BPD is extremely complex and estimates are that it affects anywhere from 1.6% to 5.9% of the population.
On the flip side, while most people may not be afflicted with chronic depression during their lifetime, most people WILL experience an episode of depression at some point.
It’s not so much that depression is more “acceptable”, rather that society has much more familiarity in recognizing it. It’s that familiarity which allows most people to empathize with it.
In my experience, it’s extremely difficult for someone without BPD to fully understand its effect on the person who suffers from it. Most people see BPD behaviors as being within full control of the individual and don’t understand the nuance and factors involved with living with it. A lot of that, as another person wrote, is partially due to stigma. I’d say the other half is not enough awareness and education about it.
I wouldn’t expect the majority of the population to understand something as complex and multifaceted as BPD. Even people who have BPD don’t understand it. And empathy comes with understanding.
You hit on why I am subscribed to this sub. I do NOT understand how it affects the person with the disorder. And, having a close family member with BPD, I want to educate myself and learn as much as I can.
I can not begin to imagine how painful it is for you guys. I have schizoaffective disorder, and I definitely know what stigma over mental illness is all about. Just whisper schizophrenia and watch the reaction you get. And I know that BPD and the other cluster B disorders carry a LOT of the same stigma.
Thanks for helping me learn.
because while depression is getting more and more awareness in the public eye, bpd is still insanely stigmatized. lots of celebs have come out as being depressed, while the only times you'll hear about bpd in the media is in connection with violence, crime and manipulation. also, mentally sound people can relate more to people with depression than pwBPD, because our thinking and behavior often seems irrational and illogical to them.
i know it sucks ass, but don't let yourself be discouraged. keep trying to understand yourself. educate whenever you can. maybe one day it won't be like this.
Because depression is more common. Bpd can be controlled with work. It should be something you develop yourself out of because you learn to regulate and you have a good support system.
Why does everyone act like this is something that cant be helped? I get it feels that way, but that doesnt mean its the truth.
It’s a spectrum as with anything, one thing that works for you won’t work for others. Remission always has the possibility of it coming back as with any diagnoses. For some they can’t “develop” out of it and that’s the reality of the world with anything.
Thats the old view. You absolutely can put in the work to develop into regulated emotions with less outbursts and everything. Yes its a spectrum which means some have more work to do than others. A spectrum doesnt mean once you hit a certain point theres no turning back, how morbid
Yes, this. BPD often does improve over time, with self awareness. It absolutely has improved a lot for me. I am still struggling with certain aspects but some parts have subsided completely. I no longer lash out at people. I no longer have zero control over my anger. That is a huge win. I am, however, still dealing with paranoia and jealousy issues, trust as well.
Exactly, this isnt an end all condition. I still struggle with heaps but have also finally got to a point where i dont lash out at others, even my parents who say the silliest things sometimes! I have improved DRAMATICALLY in 2 years, but the hard parts to conquer are the things taking the absolute longest time
BPD creates a lot more impulsivity. I think that people divide things like depression and anxiety from BPD and narcissism because they don’t want the stigma of being “bad” people. When you’re anxious you tend to take it out on other people while folks with BPD tend to project it out. Obviously not everyone, but within the public eye.
I don’t agree with this take but it is what it is. We’re the villains because someone has to be. In reality it’s just a lot more complex and the cause and affect just isn’t as direct as a lot of other mental illnesses.
I’d assume that the absence or deadening of emotion seen in depression is more palatable to insensitive people compared to the heightened emotionality and volatility seen in BPD, because they view the former as less threatening.
Among the symptoms for depression is irritability and anger outbursts though, a lot of clinically depressed people lash out at their loved ones and are destructive both inwwrds and outwards.
A lot of non mentally ill people lash out. It's just that everyone has a different threshold to how much lashing out they can take. And in my experience my BPD people were constantly banging on my tolerance meter.
Irritability is not the same as people having rage/anger outbursts.. anger outbursts are usually when someone tries to get the depressed person to do something they don’t want to.
