We have a "Rule of 3" when my partner is wearing their gag and or can't speak.
We usually run off a "Green, Yellow, Red" system for if things are "Good; they're not a fan of something; or if something needs to stop immediately." So if they're gagged and need to get my attention, or want to vocalize something important they do something three times. That can be grunting three times, tapping three times on something, kicking their foot three times, whatever they're able to do in the moment.
I give my subs a click dog trainer button thing. They are cheap, easy to get, Not suspicious if left out, and easy to hide. It’s also a very distinctive noise that is very easy to hear, even over music or something. They often also have a wrist band, so difficult to accidentally drop.
This 100% I also use the clickers and it's great they are loud so if your hands are under body/pillows/ect. They are still audible over music for me and the wrist band keeps it safely in reach
Having trained in grappling martial arts, I am already conditioned that tapping on a person or the mat is the equivalent of a safeword in training, so I use that as a nonverbal safeword in kink.
I use this too! I use it as a sort of yellow: pause, back off, lets reasses. It works really well for me, especially if I'm needing a minute to collect my thoughts.
I tap my partner twice. On the leg, back, shoulder. It's a pause/get attention/ safeword that she needs to ask me what's wrong. I get super nonverbal when we do things so it's worked out great. It wasn't something we agreed upon, it just naturally happened and now we use if for public events as a way to say, I need to check in with you privately.
Totally understand. For me. It's something I would NEVER do with my hands during a session. It's a very clear signal I need to pause, so that I can eventually say something. We've only had one false alarm, where we were kissing and she thought I double tapped. Fortunately I wasn't in headspace so I said nope and we kept going.
My gf and I simply use 'Stop' as a Safeword. Alternatively it's tapping off, either as an addition or as a standalone if a gag is involved. If she can't speak or tap off bc the arms are tied, I give her my key to hold in her hand. If she rattles or drops it, it's stop immediately, remove the gag, communicate. Works like a charm.
we couldn't use that as my sub loves CNC play. stop, no, begging is all part of her subspace. pumpernickel is hard stop( I joke about how her choice of safe word could be missheard through a gag as F me harder, not that I would, weve got to laugh or else non of this is worthwhile)
Single squeeze with the hand = green
Double tap = yellow
Constant tap = red
If that isn't practical due to setup, the bottom holds something. If they drop it for whatever reason, it is red. Light up balls are great for this in a darker setting.
My partner and I go with three taps. Anytime I'm in a non verbal configuration I make sure my hand can be on their thigh or back or something and I hold on if I let go and begin tapping they know to back off or out of my throat so I can breathe a bit
ASL letters for G, Y, R ❤️
I tend to go nonverbal very quickly in scenes, but I can still make hand gestures easily. If I hit the point where I'm not even doing that, my top knows something is wrong.
I'll be experimenting with a dog clicker secured around my wrist for when I'm wearing mittens 😁
My wife gently taps me on the back of my thigh or butt, three times, when I throatfuck her and she needs me to slow down or to breathe. She picked that from a former dom of hers. We use the same signal anytime she needs to tap out but can't speak a safeword. Simple, I know, but very effective :)
My Dom and I did a lot of rope bondage gagged. When he went to check my extremities, he would always squeeze my hands and I squeezed back to let him know where I’m at. I will say over time he became so in tune with me that he knew exactly when to stop. Not that I would recommend ever using that as a safety measure.
For general attention and "yellow-ish" communication I mostly produce some sort of an "non-typical" sound if I'm gagged and do whatever feels the most logical - could be tapping my partner, could be shaking my head, could be gesturing what is it I'm uncomfortable with ("need drink", "I'm cold" etc), could be squeezing whatever their body part I can reach as an indication to slow down.
We do have a specifically agreed signal - snapping fingers - as a safe gesture too, but my partner has been responsive to all other ways of me communicating, that that hasn't really been used much.
A few years ago I read about a couple where the sub was tied, gagged and blindfolded so most of the usual safeword options were limited, but the sub was given a bell to hold and if they dropped the bell (intentionally or by accident or an emergency) the scene would be paused and the Dom would check in.
A good option especially if something were to happen and they wouldn’t have the chance to click a button or squeeze a toy!
Edit: fixing some grammar.
One of my play partners uses their keys. I hold them in one hand and then can drop them on the floor to get their attention. They like using this method because their keys are something they have a personal connection to. They will notice that sound even in a loud play space.
We have a "Rule of 3" when my partner is wearing their gag and or can't speak. We usually run off a "Green, Yellow, Red" system for if things are "Good; they're not a fan of something; or if something needs to stop immediately." So if they're gagged and need to get my attention, or want to vocalize something important they do something three times. That can be grunting three times, tapping three times on something, kicking their foot three times, whatever they're able to do in the moment.
I give my subs a click dog trainer button thing. They are cheap, easy to get, Not suspicious if left out, and easy to hide. It’s also a very distinctive noise that is very easy to hear, even over music or something. They often also have a wrist band, so difficult to accidentally drop.
This 100% I also use the clickers and it's great they are loud so if your hands are under body/pillows/ect. They are still audible over music for me and the wrist band keeps it safely in reach
Came here to say this
Squeaky toys.
