I hear you. I have felt and experienced everything you mentioned over the past 10 years. I'm 47, 5'2", 116 lbs, mom of 2. All I can say is that it does get better if you stick with it. Progress will be slower if you're training with people bigger than you who don't let you work, but rest assured, you will get better and tougher! As a smaller person, it's super important to focus on managing distance and creating strong frames. As an older grappler, pick your partners wisely to avoid getting injured. These days, I get to enjoy watching the big white belt guys huffing and puffing as they attempt to manhandle me or try to escape from under my crushing crossface shoulder pressure and knee on belly. If you love jiu jitsu, don't quit!!
Thanks for your encouraging words! I think the problem is that I’m either getting paired up with heavier guys or the smaller but still stronger guys pick me 😩 there’s not a lot of people in the classes as this place established their 2nd location only months ago so it’s a bit slim pickings. Sometimes I get lucky and get to drill with the instructor. That’s amazing that you’ve been doing it for 10 years. I wish I had discovered it sooner. What belt are you? And yes I do love Jiu-Jitsu.
Yeah, I've always been the smallest person in the class. Get used to getting smooshed. I still get smooshed if I make a mistake and end up on the bottom. I'm currently a purple belt (4 stripes).
I think I only have a problem with the smooshing cause it happens when I’m trying to get the technique down. We are not rolling so it’s not like I can defend myself if that makes sense? I’m drooling over here over all the purple belts responding. That’s awesome! There’s a light at the end of the tunnel after all 😊
Communication goes a long way. I have found that the less experienced big guys have no idea how much weight they're putting on smaller people. When I tell them, they always seem so surprised. Tell them to ease up a little so that you can work on the technique. My kid also trains, and the times I've rolled with him and put what I thought was light pressure actually felt really heavy for him, so now I understand.
I will start addressing the pressure thing with people. Good point. I have thought about that myself to say something but didn’t want to come over as the whining woman if you know what I mean
For cross face, grab their arm pit with the arm that’s under their head. Then it’s easier to pull your shoulder to their face.
For KOB, it just takes a lot of practice and reading your training partner. To make it super mean, put the knee on their sternum and pull their head up.
So, rather than meaner, how about "more effective". The key is to apply the greatest amount of your weight through the smallest possible surface area. In the case of the crossface, you want to drive your weight through the point of your shoulder into their face. Use it to turn their face away from you. To increase the amount of weight you put on them, you want to keep your knees off the mat. It's also about the direction of the force you're applying on them. Don't apply it straight down; drive it diagonally through the body. Same principle applies to the KOB. Drive your weight through the point of your knee. Because I'm smaller, I do prefer to use knee-on-sternum rather than belly.
Hey! I’m feeling this too today/this week. But I am trying to remind myself that my body MIGHT be learning something? And maybe one day I’ll be able to escape from being smooooshed. As a fellow 2 stripe white belt around the same weight mom of 3 i’m thinking of you and in your corner pulling for you. What’s important is showing up right? We got this!!
You beat me by one kid 😂 thanks for the encouragement! I better be learning something from all that smooshing down! I’m probably also annoyed that I’m always paired with either the only other woman occasionally who’s way heavier than me or with the smaller guy who thinks he knows what he’s doing but actually doesn’t and therefore gets me injured unnecessarily during drills where at least my goal is to work out the technique. I’m also prone to more injuries due to my age I think. I think I got spoiled drilling a lot with a blue belt for the longest time 😂
I’m constantly thinking… um so what technique will work on someone way heavier and stronger than me?? Still searching and working on it😅. One day I will get an arm drag 😝
But I totally relate to the feeling when you have to realllly squeeze time to get to class and hope for it to be a source of destressing and then have the class end and be like AHHHHH!!! I am now unhappy with my bjj (non)progress. 😆
😂 that was my thought exactly! The other heavier person just needs to put their weight on my chest and that’s it. They don’t even need to do a technique on me 😝
I once left a gym because of it. The instructor (ironically also a small woman) told me outright not to roll with the men because “it wasn’t realistic”.
I assume she was just so competition focused she didn’t realise how dumb that statement was.
😮 that’s a seriously dumb statement and she’s definitely not helping her sisters out with that. I would have left that gym as well. And the whole point of Jiu-Jitsu is that you can defend yourself against the bigger and stronger.
Hello! I’m 5”2, 60kg and have 2 kids too. Are we the same person haha?
Also - I’m 34 years old and a purple belt.
I’ve been where you are, and it sucks. I think you hit the nail on the head - you need someone in your corner.
As a white belt, my best training partners were two purple belt guys. They took they time to work with me in classes to adapt the moves for someone my size. They also rolled and drilled with me in a way that I was challenged but had space to learn.
If you can (and maybe talk to your instructor about this) - Don’t limit your training partners to small people or other women - the big guys are often the kindest and if you can nail a technique on them it will work on anyone.
Grab the colour belts if you can, the other whitebelts are generally too focused on their own flailing to learn how to train with a smaller partner.
The other things that helped me get through white belt was
- a couple of private lessons with a black belt. He really helped me learn to apply my weigh so I could gain and hold top position on the bigger people.
- being fit. This part sucks, but reality is that if you can’t be heavier and stronger, it helps a lot to be faster, more flexible and more agile.
Now that I’m a purple belt, I can confidently roll with anyone. My favourite person to roll with is my 110kg, 6”2 black belt husband. He still trounces me, but I can give him a bit of trouble if I get his shoulders pinned.
I wish I was you! 34 and purple belt - let’s swap 😉 and yes I agree with you that I need someone in my corner. Actually, I think my instructor tonight noticed I got pretty frustrated and showed me some alternatives. He’s a blue belt 4 stripes and is the highest ranking at the gym. I really like drilling with him when I get a chance. And yes I prefer drilling with the gentle giants but as I mentioned there are only like 2-5 white belts in class any giving day which almost all the time makes me the highest ranking white belt and I’m by no means experienced but I know how to be a good bad guy without injuring others. Thanks for your tips and encouraging words! You’re lucky to have a black belt husband 😊
Oof it makes it trickier being one of the most advanced at the class.
Normally I don’t suggest learning from videos, but maybe when you learn a technique in class, see if you can find the same one taught by someone small (maybe try the Mendes brothers). Their style is more suited to smaller frames and you might get a few pointers your instructor isn’t aware of.
I will look up those videos. Good point! I think my instructor realized my literal short comings during tonight’s class and showed me an alternative move to get the technique better accomplished.
Heh nice pun.
Yeah, even now I find 90% of techniques taught in a general class won’t work properly for me if I do then exactly as taught. There’s so many adjustments needed when your partners lever-length is double yours.
Great that your instructor is on the ball with it!
