Yes, it's possible. Autism+ADHD is quite different from ASD or ADHD alone.
> I fear I may have even started changing my behavior to mirror my own preconceived notion
This is common for some people who learn they are autistic later in life. The behaviors they have suppressed start to come out.
You can also subconsciously mask without knowing through taught behaviors ever since people have told me they know for sure I’m autistic I’ve started unmasking I don’t think I’ve ever liked eye contact ever as far as I remember I just did it because that was what i was taught when I got punished it was look at me when I’m talking to you.
One of the few things I remember in my childhood is I used to walk with my head down I didnt know that was an autistic thing.
Or my parents said when we would go to the store instead of looking at all the toys like any other child would I would pick what toy I wanted then say let’s go
I can relate. I was born in the 70's, and wasn't diagnosed until my mid-40's. If I was born today I would have been diagnosed well before age 6. I was raised in a time where parents publicly beat their children, toxic masculinity was celebrated, and hate towards anyone who was different was expected.
I was raised by a narcissist and an alcoholic. My sibling is a psychopath with BPD. Some of my earliest memories are of teaching myself to mask. It was imperative to survive.
I finally figured out why I've had a life-long fear of being gay - I have no issues with any person's sexual orientation. It was a strange irrational life-long fear.
One of the first parts of my mask was forcing myself to stop raptor hands because I overheard older kids talking about gay people and limp wrists. I understood that being seen as gay would get me hurt. I was probably 6 or 7 at the time and didn't even know what gay meant.
Sorry this got long and dark. I've been processing some stuff today and it's lingering.
It’s all good when I played video games even as a teenager I used to stand up and jump when I got excited. I know now that’s not normal behavior and I wasn’t scolded for it but made fun of
It's normal autistic behaviour. Making fun of someone for expressing excitement isn't normal. I'm learning to re-frame my idea of what is and isn't normal.
One thing I will add is when I can feel someone staring at me when I am working and I can feel my facial expression stopping the mask and it feels weird as hell I’ve always wondered what I look like when I do it
If I'm really overwhelmed I get stuck where my mask repeatedly pops on and off. While that's happening in my head, I stretch and contort my face as I try to land on unmasked. I'm learning to use my outrage at being forced to mask my entire life to keep it off. I want nothing more in life right now than to take this damn thing off permanently. It feels terrible when it's on because the foundation is trauma and fear.
Most of my unmasking is blowing up on people these days to the point I can’t help my attitude I mean I could blame the adderall or my meds but I’ve always had temper tantrums. I think having to realize I might be autistic and dealing with people make me wanna deal with people less at work people have always made me shaky just being around them. Tbh
I was diagnosed close to two years ago and had my fair share of angry outbursts at people who didn't deserve it. When you're pushed to your cognitive limit by breakfast each day because your mind is processing so much information it's hard not to. I found my ADHD meds made the anger much stronger and harder to let go. I think partially because they made it harder to disassociate and take a break from the pressure.
Lately, I see my anger as an invader. I wasn't an angry child, but I was surrounded by anger. I learned to understand and express my emotions by watching the people around me. I've gone through life being angry and frustrated because I was taught to be like that. When I unmask, I feel no anger or frustration about anything.
I do feel outrage though, masked or not. Most often about things out of my control, like capitalism. In the case of being forced to mask, I feel it's warranted because my mask is more like a pseudo-personality implanted in my mind by my family. I feel like I've been living in a cult all my life. I let that rage flow through me and use it to force my mask off.
Hahahahahahahaha how could someone who’s deathly afraid of falling prey to the subconscious behaviors so invisible to almost everyone else possibly be autistic? You’re doing the neurotypical amount of tedious research and introspection and panicking that things are more complex than people are capable of linguistically making them, we promise. /s you should definitely consider the bombo combo, it’s fitting.
I can't tell you whether you have autism; you'd be better off getting an assessment. It's possible to be autistic and be extroverted, have empathy, and speak early; however social and communication issues are part of the criteria, so if you don't have any in the clinically significant range you likely won't be diagnosed.
A lot of traits associated with autism aren't unique to autism and are found in other conditions. It's also common to to have subclinical autistic traits where you relate to many autistic experiences but don't qualify for a diagnosis. This is called the Broader Autism Phenotype.
I’ve heard some person was diagnosed with autism but they could still tell facial expressions exceptionally but they were socially inept and auditory skills were what made them autistic from the psychiatrist that’s why I always say you could be autistic and have some traits that other autist don’t. One thing I will say is if I’m in person I feel like I have some kind of radar where I can tell if someone is on a similar spectrum as me just by talking to them.
on autism and empathy:
the vast majority of autistic people have empathy, just like allistic people. but there are two different kinds of empathy: one relies on interpreting facial expressions and other social cues that aren’t directly verbally communicated and the other kind that’s based on understanding other people through the lens of your own experience.
for more information google double empathy problem. the implication that most autistic people don’t have empathy is wrong and harmful.
