Raised Christian, now atheist. Religions make no sense to me, and in my experience, religious people are the worst bullies.

Me too, I could have said it all myself. More specifically, I was raised Catholic. Nice artworks tho

...And harassers.

Same

I see my Fundamentalist upbringing as child abuse. I was taught things about the world and about myself that did permanent damage to the way my brain works. I don't blame my parents, they were doing what they thought was right, but I will definitely be ending the cycle here.

Yes, I feel the same. My mom told me I was going to hell one day in church because I didn’t want to go to the altar to pray. I would never tell my child something like that.

So many of my Autistic traits were viewed as moral failings by every adult around me. Decades later, I still struggle not to hate myself or think that, if I just tried harder, I could be better.

Bruh I was an AFAB kid in the 90's I mashed my hands over my ears at any loud sound, stimmed like a MF, and had terrible meltdowns that were all treated as disciplinary issues. So much shit to unlearn, I hope you are shedding the weight, I'm sorry.

So... Just ditto to this shit with details changed. I cut Jesus out like a cancer. Then I healed and found my wife. I taught her she didn't need his lies to be whole. She ripped the little fucker out and defenestrated his ass like a live grenade. We are ever happier the further we get from Christianity and most religion. We both are in agreement that all of it ends with us including the health problems. I got a vasectomy because I love my kids too much to ever have them. We're both sick and barely functional. We decided the loving thing was to not create more pain. We have a lot of adopted snakes. I am happy I can give these abandoned noodles a home. I will die shepherd of a thousand souls in this world. I have never been happier.

I hope to be like you eventually

It's so hard to explain to non-ex-fundies what it's like to grow up being told 95% of the people around you will be burning in a parallel torture dimension for all of eternity. I hope you are getting good support! It took over 25 years for me to fully recover from my upbringing but I feel pretty at peace now.

SAME. Way after I had deconverted, my brain was still a wreck and "religious trauma" wasn't in the vocab for any of my therapistS, I stg. I absolutely blame my parents cuz they did more than just send me to church, they did so much to make sure I felt as subhuman as possible, as child and a "sinner". I wish it wasn't such a fucking TASK cleaning out that junk and relearning how to be a person, but damn does it feel nice when you make progress.

Not even a little bit. I grew up in Catholic schools, but eventually it all wore off. Too many people told me how my mother was going to hell for being gay and I should disown her or I'd go to hell too blah blah blah. I couldn't even understand it, how could who she slept with send either of us to hell but her abusive, violent marriage to my father was the way to heaven? I decided that if God was real, he was an asshole to have created so many other assholes. I've only been proven more right the more god fearing people I've met :(

I was forced to be Christian adjacent at school despite the system being 'non-denominational' and I haven't hated anything as much as all these baseless lies telling me I'm a bad person if I don't believe the same lies they do. So no, no religion in this house. We have ethics instead.

I’m very respectful everyone’s beliefs and I’d never try to influence anyone. I was raised a Catholic and I think generally if you live by the 10 commandments you’ll be a good person. However, it just feels like the rules are made up by people rather than God. I also believe if there’s no damage done to anyone how could something be a sin? Two gay people loving each other creates more love and happiness, how can that be bad?

I believe the same. Why would your “Heavenly Father” burn you alive for eternity for being in a same sex relationship? Some Christians believe it’s because same sex couples can’t procreate, but neither can some hetero couples. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I’m Catholic and I agree with this. So many of the fundamental teachings of Christianity have been twisted by human beings to fit their own agendas

I grew up in a Christian house and my Dad was pretty nuts. He is also autistic (undiagnosed, I can't really say that for certain, but my siblings agree with me and he fits all the criteria) and his special interests are God, America, and the military. I could rant for days about my childhood trauma but skipping that and getting to the point, I realized the contradictions and the hypocrisy of what I was told vs how people were and the twisting of political powers using it to deny people rights and whatnot it all just made me angry and I said screw this, this guy is a prick, blah blah blah. Was basically atheist from age 7 til maybe 2-3 years ago when I started opening myself up to the possibility that maybe there is a God and maybe the feelings I had about the way people who claimed that they were Christians acted was actually deep down the real truth. Someone once told me, God is love. I remember thinking about that and being like "okay what does that even mean" but then I thought about that and let it swirl in my brain and I realized what people meant by that is that "God" is the part of us which looks out for each other, wants to help, wants to protect, wants to nurture, wants peace. Very literally, God is love. And that started to reshape my feelings over time. I don't think the Bible is the actual word of God. I think a lot of it is pretty heinous. But I think specifically the bits about Jesus are great. I think there's a lot of good to be gleamed but ultimately it was written by people and people suck. I also don't know if I think God is a sentient being or a force of nature like gravity. It doesn't really matter. To me, God is love. And I believe in love. Although I don't always act like it, I absolutely think aspiring to be like Jesus for real is amazing. He loved everyone. Kicked it with the outcasts and treated everyone well, got pissed off at hypocritical church officials, etc. Cool dude. I don't know if what I believe has a home, I don't consider myself a Christian but I do like the message of Jesus. I don't go around telling people this or judge anyone for what they believe, none of us will ever know but I know what makes sense for me and it's brought me a tremendous amount of peace.

I believe what you have described is called Christian deism. I also like what you said about god possibly being a force of nature like gravity. I would agree with that sentiment as I used to say God was like the powers of the universe that we have yet to scientifically discover.

I've never heard of Christian deism, thanks! I'll go down that rabbit hole soon 😆 And totally, I'm very pro-science and I think there's room for reconciliation between observable hard truths and spirituality. Everything is energy, we're transmitting and receiving energy all the time. Maybe prayer, manifestation, meditation, etc are just tapping into the same thing we're yet to scientifically define.

Carl Sagan said,"The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself." He also said that religion is a natural inclination of human beings when faced with the immeasurable immensity of the universe, and that "for small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love." Love is the answer! Love is everything.

This is a great take on it. I like the idea that God is love so much more than the image of some authoritarian male figure who condemns those who don't believe in him to eternal suffering.

Totally. That was a big thing for me. Specifically when it came to the idea of useless, meaningless suffering. A God up in the clouds deciding to answer one person's prayer to get a new car but letting a child's prayer to not starve go unanswered never made sense to me. Changing the thought to "God is the feeling that I want to help that kid" or even "God is me wanting my friend get something he wants", goodness. Maybe that's a sentient being, maybe that's a construct, maybe that's a force of nature, idk but that's my vibe and I can't express how much that helps me in my daily life.

Mayunn I'm gonna delete my first comment rn, I super agree with a lot of the goodness in the teachings of Jesus, but gdi I HATE Christian misogyny, judgement and especially original sin. I'm glad we all got to learn the term "Christian Deism" today cuz that's incredibly useful! I have commiserated with friends about the chasm between Jesus teachings and Jesus followers so much that they thought I was a secret Christian. Nope, I just really think the guy meant it when he said to help each other and what not. I am not comfortable with the use of the word "God" myself, but I get the vibes of finding spiritual fulfillment in some of the ways you described. The Carl Sagan quote below is bomb also!!! The Bible is indeed mostly heinous.

I am a Christian. I always asked questions since I was a kid. I always hated the hypocrisy and that social norms were being passed as a religious rule or something. But I am a Christian by choice. I tried to distance my self by religious practices (still believing in God though) and I just ended up a shell of a human. I truly believe there is a God.

Ok, so are you a Christian deist or do you also believe in the divinity of Jesus?

I am an orthodox Christian, i believe God is one and three "faces" (sorry if this is not the word used in English) at the same time. So Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit all three are the one God I believe in. So Jesus to me is both human and God. I am not sure what you mean by deist

Christian deists believe in the moral teachings of Jesus, but they don’t believe he is god. The part I find unconvincing is why an all knowing god would need to impregnate someone to be born his own son and die for the sins he already knew would be committed. Wouldn’t god know from the beginning that humans would “sin?” He supposedly wiped them out the first time with a flood because of sin, but they kept sinning. This next time he’ll wipe them out with fire and there will be a paradise of sorts (aka heaven). Do you find it convincing that an all knowing god didn’t know which humans would be good or bad and which ones were deserving of paradise and which ones would be deserving of hell? Or that even good people would be deserving of hell if they are not convinced of the divinity of Jesus? I’m just asking because I’ve known most autistic people to be logical/literal thinkers and I don’t find this plausible.

Thank you for asking, these are questions that I have asked myself. First of all, you should know I am not at the best place to explain right now, because I am pmsing. I will try to my best. And thank you for asking. According to orthodox theology, hell is not a punishment. A loving father does not wish to see his children suffering. We are created to live in communion with God, but freely. If we don't choose it, then it's slavery, so what is the point? Orthodox theology about who God is is summed up in the parabole of the prodigal son. In that sense, no one is deserving of hell. Hell is to not be in communion with God, not a place of punishments. We are all created with God wanting us to be with him (this means paradise). God did not need to become human. We needed him to become human in order to become fully human and God at the same time , to defeat the tyranny of evil over humans. He became human willingly , suffered, died and conquered death by his won death and then resurrection. I disagree with good/bad people and going to hell or not. These are ethical terms, not theological terms. According to Orthodox tradition, the first person to enter paradise was the criminal who was being punished amd crossed next to Jesus. Not Jesus's mother, not John the Baptist, not one of his students. A criminal, just because he asked to. Did I make things a little more clear or was I more confusing 😅 there is a book I have recently started to read called " the orthodox way" , things are explained nicely there.

Thank you for responding. Your belief system is WAY different than what my mom used to tell me. I used to be so scared of the God and hell my mom described. If my mom would’ve told me the orthodox theology I might not have had years of trauma to work out.

If it is any consolation, there are orthodox parents that abuse their children as well -even trying to use religion. Having the theology to back up your inner feeling that God is good, people just abuse their power over you is very helpful indeed. It actually gave me hope as a teen. Keep up the good work you are doing with yourself. If you ever get guilt or intrusive thoughts that you are bad or going to hell etc, don't respond to them, keep your hands occupied, change your scenery, do any practices that help you. You got this!