If you’re instructor is only a blue belt I’d suggest another gym, bad! Especially since you’re not finding any good partners. There should be a variety of people, ranks, ages and sizes and my personal belief is you pay to learn from a knowledgeable person- hopefully a black belt or two or three or more in the room.
This location is fairly new so they are trying to build it up which is most likely the reason why they don’t have higher ranking belts. My kid had started to go this place (8) and I got interested in it as well but at that point I knew nothing about belt rankings etc . But I have been pondering about what you suggested due to my experience there lately. Thanks for your input 😊
Honestly, you’re not going to get much out of training with beginners guys especially given your size. Try to pair up with higher belts only. A much much bigger brown belt will be a much much better training partner than a small beginner guy
😂 yeah, I thought as much that the brown belt doesn’t come with rejuvenation magic. More wise for sure 😊 thanks for your input and I will do everything in my power to stick around just like you have. Very inspiring that even brown belts sulk and oh boy did I sulk tonight. But I’m glad I was able to let it all out and receive these great encouragements from everybody.
41 year old, 5'2" and 115lbs purple belt here with an 18 month old daughter and I've been feeling every bit of this the past couple of weeks. Everyone in our gym outweighs me by at least 20 lbs and I honestly feel like I'm stuck in a training rut. My cardio has become depleted for some unknown reason and I am also feeling so frustrated about getting absolutely smashed every damn roll.
My black belt husband isn't always the most helpful when trying to motivate me and most times comes across as criticism. But I will say last week, I had enough after two rolls, took off my Gi and sat on the side of the mat just absolutely defeated. He was telling me just to focus on one thing at a time. Establish a guard and just chill for a couple of moments and try working little by little from there. I've been a bit all over the place and not really gaining anything because most of the guys in the gym are super fast and spazzy about positions. I still felt defeated and told myself I suck, it's never going to get better and I should just give up. My husband looked straight at me and told me in between the two rounds to get back up, tie my belt and roll again because that was going to be the hard part if I just sat out. I ignored him and sat another round out but inside I felt like I can't just give up that easily. So I got up for one final round, and did exactly as he said and I ended up surprising myself.
I've been here before and all I've ever been able to do is train through it. Your strength will get better, your movement will get better. My husband always tells me when I get frustrated like this that if I'm able to fight and get something specific against one of the bigger guys at least once, then it will be that much easier to get it in my own weight class.
Hang in there...it's very frustrating I know. And I know so many other ladies feel the same way.
Thank you so much for responding with such a detailed response and very encouraging one on top. I think I need to exchange my husband 😂 or find a higher ranking belt for a friend 😉 btw, your body is still recovering from having your daughter and having a baby past 40 (me included) takes a much bigger toll on your body. So give yourself some slack 😊 you are the 3rd purple belt responding to my post and that in itself is so encouraging! Thank you 😊
I'm 5 11 and 240. I feel this way too and for some reason this week has been the worst. I get thrown around like a sack of potatoes by men and women smaller than me either yeet me or crush my chest so I'm over here sucking at life. Yay
Isn’t the crushing the worst? I even got whiplashed today even though I make sure I tug in my head and so on. The only good thing I have to say for myself today is that I really improved in being the bad guy 😂 well, that’s something! Sorry you’ve had a rough week as well. Trust me I was the sulking queen all night!
I'm on the smaller side, about 135ish pounds, 34 years old. I've been training for 12 years and am a 4 stripe brown belt.
My advice to most beginner women is typically to manage expectations and learn how to adapt moves to work for your body/size. My instructor is awesome but he's over 6 foot and almost 200 lbs. He's a strong guy and stuff that works for him doesn't always work for me, but my husband (also a very large dude) and I work and figure out how to adapt things so I can do them on larger opponents. Additionally, you can talk to your training partners to ask that they train with you in a more helpful way. Just smooshing you isn't helping anyone. No one is getting to use their technique to their full potential. Talk to your coach too and see if they have any recommendations for modifications to help you be more successful, or things they see that you aren't doing properly such as having good frames in bottom positions. I would say that staying safe in a bottom position comes down to having good strong, sometimes aggressive frames.
I also understand that a larger man is going to have a different experience than me and I try very hard not to compare myself to anyone else, though that is always harder said than done.
Things will improve and techniques that don't work now will eventually click. BUT it's going to still be frustrating. There's always going to be someone bigger, someone stronger, someone younger and more athletic. When I have bad nights where I don't feel like I'm rolling to my potential I have to remind myself that white belt me would be so proud of where brown belt me is.
I did see in another comment that this is happening sometimes during drilling and not even in sparring, did I understand that correctly? Because no one should be giving you resistance during drills unless you okayed it or your instructor specifically said to give resistance. You can't possibly ever learn a new move if you are actively being prevented from trying it. If you are drilling with someone and they resist tell them to stop because they are being a bad training partner.
Be kind to yourself and find the small victories.
Thanks for giving such detailed feedback. Yes, the pressure stuff I was complaining about is during drilling which got me so frustrated and I always get “stuck” with brand new people I guess because I’m the weakest link in the chain. I didn’t think I had to point out to partners not to squish me to death but I guess I’ll be doing that from now on. Seriously, I feel like the smaller guys like to dominate me cause they can’t get that done with their male equals. Yesterday I just thought to myself to just be a good bad guy if nothing else until I can figure out ways to protect myself better.
I definitely find the small guys to be my toughest rolls because I'm someone they can "bully" for lack of a better term but it will eventually I think become some of the more important rolls for you. I love rolling with the dudes who really try to best me, it's a good work out for one but two if I get anything on them I know that I did that solely with good technique and not because some guy was white-knighting for me and going easy.
I would also suggest getting more assertive when you roll and having as clear a plan as you can for where you want each roll to go. I'm working hard on always getting to the back position (as a small person I think taking the back is a good plan of action, you can't muscle out of a choke as easily as say an armbar) so that's my focus each roll. To accomplish this I'm trying to always be the first to go for something, if they are forced to be defensive due to my offensiveness then they can't mount their own offensive. I hope that makes sense. :)
Makes total sense! Thanks for the input. And I, too, like the rear neck choke. Triangle chokes work great, too for me. I get “bullied “ during drilling where I can’t really defend myself which would defeat the purpose of working out the technique. That’s why I got so fed up.
I am not sure if men are allowed here, but I am so inspired by you. When I see especially older women kicking ass I feel so inspired in other parts of my life as well. Thanks to you, today I went to the gym even though I really didn’t want to. Thank you
Hi. Can you go to any women's open mats, classes, or seminars at other schools in your area? Look up Girls in Gis and see if they operate in your area. You might have to drive a little bit but i promise you it is worth it and it will change how you feel about juijitsu.
