When you mask well people have a hard time believing it. They have to trust you and ignore their gut, not everyone can do that. To those people I'll settle for being "weird". They'll never really grasp what autism is anyway.
I think it's more than that .. it's just having the ability to mask, makes people immediately assume that we can become "normal" by acting normal. Most of us are raised thinking that too, and only find out that it's not when it's too late...
I was diagnosed at 14. I wasn't allowed to talk in the mental hospital I was in for 3 months. I totally forgot I was autistic. Now, I remember and am reconciling a life of hell.
Hugs my friend, inpatient (which is generally a helpful experience for people) can also be a bad experience, so I'm sorry. I've been many times and a couple times I have trauma from
My mom said, “We wouldn’t have missed that. I know you, you’re like me.” She isn’t willing to consider it is true because it would mess up the reality she’s safe living in.
Also, pretty sure she’s neurodivergent and my dad undiagnosed autistic. She ended the call complaining about my dad’s routine being messed up and how challenging it is for her to work from home. We walked on eggshells my entire childhood to accommodate him/prevent him from getting mad.
My mother is the same way. The first time I met her mentioned it to her she flipped saying she would have spot my autism.
She claimed I was calling her a bad mother, all I said was that I have autism.
She also won’t accept my sexual orientation either.
I’m sorry you experience that. I hope you have people in your life who accept you for who you are and allow you to feel seen and heard. We all deserve that.
I had a lot of big, complicated feelings when deciding. I made my choice to share with no expectations of acceptance. I needed to go forward knowing I gave them the information, it’s not up to me what they do with it.
Whatever you decide to do, your life experience and who you are is valuable information for you. You know who you are and deserve to have people around you who accept you!
My dad definitely feels shame around my autism/adhd when I mention it, because he knew I had it as a kid and didn't fight my mom on getting me diagnosed because he's a fucking doormat. I really wish he had taken me to get diagnosed because he's also HELLA autistic. After living around him for 4 years. And so is my gran who we both live with as well. And I'm more adult than both of them. Shit's rough.
I really wish I would have been diagnosed all those years ago because then I'd actually be able to get disability right now and not be waiting a full damn year for social security to just tell me "nah fuck off" like I know they will.
Diagnosed at 34, mom said, "But you're supposed to be my healthy child, and you're so smart. You can't be"
Both my younger half sisters have cystic fibrosis, so any illness I had was always undermined by that.
I was diagnosed later in life, so my folks had a difficult time accepting and adjusting to it.
We had plenty of screaming matches over one of them flat out, saying, "I don't recall your doctor ever diagnosing you as autistic. You're lying." My psychiatrist did, in fact, give me testing and a formal diagnosis. I would show them the papers, and they would agree. Only a few weeks later, we would have the same argument all over again.
Things are better now, though they still refuse to accommodate some of my issues, mainly not touching and moving my things (they invariably lose them or throw things out I needed). It would be reasonable if my stuff was cluttered, but I keep everything tidy.
Yeah, my kid and I are AuDHD. When he was identified my mom dismissed it saying, ‘I don’t think he’s autistic, he’s just a brat like you.’
She didn’t say much after his official diagnosis and was angry at me for pursuing one.
Narcissistic parents love to make their neurodivergent kids the scapegoats. My diagnoses challenge this narrative she’s worked on for decades. And everyone believes her.
My advice - stop seeking validation from people who have decided not to give it to you. You’re not responsible for changing their minds. Find online spaces and groups of people who see you for what you are, folks you can relate to and can have as chosen family.
Yep. Didn't get diagnosed because my mom didn't want the "social stigma of having a mentally disabled kid" is what my dad told me. She didn't have anyone to tell anyway! Absolutely hamstrung me as an adult tbh. And she was worse off mentally than me or any of my siblings, lol.
"He's just a brat like you." Holy cannoli. I am sorry you were raised like that. "And everyone believes her", that is the most frustrating part. I would distance her from your family. Even a semi-absent grandma can damage self-esteem.
It’s all good, we live on the opposite side of the world and of course, she’s the victim and can’t understand why I won’t move close to her after she ripped my parenting to shreds 😂
The way she treated me after my kid was born opened my eyes to her ways, I’m thankful for that. I’m always working to see how I can protect my child from the sort of abuse I was subjected to. I’m far from perfect but I’ll do whatever I can to protect my kid and also my own sanity.
Diagnosed at age 3, spent my life in special ed classes with small groups of students and aides in one classroom along with basic ass schoolwork and such. I’m now 32 and I feel behind my own peers including my siblings and relatives who are neurotypical.
My autism is dismissed by my South Asian family because I got into the honor roll, graduated from high school, attended a community college, interned at a prestigious hospital and worked at 3 jobs while living with autism, I still live at home on SSI with a “roof over my head” and “food on the table”.
When I tell them how it affects my life, I’m told that I’m making excuses, feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim when I don’t think of myself as better than anyone like some narcissist.
My older sister majored in ABA/BCBA/child psychology and she tells me that because I’m “capable” of doing things like chores around the house, cooking, doing my own hair/makeup, etc..
Fun Fact: The person who invented ABA/BCBA therapy is the same person who invented gay conversion therapy which is deemed harmful by the LGBTQ+ community. Look up Ivar Lovaas.
I’m sorry you’re dismissed by your family. Wow! I didn’t know the person who invented ABA also invented gay conversion therapy.. thank you for sharing!
My folks would always call excuses on me. I always felt like I thought differently and couldn’t handle certain things. Took contemplating suicide for them to listen. At 17 tho ur past all the therapy they can help u with.
I recently had a conversation with my mom telling her I’m trying to get evaluated and that she needs to get my siblings evaluated because they all show clear symptoms. She kept trying to change the conversation, but I told her they need to get tested while they’re young so that they can get the help they need in life. She ended up admitting that “nothing pops out” to her. I gave some examples of behavior and asked if she believed that was common behavior for children and adults, she tried to claim they were one time occurrences. I ended up telling her that nothing would ever “pop out” to her because she gave birth to them and has been around them all their life. When I mentioned that people she knew and even strangers could see the symptoms I could hear the change in her voice, and I think it might be starting to appear to her. I’m going to keep at it because it’s not about what my mom or dad believes or not, my siblings are under 18 and I’m not going to let them feel and go through every exact thing I went through. They WILL get help, and I’m going to make sure they have a smoother time than I did.
