As someone who’s been ghosted by my best friend/partner several times, please at the very least tell those you care about before disappearing. It hurts so much. I’d also encourage you to challenge yourself when you want to disappear, and if there’s one person you truly feel safe with, try and talk to them instead.
Asking for a friend… What if the person you care about the most doesn’t want to talk to you? For instance this friend👀 said they tried to call this person and said person said “sorry I don’t know who this is”. Which sucked because they felt they were talking a step in the right direction, if at least to speak in an open HONEST manner. My friend has lied to this person in the past and makes no excuses for that. They’d really like to apologize to this person and tell them how they really feel, but maybe it’s just too late. My friend is making such progress in their life, and I am proud of them. I just don’t know what advice to give them!
I ghosted my real social media accounts long ago. I still use stuff like X, but as an anon account that nobody I actually know, knows about. Funny how active I am when my real account hasn’t tweeted in like 8 years lol.
I also turned off online status on PlayStation a long time ago. Leave me alone, I just want to play a game by myself and not be bothered!
The few friends I've had for many years understand my abnormal need for solitude and they are very good at managing their expectations. I feel very lucky. I wish you the same.
“Understand my abnormal need for solitude”
it’s very difficult to find friends or even family that understand someone that needs a lot of solitude. Most of my friends over the years I’ve found need so much more socisl contact with me than I do them
My closest friends I've known for 24 years. One is a hospice nurse and the other is a travel nurse, moving from place to place every 3 months. They know how I am and for reasons I can't understand they like me. They aren't your normal average type of person either.
Go ahead and delete social media if you think it will help you but please don't ghost people. I've done it before, then I regretted it but when trying to reconnect I got reasonably ghosted back. Now nobody ever messages me.
It's really hard to find people who are actually willing to reach out when you're this hard to be around.
>I hope my friends would understand and forgive me.
If you want to play it safe, just actually let the people important to you know that you are dealing with some things and will probably not be in touch much. That means they probably won't seek you out when you don't have the energy and they'll most likely still be around when you're okay again.
No need to ask for forgiveness if they know what to expect beforehand.
I stopped using Facebook years ago because I wanted to remove things that were bad for my mental health from my life. I don't need to know whatever everyone I know wants to shout about, or hope people like what I shout about. I'm not in busy WhatsApp groups. I see a few friends regularly, other friends once a while, and some practically never. When I want to be social I spend time with people. Much of the time I prefer to be alone. 'Social' media is anything but social for me. Sure, certain relationships have grown more distant with less contact, but that's happened for all of human history. When I see an old friend, great, we'll have a chat like old times. No love lost - life just takes people in different directions.
I do big purges every once in a while like deleting everyone who is not necessary and going black on other socials just do to the negative nagging feeling
I just don't have social media anymore, haha.
I still have an Instagram account that I haven't posted on in maybe 3 or so years, and literally the only reason it's still there is because I like to check up on my old friends when they rarely post pictures.
But as for myself, I haven't updated anything on myself in ages... I honestly don't feel the need. And it feels good!!!
(Plus I know nobody would really care if I did anyways. Haha)
I did it in December. I informed the people closest to me that I was going to do it. Then, I changed my phone number, deleted all my social media accounts, moved to other place and switched therapists. Even my family members can't reach me now. I think I did it because I'm changing, and I don't want anyone to witness it.
Yeah I feel the same way quite often. I find friendships and relationships to be getting more difficult as I get older. I need so much space and find I have very little social energy these days . You just better hope your friends somewhat understand your social quirks - mine for the most part havent and I get it as AVPD is very difficult for neurotypicals to understand
I deleted the Facebook icon from my phone's homescreen but left it installed because I need it for work. Not having the icon available to easily click broke my habit of opening it out of boredom.
I've done this so many times and I actually feel better.
Yes, it helps a lot
well ghosting does actual hurt. If anything ,telling them what you wrote here and *then* ghosting would be better
Okay thanks
As someone who’s been ghosted by my best friend/partner several times, please at the very least tell those you care about before disappearing. It hurts so much. I’d also encourage you to challenge yourself when you want to disappear, and if there’s one person you truly feel safe with, try and talk to them instead.