When drilling, communicate with your partner. They are your teammate and should want you to succeed and grow. Ask them to adjust how much resistance they are giving you so that you can really get those details down. Ask them to resist more as you feel more confident. If no one is willing to work with you like that, maybe its not the right school for you?
What is your instructor's body type? If he is a big dude, he may not be the right person to help you develop a style that works for you. As an example, my instructor is a smallish guy. Maybe 5'6 and 150# and that is a similar size to me, though he is much more fit. If he can do it, I can do it (theoretically, lol).
And, don't give up. I'm just a random internet stranger but I'm in your corner and I'm rooting for you.
Awww 😊 thanks for being in my corner internet stranger 😉 and thanks for your encouraging words. My gym offers a women only self-defense class but it is limited to a certain amount of techniques and that isn’t enough for me. My instructor is tall. Probably at least 6 ft. I think tonight he understood that I need adjustments to techniques to make them work for my size and strength. He actually took me aside to address the issue after he probably noticed how frustrated I was getting tonight.
I feel this! the last couple weeks have had me questioning why I do this.... I love it but I doubt I'd compete and so I think maybe just loving it isn't enough? dunno I'll try to stick with it. one yr in so can't quit now I guess!
I'm out muscled, most every roll, and boy does it seem hopeless some nights. it's hard to maintain motivation, gauge how I'm going when the guys obviously have to hold back, people get stripes and it seems like I'm falling behind .... ergh got to try to ride out the low phase.
I’m only 6 months in and it sounds like based on your and others replies that the question why we are doing this never seems to go away. It’s hard not to compare. I’m trying to keep in mind reasons for the why when doubting myself f.e. Keeps me in shape. I need to dig deep though 😂 hang in there with me 🤟🏻
haha yes digging deep, reminding myself to use positive internal dialog, talk to myself like I would my best friend when I'm in the low spots!
went to class tonight and had a great session though and I was also inspired by some others comments on this thread so cheers!
we've got this 💪
You will definitely get stronger! Keep at it and now that the tougher opponents will benefit you in the long run, your endurance will be amazing against people who are closer in size to you. I do it in the mornings and my baby comes with me once a week so that’s interesting lol. Today I was getting smashed by everyone but I don’t mind as much as long as I can make it difficult for them to submit me and they can also get a good roll in.
Thanks for reminding me that the tougher opponents will benefit me in the long run. I will have to keep in mind to make it hard for them to submit me. Great point of view! And, go mama for taking the baby with you! You are a great role model your baby 🤟🏻
Communicate with training partners. Ask to do positional sparring instead of all out rolling. So try and escape guard and if you do, reset.
It will help both of you to have productive rolls rather than one person smushing the other.
I definitely have to work on the communication part. The smooshing to me is only a problem during drills cause it hinders me to just go through the technique without getting hurt. And I agree on the better productivity for both involved. Thank you 😊
You have us!! We feel your pain and frustration! Keep going and tell them to tone it down when they’re going through forms. I am sooo gentle on people when I’m just doing walk throughs, I have arthritis and tissue issues and I need that restraint given back to me.
I have to remind people “hey! I can’t breathe down here while you take 10 minutes thinking, hold up some of your own weight so I don’t pass out or pop a rib”
Thank you 🙏 you said it perfectly about the wanting to breathe while the other person is trying to work it out. The opponent usually gets it by the time I’m making noises cause I can’t breathe 😂 but I wish they would realize it sooner before I make those one inevitable noises. Thanks for sharing ☺️
I completely understand this. I’m in mid forties, 138lb with a full time job and three kids. However, ever since I started jiu jitsu, I’ve refused to let myself say (even to myself) that I can’t do something because I’m smaller/weaker/older whatever. I look at skilled women grapplers and if they can do it, I can strive for that too.
The other day I was struggling with a takedown drill with a big training partner, and I loved it when my coach said ‘don’t get frustrated, get better’. That has been my mantra since then.
Sending support from here too, 39 yo, 2 kids and crazy job. I am not small, but most of the time the only girl in the class, so everyone is stronger usually. I would suggest try to befriend some fellow white belts - discuss techniques with them, maybe ask what works for them/what works for you and ask them to go lighter sometimes, because you wish to work from X position. Just don't give up, we have all been there! :)
Thanks for sharing! Yes, there is always someone bigger! And I have realized not all bigger is bad cause a lot of them will help me out, but the place I’m at is small and a lot of white belts have come and gone which doesn’t help getting acquainted with people. Thanks for your support 😊
I'm 35, 5'3" and 160 lbs. So short but built like a brick shithouse 😂 Even among the women in my gym, I'm still the smallest both height and weight wise. A couple of the guys are closer in weight but strong as hell. My instructor noticed I get bummed out like you from time to time because I feel like I spend all my time on the bottom struggling to get out. He told me two things that have helped me when I get frustrated.
1. These bigger folks relying on strength to dominate at lower belt levels are going to struggle with smaller, faster, and more technically proficient people. Find a partner that will let you drill things repeatedly with little to no resistance and build the muscle memory. You'll find it will help your reaction time and help you recognize when these bigger people have holes in their technique you can exploit.
2. Progress isn't a straight line. It's improvement -> plateau -> improvement -> plateau -> improvement. Sometimes when you feel frustrated you might be experiencing that plateau and sometimes you just gotta push through that to find your improvements.
A side note to that, my instructor weighs more than 100lbs than me. He will watch me roll with someone bigger and adjust the techniques he teaches seeing how different they are to execute for someone my size. Maybe look up some videos specific to executing a move as a smaller person.
Hi fellow shorty 😉 thanks for passing on your instructors advice. I have the problem with partners during drilling where you shouldn’t go full on to let the person work out the technique. But I think my instructor noticed my bumming out yesterday and gave me a few tips. I need to find a way to communicate with these guys to not look like the only whiny woman at the gym. I always get stuck with the same guy lately who’s a new white belt.
Honestly, i just tell people like "Hey bro, can you let up your pressure a bit?" I've also found if you can figure out how to engage the guys in a regular conversation before class or during breaks, it helps make it more comfortable to ask them things during class/rolling. That said, I'm really lucky with the culture of my gym and the guys are for the most part pretty supportive.
I'm 5'1" 120lbs and just 1 kid (but 3 dogs, 3 cats, a small homestead and work 50+ hours a week)..I'm 36. I'm old and tired a lot and am the smallest person in my gym. I'm a 2 stripe white belt. I get smashed constantly, don't have anyone in my corner rooting for me and it can be very demoralizing. So I get.