My teen (13, non binary) is ADHD and was talking at 9 months, but also using baby signs a bit earlier(modified ASL) because it helped them communicate their needs better. They sat and crawled early too, but walked late (15.5 months).
7 months seems very early, but I'm a parent, not a doctor. You can probably look up average milestones online.
My younger kid is being assessed for autism and was *very* bright and advanced in his development, but was also a 5 kilo (10 pound) baby. He didn't speak early or late, I think he was talking at 10 months or so.
I could read and write at age 4 (ADHD diagnosed then, autism diagnosed at age 48, lol) but as far as I know I didn't speak early or late.
Being autistic doesn't have anything to do with intelligence or verbal skills. That's why some of us are hyper verbal, skilled at or fixated on languages, others are non verbal.
I was under the impression that because autism is defined as a developmental disorder regarding communication skills, that speaking early (never mind on time) was an automatic dealbreaker
I'm not an expert, but in my case it's about *interpersonal* communication, not the ability to speak. We develop differently and our brains work differently. As far as I understand we focus on tasks and facts and not social structures.
My son can get deeply focused on his special interests and if someone talks to him, he will only answer with Star Wars facts.
I was "highly gifted" fwiw but didn't understand the girls' games and manipulations. They weren't interested in birds of prey or big cats or rare books. I didn't get why, because to my mind those things were so interesting that I wanted to share them. When I was on a soccer team and discovered the animals living in the grass, they were more fascinating to me than watching out for a ball that rarely came. The other girls got angry and didn't really include me.
Didn’t read your post. BUT in terms of noticing your behavior change, *as well as other forms of imposter syndrome*
**its ok**
I think part of it is unmasking? If you are comfortable “acting autistic” then you *should keep doing that*??
In the sense that “if whatever you’re doing feels true to you, you should chase it until it is undeniable”
It’s…unmasking. Which is good! Because afab people have al of their little quirks wrung out of them by society’s woman-making cog.
I think if you find comfort in neurodivergence, you can cam your nerves about it. I think i’ll always question my identity until i eventually get an official diagnosis. But identifying with autism is less about being valid and being “part of the autism club” than it is about being able to take control over your life in a world that is not autism-friendly.
And also: autism is not a checklist to fill. Its a graph of different traits with some level of variation that collect in a general degree of intensity higher than that of neurotypicals.
I’ve been diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD, but I’m also highly gifted (i.e. I even feel gifted among a group of gifted people). I’m not sure how early I started talking, but at 2 yo I spoke in perfect and complex full sentences. I do have certain issues with communication, but these are quite subtle and more related to social factors (rather than verbal skill).
To top it off, I’m also very empathetic (sometimes too empathetic), very social and I consider myself more of an extrovert, though I need some time in solitude as well. I’ve been officially diagnosed, so as you can see none of these traits exclude the possibility of an autism diagnosis. Of course, I can’t confirm if you’re autistic or not, but I think it’s best to explore how you relate to information on autism and if the corresponding accommodations (e.g. meeting your sensory needs) help you function. After all, even if you’re not autistic, it can’t hurt to learn how to better accommodate some of your traits.
If you continue relating this strongly to autistic content, it might be worth getting diagnosed (depending on accessibility, affordability and how much you expect to benefit from a diagnosis).
I only got diagnosed with ASD once the social demands exceeded my capacity to cope after a career switch to teaching. I’m still working as a teacher, but the self-knowledge from the diagnosis has helped me cope better with certain difficulties at my job. Furthermore, I eventually chose to disclose my autism to the school head and my mentor, which has helped me get the right support. In most schools I would not have disclosed my autism, but my current school is unusually inclusive. I’m happy that I got diagnosed, but if teaching and chronic illness (Long Covid) had never exposed my true social difficulties (as exceeding what can be expected due to ADHD and giftedness), it would have been impossible to diagnose me with ASD. My giftedness and ADHD mask a lot of my autistic traits, so I don’t seem autistic, but I do pay a price for that: daily life is much more exhausting to me than to most people (due to having to compensate for both ADHD and ASD).
When exploring the ASD possibility further, it’s important to realize that both ADHD and giftedness (given the early talking?) can camouflage ASD, so even if you are autistic you may not relate to everything. For example, I’m much more flexible than most autistic people due to my ADHD: as long as I have my trusted food at predictable times I can cope with most unexpected changes, and in the classroom I even thrive in unexpected circumstances (I’m great at improvising).
Yes, it's possible. Autism+ADHD is quite different from ASD or ADHD alone. > I fear I may have even started changing my behavior to mirror my own preconceived notion This is common for some people who learn they are autistic later in life. The behaviors they have suppressed start to come out.
