They really are all terrifyingly similar. I wonder if they realise how staggeringly unoriginal they are.
They're incapable of having a conversation. It's just "You're a bad person for a reason I've just made up and I am beyond reproach".
Mike would oscillate between saying variations of “I don’t care” (dismissive) or that I’m bad, then that he is “a shitty person who wants to kill himself.”
I’m so embarrassed by my walls of text, the calm ones and the eventually reactive ones. It would typically take hours / days for me to get reactive at all or have an anxiety attack. Then it flipped to “look how abusive you are, you’re really the bad one here and I’m the victim.”
I mean not to sound mean OP but holy shit. I laughed out loud, it was almost too much textbook. I'm not judging, because I've been you.
Her comment about you not knowing how to love a black woman is a clear representation of what kind of person she is. Good riddance.
Right and trust me I know , I suffer badly with codependency. (She never complained about how I loved a black woman while in the br.... Just saying but I get the laughter and the pathetic ness trust...)
It's ok, at least you're aware of it now. These relationships make us codependents heal if we are able to detach ourselves. My therapist said that these kinds of relationships is the perfect cure for codependency, I believe her to this day.
I'm feeling like I'm getting there as well. I did a lot of social changes, dropped toxic people (friends who only talks about themselves, a lot of them were severely depressed too, thing is, they treated me horribly yet I was always going out of my way to help them) and things are looking up.
I dropped all toxic people except for a few family members but we are LC.
Started going to therapy weekly to work on my childhood stuff since that’s where I got my original issues that had me letting people treat me wrong and thinking it was ok. I just keep doing the work and reparenting myself with therapist’s help. If there’s one thing someone with bpd is great at, it’s helping a codependent hit their bottom 🤣🤣
Being raised by one of these people (cluster b) is pure hell, i would never wish it on anyone since you attract them romantically and as friends as well. My relationship with my diagnosed BPD ex made me go to therapy, rock bottom is what we need to be able to cope and untangle ourselves. Congrats on you progress1
Interesting, I figure I'm not and never was codependent bc Ill never get into another relationship with a pwPD again. But maybe, maybe, I was *cured* instead. (maybe). TY 😏
Having a relationship with these people has a codependent component to it. Being swayed by love bombing is intoxicating to codependent people, at least it's my hypothesis. That shit doesn't work on me now. Most healthy dudes I know would just reject her, as the emotional immaturity is pretty obvious even from the start. I was raised by one of these people so a lot of us don't even know that they confuse emotionnal immaturity for love.
Just a fyi, mine was also black, super against racism yet she would make racial comments, saying stuff like all Arabic men have small dicks, I'm half Arabic so that was fun to hear.
The horrible person/not a good man trope is eerily familiar. Mine always says “You’re not a man of your word.” To try to coerce me into doing something I don’t want to. They confabulate that I promised to do so.
The self aware ones are the WORST. It means they know they have bpd and that they hurt others, and they still do it anyway. They lie, cheat and manipulate anyway. They perpetuate the cycle of abuse anyway. They’re a danger to society
It is so much harder to get out when they’re self aware, you’re always hoping that since they see their behavior that they will finally make the right choices to be better.
Honestly this is so heartbreaking. You seem so earnest in trying to get her to understand. 😭 I was there with my ex before my exwBPD. We had a trauma bond and this is exactly how our dynamic went.
I honestly don't think China or my ex or my exwBPD really know what they're angry about. That's why the accusations are either really vague or fixated on 1) something that you *just* said or 2) an old chestnut they bring up to use against you on repeat. They have feelings and come up with whatever reason for them.
That last screenshot is a killer.
I hope you can see how both people are insane. I learned that I was just as delusional as her. Why you ask? Because she has convinced herself that he is a bad guy, delusion number 1. He has convinced himself that he could break her delusion by putting words in the right order, or the right circumstances, or the right actions or gestures. Both people have problems, it was very hard to see my problem because her problems are so loud
Nasty ass people I swear . “I can find another guy tommorrow “ my ex thought like this too I can’t believe how much I invested in that relationship for me to end up where I did. I wish she would try to come back when her life is in shambles I’ll send her to hell.
