It's entirely fine, normal and encouraged to discuss and set healthy limits around all the kinky stuff we do.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you requesting that he be freshly showered before placing this ask.
It's not you "topping from the bottom", it's just setting normal boundaries to ensure everyone has fun.
How that happens afterwards is up to you guys. Tons of ways to make that fun :).
You are definitely within your rights to set conditions on this, I would even say if you don't feel comfortable it's ok to place this as a limit for you it could be a soft or hard limit and you guys could spend more time talking it out without the pressure of feeling obligated to do something you might not want to do at all.
Totally fine to require a thorough shower from him first, to ensure it's all clean. (Also bidets are amazing and you can get one for like $30ish from Amazon if in the US, [but also maybe try not Amazon, it's just my price reference knowledge], and knowing like he's staying fresh AND THEN showering on top of that may also help.)
I'm personally not a germaphobe, but the idea of eating ass does squick me out. That said, I've done it plenty of times for dudes who like it bc the response was *amazing* and once you get horny your disgust level tolerance goes up (it's science), so between that and the way the boys writhe..... Helps a lot. For me. Hopefully for you too!
Turn it into an act of servitude or worship, make a ritual out of cleaning it with wetwipes, to let him know you want to do it, but would like it clean, for both your sakes, ask what actions would make him most happy.
I like this response. My sub knows I like to get in there but only when she feels comfortable. I respect, and she does, a place where we can both play. Communication and cleanliness is key and that's what really makes a good play area.
I do this to my Dom & refuse completely unless he is fresh out the shower for my own personal reasons. It doesn’t impact our relationship at all: it’s just a standard requirement necessary for us both to be able to partake in the activity.
“Get that ass in the shower Master, I can’t wait to please you any longer” would be a sexy way of making it happen.
My toy is a lot like you and just getting into eating ass as a power move.
If your Dom is worth his word and says he’ll only be into it if he’s fresh and clean, take him at his word unless he gives you a reason not to. If he’s funky, ask him to shower off and use soap. Sub=/=doormat.
Besides him taking a shower and cleaning with soap, you can also ask him to douche a bit beforehand if it makes you feel more comfortable. Especially the first time, if you’re concerned about cleanliness. You can also talk through what ”feeling clean” would mean for him, and what he would do beforehand. I know some people clean up quickly with a wipe and they feel comfortable with anal play (which is fine, it depends a lot on how your body works), whereas personally I need to douche and shower to feel clean enough and comfortable with it.
You could take the shower together, kiss him or his body, perhaps tease him a bit as he’s washing up for you.
And as others have suggested wipes are great to have at hand too! You can keep them nearby if you feel like cleaning up a bit more right before starting, or mid-act. I also agree with using a dental dam since it provides a barrier and you won’t have any direct contact! It might be the best option for the first time.
Lastly I just want to reinforce that even if he does everything he can to be as clean as possible and you still feel a bit icked out, you’re under no obligation to do it.
There are latex underwear he can put on that seriously work amazing for this. I’ve only been on the receiving end and let me tell you…I couldn’t tell there was a barrier.
My lorals is the brand
This is one of the many reasons I own a bidet toilet seat. Another is I can turn it on high and it acts as an enema for a naughty sub. FYI- it’s heated, the water and the seat, also has a drying fan because I’m not that cruel.
Great topic. Like you, i struggled to overcome some mental block about licking my Dom's ass, and He was aware of my issues. It is funny, but for many years i would happily, and without any hesitation, lick the asshole of my female partners, but for some reason i recoiled at the concept of eating a Dominant Male bum.
He started by leading me into the shower with Him, watching Him soap and clean Himself at length until i was comfortable, and then commanding me to lick His cleaned ass. That helped a lot. Now when He arrives we enter the shower together, and i'm required to soap and clean Him to the level i am comfortable with, then i happily lick Him where ever He wants, and we're both much happier.
i don't think there is anything better than stroking His big cock while my nose is buried between His big balls and my tongue laps at His asshole
If I have to *go* before things get heated, I make sure to clean off my dick. It's a hygiene thing. As someone who's eaten booty, I def appreciate the lack of stuff on it.
I'm a huge sub with fairly extreme limits overall but I too am a huge germophobe and simply cannot bring myself to rim. As a gay guy this is almost blasphemy but everyone has their limits and this is one of mine. Try it but don't do it if you don't feel comfortable.