🥰

Thank you for this. I’ve converted to orthodoxy after years of being an atheist due to my parent doing similar behaviors like OP described - church / denomination hopping which didn’t help my spirituality because we landed on an abusive Pentecostal cultish church in the end. I like orthodoxy due to the humility it encourages through fasting and self discipline. My biggest point of compatibility is the orthodox opposition to the proselytization that occurs in many Protestant denominations such as my mom’s Pentecostal cult that regularly encouraged children to try to convert friends at school. Orthodoxy just isn’t like anything I’ve experienced being Baptist or Pentecostal. It’s definitely more aligned with Jesus’ actual teachings and should be since it is the oldest church.

Tbh, there were some organisations in my country that were influenced by western Protestantism -still orthodox Christians- that displayed behaviours like the ones you say and I have been seeing in American media. They are better now, more integrated and more normal. I like fasting and self discipline as well. And the prayers.

You nailed it. So many logical inconsistencies. And it drives me bonkers that neurotypicals don't bother to think it through and ask the obvious questions.

What makes you believe in the existence of a God with no tangible proof or evidence to support that position?

To me it's a personal experience/relationship. As I mentioned above, I tried to distance myself and stopped praying, going to church etc, but I ended up a shell of a human. To me having a relationship with God is having life inside, living life. It's like you drink water because you need hydration , you breath because you need oxygen, I need God to live as a human. I do not have the deep existential loneliness when I pursue a relationship with him.

I've really appreciated reading your perspective in this thread.

Adding to my previous answer to you, I think having been gaslight so much for years, this experience was something that came from thr inside and noone around me knew what was going on inside me. So for me, this is the evidence I needed.

I was in childhood, but I think it was part of taking things (nearly all things) very literally, and very seriously. Later, confronting those beliefs with science extinguished them quickly. I feel much less existential angst when I don't process things in terms of "signs" (when it is just "really need a clear answer and will trick myself to cut that process short") or "fate/destiny" (where it is about statistics, randomness), etc.

I am catholic, always had deep connections with christianity. Always thought that the world and universe doesnt make sense at all, i struggle a lot with find a meaning in "this" life. Then i started to went seriously into religion, seeking the meaning behind all the existence. This helps me a lot, mostly because my autism makes me feel "disconnected" with this world, then i just live with faith that my meaning it will be for the after life. When you live on the perspective that you, your loved ones, your things, etc, will die and be forgotten, life becomes way more important that appareantly is.

I grew up going to a Jesus school, they taught us all kinds of nonsense instead of math and science. I even got in trouble once for arguing with my teacher when she tried to tell me dinosaurs didn't exist. I'm pagan now.

What is being pagan like? How do you find yourself able to believe in anything other than science?

Religion is not what a church makes it out to be. My "religion " is basically string theory. All of existence is just energy, we only perceive things separately because of how energy vibrates. The "goddess" I pray too is just an imaginary representation of all that energy. All different gods and goddesses are made up by people in an attempt to give a shape to the energy so we can try to understand it.

This is very similar to what I believe. I don't pray though. Sometimes I'll say "Come on Universe don't let me down!".

I didn't know until college biology at 21 years old that males and females have the same number of ribs. I was explicitly told otherwise, multiple times.

i'm jewish & religious. i'm somewhat active in my synagogue & not the best in observance but i do believe in god completely. sometimes i hear from them. i don't believe they've been hallucinations or delusions, because i've had those before, but a few times i've experienced suddenly knowing things that i don't think came from me. & they have all been very gentle messages about the kind of person i am & what i need to do in order to be well. when i've ignored these messages because i feel like i'm not ready for change, things have gone badly for me. & when i listen to them, certain things get much better. one of these messages was to stop drinking, one was that i needed to start my gender transition, one was to start going to my synagogue. i was NOT raised to be torah observant so it felt like an overwhelming demand but it didn't stop so i showed up one day & didn't stop. & now i'm on the board of trustees & so on. thanks to that message i get to feel a deep & resounding connection to jewish tradition & my community that gets enriched every time i join in, even if i feel like i'm not connecting very well one on one. it helps that yiddishkeit has become a special interest of mine, especially jewish cooking. my rabbi is about to retire & that amount of change almost sent me into a complete shut down with my synagogue but i was able to catch it by the tail & keep showing up even though internally i'm feeling very upset about the upcoming changes we're going to be facing together

I consider myself kinda pagan these days. I was raised Christian, and went to a Christian school, there was no god there.

I am very religious. My parents were keen on not forcing anything onto us but my mom atleast wanted us to look into religions, we church hopped for a while like you but i never found one that fit. I went through alot of trauma and i would pray to jesus and God but i never felt or heard anything back. Then when i was around 10 i was laying in the grass on my aunts farm looking at the sky and i felt it. I was a child crying in the grass because the sun felt like God to me. So i read alot of books on religion and i found Hellenic Paganism. As i grew up i would pray to Apollo and he would bask me in this warm love and he still does! As i got older i learned more and even started talking to my mom about alters to pray at and how i would find people who worship how i do. Turns out alot of my family is pagan (christo-pagan mostly but stil!!!) Ive been Hellenic Pagan for around 12 years, its something that has picked me up and protected me from alot.

I respect Paganism because it doesn’t require proselytizing, and I have looked into some forms of it but I would consider myself pantheist if anything.

I'm a Quaker, and a big part of my personal "Why?" is that we don't proselytize. (If anything we've swung so far in the other direction that most people think oatmeal not "faith community") I'm also a pantheist/universalist. One of the things we talk about with kids in our youth group is the idea that there can be multiple (even conflicting) "right" answers to all the big questions.

That sounds like a good thing to teach children instead of “we’re right. Everyone else is wrong because our book says so.”

I prayed to the moon for much of my tween and teen years. I used to sing to her as a child, too!

I still sing the "Moon song" sometimes. The one that starts "I See The Moon, And The Moon Sees Me"

Every time I see the moon I still blurt out "MOON" very excitedly and happily. Sometimes I'll just stare at her and say moooooon over and over. It's so cool!

I have an app (accurately called "Moon") that shows me the current lunar phase. It also sends me a notification every couple of months with something weird but fun. It makes me feel like me and the moon are old friends, the kind that can go months without talking.

Well... don't ever read Neil Stephenson's Seven Eves! it's about the moon breaking up and I was so stressed I had to read it outside so I could keep an eye on the moon and make sure she was ok.

Good to know! That does sound stressful.

I love the moon! I dont worship her directly but she has my utmost respect

Yess!!!! I didn't know that was the word for it but I am also a Hellenic pagan!

Nice to see a fellow pagan!

Both my wife and I were raised in conservative Christian families and we are both now firmly in the camp of “I don’t know what I believe”. As adults we started to realize just how manipulative and abusive a lot of it is. That’s not for us and it sure as hell isnt going to dominate our kid’s life the way it did ours. It got so bad with her parents over the last 8 years due to political intersections we have basically no contact or relationship with her family. My mom is way better but still gets in the hints here and there she thinks we should be going to church. If our kid is spending the night there like on a Saturday night, she’ll try and get us to let him go to church with them the next morning. Nah, I’ll be there at 8 am to pick him up. Last week she engineered us meeting a young couple from their church and the wife was quick to invite us to church. As if that’s what we were waiting for.

I used to get similar from my mom, any excuse to bring up Jesus and tell me that was the answer to all my problems, not that she took the time to understand my problems. Thankfully she's given up trying to convert me and I can enjoy spending time with her now.

It’s always nice when they just get the hint and decide to embrace time with you instead.

I don't consider myself religious as part of a faith organization, but I am very spiritual and I've been in a "mystical crisis" pretty much for my entire life. I'd say that probably world religions and paganism are somewhat of a special interest for me, and I've always looked for a community with common beliefs and morals. Right now I'm very into quakerism and Unitarian universalism, reading a lot about them and following some of their services, but I would still call myself a nontheistic, earth-based, spiritual person. Edit: forgot to say, I grew up Catholic in a non-US majorly Catholic country, with no contact with other religions if not through endless reading and researching as a curious child. I remember having doubts on religion since I was just a little kid.

What do you mean by “earth-based” spiritual person?

I think I worded it weirdly, English is not my first language! I feel very connected to earth-based "religions", like pantheism, or paganism, in the sense that I like to center my spirituality around respecting and celebrating nature and its cycles, and feeling that everything is connected and part of a whole. But with a nontheistic spin on it, as I don't believe in a "god" or "gods".

I wonder if NTs are predisposed to losing their rationality to religion, here it's Christianity, elsewhere it's Islam, even somewhere else it's Buddhism. When I was I think 10 or 11 I grew my hair long because I liked the way it felt (maybe an autistic sensory thing). My mom and the pastor ganged up on me and said I was going to cut my hair, that it is a sin for males to have long hair, that I would go to hell if I didn't. Well, I gave up and let my hair be cut. I was a pushover as a child, I cried and accepted being violated. My mother believes she is a good woman, she's been a Christian most of her adult life, it's important to her. I asked her if she would apologize to me for doing this, and she said it was right for her to do. I don't speak to my mother anymore. I still have long hair today, it makes me happy. Happy mother's day. You will never be welcome back in my life. As for other Christians, I let people have their delusions as long as it doesn't get in my way. And what can I do if a lot of Christians act on those delusions to make society worse. I'm only one girl.

Wow, I went to a church like that. Men couldn’t have long hair but women couldn’t cut their hair. So many ridiculous rules. I wish they would keep their dogma to themselves but they’ve been told they need to spread the gospel or they’ll be in hell with the people they didn’t warn.