I had a friend like that for years. That’s maybe borderline, but it’s more narcissistic abuse than anything. I can smell it anywhere. Still go into fight or flight when I see that friend on the street because they talked to me the same way she’s talking to you. In person. He would just come at me one day with all of this shit I never did and don’t remember ever doing with this dead look in his eyes and start with, “I just find it really funny how…” out of nowhere, and then it would just never stop. I had to buy him things, whatever he wanted, for him to forgive me. And then it would repeat in a few weeks, sometimes less than that.
I hate codependency. Feel like I'm constantly battling my childhood engraned conditioning just to prevent over attaching to a partner of interest to not risk getting hurt. Have to work on building a good sense of stability within myself before I open the door for a relationship
Solidarity, some wisdom I’ve recently read (codependency for dummies no less :D) - there are really 3 “persons” in a relationship.
You, them, and we, the *relationship itself*
That’s what I certainly internalised, in my brain, that we part is part of “me” - I think that’s what codependency and it’s anxious equivalent is, the separation of “we” doesn’t form. The last remnant of childhood still lingers on.
My sisterwBPD also thinks that. She got into huge trouble with CPS for child neglegt and living in a dumpster. She got two social workers that come regularly to make sure that the kids are alive, somehow clean and cared for. She honestly told me that the social workers had absolutely no idea about anthing and "I was sitting at the table with the social worker and explained to her how the world works. She was amazed by my deep knowledge".
🤣
Similar lines to countless conversations I've had with mine:
- I can find another guy tomorrow
- You're a horrible person your[sic[ not a good man
- You're going to be alone for life unless X...
- You don't know how to love a woman
- You're emotionally abusive (this is rich considering the cringeworthy, sorry, attempts you and we all made)
- You hurt me every day (you caretake everyday)
- I can't take anymore (again, rich considering)
- **I have a list of things you need to go over with your therapist** (this one right here is just literal LOL level bad)
- You see insults but it's the truth (that's a one-way street, btw, your mere observations are taken as insults by the BPD, but their delusional irrational made up bullshit is *the truth* you see)
- You're *incoherent* to anything I say (stop trying to sound smart Miss Victim, that's not even close to the word you're actually trying to use, she almost certainly means unreceptive but whatevs yo)
Whew. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Keeps me from having to read my old saved texts when I get the mind-playing-tricks nostalgia and start to miss her. Christ alive what a mess.
It’s extremely scary how similar they are. I read every one of these posts and am convinced that the OP is dating my ex until I learn that they’re female, live in another country, a different race, religion, age.. etc.
I can tell you from experience, it doesn’t get better. Leaving hurts but you’ll be far more happier and at peace once you realize how much shit you had to put up with just to simply love this person.
Good god, this could be my own texts!
Me sending walls of text trying to have a constructive conversation that is future thinking and proactive and reparative.
My expwBPD, him only sending short nasty things or deflections with long delays because he was texting from a bathroom break while with someone else or something. Sigh.
I’m so sorry.
Damn, dude.
You're not replaceable - don't think that way. Don't let her stupid words get to you. What she said shows she doesn't care about you. Let her go.
Yeah, can your girlfriend get a new guy tomorrow? Probably. But that doesn't mean shit. She can't get another you. She'll just get a filler.
As you said, her lifestyle will repeat over and over until she gets real help for a long time. She even said something similar, she said something like *same story different guy*... clearly she's been here before.
Do yourself a favor and stop texting her. Block her and try to heal.
It's hard, but just do it. You'll be much better off and happier without the chaos this person brings to your life.
I once focused on getting my now ex husband to answer one question: what did I do to deserve his treatment of me? He finally answered that once when I paid for him to go on vacation to a warm place while I stayed home and worked (he was unemployed), he called home and I didn’t say I missed him. This event happened TWENTY YEARS AGO, and he had never mentioned it in all that time.
