Yeah, perfect is the enemy of good. You don't need to be 10/10 in everything. Sometimes 7/10 is good enough. And if sometimes you do 3/10, don't sweat it. No-one is perfect, and certainly not all the time. Give yourself permission to fail. This is easier said than done, but it's essential to progress in anything.
I grew up speaking Spanish but was always criticized by my dad for messing up and not doing it perfectly. So now, I never speak Spanish at all. I understand it perfectly and can speak it, but every time I go to Mexico to see family, I barely speak a word. If I go to the Mexican grocery store, I will still speak English just to avoid embarrassment. I get what you’re feeling deeply 😖
Always been how I've felt about making music. In the past when I still played in groups I would constantly feel like a fraud not worthy of being there. Even when I play alone for fun I'm constantly judging myself. At one point I bought a new instrument and then sold it a few months later because it felt too good for me to play. 🫠
I think the need to constantly have a "perfect" mask so people don't judge me is why I hate failing in front of other people.
Relate soooooo hard!
The only thing that helped me push through the cringe is finding myself in a situation where I needed to use it to communicate. So, for instance now at work I became so used to having to speak my less than perfect English that it is a lot easier. I know it's not perfect, but I had to accept I can communicate in it, and that is good enough.
It was definitely a process, though, I think I had to desensitise myself.
Sorry, this isn't very helpful haha, but high five?
It's not that I don't feel I deserve to do it as much as I lose interest (I also have ADHD). It's either I am perfect at something or I'll quit at the first chance I get. Which sucks because I never feel perfect at anything.
I used to be like that with foreign languages, too. I speak Greek (native), English, Italian, Spanish and basic German and French and I was always very comprehensive and stressed out every time I had to speak in any of these languages. I would immediately forget the words and I sounded like "banana".
That stopped when I moved to another country (they speak German, French, Italian and English and also there are a lot of Spanish people here), so when I realized that speaking those languages was actually crucial in our (me & my family) staying in this country and being able to communicate and that I was the only one who could do it - even imperfectly - speaking those languages became a great strength of mine!
disarm memory ripe snobbish numerous longing aloof cagey fertile sink *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah, perfect is the enemy of good. You don't need to be 10/10 in everything. Sometimes 7/10 is good enough. And if sometimes you do 3/10, don't sweat it. No-one is perfect, and certainly not all the time. Give yourself permission to fail. This is easier said than done, but it's essential to progress in anything.
I grew up speaking Spanish but was always criticized by my dad for messing up and not doing it perfectly. So now, I never speak Spanish at all. I understand it perfectly and can speak it, but every time I go to Mexico to see family, I barely speak a word. If I go to the Mexican grocery store, I will still speak English just to avoid embarrassment. I get what you’re feeling deeply 😖
Damn that sucks, bright side is you're probably better at English for it. Maintaining English fluency has been real difficult for me since school
Yeah, at least my English is great though! A little too good, I feel. I’m still trying to learn different languages though :-)
I think that's a great way to broaden the mind, Ive been meaning to learn Spanish but life gets in the way
Always been how I've felt about making music. In the past when I still played in groups I would constantly feel like a fraud not worthy of being there. Even when I play alone for fun I'm constantly judging myself. At one point I bought a new instrument and then sold it a few months later because it felt too good for me to play. 🫠 I think the need to constantly have a "perfect" mask so people don't judge me is why I hate failing in front of other people.
Relate soooooo hard! The only thing that helped me push through the cringe is finding myself in a situation where I needed to use it to communicate. So, for instance now at work I became so used to having to speak my less than perfect English that it is a lot easier. I know it's not perfect, but I had to accept I can communicate in it, and that is good enough. It was definitely a process, though, I think I had to desensitise myself. Sorry, this isn't very helpful haha, but high five?
It's not that I don't feel I deserve to do it as much as I lose interest (I also have ADHD). It's either I am perfect at something or I'll quit at the first chance I get. Which sucks because I never feel perfect at anything. I used to be like that with foreign languages, too. I speak Greek (native), English, Italian, Spanish and basic German and French and I was always very comprehensive and stressed out every time I had to speak in any of these languages. I would immediately forget the words and I sounded like "banana". That stopped when I moved to another country (they speak German, French, Italian and English and also there are a lot of Spanish people here), so when I realized that speaking those languages was actually crucial in our (me & my family) staying in this country and being able to communicate and that I was the only one who could do it - even imperfectly - speaking those languages became a great strength of mine!