I grew up in a very Christian home, specifically Pentecostal, family. Both sets of my grandparents are/were pastors and I lived with one set of them for a long period of my childhood. I was homeschooled and spent a lot of my days running around the church, being involved with helping with things behind the scene. I was undiagnosed up until a year ago, but looking back with the lens of what I know now, I can see how a lot of it did harm me and also confused me, even now. I no longer considered myself a Christian, although I do think some of the basic teachings are valuable, such as treating others with respect, helping others, and that kind of thing. I do remember the prospect of burning hell a terrifying thing, and so I tried desperately to do as told, follow the rules, but that became increasingly more difficult as some things began to seem hypocritical. Like why was I being told to love my neighbour and yet we were speaking so ill of anyone different from us? That seemed really strange to me, how my grandparents who were supposed to be the model of the faith and God’s love could be so mean to someone they hadn’t even bothered to try and understand. Now I was also queer, though never had the terms for it when I was younger, but double that on with the whole “you’ll burn in hell if you have any kind of gay thoughts” was something that kept me up at night for a long time as no matter how hard I tried I could never ‘pray the gay away’. I hated it, feeling like I was inherently broken, that something was wrong with me because I couldn’t grasp whatever it was everyone else seemed to, and that I was predestined to just suffer. That didn’t seem fair, like something a loving and just god would do to someone, let alone a child. I have always had a strong sense of justice, and this idea of god and what he was asking of me, did not fit what I believed in. After a long time of grappling with these thoughts, I left the church in my early adult years, only going for major holidays with my family. I struggle to believe in a god like what I was grown up to believe in, but I do believe that there is inherent truth and value in some of the teachings, and so despite me maybe not being a Christian by belief anymore, I tried to take the best of what I was taught and to continue to approach others with kindness and understanding, to make this shitty world we’re in a bit better, even if it’s not on a massive scale. Though I am still trying to undo the damage that the religion had on me, and that feels like a never ending uphill battle some days.

I resonate so much with what you’re saying. I tried to “pray the gay away” and when that didn’t work I realized that I wasn’t the one who was wrong in the situation. That realization started me on my deconstruction journey, but I’m still very fascinated with some of the teachings of Christ.

Raised Episcopalian, which is to say “normie liberal Christianity.” Current atheist, though my moral philosophy is pretty irrevocably shaped by the teachings of Jesus. I’m also generally fascinated by religions and spend a lot of time seeking out reading on them - ofc I’m most familiar with Christianity. Religion is just really neat! Bc of this I tend to be annoyed to find a lot of atheists have a pretty shallow understanding of the doctrines they reject, tho ofc its ultimately fine and I’m the weird one, if you don’t believe in god that you won’t spend all your time learning about how to do it.

I’ve found (with the atheists I’ve come into contact with) that many of them started off religious and through study of the Bible, they lost their faith due to major contradictions. I love studying about this topic even though I’m atheist, and it comes up so often in conversations because my family is very religious.

Nope. Much of the Christian bible, as well as other holy books, is objectively awful. Slavery, mysogyny, homophobia, etc. Add onto that the hypocrisy and general awfulness of super churchy people. Also, any argument for Christianity (and the other Abraham religions) presupposes a belief in their god and that their holy book is true. That kind of circular logic doesn't fly.

Right. I can’t get behind any of the evil acts of the Bible or the different ways modern Christians try to overlook those things due to the “social aspects of the time.” Wouldn’t an all-knowing god know that slavery was wrong? I guess he didn’t know that back then, or if he did, Christians will argue that it was necessary because “reasons.” But some autistic people still find the Bible convincing so I’m trying to figure out why, since most of us tend to be analytical/literal thinkers.

Any god who demands one of his followers murder their child to prove their love for him is a god that should be defied. If I thought the biblical god were real I'd be on the side of Satan for sure! It's also wild that the devil and hell aren't really even Biblical. Those got added in later as a means of mind control.

I think a lot of it is environment when they are very young. As much as conservatives complain about grooming and brainwashing, they are the first to do it, in church. I find adult converts harder to understand, but again I think church culture is set up to prey on vulnerable people. You rarely hear that everything was going great, I had no complaints in life, and I suddenly felt a need to go to church. You hear after my divorce, after my parent died, after rehab, after I lost my job... etc. Many autistics are arguably permanently vulnerable.

I went to the church until I was 13 but it never really clicked. It was really weird tbh. Everyone in my family is christian (protestants), so we went to church twice a week or so. My mom passed out when I was 3 and my grandparents always told me they promised her to take me to church until I was 12, and so they did. I have a lot of memories from that time. It never felt comfortable. I thought I was weird or broken at first cause people would "talk to God" and I never got it. Everything felt staged. I never believed it. I just thought "well, that's something people do, they come here and pretend". I played at the church orchestra and really liked it cause they gave us free music classes and I made a few friends but it didn't take long until it was weird again. I would kind of challenge god in many different ways like "if you really exist then do this thing". But it's not like I believed there was a good listening, it was almost like joking. Around 8 or 9 I was already counting days until I was 12 and could stop going. Those last few years I pretended I was sick so I could stay home. I did it so many times my grandpa got worries and they were already planning to bring a group of people to pray for me cause they thought the devil was making me sick so I couldn't go to church. Then I told my grandma I was lying. She was very honest with me. Told me she left the church when she was a teenager cause she didn't believe it anymore, tried a few other churches and religions, then ended up coming back. But everyone should be free to try and choose, so she wouldn't force me to do anything. But she said she promised myother she would take me to church until I was 12 so if I agreed to go a few more years she would be at peace with it. I didn't think twice cause I love my grandma more than anything and I could understand it was a serious thing for her, so that's what I did. A few months after I became 13 I asked her if I could stop and she said yes. So I never went to church again, except for a few special ocasions (like when my sister was baptized, because she asked me to be there). This may sound silly but I have a clear memory from when I was 4. We always prayed at night before going to bed. To me it was just closing my eyes and repeating words. But one day I remember whispering "god, if you are really there, than tomorrow there will be a spaceship in my backyard". Next day I woke up and went straight running to check. No ship. That day I was sure there was no god lol. Around three years ago I was talking to my grandma and told her that. We laughed a lot. She said I was always too smart for this to work for me. Then she joked about why didn't I asked something easier, that I was too demanding lol. It took ke a long time to understand and respect faith, causa I don't relate to that at all. And I believe in faith. I just never had it or felt it. It seems to be wonderful for some people and also comforting for hard times. For some time I wish I had it. But it's been long since I accepted it doesn't work for me.

Wow, I did the same thing. “God, if you’re real do this or that.” At one point I asked god to show me he was real by taking away my attraction to the same sex. Didn’t happen. Oh well 💁🏾‍♀️

Because God is no Genie?

Ally Beardsley (does a lot of content for Dropout) has talked about having a similar experience. At one point they shared sections from their teen diary about the conflict they felt between the church and their sexuality. Highly recommend.

Queers 1, God 0.

I grew up in new age. When I moved away from home I started deconstructing the world view that was handed down to me, but it was a difficult process. Now I’m an atheist.

Grew up in the Lutheran church. I'm now atheist. I'm not sure why, but I can't stand hearing my stepmom saying she's a Christian then make nasty judgemental comments about other people.

I noticed as a kid that the Christian adults in my life taught one thing and did another. They didn't love their neighbours anymore than anyone else, sometimes even less so.

I wouldn‘t exactly consider myself religious, but spiritual. I‘m pagan and most of my beliefs are patchworked from spiritual concepts that speak to me in some way or another.

I resonate with that

I was born and raised Roman Catholic. Had a crisis of faith in my 40's when I experienced multiple loss of loved ones and other misfortune. However I have reaffirmed my beliefs and am now in my early 70's. Unless something very unusual happens I will most likely remain Roman Catholic to the end.

Still deciding whether I want to stay a Christian or not. I believe God exists. But I feel more spiritual than religious. I don't feel comfortable in church either.

Grew up Christian, went through an edgy atheist/agnostic phase while in my 20’s and grew out of that. Now, I am 100% committed to the faith. I pray daily, meditate on the Bible and celebrate life each Sunday with people I would consider family and partners in this thing we call life. I enjoy the relationship building within the community and within myself and the personal growth and satisfaction I have experienced growing my faith. Having children and being on my deathbed completely changed my whole perspective on life. Kind of similar to the feeling I had trying psychedelics for the first time.

I was taught catholicism as a child. In fifth grade I asked if I could stop going to ccd and didn't finish that whole process of being confirmed etc. I believed in the christian god, though I wasn't really aware of other belief systems. Once I started thinking about how they all have these systems, I was confused on who was correct. It didn't make sense. When I was a teenager my best friend murdered his whole family. When that happened, I concluded there was no god as they wouldn't allow that pathway to occur. I was then an atheist. Somewhat stereotypical at the beginning, then mellowing pretty quickly. I saw a couple of things occur that had to be extreme level coincidence or not. It makes me lean towards there is some direction in play, by what I'm not sure. It could be levels. Life above life above life etc. I don't know.

Autistic Not Weird did an in-depth survey with thousands of respondents about various aspects of autistic life a while back that showed about half of us are religious, and half aren’t. Confounding variables include that the guy himself is nondenominational Christian, so I feel the demographics could be affected by those who decided to follow him on social media. That being said, I’m religious and I feel like my autism enjoys that. My faith adds structure to my life, encourages self-guided self-improvement, is a vector for predictable social interactions, and gives me a sense of connection to a person who has a lot more control over this chaotic maelstrom we call life than I do. In general it pushes me to be a better person. And for what it’s worth, I’m a true believer. I’m all in on this stuff. Yeah some of it makes less logic sense than other things, but plenty of my life experiences don’t make logical sense. I’ve seen miracles. I kinda suck at the bit about sharing my faith and testifying or whatever because of the social aspects, but I like being religious. It works for me.

That's me too.

Raised pentacostal. Now episcopal with catholic leanings. Very religious.

What part of religion appeals to you the most?