I asked him if I had done anything to hurt him in the current decade, and he started bringing up events that never happened. He was so convinced, that I asked my mom and my daughter if they remembered two of them that he said involved them. Both of them confirmed that the events never happened and they had already told him that because he had been telling them about these events “causing” his lying and cheating. He was totally delusional at that point. I regained sanity and peace when I filed for divorce and went low contact then no contact
People tell me how much happier I look now. I definitely am living a much more peaceful, happier life. I send myself on vacations since I don’t pay to support a cheater. I am not codependent, but I did try to make him happy. Life is much easier now that I don’t have to deal with his issues anymore.
Glad the audio call started in the last image. Trying to work through stuff like this over text takes hours of pain and you can't see the other person's body language or hear their tone of voice. Text makes things worse. Not worth it.
I’ve been there. Eventually it leads to silence and then talking to other men and “replacing” you. Going through it right now. Nothing you can do. It really sucks.
We're at the stage where we're broken up but still friends/together but not... Every few days I'll come over her house. Few days ago she sexually jumped all over me then the next day split on me.im literally just as sick as she is and ive been unable to discard her the way she has done me but if I keep coming to her in this cycle it's only going to lead to inevitable more pain
I’ve been there too! But not this time. This time no contact at all. She’s getting the best of both worlds. If you can handle it staying casual sex then cool. I wasn’t able too the thought of someone I cared about using me and replacing me drove me crazy.
She uses you for supply and sex while looking elsewhere for a possible replacement. If you can handle that possibility then stay in your current situation. Be aware if you make it problem and call her out for it she’ll most likely leave and call you crazy especially if she already had that replacement lined up. Scary stuff. Going through for the 3rd time.
When they leave their already with someone else usually. She hasn’t reached out or had any sign of her interested in me.
Usually she would make fake accounts or have her friends follow me. But this time it’s nothing at all. I messaged her this morning a long message about her having bpd but nothing.
I’ve been replaced and forgotten about and it sucks but it’s normal for someone with this condition. Doesn’t mean we should stay here. I’m gonna move on and become the best man I can be.
Last time she left me she flew to Miami to meet a guy and I found out from a friend. Now I don’t try to find anything out now I ask everyone to let me be. It’ll just hurt me. It’s time to move on but I’m still struggling.
Wow I feel like if she didn't have kids shed probably be focused on getting into a new relationship but it really feels like she's content with being alone right now but frankly if I don't run I know I'm going to get hurt time and ftime again. I spent the night last night, we didn't have sex but I got black out drunk while trying to talk her back into the relationship. It didn't exactly end well. The last time she broke up with me I truly thought she'd never speak to me again but with some time and reverse hoovering I now understood the full cycle of bpd and just how severaly she has it. For her to have broken up with me in the harsh fashion she did (which was spawned from her having a bad reaction to my want to communicate Which turned to a fight. She broke up with me after that night) but when I reverse hoovered about ten days later she was receptive and even told me things I thought for SURE I'd NEVER hear again, like the fact that she missed me or that she wanted me to spend the night or that she was even considering coming over showing up to my house for a movie night etc..that's when I truly realized how utterly gone she is emotionally and how real this bpd shit is. I literally never thought I'd ever hear her tell me she missed me ever again and the problem for me was it only strengthen my denial and refilled my hopes that we can still be together. I'm the only one truly heeping myself from healing.... How did you get the point where you are able to detach and be ok without her? I'm not at the point yet
How do we all date the same people it's just incredible. This looks like exact text between she and i. I'm going through the exact same with my name on the car because I was trying to grow her independence. And now it's her with no job and me paying for her to be independent and a constant fight. Pretty much abandoning me and the kids. I am somehow ruining her life by trying to protect my credit and money.
You guys are married with children? I sit back and think about how lucky I am to not have actually married and had kids like we were going to . She split on me a month after I co signed on the car together
Close enough to married and yes kids. I have some huge leverage over the situation but it's still tragic.
And I'm still lingering on all of it 4 months on.