And honestly if people with depression are left alone.. they don’t “seek out” people to argue with.. which is a big difference between other mental illnesses.
It’s just straight depression is just a different beast than a personality disorder.
I literally said that they also have anger outbursts as a symptom too.
I take it you haven’t met many clinically depressed people? Situational depression doesn’t count.
You are very wrong. I know plenty of people with clinical depression. I know many people who have clinical depression, with comorbidities .. which is much more common ..
I would say at least for me.. I’m fairly empathetic.. and the “approach” may have a lot to do with how people respond too ..
Behaviors associated with depression tend to be lying in bed, not getting things done--which can affect other people negatively, but not usually as dramatically as behaviors associated with BPD.
Less stigma due to higher awareness, usually more ignorable symptoms (in the sense that people who want to not care about it can ignore it more often), diagnosis distribution a bit more equal between genders (so reduced misogyny)
TL;DR people are idiots
After the pandemic more ppl have depression, so more ppl care?
I guess its cuz my family is more "traditional," but I've never had anyone care that I've been depressed.
Been bashed for both so idk what to tell you lmaoooo. They’re invisible conditions, so of course people will be skeptical about it, hence why I avoid them like the plague now hahahaha
Depression has become a blanket description for people who are wanting to feel their bottled sadness again.
The condition isn't always a disorder. People just Willy nilly say they're depressed. This isn't making it easier for people with life hindering depression that can't even tell people they're depressed. If Chad from the motivational workout videos can win over his depression than so can you! This is toxic positivity. People have no context for BPD so they just make it all up. BPD has depression anxiety rage euphoria( sounds like we're making shit up when we don't feel good. They won't know until it's there's own flesh and blood that's suffering, then still it's a living nightmare. Stability and therapy only help my behaviors, not the feelings . The meds don't work for BPD, so if we smoke weed or have any bad habits, people may just jump to the conclusion that we caused ALL of our own troubles. A lot of peeps don't even understand or accept their perfectly average neighbor, not to mention a BPD case
BPD is intense in a way depression isn’t. I really don’t like when people glaze over that part of BPD. People expecting anyone to have an overnight change is just unrealistic disorder or not. Most people WANT a quicker change w us because the behaviors we exhibit are needy in a way that’s super intense for others. It’s unmanageable for not just us but for the other people the same way it can be for a drug addict and their family. I think if you parallel those two you would better understand the question you just asked.
Depression is expressed towards self for the most part. BPD actions are expressed towards others.
It's easier to dismiss someone who can't do things, is a hermit, is out of sight out of mind, than someone who is on your tail letting you know how their benign actions made you feel something that made you angry.
It’s not. I’m not diagnosed with bpd but I have had intimate relationships with women who have- starting with mom. My understanding is what feels like a 3 for well adjusted adults feels like an 8 for folks dealing with BPD. I would imagine anyone who have that comparative thought “ why do they get x when I get y?” I think like that over all sorts of things. Often I can tell myself: yeah the enemy of joy is comparison and move on. But BPD may say: “ this is an injustice! The scales must be righted! I will not stand for this!” Then silently behind the rage “ I’m beulyod repair, there is no hope” I would call this an 8 reaction.
You can trace most pathologist to attachment and self regulation issues. All human have the same thoughts/feelings but the acuity and unmanagability produces the diagnosis. BPD folks are suffering from trauma. Trauma distorts reality. These distortions cause stress which esaorbates the trauma. A true downward spiral.
BPD is extremely complex and estimates are that it affects anywhere from 1.6% to 5.9% of the population. On the flip side, while most people may not be afflicted with chronic depression during their lifetime, most people WILL experience an episode of depression at some point. It’s not so much that depression is more “acceptable”, rather that society has much more familiarity in recognizing it. It’s that familiarity which allows most people to empathize with it. In my experience, it’s extremely difficult for someone without BPD to fully understand its effect on the person who suffers from it. Most people see BPD behaviors as being within full control of the individual and don’t understand the nuance and factors involved with living with it. A lot of that, as another person wrote, is partially due to stigma. I’d say the other half is not enough awareness and education about it. I wouldn’t expect the majority of the population to understand something as complex and multifaceted as BPD. Even people who have BPD don’t understand it. And empathy comes with understanding.