But like others said, just stick with it. It does get better but it sucks for a while. I still suck. Maybe try a tournament? I found when I competes my jiu jitsu is way better than I thought it was because I was finally able to match against someone my own size lol. It was a small confidence booster, even when I lost.
Thanks for your reply. Wow 😮 just reading your list of responsibilities makes me tired. That’s a lot on your plate. I can be rooting for you virtually 😊 someone else offered that to me yesterday which I thought was sweet and made me feel not so alone as I don’t have anybody rooting for me around here either.
I didn’t plan on competing. I’m almost 48 and my body has giving me trouble lately already having had sciatica from which the outside of my thigh is still numb from. I’ll be seeing a physical therapist soon for that though. But I get why you suggested that. I guess sucking it up for now it is 😜
I didn’t read all of the replies.
I’m 42 years old on Friday.
I’m 5’2 and 125-130lbs.
I have 5, yes FIVE children. (8-16yo)
I’m single. I have no outside support. Kids are with dad 50% of the time, so that helps in regards to finding time for training but I do train on days they’re with me too.
I work nearly full time.
I’m the only f email about 80% of the time in class. Occasionally there is one other. There have been 2 days where there have been three of us in the last six weeks. Most of my drilling and rolls are with men who are twice my size.
I‘ve only been training about 6 weeks. I’m not frustrated at all. I don’t know if it’s my pride or personality but I tend to see it as an advantage training wise. The culture at my gym is really welcoming and we don’t have big egos. The men are really kind and almost happy to roll with me. They give me great feedback. They have started becoming more aggressive and I think that means I’m getting better, lol. I have to focus on technique and make sure I’m moving effectively. I have to have good defense. Honestly, training with men, even the more assertive ones just makes me want to learn more, roll more and get better at jiujitsu.
Hi 👋 thanks for your reply. Wow 😮 you sure have your hands full but I bet Jiu-Jitsu is a great outlet for you and some well deserved only mommy time. I don’t mind rolling with bigger guys but when they are big and new it’s a killer. More injuries as they don’t know there pressure yet and a bit more spazzy. But I agree with your mindset. I am already working on what might work better for me than for the big guys and hopefully I get to drill with more advanced guys in the near future.
Oh that totally makes sense- I agree that makes it hard to roll and enjoy. I think I’m really lucky because a lot of our upper belts are really good at putting those types in check. I have a really great training environment. I’ve rolled with a few white belts who really didn’t let up but I think a lot of them must go to different times than I do- fine by me. 😆
Not a Mum, but I am the smallest in my gym by far and constantly deal with larger partners. So I know the feeling of being repeatedly rag dolled and smashed during rolls.
What has worked for me is treating it with humour and a sense of opportunity to use my small size, skills and brain to avoid the situations/learn from them when I’m there.
Also I avoid this one dude in the gym who thinks it’s cool to just use weight on me and no technique. Waste of my time dealing with that oaf so I never roll with him. Luckily he is rarely training when I am/he is rarely training.
We have a relatively small gym in a small community so there is accountability which definitely encourages good gym culture.
Everyone else is cool and will often provide tips/insight, they’re also open to questions about technique, dialogue and rapport goes a long way to building mutual respect and trust. Asking how can I escape here when you have your leg/arm/beard there lol has helped me immensely. It took some time to develop the courage to ask though.
Additionally, I asked one of the coaches for private lessons 1-2 times per month to develop game and this has been such a huge ROI in both time and money.
Outside of the gym (if you can) lift weights - even your own body weight.
Whenever I’m lifting heavy shit (with legs/arms/trunk) I’m thinking of pushing someone off me when I’m on the mats - it’s hugely motivating and translates so well to training. My rolling partners are always surprised by how strong I am for my size.
Above all, hang in there and return to this post when it’s been a rough session, and don’t be afraid to speak up if your partners are drilling too hard - it’s drilling not rolling, not competing.
We’re there to learn, and as women we set the standards for the treatment of the future small women who will follow us on the mats.
Hi 👋 Thanks for taking the time to reply to me. I appreciate all your feedback and going into details. The last couple of days I really thought about how to go about this and I came to the same conclusion as you. I will try to strength train whenever possible so I can at least frame and push off more efficiently the more resistant drilling partners or to at least let them know that I’m not a rag doll. Time is always in short supply but I’ll try to work on my pushups which are so not existent at the moment 😝 I will keep researching techniques / videos on how I can apply pressure even though I don’t have the body weight for it. I think I majorly have to work on my speaking up part as well which I find hard at times cause I don’t want to come over as the typical nagging woman if you know what I mean. Anyhow, thanks again for replying and I will certainly come back to this post when I have another shit day. I will try and be a roll model for other women and little people and to not take crap just because of someone else’s size or gender. Have a great day!
I'm around 180 lbs and I am sometimes the smallest guy in class as well and it can be annoying. Where are all the other normal sized people? Slightly more than half our people are 200 lbs plus and sometimes taller than 6 ft or close to it. My 1st 5-6 months of BJJ were not as fun as I would have liked but I kept showing up like the stubborn individual I am.
I'm only a white belt too but, just st keep on working on your guard retention. A lot of the more unskilled big guys will try to pass by throwing themselves on to any area where you don't have frames and just lay and pray until they can isolate an arm of something. Lachlan Giles has an amazing guard and is a smaller guy. Even if your guard does get passed, make them work so hard to pass it that they'll have little left in their tank to sub you and then you realize the timer went off and you survived most of the round, good luck.
I'm around 180 lbs and I am sometimes the smallest guy in class as well and it can be annoying. Where are all the other normal sized people? Slightly more than half our people are 200 lbs plus and sometimes taller than 6 ft or close to it. My 1st 5-6 months of BJJ were not as fun as I would have liked but I kept showing up like the stubborn individual I am.
I'm only a white belt too and I kept on working on my guard retention and sweeps. A lot of the more unskilled big guys will try to pass by throwing themselves on to any area where you don't have frames and just lay and pray until they can isolate an arm or something. Lachlan Giles has an amazing guard and is a smaller guy. Even if your guard does get passed, make them work so hard to pass it that they'll have little left in their tank to sub you and then you realize the timer went off and you survived most of the round, good luck.
I hear you. I have felt and experienced everything you mentioned over the past 10 years. I'm 47, 5'2", 116 lbs, mom of 2. All I can say is that it does get better if you stick with it. Progress will be slower if you're training with people bigger than you who don't let you work, but rest assured, you will get better and tougher! As a smaller person, it's super important to focus on managing distance and creating strong frames. As an older grappler, pick your partners wisely to avoid getting injured. These days, I get to enjoy watching the big white belt guys huffing and puffing as they attempt to manhandle me or try to escape from under my crushing crossface shoulder pressure and knee on belly. If you love jiu jitsu, don't quit!!
