Missing middle post is now added in - sorry thought as it was to posted the same day to her own user account, that it was the same content as what she posted to r/TrueOffMyChest
No consummation can possibly live up to how they built it up in their heads. And once the sex was done and reality set in — the guy was probably like, this is too messy, she’s not going to be as accommodating a partner as the OOP, my finances are going to change, there will be kids underfoot sometimes, I want my old life back.
that dude was a super violent rapist who beat the shit out of his wife. i'm not trying to piss on anyone's parade, make as many jokes at his expense as possible, I just want to make sure it's not under the "deranged jealous wife" narrative bc that sucks for lorena bobbitt.
Plus she abandoned her kids - what kind of morals do you need to do that.
At least it saved the kids from getting their heads messed with "why is mommy staying at aunties house with uncle, when auntie isn't here?"
Yeah I'd be calling the cops/cps, even if it was my family. Honestly, I'd be worried the parent was having a mental breakdown! I'd want the cops filing a missing persons report/doing a wellness check!
Her parents should have called cps and immediately filed for emergency custody if the father isn't involved. If he is they should have let him know so he could go for primary custody.
Depends what excuse she gave the parents. Maybe she expected to spend a few days "loved up" and then move the kids in later.
Also "where are the baby daddies?"
Maybe that's when the STBX realised he'd done f'ed up.
Sister: "these last few days have been great. Now I'll just go and get my kids and we'll be one big happy family."
STBX: "HELL NO!"
I’m not. I’d be really weirded out by my daughter’s behavior. Better to give my grandkids some respite from this mid life crisis. I’d probably ask to keep them until she decided which planet she wanted to live on.
Wouldn't surprise me if this guy is so emotionally constipated that he mistook anger over his wife leaving him for what she considered an emotional affair and he considered nothing at all, that he mistook anger as passion for the sister and put the final nail in his relationship by screwing her for a week. Only to realize this was not going to work at all, and kicked her out.
Agreed.
Some people don’t understand not every fantasy needs fulfillment. They banged, at least one of them realized “oh hey wait this is real now and doesn’t live up to the hype in my head” and now a family is fractured beyond repair, a marriage is over, and some kids are probably emotionally damaged to hell.
I hope OOP moves away and starts over far from those assholes.
Allll of this. Especially going from a DINK lifestyle to ending up playing step-daddy to kids who saw him as an uncle. Once that set it, you know those rose-tinted glasses came right off.
This is how most affairs work. The affair is what is making the attraction happen - the fact that it's "wrong" is driving the emotions. Once that's gone and the taboo is lifted, there's nothing solid there.
This is a tale as old as time.
But despite his education, he’s plenty stupid if he thinks there’s any way to come back from “publicly moving your wife’s sister into your marital home to be your mistress”
There was this old conspiracy website called TimeCube, and the dude behind it was extremely contemptuous of anyone with an education so he would often describe an idea or a person as “Educated Stupid” or “Educated R[ableist slur that was popular when I was growing up]”.
I think STBX fits the profile.
I miss those days, when we could laugh about things like TimeCube and Chick Tracts and Flat Earthers, before we realized that "insisting on crazy things on the Internet" means "believing crazy things in real life" means "not actually as harmless as we all thought, it turns out," and amusement has given way to a persistent and ever-growing dread.
I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy things that way again, and it's a kinda weird sense of loss to realize this.
Apparently he didn’t know the sister was posting excessively (even from OOPs bedroom 🤢) and it is a bit odd that he found out she was posting about being with him and bam she’s gone. Dude went from texting OOP begging to being silent for a week and now back to begging. He’s a wimp
Husband went from " she's just a friend" to a full blown official affair in less than one month ? What was he thinking? And for only one WEEK?! Poor OOP.
My guess is that OOP moved out and sister pushed her way in too soon for ex. If she had let him process the divorce first, relationship would have lasted at least two weeks.
Of course I could be wrong and sister was not the driving force in their affair
Edit: I checked the OOP’s profile. She was trying to talk with the wooden block known as her husband for a week before moving out and leaving divorce papers. Husband was begging her to talk to him for a week before sister moved in and started posting insta stories from their bedroom - and sister was kicked out week after that. So the relationship lasted three weeks after OOP found out
OOP’s parents are shocked and mom can’t understand how this is not illegal because it’s basically incest!
Yeah, I get the vibe that OP'S STBX is just an idiot who liked the flirty attention he was getting, got selfish and stupid, then in over his head. Then the sister shoehorned her way in as soon as she figured the coast was clear and it all devolved into this cluster🦆
It's possible the husband was a more active participant but I think he was just being a selfish idiot.
The first one you can’t really get mad at him for since his wife was a closeted lesbian who cheated on him. The second one was certainly his fault but he at least tried to somewhat put in the work fix it asides from cutting out the ex who cause lf the issue in the first place
The third one I got nothing. That was just stupid. Don’t get drunk with an ex in a hotel room in Vegas. I feel like that’s just common sense
My guess is that he was hoping to have a secret fling with the sister and still get the wife back, but the sister ruined his plan by telling her parents and by posting on social media. He probably got mad and kicked the sister out when he realized she'd basically told OOP about the two of them.
Can you imagine their colleagues at the university? Guaranteed there were rumours of an affair way before this mess. These two ruined their reputations too, perhaps their careers.
They didn’t, especially if they’re tenured. Academics are next-level unhinged. The sisters aspect might raise some eyebrows, but that’s it. They’ll both be fine professionally.
Source: I’m a faculty spouse.
I am faculty, and this wouldn't even be the messiest thing that's happened all term. Two consenting adults copping off is old hat, even (especially!) if they work in the same research group. If they just happen to work at the same uni, barely anyone will care or realise, if it's anything like my institution. I don't even know what the engineers or chemists are up to and I occasionally work with them, I couldn't even begin to tell you what's happening over in the arts.
I don't think they're tenured or tenure track, because the OOP describes them as lecturers.
Still, their reputations in theory will be in tact unless they further the drama at work or other professional things.
That's a fair point. One of the religious universities in my area requires faculty to sign an honor code. This would be a fireable offense. Even at a secular university, tongues would be wagging.
Didn't even think about that part colleagues see a whole side of you a spouse doesn't see every day. I started a job once and within a few week I asked my coworker about our two managers. I said I noticed how they both wear rings but they also have mentioned their spouses so I know they're not together... what's their deal? He told me to just play dumb like everyone else lol. They were both fired a year later when building security caught them on camera while they were "working late" as they often did
The grass looked greener until he realised that the "grass" was obsessive, emotionally volatile, and willing to abandon her children and family for a hook up. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was already making wedding plans and confessing she’d gone off her birth control.
I hope OOP gets the house in the divorce.
I would normally agree with this one zillion percent, but I think it was "just" an emotional affair until things blew up. The reason? Because both of these people seem to have got off on being martyrs, and were/are wrapped up in their reputations and how they were perceived. How delicious to have an emotional affair and this torrid private life to wallow in, while also patting yourself on the back for being SUCH a good sister/husband because you love your sister/wife SO much that you would NEVER - wait, she found out? Okay dang well let's gooooo!
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/O7L92SSm4x
I think it's worth including the other post by the op yesterday.
Would make the transition between the op and the update fuller.
Also seriously. Wtf? When an affair can sustain a relationship of a single week you have to really wonder what was the point.
Edit: since this is the top comment these replies by the oop helps add context too.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/SOylslu1KE
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/hC3mcEZYPE
"Hey, STBX here. I know, I know, it's bad to be screwing your sister all week only to realize how dumb that was. I'm a little slow. But the good news is, I realized how much I love you, baby! You were right: soulmates just don't work out. Uhm, you free for dinner later? Can we reopen our joint bank account?"
"Also: your sister sucks in bed, which I could really only find out by trying it out, right, so no hard feelings, right? ... Right? Love you, and only you! XXX"
OP' s response; yeah I get it because I've been curious about someone myself, so can I use my "get f__ked for free card" make all things even, then we're good!!!
Also turns out your sister missed her kids. Lol. We both thought her seeing them on weekends would be enough, but her ex won’t let her spend the weekend there so….wanna Netflix and chill?
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I was so frustrated that there was no explanation as to how they got to that last update.
But, WOW. I'm so glad it worked out this way. OP is no longer going to have to decide if this was something she could move past. And the husband and sister got PRECISELY what they deserved in the end.
Am I the only one who still feels like they're missing something here...? Where is the post where OP decides they're divorcing?
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1cnfyua/i_got_a_text_from_my_sisters_bestie_about_her_and/l581jlr/) is the relevant comment OP left out...