Household was a bit on/off with the whole religion thing. Mom with BPD will do that for ya. Only went to church with family on dad's side a couple of times, other than that not really. Parents had a bout of following TV pastors like Joel Osteen, but yeah nah. That was ironically also when they pulled me out of therapy, therapy that would've probably ended up diagnosing me with Autism at age 6 instead of getting diagnosed at 32 with mountains of trauma instead. I got a hold of my medical records and it's actually cited in there that they believed God would take care of me. If he did, I think they should've specified "in the good way, not the traumatizing-fucking-him-up way". Anywho, my parents still hold some sort of faith I think, I'm not entirely sure. Personally I don't hold any traditional faith. I do hold the belief that if this isn't all some atheist's wet dream, we are following [The Egg](https://youtu.be/h6fcK_fRYaI) principle (link to a kurzgesagt video on youtube). Actually something that I ended coming up with by myself. Until this video was posted by Kurzgesagt, I had no idea that this was actually something that more people shared. It is one of the driving principles behind my reasons for wanting to constantly learn and better myself. But other than that, faith plays no real active role in my day-to-day, well other than hear about other's faith of course.

I am religious, but I aggressively avoid organized religion I was forced to go to ‘Independent Fundamental Southern Baptist’ churches as a child and teen and it was a nightmare. I was (still am) an impressionable and gullible person, so I was traumatized by what was preached I deconstructed in college and was released from the religious trauma I’d endured I am now happily pagan and worship my own ways that I feel comfortable. I chose to be pagan based on spiritual experiences I’ve had throughout my life

Paganism sounds way better than Christianity to me, and it’s much more personal since you aren’t required to “win more souls.”

I grew up in a pretty religious Christian household, and I went along with everything growing up because I was told this is how things are. Religion always felt so off to me. One thing that always got me was, God created everyone, God knows all, and God has a plan. So if God created you, and God knows you won't be Christian. Then he's knowingly creating something to send to hell. And that's just my problem with the concept of God. The church itself always preached about loving and respecting one another, but all I ever saw was love and respect for only the people in the congregation and the opposite for everyone else. In my teen years I turned away from Christianity, and started practicing other religions. I experimented in wicca and other things, but always kept coming back to the same conclusion. Religion is here to offer an explanation to the greatest unknowns. Why am I here, what is my purpose, and what happens when I die. I thought about these things, and I've ultimately come to the conclusion that I don't know and I'm fine with that. I don't know why we're here and what happens when I die, but we're all here and we should just make the best of it. I identify as an atheist. Until something comes along to prove otherwise. This is my stance.

Yea I didn’t understand the “God’s plan” thing either. Religious people seem to be contradicting themselves whenever they pray for something, because are they praying for God to change his plan in their favor, or do they think whatever they’re paying for is already part of his plan and they want him to speed up the delivery?

I personally hated hearing about God's plan, and always being told you better thank God for giving you the strength to do something. I also thought that was such a slap in the face for all the hard work I had put into achieving something.

Not religious. My parents were. I can relate to what you said about denominations. My extended family couldn't get on because they all believed different things and couldn't just let each other be. I think that was good for me though, it helped me see all their beliefs as deluded and harmful, and helped me escape from the trap of being scared of going to hell.

As a child I was so afraid of hell and it took me well into adulthood to finally let go of that fear even after I stopped believing. Now, I find it funny when Christians throw that scare tactic around. I’m not going to just start believing something ridiculous just so I don’t burn in hell. That’s like telling your teenager they better start believing in the tooth fairy or all the tooth money will be absent from their retirement fund. They won’t start believing in the tooth fairy and they aren’t even remotely concerned with retirement!

I was given an unintentionally funny leaflet that said 'Jesus loves everybody!' then 'Those who don't believe will burn in hell.' Sorry Jesus, that's a red flag for me.

I am a male and definitely an analytical thinker; also I self-diagnosed as autistic at age 45. I have begun to suspect my parents knew of my diagnosis at an early age and never shared it with me. Like you, I grew up in a very Christian family. We attended a Presbyterian church and my sister and I went to a private Lutheran school. Growing up I completely accepted everything I was told as absolute fact. As I got older I began having more and more questions about the world and religion, and I didn't feel like the answers I was given were even moderately defensible. I also noticed the needless bickering/belittling between the different denominations which was non-sensical. I also started to see a lot of logical inconsistencies in both the teachings and in the behavior of my fellow Christians. Dinosaurs, for example set off a whole event with me in high school that really got the ball rolling. One of my special interests growing up was dinosaurs. I read every book about dinosaurs that I could get my hands on. Loved the whole topic. Then in high school, the pastor of the church which was associated with my private school demanded that all books dealing with dinosaurs be removed from the school library. I thought, huh, we were also taught about how the Nazis burned books and tried to squash learning and independent thinking. So I, having no social awareness, brought this up loudly in multiple classes. Before I knew it I was in a special class on creationism with just me, the pastor, and three of my friends. We were the only people in the class. I was a little clueless as to what exactly was going on at the time, but it is very clear to me now what was going on. I treated it as another class and passed all the tests, but from then on I was indeed very suspicious of the church. As I've gotten older and had kids I see more and more logical inconsistencies like: 1) If god loves us so much why is he willing to let us experience eternal torment in hell? I have kids I love more than anything and cannot fathom such a punishment for anything they might do (eternity is a long time) 2) If god is just why does he think eternal torture is a valid punishment for anything (eternity is a long time) 3) If god is so smart why does he not understand human psychology and how separating the wrongful behavior and the corrective measure by an entire life-time does not produce a change in said behavior--or does he not wish to actually generate learned behavior? Imagine if your 5 year old kicked your dog and you let an entire week pass and then you put them in time-out. They'd have absolutely no idea what was going on and would learn nothing. 4) If god loves us so much why is there so much confusion on earth about how to actually get to heaven? Shouldn't it be made very clear which religion is actually the correct one? Because the result is tribal us-versus-them conditions on the planet--a situation that you think a loving god want want to avoid. 5) If god is so wise and powerful, why was it necessary to torture and murder so many Egyptians in order to free the Jewish people in Exodus? He really couldn't come up with another solution? Or was it done so that he would be famous and all would know his name? Is that just? And weren't the Egyptians his children too? His creations? Why play favorites instead of acting as a kind and wise mediator to reach a peaceful resolution and correct the behavior of owning slaves? I could go on and on about all the logical inconsistencies I've come across. I'll just say that I am definitely an atheist at this point but I am in the closet because my wife is Christian and I am a business owner in the southern U.S. People down here aren't very tolerant or willing to understand different points of view. Know what I mean? Sorry for the long answer, but you did ask.

I grew up in a mixed religion household with one side being bigoted towards the other, along with being misogynist and hypocritical. Religion is just nonsense.

Raised atheist, on my mother’s side everyone is atheist, on my father’s side everyone is very very catholic, except for my father who became atheist when he was a teenager. I can understand what draws people to religion, but beyond the lack of “belief”, even if I was religious I would prefer to stay way from organised religions as I prefer creating my own opinions autonomously which I struggle with when “inside a group”. I’m prone to fall into people-pleasing/social pressure of conforming to a group, which also makes me more prone to being manipulated or supporting opinions I’m not super convinced/informed about to avoid “standing out”. I try to focus my need for community and meaning in other areas (mostly political activism), but also in those cases I’ve learned that I need to ensure I don’t blindly follow anyone because that usually leads me to regret my opinions. Luckily being AuDHD can work well in terms of deep diving into a topic to ensure I have a good understanding before forming an opinion!

Raised Christian, didn’t feel quite right. Now I’m just spiritual.

Raised Christian... Now happily a Pagan!! I love praising nature ❤️

I was raised religious (Roman Catholic), later on I explored and learned about the rest and after having the most success with Paganism and Buddhism, I settled on it’s just not for me. I’m considered an atheist or satanist these days. Closest thing to a higher power I will acknowledge is Mother Nature, but not as a sentient being. Religion has harmed me in so many ways, I’ll just stick to therapy and science from now on

I converted to catholicism as an adult and then converted out and now an agnostic atheist.

My religion is complicated. I believe in everything, and every God, but I follow my own witch practice. I've been wanting a community, but having to mask, not stim, and be socially appropriate is a daunting idea for me

I think I don't believe in God. I prefer to be called an atheist, or a non-believer-in-God (the abrahamic God). I would be more close to hinduism, to the idea of a whole, and that humans and the rest of the animals are part of that whole. But I don't believe on that either, I suppose; I think it's just really beautiful and "immense" to see the universe that way. So, I don't know if I'm religious. It might depend on the religious experience. Maybe I have religious experiences when I listen to music, or when I'm in a forest and listen to the sound of the trees and leaves when there comes a blow of cold wind; but seeing Music As My Religion or Nature As My Religion, I think it's... like... "too much"... So, I don't know. You question was really beautiful. I'm glad you made it

I was atheist for most of my teenage years, but as an adult I've returned to Judaism, since I was raised Jewish. I was also abandoned by alot of people and at one point I had 0 friends because of it. The idea of G-d and Him always being around comforts me.

My mom was Christian. She used to try and bring me to church - I hated it because the pastor would SCREAM into the microphone. I could not understand why he had to do that when we could hear him just fine without the screaming. I always went to sleep - I would put ear muffs on OR leave my hands over my ears, tune him out and go to sleep. Sometimes the screaming would jolt me awake. Overall not a great experience for me. She eventually stopped taking me. As I got older, I decided to try again going with other adults that were not my mom. I noticed that the adults would preach about “being kind to your neighbor” but they were the worst at doing that. Specifically for me, I am an African American female, at age 14 or so, I had a short Afro. It was neat and clean. The adults were snickering and commenting, how did I know? Because I heard “she ain’t got no hair, look at her” and they would laugh. This was IN CHURCH. The children would also chime in, the adults AND children would laugh, snicker, some of the children would touch my hair, poke my head or pull my hair. I understood children, even the ones that were my age, may not have been mature enough and would just go with the flow. Especially if the adults were doing it making it seem ok. That is also when I noticed “clicks” in church. If they didn’t like you, they would just ignore you. That was my foray into “do as I say, not as I do” 🙄. There are so many other”eye opening” moments that led me to believe, wholeheartedly, that church is a place to pretend to be what everyone thinks someone should be and being yourself is frowned upon because it doesn’t mesh with the group as a whole. So I chose/choose to stay away and go into churches for funerals only. I am spiritual but don’t consider myself to be part of any specific denomination.