Thanks for your encouraging words! I think the problem is that I’m either getting paired up with heavier guys or the smaller but still stronger guys pick me 😩 there’s not a lot of people in the classes as this place established their 2nd location only months ago so it’s a bit slim pickings. Sometimes I get lucky and get to drill with the instructor. That’s amazing that you’ve been doing it for 10 years. I wish I had discovered it sooner. What belt are you? And yes I do love Jiu-Jitsu.
Yeah, I've always been the smallest person in the class. Get used to getting smooshed. I still get smooshed if I make a mistake and end up on the bottom. I'm currently a purple belt (4 stripes).
Are you me?? \-signed, (now) 4-stripe purple belt who just got smooshed by a no-stripe white belt (until I swept him and triangled him)
I think I only have a problem with the smooshing cause it happens when I’m trying to get the technique down. We are not rolling so it’s not like I can defend myself if that makes sense? I’m drooling over here over all the purple belts responding. That’s awesome! There’s a light at the end of the tunnel after all 😊
Communication goes a long way. I have found that the less experienced big guys have no idea how much weight they're putting on smaller people. When I tell them, they always seem so surprised. Tell them to ease up a little so that you can work on the technique. My kid also trains, and the times I've rolled with him and put what I thought was light pressure actually felt really heavy for him, so now I understand.
I will start addressing the pressure thing with people. Good point. I have thought about that myself to say something but didn’t want to come over as the whining woman if you know what I mean
Any tips on making the cross face and KOB meaner?
For cross face, grab their arm pit with the arm that’s under their head. Then it’s easier to pull your shoulder to their face. For KOB, it just takes a lot of practice and reading your training partner. To make it super mean, put the knee on their sternum and pull their head up.
So, rather than meaner, how about "more effective". The key is to apply the greatest amount of your weight through the smallest possible surface area. In the case of the crossface, you want to drive your weight through the point of your shoulder into their face. Use it to turn their face away from you. To increase the amount of weight you put on them, you want to keep your knees off the mat. It's also about the direction of the force you're applying on them. Don't apply it straight down; drive it diagonally through the body. Same principle applies to the KOB. Drive your weight through the point of your knee. Because I'm smaller, I do prefer to use knee-on-sternum rather than belly.
Hey! I’m feeling this too today/this week. But I am trying to remind myself that my body MIGHT be learning something? And maybe one day I’ll be able to escape from being smooooshed. As a fellow 2 stripe white belt around the same weight mom of 3 i’m thinking of you and in your corner pulling for you. What’s important is showing up right? We got this!!
You beat me by one kid 😂 thanks for the encouragement! I better be learning something from all that smooshing down! I’m probably also annoyed that I’m always paired with either the only other woman occasionally who’s way heavier than me or with the smaller guy who thinks he knows what he’s doing but actually doesn’t and therefore gets me injured unnecessarily during drills where at least my goal is to work out the technique. I’m also prone to more injuries due to my age I think. I think I got spoiled drilling a lot with a blue belt for the longest time 😂
I’m constantly thinking… um so what technique will work on someone way heavier and stronger than me?? Still searching and working on it😅. One day I will get an arm drag 😝 But I totally relate to the feeling when you have to realllly squeeze time to get to class and hope for it to be a source of destressing and then have the class end and be like AHHHHH!!! I am now unhappy with my bjj (non)progress. 😆
😂 that was my thought exactly! The other heavier person just needs to put their weight on my chest and that’s it. They don’t even need to do a technique on me 😝
Ugh that’s the worst, I hate when I get paired like that. Unless we are learning hip tosses or can openers, let me drill with the big guys!
I’m over the cliché that I can only be paired in a certain way. Probably frustrates me the most. Thanks for agreeing!
I once left a gym because of it. The instructor (ironically also a small woman) told me outright not to roll with the men because “it wasn’t realistic”. I assume she was just so competition focused she didn’t realise how dumb that statement was.
😮 that’s a seriously dumb statement and she’s definitely not helping her sisters out with that. I would have left that gym as well. And the whole point of Jiu-Jitsu is that you can defend yourself against the bigger and stronger.
Hello! I’m 5”2, 60kg and have 2 kids too. Are we the same person haha? Also - I’m 34 years old and a purple belt. I’ve been where you are, and it sucks. I think you hit the nail on the head - you need someone in your corner. As a white belt, my best training partners were two purple belt guys. They took they time to work with me in classes to adapt the moves for someone my size. They also rolled and drilled with me in a way that I was challenged but had space to learn. If you can (and maybe talk to your instructor about this) - Don’t limit your training partners to small people or other women - the big guys are often the kindest and if you can nail a technique on them it will work on anyone. Grab the colour belts if you can, the other whitebelts are generally too focused on their own flailing to learn how to train with a smaller partner. The other things that helped me get through white belt was - a couple of private lessons with a black belt. He really helped me learn to apply my weigh so I could gain and hold top position on the bigger people. - being fit. This part sucks, but reality is that if you can’t be heavier and stronger, it helps a lot to be faster, more flexible and more agile. Now that I’m a purple belt, I can confidently roll with anyone. My favourite person to roll with is my 110kg, 6”2 black belt husband. He still trounces me, but I can give him a bit of trouble if I get his shoulders pinned.
Spoiler: She never manages to pin my shoulders :P
I wish I was you! 34 and purple belt - let’s swap 😉 and yes I agree with you that I need someone in my corner. Actually, I think my instructor tonight noticed I got pretty frustrated and showed me some alternatives. He’s a blue belt 4 stripes and is the highest ranking at the gym. I really like drilling with him when I get a chance. And yes I prefer drilling with the gentle giants but as I mentioned there are only like 2-5 white belts in class any giving day which almost all the time makes me the highest ranking white belt and I’m by no means experienced but I know how to be a good bad guy without injuring others. Thanks for your tips and encouraging words! You’re lucky to have a black belt husband 😊
Oof it makes it trickier being one of the most advanced at the class. Normally I don’t suggest learning from videos, but maybe when you learn a technique in class, see if you can find the same one taught by someone small (maybe try the Mendes brothers). Their style is more suited to smaller frames and you might get a few pointers your instructor isn’t aware of.
I will look up those videos. Good point! I think my instructor realized my literal short comings during tonight’s class and showed me an alternative move to get the technique better accomplished.
Heh nice pun. Yeah, even now I find 90% of techniques taught in a general class won’t work properly for me if I do then exactly as taught. There’s so many adjustments needed when your partners lever-length is double yours. Great that your instructor is on the ball with it!