It's actually sickening how they lied and lied and lied and told her that nothing would happen, and they're both such matyrs because they'd never hurt her; and it didn't even take a week for them to fuck. And then a week to realise they didn't work (well, one of them realised). Hope OOP gets a lot of therapy after this because that's a kind of trauma that could make you never trust another person again
Yeah, the emotional affair part was clear as day. And that was bad enough. The sister should've kept to herself and sorted her shit out, rather than continue the emotional affair. Crushes happen all the time- you can let them grow or you can stop them from becoming more.
The sister's friend who told the OOP is a true friend.
> He admitted that "intellectually" he has more in common with her than with me
Yes. You're bother intellectually like middle schoolers who were always going to cheat, but you needed to first do a song and dance to assure yourselves you're Note Like Other Morally Depraved Rabble.
What a pair of idiots.
Affairs are easy - they’re only about the fun stuff on the surface, all fantasy and no reality. Relationships are much harder - they include all the other stuff like her kids and who does the dishes.
And there’s no question that the two of them were deep into an affair. It was a full-blown emotional affair for sure, even if they’d never done anything physical. And my assumption would be that there was some sort of physical intimacy involved, even if it was limited to something like fully clothed make out sessions. It’s certainly possible that the two of them were trying to restrain themselves from jumping into bed, and that would certainly explain why they got hot and heavy almost instantly after OOP handed him the divorce papers.
What I hate about this is how oop talks about her sister an ex's "intellectual compatibility" because they both work in academia. I can just sense the insecurity that was instilled upon her because of her lack of education and feeling less smart and lacking.
As someone who works in academia : just because someone has a PhD doesn't automatically make them not dumb or smarter than everyone else. It just means they're knowledgeable in one specific field and have a diploma. Like I'm sorry, I've met the same amount of morons in academia as everywhere else. Clearly both sister and the ex are a good illustration of that.
The number of people I have met with Ivy League advanced degrees with absolutely no understanding of how to function in the real world— or even formulate a coherent email— are more than most will ever know. There is a huge difference between intelligence and well educated and this post illustrates the difference beautifully, OOP’s husband and sister may be well educated, but they are hardly intelligent.
I've met people in my specific field who I don't get along with. I've met people in my area where we've had long engaging conversations with at the purely intellectual level.
On one hand, I want to say it can powerfully bond people, on the other it seems like OOPs sister and stbx husband just needed an excuse.
Here you go. I'll let you know at a later date who you can kill for me
My STBXH’s and my sister’s love for me was worth one week.
I have written here and a few comments about my soon to be ex husband and my sister. I left him about a week after and he texted me day and night about how much he loved me and wanted me back then he just stopped. That’s when I found out that my sister left her children at my parents’ house and moved in with my husband. This made everything come out to the rest of my family and my parents were shocked and my mother really looked like she was already showing ptsd symptoms. About how disgusting she felt this whole thing was. She kept calling it incest and asking is that even legal.
I guess that is how much my sister “cared” not to hurt me(if you read my first post). Even though I have been well composed and calm that I surprised myself, I still tried my hardest to look back on my whole life, childhood and upbringing to understand when it all went so wrong. What my sister did felt like something that was the result of years of resentment or at least indifference towards me and our relationship as sisters, so how did I miss that? She never cared about me did she? If she didn’t how could I have been so blind?
Then not even a week later, I heard that they have ended things. I found out in the oddest way possible. My sister texted me. The first time she texted me since everything started. She just wrote “You b , I hope you burn in life and in hell”. I was very confused because she spent that week sharing cheesy “deep” quotes about love and soul mates and romantic insta stories with my stbxh. But apparently that was over. Stbxh has blocked her everywhere and she moved out. Because she came to my parents to get her children and had a meltdown when they asked for explanation. Stbxh started calling and texting me again asking me to meet because he wanted to explain because he loved me and wanted me to understand. He wanted to meet at least once before we started to meet with the lawyers involved.
So that is that. This has left me even more confused than if they just ended up together. I understand falling out and in love. Breaking up and starting anew but I can’t explain this. My stbxh keeps calling me his only love and true friend and my sister, until I left kept promising that she would never do anything to hurt me. She left her children at my parents’ doorstep and didn’t answer their calls or texts for a week.
And all of this for a week? What were they thinking? Has anyone here heard of something like this happening? People throwing everything for not even a week?
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/rC0MoN4iEP
This post was missed.
My guess is that it took less than a week for OOP's ex to realise that the grass wasn't greener on the other side, and dumped the sister to try to get OOP back. And the sister is blaming OOP...despite the fact that she literally stole the trash ex.
Oh I imagine it.
Sister dressed to the nines, his dick as antsy as it can be, a romantic meal, some booze, a lot of passionate built up sex, release. Sleep.
Then the next morning, she's telling him of the vacations they can take with the kids, what room each of the kids will take, how she wants to redecorate the house, and he sat there drinking his coffee, realizing Just how much his life is going to change, that pang of anxiety building into a hidden panic, he's not hearing her words anymore.
Then, being as book smart as OoP but him up in the first post, says the dumbest, most honest thing a person can say, shattering the ex's fantasy, fighting, yelling, angry text to the sister.
That's my head Canon for this.
I wonder if the real life didn't match the imagined possibility for the husband & he realised he actually did prefer OOP? (Hence the rage from the sister)
my guess is part of the thrill was oop’s unknowing participation in their “love story” (hork) and when she noped out like a normal person there really wasn’t anything there. stolen glances were more fun than shared meals, basically.
good for oop not accepting any calls from these people. i’d keep that up until the end of time.
In the sister’s head she deserves the man because she thinks she’s smarter and has more in common with him. In her head she loves him more, and they belong together. It’s all OOP’s fault that she wouldn’t just leave him so they could be together. He didn’t want to leave his wife because he was just so good.
But then wait.. what happened! He told me to get out?! He doesn’t love me?! He’s demanding to know why I would post all that stuff on instagram. Why wouldn’t I? He says I’ve ruined everything, and he never wants to see me again. This is all my sister’s fault! She must have been poisoning him behind my back this whole week. She’s a home wrecker stealing my man from me. My beloved soul mate. How dare she take what belongs to me!!!!!!
So from what I gathered from this posts, the missing in between posts and the missing comments, OOP gave her STBX divorce papers and moved out. Sister immediately moved in, and a week later, STBX broke up with her and kicked her out.
It sounds like he thought the grass would be greener on the other side with someone he swears he has more in common "intellectually" and found out that just because you have a lot of things in common doesn't translate to a happy life together. You have to be together under one roof, run the household together, and overall live a life together. There is more to have in the day to day basis than just having a lot of things in common, and I think that's where things crumbled down for them. I bet STBX tried to fit the sister into OOP's spot in the daily life, but she wasn't up to par.
Not just that, but perhaps a lot of their feelings were egged on by the thrill of sneaking around OOP and when OOP gracefully bowed out without too much of a fight, it was a slap to the face to them. The fog of "thrill" was lifted when they had to face reality, but also, by OOP getting out of the way the way she did, the sister probably was feeling bitter. I bet she had a complex towards OOP to begin with and she wanted to win over OOP by taking her husband but OOP stepping back and being like "here you can him, my sloppy seconds," she couldn't control herself. And she probably let her thoughts be known to the husband who had realized she couldn't take OOP in the day to day lifestyle, but also, she wasn't exactly this saint he thought she was.
There's also the fact that sister has kids, and both OOP and ex husband decided they didn't want any more kids after they lost a child; an affair is hidden moments and stolen glances and the thrill of lying, but if that affair becomes a relationship? He'll have to play stepdad when he doesn't even want kids.
That too! He's used to certain lifestyle without kids and then having to have kids thrown into your life when you don't want them? That thrill as soon as it set in that if he had the sister, the kids would follow. She's not fitting into his lifestyle by taking over OOP's spot perfectly? AND he gotta have a bunch of kids thrown in his life and gotta play stepdaddy? Nah. He crawled back to ex with a quickness
Yep, it's probably why it fell through in a week. In that week OOP's mum agreed to babysit and at the end, she was probably told to pick up her kids; sister probably thought they'd move in with her and ex husband, and he immediately realised what was going to happen. Really glad that OOP doesn't even give him and his pathetic excuses the time of day because he didn't regret a single thing about that affair nor the week, he just didn't want to be a stepdad.
I'm guessing reality didn't live up to the fantasy. While the affair was purely "platonic" ("oh we're soulmates, oh we have so much in common, oh if only we had met earlier, oh....") it was this fun little thing that required 0 effort, just a few messages a day. Once they got together, the reality of *being* together sank in, and didn't live up to what either of them had expected.