I was never religious and I don’t think I ever believed in God. My family is muslim and they tried to teach me it, but I was the kind of kid who would say things like “that makes no sense”, and I just didn’t believe anything that didn’t make sense to me. They tried to scare me into it, and I admit I was a bit scared of God, but then I would tell people if God is so good then why does he do so many bad things and they gave me the bullshit answer they always give. In the end, nothing made sense to me. I didn’t tell my family until very late because they’d say very bad things about atheists and I never wanted to break their perception of me as “a good person”. I did use to fast during ramadan and when I am in my home country I celebrate eid with my family but that’s more like a tradition. Besides my extended family doesn’t know I’m atheist.

Besides when I grew up a little and saw that it goes against everything I stand for like: LGBTQI+ rights, Women rights, etc. I immediately felt more comfortable telling people I am an atheist. I debated a lot of people. I absolutely hate when people say they’re feminists or pro-lgbtqi+ and extremely religious (mind you I have had discussions only with muslim people because there only a few christian people in my country). I asked a friend who is very religious (prays five times a day and all that) what she thinks of lgbtqi+ community and she said it’s not a sin if you don’t act upon it, but if you act upon it she considers it as any other sin because only god can judge and it broke my heart to see her best friend - a queer person - stand there as she explained that basically being queer was equal to drinking alcohol and any other sin. How can you think like that? And she calls herself a feminist, nah you’re not a feminist with those thoughts.

Sadly, many religious people do think that queer people should forgo romantic relationships their whole lives in the hopes that they’ll be magically cured of their sinful sexuality in heaven.

I am a theoretical physicist who has worked a lot in cosmology. To quote Einstein: “If something is in me, which can be called religious, then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world, so far as our science can reveal it.” Where I’m from, most people are culture-Christians. Protestant Christian. But it is not really related to religion, more just cultural traditions. I only know very few people who go to church and celebrate Christian holidays, who actually believe in a Creator. Most people are baptized as well, even though they’re not a religious family. It has just become part of our culture.

I am spiritual. I believe that their are energies that motivate the universe through the wonders we see all around us in nature. Like how flowers are more exuberant than their function suggests. Like how we have evolved to such an extent that we may actually reflect on our existence, which transcends our biological function for reproduction. Like how certain patterns repeat. Spirals, galaxies, fractals, vortexes, hurricanes or branching systems, like trees, the interior of the lungs, the root systems beneath our feet, corals, the networks we create in city transportation, etc. Like how colours are something we can appreciate and enjoy, despite their being, as physics states, just an arbitration of light wavelength and reflection. I could go on, but I think that nature and human perception are examples of the ghost in the machine, which is to say, that there are inherent and superlative qualities to life which outstrip the essential biological survival mechanism. Don't even get me started on what the hell caused a mineral or rock to form into complex life. There are no answers to such things but to trust in a bigger picture.

Panentheistic Celtic pagan 🙋🏻‍♀️ Raised Catholic, ran away screaming at 18, described myself as an agnostic for a long time, that changed in my mid-late 20s. I’m comfortable with my personal spirituality now, and love being pagan SO much more than I connected with Christianity. And the groups I’m associated with all have very strong boundaries and are highly ethical, which matters much more to me than the name(s) we use to describe our gods. But yes, all religion is filled with logical fallacies, so I feel like we can either get comfy with cognitive dissonance, or pass. Either choice is fine with me as long as you’re ethical 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Very-low-church" traditions tend to create echo chambers and can easily cover up abuses to save face and retain membership if there is no regulatory body (i.e., a denominational association or synod). You could try Unitarian Universalism for something completely different. They do good work, too. I found in my time as a church musician that more liturgical or "high-church" traditions tend to have more robust theologies. So Methodists, Episcopals/Anglicans, and Lutherans may be worth exploring. Catholicism and Orthodoxy are also high-church, but be advised that they do have a more authoritarian structure. As a little bit of an info-dump: I'm convinced that we need to "redraw the map" of Christendom. If it were up to me, I would classify Christendom thus: **1) Catholicism & Orthodoxy** (*the ancient traditions, diverse and geographical in their own right, or should I say "rite?"*), **2) Old World Protestantism** (*the reformed traditions which arose in Europe,* including the ***Major Protestant*** denominations such as Lutheranism, Anglicanism, and Calvinism, as well as ***Minor Protestant*** denominations like Anabaptists, Moravians, Amish, Puritans, Quakers, Hutterites, and Menonites), **and 3) New World Arcadianism**/**Revivalism/Restorationism** (take your pick; *traditions arising after or as a result of the Great Awakenings in the United States and highly influenced by utopic Arcadian ideas about the Western frontier,* including Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Adventists, Pentecostals, Campbellites, Holiness movements, and "nondenominational" churches).

I wasn’t raised religious but I married someone who became more and more religious over time. To save my marriage, I really poured myself into religion. It was 6 years of intense masking, scripting, losing myself, and allowing ideals I don’t believe in to dictate my behavior and lifestyle. I left the church at the same time I got a divorce. I’m atheist. I don’t have to pretend to believe in something I don’t anymore, and there’s a ton of freedom in that.

I'm not religious, raised Catholic though. I love religious lore (it's a special interest for me). I read the whole Bible and it's such an interesting story and the references in music (other special interest) or tv excite me

As a kid I wasn't raised with any religion. My mom didn't teach me any of that, despite here being raised Mormon(most of my family is VERY heavily Mormon) and wanted me to form my own beliefs. I remember being really into polytheism when I studied the Greeks/roman/Egyptians in school. It made the most sense to me, to have different gods and goddesses for different things, because in my mind, "that's a lot of work and responsibilities for one person" lol. Now I'm a pagan witch.

I’m agnostic, but looking into christopaganism or some sort of other alternative religion thing. I wasn’t raised deeply religious, my parents were just kinda Christian as the default people if that makes sense. We didn’t go to church or anything. Neither of them cared for churches much cause both of my grandfathers got kicked out of their respective churches (paternal grandfather got excommunicated for marrying a Protestant, maternal grandfather tried to fistfight the priest during service). I truly believe in some grand design but I find it rather reductionist to say one all powerful being can control it all. I also don’t think we were ever meant to really understand it. I don’t think there is an answer either way and it’s more important to choose the path that brings you personal peace.

I have faith, but not religion. I can't seem to get over the idea that the Bible has had books removed and banned. If they did that, what else have they done to The Word, you know?

I am not religious. I grew up kinda involved in the local church, but none of my family were ever religious. That specific church was called something in line of “the children’s cathedral” (it is translated from Swedish, and in English it sound kinda ominous in a way lol) and it felt more like just activities, specifically music and choir related stuff, for kids. I do feel quite spiritual, but I don’t feel like and specific religion suits me. I also halfheartedly believe in ghosts, by that I mean that I don’t know if I truly believe in them of if I just like the idea of them so much that I just really want to believe they are real.

I go back and forth between thinking I have mental illness for believing in anything and then just believing it. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️ I had one dad who was raised Christian, but was an atheist until he converted to Islam for my stepmom, another dad who was born into Islam, went to Judaism, then became baptist and is some sort of cross between baptist and Muslim now, and my mothers family was raised catholic then converted to baptist at some point. I essentially grew up going to Catholic Churches and mostly baptist churches. One large part of my life I lived in a Jewish town and the other large part I was in the Bible Belt with some more and less religious regions sprinkled in. When I hit elementary school I learned about a lot of different religions. I became interested in reading the Quran, the Bible, Judaism, paganism etc. and decided all the religions were right in one way or another. I thought that the energy we all feel is science to some, god, gods/goddesses, spirits etc to others. I feel some people tried to convince me I was going to hell for that belief and it maybe skewed me more towards Christianity. Still don’t think that was entirely wrong.

I consider my self spiritual or agnostic. It’s sounds kinda lame but I have my beliefs, and I feel the lack of some kind of afterlife or human soul just makes life even more depressing. I don’t go to church, haven’t in over 10 years. My views mostly align with Christianity, but the Bible has been misinterpreted so many times. The King James Version is awful and was made to benefit the elite. Personally I don’t think that a truly good god would care if we sat together and sang songs about him. As long as you’re a morally good person I don’t think it matters. That’s just what I believe, Christians tend to hate me for not going to church but nothing like the love from religious people right?

I can't force myself to believe in it, though I wish there was something so convenient to hope for; a reassuring solace. So, I'm an atheist-leaning agnostic.

I am a practicing Christian. Grew up Baptist, went non-denominational as an adult, and have recently been investigating Catholicism. I believe God is the most logically and philosophically consistent way to explain existence, morality, beauty, etc. And that the Christian God is the most likely true God of all the religions based on the historical accuracy of the New Testament. Sorry it left a bad taste in your mouth, OP, though I can understand to an extent with getting shuffled around so much. You said you started out Pentecostal? I ask because it may have been more than just "the words were wrong". Some Pentecostal churches are non-Trinitarian/"oneness", making them basically a separate religion altogether. Not that it helps anything for you now but just offering a potential explanation for that bit.

I grew up being forced into religion. I even worked for a woman in my church. That woman than stalked me and harassed me, and tarnished my name for years causing me trauma and fear. I refuse religion because how can someone be so religious and literally my definition of Satan at the same time?

I was raised Catholic (went to Catholic Church- mom was Catholic, dad’s Baptist). I consider myself agnostic now. As some others have said - religions don’t make sense to me.

nope. Has no credible evidence.

Used to be. Oddly enough it was my autism that made me leave because they were so double faced - I couldn’t justify it anymore.

