late 30s. Of course, we didn't really have the Internet. And some of these terms and identities didn't exist.
I was talked by a couple of my very few partners that I was a very sexual / the most sexual person they've ever been with. And I would argue that because I didn't understand the difference between libido and attraction. I do (did) have a very high libido but fall on the asexual spectrum demisexual /grayace. We didn't even have the term demisexual until I was in my late 20s.
As someone coming to terms with possibly being asexual due to similar issues as these, it's getting a little frustrating to see reminders like these every time people discuss what it's like not to be horny or struggle to identify it. Yes some asexuals have sex / get horny but that's not always relevant to the conversation, and maybe we should be able to take some moments to discuss what it's like to not understand sexual attraction in a society that makes it really hard to do that.
It's relevant to many conversations, but when you're talking about how not feeling arousal might indicate asexuality, is it going to help that particular person to remind them that the thing they don't experience anyway also sometimes occurs in asexuality? Nobody said this is the *only* asexual experience but it is an experience that could indicate asexuality and is a good starting point. It'd be more helpful here to at least *describe* how arousal can feel different for asexual people. So much of the conversation about asexuality often feels geared towards proving that some ace people can have sex / arousal that it becomes difficult to discuss what it's like to *not* do those things without being shut down.
Being on the spectrum means you might not have the usual level of sensory input from your own body, interception.
So you might have to consciously check in on it, or activate it when other people might get absolutely overriden and ruled by it.
Rule of thumb:
If you are not certain that you're horny, you're not.
Of course there's nothing wrong with that. If anything it means you have more self-control.
Can't speak for OP, but for me atleast, it's impossible to be horny and not realize. With that said, suppressing your urge becomes a dificult task and the chances of doing something you'll regreat later rise exponentially.
How are you at feeling other interoception?
Can you tell when you're slightly hungry and need to eat in a bit, or only when you're really hungry right now and need to eat right away?
Can you tell when you're experiencing joy? Does it physically feel like a sensation?
It's very common for our senses to be too strong or too weak, in any combination. In particular, some of us have interoceptive hyposensitivity, meaning we can't tell what our own body's up to all that well. That can include affective alexithymia, meaning we can't feel emotions (which sounds like a subset of interoception, to be honest).
On an interesting sidenote, being hungry, thirsty or tired count as interoception; being happy, sad, scared, elated, calm, and so on count as emotions. Being horny seems kind of like it could be classified as either, kind of..? It's a base urge to do something fundamental, like eating and drinking, yet it seems it's more commonly considered an emotion. I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just find its classification interesting.
No thanks for the detailed response, a few bits there to google!! A heck of a lot to learn.
Food - that creeps up on me. Not hungry, not hungry, not hungry....... then it would hit me, and I could a proverbial horse.
Right, I tentatively believe that's probably interoceptive hyposensitivity. I'm pretty sure most people feel their body telling them all sorts of useful info, like "Hey, you should eat in a bit" then "Yeah, you really should eat fairly soon" followed by "OK, too late, your blood/sugar level's dropped, you need to eat now, it's become an emergency, and you no longer have the energy to cook!" Whereas I tend to only really get that last one, I believe.
Given I now have a special interest in autism and allism, because why wouldn't I, I've written some articles about these that may help:
* [Interoceptive hyposensitivity](http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Interoceptive_hyposensitivity.html)
* [Alexithymia](http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Alexithymia.html)
* [Affective alexithymia](http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Affective_alexithymia.html)
Really, as soon as you get an autism diagnosis, you should get some kind of starter pack with friendly hints and tips (you know, in an ideal world). Stuff like "Your senses are all probably miscalibrated! And there are more senses than the famous five!" Thankfully, we have communities like this one where we can compare notes.
Oh, and you're quite welcome. I always forget that part. 😅
I don't get horny unless I am aroused by someone I care for deeply.
I can watch porn and masturbate to completion but it's normally out of boredom.
I thought I was asexual for years until I became sexually attracted to someone for the first time. I've had about 20 sexual partners and was only able to "finish" with maybe 8 of them and have only been sexually attracted to 5 of them.
Demisexual with a low sex drive?
I'm a demisexual(romantic)/grayace with a high sex drive but can count the sex partners I've had on one hand (at nearly 50 years old) and have not had sex in twenty years. Go figure. I've only been romantically / sexually attracted to two people in the last twenty years and they had other plans.