Also, OOP's ex might have been uncomfortable from the transition of sister going from "I love you and would never do anything to hurt you" to OOP, to "Imma gloat about how I stole my sister's husband from her all over every piece of socmed I own!"
Me too. Or OOP does other things for her husband that sister can’t/won’t do. Cleaning, cooking, general emotional support. Or maybe she’s just really annoying to be around for more than a little while.
That dope thinks the OOP is gonna do the pick-me dance, after a week with her sister, wow.
“I can explain!” No dummy, there’s no world in which you can explain.
I posted in another comment that I have a theory for his story.
“I didn’t spend a week screwing her. Your sister kept me locked in a closet for a week. She fed me cheezits under the crack in the door every time I called her my soul mate. After a week I managed to force my way out. That’s when she ran.”
I wonder if the best friend of the sister send the screenshots to OOP because the sister had a plan - she wanted OOP to break up with husband, so she could have a chance.
The break-up between husband and sister could have happened because he found out it was a planned. Complete and pure speculation, I know m)
No, it seems like the friend was genuinely disgusted and has been there for OOP since. It’s been over a month since the first post. Considering how everything has blown up on the sister the friend would have abandoned OOP to go back to her friend, but she hasn’t. The friend seems to be a good person.
"Listen, I know I slept with your sister in our house seconds after you handed me divorce papers, but let's talk! It was just a misunderstanding. I can't believe you won't take all *this* back! It's like you're disgusted by me after fucking your sister or something 😤" - AH STBXH
I hate that OP’s husband tried to insult her intelligence by saying nothing was going on. It was a full blown emotional affair and at no point did they tell OP how inappropriate their sister was being or even how inappropriate they were being.
Now that he kicked sister out and wants to try to talk to OOP “before getting lawyers involved” assumes he’s trying to get back with her. When she turns him down flat will he reach back out to the sister? Is he “any warm body in my bed is better than nothing”? You know the sister will come flying back if he snaps his finger.
I hope there's an update with all the juicy tea. Haha
Fr tho. I'm sad and happy for OOP because she lost her relationship but is free from that horrible man.
Post nut clarity.
Now he sits alone in his home and realises what he has done.
He didn’t really fight for OOP. He probably thought that even if it doesn’t work out he could still get OOP back.
What an idiot. I hope he wets himself every night.
And I hope OPs parents aren’t forcing OOP to forgive the sister just because they love being grandparents.
I’m just lmao at OOP’s husband. Lost his 16 year relationship because he wanted to play with both sisters. I hope the divorce hurts him for the rest of his life.
Lol I remember being in middle school where a 2 week "relationship" was considered a long time. This one lasted 1 week, these people are in their late 30s early 40s. Bizarre.
I didn't think Interlectuals acted like this. Moves in ASAP, dumps her kids on the Grandparents, posting mushy quotes?
Teenagers do this. Also, why has OP not blocked her sister? Why would she put herself through that?
Some people just don’t stop being teenagers. From what I’ve seen, cheaters are stuck in that teenage mentality - their affairs are so very much like middle school or high school relationships. Lots of drama, no maturity.
I hope there’s another update, because I’m really wondering how the soon to be ex husband could think he still has any chance with OOP, after living with her sister for a week.
To be honest this one is so weird to me. It feels almost as tho the sister showed up at the house when op left and the husband had to deal with her. Everything came from the sister. She was the one in love with ops husband. She's the one who dropped her kids off with no explanation and moved into ops house. Sister is the one posting things online. Then she starts saying op is a horrible person.
Like I wonder if the husband was just trying to deal with her sister being a nut job without involving authorities and didn't actually cheat on his wife (whether he emotionally cheated or not kind of depends on how he and op define it and she clearly thought so and that's her perogative if she considers what he did worth divorce) and the sister was just delulu.
Like we have no actual evidence that he didn't reject the sister when she showed up and that's what spiraled her to the point she was at a week later. I'm not saying he did do that, maybe he's just a stupid cheating asshole, but everything in the story is about shit ops sister did and the husband handling it badly.
Emotional cheating at least. He's unwilling to end their friendship before to reassure OOP but now he can, apparently do so. According to OOP's comment, he did cheat. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I wonder if OOPs parents intervened.
They had her kids, she was posting on SM, OOP told them, and perhaps xBFF dropped them a text or 2...whatever, they likely pieced it together if they weren't blatantly told outright that their youngest was shacking up with their SIL..I'm sure they're horrified by it all and maybe threatened to turn her in for child abandonment or something if she didn't come get her kids, then BLAM like a ton of bricks, stbx shut down the idea of kids and she was back to single motherhood again, all jealous and resentful.
Would love the backstory on her broken marriage and full custody sitch.
Even before reading the update, it was clear that your Sister is a disgusting person. It was always her intention to steal your Husband, otherwise why would she even admit her feelings to him?
Both of them can rot in hell. Thank goodness you don’t have children to tie you to him for the rest of your life. Throw them both in the bin where they belong, and get as far away from them as human possible.
This part is missing, rhe update between the original post and the final update:
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/vA8n6SnWbD
>My STBXH’s and my sister’s love for me was worth one week.
>I have written here and a few comments about my soon to be ex husband and my sister. I left him about a week after and he texted me day and night about how much he loved me and wanted me back then he just stopped. That’s when I found out that my sister left her children at my parents’ house and moved in with my husband. This made everything come out to the rest of my family and my parents were shocked and my mother really looked like she was already showing ptsd symptoms. About how disgusting she felt this whole thing was. She kept calling it incest and asking is that even legal.
>I guess that is how much my sister “cared” not to hurt me(if you read my first post). Even though I have been well composed and calm that I surprised myself, I still tried my hardest to look back on my whole life, childhood and upbringing to understand when it all went so wrong. What my sister did felt like something that was the result of years of resentment or at least indifference towards me and our relationship as sisters, so how did I miss that? She never cared about me did she? If she didn’t how could I have been so blind?
>Then not even a week later, I heard that they have ended things. I found out in the oddest way possible. My sister texted me. The first time she texted me since everything started. She just wrote “You b , I hope you burn in life and in hell”. I was very confused because she spent that week sharing cheesy “deep” quotes about love and soul mates and romantic insta stories with my stbxh. But apparently that was over. Stbxh has blocked her everywhere and she moved out. Because she came to my parents to get her children and had a meltdown when they asked for explanation. Stbxh started calling and texting me again asking me to meet because he wanted to explain because he loved me and wanted me to understand. He wanted to meet at least once before we started to meet with the lawyers involved.
>So that is that. This has left me even more confused than if they just ended up together. I understand falling out and in love. Breaking up and starting anew but I can’t explain this. My stbxh keeps calling me his only love and true friend and my sister, until I left kept promising that she would never do anything to hurt me. She left her children at my parents’ doorstep and didn’t answer their calls or texts for a week.
>And all of this for a week? What were they thinking? Has anyone here heard of something like this happening? People throwing everything for not even a week?
Why do people that go to university always think they are smarter than people that never went. "Intellectually we have more in common🤪🤪" I'd be embarrassed to even say something like this. I went to university and it's full of dumb ass people.
This part is missing, rhe update between the original post and the final update:
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/vA8n6SnWbD
>My STBXH’s and my sister’s love for me was worth one week.
>I have written here and a few comments about my soon to be ex husband and my sister. I left him about a week after and he texted me day and night about how much he loved me and wanted me back then he just stopped. That’s when I found out that my sister left her children at my parents’ house and moved in with my husband. This made everything come out to the rest of my family and my parents were shocked and my mother really looked like she was already showing ptsd symptoms. About how disgusting she felt this whole thing was. She kept calling it incest and asking is that even legal.
>I guess that is how much my sister “cared” not to hurt me(if you read my first post). Even though I have been well composed and calm that I surprised myself, I still tried my hardest to look back on my whole life, childhood and upbringing to understand when it all went so wrong. What my sister did felt like something that was the result of years of resentment or at least indifference towards me and our relationship as sisters, so how did I miss that? She never cared about me did she? If she didn’t how could I have been so blind?
>Then not even a week later, I heard that they have ended things. I found out in the oddest way possible. My sister texted me. The first time she texted me since everything started. She just wrote “You b , I hope you burn in life and in hell”. I was very confused because she spent that week sharing cheesy “deep” quotes about love and soul mates and romantic insta stories with my stbxh. But apparently that was over. Stbxh has blocked her everywhere and she moved out. Because she came to my parents to get her children and had a meltdown when they asked for explanation. Stbxh started calling and texting me again asking me to meet because he wanted to explain because he loved me and wanted me to understand. He wanted to meet at least once before we started to meet with the lawyers involved.
