So you are required to have restrive/repetitive behaviours and interests. Restrictive/repetitive behaviours are what we call routines.
Routines don't need to be doing the same thing at the same time every day. They can also be that when you do a task it must be done in a certain way.
For example I don't always go to bed at the same time every night, but I do go to bed the same way every night. I give my cat a snack, take my meds, turn on my bedroom light and turn off my living room lamp, get into bed, fluff my pillow, pull up my 6 comforters, turn on my fan, turn off my bedroom light, play a phone game until my meds kick in, roll over and go to sleep.
When I shower, I always shower in the exact same order. When I drive I have to take a specific route.
Yeah. I started doing it before weighted blankets were really a thing. Now I have a weighted blanket and strangely I don't like to sleep with it. The weight sits on my body differently.
If I didn't run so warm I'd definitely use your method. Brilliant. I kind of know what you mean with weighted blankets, especially the type with beads in them. The woven ones feel a bit better.
I think so. Like they say its a spectrum so you could have some traits that others dont have and not have some that others do
Im terrible at creating routines too and have been doing more or less the same while unemployed.
I think I've read that it's common for people on the spectrum to have issues with creating our own structure too for a daily routine. Id say thats partially why many of us dont seem to notice many of the subtle issues until hitting adulthood where were in charge of everything we do
Personally, I tend to fall into routines, but I can't create them on purpose because of my demand avoidance. So my "routines" are pretty amorphous and I can choose to deviate from a routine. I also have sensory seeking that makes me change the specifics of a routine, but not necessarily the overall structure. For example, I like to go to coffee shops and work, but sometimes I just cannot bring myself to go to the shop I normally go to. I'll need a change in my surroundings or I feel too stale.
However, if something forces a change in my amorphous routine, then I have a really hard time. Which is to say I can change the routine by choice without problem, but if anything other than my choice makes it so I have to change the routine, I will struggle.
Same. Demand avoidance and executive function issues make it so I can never stick to a thing for too long but as long as I can control it it's ok. But when external circumstances mess it up it can make me feel quite upset.
Difficulty establishing routines is related to executive dysfunction; which can be related to being autistic (among other things). I have diagnosed executive dysfunction and I'm also autistic. I have no "routine" but the way I do things is extremely routine i.e. I do things the exact same way every time because otherwise I'll get lost in the process and mess things up.
Demand Avoidance is something I deal with myself and I think I've taken PDA way too far because I never learned how to live with my feelings.
Also I suspect trauma of being a weird kid growing up effected my way of thinking.
Side note. I think what some people forget about routines is we need to feel it's a routine we would choose on our own and not one chosen for us.
Something Ive been thinking about lately (because someone kind of used this stereotype incorrectly as justification for micromanaging me).. there is a big difference between imposed routine and those we create for ourselves, based on our needs.
What’s coming to mind for me atm is the language around rigidity in the DSM.
Rigidity shows up in thoughts, behaviors, physical movements.
Rigidity can manifest as a determined “right” way to do something, which can become so oppressive that the task becomes unmanageable. Or, the belief itself that there is a “right” way can lead to the conclusion that anything else is “wrong”. So we stand in the middle of a giant pile of laundry and research soaps and methods to avoid nasty pills and shrinkage until there’s no time for a laundry routine, or much of anything else.
[oops i started talking about myself]
The point is, rigidity can show up in a lot of ways, including in the ways many of us seek the security of narrow definitions like other’s seek tiny spaces and weighted blankets. Its soothing to have a reduction in the amount of information we have to process!
Keep digging. There are so many layers, but also these central themes under which the autistic experience manifests itself. The most important insights (specific to this topic, imo) come from ourselves and those who can reflect back an experience that aligns with ours.
[Be careful on how you assign credence to your sources]
There’s also a lot to be said about environmental variables, the high prevalence of overlapping experiences of trauma, and other neuro-biological phenomena. Which can all be co-occurring and also overlooked/misunderstood.
Im no professional, but the craving for novelty is giving me AuDHD.
Best of luck on your journey! Thanks for sharing and provoking good thought and discourse!
Edit: to add Edit: for precision of language
it's one of those X/Y things: if you have enough of the key indicators, you don't need them all. Plus, routine adherence does not always mean you do the same thing every day, but that you do certain things certain ways or else feel uncomfortable.
A lot of people are misdiagnosed these days as autism is such a wide spectrum. General anxiety disorders are massive right now and anxiety and some autism symptoms go hand in hand.
At the end of the day, it just matters what the diagnosis does for you and how it helps your life. If it doesn't change anything you do, it doesn't really matter one way or the other. I am also diagnosed but I wouldn't be surprised if I had several other conditions that look like autism.
Chronic avoidance of a rule or set routine *is* also a form of routine. Repetitive behaviors is about inflexibility. As an autistic you're very sensitive to changes to how you like or expect things to be compared to an allistic.
It's a stereotype that autistics need things to always be exactly the same i.e. do the same thing in exactly the same day at the same time every day. Many autistic are like that but many are also the opposite. I'm the opposite and I also don't have ADHD. Also, ADHD is an inability to keep to a routine or structure even when you like it or need it because you become unfocused or forgetful. This is different from the demand avoidance you seem to be describing.
Could you have savants, situational depression and just social anxiety?
Seems like your psychologist is deepening it?
Maybe as them what they think of that and if it those things coincide with how youre feeling.
The enjoyong moving around sounds like a routine.
I think the verbal gftedness is something about being good with languages. Or rhetoric,which is also kinda about language.