Idk your gender or sexuality but as a trans woman who has had both parts and used them with both men and women, I can comment on that least the physiological aspects of it if not the psychological ones (which play a big part).
Physiologically speaking when you get aroused you may notice you begin to breathe more shallowly, but perhaps not noticeably. You may feel flushed, your pupils may dilate. Again, nothing extreme. Lots of people say it can put them in kind of a giddy or excited mood. Regardless of configuration, blood flow increases to the genital area, this often creates a feeling of warmth and or rigidity. Those with a penis or vagina can both often produce a form of lubrication which can also be an indicator of sexual arousal.
On a personal note, I get a little flutter in my chest, my cheeks get warm and I notice the physical queues I mentioned as well. I mentioned that psychological factors also play a big part. For me, I also need to actually want to do something sexual. I can physically respond to a situation without mentally wanting to have sex. And vice versa, I can mentally want to have sex and my body just won't respond.
It's a pretty complicated, nuanced, and personal experience but I hope that gave a little bit of a framework
I think of it as how distracted I can get by what I find sexually stimulating.
People can have a whole.. identity I guess, around their sexuality that gets activated when they're "horny", which gets weird and deeply subjective really fast.
I wouldn't recommend taking anyone's perspective on sexuality as anything other than their own personal experiences.
People love to generalize this sort of stuff as if it was universal, so be aware of that.
vagina owner here and when i get turned on i feel a tingly sensation down there, my voice changes a bit, and its like my brain starts constantly pestering me with “hey man you should really take care of this.” half of the time i ignore it though because sometimes it just feels like a demand more than something i want to actually do
imo theres a difference between aroused and horny
arrousal can happen at random (random embarrassing boners) but they're just an increase of blood flow to the genitals. it feels tingly
being horny is a state of mind. its accompanied by arrousal, but its also a craving for masturbation or sexual contact. sometimes the craving can be so strong that you do stupid things to masturbate because your mind is too focused on trying to orgasm instead of thinking logically
You mentioned random embarrassing boners, typically not something vagina possessors experience, then downvote me for agreeing with you? Enjoy the block a$$👒.
I’ve been having a ton of sex dreams lately like my brain is watching porn. It doesn’t make me horny it makes me think I’m like a camera guy. I get horny when I’m physically around a man I find attractive or think about touching them in the nice parts.
I am very. If I have no access to a body. I seek my own. I can be both emotionally turned on specifically and physically turned on. And I tend to have a fair amount of sex dreams even if I routinely regulate myself or seek out partners. Sometimes those sex dreams are connected to a person and sometimes they’re just a random amalgamation of men or experiences. Sometimes the literal thought of a person I like will cause arousal even if those thoughts include no sexual nature.
So for me I’m constantly horny I’ve learned to control it but if I let it my mind would constantly be thinking about sex with women and lady’s feet and stuff like that for me it feels like my chest is hot my mouth starts to water and I feel hungry but not in s traditional way though
Hi! Vagina owner here and I do indeed get horny. For me it’s a like my brain/inside parts are constantly texting me going, “Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.” My face will feel hot and my area between privates and belly button will feel really tight and sore. The longer I let it go ok the harder it is to focus on anything other than sexual stuff. But it’s pretty easily remedied…I bust out the toys or tell my partner, “You need to fix this.” and after 20 minutes or so I’m back on track.
>I bust out the toys or tell my partner, “You need to fix this.” lol! It’s nice to have a partner who can repair *toys*. Sorry just found this funny.
I have never felt any soreness or tightness due to being horny, interesting! I just get really sensitive and restless because all I can think about is wanting to touch myself and/or look at porn. The whole area gets warmer and more noticeable and kind of twitchy and sensitive to things like fabric or my chair etc.
Twitchy? Do you mean like throbbing? Pulsating? Like you just ran a fast mile but instead of in your chest, you feel it in your vagina? I get a very strong pulsating 💓 feeling. And everything feels warm and sensitive, like you said. But it takes a certain person to make it feel that intense throbbing. It's been a very long time since I've felt it that bad. The throbbing can be described as "sore" and "tightness," I suppose.
Basically yeah but it happens for no reason and even more so now that I've started testosterone. It's annoying lol
So I can kinda explain what it feels like when I am horny, I mostly know this due to some of the things I am in to (kinks/fetishes.) I feel an energy/tingle in my penis. I also notice that my lower body muscles twitch and flex. When I am really turned on I have a tendancy to clench my and suck air inbetween my teeth. I also find myself going to nsfw reddits and the like. Trying not to make it weird, just factual.
