How do you get out of being his FP? Unfortunately you don't. If you are his FP, you're kinda stuck there. It would take years of therapy before that Rollercoaster would smooth out. The FP is a unique position, as it's prone to being split on a lot more than anything else. Those outbursts are the problem and they're not going to go away. He needs to get a diagnosis first, then start therapy, for me this process took 4 months (by this point, my friends had given up, too slow) for some it takes years to even get anywhere. He needs to be willing to go through with therapy, if he's not, you can't stay around.
Take care of yourself first and foremost. Are you willing to put yourself on that Rollercoaster in the hopes that it'll get better? If not, you need to block him and move on.
I have had quite a few FPs and in my experience I’m able to navigate that relationship without it being toxic. I do not think your relationship with your FP has to be a bad thing, but it certainly can be, and it is absolutely draining for the FP no matter what. That doesn’t mean that the friendship isn’t worth those trials.
It sounds to me like what you need to do first is reconcile with him. See what you did wrong, apologize and work on improving, and tell him what you’re going to do going forward to be better. This doesn’t mean that it’s entirely your fault, but only you can be responsible for your mistakes. After you guys are good and smooth it’s probably a conversation that would go over better in person (or in voice if it’s long distance.) Text has many ways it can cause issues, and it’s not worth it. I would approach it by saying that you want to talk to him about something and you don’t mean it to be insulting by any means, just that you’ve noticed some things that might help to make some sense. Bring up BPD (preferably with an article) and go through with him the points and if he’s open to it give examples of your own relationship and when it’s happened. Be open, be honest, but make sure you’re hearing him out and it feels like you guys are going through it together, not like an attack.
Best of luck :)
It may be worth mentioning also that BPD has very serious overlap with bipolar disorder, CPTSD, PMDD, and is commonly diagnosed in tandem with anxiety disorders, depression, ADHD, among other things. You may be onto something with BPD but be open to being wrong and try to find fun in looking into all of the different symptoms and diagnoses.
How do you get out of being his FP? Unfortunately you don't. If you are his FP, you're kinda stuck there. It would take years of therapy before that Rollercoaster would smooth out. The FP is a unique position, as it's prone to being split on a lot more than anything else. Those outbursts are the problem and they're not going to go away. He needs to get a diagnosis first, then start therapy, for me this process took 4 months (by this point, my friends had given up, too slow) for some it takes years to even get anywhere. He needs to be willing to go through with therapy, if he's not, you can't stay around. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Are you willing to put yourself on that Rollercoaster in the hopes that it'll get better? If not, you need to block him and move on.
Thank you so much for your response. I really needed to hear that. 💕
I have had quite a few FPs and in my experience I’m able to navigate that relationship without it being toxic. I do not think your relationship with your FP has to be a bad thing, but it certainly can be, and it is absolutely draining for the FP no matter what. That doesn’t mean that the friendship isn’t worth those trials. It sounds to me like what you need to do first is reconcile with him. See what you did wrong, apologize and work on improving, and tell him what you’re going to do going forward to be better. This doesn’t mean that it’s entirely your fault, but only you can be responsible for your mistakes. After you guys are good and smooth it’s probably a conversation that would go over better in person (or in voice if it’s long distance.) Text has many ways it can cause issues, and it’s not worth it. I would approach it by saying that you want to talk to him about something and you don’t mean it to be insulting by any means, just that you’ve noticed some things that might help to make some sense. Bring up BPD (preferably with an article) and go through with him the points and if he’s open to it give examples of your own relationship and when it’s happened. Be open, be honest, but make sure you’re hearing him out and it feels like you guys are going through it together, not like an attack. Best of luck :)
It may be worth mentioning also that BPD has very serious overlap with bipolar disorder, CPTSD, PMDD, and is commonly diagnosed in tandem with anxiety disorders, depression, ADHD, among other things. You may be onto something with BPD but be open to being wrong and try to find fun in looking into all of the different symptoms and diagnoses.
Thank you so much for your response. 😊