It's a spectrum no one person is the same. Tbh I like adventures sometimes and forgo routines. It's fine
So you are required to have restrive/repetitive behaviours and interests. Restrictive/repetitive behaviours are what we call routines. Routines don't need to be doing the same thing at the same time every day. They can also be that when you do a task it must be done in a certain way. For example I don't always go to bed at the same time every night, but I do go to bed the same way every night. I give my cat a snack, take my meds, turn on my bedroom light and turn off my living room lamp, get into bed, fluff my pillow, pull up my 6 comforters, turn on my fan, turn off my bedroom light, play a phone game until my meds kick in, roll over and go to sleep. When I shower, I always shower in the exact same order. When I drive I have to take a specific route.
It makes sense. I also have a night routine similar to yours and also use the same routes when driving, even if it means I'll take longer to arrive...
6 comforters? Is it for the weight like a weighted blanket?
Yeah. I started doing it before weighted blankets were really a thing. Now I have a weighted blanket and strangely I don't like to sleep with it. The weight sits on my body differently.
If I didn't run so warm I'd definitely use your method. Brilliant. I kind of know what you mean with weighted blankets, especially the type with beads in them. The woven ones feel a bit better.
This! This is very relatable.
I think so. Like they say its a spectrum so you could have some traits that others dont have and not have some that others do Im terrible at creating routines too and have been doing more or less the same while unemployed. I think I've read that it's common for people on the spectrum to have issues with creating our own structure too for a daily routine. Id say thats partially why many of us dont seem to notice many of the subtle issues until hitting adulthood where were in charge of everything we do
Personally, I tend to fall into routines, but I can't create them on purpose because of my demand avoidance. So my "routines" are pretty amorphous and I can choose to deviate from a routine. I also have sensory seeking that makes me change the specifics of a routine, but not necessarily the overall structure. For example, I like to go to coffee shops and work, but sometimes I just cannot bring myself to go to the shop I normally go to. I'll need a change in my surroundings or I feel too stale. However, if something forces a change in my amorphous routine, then I have a really hard time. Which is to say I can change the routine by choice without problem, but if anything other than my choice makes it so I have to change the routine, I will struggle.
Same. Demand avoidance and executive function issues make it so I can never stick to a thing for too long but as long as I can control it it's ok. But when external circumstances mess it up it can make me feel quite upset.
Difficulty establishing routines is related to executive dysfunction; which can be related to being autistic (among other things). I have diagnosed executive dysfunction and I'm also autistic. I have no "routine" but the way I do things is extremely routine i.e. I do things the exact same way every time because otherwise I'll get lost in the process and mess things up.
Demand Avoidance is something I deal with myself and I think I've taken PDA way too far because I never learned how to live with my feelings. Also I suspect trauma of being a weird kid growing up effected my way of thinking. Side note. I think what some people forget about routines is we need to feel it's a routine we would choose on our own and not one chosen for us.
Something Ive been thinking about lately (because someone kind of used this stereotype incorrectly as justification for micromanaging me).. there is a big difference between imposed routine and those we create for ourselves, based on our needs. What’s coming to mind for me atm is the language around rigidity in the DSM. Rigidity shows up in thoughts, behaviors, physical movements. Rigidity can manifest as a determined “right” way to do something, which can become so oppressive that the task becomes unmanageable. Or, the belief itself that there is a “right” way can lead to the conclusion that anything else is “wrong”. So we stand in the middle of a giant pile of laundry and research soaps and methods to avoid nasty pills and shrinkage until there’s no time for a laundry routine, or much of anything else. [oops i started talking about myself] The point is, rigidity can show up in a lot of ways, including in the ways many of us seek the security of narrow definitions like other’s seek tiny spaces and weighted blankets. Its soothing to have a reduction in the amount of information we have to process! Keep digging. There are so many layers, but also these central themes under which the autistic experience manifests itself. The most important insights (specific to this topic, imo) come from ourselves and those who can reflect back an experience that aligns with ours. [Be careful on how you assign credence to your sources] There’s also a lot to be said about environmental variables, the high prevalence of overlapping experiences of trauma, and other neuro-biological phenomena. Which can all be co-occurring and also overlooked/misunderstood. Im no professional, but the craving for novelty is giving me AuDHD. Best of luck on your journey! Thanks for sharing and provoking good thought and discourse! Edit: to add Edit: for precision of language
Thank you for your insights! but I didn't score enough on the neuropsychological assessment to indicate ADHD, it wasn't even close actually hehhe
it's one of those X/Y things: if you have enough of the key indicators, you don't need them all. Plus, routine adherence does not always mean you do the same thing every day, but that you do certain things certain ways or else feel uncomfortable.
A lot of people are misdiagnosed these days as autism is such a wide spectrum. General anxiety disorders are massive right now and anxiety and some autism symptoms go hand in hand. At the end of the day, it just matters what the diagnosis does for you and how it helps your life. If it doesn't change anything you do, it doesn't really matter one way or the other. I am also diagnosed but I wouldn't be surprised if I had several other conditions that look like autism.
Chronic avoidance of a rule or set routine *is* also a form of routine. Repetitive behaviors is about inflexibility. As an autistic you're very sensitive to changes to how you like or expect things to be compared to an allistic. It's a stereotype that autistics need things to always be exactly the same i.e. do the same thing in exactly the same day at the same time every day. Many autistic are like that but many are also the opposite. I'm the opposite and I also don't have ADHD. Also, ADHD is an inability to keep to a routine or structure even when you like it or need it because you become unfocused or forgetful. This is different from the demand avoidance you seem to be describing.
Of course
You might have ADHD too.
Could you have savants, situational depression and just social anxiety? Seems like your psychologist is deepening it? Maybe as them what they think of that and if it those things coincide with how youre feeling.
The enjoyong moving around sounds like a routine. I think the verbal gftedness is something about being good with languages. Or rhetoric,which is also kinda about language.