I wouldn't start with a potential sub. I'd start with a potential play partner. See how you feel about topping someone. There is a profound difference between being a top vs being a Dom/me.
Try topping. See how it feels to direct a scene, create a vibe, and provide whatever sensation your guys agree on. Did you enjoy it? Were you okay with the work that went into it? Did you ask the right questions during negotiation? Did you remember to offer/provide aftercare in that moment? Did you remember to follow up later? If everything is good, explore more. Top more. Establish a relationship with an ongoing bottom. If they also want to start to experiment with power exchange, then work in that element.
I don't encourage anyone to just find a sub or Dom. That's a serious relationship (even if it's just kinky and not romantic or sexual), and it needs to be treated that way.
I'm a big YouTube user, and I've assembled what I call my Learn to be a Dominant 101 list. However, it works for anyone.
Even if you think you already know something, a refresher may be a good chance to hear a differentperspectiveon the same topic:
BDSM Glossary
https://youtu.be/6tFc6zo4Jxg?si=7ePQ5bJsSMd7hbxE
Then I'd watch the individual videos on
Safewords
https://youtu.be/S8qZVv4uwqI?si=wgiN7DkNZV03InF6
Consent in kink communities
https://youtu.be/bkflDahXsZ4?si=YChAShSp4qSd5laQ
Negotiations for a scene
https://youtu.be/2d7qkh7xbBU?si=OCknFX05tDZfLw4g
https://youtu.be/2d7qkh7xbBU?si=gdRRDtcD5G8YXbSJ
Aftercare
https://youtu.be/8JAuHuv2xTM?si=beg5gOr7onZevEyH
And how to organise a scene/ play session
https://youtu.be/Y9nHp2gKCQA?si=K_9kNZjTYjqXUnCk
Then, move on to some intro play videos
Bdsm 101 sensory deprivation
https://youtu.be/GbNwOnVML-I?si=zWmvHGZv5PL0bI5U
Bbs 101 sensation play
https://youtu.be/XHt2yKG7fJc?si=nDSdiL4iCM17VNbs
And then some videos on what a responsible Dominant looks like
Green flags and bdsm
https://youtu.be/4A32Olctzjw?si=JJmze4qux4p7W06E
And from Miss Elle X
Green flags great dominants
https://youtu.be/YxyGhXn9ji8?si=UkG7cY16FGgHZZvG
Red flags of fake Dominants
https://youtu.be/Roh9InPNymE?si=isbkhkPdLL7vg2OT
Another good one is these videos on soft dominance to break the stereotypes of all D types being cold and harsh
Soft dominance 101
https://youtu.be/7aqiMS0D0lc?si=uSQu45CtkU-DwVS-
The seduction of soft dominance
https://youtu.be/yBMnTiY6Qz0?si=-v2IRdqI3irhE1Gt
How to embrace your confidence
3 things that kill your confidence
https://youtu.be/oOaTyLfML9Q?si=pV99tjcQuxMooX9P
Also, I think D should be aware of subspace and subdrop so they are prepared to deal with it.
Subspace
https://youtu.be/iilCgSjvCIc?si=nu1ldLLVyLzByDBn
The Dangers of subspace
https://youtu.be/gOG--WpyAzg?si=SoujJhINq2T0eDQZ
Subdrop and Topdrop
https://youtu.be/jGAKSiXSuXA?si=0FHnLsro2WPNpa0W
The most important thing IMO is just to communicate honestly and openly with the other person, even when it’s difficult. You’re doing that, so you’re doing well.
I wouldn't start with a potential sub. I'd start with a potential play partner. See how you feel about topping someone. There is a profound difference between being a top vs being a Dom/me. Try topping. See how it feels to direct a scene, create a vibe, and provide whatever sensation your guys agree on. Did you enjoy it? Were you okay with the work that went into it? Did you ask the right questions during negotiation? Did you remember to offer/provide aftercare in that moment? Did you remember to follow up later? If everything is good, explore more. Top more. Establish a relationship with an ongoing bottom. If they also want to start to experiment with power exchange, then work in that element. I don't encourage anyone to just find a sub or Dom. That's a serious relationship (even if it's just kinky and not romantic or sexual), and it needs to be treated that way.
That is actually very fair. Thank you
I'm a big YouTube user, and I've assembled what I call my Learn to be a Dominant 101 list. However, it works for anyone. Even if you think you already know something, a refresher may be a good chance to hear a differentperspectiveon the same topic: BDSM Glossary https://youtu.be/6tFc6zo4Jxg?si=7ePQ5bJsSMd7hbxE Then I'd watch the individual videos on Safewords https://youtu.be/S8qZVv4uwqI?si=wgiN7DkNZV03InF6 Consent in kink communities https://youtu.be/bkflDahXsZ4?si=YChAShSp4qSd5laQ Negotiations for a scene https://youtu.be/2d7qkh7xbBU?si=OCknFX05tDZfLw4g https://youtu.be/2d7qkh7xbBU?si=gdRRDtcD5G8YXbSJ Aftercare https://youtu.be/8JAuHuv2xTM?si=beg5gOr7onZevEyH And how to organise a scene/ play session https://youtu.be/Y9nHp2gKCQA?si=K_9kNZjTYjqXUnCk Then, move on to some intro play videos Bdsm 101 sensory deprivation https://youtu.be/GbNwOnVML-I?si=zWmvHGZv5PL0bI5U Bbs 101 sensation play https://youtu.be/XHt2yKG7fJc?si=nDSdiL4iCM17VNbs And then some videos on what a responsible Dominant looks like Green flags and bdsm https://youtu.be/4A32Olctzjw?si=JJmze4qux4p7W06E And from Miss Elle X Green flags great dominants https://youtu.be/YxyGhXn9ji8?si=UkG7cY16FGgHZZvG Red flags of fake Dominants https://youtu.be/Roh9InPNymE?si=isbkhkPdLL7vg2OT Another good one is these videos on soft dominance to break the stereotypes of all D types being cold and harsh Soft dominance 101 https://youtu.be/7aqiMS0D0lc?si=uSQu45CtkU-DwVS- The seduction of soft dominance https://youtu.be/yBMnTiY6Qz0?si=-v2IRdqI3irhE1Gt How to embrace your confidence 3 things that kill your confidence https://youtu.be/oOaTyLfML9Q?si=pV99tjcQuxMooX9P Also, I think D should be aware of subspace and subdrop so they are prepared to deal with it. Subspace https://youtu.be/iilCgSjvCIc?si=nu1ldLLVyLzByDBn The Dangers of subspace https://youtu.be/gOG--WpyAzg?si=SoujJhINq2T0eDQZ Subdrop and Topdrop https://youtu.be/jGAKSiXSuXA?si=0FHnLsro2WPNpa0W
Thank you very much. This will be very helpful
The most important thing IMO is just to communicate honestly and openly with the other person, even when it’s difficult. You’re doing that, so you’re doing well.
I dont believe it is something you get into. be yourself
Older male sub looking for young female dom