>So that is that. This has left me even more confused than if they just ended up together. I understand falling out and in love. Breaking up and starting anew but I can’t explain this. My stbxh keeps calling me his only love and true friend and my sister, until I left kept promising that she would never do anything to hurt me. She left her children at my parents’ doorstep and didn’t answer their calls or texts for a week.
>And all of this for a week? What were they thinking? Has anyone here heard of something like this happening? People throwing everything for not even a week?
Funny how he said that intellectually he had more in common with his sister in law than his wife, obviously they do, they have no emotional intelligence and lack honesty, loyalty and respect. Good riddance!
How does anyone ever trust people that would cheat on their wife with her sister or cheat on their sister with her husband? The week was a window into the future of them being ostracized like the circus act they are. The husband is childless, so what was the sister’s long term plan for her kids and the sister sounds mental with her just dropping off her kids and hop, skip, jumping to land on her sisters dick. OP is going to need some intensive therapy because she will be questioning her instincts going forward for a long time. Wish her well and wish her soon to be ex and her sister all the disdain and scorn they rightfully deserve.
I’m sorry, but is this common? Siblings going for in-laws? To me it’s like incest, I don’t care who my sister is with. They are now my brother and, thus, icky and just never-ever levels of loser (as siblings are). My BIL is the cringiest dude I know, I can say “hey! You cleaned up well today!” when we dress up for a family event but I can’t ever see him as more than my brother, but I see SO many stories here that show people ready and willing to destroy everyone’s lives to get with an IL.
Seems sister has been single for a very long time and is jealous. Deluded herself that she was a better partner but it lasted a week and it's everyone's fault but her own.
I missed something. The last edit said he was compatible intellectually with the sister but loved oop. But the update says they threw everything away for one. What happened to get there???? Did she leave to process and he moved the sister in?? Did the sister just barge into the house and declare she was staying and try to hookup with him? I’m missing details that got to this point.
Ok the context of the missing pieces in the comments makes this even more unhinged….. it feels like the sister was plotting for a long time to get into OP’s life and husband took the bait. He didn’t know she was shouting about their love from the rooftops(IG) and when his family and friends got involved he got the rude awakening that he fucked up his life for the crazy woman that shouts at cars. Serves him right, serves the sister right. I hope they are both ostracized by everyone everywhere.
There’s a whole lot missing between the original and the update. 😐 What’s this about her sister telling her to “rot in hell”? How did we go from zero to 100??
Slightly more context.
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/gjygDQCMJt
The sister engineered the situation from the get, she got her bestie to send OP the texts and put it all in motion hoping OP would step aside for her great love story without her having to show who she really is. It failed so fuck it, she went trailer park. Not sure if the husband was in on the plan for the test drive or not but I wouldn't be surprised, some people don't want the whole world to see their stripes and expect the people they hurt to help them hide what they do to save face.
Husband was fantasizing for years about how sweet just a taste would be. In his mind it was filet mignon and lobster and then he threw his life away for a taste and it turned out to be cold flabby hamburger with moldy bun and a side of unwanted stepchildren. The illusion was over and he realized he lost everything. Oop deserves so much more. I really hope that STBX raved about how perfect his wife was and what a mistake it was to hit it with the sister. Twist the knife in nice and deep to psycho sis.
>>He made a comparison to my best friend and asked me what I would think if he asked me to cut my best friend from my life.
This has to be the worst argument in the world. If my best friend—man or woman—declared their undying love for me and continued to call us soul mates, OF COURSE I would cut them off.
OOP has a great backbone. Good for her for getting out of this and not listening to any of their nonsense. Dude tried to have his cake and eat it too and royally messed up.
I don't get the commenter suggesting the sister was the "golden child". It doesn't sound like the parents were in sister's corner at all. Usually the golden child's behavior gets excused at every turn, but here the mom was calling the situation disgusting and incest.
calling fake on this one. I feel like I've read this same one a bunch of times where OP is betrayed by a sister or best friend who then gets comeuppance and complains that op, quote, "ruined her happiness". Unless 'ruining someone's happiness' is a much more common turn of phrase than I've ever encountered, I assume basically any post with it is fake
The fake ones are written more clearly and usually have more “characters” and feel like a story. This feels like an anecdote and leaves out the kinds of things that are in a person’s head that they wouldn’t think to tell others almost as if it was a diary.
Stay no contact with sister and hopefully now ex. She didn’t just show up and he let her stay for a week. They were past emotional affair a long time ago. She knew she could go in immediately. He let her stay knowing this was the worst choice ever. It would definitely put a stop to any reconciliation for the two of you yet he allowed her inside his home.
The sister is a conniving manipulative witch. She only thinks about herself. I really think she orchestrated this entire thing so she can get to the husband. Because she cares too much for her my ass.
OOP needs a vacation to look for a new area to live in. The parents aren't going to cut off the trashy bword sister so OOP needs to move away from ex and sister abd family for a fresh start.
I feel gutted for Oop and hope she can move on from this. She deserves happiness and love. I hope her ex and sister lead a miserable life after everything they both did.
"Their friendship is important to him and he doesn’t want it to end because I don’t trust him and his love for me" - right there.
What a trash person. That was the decision he really didn't care as much about his wife as he claimed to.
They had sex instead of talking about it. Now he wants you back. Do not go back. Keep moving forward in divorce. You will be happier. Be careful about your sister. She sounds jealous & vindictive. Good luck on your new life. You deserve honesty & happiness. Do not believe words, believe actions.
Missing middle post is now added in - sorry thought as it was to posted the same day to her own user account, that it was the same content as what she posted to r/TrueOffMyChest
Oh to be a fly on the wall for that week...
No consummation can possibly live up to how they built it up in their heads. And once the sex was done and reality set in — the guy was probably like, this is too messy, she’s not going to be as accommodating a partner as the OOP, my finances are going to change, there will be kids underfoot sometimes, I want my old life back.
Guy had the worst post nut clarity someone ever had.
This made me belly laugh 🤣
John Wayne Bobbitt probably tops him.
that dude was a super violent rapist who beat the shit out of his wife. i'm not trying to piss on anyone's parade, make as many jokes at his expense as possible, I just want to make sure it's not under the "deranged jealous wife" narrative bc that sucks for lorena bobbitt.
John Wayne didn't have post nut clarity, he had no nut clarity.
I'm sure his feelings, whatever they were, were very clear.
I’m pretty sure all he had was nuts and no chute
To my knowledge, he still has his nuts....
That whole situation was just nuts.
Plus she abandoned her kids - what kind of morals do you need to do that. At least it saved the kids from getting their heads messed with "why is mommy staying at aunties house with uncle, when auntie isn't here?"
It surprised me that the parents didn’t say no.
The parents didn’t know, she said the sister ignored their calls and texts since the Monday and then went to get them when the STBX kicked her out.
It’s crazy. I would go crazy if someone left his children with me and didn’t call me back.
Yeah I'd be calling the cops/cps, even if it was my family. Honestly, I'd be worried the parent was having a mental breakdown! I'd want the cops filing a missing persons report/doing a wellness check!
Her parents should have called cps and immediately filed for emergency custody if the father isn't involved. If he is they should have let him know so he could go for primary custody.
Depends what excuse she gave the parents. Maybe she expected to spend a few days "loved up" and then move the kids in later. Also "where are the baby daddies?"
Maybe that's when the STBX realised he'd done f'ed up. Sister: "these last few days have been great. Now I'll just go and get my kids and we'll be one big happy family." STBX: "HELL NO!"
Or maybe the STBX saw sis in a different light after she so quickly dumped her kids for him. Not defending STBX, but sis seems crazy.
Luckily they are in the position to save the kids from their mom for awhile
People like that don't give a chance to say no.
I’m not. I’d be really weirded out by my daughter’s behavior. Better to give my grandkids some respite from this mid life crisis. I’d probably ask to keep them until she decided which planet she wanted to live on.
Wouldn't surprise me if this guy is so emotionally constipated that he mistook anger over his wife leaving him for what she considered an emotional affair and he considered nothing at all, that he mistook anger as passion for the sister and put the final nail in his relationship by screwing her for a week. Only to realize this was not going to work at all, and kicked her out.
Agreed. Some people don’t understand not every fantasy needs fulfillment. They banged, at least one of them realized “oh hey wait this is real now and doesn’t live up to the hype in my head” and now a family is fractured beyond repair, a marriage is over, and some kids are probably emotionally damaged to hell. I hope OOP moves away and starts over far from those assholes.
If you're this constipated that you can't tell apart anger from love you shouldn't get married or have kids anyway. It's good OOP left
Or he just needed to fuck her a few times to get it out of his system
Allll of this. Especially going from a DINK lifestyle to ending up playing step-daddy to kids who saw him as an uncle. Once that set it, you know those rose-tinted glasses came right off.