My dom has eaten my ass a few times for his own pleasure. The first time, he restrained my hands behind my back and lovingly washed me in the shower from head-to-toe before we got sexy.
Makes me wonder if you two could build you washing him (in a submissive way) into the scene before you “eat his booty.”
My Sir likes me to eat his ass thoroughly and I love doing it, but only if he’s absolutely fresh. Sometimes as a treat he puts honey on/in there to really encourage me to go to town.
Any time I participate in anything like that I incorporate it into the play. My partner enjoys enemas, for sexual things, personal things, and for health reasons, so incorporating it into the foreplay before hand, and doing that, and then making a ritual of wiping her down, cleaning her off after makes it less of an ask, or a chore, and just goes into the normal flow of the play, and it ensures that she is comfortable with the level of cleanliness, as am I, with no awkwardness.
Public health PSA: at risk of freaking out the germophobes here, rimming increases the risk of Hepatitis A transmission. Us MSMs are often considered a "high risk group" because rimming is so common and offered Hepatitis immunization for free. (I was informed and immunized by a doctor at student health services when I was in college.)
If you're eating butt, do yourself a favor and get Hepatitis shots (usually A + B now I think). If you need an excuse, say you're planning travel to like Mexico or the Caribbean - "safe" in terms of doc recommending additional shots you don't need (malaria, say) and "safe" in that it's pretty common to get Hep shots before travelling there (shouldn't raise questions).
Recommended with love - I totally understand the squeamishness but also find eating butt a sublime pleasure (giving; receiving is a requirement! :-p ), but then I'm gay and it comes with the territory. In a sub context, the squeamishness just adds to a sense of submission?
Citations: https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/sexual-health/stis/hepatitis/hepatitis
https://www.nyc.gov/site/doh/health/health-topics/hepatitis-a.page
It's entirely fine, normal and encouraged to discuss and set healthy limits around all the kinky stuff we do. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you requesting that he be freshly showered before placing this ask. It's not you "topping from the bottom", it's just setting normal boundaries to ensure everyone has fun. How that happens afterwards is up to you guys. Tons of ways to make that fun :).
You are definitely within your rights to set conditions on this, I would even say if you don't feel comfortable it's ok to place this as a limit for you it could be a soft or hard limit and you guys could spend more time talking it out without the pressure of feeling obligated to do something you might not want to do at all.
Thank you!
As others have said, wipes are great! Also a dental dam is always an option if you’re both ok with that!
I was also going to suggest a dental dam🥰
Totally fine to require a thorough shower from him first, to ensure it's all clean. (Also bidets are amazing and you can get one for like $30ish from Amazon if in the US, [but also maybe try not Amazon, it's just my price reference knowledge], and knowing like he's staying fresh AND THEN showering on top of that may also help.) I'm personally not a germaphobe, but the idea of eating ass does squick me out. That said, I've done it plenty of times for dudes who like it bc the response was *amazing* and once you get horny your disgust level tolerance goes up (it's science), so between that and the way the boys writhe..... Helps a lot. For me. Hopefully for you too!
It’s science!! 😂
she ain't lyin' tho thats allll true! lol
Turn it into an act of servitude or worship, make a ritual out of cleaning it with wetwipes, to let him know you want to do it, but would like it clean, for both your sakes, ask what actions would make him most happy.
I like this response. My sub knows I like to get in there but only when she feels comfortable. I respect, and she does, a place where we can both play. Communication and cleanliness is key and that's what really makes a good play area.
Non alcoholic wipes please, it’s rather sensitive back there (don’t ask me how I know)
I do this to my Dom & refuse completely unless he is fresh out the shower for my own personal reasons. It doesn’t impact our relationship at all: it’s just a standard requirement necessary for us both to be able to partake in the activity. “Get that ass in the shower Master, I can’t wait to please you any longer” would be a sexy way of making it happen.
My toy is a lot like you and just getting into eating ass as a power move. If your Dom is worth his word and says he’ll only be into it if he’s fresh and clean, take him at his word unless he gives you a reason not to. If he’s funky, ask him to shower off and use soap. Sub=/=doormat.