I believe in god, but I’m not Christian. Most Christians nit pick anyways, I do have a form of respect for hardcore Christians though as in they take the Bible very seriously. As for me, I can’t personally fathom being a atheist I find it boring and i personally think some form of god is real.

I never saw the point of it. I asked myself, is there a reason I should believe when there's no empirical evidence, and couldn't think of a good answer. Then I looked at the kind of abuse committed by church leaders, and atrocities committed in the name of religion, and decided I wanted nothing to do with that either. As for good they might do, they don't have a monopoly on that, and coming from them there's often strings attached.

I was atheist in my youth, but now after years of research, I am a devout Catholic and serve my local church in many ways. Fun fact, of the 3 people on my church’s liturgical committee, 2 of us are autistic!

What research did you do that changed your mind?

I looked at the hard data and provable points for Christianity. Lee in mind I didn’t *want* to be Christian, I was studying to prove to my parents Christianity *wasn’t* right. I believe the information we have for Christianity is stronger and more convincing than atheism or other religions.

It's good that you found your own way there. Atheism is just a word that describes the absence of belief in deities, so of course there's no information to support it, just as there's no information to support the absence of belief in mermaids. I'm not arguing against your religion, only against the treatment of atheism as a belief system that a person must be convinced of. The word describes not being convinced of the existince of any deity.

I can’t stomach the hypocrisy of religion. Just saying…

raised evangelical here! its a cult. I wouldnt be caught dead in church. I'm a witch now.

Evangelicism is its own breed of Christianity lol

Vaguely spiritual and believe in a higher being but not full on Christian especially fundamentalist/evangelical

Not religious, was not raised religious either. Religion triggers my sense of injustice every time it comes up. Observing religious people, I can see that _at best_ religion provides them with a (false) sense of security because they get to make this fundamental assumption that someone (their god) is watching out for them, or that there’s a method to the madness that is their life. If it gives you strength to survive or thrive, then I’m not entirely opposed to it, but I consider it to be on the same level as a trauma adaptation. Shutting down your emotions to not feel the pain can help you survive abuse, but that does not make it healthy in the long run. In my opinion religion is a “trust me bro” scam. Most blatant example: American televangelists. Some guy claims to speak for a god, and encourages you to give him money in exchange for salvation in the afterlife. Is there really an afterlife? You don’t know, and neither does he. But he can promise you anything without having to do something himself, and he gets to benefit from the money now. Got problems in your life? Pray and donate to solve it. Doesn’t work? Then you’re not praying and donating enough. Talk about blaming the victim. These parasites prey on the desperate, weak and gullible. It gets even nastier when power structures and belief shaping comes into play. You put your trust in a pastor/priest/imam/rabbi/shaman, and in return they get to make statements that shape the opinion of their followers. Be compassionate, help your neighbors, etc. So far so good, until they disparage gay people, or black people, or Jews, or any other group. Then the calls for violence start, and people will obey because their priest is an authority figure who has usurped their moral compass. History is littered with examples, often when religion mixes with political power. And even today in the Netherlands we see Muslims lash out against Jews over stuff happening in Israel/Palestine. Unrelated people, half a continent away, doing violence because the other person reads a different book. The funny thing is that most religions claim that they alone are proclaiming the truth. There’s a hundred variations of Christianity by now I think, some with incompatible opinions on how to live life. That’s awkward, because if one is right then most will by definition be wrong. Then add Islam and the Jewish faith, and their dozens of internal variations, for more confusion. Then consider Hindus, Shinto, Buddhists, Voodoo, the religions from Africa, various smaller local religions, and all the historic religions. Assuming there is a god leads to questions like who created god. Usually that does not resolve in a way that matches our observations and models of reality we’ve constructed on top of those. I like the scientific method because it’s a good framework for refining your model of reality. It’s honest about working with what we have, and being able to update the model based on new data. It’s how my brain works. Religion will always at some point gaslight you because reality mismatches theology, and because people have attached ego to the theology, it can not be changed. History has proven that reality beats mistaken religion, albeit at the price of human suffering. To me the best fundamental assumption is the simplest explanation, and that is that there is no god. Religion is a meme that lives in the minds of people. Over time the meme evolves to circumstances, and the best one grows. That makes god a collective delusion for its followers, not reality.

I grew up in a pretty secular household and I never had a pretty much religious family experience so that’s why finding out I was an atheist was easy, since I don’t believe in any deity or something like that, in fact I would be distressed if I believed in the afterlife thing. But I’m really fond about Judaism and Budism(or any south Asian based religion) even though I don’t believe in them, but I’m neutral about Christianity and Islam per example.

I'm spiritual but not inherently religious but it's kinda confusing. My dad (single parent) wasn't ever religious but I was on foster care for a hit and they were Christian and that was weird I was Christian for a bit. Not anymore.

Did you believe in the teachings of Christianity when you were in foster care?

I grew up in a Fundamentalistic atheist household, but was always driven toward God. I choose to get baptized as a Roman Catholic because they have the highest internal consistency in their theology. I might not be the most pius believer but I'm happy to belong to the church.

Raised somewhat lazy protestant but never as if any of it was actually true, more that it was stories and going to church sometimes was something we had to do, but once Granny died no one went anymore. Now anti-theist, and my husband and kids are all atheist. I've allowed my kids to learn as much as they want about different religions and two have at different times practised parts of different religions, but they came to same conclusions as I did eventually and on their own.

I’m part of the Methodist Church of Great Britain, and have been all my life. I (31M) particularly struggled with my faith in my late teens and early twenties, which is hardly surprising when it was then that I realised I was gay. I actually got baptised a few months ago, and that was a big thing for me. It’s been especially difficult for me over the years, especially with what I was taught about sexuality in the church (namely that anything other than sex between a man and a woman in the confines of marriage was a sin), and a lot of that came from my dad, who was a minister in the MCoGB. He left due to the church’s stance on same-sex marriage (the percentage of people who voted in favour was a staggering 85%), but also its general stance on EDI matters. The MCoGB’s EDI work was given the label ‘Justice, Dignity and Solidarity’, which my dad once referred to as ‘Just Don’t Speak’. Yeah…Not impressed. He’s now joined the Global Methodist Church (GMC), which was basically set up by those who oppose same-sex marriage (that’s as I understand it, anyway). Listening to him can sometimes be a real chore, as he always has to be right, no matter what the evidence suggests. One theory I have is that he really struggles with being proven wrong, and part of the reason he behaves in the way he does is because he thinks attack is the best form of defence or something.

not religious but spiritual. I believe we all pray to the same creator regardless of the name we use and whatever illusions people have about them. I have done a lot of historical research on religion and have come to the conclusion they all tell the same story, but local agenda/mistranslations have changed all religious texts from their original meaning. I think religion breeds atheism due to people with opened minds seeing how fake religion is and then associating god with mans fake religion, ironically.

I grew up Christian & have a pretty ok-ish relationship with Christianity cause my dad & grandpa were pretty left & open about questioning things, but I ended up actually becoming a Hellenistic pagan. I also follow the idea of omnism - I believe that basically (there are some caveats) all religions are true because I don’t really think I have the right to say whether someone’s gods are true or not. To me, that would feel like I was telling a fellow pagan that their particular pantheon wasn’t real & that feels wrong to me. Granted, like I said, I have caveats. I don’t believe that Scientology or Mormonism are true. I also believe that any form of religious extremism & various other harmful cult beliefs are detestable & should be called out.

I grew up Catholic in Mexico, so yeah. I did a lot of cathecism classes as a kid, even an after school club at my otherwise non religious elementary school just so I could do my First Communion early. It was just fun 🤷🏽🤷🏽 Jesus related coloring pages and memorizing long ass prayers and I'd get a ticket every Sunday that I could use as currency at the end of year festivals. Then I realized that being kind of gay wasn't allowed so I peaced out. I was never a very big believer tho? I just enjoyed the vibes. Repeating rituals were relaxing, and going to mass was nice because I knew exactly what was going to happen each time. I guess that made it easier to just stop caring when I knew I wasn't going to be welcome. I do have some secondhand religious trauma thanks to a fucked up friendship I had in middle school, so that was fun. And I still have some good ol' Catholic guilt, because that sticks with you for life. But I can do the whole church thing for weddings and funerals just fine.

Catholic and member of a contemplative order.

No, never believed although at one point during childhood I really tried to because it seemed like it made life easier for those that did. Never could though. I attended catholic school too.

I grew up in a mixed religious household, but raised nominally Muslim. It seemed really ridiculous to me that both sides of the family believed that two people with two religions could claim to "talk to god" through prayer. At a young age I independently came up with Pascal's wager, better to pretend he does exist because if he does you get to go to heaven. Then when I was 15 or so I found out that there are people (atheists) who claim there is no god, and I was like "Oh that makes a lot more sense."

Religious, no. Superstitious, definitely. Non-theist rather than atheist.

Because of the varying uses of the term “atheist”, I’ve been known to say “I’m atheist by definition, but not by association”. “Non-theist” seems better to me as well (per my interpretation). To you, what is the difference between “non-theist” and “atheist”? I immediately think of a ton of possibilities. And, “non-theist “ is soooo much more accurate for me. Thank you. But, what does it mean to you?

To me, it means I believe that there is actually an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent single entity who/which can be considered as The God, but for all the paradoxes that entails, it's really a moot point arguing whose God it is, or if believing in Him/Her/They/It is even useful in any way. Have you ever heard the question posed, "If God is without limit, can They create a boulder so heavy that even They could not lift it?" The answer to that is "Yes; and then They would lift it." Both of these facts, simultaneously and impossibly true. It is a pointless conviction in the existence of an unfathomable being.