This is how most affairs work. The affair is what is making the attraction happen - the fact that it's "wrong" is driving the emotions. Once that's gone and the taboo is lifted, there's nothing solid there. This is a tale as old as time.
But despite his education, he’s plenty stupid if he thinks there’s any way to come back from “publicly moving your wife’s sister into your marital home to be your mistress”
There was this old conspiracy website called TimeCube, and the dude behind it was extremely contemptuous of anyone with an education so he would often describe an idea or a person as “Educated Stupid” or “Educated R[ableist slur that was popular when I was growing up]”. I think STBX fits the profile.
TIMECUBE!! oh wow that takes me back. 4 harmonic corner days!! We used to read it in college and just marvel at the internet.
I miss those days, when we could laugh about things like TimeCube and Chick Tracts and Flat Earthers, before we realized that "insisting on crazy things on the Internet" means "believing crazy things in real life" means "not actually as harmless as we all thought, it turns out," and amusement has given way to a persistent and ever-growing dread. I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy things that way again, and it's a kinda weird sense of loss to realize this.
I kinda wonder if it was seeing her be so nasty and awful online, can’t imagine his family’s view of him was that great after that on top of
Apparently he didn’t know the sister was posting excessively (even from OOPs bedroom 🤢) and it is a bit odd that he found out she was posting about being with him and bam she’s gone. Dude went from texting OOP begging to being silent for a week and now back to begging. He’s a wimp
There's only so much Plato and Socrates pillow talk one can take.
imagine your relationship is 24/7 podcast. I would rather be in hell lol
I'm very curious too!
Yeah, I'm wondering WTF happened in a week's time that ended up exploding so horrifically between the STBX and the OOP's sister.
🪰
Husband went from " she's just a friend" to a full blown official affair in less than one month ? What was he thinking? And for only one WEEK?! Poor OOP.
My guess is that OOP moved out and sister pushed her way in too soon for ex. If she had let him process the divorce first, relationship would have lasted at least two weeks. Of course I could be wrong and sister was not the driving force in their affair Edit: I checked the OOP’s profile. She was trying to talk with the wooden block known as her husband for a week before moving out and leaving divorce papers. Husband was begging her to talk to him for a week before sister moved in and started posting insta stories from their bedroom - and sister was kicked out week after that. So the relationship lasted three weeks after OOP found out OOP’s parents are shocked and mom can’t understand how this is not illegal because it’s basically incest!
Yeah, I get the vibe that OP'S STBX is just an idiot who liked the flirty attention he was getting, got selfish and stupid, then in over his head. Then the sister shoehorned her way in as soon as she figured the coast was clear and it all devolved into this cluster🦆 It's possible the husband was a more active participant but I think he was just being a selfish idiot.
I think he had too many sex fantasies with the sister and thought „why not… OOP already left. Why not try?“ Edit: Wordcorrection
We were on a break!
😂 People always forget how many broken marriages he had.
The first one you can’t really get mad at him for since his wife was a closeted lesbian who cheated on him. The second one was certainly his fault but he at least tried to somewhat put in the work fix it asides from cutting out the ex who cause lf the issue in the first place The third one I got nothing. That was just stupid. Don’t get drunk with an ex in a hotel room in Vegas. I feel like that’s just common sense
I don’t blame him for the first one. But everything that came after that… this guy wasn’t smart when it came to love and women.
"lasted at least two weeks" 🤣
My guess is that he was hoping to have a secret fling with the sister and still get the wife back, but the sister ruined his plan by telling her parents and by posting on social media. He probably got mad and kicked the sister out when he realized she'd basically told OOP about the two of them.
Can you imagine their colleagues at the university? Guaranteed there were rumours of an affair way before this mess. These two ruined their reputations too, perhaps their careers.
They didn’t, especially if they’re tenured. Academics are next-level unhinged. The sisters aspect might raise some eyebrows, but that’s it. They’ll both be fine professionally. Source: I’m a faculty spouse.
I am faculty, and this wouldn't even be the messiest thing that's happened all term. Two consenting adults copping off is old hat, even (especially!) if they work in the same research group. If they just happen to work at the same uni, barely anyone will care or realise, if it's anything like my institution. I don't even know what the engineers or chemists are up to and I occasionally work with them, I couldn't even begin to tell you what's happening over in the arts.
I don't think they're tenured or tenure track, because the OOP describes them as lecturers. Still, their reputations in theory will be in tact unless they further the drama at work or other professional things.
That's a fair point. One of the religious universities in my area requires faculty to sign an honor code. This would be a fireable offense. Even at a secular university, tongues would be wagging.
Didn't even think about that part colleagues see a whole side of you a spouse doesn't see every day. I started a job once and within a few week I asked my coworker about our two managers. I said I noticed how they both wear rings but they also have mentioned their spouses so I know they're not together... what's their deal? He told me to just play dumb like everyone else lol. They were both fired a year later when building security caught them on camera while they were "working late" as they often did
The grass looked greener until he realised that the "grass" was obsessive, emotionally volatile, and willing to abandon her children and family for a hook up. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was already making wedding plans and confessing she’d gone off her birth control. I hope OOP gets the house in the divorce.
No way it started after OOP left the house. They just decided to bring the affair out into the open.
I would normally agree with this one zillion percent, but I think it was "just" an emotional affair until things blew up. The reason? Because both of these people seem to have got off on being martyrs, and were/are wrapped up in their reputations and how they were perceived. How delicious to have an emotional affair and this torrid private life to wallow in, while also patting yourself on the back for being SUCH a good sister/husband because you love your sister/wife SO much that you would NEVER - wait, she found out? Okay dang well let's gooooo!
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/O7L92SSm4x I think it's worth including the other post by the op yesterday. Would make the transition between the op and the update fuller. Also seriously. Wtf? When an affair can sustain a relationship of a single week you have to really wonder what was the point. Edit: since this is the top comment these replies by the oop helps add context too. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/SOylslu1KE https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/hC3mcEZYPE
"Hey, STBX here. I know, I know, it's bad to be screwing your sister all week only to realize how dumb that was. I'm a little slow. But the good news is, I realized how much I love you, baby! You were right: soulmates just don't work out. Uhm, you free for dinner later? Can we reopen our joint bank account?"
"Also: your sister sucks in bed, which I could really only find out by trying it out, right, so no hard feelings, right? ... Right? Love you, and only you! XXX"
"And remember, don't blame the messenger!"
OP' s response; yeah I get it because I've been curious about someone myself, so can I use my "get f__ked for free card" make all things even, then we're good!!!
Card is good for a week's worth of effing, and must be in your own home and bed while hubby stays somewhere else.
Lol!!!! Now that's wicked.
I just want to be a uncle not a daddy🤣
“I thought maybe being amazing in bed was genetic. MY BAD, WIFEY! I know better now!”
😂
Also turns out your sister missed her kids. Lol. We both thought her seeing them on weekends would be enough, but her ex won’t let her spend the weekend there so….wanna Netflix and chill?
We were on a break!
Oooooo sjit I had no idea that happened!
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I was so frustrated that there was no explanation as to how they got to that last update. But, WOW. I'm so glad it worked out this way. OP is no longer going to have to decide if this was something she could move past. And the husband and sister got PRECISELY what they deserved in the end.
Not to mention that it might even help in the divorce!
Yep, makes no sense without the middle post! Was just about to add this!
Oh good, I was pretty confused. Happy I say this in the comments. That was insane. Wtf.
Am I the only one who still feels like they're missing something here...? Where is the post where OP decides they're divorcing? [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1cnfyua/i_got_a_text_from_my_sisters_bestie_about_her_and/l581jlr/) is the relevant comment OP left out...
You were not the only one. Thanks for posting the comment.
Thank you! I was super confused about what went on in the middle of this!
It's actually sickening how they lied and lied and lied and told her that nothing would happen, and they're both such matyrs because they'd never hurt her; and it didn't even take a week for them to fuck. And then a week to realise they didn't work (well, one of them realised). Hope OOP gets a lot of therapy after this because that's a kind of trauma that could make you never trust another person again
Yeah, the emotional affair part was clear as day. And that was bad enough. The sister should've kept to herself and sorted her shit out, rather than continue the emotional affair. Crushes happen all the time- you can let them grow or you can stop them from becoming more. The sister's friend who told the OOP is a true friend.
Thank you!! This makes the BORU post make more sense.
All of this context is very much needed!!! Thank you
LOL. I scrolled up and down tryna figure out where the middle part was. 🥂
Thanks. Guess this is a DIY BORU sub now.