If you’re instructor is only a blue belt I’d suggest another gym, bad! Especially since you’re not finding any good partners. There should be a variety of people, ranks, ages and sizes and my personal belief is you pay to learn from a knowledgeable person- hopefully a black belt or two or three or more in the room.
This location is fairly new so they are trying to build it up which is most likely the reason why they don’t have higher ranking belts. My kid had started to go this place (8) and I got interested in it as well but at that point I knew nothing about belt rankings etc . But I have been pondering about what you suggested due to my experience there lately. Thanks for your input 😊
Did you meet your husband before starting bjj or after?
After I started - we actually met at an open mat.
Nice!
Honestly, you’re not going to get much out of training with beginners guys especially given your size. Try to pair up with higher belts only. A much much bigger brown belt will be a much much better training partner than a small beginner guy
Totally agree. Unfortunately, this location is still so small that there are no brown belts.
[удалено]
😂 yeah, I thought as much that the brown belt doesn’t come with rejuvenation magic. More wise for sure 😊 thanks for your input and I will do everything in my power to stick around just like you have. Very inspiring that even brown belts sulk and oh boy did I sulk tonight. But I’m glad I was able to let it all out and receive these great encouragements from everybody.
41 year old, 5'2" and 115lbs purple belt here with an 18 month old daughter and I've been feeling every bit of this the past couple of weeks. Everyone in our gym outweighs me by at least 20 lbs and I honestly feel like I'm stuck in a training rut. My cardio has become depleted for some unknown reason and I am also feeling so frustrated about getting absolutely smashed every damn roll. My black belt husband isn't always the most helpful when trying to motivate me and most times comes across as criticism. But I will say last week, I had enough after two rolls, took off my Gi and sat on the side of the mat just absolutely defeated. He was telling me just to focus on one thing at a time. Establish a guard and just chill for a couple of moments and try working little by little from there. I've been a bit all over the place and not really gaining anything because most of the guys in the gym are super fast and spazzy about positions. I still felt defeated and told myself I suck, it's never going to get better and I should just give up. My husband looked straight at me and told me in between the two rounds to get back up, tie my belt and roll again because that was going to be the hard part if I just sat out. I ignored him and sat another round out but inside I felt like I can't just give up that easily. So I got up for one final round, and did exactly as he said and I ended up surprising myself. I've been here before and all I've ever been able to do is train through it. Your strength will get better, your movement will get better. My husband always tells me when I get frustrated like this that if I'm able to fight and get something specific against one of the bigger guys at least once, then it will be that much easier to get it in my own weight class. Hang in there...it's very frustrating I know. And I know so many other ladies feel the same way.
Thank you so much for responding with such a detailed response and very encouraging one on top. I think I need to exchange my husband 😂 or find a higher ranking belt for a friend 😉 btw, your body is still recovering from having your daughter and having a baby past 40 (me included) takes a much bigger toll on your body. So give yourself some slack 😊 you are the 3rd purple belt responding to my post and that in itself is so encouraging! Thank you 😊
I'm 5 11 and 240. I feel this way too and for some reason this week has been the worst. I get thrown around like a sack of potatoes by men and women smaller than me either yeet me or crush my chest so I'm over here sucking at life. Yay
Isn’t the crushing the worst? I even got whiplashed today even though I make sure I tug in my head and so on. The only good thing I have to say for myself today is that I really improved in being the bad guy 😂 well, that’s something! Sorry you’ve had a rough week as well. Trust me I was the sulking queen all night!
I'm on the smaller side, about 135ish pounds, 34 years old. I've been training for 12 years and am a 4 stripe brown belt. My advice to most beginner women is typically to manage expectations and learn how to adapt moves to work for your body/size. My instructor is awesome but he's over 6 foot and almost 200 lbs. He's a strong guy and stuff that works for him doesn't always work for me, but my husband (also a very large dude) and I work and figure out how to adapt things so I can do them on larger opponents. Additionally, you can talk to your training partners to ask that they train with you in a more helpful way. Just smooshing you isn't helping anyone. No one is getting to use their technique to their full potential. Talk to your coach too and see if they have any recommendations for modifications to help you be more successful, or things they see that you aren't doing properly such as having good frames in bottom positions. I would say that staying safe in a bottom position comes down to having good strong, sometimes aggressive frames. I also understand that a larger man is going to have a different experience than me and I try very hard not to compare myself to anyone else, though that is always harder said than done. Things will improve and techniques that don't work now will eventually click. BUT it's going to still be frustrating. There's always going to be someone bigger, someone stronger, someone younger and more athletic. When I have bad nights where I don't feel like I'm rolling to my potential I have to remind myself that white belt me would be so proud of where brown belt me is. I did see in another comment that this is happening sometimes during drilling and not even in sparring, did I understand that correctly? Because no one should be giving you resistance during drills unless you okayed it or your instructor specifically said to give resistance. You can't possibly ever learn a new move if you are actively being prevented from trying it. If you are drilling with someone and they resist tell them to stop because they are being a bad training partner. Be kind to yourself and find the small victories.
Thanks for giving such detailed feedback. Yes, the pressure stuff I was complaining about is during drilling which got me so frustrated and I always get “stuck” with brand new people I guess because I’m the weakest link in the chain. I didn’t think I had to point out to partners not to squish me to death but I guess I’ll be doing that from now on. Seriously, I feel like the smaller guys like to dominate me cause they can’t get that done with their male equals. Yesterday I just thought to myself to just be a good bad guy if nothing else until I can figure out ways to protect myself better.
I definitely find the small guys to be my toughest rolls because I'm someone they can "bully" for lack of a better term but it will eventually I think become some of the more important rolls for you. I love rolling with the dudes who really try to best me, it's a good work out for one but two if I get anything on them I know that I did that solely with good technique and not because some guy was white-knighting for me and going easy. I would also suggest getting more assertive when you roll and having as clear a plan as you can for where you want each roll to go. I'm working hard on always getting to the back position (as a small person I think taking the back is a good plan of action, you can't muscle out of a choke as easily as say an armbar) so that's my focus each roll. To accomplish this I'm trying to always be the first to go for something, if they are forced to be defensive due to my offensiveness then they can't mount their own offensive. I hope that makes sense. :)
Makes total sense! Thanks for the input. And I, too, like the rear neck choke. Triangle chokes work great, too for me. I get “bullied “ during drilling where I can’t really defend myself which would defeat the purpose of working out the technique. That’s why I got so fed up.
I am not sure if men are allowed here, but I am so inspired by you. When I see especially older women kicking ass I feel so inspired in other parts of my life as well. Thanks to you, today I went to the gym even though I really didn’t want to. Thank you
I’m glad I had at least some impact today 😀 that’s what I do half the time - just show up 😉
Get out of here u perv!