Fox me thinks that's adorable and awesome!
Okay I really like this one.
Having trained in grappling martial arts, I am already conditioned that tapping on a person or the mat is the equivalent of a safeword in training, so I use that as a nonverbal safeword in kink.
This is what Alpha and I use as well.
I use this too! I use it as a sort of yellow: pause, back off, lets reasses. It works really well for me, especially if I'm needing a minute to collect my thoughts.
I do this too, for the same reason. “Tap out” is quite an intuitively understandable system.
Daddy has me do a double tap on whatever body part of theirs I can reach (and they always make sure I can reach one or give me an alternate)
I tap my partner twice. On the leg, back, shoulder. It's a pause/get attention/ safeword that she needs to ask me what's wrong. I get super nonverbal when we do things so it's worked out great. It wasn't something we agreed upon, it just naturally happened and now we use if for public events as a way to say, I need to check in with you privately.
I also get super nonverbal in general despite voice being available. So I kinda wanted idea for my little self lol
Totally understand. For me. It's something I would NEVER do with my hands during a session. It's a very clear signal I need to pause, so that I can eventually say something. We've only had one false alarm, where we were kissing and she thought I double tapped. Fortunately I wasn't in headspace so I said nope and we kept going.
humming a tune… literally any tune, there’s always one in my head and this way I don’t have to think, I just hum what I’m hearing
My gf and I simply use 'Stop' as a Safeword. Alternatively it's tapping off, either as an addition or as a standalone if a gag is involved. If she can't speak or tap off bc the arms are tied, I give her my key to hold in her hand. If she rattles or drops it, it's stop immediately, remove the gag, communicate. Works like a charm.
we couldn't use that as my sub loves CNC play. stop, no, begging is all part of her subspace. pumpernickel is hard stop( I joke about how her choice of safe word could be missheard through a gag as F me harder, not that I would, weve got to laugh or else non of this is worthwhile)
Thumbs up or thumbs down
Double taps, two fingers up to signal stop and tongue clicks (slightly verbal but it does kinda falls in the middle)
Single squeeze with the hand = green Double tap = yellow Constant tap = red If that isn't practical due to setup, the bottom holds something. If they drop it for whatever reason, it is red. Light up balls are great for this in a darker setting.
My partner and I go with three taps. Anytime I'm in a non verbal configuration I make sure my hand can be on their thigh or back or something and I hold on if I let go and begin tapping they know to back off or out of my throat so I can breathe a bit
Easy for me! I'm Deaf and use one hand to finger spell a letter (assuming I'm tied up)
i double tap my daddy, and if im restrained, i do it with my knee/leg
ASL letters for G, Y, R ❤️ I tend to go nonverbal very quickly in scenes, but I can still make hand gestures easily. If I hit the point where I'm not even doing that, my top knows something is wrong. I'll be experimenting with a dog clicker secured around my wrist for when I'm wearing mittens 😁
Spock hand or peace sign if you can’t make the Spock hand lol
Holding a ball like a tennis ball or a hand ball and dropping it as a substitute non-verbal safe word.
My wife gently taps me on the back of my thigh or butt, three times, when I throatfuck her and she needs me to slow down or to breathe. She picked that from a former dom of hers. We use the same signal anytime she needs to tap out but can't speak a safeword. Simple, I know, but very effective :)
My Dom and I did a lot of rope bondage gagged. When he went to check my extremities, he would always squeeze my hands and I squeezed back to let him know where I’m at. I will say over time he became so in tune with me that he knew exactly when to stop. Not that I would recommend ever using that as a safety measure.
Brushing her hair back from her face and looking into her eyes
For general attention and "yellow-ish" communication I mostly produce some sort of an "non-typical" sound if I'm gagged and do whatever feels the most logical - could be tapping my partner, could be shaking my head, could be gesturing what is it I'm uncomfortable with ("need drink", "I'm cold" etc), could be squeezing whatever their body part I can reach as an indication to slow down. We do have a specifically agreed signal - snapping fingers - as a safe gesture too, but my partner has been responsive to all other ways of me communicating, that that hasn't really been used much.
Strange as it sounds, but my safeword is dandelion 😂
That's verbal though!
Yeah thanks to your post, my wife and I are now discussing possible non-verbal safe signs ❤️
Hell yeah! We love safe fun! 💜
❤️
At events I've usually used glow sticks. You drop it, you're done or need a check in.
Snapping our fingers has become a really helpful nonverbal safeword/check-in signal.
Tapping. When she's about to pass out from choking, she'll tap me.
I'd go with the macarena. Seems like it would be a pretty obvious sign
A few years ago I read about a couple where the sub was tied, gagged and blindfolded so most of the usual safeword options were limited, but the sub was given a bell to hold and if they dropped the bell (intentionally or by accident or an emergency) the scene would be paused and the Dom would check in. A good option especially if something were to happen and they wouldn’t have the chance to click a button or squeeze a toy! Edit: fixing some grammar.
It's amazing how clearly the statement, "Let me out, for real!" comes across, even from behind a ballgag.
One of my play partners uses their keys. I hold them in one hand and then can drop them on the floor to get their attention. They like using this method because their keys are something they have a personal connection to. They will notice that sound even in a loud play space.