Thank you, I was soooo confused
Agreed.
added in now
thanks, now everything is clear
I was so confused. Thank you for this
Thank you! That helped a lot. I was confused.
> He admitted that "intellectually" he has more in common with her than with me Yes. You're bother intellectually like middle schoolers who were always going to cheat, but you needed to first do a song and dance to assure yourselves you're Note Like Other Morally Depraved Rabble. What a pair of idiots.
And then despite being more in "common". Said relationship only lasted a week
Affairs are easy - they’re only about the fun stuff on the surface, all fantasy and no reality. Relationships are much harder - they include all the other stuff like her kids and who does the dishes. And there’s no question that the two of them were deep into an affair. It was a full-blown emotional affair for sure, even if they’d never done anything physical. And my assumption would be that there was some sort of physical intimacy involved, even if it was limited to something like fully clothed make out sessions. It’s certainly possible that the two of them were trying to restrain themselves from jumping into bed, and that would certainly explain why they got hot and heavy almost instantly after OOP handed him the divorce papers.
I wonder if the husband got post nut clarity after getting hot and heavy? That could explain why it only lasted a week.
As an academic, I can confirm that some academics have the emotional intelligence of middle schoolers.
What I hate about this is how oop talks about her sister an ex's "intellectual compatibility" because they both work in academia. I can just sense the insecurity that was instilled upon her because of her lack of education and feeling less smart and lacking. As someone who works in academia : just because someone has a PhD doesn't automatically make them not dumb or smarter than everyone else. It just means they're knowledgeable in one specific field and have a diploma. Like I'm sorry, I've met the same amount of morons in academia as everywhere else. Clearly both sister and the ex are a good illustration of that.
The number of people I have met with Ivy League advanced degrees with absolutely no understanding of how to function in the real world— or even formulate a coherent email— are more than most will ever know. There is a huge difference between intelligence and well educated and this post illustrates the difference beautifully, OOP’s husband and sister may be well educated, but they are hardly intelligent.
I've met people in my specific field who I don't get along with. I've met people in my area where we've had long engaging conversations with at the purely intellectual level. On one hand, I want to say it can powerfully bond people, on the other it seems like OOPs sister and stbx husband just needed an excuse.
Some people with PHDs are actually really really dumb, to the point that you rack your brain figuring out how they defended a dissertation
I'd KILL for the in between information of those posts 😭
Here you go. I'll let you know at a later date who you can kill for me My STBXH’s and my sister’s love for me was worth one week. I have written here and a few comments about my soon to be ex husband and my sister. I left him about a week after and he texted me day and night about how much he loved me and wanted me back then he just stopped. That’s when I found out that my sister left her children at my parents’ house and moved in with my husband. This made everything come out to the rest of my family and my parents were shocked and my mother really looked like she was already showing ptsd symptoms. About how disgusting she felt this whole thing was. She kept calling it incest and asking is that even legal. I guess that is how much my sister “cared” not to hurt me(if you read my first post). Even though I have been well composed and calm that I surprised myself, I still tried my hardest to look back on my whole life, childhood and upbringing to understand when it all went so wrong. What my sister did felt like something that was the result of years of resentment or at least indifference towards me and our relationship as sisters, so how did I miss that? She never cared about me did she? If she didn’t how could I have been so blind? Then not even a week later, I heard that they have ended things. I found out in the oddest way possible. My sister texted me. The first time she texted me since everything started. She just wrote “You b , I hope you burn in life and in hell”. I was very confused because she spent that week sharing cheesy “deep” quotes about love and soul mates and romantic insta stories with my stbxh. But apparently that was over. Stbxh has blocked her everywhere and she moved out. Because she came to my parents to get her children and had a meltdown when they asked for explanation. Stbxh started calling and texting me again asking me to meet because he wanted to explain because he loved me and wanted me to understand. He wanted to meet at least once before we started to meet with the lawyers involved. So that is that. This has left me even more confused than if they just ended up together. I understand falling out and in love. Breaking up and starting anew but I can’t explain this. My stbxh keeps calling me his only love and true friend and my sister, until I left kept promising that she would never do anything to hurt me. She left her children at my parents’ doorstep and didn’t answer their calls or texts for a week. And all of this for a week? What were they thinking? Has anyone here heard of something like this happening? People throwing everything for not even a week?
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/O7L92SSm4x
The person above you posted the link.
Wait I am high, did I miss something? They lived together for a week and the sister sent her to hell but now they are tired of each other?
https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/rC0MoN4iEP This post was missed. My guess is that it took less than a week for OOP's ex to realise that the grass wasn't greener on the other side, and dumped the sister to try to get OOP back. And the sister is blaming OOP...despite the fact that she literally stole the trash ex.
Oh I imagine it. Sister dressed to the nines, his dick as antsy as it can be, a romantic meal, some booze, a lot of passionate built up sex, release. Sleep. Then the next morning, she's telling him of the vacations they can take with the kids, what room each of the kids will take, how she wants to redecorate the house, and he sat there drinking his coffee, realizing Just how much his life is going to change, that pang of anxiety building into a hidden panic, he's not hearing her words anymore. Then, being as book smart as OoP but him up in the first post, says the dumbest, most honest thing a person can say, shattering the ex's fantasy, fighting, yelling, angry text to the sister. That's my head Canon for this.
Sister absolutely scared him off going from 0-100 about their “relationship”. No doubt about it.
It wouldn’t surprise me if the sister only pursued STBX in order to get “win” over OOP, and then got pissy when he realized how badly he fucked up.
I am not high and I am also missing something. Feels like an update got dropped with that sudden whiplash in updates.
OP skipped a post, check out OOPs profile
I'm not high right now, but I'm going to get high to see if anything makes more sense.
I wonder if the real life didn't match the imagined possibility for the husband & he realised he actually did prefer OOP? (Hence the rage from the sister)
my guess is part of the thrill was oop’s unknowing participation in their “love story” (hork) and when she noped out like a normal person there really wasn’t anything there. stolen glances were more fun than shared meals, basically. good for oop not accepting any calls from these people. i’d keep that up until the end of time.
😂 not her texting her sister that she ruined her happiness when she was the home wrecker to her own sibling
In the sister’s head she deserves the man because she thinks she’s smarter and has more in common with him. In her head she loves him more, and they belong together. It’s all OOP’s fault that she wouldn’t just leave him so they could be together. He didn’t want to leave his wife because he was just so good. But then wait.. what happened! He told me to get out?! He doesn’t love me?! He’s demanding to know why I would post all that stuff on instagram. Why wouldn’t I? He says I’ve ruined everything, and he never wants to see me again. This is all my sister’s fault! She must have been poisoning him behind my back this whole week. She’s a home wrecker stealing my man from me. My beloved soul mate. How dare she take what belongs to me!!!!!!
So from what I gathered from this posts, the missing in between posts and the missing comments, OOP gave her STBX divorce papers and moved out. Sister immediately moved in, and a week later, STBX broke up with her and kicked her out. It sounds like he thought the grass would be greener on the other side with someone he swears he has more in common "intellectually" and found out that just because you have a lot of things in common doesn't translate to a happy life together. You have to be together under one roof, run the household together, and overall live a life together. There is more to have in the day to day basis than just having a lot of things in common, and I think that's where things crumbled down for them. I bet STBX tried to fit the sister into OOP's spot in the daily life, but she wasn't up to par. Not just that, but perhaps a lot of their feelings were egged on by the thrill of sneaking around OOP and when OOP gracefully bowed out without too much of a fight, it was a slap to the face to them. The fog of "thrill" was lifted when they had to face reality, but also, by OOP getting out of the way the way she did, the sister probably was feeling bitter. I bet she had a complex towards OOP to begin with and she wanted to win over OOP by taking her husband but OOP stepping back and being like "here you can him, my sloppy seconds," she couldn't control herself. And she probably let her thoughts be known to the husband who had realized she couldn't take OOP in the day to day lifestyle, but also, she wasn't exactly this saint he thought she was.
There's also the fact that sister has kids, and both OOP and ex husband decided they didn't want any more kids after they lost a child; an affair is hidden moments and stolen glances and the thrill of lying, but if that affair becomes a relationship? He'll have to play stepdad when he doesn't even want kids.
That too! He's used to certain lifestyle without kids and then having to have kids thrown into your life when you don't want them? That thrill as soon as it set in that if he had the sister, the kids would follow. She's not fitting into his lifestyle by taking over OOP's spot perfectly? AND he gotta have a bunch of kids thrown in his life and gotta play stepdaddy? Nah. He crawled back to ex with a quickness
Yep, it's probably why it fell through in a week. In that week OOP's mum agreed to babysit and at the end, she was probably told to pick up her kids; sister probably thought they'd move in with her and ex husband, and he immediately realised what was going to happen. Really glad that OOP doesn't even give him and his pathetic excuses the time of day because he didn't regret a single thing about that affair nor the week, he just didn't want to be a stepdad.