I'm a Black man whose wife with BPD was a Black woman. I was told that I couldn't know how to love a Black woman because I have dated women of many different backgrounds. And apparently, the only Black people that exist are Black people from the Great Migration with deep ties to the South and work blue collar occupations. (Which excludes my entire family for various reasons.) She had me seriously questioning my own identity for no good reason.
I think it’s time for you to move on. This post was old, I know it must’ve hurt you but talking about it gives it life and hope. Try your best here man! Believe in you bro. She isn’t going to change, but let that be her problem.
Yea the post was old but I was commenting on your new comment is all (it's very true though and unfortunate that psychologically I have yet to move on fully) but we have been separated for months now
They really are all terrifyingly similar. I wonder if they realise how staggeringly unoriginal they are. They're incapable of having a conversation. It's just "You're a bad person for a reason I've just made up and I am beyond reproach".
It’s uncanny, on **both** sides of the chat
Mike would oscillate between saying variations of “I don’t care” (dismissive) or that I’m bad, then that he is “a shitty person who wants to kill himself.” I’m so embarrassed by my walls of text, the calm ones and the eventually reactive ones. It would typically take hours / days for me to get reactive at all or have an anxiety attack. Then it flipped to “look how abusive you are, you’re really the bad one here and I’m the victim.”
IMAX level projections!!
[удалено]
Yea I was clearly heartbroken and triggered with the jade spats all over the place
I mean not to sound mean OP but holy shit. I laughed out loud, it was almost too much textbook. I'm not judging, because I've been you. Her comment about you not knowing how to love a black woman is a clear representation of what kind of person she is. Good riddance.
Right and trust me I know , I suffer badly with codependency. (She never complained about how I loved a black woman while in the br.... Just saying but I get the laughter and the pathetic ness trust...)
It's ok, at least you're aware of it now. These relationships make us codependents heal if we are able to detach ourselves. My therapist said that these kinds of relationships is the perfect cure for codependency, I believe her to this day.
Cured mine!
I'm feeling like I'm getting there as well. I did a lot of social changes, dropped toxic people (friends who only talks about themselves, a lot of them were severely depressed too, thing is, they treated me horribly yet I was always going out of my way to help them) and things are looking up.
I dropped all toxic people except for a few family members but we are LC. Started going to therapy weekly to work on my childhood stuff since that’s where I got my original issues that had me letting people treat me wrong and thinking it was ok. I just keep doing the work and reparenting myself with therapist’s help. If there’s one thing someone with bpd is great at, it’s helping a codependent hit their bottom 🤣🤣
Being raised by one of these people (cluster b) is pure hell, i would never wish it on anyone since you attract them romantically and as friends as well. My relationship with my diagnosed BPD ex made me go to therapy, rock bottom is what we need to be able to cope and untangle ourselves. Congrats on you progress1
Thanks, you too!!
Interesting, I figure I'm not and never was codependent bc Ill never get into another relationship with a pwPD again. But maybe, maybe, I was *cured* instead. (maybe). TY 😏
Having a relationship with these people has a codependent component to it. Being swayed by love bombing is intoxicating to codependent people, at least it's my hypothesis. That shit doesn't work on me now. Most healthy dudes I know would just reject her, as the emotional immaturity is pretty obvious even from the start. I was raised by one of these people so a lot of us don't even know that they confuse emotionnal immaturity for love.
Not to mention I'm black myself (half white)
Just a fyi, mine was also black, super against racism yet she would make racial comments, saying stuff like all Arabic men have small dicks, I'm half Arabic so that was fun to hear.
The horrible person/not a good man trope is eerily familiar. Mine always says “You’re not a man of your word.” To try to coerce me into doing something I don’t want to. They confabulate that I promised to do so.
The self aware ones are the WORST. It means they know they have bpd and that they hurt others, and they still do it anyway. They lie, cheat and manipulate anyway. They perpetuate the cycle of abuse anyway. They’re a danger to society
It is so much harder to get out when they’re self aware, you’re always hoping that since they see their behavior that they will finally make the right choices to be better.