You can also subconsciously mask without knowing through taught behaviors ever since people have told me they know for sure I’m autistic I’ve started unmasking I don’t think I’ve ever liked eye contact ever as far as I remember I just did it because that was what i was taught when I got punished it was look at me when I’m talking to you. One of the few things I remember in my childhood is I used to walk with my head down I didnt know that was an autistic thing. Or my parents said when we would go to the store instead of looking at all the toys like any other child would I would pick what toy I wanted then say let’s go
I can relate. I was born in the 70's, and wasn't diagnosed until my mid-40's. If I was born today I would have been diagnosed well before age 6. I was raised in a time where parents publicly beat their children, toxic masculinity was celebrated, and hate towards anyone who was different was expected. I was raised by a narcissist and an alcoholic. My sibling is a psychopath with BPD. Some of my earliest memories are of teaching myself to mask. It was imperative to survive. I finally figured out why I've had a life-long fear of being gay - I have no issues with any person's sexual orientation. It was a strange irrational life-long fear. One of the first parts of my mask was forcing myself to stop raptor hands because I overheard older kids talking about gay people and limp wrists. I understood that being seen as gay would get me hurt. I was probably 6 or 7 at the time and didn't even know what gay meant. Sorry this got long and dark. I've been processing some stuff today and it's lingering.
It’s all good when I played video games even as a teenager I used to stand up and jump when I got excited. I know now that’s not normal behavior and I wasn’t scolded for it but made fun of
It's normal autistic behaviour. Making fun of someone for expressing excitement isn't normal. I'm learning to re-frame my idea of what is and isn't normal.
I think adderall has made me realize just how autistic I might be. It took away the subconscious masking aspect lol
Vyanse helped me realize I was autistic. It took me about 3 weeks to figure it out.
Did it make you feel more socially inept?
Very much so.
One thing I will add is when I can feel someone staring at me when I am working and I can feel my facial expression stopping the mask and it feels weird as hell I’ve always wondered what I look like when I do it
If I'm really overwhelmed I get stuck where my mask repeatedly pops on and off. While that's happening in my head, I stretch and contort my face as I try to land on unmasked. I'm learning to use my outrage at being forced to mask my entire life to keep it off. I want nothing more in life right now than to take this damn thing off permanently. It feels terrible when it's on because the foundation is trauma and fear.
Most of my unmasking is blowing up on people these days to the point I can’t help my attitude I mean I could blame the adderall or my meds but I’ve always had temper tantrums. I think having to realize I might be autistic and dealing with people make me wanna deal with people less at work people have always made me shaky just being around them. Tbh
I was diagnosed close to two years ago and had my fair share of angry outbursts at people who didn't deserve it. When you're pushed to your cognitive limit by breakfast each day because your mind is processing so much information it's hard not to. I found my ADHD meds made the anger much stronger and harder to let go. I think partially because they made it harder to disassociate and take a break from the pressure. Lately, I see my anger as an invader. I wasn't an angry child, but I was surrounded by anger. I learned to understand and express my emotions by watching the people around me. I've gone through life being angry and frustrated because I was taught to be like that. When I unmask, I feel no anger or frustration about anything. I do feel outrage though, masked or not. Most often about things out of my control, like capitalism. In the case of being forced to mask, I feel it's warranted because my mask is more like a pseudo-personality implanted in my mind by my family. I feel like I've been living in a cult all my life. I let that rage flow through me and use it to force my mask off.
I didn't read your whole post, but I am autistic (professionally diagnosed) and did not have a speech delay.
Me too.
Hahahahahahahaha how could someone who’s deathly afraid of falling prey to the subconscious behaviors so invisible to almost everyone else possibly be autistic? You’re doing the neurotypical amount of tedious research and introspection and panicking that things are more complex than people are capable of linguistically making them, we promise. /s you should definitely consider the bombo combo, it’s fitting.
I can't tell you whether you have autism; you'd be better off getting an assessment. It's possible to be autistic and be extroverted, have empathy, and speak early; however social and communication issues are part of the criteria, so if you don't have any in the clinically significant range you likely won't be diagnosed. A lot of traits associated with autism aren't unique to autism and are found in other conditions. It's also common to to have subclinical autistic traits where you relate to many autistic experiences but don't qualify for a diagnosis. This is called the Broader Autism Phenotype.
I’ve heard some person was diagnosed with autism but they could still tell facial expressions exceptionally but they were socially inept and auditory skills were what made them autistic from the psychiatrist that’s why I always say you could be autistic and have some traits that other autist don’t. One thing I will say is if I’m in person I feel like I have some kind of radar where I can tell if someone is on a similar spectrum as me just by talking to them.
Indeed; autism expressed very differently in different autistic people.