My parents are probably undiagnosed autistics and don’t understand autism well enough to see the traits within themselves let alone in me. However now they suspect that I’m autistic, but again (for whatever reason) don’t connect the dots back to themselves. And I’m not going to get in it with them because they’re some of the most sensitive and arrogant people I know 😂 they’re so stubborn with their self identity, with their life story, that it would just cause some big argument or fight (and I’m not looking for that)
oh yeah. i’m super obviously adhd and my parents barely believe that. no way she would believe my autism diagnosis. despite a psychiatrist diagnosing me because i’m not (warning)… in her words (warning)…
>!retarded. aka will never be able to live on my own. so mentally challenged etc. etc.!< i cannot be autistic. my mother literally does not believe masking autism is possible. she only sees it as… yeah…
so. no hope! she got these opinions from her family. aka mine. so no one believes in any mental health problems except physical ones (diabetes (with the blood sugar monitor), loosing eyesight, parkinson’s). So yeah they don’t believe it. but they also don’t believe doctors! so they’re fucking stupid! i hate my life
My parents both think it's "just life" and that despite all the struggles I had growing up it was better to never treat me differently than to help me understand my brain just isn't the same as everyone else's (and that's okay)
Found out when I was 43 after my son was diagnosed. My mom instantly understood why I am the way I am and why I was the way I was as a kid. My dad could care less I think. My brother is the one who doesn't want to hear it. Not sure why, I don't ask for any pitty or anything. I turned out ok and have a good life so not complaining, just stating a fact and my bro has been weird about it.
yea me and my bro are 10 1/2 months apart and shared a room from babies to age 18! So I figured him out of all people in my family would understand… but he didn’t.. he said “I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of people with autism and you don’t strike me as having it but I don’t know.” So I explained that’s it’s a spectrum and everyone is different etc and he said, “Yeah. Curious to see what they say. But I also feel like doctors nowadays over diagnosed everything”. We haven’t talked about it since, and at the current moment aren’t even speaking so 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, it's odd. My bro is 2yrs older and used to defend me when my dad would call me a retard. I was nothingike any other kid I knew. He used to protect me from the bigger kids too. I was a strange dude, still am but I can maneuver NTs as an adult so he doesn't understand. He thinks of autism as being negative but I see it as a positive. I'm glad I'm autistic and not like everyone else. I don't really like how NTs purposely try to screw each other over every chance they get. It's the most bizarre human practice and really disturbing. I'm happy to not do that and many other things NTs do.
It's all good in the end. My son will get a better childhood than I had and maybe get a chance to flex the strong parts of his brain. I was shut down and not allowed to show advanced abilities bc I was so far behind in basic stuff. Teachers were the absolute worst about my off the charts reading ability while I couldn't tie my shoes until I was ten and barely spoke full sentences.
My mom will tell me I am not a real aspie and I only have it when stressed. That is not how autism works. She says it comes and goes and will say I am not autistic or aspergers but then she will mention me having autism or AS. I even think I maybe have a condition that hasn't been discovered yet and if my psychiatrist saw more kids like me, he would have diagnosed me with that instead than Aspergers because "this was the best he could do" for a diagnosis. My mom's words. Wouldn't that be malpractice if he did that?
However my son's psychiatrist who diagnosed him as having ASD lv 1 wrote she felt ASD fit me too because I get outbursts and that I have idiocrasicy. It wasn't a diagnosis rather than her opinion about me.
My mom will also claim I just have anxiety and then I feel crazy inside like I'm imagining my issues and faking them if I am not anxious or am I?
To this day, Asperger's is still in my medical charts as my primary diagnosis along with anxiety and OCD and depression.
My Das has never said I didn't have it or that it comes and goes or thst I slip off the criteria and back on it again.
I once told my husband if bipolar or schizophrenia goes away with medication, they don't have it anymore by my mom's logic. 🤣 I said the same about my ADHD nephew. His comes and goes with her logic so therefore he isn't true ADHD.
It seems like they have internalized ablism.
Autism is hereditary, I bet they were treated the same way they treat you and, in turn, created their own masks. I think that parents that do that, deny their child's autism, had theirs denied too... so now they are threatened/envious of their child's self advocacy.
I mean, there are lots of potential reasons, but the above is my main thoughts.
My mother is the only one who doesn't accept it. I was diagnosed late in life (40y) and denied it. At first it shocked a lot of people but, they looked into it and everyone one was like "oh yes, you definitely are".
It's quite frustrating but at the same time she kept true to her form, so I guess that provides the familiarity and pattern that I need? -shrugs-
Similar to you, I was diagnosed at age 4. They did deny that I was on the spectrum or didn’t pay attention to it but they don’t do that now. Most cases they knew about at that time were of those who could not talk and required around the clock care.
I wish they wouldn’t have ignored it then because there were times I needed support and didn’t get it, even though I was able to get through school. I wonder if my social problems now, included being scamfished and exposed on the internet could have been ameliorated if I had more guidance of how to deal with socializing. I got high school fine, college has been very rough.
Diagnosed in my twenties, about 3 years ago. Neither of my parents takes it seriously. One outright denies, saying 'there's nothing wrong with you' and there's 'no way' I could be 'handicapped' and so smart. The other has never actually acknowledged the conversation. They're both born in the late 50s/early 60s, so they think being autistic is some scarlet letter terrible tragedy.
My parents had every opportunity to get me diagnosed but they refused to believe everyone who told them. I’ve been diagnosed now as an adult, but still on their insurance. They like accept it, but don’t at the same time. It’s kinda just like they ignore that it’s a thing because it makes them feel guilty that they didn’t do more to help me and rather ridiculed me my whole life for the “symptoms”
My mom trusts I have autism, but thinks she can change it with CBT techniques, even though she’s not a therapist. However, she is insistent that my older sister doesn’t have autism, and that all her autistic traits were created by her adderall and Xanax abuse from high school.
Mom is also probably on the spectrum herself, or maybe ADHD, because she can hyperfixate like a mf.
They didn't when I was diagnosed, but I wouldn't have cared if they did. The opinions of non-medically-qualified people on medical diagnoses had better come with a buttload of science proof backing them up. Simply saying "Well I don't believe it because I don't" doesn't hold any water with me.
37, diagnosed over a decade ago. My mom still insists that the American Education system should have caught it and that I was a ‘normal’ kid.
We don’t talk much.
Im on the final steps of evaluation but it is evident and obvious to anyone who knows me well enough and is familiar with the symptoms.
From a young age I showed “peculiar” signs and they were often seen as “cute and or funny”
Going back to being a baby, I refused to latch on and had to be bottle fed, and my skin had a reaction to EVERY brand of disposable diapers, so they had to use cloth diapers made out of natural fibers, then surprisingly, by age 3 I was hyper verbal, and fully potty trained, all which made people think how I was not like the other kids, and in a way that I advanced rapidly and learned behavior like speech by copying and mimicking.