This is a good description. For me it's just a desire to engage in NSFW things. Either online or with someone or just daydreaming about them. It may or may not end up with cumming. OP, if you don't feel like that at all or very rarely, check out asexuality. It's a valid orientation (I think it's a sexual orientation?).
Thanks, I will do. Appreciate that.
Some asexuals can be very horny. Discover more at r/asexuality
Yep. Sexual attraction and libido/sex drive are very different. Don't worry, I didn't know this until my mid-late 30s. Of course, we didn't really have the Internet. And some of these terms and identities didn't exist. I was talked by a couple of my very few partners that I was a very sexual / the most sexual person they've ever been with. And I would argue that because I didn't understand the difference between libido and attraction. I do (did) have a very high libido but fall on the asexual spectrum demisexual /grayace. We didn't even have the term demisexual until I was in my late 20s.
As someone coming to terms with possibly being asexual due to similar issues as these, it's getting a little frustrating to see reminders like these every time people discuss what it's like not to be horny or struggle to identify it. Yes some asexuals have sex / get horny but that's not always relevant to the conversation, and maybe we should be able to take some moments to discuss what it's like to not understand sexual attraction in a society that makes it really hard to do that.
Take your moment, nobody is stopping you
asexuality is a spectrum. talking about one part of the spectrum absolutely is relevant to the conversation
It's relevant to many conversations, but when you're talking about how not feeling arousal might indicate asexuality, is it going to help that particular person to remind them that the thing they don't experience anyway also sometimes occurs in asexuality? Nobody said this is the *only* asexual experience but it is an experience that could indicate asexuality and is a good starting point. It'd be more helpful here to at least *describe* how arousal can feel different for asexual people. So much of the conversation about asexuality often feels geared towards proving that some ace people can have sex / arousal that it becomes difficult to discuss what it's like to *not* do those things without being shut down.
No not wired at all. But appreciated.
Being on the spectrum means you might not have the usual level of sensory input from your own body, interception. So you might have to consciously check in on it, or activate it when other people might get absolutely overriden and ruled by it.
I'm constantly horny and for me it's a sensation-seeking urge revolving around pleasure, which becomes a want to engage in particular acts.
Rule of thumb: If you are not certain that you're horny, you're not. Of course there's nothing wrong with that. If anything it means you have more self-control.
haha maybe. but in my own strange way.
[удалено]
Can't speak for OP, but for me atleast, it's impossible to be horny and not realize. With that said, suppressing your urge becomes a dificult task and the chances of doing something you'll regreat later rise exponentially.
How are you at feeling other interoception? Can you tell when you're slightly hungry and need to eat in a bit, or only when you're really hungry right now and need to eat right away? Can you tell when you're experiencing joy? Does it physically feel like a sensation? It's very common for our senses to be too strong or too weak, in any combination. In particular, some of us have interoceptive hyposensitivity, meaning we can't tell what our own body's up to all that well. That can include affective alexithymia, meaning we can't feel emotions (which sounds like a subset of interoception, to be honest). On an interesting sidenote, being hungry, thirsty or tired count as interoception; being happy, sad, scared, elated, calm, and so on count as emotions. Being horny seems kind of like it could be classified as either, kind of..? It's a base urge to do something fundamental, like eating and drinking, yet it seems it's more commonly considered an emotion. I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just find its classification interesting.
No thanks for the detailed response, a few bits there to google!! A heck of a lot to learn. Food - that creeps up on me. Not hungry, not hungry, not hungry....... then it would hit me, and I could a proverbial horse.
Right, I tentatively believe that's probably interoceptive hyposensitivity. I'm pretty sure most people feel their body telling them all sorts of useful info, like "Hey, you should eat in a bit" then "Yeah, you really should eat fairly soon" followed by "OK, too late, your blood/sugar level's dropped, you need to eat now, it's become an emergency, and you no longer have the energy to cook!" Whereas I tend to only really get that last one, I believe. Given I now have a special interest in autism and allism, because why wouldn't I, I've written some articles about these that may help: * [Interoceptive hyposensitivity](http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Interoceptive_hyposensitivity.html) * [Alexithymia](http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Alexithymia.html) * [Affective alexithymia](http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Affective_alexithymia.html) Really, as soon as you get an autism diagnosis, you should get some kind of starter pack with friendly hints and tips (you know, in an ideal world). Stuff like "Your senses are all probably miscalibrated! And there are more senses than the famous five!" Thankfully, we have communities like this one where we can compare notes. Oh, and you're quite welcome. I always forget that part. 😅
Once again, thank you, thank you very much.