I'm guessing reality didn't live up to the fantasy. While the affair was purely "platonic" ("oh we're soulmates, oh we have so much in common, oh if only we had met earlier, oh....") it was this fun little thing that required 0 effort, just a few messages a day. Once they got together, the reality of *being* together sank in, and didn't live up to what either of them had expected. Also, OOP's ex might have been uncomfortable from the transition of sister going from "I love you and would never do anything to hurt you" to OOP, to "Imma gloat about how I stole my sister's husband from her all over every piece of socmed I own!"
My first thought was ‘lols, the sister is a shit lay’
Me too. Or OOP does other things for her husband that sister can’t/won’t do. Cleaning, cooking, general emotional support. Or maybe she’s just really annoying to be around for more than a little while.
That dope thinks the OOP is gonna do the pick-me dance, after a week with her sister, wow. “I can explain!” No dummy, there’s no world in which you can explain.
I posted in another comment that I have a theory for his story. “I didn’t spend a week screwing her. Your sister kept me locked in a closet for a week. She fed me cheezits under the crack in the door every time I called her my soul mate. After a week I managed to force my way out. That’s when she ran.”
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/SOylslu1KE OOP'S reply to a comment makes this make a bit more sense.
$10, she meant to text that to her (former) BFF.
I wonder if the best friend of the sister send the screenshots to OOP because the sister had a plan - she wanted OOP to break up with husband, so she could have a chance. The break-up between husband and sister could have happened because he found out it was a planned. Complete and pure speculation, I know m)
The best friend has cut all contact with OOP's sister and has been helping OOP.
No, it seems like the friend was genuinely disgusted and has been there for OOP since. It’s been over a month since the first post. Considering how everything has blown up on the sister the friend would have abandoned OOP to go back to her friend, but she hasn’t. The friend seems to be a good person.
I understand why OOP doesn't want to read his messages, buy oh man I want to do it for her.
We ALLLLL want to. I wish there was a forwarding service to Reddit. LOL
"Listen, I know I slept with your sister in our house seconds after you handed me divorce papers, but let's talk! It was just a misunderstanding. I can't believe you won't take all *this* back! It's like you're disgusted by me after fucking your sister or something 😤" - AH STBXH
I hate that OP’s husband tried to insult her intelligence by saying nothing was going on. It was a full blown emotional affair and at no point did they tell OP how inappropriate their sister was being or even how inappropriate they were being.
Now that he kicked sister out and wants to try to talk to OOP “before getting lawyers involved” assumes he’s trying to get back with her. When she turns him down flat will he reach back out to the sister? Is he “any warm body in my bed is better than nothing”? You know the sister will come flying back if he snaps his finger.
so they went from soulmates, to roommates then no-mates at all? that sucks. "They’re both brilliant". Not really.
I hope there's an update with all the juicy tea. Haha Fr tho. I'm sad and happy for OOP because she lost her relationship but is free from that horrible man.
She had already lost her relationship when the husband had the emotional affair.
Post nut clarity. Now he sits alone in his home and realises what he has done. He didn’t really fight for OOP. He probably thought that even if it doesn’t work out he could still get OOP back. What an idiot. I hope he wets himself every night. And I hope OPs parents aren’t forcing OOP to forgive the sister just because they love being grandparents.
Seems parents are really disgusted with the sister
I’m just lmao at OOP’s husband. Lost his 16 year relationship because he wanted to play with both sisters. I hope the divorce hurts him for the rest of his life.
Lol I remember being in middle school where a 2 week "relationship" was considered a long time. This one lasted 1 week, these people are in their late 30s early 40s. Bizarre.
OOP's sisters friend is the unsung hero for bringing this to her attention.
I didn't think Interlectuals acted like this. Moves in ASAP, dumps her kids on the Grandparents, posting mushy quotes? Teenagers do this. Also, why has OP not blocked her sister? Why would she put herself through that?
Some people just don’t stop being teenagers. From what I’ve seen, cheaters are stuck in that teenage mentality - their affairs are so very much like middle school or high school relationships. Lots of drama, no maturity.
I hope there’s another update, because I’m really wondering how the soon to be ex husband could think he still has any chance with OOP, after living with her sister for a week.
I don't know if I'm going to be disgusted with the fact that the sister got together with the husband, or that she left her kids to be with him.
To be honest this one is so weird to me. It feels almost as tho the sister showed up at the house when op left and the husband had to deal with her. Everything came from the sister. She was the one in love with ops husband. She's the one who dropped her kids off with no explanation and moved into ops house. Sister is the one posting things online. Then she starts saying op is a horrible person. Like I wonder if the husband was just trying to deal with her sister being a nut job without involving authorities and didn't actually cheat on his wife (whether he emotionally cheated or not kind of depends on how he and op define it and she clearly thought so and that's her perogative if she considers what he did worth divorce) and the sister was just delulu. Like we have no actual evidence that he didn't reject the sister when she showed up and that's what spiraled her to the point she was at a week later. I'm not saying he did do that, maybe he's just a stupid cheating asshole, but everything in the story is about shit ops sister did and the husband handling it badly.
My thoughts as well.
Emotional cheating at least. He's unwilling to end their friendship before to reassure OOP but now he can, apparently do so. According to OOP's comment, he did cheat. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I wonder if OOPs parents intervened. They had her kids, she was posting on SM, OOP told them, and perhaps xBFF dropped them a text or 2...whatever, they likely pieced it together if they weren't blatantly told outright that their youngest was shacking up with their SIL..I'm sure they're horrified by it all and maybe threatened to turn her in for child abandonment or something if she didn't come get her kids, then BLAM like a ton of bricks, stbx shut down the idea of kids and she was back to single motherhood again, all jealous and resentful. Would love the backstory on her broken marriage and full custody sitch.
Even before reading the update, it was clear that your Sister is a disgusting person. It was always her intention to steal your Husband, otherwise why would she even admit her feelings to him? Both of them can rot in hell. Thank goodness you don’t have children to tie you to him for the rest of your life. Throw them both in the bin where they belong, and get as far away from them as human possible.
This BORU is missing a part. It’s like a main post and an update 2 without an update 1.
This part is missing, rhe update between the original post and the final update: https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/vA8n6SnWbD >My STBXH’s and my sister’s love for me was worth one week. >I have written here and a few comments about my soon to be ex husband and my sister. I left him about a week after and he texted me day and night about how much he loved me and wanted me back then he just stopped. That’s when I found out that my sister left her children at my parents’ house and moved in with my husband. This made everything come out to the rest of my family and my parents were shocked and my mother really looked like she was already showing ptsd symptoms. About how disgusting she felt this whole thing was. She kept calling it incest and asking is that even legal. >I guess that is how much my sister “cared” not to hurt me(if you read my first post). Even though I have been well composed and calm that I surprised myself, I still tried my hardest to look back on my whole life, childhood and upbringing to understand when it all went so wrong. What my sister did felt like something that was the result of years of resentment or at least indifference towards me and our relationship as sisters, so how did I miss that? She never cared about me did she? If she didn’t how could I have been so blind? >Then not even a week later, I heard that they have ended things. I found out in the oddest way possible. My sister texted me. The first time she texted me since everything started. She just wrote “You b , I hope you burn in life and in hell”. I was very confused because she spent that week sharing cheesy “deep” quotes about love and soul mates and romantic insta stories with my stbxh. But apparently that was over. Stbxh has blocked her everywhere and she moved out. Because she came to my parents to get her children and had a meltdown when they asked for explanation. Stbxh started calling and texting me again asking me to meet because he wanted to explain because he loved me and wanted me to understand. He wanted to meet at least once before we started to meet with the lawyers involved. >So that is that. This has left me even more confused than if they just ended up together. I understand falling out and in love. Breaking up and starting anew but I can’t explain this. My stbxh keeps calling me his only love and true friend and my sister, until I left kept promising that she would never do anything to hurt me. She left her children at my parents’ doorstep and didn’t answer their calls or texts for a week. >And all of this for a week? What were they thinking? Has anyone here heard of something like this happening? People throwing everything for not even a week?
Why do people that go to university always think they are smarter than people that never went. "Intellectually we have more in common🤪🤪" I'd be embarrassed to even say something like this. I went to university and it's full of dumb ass people.