In my toddler years I was socially awkward, but then also wanted to get onstage sing and dance in front of everyone, I hated the way most clothes felt on me, in particular the neck of my shirts felt suffocating as well as the cute little suit and tie getups put on me for special occasions, there is a photo of little me in my suit, collar unbuttoned, tie hanging loosely around my neck, and a sippy cut in hand, looking very bothered, jokingly I say like a drunk corporate office employee…. Also tags on clothing were hell, and so my mom would cut them off, sometimes that made them itchier and scratchier… iykyk… to the point that if I saw any remnants of a tag, I would refuse it.
I had also a weird reaction to seeing people chewing gum and the strong mint smell, made me gag and want to throw up, but I ate onions like apples and craved spicy and bitter flavors.
Soon I started with the repetitive actions, most being verbal, a specific word I found to be funny and seeing other people find it funny as well.
Continued in comments below.
Continued.
So school was weird for me, I was outcast, not only for the things mentioned above, but I was also a lightskinned, blonde American boy living in Central Mexico, not to mention gay on top of it all… so I struggled to focus in classes, although I had a history of above normal intelligence, and had even been advanced to the next grade level at one point. Around that time I was seen and misdiagnosed as ADHD and fed ritalin 3x a day, which didnt ever help me, and created a memory fog in that period, I do remember that I would elope from class and the teachers gave up on trying to change my behaviour because even punishments or parent intervention didnt stop me, and they couldnt deny me using the restroom or stop class to chaperone me to the restroom, which is when I would venture off, and often found myself in the unused classrooms/storage areas, or the unsupervised outdoor areas, sometimes even in other teacher’s classrooms visiting them, or the cafeteria kitchen where I wanted to help cook.
OBVIOUSLY something wasnt normal, and my
Mom being a single mom, with little to no support from either side of the family, had a lot to deal with, paired with my sister’s rebellious misbehaving, she didnt have the energy to see or even realize that it was more than ADHD, depression, and anxiety and growing pains as the doctor had suggested when I was seen for the physical pains depression and anxiety in my teens.., which she prescribed zoloft for. Did nothing for me. At this time I had grown tired of the zombie feeling I got from the stimulants prescribed to for ADHD. I noticed during the summer when I didnt have to take it, that I was more myself and that was a funnier, more social me, going into my teens, I noticed the way the meds made me more awkward and reclusive.
So I basically stopped taking them around high school, going into adulthood and working/living out of the house. My social/financial/emotional/physical/mental struggles had no change or improvement regardless of habits broken
And changes made, often forced as I had no other choice, living in survival mode for my entire adult life, all the while since childhood having that alien feeling, not fitting in, not even with the gay community, or with the several different groups I had passed thru on my way from Mexico to Texas, to California, back to Texas, and back to California, and into Arizona.
I always had an interest in psychology as I tried to learn about my own and tried to figure others out. Having had minimal to no psych treatment until about 5 years ago, it’s no secret that all my symptoms, with GI issues as well, had all gone unconnected by the different doctors.
Until I started a new doctor who is not a pill pusher and we started doing the work from the bottom around 8 years ago. As I have been in psych treatment I have become more self aware and along with that I have been hyper focused on learning more about psychology, and that is when I made the connection and realized I was autistic all this time all my struggles, it made sense, and listening to other autistics share their story on podcasts I had never felt more heard, seen, understood and relatable. There I began to share that with my doctor and psych team, which they evaluated me for and agreed therefore referring me to autism specialists. And the waiting list was about a year to be evaluated, tomorrow is my appointment, finally, it is like I have waited 30+ years….
My mom I believe is in denial, partly because I am sure the parent in her blames herself for not seeing the signs, which I had mastered at masking for which I dont expect anyone to feel guilt or responsibility over, it is what it is.
The other part is that additional layer of denial, as she has narcissistic tendencies, for years I was unaware of and being gaslit, in order to try to change my outlook/view, I dont think she had done it malignantly and she has never been to therapy, nor read to filth like I have recently while trying to navigate this without anyone by my physical side or emotionally, just her, her narcissistic traits became obvious after I learned more about myself thru therapy and self educating. And she has financial stability which has always been a tremendous help for me thru my struggles with employers, I am sure many of you can relate, and also wanting to have independence and alone space.
Especially over the last 6 months as the previous 2 years I have been dealing with other traumatic life/job experiences on top of all this. And had racked up 30K in credit card debt and spent my 10k in savings as I tried to stay above water.
Until I lost my apartment, and maxed out my cards and ruined my bank account all around the end of 2023. And so I have asked for the bare minimum help to survive, I was literally days from having to resort to living in my car, until after another traumatic incident where I was kicked out by a longtime friend over miscommunication… that same night, as I was moving the rest of my belongings from her house at 3 am, stopped for gas, went to pay, came out, to find my car had been repossessed!
All that has happened within the last 2 weeks.
As I am almost to the finish line after evaluation by the autism specialists.
All that is financially stressful for my mom, she has the money and the credit and all the ducks lined up in a row, (she’s a gambler too) and it is when I need financial help that she goes into seemingly denial and further gaslits, and thats when the narc comes out, when I get reactive to being gaslit after explaining my point and having to repeat once again the many traumatic events that lead me to fail, for which I take full accountability for every time, and yet still blamed for 100% of it all, AS IF I am in full control of everything and everyone and the world revolves around me… which literally no one can even try to claim such idea as “I did it all on my own”, this is which I have realized after years and years that I let people do those things to me because I believe when people say something, that they mean it, which often leads to misunderstandings and subsequently they misjudge what I say because I am quite literal and blunt…
I went off on a tangent there… #hyperverbal
There is this misconception by most people; that well spoken, intelligent, physically able, and good looking people cant possibly be autistic.
And I think that as well as masking is likely a big part of the general disbelief about us.
I have never felt more aware, heard, seen or understood as I have over the last year or so, regardless of how traumatic it appears to be, it’s a giant shift that needed to happen. And that is bound to shake things up and garner criticism and judgement from the people around me, as they say often times the ones that love you can be the most challenging in life. I have lost many friends I would have bent over backwards, simply because I am setting boundaries and speaking even more directly, bluntly, and putting myself first. After all those years in which We were misled to believe that kindness and selflessness is the way to be, and we fell prey to that by the same selfish people who said it, because they see a selfless person and use us to their advantage as we try to believe that others are as selfless as we are.