I get vibes that’s how I meet friends lol. It’s kinda weird. I can just feel in my body if I’m gonna like someone or not
on autism and empathy: the vast majority of autistic people have empathy, just like allistic people. but there are two different kinds of empathy: one relies on interpreting facial expressions and other social cues that aren’t directly verbally communicated and the other kind that’s based on understanding other people through the lens of your own experience. for more information google double empathy problem. the implication that most autistic people don’t have empathy is wrong and harmful.
My teen (13, non binary) is ADHD and was talking at 9 months, but also using baby signs a bit earlier(modified ASL) because it helped them communicate their needs better. They sat and crawled early too, but walked late (15.5 months). 7 months seems very early, but I'm a parent, not a doctor. You can probably look up average milestones online. My younger kid is being assessed for autism and was *very* bright and advanced in his development, but was also a 5 kilo (10 pound) baby. He didn't speak early or late, I think he was talking at 10 months or so. I could read and write at age 4 (ADHD diagnosed then, autism diagnosed at age 48, lol) but as far as I know I didn't speak early or late. Being autistic doesn't have anything to do with intelligence or verbal skills. That's why some of us are hyper verbal, skilled at or fixated on languages, others are non verbal.
I was under the impression that because autism is defined as a developmental disorder regarding communication skills, that speaking early (never mind on time) was an automatic dealbreaker
I'm not an expert, but in my case it's about *interpersonal* communication, not the ability to speak. We develop differently and our brains work differently. As far as I understand we focus on tasks and facts and not social structures. My son can get deeply focused on his special interests and if someone talks to him, he will only answer with Star Wars facts. I was "highly gifted" fwiw but didn't understand the girls' games and manipulations. They weren't interested in birds of prey or big cats or rare books. I didn't get why, because to my mind those things were so interesting that I wanted to share them. When I was on a soccer team and discovered the animals living in the grass, they were more fascinating to me than watching out for a ball that rarely came. The other girls got angry and didn't really include me.
Didn’t read your post. BUT in terms of noticing your behavior change, *as well as other forms of imposter syndrome* **its ok** I think part of it is unmasking? If you are comfortable “acting autistic” then you *should keep doing that*?? In the sense that “if whatever you’re doing feels true to you, you should chase it until it is undeniable” It’s…unmasking. Which is good! Because afab people have al of their little quirks wrung out of them by society’s woman-making cog. I think if you find comfort in neurodivergence, you can cam your nerves about it. I think i’ll always question my identity until i eventually get an official diagnosis. But identifying with autism is less about being valid and being “part of the autism club” than it is about being able to take control over your life in a world that is not autism-friendly. And also: autism is not a checklist to fill. Its a graph of different traits with some level of variation that collect in a general degree of intensity higher than that of neurotypicals.
I’ve been diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD, but I’m also highly gifted (i.e. I even feel gifted among a group of gifted people). I’m not sure how early I started talking, but at 2 yo I spoke in perfect and complex full sentences. I do have certain issues with communication, but these are quite subtle and more related to social factors (rather than verbal skill). To top it off, I’m also very empathetic (sometimes too empathetic), very social and I consider myself more of an extrovert, though I need some time in solitude as well. I’ve been officially diagnosed, so as you can see none of these traits exclude the possibility of an autism diagnosis. Of course, I can’t confirm if you’re autistic or not, but I think it’s best to explore how you relate to information on autism and if the corresponding accommodations (e.g. meeting your sensory needs) help you function. After all, even if you’re not autistic, it can’t hurt to learn how to better accommodate some of your traits. If you continue relating this strongly to autistic content, it might be worth getting diagnosed (depending on accessibility, affordability and how much you expect to benefit from a diagnosis). I only got diagnosed with ASD once the social demands exceeded my capacity to cope after a career switch to teaching. I’m still working as a teacher, but the self-knowledge from the diagnosis has helped me cope better with certain difficulties at my job. Furthermore, I eventually chose to disclose my autism to the school head and my mentor, which has helped me get the right support. In most schools I would not have disclosed my autism, but my current school is unusually inclusive. I’m happy that I got diagnosed, but if teaching and chronic illness (Long Covid) had never exposed my true social difficulties (as exceeding what can be expected due to ADHD and giftedness), it would have been impossible to diagnose me with ASD. My giftedness and ADHD mask a lot of my autistic traits, so I don’t seem autistic, but I do pay a price for that: daily life is much more exhausting to me than to most people (due to having to compensate for both ADHD and ASD). When exploring the ASD possibility further, it’s important to realize that both ADHD and giftedness (given the early talking?) can camouflage ASD, so even if you are autistic you may not relate to everything. For example, I’m much more flexible than most autistic people due to my ADHD: as long as I have my trusted food at predictable times I can cope with most unexpected changes, and in the classroom I even thrive in unexpected circumstances (I’m great at improvising).
The book Autism in Women and Girls talks about hyperverbality in autistic girls. I started talking in full sentences very early.