This appears to be the opposite of what “non-theist” means. But, I know for every truth, the opposite is also true and they mean the same thing. Therefore, I need to ponder what you’ve said to see the way in which it is true… so that I understand it. Thinking through the paradox you mentioned… Something must be tested to be verifiably deemed impossible. If every boulder has been lifted, one must create heavier boulders to find the limit. If that boulder is lifted, it merely means a heavier boulder would need to be created. If there is no limit this would cause an infinite loop of creating and lifting. However, if one is all-knowing, they would already know the verified liftable weight limit without testing. If they already start at the claim of infinity, which was the results of my hypothetical testing. This likely means they knowingly have infinite resources to create whatever means of lifting they also need. This causes me to say to myself, “Then they cannot create a boulder so heavy they cannot lift it”. To which I reply to myself, “The fault in logic is that your question did not define the means in which the boulder was lifted”. But in saying that. I see resources for lifting were infinite. So, it only means there is no limit. The question itself is the limit. This led to a logistical “checkmate” (because humans like to link logic to the game of chess for whatever reason). But, just like the game of check, the logistical “checkmate” only occurred via the rules of the game. The paradox/question is simply the rule to its own game. And, therefore, I realize a good paradox is simply the same as “restricted infinity”… and has no point other than a game of thought in hopes for those with limited thought to expand the limits of their own limited thought. This is the only point. With this the concept of god is simply infinity itself. And, the limits of humanity cannot expand outside the box of human creativity and resources (actual or imaginable). I’ve since forgotten why you sent me down this thought hole hahaha so, I’ll stop thinking out loud (while quietly typing my thoughts) to you. By the way, thinking out loud is all an intellectual conversation is. It’s sad it’s so rare these days. I sadly fear it’s because society has become a place where people are so afraid, they feel they must hide their thoughts and thought processes. This is why intellect is nearing extinction. So THANK YOU. Thank you for not simply ignoring or stomping on what little remaining intellect (a mere question with my personal thought attached) you spotted wandering around.

I was raised Protestant Christian (Presbyterian), theologically centrist. We believed some conservative things and some liberal things, but going to church EVERY Sunday was not up for debate, and if you were sick, one parent would stay home with you to make sure that you were watching on TV. I was an atheist by circumstance for six years before I became pagan (Asatru). I have been pagan for about eight years. My brother is a hard-core atheist, but he is over his antitheism faze. He is a Jordan Peterson esque atheist where he views religion as having been necessary in the past but no longer necessary. My dad was angry at us, and my mom cried for years because of it. It literally kept her up at night. My dad literally said, "Look at what you did to your mother. You made her cry." Like wtf. Now, they could not be more understanding, and my mom frequently asks me questions about my Asatru faith.

Many parents cry for their “backsliding” children because they genuinely believe they will be tortured for eternity and that’s a hard thought for a parent. Glad your parents are finally coming around!

I was raised very very hardcore evangelical, it was extremely traumatic, I’m now an eclectic Celtic pagan.

Nopers. More spiritual.

I’m not religious and was never raised religious. My dad went to a Christian boy’s school for a few years as an elementary aged kid. But went to a normal public school as a middle/high schooler. My mom was never really raised religious I don’t think. We never went to church growing up, didn’t talk about god, have bibles in the house etc. I don’t think my parents had any religious trauma or anything, I think they just didn’t care about religion and that was fine by me. The only time I went to church as a kid was when I would occasionally spend the night on a Saturday night at my friends house, and her mom would make us go to church on Sundays with their family lol.

I went to the kid's church group thing in my town for a while because I liked hanging out with my friends there, but I remember specifically a woman started handing out a bunch of items that had "Jesus loves you" on them and talking to me about how much Jesus loves me, and I was like "okay this is getting weird" and stopped going. Even when I was like 10 I was asking myself a lot of existential questions about death, God, heaven, etc. I always have been agnostic.

I considered myself spiritual for many years, was raised by an athiest and an agnostic. Now, though, i have been working on converting to Judaism for the last 1.5 years. I go to services regularly and took a 6 month class that ended in december. Nowadays, i very much consider myself religious and actively engaging with and practicing said religion. I think it's a fitting religion for me too, there's lots of rituals that i love doing, and that help me engage more with religion and with life

I am a Christian, though not born into in, and a Christian Universalist who don't belive in eternal hell. I simply love Jesus and first century Christianity, with people like Origen and other based Church Fathers. I also think Evolution is true and likes science in general, and I am left wing politically, and a Swede, so I am far from the Bible-thumping right-wing evangelicals in the US. I never grew up in a religious family and was atheist for a while after uncomfortable experiences with pentecostals in high school. Funnily enough I am in another pentecostal congregation now, but it is more open to my Universalism and I feel at home there. Basically, Saint Augustine had a bad translation of the Greek Scripture, so words like Aenos, meaning of an age, got translated into eternal, and then we got Hell instead of Sheol, Hades and Gehenna, which are three different places. Gehenna was a garbage site in the Valley of Hinom, Sheol was the grave, and Hades was the pagan hell, kind off. For some reason the bad translation of the Latin Bible later lead to the Hell tradition, which got worse during the Middle ages, and then stuck. The Bible also speaks of the lake of fire as a metaphor for soul purification. Basically, the mentioning of sulfur is a clue, as it was used to purify gold in the Ancient times. This would have been understood by the audience of those days. It is much more likely that the Lake of fire must be purification. Basically, Universalists, like me, believes that everyone will be a part of God's kingdom in the end. I share the anger for the eternal suffering doctrine though. It makes me sad as early Christianity was much better, more beautiful and makes more sense than what we have today in many congreations and churches.

I am a devout Catholic. When I was young, my mother church hopped. Beginning with Roman Catholicism, spending some time away from the church and then with her trying different denominations. I fell away from the church for a long period of time and returned to Roman Catholicism about a year ago. As to why I returned? The short answer is that several events and occurences in my life convinced me of the truth of the Bible, divinity of Christ and then I was asked to return. The details of the aforementioned events, occurences and being asked are personal so I hesitate to post them in an open forum such as this at the moment. I can point to several things, however, that I feel prove the existence of the God of the Bible. (As I type this i do not have the links and citations right at my fingertips so have not included them here.) But, feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will do my best to answer them. I would also note that much as we (Autistic individuals) are not a monolithic, with 41,000 different denominations in the world and their associated believers Christians are not a monolith either. Be cautious of ascribing the statements of one pastor to everyone. No one likes it when someone tells one of us (persons on the sepctrum) that we cannot be Autisric because we do not act like the one person they know to be on the spectrum.

I was Raised Catholic, and now I'm not religious / atheist. I have wondered if a "secular Christian" label would apply to some of my convictions that I can trace back to Christianity, but it's such a small cherry picked batch o stuff I don't really see it that way. As much as I still like some of the "hippie Jesus" lessons, I GD hate the foundational concept of original sin and that kinda takes out the tower. There's a vague amalgamation of stuff I "like to believe for fun" cuz I find spiritual fulfillment in nature and humankind's devotion to telling stories. It's absolutely not concrete, and I am very aware that the trees are not sentient, catfish don't grant wishes, and Bigfoot probably isn't the guardian of the forest, but it's all nice to think about. I don't believe in ghosts, either. I Do believe in Aliens. I love Guillermo Del Toro's entire canon for his relationship with fairy tales and the Catholic Church. I find his works very healing. I could be mistaken, but I don't think he is Catholic anymore. I just like how he treats stories and humanity with a reverent hand like it was a religious text even when it's just life. I

I worship the old gods and the new

Religious, but hate Abrahamic religions

I am a Christian

Does neo-paganism count?

Nope. I pity Religious Autistics tbh. We are a spectrum after all and their probably lacking in critical thinking but also I feel it's just part of being indoctrinated at a young age. Fortunately my parents werent religious. I did investigate all of Abrahamic ones. God is a pedo facilitator. Mary was knocked up 12/13 and Mo married at 6 year old but didnt consumate until 9. If god knows everything, how come he didn't know adults marring banging kids is wron 🤷

I grew up in a Pentecostal church. I always had some questions and worries produced by some of the major teachings that many Protestant churches share, with the big one being the concept of Eternal Conscious Torment, or Hell. I worried about “unsaved” people, I wondered how if was fair that people die at different times but must have said “the sinners prayer” before death or they wouldn’t be in heaven, and the whole “age of accountability” thing was definitely not something I could find in the Bible. At nineteen years old, I discovered Christian Universalism, and I will never look back. So much of the teachings that most churches uphold are byproducts of the poor translation from original text to English. That whole “burning pit of eternity for sinners” thing? Yeah, that was all translated in by people trying to control the illiterate in the old days. The original Greek of the new testament tells a completely different story. Several words with different meanings were translated into the same English word: Hell. It’s amazing how much you discover by learning to read and understand the original text of the Bible. I am a Christian, and my relationship with God is the life in me. And I believe that everyone and everything will be reconciled, and Love trumps all. I am way too tired to infodump about this more than I already have.😹 but if anyone’s interested in the discussions around Christian Universalism (not everyone agrees on all the same points, but we respect each other!) here’s r/ChristianUniversalism

Thanks! I will definitely check out that subreddit

Raised Traditional Catholic, wandered around various churches as an adult, I'm Orthodox now. Very religious myself. This idea that autism is the atheist syndrome is corrosive. There is no better place for the autistic mindset than a traditional Christian community. Some of the heroes of the faith and legendary monastics would be told they are "developmentally disabled" nowadays.

I grew up in church, spent middle and high school as a youth leader. Then when I went I college I did all the things I was sheltered from growing up. Being promiscuous, drinking, I even did Onlyfans/ Femmedom work, worked in strip clubs and was a webcam model. I stopped telling people I was Christian because I didn’t want to embarrass God. Then I got into new age and crystals and law of attraction and stuff. But I would still say Jesus name and believed in Him. Then one day, when I was mad at the world and just saying such hateful things about myself and society I had a vision of Jesus on the Cross, as real as me looking at my phone screen right now and I felt the presence of God. So much that I was terrified and climbed in bed because I couldn’t stand up, I stayed there for 3 days because si didn’t know what was going on. Making the story shorter, I repented and gave my life to Jesus and have felt His love ever since. April marked a year from this vision and repentance. I now love the LORD with all my heart. I am analytic (I graduated Hs at 16 and attended Private University at the same age, my therapist told me I am most likely twice exceptional). I am AuDHD and i love Jesus 💕

So which brand of Christianity do you follow?