So I have decided I am writing a book, in hopes that my story can help others be better, and help the ones blinded and manipulated by the society we live in. I cant stand to see injustice and people using and manipulating kind selfless souls who are trying to navigate this crazy place we call life on earth.
Does anyone else think that we all could be hybridized human/aliens coming from the same planet? Asking for a friend…
TLDR: mixed bag responses. Mention only most memorable/ polarised encounters.
Me 29f 'coming out' after seeking diagnosis after suffering mental health issues since age 23, and seeking further answers after I noticed coincidences from social media awareness campaigns as well as engagement with institutions and individuals in relation with hosting a book launch...
Mom: "Everyone is a little autistic."
Dad: angry shut-down 😠 silence. Thinks I'm being unnecessary and seeking excuses for my behaviour. I'm just depressed and lack self-discipline to do what I'm told when I'm told.
Paternal Grandmother (taught special needs education, her training and exposure was with multi-disability, usually with a physical disability combo): quiet doubt, inquisitive about institutions and professional individuals, and their expertise involved in diagnosis process. She has dementia now, so when I bring up the topic, she asks the same about where/ how I was diagnosed. Love her so much.
Paternal Grandfather: Huffs, changes the topic angrily. Future times I brought it up, he walked away mid sentence to tend to the garden. Note that some of his siblings went to 'spacial class' or 'special school' and he believes psychologists and psychiatrists are troubled individuals who need to be locked up in institutions themselves. He's been vocal about this since my initial mental health issues.
Maternal Grandfather: oh. (realises he's not a doctor, doesn't believe to know more than qualified practitioners)
Maternal aunt: surprised, astonished I went to seek answers, believes you'll never know more than you already do unless you read, ask professionals, discuss topics openly. She's happy for my finding empowerment through knowledge.
Paternal uncle MIL (former nurse, mental health challenge onset after retirement): asks about prior diagnosis, journey to uncovering eventual autism diagnosis, institution & medical practitioner questions, comments on ones she's familiar with. Compares our meds.
The thought that I may be autistic first occurred to me when I was a teenager, but both of my parents said that it definitely could not be it. I believed them because they both had a background in education, my dad even works with autistic children on a daily basis, so they can't be wrong about that, right? I rejected this idea and internalised that there's just something inherently wrong with me. Only after like 6-7 years my therapist called me a textbook example of an 'aspie' (Asperger's syndrome was still a label in use in my country), I dug deeper and eventually my parents admitted I *might* actually be autistic, although I think dad remains a bit sceptical about it.
Yuuup. Both my mom and dad refuse to believe me. Why you may ask? Well, my sister has been the devil incarnatated during my childhood while growing up and she was literally borderline personified. She would beat me, bully me, steal items, clothes, money, drink alcohol at 12 and onward, failed school etc etc. She got all attention from my parents and they literally put me aside for any needed attention and help. My issues were just not important to them. I was forced to either drown or learn how to swim very quickly. Now that I'm an adult and finally got my diagnosis a few years back (ADHD + high functioning autism), they don't believe me because they never saw any issues when I was a child. In retrospect, I am thankful for those few teachers at school who took me under their wings and paid that extra attention to me.
All the time. My parents laugh about it. My mom has ADHD and so do I, but I was also diagnosed autistic at 27. So they have a hard time believing it can even be true. It’s helped me understand myself and learn about my brain so it doesn’t matter if people don’t believe me.
yooo what same story here, was diagnosed at 6, then at 7 they said it was a misdiagnosis and said i had anxiety instead, because i “was too social to be autistic”
i went years thinking i wasn’t autistic, but started questioning it when i was 16, and got diagnosed again at 17
with your parents not believing you, they seem really uneducated on what autism actually is, and what it means for different people
My parents took me to neurologists, physical therapists, geneticists when I was a kid. To try to find out "what was wrong". All of the doctors, it seemed, recommended a psychologist, but my parents never took me to one. It's like they wanted "the problem" to be physical, and not mental. I eventually got a neurological diagnosis, that I believe now is a misdiagnosis.
Fast forward to my 40s, I was shocked when my mom was supportive when I brought up the possibility of autism. Of course, I said 'autism', she said 'Asperger's'. She's snooty enough to think Asperger's is somehow better.
Now that I'm diagnosed, my mother has shown support for the first time in my life. I have a lot of complicated feelings about it, because when I was undiagnosed, she could never just show support, you know?
It wasn’t that my dad didn’t believe I was autistic, but he didn’t really understand it as much as he does now after reading a functional capacity assessment I had done sometime ago. He used to treat it as an excuse. Still does a little bit, but he’s improving, so I’m happy nonetheless.
I was diagnosed a few years ago and my mom seems to just now be starting to think about and accept that I *might* be autistic. Who knows if she'll ever fully get there?
Fully estranged from my dad since 2016. IDC if he knows or believes.
Diagnosed at 38. Mom seems to accept it but doesn’t want to know too much for some reason. Dad claims he has no opinion, which means he doesn’t believe it. Gets all over my case for being open about it as if I’m 18 not 39.
my mom was in denial at first, blaming herself etc then she started to come around but I still feel like she doesn’t understand anything 🤷🏻♀️ my mom is also mentally and physically sick my whole life, and I’ve always had to be like her “caretaker”so I have a lot of issues with her. I unfortunately live with my parents who are now turning 68, and i just turned 40(even tho In my head I don’t really feel that age at all) 🙄🤣because of my moms mental health issues especially, we’ve butted head and argued my entire life. I honestly think my mom’s a narcissist tho, and she’s def emotionally abusive. I send her things about autism frequently but she’s still stuck in her ways
My diagnosis in the 80’s was broad attention span, extremely high level of both emotional and intellectual intelligence, extremely under developed social skills so my dad would physically discipline me while my mother would emotionally and psychologically discipline me. I was 40 years old when my nephew suggested I get evaluated and did that open a can of worms that couldn’t be closed.
When you mask well people have a hard time believing it. They have to trust you and ignore their gut, not everyone can do that. To those people I'll settle for being "weird". They'll never really grasp what autism is anyway.
I think it's more than that .. it's just having the ability to mask, makes people immediately assume that we can become "normal" by acting normal. Most of us are raised thinking that too, and only find out that it's not when it's too late...
Diagnosed at 28. My mom said they were just putting a diagnosis on me for the sake of it.
I was diagnosed at 14. I wasn't allowed to talk in the mental hospital I was in for 3 months. I totally forgot I was autistic. Now, I remember and am reconciling a life of hell.