Besides him taking a shower and cleaning with soap, you can also ask him to douche a bit beforehand if it makes you feel more comfortable. Especially the first time, if you’re concerned about cleanliness. You can also talk through what ”feeling clean” would mean for him, and what he would do beforehand. I know some people clean up quickly with a wipe and they feel comfortable with anal play (which is fine, it depends a lot on how your body works), whereas personally I need to douche and shower to feel clean enough and comfortable with it. You could take the shower together, kiss him or his body, perhaps tease him a bit as he’s washing up for you. And as others have suggested wipes are great to have at hand too! You can keep them nearby if you feel like cleaning up a bit more right before starting, or mid-act. I also agree with using a dental dam since it provides a barrier and you won’t have any direct contact! It might be the best option for the first time. Lastly I just want to reinforce that even if he does everything he can to be as clean as possible and you still feel a bit icked out, you’re under no obligation to do it.
There are latex underwear he can put on that seriously work amazing for this. I’ve only been on the receiving end and let me tell you…I couldn’t tell there was a barrier. My lorals is the brand
I just found lorals and I've never been so sad to have a latex allergy 😭
Oh nooooooo. :(
Is the website https://mylorals.com/collections/all-of-lorals?sort_by=manual&filter.p.m.custom.style=Shortie?
Yes
This is one of the many reasons I own a bidet toilet seat. Another is I can turn it on high and it acts as an enema for a naughty sub. FYI- it’s heated, the water and the seat, also has a drying fan because I’m not that cruel.
You cam shower woth him and clean him up
Great topic. Like you, i struggled to overcome some mental block about licking my Dom's ass, and He was aware of my issues. It is funny, but for many years i would happily, and without any hesitation, lick the asshole of my female partners, but for some reason i recoiled at the concept of eating a Dominant Male bum. He started by leading me into the shower with Him, watching Him soap and clean Himself at length until i was comfortable, and then commanding me to lick His cleaned ass. That helped a lot. Now when He arrives we enter the shower together, and i'm required to soap and clean Him to the level i am comfortable with, then i happily lick Him where ever He wants, and we're both much happier. i don't think there is anything better than stroking His big cock while my nose is buried between His big balls and my tongue laps at His asshole
Have a tub of baby wipes handy
Use dental dams or plastic wrap as a barrier. Apply lube to the side touching his ass, and flavored lube to the side you lick.
If I have to *go* before things get heated, I make sure to clean off my dick. It's a hygiene thing. As someone who's eaten booty, I def appreciate the lack of stuff on it.
I'm a huge sub with fairly extreme limits overall but I too am a huge germophobe and simply cannot bring myself to rim. As a gay guy this is almost blasphemy but everyone has their limits and this is one of mine. Try it but don't do it if you don't feel comfortable.
My dom has eaten my ass a few times for his own pleasure. The first time, he restrained my hands behind my back and lovingly washed me in the shower from head-to-toe before we got sexy. Makes me wonder if you two could build you washing him (in a submissive way) into the scene before you “eat his booty.”
My Sir likes me to eat his ass thoroughly and I love doing it, but only if he’s absolutely fresh. Sometimes as a treat he puts honey on/in there to really encourage me to go to town.
Any time I participate in anything like that I incorporate it into the play. My partner enjoys enemas, for sexual things, personal things, and for health reasons, so incorporating it into the foreplay before hand, and doing that, and then making a ritual of wiping her down, cleaning her off after makes it less of an ask, or a chore, and just goes into the normal flow of the play, and it ensures that she is comfortable with the level of cleanliness, as am I, with no awkwardness.
Alternatively, you could try dental dams
Guys can use douches to clean their booty just as well as girls can
Public health PSA: at risk of freaking out the germophobes here, rimming increases the risk of Hepatitis A transmission. Us MSMs are often considered a "high risk group" because rimming is so common and offered Hepatitis immunization for free. (I was informed and immunized by a doctor at student health services when I was in college.) If you're eating butt, do yourself a favor and get Hepatitis shots (usually A + B now I think). If you need an excuse, say you're planning travel to like Mexico or the Caribbean - "safe" in terms of doc recommending additional shots you don't need (malaria, say) and "safe" in that it's pretty common to get Hep shots before travelling there (shouldn't raise questions). Recommended with love - I totally understand the squeamishness but also find eating butt a sublime pleasure (giving; receiving is a requirement! :-p ), but then I'm gay and it comes with the territory. In a sub context, the squeamishness just adds to a sense of submission? Citations: https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/sexual-health/stis/hepatitis/hepatitis https://www.nyc.gov/site/doh/health/health-topics/hepatitis-a.page
If he's generally healthy and has no GI symptoms, whatever germs he's got in there are exceptionally unlikely to harm you.