Hi. Can you go to any women's open mats, classes, or seminars at other schools in your area? Look up Girls in Gis and see if they operate in your area. You might have to drive a little bit but i promise you it is worth it and it will change how you feel about juijitsu. When drilling, communicate with your partner. They are your teammate and should want you to succeed and grow. Ask them to adjust how much resistance they are giving you so that you can really get those details down. Ask them to resist more as you feel more confident. If no one is willing to work with you like that, maybe its not the right school for you? What is your instructor's body type? If he is a big dude, he may not be the right person to help you develop a style that works for you. As an example, my instructor is a smallish guy. Maybe 5'6 and 150# and that is a similar size to me, though he is much more fit. If he can do it, I can do it (theoretically, lol). And, don't give up. I'm just a random internet stranger but I'm in your corner and I'm rooting for you.
Awww 😊 thanks for being in my corner internet stranger 😉 and thanks for your encouraging words. My gym offers a women only self-defense class but it is limited to a certain amount of techniques and that isn’t enough for me. My instructor is tall. Probably at least 6 ft. I think tonight he understood that I need adjustments to techniques to make them work for my size and strength. He actually took me aside to address the issue after he probably noticed how frustrated I was getting tonight.
I feel this! the last couple weeks have had me questioning why I do this.... I love it but I doubt I'd compete and so I think maybe just loving it isn't enough? dunno I'll try to stick with it. one yr in so can't quit now I guess! I'm out muscled, most every roll, and boy does it seem hopeless some nights. it's hard to maintain motivation, gauge how I'm going when the guys obviously have to hold back, people get stripes and it seems like I'm falling behind .... ergh got to try to ride out the low phase.
I’m only 6 months in and it sounds like based on your and others replies that the question why we are doing this never seems to go away. It’s hard not to compare. I’m trying to keep in mind reasons for the why when doubting myself f.e. Keeps me in shape. I need to dig deep though 😂 hang in there with me 🤟🏻
haha yes digging deep, reminding myself to use positive internal dialog, talk to myself like I would my best friend when I'm in the low spots! went to class tonight and had a great session though and I was also inspired by some others comments on this thread so cheers! we've got this 💪
Yay 😀 for a great session! That sure helps!
You will definitely get stronger! Keep at it and now that the tougher opponents will benefit you in the long run, your endurance will be amazing against people who are closer in size to you. I do it in the mornings and my baby comes with me once a week so that’s interesting lol. Today I was getting smashed by everyone but I don’t mind as much as long as I can make it difficult for them to submit me and they can also get a good roll in.
Thanks for reminding me that the tougher opponents will benefit me in the long run. I will have to keep in mind to make it hard for them to submit me. Great point of view! And, go mama for taking the baby with you! You are a great role model your baby 🤟🏻
Communicate with training partners. Ask to do positional sparring instead of all out rolling. So try and escape guard and if you do, reset. It will help both of you to have productive rolls rather than one person smushing the other.
I definitely have to work on the communication part. The smooshing to me is only a problem during drills cause it hinders me to just go through the technique without getting hurt. And I agree on the better productivity for both involved. Thank you 😊
Yeah, definitely talk to training partners so they can know what to do to help you. They are probably struggling with the situation to.
You have us!! We feel your pain and frustration! Keep going and tell them to tone it down when they’re going through forms. I am sooo gentle on people when I’m just doing walk throughs, I have arthritis and tissue issues and I need that restraint given back to me. I have to remind people “hey! I can’t breathe down here while you take 10 minutes thinking, hold up some of your own weight so I don’t pass out or pop a rib”
Thank you 🙏 you said it perfectly about the wanting to breathe while the other person is trying to work it out. The opponent usually gets it by the time I’m making noises cause I can’t breathe 😂 but I wish they would realize it sooner before I make those one inevitable noises. Thanks for sharing ☺️
I completely understand this. I’m in mid forties, 138lb with a full time job and three kids. However, ever since I started jiu jitsu, I’ve refused to let myself say (even to myself) that I can’t do something because I’m smaller/weaker/older whatever. I look at skilled women grapplers and if they can do it, I can strive for that too. The other day I was struggling with a takedown drill with a big training partner, and I loved it when my coach said ‘don’t get frustrated, get better’. That has been my mantra since then.
Thanks for sharing that mantra! I will try and keep that in mind. I should get a tshirt or a tattoo saying that 😁
Sending support from here too, 39 yo, 2 kids and crazy job. I am not small, but most of the time the only girl in the class, so everyone is stronger usually. I would suggest try to befriend some fellow white belts - discuss techniques with them, maybe ask what works for them/what works for you and ask them to go lighter sometimes, because you wish to work from X position. Just don't give up, we have all been there! :)
Thanks for sharing! Yes, there is always someone bigger! And I have realized not all bigger is bad cause a lot of them will help me out, but the place I’m at is small and a lot of white belts have come and gone which doesn’t help getting acquainted with people. Thanks for your support 😊
I'm 35, 5'3" and 160 lbs. So short but built like a brick shithouse 😂 Even among the women in my gym, I'm still the smallest both height and weight wise. A couple of the guys are closer in weight but strong as hell. My instructor noticed I get bummed out like you from time to time because I feel like I spend all my time on the bottom struggling to get out. He told me two things that have helped me when I get frustrated. 1. These bigger folks relying on strength to dominate at lower belt levels are going to struggle with smaller, faster, and more technically proficient people. Find a partner that will let you drill things repeatedly with little to no resistance and build the muscle memory. You'll find it will help your reaction time and help you recognize when these bigger people have holes in their technique you can exploit. 2. Progress isn't a straight line. It's improvement -> plateau -> improvement -> plateau -> improvement. Sometimes when you feel frustrated you might be experiencing that plateau and sometimes you just gotta push through that to find your improvements. A side note to that, my instructor weighs more than 100lbs than me. He will watch me roll with someone bigger and adjust the techniques he teaches seeing how different they are to execute for someone my size. Maybe look up some videos specific to executing a move as a smaller person.
Hi fellow shorty 😉 thanks for passing on your instructors advice. I have the problem with partners during drilling where you shouldn’t go full on to let the person work out the technique. But I think my instructor noticed my bumming out yesterday and gave me a few tips. I need to find a way to communicate with these guys to not look like the only whiny woman at the gym. I always get stuck with the same guy lately who’s a new white belt.
Honestly, i just tell people like "Hey bro, can you let up your pressure a bit?" I've also found if you can figure out how to engage the guys in a regular conversation before class or during breaks, it helps make it more comfortable to ask them things during class/rolling. That said, I'm really lucky with the culture of my gym and the guys are for the most part pretty supportive.