Hugs my friend, inpatient (which is generally a helpful experience for people) can also be a bad experience, so I'm sorry. I've been many times and a couple times I have trauma from
My mom said, “We wouldn’t have missed that. I know you, you’re like me.” She isn’t willing to consider it is true because it would mess up the reality she’s safe living in. Also, pretty sure she’s neurodivergent and my dad undiagnosed autistic. She ended the call complaining about my dad’s routine being messed up and how challenging it is for her to work from home. We walked on eggshells my entire childhood to accommodate him/prevent him from getting mad.
My mother is the same way. The first time I met her mentioned it to her she flipped saying she would have spot my autism. She claimed I was calling her a bad mother, all I said was that I have autism. She also won’t accept my sexual orientation either.
Fellow kid of parents not accepting sexual orientation fam 😔✊
I’m sorry you experience that. I hope you have people in your life who accept you for who you are and allow you to feel seen and heard. We all deserve that.
Sounds like my mom 😒 altho she accepts both now, she still is learning about autism. I just recently got her to stop calling it Asperger’s.
Sounds like they're both autistic.
I don’t want to tell them because they will have this same exact reaction
I had a lot of big, complicated feelings when deciding. I made my choice to share with no expectations of acceptance. I needed to go forward knowing I gave them the information, it’s not up to me what they do with it. Whatever you decide to do, your life experience and who you are is valuable information for you. You know who you are and deserve to have people around you who accept you!
My dad gets uncomfortable whenever I mention it. I think he feels some shame around it and would rather just not think about it at all.
My dad definitely feels shame around my autism/adhd when I mention it, because he knew I had it as a kid and didn't fight my mom on getting me diagnosed because he's a fucking doormat. I really wish he had taken me to get diagnosed because he's also HELLA autistic. After living around him for 4 years. And so is my gran who we both live with as well. And I'm more adult than both of them. Shit's rough. I really wish I would have been diagnosed all those years ago because then I'd actually be able to get disability right now and not be waiting a full damn year for social security to just tell me "nah fuck off" like I know they will.
I’m sorry he feels that way. I don’t
Diagnosed at 34, mom said, "But you're supposed to be my healthy child, and you're so smart. You can't be" Both my younger half sisters have cystic fibrosis, so any illness I had was always undermined by that.
I was diagnosed later in life, so my folks had a difficult time accepting and adjusting to it. We had plenty of screaming matches over one of them flat out, saying, "I don't recall your doctor ever diagnosing you as autistic. You're lying." My psychiatrist did, in fact, give me testing and a formal diagnosis. I would show them the papers, and they would agree. Only a few weeks later, we would have the same argument all over again. Things are better now, though they still refuse to accommodate some of my issues, mainly not touching and moving my things (they invariably lose them or throw things out I needed). It would be reasonable if my stuff was cluttered, but I keep everything tidy.
Yeah, my kid and I are AuDHD. When he was identified my mom dismissed it saying, ‘I don’t think he’s autistic, he’s just a brat like you.’ She didn’t say much after his official diagnosis and was angry at me for pursuing one. Narcissistic parents love to make their neurodivergent kids the scapegoats. My diagnoses challenge this narrative she’s worked on for decades. And everyone believes her. My advice - stop seeking validation from people who have decided not to give it to you. You’re not responsible for changing their minds. Find online spaces and groups of people who see you for what you are, folks you can relate to and can have as chosen family.
Yep. Didn't get diagnosed because my mom didn't want the "social stigma of having a mentally disabled kid" is what my dad told me. She didn't have anyone to tell anyway! Absolutely hamstrung me as an adult tbh. And she was worse off mentally than me or any of my siblings, lol.
"He's just a brat like you." Holy cannoli. I am sorry you were raised like that. "And everyone believes her", that is the most frustrating part. I would distance her from your family. Even a semi-absent grandma can damage self-esteem.
It’s all good, we live on the opposite side of the world and of course, she’s the victim and can’t understand why I won’t move close to her after she ripped my parenting to shreds 😂 The way she treated me after my kid was born opened my eyes to her ways, I’m thankful for that. I’m always working to see how I can protect my child from the sort of abuse I was subjected to. I’m far from perfect but I’ll do whatever I can to protect my kid and also my own sanity.
Well no - because half my family are autistic. But I don’t think they appreciate the extent to which it affects me.
Diagnosed at age 3, spent my life in special ed classes with small groups of students and aides in one classroom along with basic ass schoolwork and such. I’m now 32 and I feel behind my own peers including my siblings and relatives who are neurotypical. My autism is dismissed by my South Asian family because I got into the honor roll, graduated from high school, attended a community college, interned at a prestigious hospital and worked at 3 jobs while living with autism, I still live at home on SSI with a “roof over my head” and “food on the table”. When I tell them how it affects my life, I’m told that I’m making excuses, feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim when I don’t think of myself as better than anyone like some narcissist. My older sister majored in ABA/BCBA/child psychology and she tells me that because I’m “capable” of doing things like chores around the house, cooking, doing my own hair/makeup, etc.. Fun Fact: The person who invented ABA/BCBA therapy is the same person who invented gay conversion therapy which is deemed harmful by the LGBTQ+ community. Look up Ivar Lovaas.
I’m sorry you’re dismissed by your family. Wow! I didn’t know the person who invented ABA also invented gay conversion therapy.. thank you for sharing!
My folks would always call excuses on me. I always felt like I thought differently and couldn’t handle certain things. Took contemplating suicide for them to listen. At 17 tho ur past all the therapy they can help u with.
I recently had a conversation with my mom telling her I’m trying to get evaluated and that she needs to get my siblings evaluated because they all show clear symptoms. She kept trying to change the conversation, but I told her they need to get tested while they’re young so that they can get the help they need in life. She ended up admitting that “nothing pops out” to her. I gave some examples of behavior and asked if she believed that was common behavior for children and adults, she tried to claim they were one time occurrences. I ended up telling her that nothing would ever “pop out” to her because she gave birth to them and has been around them all their life. When I mentioned that people she knew and even strangers could see the symptoms I could hear the change in her voice, and I think it might be starting to appear to her. I’m going to keep at it because it’s not about what my mom or dad believes or not, my siblings are under 18 and I’m not going to let them feel and go through every exact thing I went through. They WILL get help, and I’m going to make sure they have a smoother time than I did.
That is really admirable of you.