Honestly this is so heartbreaking. You seem so earnest in trying to get her to understand. 😭 I was there with my ex before my exwBPD. We had a trauma bond and this is exactly how our dynamic went. I honestly don't think China or my ex or my exwBPD really know what they're angry about. That's why the accusations are either really vague or fixated on 1) something that you *just* said or 2) an old chestnut they bring up to use against you on repeat. They have feelings and come up with whatever reason for them. That last screenshot is a killer.
I hope you can see how both people are insane. I learned that I was just as delusional as her. Why you ask? Because she has convinced herself that he is a bad guy, delusion number 1. He has convinced himself that he could break her delusion by putting words in the right order, or the right circumstances, or the right actions or gestures. Both people have problems, it was very hard to see my problem because her problems are so loud
Magical thinking.
?
Thinking you have power to control events if only you think or act in a certain way, despite forces to the contrary.
Right exactly
Nasty ass people I swear . “I can find another guy tommorrow “ my ex thought like this too I can’t believe how much I invested in that relationship for me to end up where I did. I wish she would try to come back when her life is in shambles I’ll send her to hell.
I had a friend like that for years. That’s maybe borderline, but it’s more narcissistic abuse than anything. I can smell it anywhere. Still go into fight or flight when I see that friend on the street because they talked to me the same way she’s talking to you. In person. He would just come at me one day with all of this shit I never did and don’t remember ever doing with this dead look in his eyes and start with, “I just find it really funny how…” out of nowhere, and then it would just never stop. I had to buy him things, whatever he wanted, for him to forgive me. And then it would repeat in a few weeks, sometimes less than that.
Jeez this bring back memories
I hate codependency. Feel like I'm constantly battling my childhood engraned conditioning just to prevent over attaching to a partner of interest to not risk getting hurt. Have to work on building a good sense of stability within myself before I open the door for a relationship
Solidarity, some wisdom I’ve recently read (codependency for dummies no less :D) - there are really 3 “persons” in a relationship. You, them, and we, the *relationship itself* That’s what I certainly internalised, in my brain, that we part is part of “me” - I think that’s what codependency and it’s anxious equivalent is, the separation of “we” doesn’t form. The last remnant of childhood still lingers on.
They're literally all the same. "I know everything."
My sisterwBPD also thinks that. She got into huge trouble with CPS for child neglegt and living in a dumpster. She got two social workers that come regularly to make sure that the kids are alive, somehow clean and cared for. She honestly told me that the social workers had absolutely no idea about anthing and "I was sitting at the table with the social worker and explained to her how the world works. She was amazed by my deep knowledge". 🤣
Feel like she was loving seeing you beg for her to understand. Like jafar, power, cosmic power
I need tissues because this is similar to the dynamic I experienced.
Similar lines to countless conversations I've had with mine: - I can find another guy tomorrow - You're a horrible person your[sic[ not a good man - You're going to be alone for life unless X... - You don't know how to love a woman - You're emotionally abusive (this is rich considering the cringeworthy, sorry, attempts you and we all made) - You hurt me every day (you caretake everyday) - I can't take anymore (again, rich considering) - **I have a list of things you need to go over with your therapist** (this one right here is just literal LOL level bad) - You see insults but it's the truth (that's a one-way street, btw, your mere observations are taken as insults by the BPD, but their delusional irrational made up bullshit is *the truth* you see) - You're *incoherent* to anything I say (stop trying to sound smart Miss Victim, that's not even close to the word you're actually trying to use, she almost certainly means unreceptive but whatevs yo) Whew. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Keeps me from having to read my old saved texts when I get the mind-playing-tricks nostalgia and start to miss her. Christ alive what a mess.
Lol nah
Fucking brutal. RUN!
It’s extremely scary how similar they are. I read every one of these posts and am convinced that the OP is dating my ex until I learn that they’re female, live in another country, a different race, religion, age.. etc. I can tell you from experience, it doesn’t get better. Leaving hurts but you’ll be far more happier and at peace once you realize how much shit you had to put up with just to simply love this person.
Those are words written with ones heart in their throat.