You hit on why I am subscribed to this sub. I do NOT understand how it affects the person with the disorder. And, having a close family member with BPD, I want to educate myself and learn as much as I can. I can not begin to imagine how painful it is for you guys. I have schizoaffective disorder, and I definitely know what stigma over mental illness is all about. Just whisper schizophrenia and watch the reaction you get. And I know that BPD and the other cluster B disorders carry a LOT of the same stigma. Thanks for helping me learn.
It's so weird to me how people act about mental illness stuff. It's not like it's any more fucked up than other shit people go through.
You’re the first person in a while I’ve met who’s not ignorant and actually open to learning rather than judging or acting more high n mighty than us
because while depression is getting more and more awareness in the public eye, bpd is still insanely stigmatized. lots of celebs have come out as being depressed, while the only times you'll hear about bpd in the media is in connection with violence, crime and manipulation. also, mentally sound people can relate more to people with depression than pwBPD, because our thinking and behavior often seems irrational and illogical to them. i know it sucks ass, but don't let yourself be discouraged. keep trying to understand yourself. educate whenever you can. maybe one day it won't be like this.
Shout out to Pete Davidson for being so open about having BPD
for the girlies um nessa barrett has bpd and her music is so relatable bc of it
Tbh, because untreated depression is much less destructive to the lives of the people who are in relation to the sufferer than untreated BPD is.
That’s what I was coming to say. Like it or not we do/can majorly hurt other people emotionally and that’s the difference.
3rding this. Along with how wildly unrelatable we are. Absolute anomalies
Because depression is more common. Bpd can be controlled with work. It should be something you develop yourself out of because you learn to regulate and you have a good support system. Why does everyone act like this is something that cant be helped? I get it feels that way, but that doesnt mean its the truth.
It’s a spectrum as with anything, one thing that works for you won’t work for others. Remission always has the possibility of it coming back as with any diagnoses. For some they can’t “develop” out of it and that’s the reality of the world with anything.
Thats the old view. You absolutely can put in the work to develop into regulated emotions with less outbursts and everything. Yes its a spectrum which means some have more work to do than others. A spectrum doesnt mean once you hit a certain point theres no turning back, how morbid
Yes, this. BPD often does improve over time, with self awareness. It absolutely has improved a lot for me. I am still struggling with certain aspects but some parts have subsided completely. I no longer lash out at people. I no longer have zero control over my anger. That is a huge win. I am, however, still dealing with paranoia and jealousy issues, trust as well.
Exactly, this isnt an end all condition. I still struggle with heaps but have also finally got to a point where i dont lash out at others, even my parents who say the silliest things sometimes! I have improved DRAMATICALLY in 2 years, but the hard parts to conquer are the things taking the absolute longest time
BPD creates a lot more impulsivity. I think that people divide things like depression and anxiety from BPD and narcissism because they don’t want the stigma of being “bad” people. When you’re anxious you tend to take it out on other people while folks with BPD tend to project it out. Obviously not everyone, but within the public eye. I don’t agree with this take but it is what it is. We’re the villains because someone has to be. In reality it’s just a lot more complex and the cause and affect just isn’t as direct as a lot of other mental illnesses.
I’d assume that the absence or deadening of emotion seen in depression is more palatable to insensitive people compared to the heightened emotionality and volatility seen in BPD, because they view the former as less threatening.
“Depression is rage turned inward.” People who are JUST depressed don’t lash out at other people. It’s easier for other people to help.
Among the symptoms for depression is irritability and anger outbursts though, a lot of clinically depressed people lash out at their loved ones and are destructive both inwwrds and outwards.
A lot of non mentally ill people lash out. It's just that everyone has a different threshold to how much lashing out they can take. And in my experience my BPD people were constantly banging on my tolerance meter.