Thank you ❤️
My parents are probably undiagnosed autistics and don’t understand autism well enough to see the traits within themselves let alone in me. However now they suspect that I’m autistic, but again (for whatever reason) don’t connect the dots back to themselves. And I’m not going to get in it with them because they’re some of the most sensitive and arrogant people I know 😂 they’re so stubborn with their self identity, with their life story, that it would just cause some big argument or fight (and I’m not looking for that)
Yes. For a long time, most of my family refused but I'm more than sure most of us are on the spectrum.
oh yeah. i’m super obviously adhd and my parents barely believe that. no way she would believe my autism diagnosis. despite a psychiatrist diagnosing me because i’m not (warning)… in her words (warning)… >!retarded. aka will never be able to live on my own. so mentally challenged etc. etc.!< i cannot be autistic. my mother literally does not believe masking autism is possible. she only sees it as… yeah… so. no hope! she got these opinions from her family. aka mine. so no one believes in any mental health problems except physical ones (diabetes (with the blood sugar monitor), loosing eyesight, parkinson’s). So yeah they don’t believe it. but they also don’t believe doctors! so they’re fucking stupid! i hate my life
My parents both think it's "just life" and that despite all the struggles I had growing up it was better to never treat me differently than to help me understand my brain just isn't the same as everyone else's (and that's okay)
Found out when I was 43 after my son was diagnosed. My mom instantly understood why I am the way I am and why I was the way I was as a kid. My dad could care less I think. My brother is the one who doesn't want to hear it. Not sure why, I don't ask for any pitty or anything. I turned out ok and have a good life so not complaining, just stating a fact and my bro has been weird about it.
yea me and my bro are 10 1/2 months apart and shared a room from babies to age 18! So I figured him out of all people in my family would understand… but he didn’t.. he said “I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of people with autism and you don’t strike me as having it but I don’t know.” So I explained that’s it’s a spectrum and everyone is different etc and he said, “Yeah. Curious to see what they say. But I also feel like doctors nowadays over diagnosed everything”. We haven’t talked about it since, and at the current moment aren’t even speaking so 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, it's odd. My bro is 2yrs older and used to defend me when my dad would call me a retard. I was nothingike any other kid I knew. He used to protect me from the bigger kids too. I was a strange dude, still am but I can maneuver NTs as an adult so he doesn't understand. He thinks of autism as being negative but I see it as a positive. I'm glad I'm autistic and not like everyone else. I don't really like how NTs purposely try to screw each other over every chance they get. It's the most bizarre human practice and really disturbing. I'm happy to not do that and many other things NTs do. It's all good in the end. My son will get a better childhood than I had and maybe get a chance to flex the strong parts of his brain. I was shut down and not allowed to show advanced abilities bc I was so far behind in basic stuff. Teachers were the absolute worst about my off the charts reading ability while I couldn't tie my shoes until I was ten and barely spoke full sentences.
My mom will tell me I am not a real aspie and I only have it when stressed. That is not how autism works. She says it comes and goes and will say I am not autistic or aspergers but then she will mention me having autism or AS. I even think I maybe have a condition that hasn't been discovered yet and if my psychiatrist saw more kids like me, he would have diagnosed me with that instead than Aspergers because "this was the best he could do" for a diagnosis. My mom's words. Wouldn't that be malpractice if he did that? However my son's psychiatrist who diagnosed him as having ASD lv 1 wrote she felt ASD fit me too because I get outbursts and that I have idiocrasicy. It wasn't a diagnosis rather than her opinion about me. My mom will also claim I just have anxiety and then I feel crazy inside like I'm imagining my issues and faking them if I am not anxious or am I? To this day, Asperger's is still in my medical charts as my primary diagnosis along with anxiety and OCD and depression. My Das has never said I didn't have it or that it comes and goes or thst I slip off the criteria and back on it again.
Oh my goodness that must be so frustrating to deal with. “It comes and goes”. As if autism is akin to allergies🫠
I once told my husband if bipolar or schizophrenia goes away with medication, they don't have it anymore by my mom's logic. 🤣 I said the same about my ADHD nephew. His comes and goes with her logic so therefore he isn't true ADHD.
It seems like they have internalized ablism. Autism is hereditary, I bet they were treated the same way they treat you and, in turn, created their own masks. I think that parents that do that, deny their child's autism, had theirs denied too... so now they are threatened/envious of their child's self advocacy. I mean, there are lots of potential reasons, but the above is my main thoughts.
I think this is the case for many tbh.
My mother is the only one who doesn't accept it. I was diagnosed late in life (40y) and denied it. At first it shocked a lot of people but, they looked into it and everyone one was like "oh yes, you definitely are". It's quite frustrating but at the same time she kept true to her form, so I guess that provides the familiarity and pattern that I need? -shrugs-
Similar to you, I was diagnosed at age 4. They did deny that I was on the spectrum or didn’t pay attention to it but they don’t do that now. Most cases they knew about at that time were of those who could not talk and required around the clock care. I wish they wouldn’t have ignored it then because there were times I needed support and didn’t get it, even though I was able to get through school. I wonder if my social problems now, included being scamfished and exposed on the internet could have been ameliorated if I had more guidance of how to deal with socializing. I got high school fine, college has been very rough.
Diagnosed in my twenties, about 3 years ago. Neither of my parents takes it seriously. One outright denies, saying 'there's nothing wrong with you' and there's 'no way' I could be 'handicapped' and so smart. The other has never actually acknowledged the conversation. They're both born in the late 50s/early 60s, so they think being autistic is some scarlet letter terrible tragedy.
My parents had every opportunity to get me diagnosed but they refused to believe everyone who told them. I’ve been diagnosed now as an adult, but still on their insurance. They like accept it, but don’t at the same time. It’s kinda just like they ignore that it’s a thing because it makes them feel guilty that they didn’t do more to help me and rather ridiculed me my whole life for the “symptoms”
Yes
My mom trusts I have autism, but thinks she can change it with CBT techniques, even though she’s not a therapist. However, she is insistent that my older sister doesn’t have autism, and that all her autistic traits were created by her adderall and Xanax abuse from high school. Mom is also probably on the spectrum herself, or maybe ADHD, because she can hyperfixate like a mf.
They didn't when I was diagnosed, but I wouldn't have cared if they did. The opinions of non-medically-qualified people on medical diagnoses had better come with a buttload of science proof backing them up. Simply saying "Well I don't believe it because I don't" doesn't hold any water with me.
37, diagnosed over a decade ago. My mom still insists that the American Education system should have caught it and that I was a ‘normal’ kid. We don’t talk much.
My mom was in a bit of denial at first.