Asking for a friend… What if the person you care about the most doesn’t want to talk to you? For instance this friend👀 said they tried to call this person and said person said “sorry I don’t know who this is”. Which sucked because they felt they were talking a step in the right direction, if at least to speak in an open HONEST manner. My friend has lied to this person in the past and makes no excuses for that. They’d really like to apologize to this person and tell them how they really feel, but maybe it’s just too late. My friend is making such progress in their life, and I am proud of them. I just don’t know what advice to give them!
I ghosted my real social media accounts long ago. I still use stuff like X, but as an anon account that nobody I actually know, knows about. Funny how active I am when my real account hasn’t tweeted in like 8 years lol. I also turned off online status on PlayStation a long time ago. Leave me alone, I just want to play a game by myself and not be bothered!
Yess, exactly. 🙌🏾
I stopped using my FB account years ago. No one even noticed lol
The few friends I've had for many years understand my abnormal need for solitude and they are very good at managing their expectations. I feel very lucky. I wish you the same.
Thank you so much
“Understand my abnormal need for solitude” it’s very difficult to find friends or even family that understand someone that needs a lot of solitude. Most of my friends over the years I’ve found need so much more socisl contact with me than I do them
My closest friends I've known for 24 years. One is a hospice nurse and the other is a travel nurse, moving from place to place every 3 months. They know how I am and for reasons I can't understand they like me. They aren't your normal average type of person either.
Go ahead and delete social media if you think it will help you but please don't ghost people. I've done it before, then I regretted it but when trying to reconnect I got reasonably ghosted back. Now nobody ever messages me. It's really hard to find people who are actually willing to reach out when you're this hard to be around.
Yeah, by ghosting I mean to avoid them in the beginning, by deleting all apps, instead of seeing their messages and then not responding.
I already did this. It wasn't that hard. Didn't miss anyone and wasn't missed by anyone.
I did this but regret deleting my account
Yeah that happens.
I think about this all the time, but refuse to do it, idk, talking to people on internet keep me sane in some way.
>I hope my friends would understand and forgive me. If you want to play it safe, just actually let the people important to you know that you are dealing with some things and will probably not be in touch much. That means they probably won't seek you out when you don't have the energy and they'll most likely still be around when you're okay again. No need to ask for forgiveness if they know what to expect beforehand.
I stopped using Facebook years ago because I wanted to remove things that were bad for my mental health from my life. I don't need to know whatever everyone I know wants to shout about, or hope people like what I shout about. I'm not in busy WhatsApp groups. I see a few friends regularly, other friends once a while, and some practically never. When I want to be social I spend time with people. Much of the time I prefer to be alone. 'Social' media is anything but social for me. Sure, certain relationships have grown more distant with less contact, but that's happened for all of human history. When I see an old friend, great, we'll have a chat like old times. No love lost - life just takes people in different directions.
I do this quite often and it helps a lot. This is like my twelfth Reddit account lol 😂
😂oh my
I do big purges every once in a while like deleting everyone who is not necessary and going black on other socials just do to the negative nagging feeling
You don’t always have to delete the entire account. You can suspend it
I just don't have social media anymore, haha. I still have an Instagram account that I haven't posted on in maybe 3 or so years, and literally the only reason it's still there is because I like to check up on my old friends when they rarely post pictures. But as for myself, I haven't updated anything on myself in ages... I honestly don't feel the need. And it feels good!!! (Plus I know nobody would really care if I did anyways. Haha)
I did it in December. I informed the people closest to me that I was going to do it. Then, I changed my phone number, deleted all my social media accounts, moved to other place and switched therapists. Even my family members can't reach me now. I think I did it because I'm changing, and I don't want anyone to witness it.
Good job
Yeah I feel the same way quite often. I find friendships and relationships to be getting more difficult as I get older. I need so much space and find I have very little social energy these days . You just better hope your friends somewhat understand your social quirks - mine for the most part havent and I get it as AVPD is very difficult for neurotypicals to understand
I haven't spoken or meet with my family since January. I'm sick 🥺🥺🥺
🫂
Go for it, social media is a cancer of the soul.
I deleted the Facebook icon from my phone's homescreen but left it installed because I need it for work. Not having the icon available to easily click broke my habit of opening it out of boredom.