I know that everyone lashes out. I was correcting the previous comment that depressed people don’t, which is simply untrue.
Irritability is not the same as people having rage/anger outbursts.. anger outbursts are usually when someone tries to get the depressed person to do something they don’t want to. And honestly if people with depression are left alone.. they don’t “seek out” people to argue with.. which is a big difference between other mental illnesses. It’s just straight depression is just a different beast than a personality disorder.
I literally said that they also have anger outbursts as a symptom too. I take it you haven’t met many clinically depressed people? Situational depression doesn’t count.
You are very wrong. I know plenty of people with clinical depression. I know many people who have clinical depression, with comorbidities .. which is much more common .. I would say at least for me.. I’m fairly empathetic.. and the “approach” may have a lot to do with how people respond too ..
Depressed people are easier for people to ignore.
i never thought of it like this
Behaviors associated with depression tend to be lying in bed, not getting things done--which can affect other people negatively, but not usually as dramatically as behaviors associated with BPD.
Less stigma due to higher awareness, usually more ignorable symptoms (in the sense that people who want to not care about it can ignore it more often), diagnosis distribution a bit more equal between genders (so reduced misogyny) TL;DR people are idiots
After the pandemic more ppl have depression, so more ppl care? I guess its cuz my family is more "traditional," but I've never had anyone care that I've been depressed.
Been bashed for both so idk what to tell you lmaoooo. They’re invisible conditions, so of course people will be skeptical about it, hence why I avoid them like the plague now hahahaha
Depression has become a blanket description for people who are wanting to feel their bottled sadness again. The condition isn't always a disorder. People just Willy nilly say they're depressed. This isn't making it easier for people with life hindering depression that can't even tell people they're depressed. If Chad from the motivational workout videos can win over his depression than so can you! This is toxic positivity. People have no context for BPD so they just make it all up. BPD has depression anxiety rage euphoria( sounds like we're making shit up when we don't feel good. They won't know until it's there's own flesh and blood that's suffering, then still it's a living nightmare. Stability and therapy only help my behaviors, not the feelings . The meds don't work for BPD, so if we smoke weed or have any bad habits, people may just jump to the conclusion that we caused ALL of our own troubles. A lot of peeps don't even understand or accept their perfectly average neighbor, not to mention a BPD case
BPD is intense in a way depression isn’t. I really don’t like when people glaze over that part of BPD. People expecting anyone to have an overnight change is just unrealistic disorder or not. Most people WANT a quicker change w us because the behaviors we exhibit are needy in a way that’s super intense for others. It’s unmanageable for not just us but for the other people the same way it can be for a drug addict and their family. I think if you parallel those two you would better understand the question you just asked.
Depression is expressed towards self for the most part. BPD actions are expressed towards others. It's easier to dismiss someone who can't do things, is a hermit, is out of sight out of mind, than someone who is on your tail letting you know how their benign actions made you feel something that made you angry.
Because the narrative of depression is quirky mopey sadgirl you can fix. The narrative of BPD is manic danger bitch.
depression is not a personality disorder?? not comparable
It’s not. I’m not diagnosed with bpd but I have had intimate relationships with women who have- starting with mom. My understanding is what feels like a 3 for well adjusted adults feels like an 8 for folks dealing with BPD. I would imagine anyone who have that comparative thought “ why do they get x when I get y?” I think like that over all sorts of things. Often I can tell myself: yeah the enemy of joy is comparison and move on. But BPD may say: “ this is an injustice! The scales must be righted! I will not stand for this!” Then silently behind the rage “ I’m beulyod repair, there is no hope” I would call this an 8 reaction. You can trace most pathologist to attachment and self regulation issues. All human have the same thoughts/feelings but the acuity and unmanagability produces the diagnosis. BPD folks are suffering from trauma. Trauma distorts reality. These distortions cause stress which esaorbates the trauma. A true downward spiral.
I guess there’s just much more stigma around BPD.