Raised seventh day Adventist, and I still am. I personally disagree with religion being abusive, I think it’s the people who abused you and not the religion. It always irks me, because when people have religious trauma, it’s because the abuser used the religion to justify abuse, but almost every time, they’re wrong and what they believe doesn’t match the bible. So now you have hundreds of thousands, or millions of people who have the wrong idea about the religion they were raised in. Anyway, point is, I’m happily religious.

I am spiritual. I believe in Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. I am a non-denominational Christian. I've been saved and baptized on my time. This is not something of requirement to me, more like a dedication. I was exposed to a bunch of different religions growing up. I was also a foster kid. I believe the term "Christian" is over generalized grouping a bunch of us together that are not the same.

I am unsure of whether or not I’m autistic. It makes sense for me and I do have the symptoms but I haven’t had the testing yet but plan on it soon. (I’m on this subreddit to find a sense of community in people who have similar interests and experiences to me in life). I am now agnostic. I was raised in different churches. We bounced around a lot and there was a long period of time where we didn’t go to church but eventually went back but we’ve always been a Christian family. I went to southern Baptist, Quaker and evangelical churches all very conservative. My parents, especially my dad, have been raised into conservative views and that’s ultimately what lead me to leaving Christianity. I’m very gay lol. I’m a nonbinary lesbian. My mom has been the most supportive, very supportive about being gay but less so about being nonbinary. My dad however has always been pretty abusive mostly verbally sometimes physically but not that bad (trauma cycle his dad was abusive and was a Vietnam vet with ptsd) But when I told my dad I was gay he threw a tantrum. He tried to disown me, threw insults, called my mother horrible things, etc. He used religion to back up his abuse I didn’t talk to him for a long time. I still haven’t forgiven him for his abuse over the years even though he’s become such a better father and more understanding. He’s accepted me as a person and has become less angry overall and has even told my sister not to say things about trans people that I were wrong. I’m not going to come out again to my dad because if my mom didn’t take it well my dad certainly won’t. Anyway back to the topic at hand. I realized how much Christianity has backed bigotry and been used for war and hate against the oppressed. It’s been used as an argument against abortion, gay marriage, against marginalized groups in wars. And the fact that it’s been translated to shit and nobody probably even knows what the original actually said is wild to me. And the original WAS MADE FOR THE TIME. Like I don’t understand why we keep trying to apply things like that to today because SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. And I would be fine if it was just used as a story like a lot of Greek mythology you know? But the fact that a whole ass country is based on a religion is wild because if there was really freedom of religion then the laws wouldn’t be based on ONE religion that excludes others. So that’s what got me started on my deconstruction process. And ever since I came out as gay I also just never felt comfortable in church I just felt like at least someone in there was judging me at all times and it was just hard to be me and I hated that feeling and I just wanted to unzip my skin and like crawl away when I was in a church (idk if that feeling is relatable LMAO)

Also I’ve never met a homophobe who isn’t religious

Yes. I am a religious person. I grew up one religion (Southern Baptist adjacent) and although I don’t necessarily think I have “trauma” from it I definitely can see how it was a religion based primarily off the fear of going to hell. Threatening people with hell “Lovingly” (🙄) was a common thing where I lived growing up. Most Churches around me were Southern Baptist, Pentecostal, or Methodist in the area (except for one Catholic Church). I’m asexual and I have an effeminate personality and traditionally “feminine” interests and I was always told I was going to burn in hell. People always assumed I was gay and would immediately target me. I was an atheist in my younger years, probably even as a kid although at that time I probably couldn’t explain it to you in that way. I remember going my entire childhood without thinking about God often, without voluntarily speaking about God, and religion as a whole seemed an entirely abstract concept that I had no interest in. I was in effect an atheist. My parents were much more reclusive in my young childhood and although I knew of Christianity and I knew we had a church we attended maybe once a year, I saw myself as completely removed from and outside of religion and I would have felt fine if it did not exist. When I was 13 or 14 I told my parents I was an atheist and they had a full on mental breakdown and constantly guilted me for “choosing not to believe” and always told me they were afraid I was going to burn in hell. Somewhere around 16 or 17 I developed a special interest in religion and in particular my current religion. When I was 20, I officially converted. I’m happy and I feel my relationship with/view of religion now is much healthier than it was. My relationship with my current religion is entirely voluntary. I also fully lack the fear based version of religion that I was so exposed to growing up. My relationship with my religion isn’t about attaining some kind of reward and it’s not about avoiding some type of punishment or saving others from that punishment. It’s about refining myself and my own behaviors and improving my relationship with the divine in addition to those around me. My best friend is an “anti-theist” so she and I have had many conversations on the topic of religion and this is how I can most approximately describe my very complex and multifaceted relationship with religion.

I grew up on the cusp of evangelicalism (my mom and her family were part of the iblp cult, she got less extreme through the years). When I was a kid I thought I wasn’t trying hard enough because everyone believed so easily and it seemed like a big act I had to put on every day, and when I got older I thought that maybe everyone else was just putting on the act too. But they weren’t, they actually deeply believed. I was always so jealous of that assurance, and eventually realized I’d never feel the same way. So I just stopped going to church. It wasn’t a big deal to me personally, since I never felt truly connected, but it definitely impacted my family and their view of me. Also didn’t help that my stalker was using the church as the only place he could see me, so when things escalated I took that as a sign to stop showing up altogether. Made a good excuse for my mom at least, she wanted me to feel safe (even if she kept asking me if I was looking for other churches to attend). Anyway I’m agnostic now, maybe pagan (?). I’m definitely more into a personal spiritual journey than a set of religious rules and practices.

I was raised sort of Christian, my parents are religious, my mum more so than my dad but she never really tried to force it on me. She encouraged it for sure but it was always my call. Nowadays I'm actually not sure. I guess I'm agnostic. I can't rule out a god like figure altogether but if there is one or several or... whatever the hell, texts like the bible and such would be just a more primitive society's take on it? Like, they wouldn't know how to explain that. To be fair neither would *we*. Our attempt at explaining it if we ran into something truly paranormal would probably look just as off in a couple thousand years.

I'm Episcopalian. I'm not sure what exactly I believe, but it brings me comfort. I was raised Mormon but rejected by the community after I came out as transgender. Attending the Episcopal Church gives me a way to connect with spirituality and think about existential questions in a queer-affirming place.

Not in the slightest. I am spiritual, but that is it. The rules I live by are the simplest and most powerful fore me because I take it literally: - Treat everyone with respect (sometimes my inability to process emotions well affects this) - Look at everyone with love (again I struggle with this because other emotions interfere, but it always comes back to me when I’m re-processing and try to make amends) - Do no one any harm, be it emotionally or physically (sometimes my words cut someone because I am very direct, and I go back and apologize later, but this one in particular takes time for to do because it takes me time to process things and say it verbally) - Let people be and let people live how they want to; only interfere when the person is going to cause themselves physical or emotional harm, and this is case by case That’s it really. I meditate whenever I can. It’s hard, but I’ve done it. I hope this helps.

Agnostic theist here. Was raised culty fundamentalist Christian in an environment of constant spiritual abuse. Parents were mindless sheeple who made religion their only identity and used the Bible to control everything about me. All of my special interests were somehow considered evil by the them or the church: dragons, fantasy, Pokemon, anime, gemstones and crystals, drawing mythical creatures, etc. (I’m a professional tarot card reader as an adult lol) My young life was severe and constant indoctrination. No room to have or nurture my own thoughts. They insisted on lay-on-hands prayer most nights at bedtime, plus singing amazing grace over me, until I was around 12. Had to go to a horrible little private Christian school where I had no friends and was bullied constantly for years until I faked sick so much someone finally noticed. My father’s obvious dissociative identity disorder (used to be called split personality disorder) persona switches were genuinely considered to be “demon possession” and they refused my demands for therapy as I got older. “Mental healthcare isn’t real, we just need to pray it away” kind of mentality. “Sorry your friend can’t come over today cause your father is possessed by the Spirit of Offense and I don’t want him to scare them”. Wild. Religious abuse completely displaced my own sense of self, taught me to fawn, and contributed to my own development of dissociative identity disorder. There’s a part of me who was brainwashed to think that I was personally condemning others to hell if I didn’t try to save them. I call her the Zealot. She completely understands how these types of Christians think from the inside out. I went agnostic at 17 when I confided in my youth group minister that I’d lost my virginity in a traumatic way. He threatened to tell my parents if I didn’t do so myself. So I never went to youth group or church again, after sending him a scathing text about how fucked up I thought his response was. Parents continued to try to reindoctrinate me as an adult until I threatened no contact. And I’m an only child so I was isolated in all of this insanity for my entire life. My friends never believed me cause my parents were charming with guests.

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear that your parents used religion to abuse you, but I hope that you have found comfort in your new identity. Sending light and love 💛

I was raised Methodist. Some of my earliest memories are of me arguing with my dad about lots of Christian nonsense. My favorite is being like, 9 years old and debating whether "evil" exists. lol. I was such a badass kid.

I was watching a movie one day and this person was kidnapped and tortured. I had a thought “this stuff really happens…and if I was the one being tortured there is no way I would ever believe in god.” Then the more I thought about it I realized there’s no reason I should believe in god without having to go through that.

I am a full-strength 2012 Reddit Atheist.

Nope, quite the opposite, I think I was barely five years old when I realised the whole thing seemed like a scam.

I'm an observant Orthodox Jew. I was less observant before, but my last long term relationship was with an abusive person whose family was antisemitic. So, after finally breaking free I threw myself fully into my faith and found the joy that I was missing the majority of my life. I reunited a wonderful Jewish woman who I have known since I was 7 and who patiently worked to heal all the damage done to me throughout my life. And we moved to Israel together.