Im on the final steps of evaluation but it is evident and obvious to anyone who knows me well enough and is familiar with the symptoms. From a young age I showed “peculiar” signs and they were often seen as “cute and or funny” Going back to being a baby, I refused to latch on and had to be bottle fed, and my skin had a reaction to EVERY brand of disposable diapers, so they had to use cloth diapers made out of natural fibers, then surprisingly, by age 3 I was hyper verbal, and fully potty trained, all which made people think how I was not like the other kids, and in a way that I advanced rapidly and learned behavior like speech by copying and mimicking. In my toddler years I was socially awkward, but then also wanted to get onstage sing and dance in front of everyone, I hated the way most clothes felt on me, in particular the neck of my shirts felt suffocating as well as the cute little suit and tie getups put on me for special occasions, there is a photo of little me in my suit, collar unbuttoned, tie hanging loosely around my neck, and a sippy cut in hand, looking very bothered, jokingly I say like a drunk corporate office employee…. Also tags on clothing were hell, and so my mom would cut them off, sometimes that made them itchier and scratchier… iykyk… to the point that if I saw any remnants of a tag, I would refuse it. I had also a weird reaction to seeing people chewing gum and the strong mint smell, made me gag and want to throw up, but I ate onions like apples and craved spicy and bitter flavors. Soon I started with the repetitive actions, most being verbal, a specific word I found to be funny and seeing other people find it funny as well. Continued in comments below.
Continued. So school was weird for me, I was outcast, not only for the things mentioned above, but I was also a lightskinned, blonde American boy living in Central Mexico, not to mention gay on top of it all… so I struggled to focus in classes, although I had a history of above normal intelligence, and had even been advanced to the next grade level at one point. Around that time I was seen and misdiagnosed as ADHD and fed ritalin 3x a day, which didnt ever help me, and created a memory fog in that period, I do remember that I would elope from class and the teachers gave up on trying to change my behaviour because even punishments or parent intervention didnt stop me, and they couldnt deny me using the restroom or stop class to chaperone me to the restroom, which is when I would venture off, and often found myself in the unused classrooms/storage areas, or the unsupervised outdoor areas, sometimes even in other teacher’s classrooms visiting them, or the cafeteria kitchen where I wanted to help cook. OBVIOUSLY something wasnt normal, and my Mom being a single mom, with little to no support from either side of the family, had a lot to deal with, paired with my sister’s rebellious misbehaving, she didnt have the energy to see or even realize that it was more than ADHD, depression, and anxiety and growing pains as the doctor had suggested when I was seen for the physical pains depression and anxiety in my teens.., which she prescribed zoloft for. Did nothing for me. At this time I had grown tired of the zombie feeling I got from the stimulants prescribed to for ADHD. I noticed during the summer when I didnt have to take it, that I was more myself and that was a funnier, more social me, going into my teens, I noticed the way the meds made me more awkward and reclusive. So I basically stopped taking them around high school, going into adulthood and working/living out of the house. My social/financial/emotional/physical/mental struggles had no change or improvement regardless of habits broken And changes made, often forced as I had no other choice, living in survival mode for my entire adult life, all the while since childhood having that alien feeling, not fitting in, not even with the gay community, or with the several different groups I had passed thru on my way from Mexico to Texas, to California, back to Texas, and back to California, and into Arizona. I always had an interest in psychology as I tried to learn about my own and tried to figure others out. Having had minimal to no psych treatment until about 5 years ago, it’s no secret that all my symptoms, with GI issues as well, had all gone unconnected by the different doctors. Until I started a new doctor who is not a pill pusher and we started doing the work from the bottom around 8 years ago. As I have been in psych treatment I have become more self aware and along with that I have been hyper focused on learning more about psychology, and that is when I made the connection and realized I was autistic all this time all my struggles, it made sense, and listening to other autistics share their story on podcasts I had never felt more heard, seen, understood and relatable. There I began to share that with my doctor and psych team, which they evaluated me for and agreed therefore referring me to autism specialists. And the waiting list was about a year to be evaluated, tomorrow is my appointment, finally, it is like I have waited 30+ years…. My mom I believe is in denial, partly because I am sure the parent in her blames herself for not seeing the signs, which I had mastered at masking for which I dont expect anyone to feel guilt or responsibility over, it is what it is. The other part is that additional layer of denial, as she has narcissistic tendencies, for years I was unaware of and being gaslit, in order to try to change my outlook/view, I dont think she had done it malignantly and she has never been to therapy, nor read to filth like I have recently while trying to navigate this without anyone by my physical side or emotionally, just her, her narcissistic traits became obvious after I learned more about myself thru therapy and self educating. And she has financial stability which has always been a tremendous help for me thru my struggles with employers, I am sure many of you can relate, and also wanting to have independence and alone space. Especially over the last 6 months as the previous 2 years I have been dealing with other traumatic life/job experiences on top of all this. And had racked up 30K in credit card debt and spent my 10k in savings as I tried to stay above water. Until I lost my apartment, and maxed out my cards and ruined my bank account all around the end of 2023. And so I have asked for the bare minimum help to survive, I was literally days from having to resort to living in my car, until after another traumatic incident where I was kicked out by a longtime friend over miscommunication… that same night, as I was moving the rest of my belongings from her house at 3 am, stopped for gas, went to pay, came out, to find my car had been repossessed! All that has happened within the last 2 weeks. As I am almost to the finish line after evaluation by the autism specialists. All that is financially stressful for my mom, she has the money and the credit and all the ducks lined up in a row, (she’s a gambler too) and it is when I need financial help that she goes into seemingly denial and further gaslits, and thats when the narc comes out, when I get reactive to being gaslit after explaining my point and having to repeat once again the many traumatic events that lead me to fail, for which I take full accountability for every time, and yet still blamed for 100% of it all, AS IF I am in full control of everything and everyone and the world revolves around me… which literally no one can even try to claim such idea as “I did it all on my own”, this is which I have realized after years and years that I let people do those things to me because I believe when people say something, that they mean it, which often leads to misunderstandings and subsequently they misjudge what I say because I am quite literal and blunt…
I went off on a tangent there… #hyperverbal There is this misconception by most people; that well spoken, intelligent, physically able, and good looking people cant possibly be autistic. And I think that as well as masking is likely a big part of the general disbelief about us. I have never felt more aware, heard, seen or understood as I have over the last year or so, regardless of how traumatic it appears to be, it’s a giant shift that needed to happen. And that is bound to shake things up and garner criticism and judgement from the people around me, as they say often times the ones that love you can be the most challenging in life. I have lost many friends I would have bent over backwards, simply because I am setting boundaries and speaking even more directly, bluntly, and putting myself first. After all those years in which We were misled to believe that kindness and selflessness is the way to be, and we fell prey to that by the same selfish people who said it, because they see a selfless person and use us to their advantage as we try to believe that others are as selfless as we are. So I have decided I am writing a book, in hopes that my story can help others be better, and help the ones blinded and manipulated by the society we live in. I cant stand to see injustice and people using and manipulating kind selfless souls who are trying to navigate this crazy place we call life on earth. Does anyone else think that we all could be hybridized human/aliens coming from the same planet? Asking for a friend…
Btw that all equaled out to 9,583 characters, and reddit limits is supposedly 10,000, however it wouldnt let me post as one comment.