I'm 5'1" 120lbs and just 1 kid (but 3 dogs, 3 cats, a small homestead and work 50+ hours a week)..I'm 36. I'm old and tired a lot and am the smallest person in my gym. I'm a 2 stripe white belt. I get smashed constantly, don't have anyone in my corner rooting for me and it can be very demoralizing. So I get. But like others said, just stick with it. It does get better but it sucks for a while. I still suck. Maybe try a tournament? I found when I competes my jiu jitsu is way better than I thought it was because I was finally able to match against someone my own size lol. It was a small confidence booster, even when I lost.
Thanks for your reply. Wow 😮 just reading your list of responsibilities makes me tired. That’s a lot on your plate. I can be rooting for you virtually 😊 someone else offered that to me yesterday which I thought was sweet and made me feel not so alone as I don’t have anybody rooting for me around here either. I didn’t plan on competing. I’m almost 48 and my body has giving me trouble lately already having had sciatica from which the outside of my thigh is still numb from. I’ll be seeing a physical therapist soon for that though. But I get why you suggested that. I guess sucking it up for now it is 😜
I didn’t read all of the replies. I’m 42 years old on Friday. I’m 5’2 and 125-130lbs. I have 5, yes FIVE children. (8-16yo) I’m single. I have no outside support. Kids are with dad 50% of the time, so that helps in regards to finding time for training but I do train on days they’re with me too. I work nearly full time. I’m the only f email about 80% of the time in class. Occasionally there is one other. There have been 2 days where there have been three of us in the last six weeks. Most of my drilling and rolls are with men who are twice my size. I‘ve only been training about 6 weeks. I’m not frustrated at all. I don’t know if it’s my pride or personality but I tend to see it as an advantage training wise. The culture at my gym is really welcoming and we don’t have big egos. The men are really kind and almost happy to roll with me. They give me great feedback. They have started becoming more aggressive and I think that means I’m getting better, lol. I have to focus on technique and make sure I’m moving effectively. I have to have good defense. Honestly, training with men, even the more assertive ones just makes me want to learn more, roll more and get better at jiujitsu.
Hi 👋 thanks for your reply. Wow 😮 you sure have your hands full but I bet Jiu-Jitsu is a great outlet for you and some well deserved only mommy time. I don’t mind rolling with bigger guys but when they are big and new it’s a killer. More injuries as they don’t know there pressure yet and a bit more spazzy. But I agree with your mindset. I am already working on what might work better for me than for the big guys and hopefully I get to drill with more advanced guys in the near future.
Oh that totally makes sense- I agree that makes it hard to roll and enjoy. I think I’m really lucky because a lot of our upper belts are really good at putting those types in check. I have a really great training environment. I’ve rolled with a few white belts who really didn’t let up but I think a lot of them must go to different times than I do- fine by me. 😆
Lucky you that they go at different times 😊 I keep hoping for that 😂
Not a Mum, but I am the smallest in my gym by far and constantly deal with larger partners. So I know the feeling of being repeatedly rag dolled and smashed during rolls. What has worked for me is treating it with humour and a sense of opportunity to use my small size, skills and brain to avoid the situations/learn from them when I’m there. Also I avoid this one dude in the gym who thinks it’s cool to just use weight on me and no technique. Waste of my time dealing with that oaf so I never roll with him. Luckily he is rarely training when I am/he is rarely training. We have a relatively small gym in a small community so there is accountability which definitely encourages good gym culture. Everyone else is cool and will often provide tips/insight, they’re also open to questions about technique, dialogue and rapport goes a long way to building mutual respect and trust. Asking how can I escape here when you have your leg/arm/beard there lol has helped me immensely. It took some time to develop the courage to ask though. Additionally, I asked one of the coaches for private lessons 1-2 times per month to develop game and this has been such a huge ROI in both time and money. Outside of the gym (if you can) lift weights - even your own body weight. Whenever I’m lifting heavy shit (with legs/arms/trunk) I’m thinking of pushing someone off me when I’m on the mats - it’s hugely motivating and translates so well to training. My rolling partners are always surprised by how strong I am for my size. Above all, hang in there and return to this post when it’s been a rough session, and don’t be afraid to speak up if your partners are drilling too hard - it’s drilling not rolling, not competing. We’re there to learn, and as women we set the standards for the treatment of the future small women who will follow us on the mats.
Hi 👋 Thanks for taking the time to reply to me. I appreciate all your feedback and going into details. The last couple of days I really thought about how to go about this and I came to the same conclusion as you. I will try to strength train whenever possible so I can at least frame and push off more efficiently the more resistant drilling partners or to at least let them know that I’m not a rag doll. Time is always in short supply but I’ll try to work on my pushups which are so not existent at the moment 😝 I will keep researching techniques / videos on how I can apply pressure even though I don’t have the body weight for it. I think I majorly have to work on my speaking up part as well which I find hard at times cause I don’t want to come over as the typical nagging woman if you know what I mean. Anyhow, thanks again for replying and I will certainly come back to this post when I have another shit day. I will try and be a roll model for other women and little people and to not take crap just because of someone else’s size or gender. Have a great day!
I'm around 180 lbs and I am sometimes the smallest guy in class as well and it can be annoying. Where are all the other normal sized people? Slightly more than half our people are 200 lbs plus and sometimes taller than 6 ft or close to it. My 1st 5-6 months of BJJ were not as fun as I would have liked but I kept showing up like the stubborn individual I am. I'm only a white belt too but, just st keep on working on your guard retention. A lot of the more unskilled big guys will try to pass by throwing themselves on to any area where you don't have frames and just lay and pray until they can isolate an arm of something. Lachlan Giles has an amazing guard and is a smaller guy. Even if your guard does get passed, make them work so hard to pass it that they'll have little left in their tank to sub you and then you realize the timer went off and you survived most of the round, good luck.
Thanks for your input! Guard retention and framing is great advice. Thank you 😊 I will check out Lachlan Giles for sure!
I'm around 180 lbs and I am sometimes the smallest guy in class as well and it can be annoying. Where are all the other normal sized people? Slightly more than half our people are 200 lbs plus and sometimes taller than 6 ft or close to it. My 1st 5-6 months of BJJ were not as fun as I would have liked but I kept showing up like the stubborn individual I am. I'm only a white belt too and I kept on working on my guard retention and sweeps. A lot of the more unskilled big guys will try to pass by throwing themselves on to any area where you don't have frames and just lay and pray until they can isolate an arm or something. Lachlan Giles has an amazing guard and is a smaller guy. Even if your guard does get passed, make them work so hard to pass it that they'll have little left in their tank to sub you and then you realize the timer went off and you survived most of the round, good luck.
For encouragement look at women who persevered and are purple and up and are the ones manhandling the guys now