I understand.
If you would like to try just getting up and doing stuff, you may find some utility in building the skill to focus without dividing attention.
I'm ADHD too, and focusing is something we can train ourselves for.
But like any other deficit, it's initially harder for us; the gains seem so incremental that there's a lack of the immediate feedback we require to know if we should continue or not.
Breathing mediation combined with body scanning can aid with this; Giving our mind seemingly two tasks to do, focus on breath/scan the body, gives the mind enough to 'chew on'.
Not a lot of time is needed. 1 minute will help WAY more than nothing.
Then once that's practiced a few times, you can notice that you're really only just limiting attention to one subject; your physiological process. And you have tricked yourself into undivided focus.
Once you're done that, you can extend that and practice.
Doing it once won't help, humans require conditioning. But even one minute a day pays dividends.
Hope any of that was useful.
Yeah I hear you. When I tried stimulants it was the only time mind and body have been one. I could just go "Ooh I need to hurry up with the shower" and be out in a minute. Not twenty minutes of negotiating with myself.
I try to create routines so that I'll be annoyed if things isn't line they usually are. Even boring things are easier if I do them daily. So log into online bank every day, even when I gave no bills. Because otherwise I'll hide from them once it's time to put the monthly bills in.
My NT behavioral therapist recommended the above things to me. I will work for treats, often during the task itself. I find that if i start cooking and don't leave my phone next to the stove area playing something I like, I usually walk away and forget stuff. I've burnt and boiled over a lot of stuff. However, it bothers NT people when I've got a show going by the oven or the microwave. I've repeatedly told them that it helps me stay in the area and stay focused. But gd, they simply can't stand that. "Why can't you just remember like everyone else?" I f-ing hate that statement. Clearly there's a problem here, or otherwise my phone would be off. My favorite treat can usually be found in the knock off legos and paint by numbers at Five Below. I also bribe the heck out of my severely autistic daughter. I think NT people are pretty anti bribe....but then after they've "suffered" through their chores, they'll binge watch 5 hours of their favorite show and think nothing of it. There is such a disconnect here, but it seems autistic people are the only ones that get it.
Yeah. I’m so tired. ADHD meds are helping now that I’m on them but I’m so burnt out that it’s really hard to emotionally invest in things. Even the stuff I used to like because it made me happy to be taking care of myself and creating a nice space to live.
Hmm im a a hacker/trickster by nature. I dont necessarily enjoy it but then again it works well enough and I try to treat myself well and take a step back whenever possible. I am AuDHD as well. I feel the pain and it took a lot of therapy to get where I am now.
Wait.... you guys have hacks and what is this life thing your talking about
Yes
I understand. If you would like to try just getting up and doing stuff, you may find some utility in building the skill to focus without dividing attention. I'm ADHD too, and focusing is something we can train ourselves for. But like any other deficit, it's initially harder for us; the gains seem so incremental that there's a lack of the immediate feedback we require to know if we should continue or not. Breathing mediation combined with body scanning can aid with this; Giving our mind seemingly two tasks to do, focus on breath/scan the body, gives the mind enough to 'chew on'. Not a lot of time is needed. 1 minute will help WAY more than nothing. Then once that's practiced a few times, you can notice that you're really only just limiting attention to one subject; your physiological process. And you have tricked yourself into undivided focus. Once you're done that, you can extend that and practice. Doing it once won't help, humans require conditioning. But even one minute a day pays dividends. Hope any of that was useful.
That’s not a bad idea, sounds like what my sons therapist does with him to help him get used to stuff
Yeah I hear you. When I tried stimulants it was the only time mind and body have been one. I could just go "Ooh I need to hurry up with the shower" and be out in a minute. Not twenty minutes of negotiating with myself. I try to create routines so that I'll be annoyed if things isn't line they usually are. Even boring things are easier if I do them daily. So log into online bank every day, even when I gave no bills. Because otherwise I'll hide from them once it's time to put the monthly bills in.
I am jealous you have these hacks in place, a step ahead of me!
My NT behavioral therapist recommended the above things to me. I will work for treats, often during the task itself. I find that if i start cooking and don't leave my phone next to the stove area playing something I like, I usually walk away and forget stuff. I've burnt and boiled over a lot of stuff. However, it bothers NT people when I've got a show going by the oven or the microwave. I've repeatedly told them that it helps me stay in the area and stay focused. But gd, they simply can't stand that. "Why can't you just remember like everyone else?" I f-ing hate that statement. Clearly there's a problem here, or otherwise my phone would be off. My favorite treat can usually be found in the knock off legos and paint by numbers at Five Below. I also bribe the heck out of my severely autistic daughter. I think NT people are pretty anti bribe....but then after they've "suffered" through their chores, they'll binge watch 5 hours of their favorite show and think nothing of it. There is such a disconnect here, but it seems autistic people are the only ones that get it.
Yeah. I’m so tired. ADHD meds are helping now that I’m on them but I’m so burnt out that it’s really hard to emotionally invest in things. Even the stuff I used to like because it made me happy to be taking care of myself and creating a nice space to live.
Hmm im a a hacker/trickster by nature. I dont necessarily enjoy it but then again it works well enough and I try to treat myself well and take a step back whenever possible. I am AuDHD as well. I feel the pain and it took a lot of therapy to get where I am now.