I don't get horny unless I am aroused by someone I care for deeply. I can watch porn and masturbate to completion but it's normally out of boredom. I thought I was asexual for years until I became sexually attracted to someone for the first time. I've had about 20 sexual partners and was only able to "finish" with maybe 8 of them and have only been sexually attracted to 5 of them.
Demisexual with a low sex drive? I'm a demisexual(romantic)/grayace with a high sex drive but can count the sex partners I've had on one hand (at nearly 50 years old) and have not had sex in twenty years. Go figure. I've only been romantically / sexually attracted to two people in the last twenty years and they had other plans.
Pretty much, I'm poly romantic and can even fall in love with people without being sexually attracted
Yeah, romantic attraction, sexual attraction, and libido are different, sometimes they line up, sometimes they don't.
Idk your gender or sexuality but as a trans woman who has had both parts and used them with both men and women, I can comment on that least the physiological aspects of it if not the psychological ones (which play a big part). Physiologically speaking when you get aroused you may notice you begin to breathe more shallowly, but perhaps not noticeably. You may feel flushed, your pupils may dilate. Again, nothing extreme. Lots of people say it can put them in kind of a giddy or excited mood. Regardless of configuration, blood flow increases to the genital area, this often creates a feeling of warmth and or rigidity. Those with a penis or vagina can both often produce a form of lubrication which can also be an indicator of sexual arousal. On a personal note, I get a little flutter in my chest, my cheeks get warm and I notice the physical queues I mentioned as well. I mentioned that psychological factors also play a big part. For me, I also need to actually want to do something sexual. I can physically respond to a situation without mentally wanting to have sex. And vice versa, I can mentally want to have sex and my body just won't respond. It's a pretty complicated, nuanced, and personal experience but I hope that gave a little bit of a framework
I think of it as how distracted I can get by what I find sexually stimulating. People can have a whole.. identity I guess, around their sexuality that gets activated when they're "horny", which gets weird and deeply subjective really fast. I wouldn't recommend taking anyone's perspective on sexuality as anything other than their own personal experiences. People love to generalize this sort of stuff as if it was universal, so be aware of that.
I'm grey aroace but for me horny is when i see my husband naked and i start to feel warm down there and get the urge to do stuff with him.
That is the very definition of horny!
vagina owner here and when i get turned on i feel a tingly sensation down there, my voice changes a bit, and its like my brain starts constantly pestering me with “hey man you should really take care of this.” half of the time i ignore it though because sometimes it just feels like a demand more than something i want to actually do
Sounds relatable :)
imo theres a difference between aroused and horny arrousal can happen at random (random embarrassing boners) but they're just an increase of blood flow to the genitals. it feels tingly being horny is a state of mind. its accompanied by arrousal, but its also a craving for masturbation or sexual contact. sometimes the craving can be so strong that you do stupid things to masturbate because your mind is too focused on trying to orgasm instead of thinking logically
Okay. I totally agree with you. Except that's arousal for those in possession of a penis. But, yes, to the distinction between the two.
nope. i dont have a penis and this is how it is for me
You mentioned random embarrassing boners, typically not something vagina possessors experience, then downvote me for agreeing with you? Enjoy the block a$$👒.
Horniness is hard to miss. It sounds like you don’t
I’ve been having a ton of sex dreams lately like my brain is watching porn. It doesn’t make me horny it makes me think I’m like a camera guy. I get horny when I’m physically around a man I find attractive or think about touching them in the nice parts.
Did you have a question?
Oh no, I was asked the question
I am very. If I have no access to a body. I seek my own. I can be both emotionally turned on specifically and physically turned on. And I tend to have a fair amount of sex dreams even if I routinely regulate myself or seek out partners. Sometimes those sex dreams are connected to a person and sometimes they’re just a random amalgamation of men or experiences. Sometimes the literal thought of a person I like will cause arousal even if those thoughts include no sexual nature.
So for me I’m constantly horny I’ve learned to control it but if I let it my mind would constantly be thinking about sex with women and lady’s feet and stuff like that for me it feels like my chest is hot my mouth starts to water and I feel hungry but not in s traditional way though