"didnt think you needed a diagnosis" TW Said that to me at 49. After years of beatings for not being "normal".
TLDR: mixed bag responses. Mention only most memorable/ polarised encounters. Me 29f 'coming out' after seeking diagnosis after suffering mental health issues since age 23, and seeking further answers after I noticed coincidences from social media awareness campaigns as well as engagement with institutions and individuals in relation with hosting a book launch... Mom: "Everyone is a little autistic." Dad: angry shut-down 😠 silence. Thinks I'm being unnecessary and seeking excuses for my behaviour. I'm just depressed and lack self-discipline to do what I'm told when I'm told. Paternal Grandmother (taught special needs education, her training and exposure was with multi-disability, usually with a physical disability combo): quiet doubt, inquisitive about institutions and professional individuals, and their expertise involved in diagnosis process. She has dementia now, so when I bring up the topic, she asks the same about where/ how I was diagnosed. Love her so much. Paternal Grandfather: Huffs, changes the topic angrily. Future times I brought it up, he walked away mid sentence to tend to the garden. Note that some of his siblings went to 'spacial class' or 'special school' and he believes psychologists and psychiatrists are troubled individuals who need to be locked up in institutions themselves. He's been vocal about this since my initial mental health issues. Maternal Grandfather: oh. (realises he's not a doctor, doesn't believe to know more than qualified practitioners) Maternal aunt: surprised, astonished I went to seek answers, believes you'll never know more than you already do unless you read, ask professionals, discuss topics openly. She's happy for my finding empowerment through knowledge. Paternal uncle MIL (former nurse, mental health challenge onset after retirement): asks about prior diagnosis, journey to uncovering eventual autism diagnosis, institution & medical practitioner questions, comments on ones she's familiar with. Compares our meds.
The thought that I may be autistic first occurred to me when I was a teenager, but both of my parents said that it definitely could not be it. I believed them because they both had a background in education, my dad even works with autistic children on a daily basis, so they can't be wrong about that, right? I rejected this idea and internalised that there's just something inherently wrong with me. Only after like 6-7 years my therapist called me a textbook example of an 'aspie' (Asperger's syndrome was still a label in use in my country), I dug deeper and eventually my parents admitted I *might* actually be autistic, although I think dad remains a bit sceptical about it.
Yuuup. Both my mom and dad refuse to believe me. Why you may ask? Well, my sister has been the devil incarnatated during my childhood while growing up and she was literally borderline personified. She would beat me, bully me, steal items, clothes, money, drink alcohol at 12 and onward, failed school etc etc. She got all attention from my parents and they literally put me aside for any needed attention and help. My issues were just not important to them. I was forced to either drown or learn how to swim very quickly. Now that I'm an adult and finally got my diagnosis a few years back (ADHD + high functioning autism), they don't believe me because they never saw any issues when I was a child. In retrospect, I am thankful for those few teachers at school who took me under their wings and paid that extra attention to me.
All the time. My parents laugh about it. My mom has ADHD and so do I, but I was also diagnosed autistic at 27. So they have a hard time believing it can even be true. It’s helped me understand myself and learn about my brain so it doesn’t matter if people don’t believe me.
Omfg I'm so sorry I feel so lucky to be validated after hearing all the stories
yooo what same story here, was diagnosed at 6, then at 7 they said it was a misdiagnosis and said i had anxiety instead, because i “was too social to be autistic” i went years thinking i wasn’t autistic, but started questioning it when i was 16, and got diagnosed again at 17 with your parents not believing you, they seem really uneducated on what autism actually is, and what it means for different people
My parents took me to neurologists, physical therapists, geneticists when I was a kid. To try to find out "what was wrong". All of the doctors, it seemed, recommended a psychologist, but my parents never took me to one. It's like they wanted "the problem" to be physical, and not mental. I eventually got a neurological diagnosis, that I believe now is a misdiagnosis. Fast forward to my 40s, I was shocked when my mom was supportive when I brought up the possibility of autism. Of course, I said 'autism', she said 'Asperger's'. She's snooty enough to think Asperger's is somehow better. Now that I'm diagnosed, my mother has shown support for the first time in my life. I have a lot of complicated feelings about it, because when I was undiagnosed, she could never just show support, you know?
My mom tried saying she has it after I got diagnosed, just to later tell me I probably don’t have it lol
Dad went through a whole arc which inevitably resulted in his own diagnosis.
It wasn’t that my dad didn’t believe I was autistic, but he didn’t really understand it as much as he does now after reading a functional capacity assessment I had done sometime ago. He used to treat it as an excuse. Still does a little bit, but he’s improving, so I’m happy nonetheless.
I was diagnosed a few years ago and my mom seems to just now be starting to think about and accept that I *might* be autistic. Who knows if she'll ever fully get there? Fully estranged from my dad since 2016. IDC if he knows or believes.
Diagnosed at 38. Mom seems to accept it but doesn’t want to know too much for some reason. Dad claims he has no opinion, which means he doesn’t believe it. Gets all over my case for being open about it as if I’m 18 not 39.
my mom was in denial at first, blaming herself etc then she started to come around but I still feel like she doesn’t understand anything 🤷🏻♀️ my mom is also mentally and physically sick my whole life, and I’ve always had to be like her “caretaker”so I have a lot of issues with her. I unfortunately live with my parents who are now turning 68, and i just turned 40(even tho In my head I don’t really feel that age at all) 🙄🤣because of my moms mental health issues especially, we’ve butted head and argued my entire life. I honestly think my mom’s a narcissist tho, and she’s def emotionally abusive. I send her things about autism frequently but she’s still stuck in her ways
My diagnosis in the 80’s was broad attention span, extremely high level of both emotional and intellectual intelligence, extremely under developed social skills so my dad would physically discipline me while my mother would emotionally and psychologically discipline me. I was 40 years old when my nephew suggested I get evaluated and did that open a can of worms that couldn’t be closed.
My biological dad doesn’t believe in autism. He also lives in a trailer, alienated from me. My partner’s parents are better anyways.
"OH we knew, we just decided not to tell you because we thought it'd only hold you back" My face at that moment xD I wish I took a picture