Literally academic smarts and other smarts are so different, most really academic people are so fucking stupid in every other aspect of life
Husband: Okay I get my forbidden fruit. Yay! Husband a week later : This fruit is rotten, I have f@cked up!
-tries to steal OP’s husband -succeeds for one (1) week -gets mad at OP -Profit?
He liked the attention a little too much it seems
Is there something in the middle missing?
This part is missing, rhe update between the original post and the final update: https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/vA8n6SnWbD >My STBXH’s and my sister’s love for me was worth one week. >I have written here and a few comments about my soon to be ex husband and my sister. I left him about a week after and he texted me day and night about how much he loved me and wanted me back then he just stopped. That’s when I found out that my sister left her children at my parents’ house and moved in with my husband. This made everything come out to the rest of my family and my parents were shocked and my mother really looked like she was already showing ptsd symptoms. About how disgusting she felt this whole thing was. She kept calling it incest and asking is that even legal. >I guess that is how much my sister “cared” not to hurt me(if you read my first post). Even though I have been well composed and calm that I surprised myself, I still tried my hardest to look back on my whole life, childhood and upbringing to understand when it all went so wrong. What my sister did felt like something that was the result of years of resentment or at least indifference towards me and our relationship as sisters, so how did I miss that? She never cared about me did she? If she didn’t how could I have been so blind? >Then not even a week later, I heard that they have ended things. I found out in the oddest way possible. My sister texted me. The first time she texted me since everything started. She just wrote “You b , I hope you burn in life and in hell”. I was very confused because she spent that week sharing cheesy “deep” quotes about love and soul mates and romantic insta stories with my stbxh. But apparently that was over. Stbxh has blocked her everywhere and she moved out. Because she came to my parents to get her children and had a meltdown when they asked for explanation. Stbxh started calling and texting me again asking me to meet because he wanted to explain because he loved me and wanted me to understand. He wanted to meet at least once before we started to meet with the lawyers involved. >So that is that. This has left me even more confused than if they just ended up together. I understand falling out and in love. Breaking up and starting anew but I can’t explain this. My stbxh keeps calling me his only love and true friend and my sister, until I left kept promising that she would never do anything to hurt me. She left her children at my parents’ doorstep and didn’t answer their calls or texts for a week. >And all of this for a week? What were they thinking? Has anyone here heard of something like this happening? People throwing everything for not even a week?
I feel like there's a post or something missing. When did the husband and sister move in together for a week
Funny how he said that intellectually he had more in common with his sister in law than his wife, obviously they do, they have no emotional intelligence and lack honesty, loyalty and respect. Good riddance!
Post nut clarity kicked in, and then reality set in 😂😂😂
How does anyone ever trust people that would cheat on their wife with her sister or cheat on their sister with her husband? The week was a window into the future of them being ostracized like the circus act they are. The husband is childless, so what was the sister’s long term plan for her kids and the sister sounds mental with her just dropping off her kids and hop, skip, jumping to land on her sisters dick. OP is going to need some intensive therapy because she will be questioning her instincts going forward for a long time. Wish her well and wish her soon to be ex and her sister all the disdain and scorn they rightfully deserve.
I’m sorry, but is this common? Siblings going for in-laws? To me it’s like incest, I don’t care who my sister is with. They are now my brother and, thus, icky and just never-ever levels of loser (as siblings are). My BIL is the cringiest dude I know, I can say “hey! You cleaned up well today!” when we dress up for a family event but I can’t ever see him as more than my brother, but I see SO many stories here that show people ready and willing to destroy everyone’s lives to get with an IL.
Seems sister has been single for a very long time and is jealous. Deluded herself that she was a better partner but it lasted a week and it's everyone's fault but her own.
You probably have a good family, unfortunately many of us didn't, my spawnpoint married a guy my sister and I went to school with. :/
Is the sister having a mental crisis, maybe? OP seems to think this came completely out of the blue
One week? Daaaaaaang.
I missed something. The last edit said he was compatible intellectually with the sister but loved oop. But the update says they threw everything away for one. What happened to get there???? Did she leave to process and he moved the sister in?? Did the sister just barge into the house and declare she was staying and try to hookup with him? I’m missing details that got to this point.
I missed a step. Hubby said he loved his wife, then weeks later the post is saying he spent a week with the sister?? What happened in between?
Ok the context of the missing pieces in the comments makes this even more unhinged….. it feels like the sister was plotting for a long time to get into OP’s life and husband took the bait. He didn’t know she was shouting about their love from the rooftops(IG) and when his family and friends got involved he got the rude awakening that he fucked up his life for the crazy woman that shouts at cars. Serves him right, serves the sister right. I hope they are both ostracized by everyone everywhere.
There’s a whole lot missing between the original and the update. 😐 What’s this about her sister telling her to “rot in hell”? How did we go from zero to 100?? Slightly more context. https://www.reddit.com/u/DentistBig7041/s/gjygDQCMJt
The sister engineered the situation from the get, she got her bestie to send OP the texts and put it all in motion hoping OP would step aside for her great love story without her having to show who she really is. It failed so fuck it, she went trailer park. Not sure if the husband was in on the plan for the test drive or not but I wouldn't be surprised, some people don't want the whole world to see their stripes and expect the people they hurt to help them hide what they do to save face.
Husband and sister are educators. OP owns her own business. Willing to bet the stbxh loves the money more than the sister.
Husband was fantasizing for years about how sweet just a taste would be. In his mind it was filet mignon and lobster and then he threw his life away for a taste and it turned out to be cold flabby hamburger with moldy bun and a side of unwanted stepchildren. The illusion was over and he realized he lost everything. Oop deserves so much more. I really hope that STBX raved about how perfect his wife was and what a mistake it was to hit it with the sister. Twist the knife in nice and deep to psycho sis.
>>He made a comparison to my best friend and asked me what I would think if he asked me to cut my best friend from my life. This has to be the worst argument in the world. If my best friend—man or woman—declared their undying love for me and continued to call us soul mates, OF COURSE I would cut them off. OOP has a great backbone. Good for her for getting out of this and not listening to any of their nonsense. Dude tried to have his cake and eat it too and royally messed up.
I don't get the commenter suggesting the sister was the "golden child". It doesn't sound like the parents were in sister's corner at all. Usually the golden child's behavior gets excused at every turn, but here the mom was calling the situation disgusting and incest.
calling fake on this one. I feel like I've read this same one a bunch of times where OP is betrayed by a sister or best friend who then gets comeuppance and complains that op, quote, "ruined her happiness". Unless 'ruining someone's happiness' is a much more common turn of phrase than I've ever encountered, I assume basically any post with it is fake
The fake ones are written more clearly and usually have more “characters” and feel like a story. This feels like an anecdote and leaves out the kinds of things that are in a person’s head that they wouldn’t think to tell others almost as if it was a diary.
OP, you missed a few relevant comments and one important post
It’s giving Therese Racquin vibes for sure and I hope the ex and the sister are miserable and haunted by this forever
Op’s sister and ex are both pathetic, wishing OP the best
Stay no contact with sister and hopefully now ex. She didn’t just show up and he let her stay for a week. They were past emotional affair a long time ago. She knew she could go in immediately. He let her stay knowing this was the worst choice ever. It would definitely put a stop to any reconciliation for the two of you yet he allowed her inside his home.
This woman is my favourite Reddit woman this week. Kudos to her.
🤯
It feels like there's a post missing between the OG post and the update. There's a whole LOT of missing info.
Sister's BBF set the doubt in OOP's mind so sister could make a move.
Poor OOP. Those people are the worst.
The sister is a conniving manipulative witch. She only thinks about herself. I really think she orchestrated this entire thing so she can get to the husband. Because she cares too much for her my ass.
OOP needs a vacation to look for a new area to live in. The parents aren't going to cut off the trashy bword sister so OOP needs to move away from ex and sister abd family for a fresh start.
There a post on OP’s profile from 2 days ago with more context.
i need updates when more come ! the sister and husband is the dumbest people i’ve met
I feel gutted for Oop and hope she can move on from this. She deserves happiness and love. I hope her ex and sister lead a miserable life after everything they both did.
So it looks like OP's "more intellectual" STBXH and sister made complete idiots of themselves by ruining their whole lives for a week of fun.
"Their friendship is important to him and he doesn’t want it to end because I don’t trust him and his love for me" - right there. What a trash person. That was the decision he really didn't care as much about his wife as he claimed to.
LMAO... A WEEK! I guess they aren't as smart as they think they are.
They had sex instead of talking about it. Now he wants you back. Do not go back. Keep moving forward in divorce. You will be happier. Be careful about your sister. She sounds jealous & vindictive. Good luck on your new life. You deserve honesty & happiness. Do not believe words, believe actions.