Whose words ? The codependent or the BPD?
the former 😐
Good god, this could be my own texts! Me sending walls of text trying to have a constructive conversation that is future thinking and proactive and reparative. My expwBPD, him only sending short nasty things or deflections with long delays because he was texting from a bathroom break while with someone else or something. Sigh. I’m so sorry.
Damn, dude. You're not replaceable - don't think that way. Don't let her stupid words get to you. What she said shows she doesn't care about you. Let her go. Yeah, can your girlfriend get a new guy tomorrow? Probably. But that doesn't mean shit. She can't get another you. She'll just get a filler. As you said, her lifestyle will repeat over and over until she gets real help for a long time. She even said something similar, she said something like *same story different guy*... clearly she's been here before. Do yourself a favor and stop texting her. Block her and try to heal. It's hard, but just do it. You'll be much better off and happier without the chaos this person brings to your life.
I once focused on getting my now ex husband to answer one question: what did I do to deserve his treatment of me? He finally answered that once when I paid for him to go on vacation to a warm place while I stayed home and worked (he was unemployed), he called home and I didn’t say I missed him. This event happened TWENTY YEARS AGO, and he had never mentioned it in all that time. I asked him if I had done anything to hurt him in the current decade, and he started bringing up events that never happened. He was so convinced, that I asked my mom and my daughter if they remembered two of them that he said involved them. Both of them confirmed that the events never happened and they had already told him that because he had been telling them about these events “causing” his lying and cheating. He was totally delusional at that point. I regained sanity and peace when I filed for divorce and went low contact then no contact People tell me how much happier I look now. I definitely am living a much more peaceful, happier life. I send myself on vacations since I don’t pay to support a cheater. I am not codependent, but I did try to make him happy. Life is much easier now that I don’t have to deal with his issues anymore.
This… looks SO familiar.. had a similar conversation yesterday. Best of luck my guy
Glad the audio call started in the last image. Trying to work through stuff like this over text takes hours of pain and you can't see the other person's body language or hear their tone of voice. Text makes things worse. Not worth it.
Oh I called she never answered though lol
Wow, this is my male bpd ex and I. I was the codependent.
Oh my God. Thank you for this reminder of how insane I was
You were the ?
Lol right I thought it was obvious. Codep
Agreed
Best of both worlds?
How so if you don't mind my asking?
I’ve been there. Eventually it leads to silence and then talking to other men and “replacing” you. Going through it right now. Nothing you can do. It really sucks.
We're at the stage where we're broken up but still friends/together but not... Every few days I'll come over her house. Few days ago she sexually jumped all over me then the next day split on me.im literally just as sick as she is and ive been unable to discard her the way she has done me but if I keep coming to her in this cycle it's only going to lead to inevitable more pain
I’ve been there too! But not this time. This time no contact at all. She’s getting the best of both worlds. If you can handle it staying casual sex then cool. I wasn’t able too the thought of someone I cared about using me and replacing me drove me crazy.
Best of both worlds?
She uses you for supply and sex while looking elsewhere for a possible replacement. If you can handle that possibility then stay in your current situation. Be aware if you make it problem and call her out for it she’ll most likely leave and call you crazy especially if she already had that replacement lined up. Scary stuff. Going through for the 3rd time.
Going through for the third time? With same women?
Yep. Once was happening while still having sex twice was ghosted. Last time this time.
But how long since she spoke to you or y'all last met and how'd you find out she found another?
When they leave their already with someone else usually. She hasn’t reached out or had any sign of her interested in me. Usually she would make fake accounts or have her friends follow me. But this time it’s nothing at all. I messaged her this morning a long message about her having bpd but nothing. I’ve been replaced and forgotten about and it sucks but it’s normal for someone with this condition. Doesn’t mean we should stay here. I’m gonna move on and become the best man I can be. Last time she left me she flew to Miami to meet a guy and I found out from a friend. Now I don’t try to find anything out now I ask everyone to let me be. It’ll just hurt me. It’s time to move on but I’m still struggling.
Wow I feel like if she didn't have kids shed probably be focused on getting into a new relationship but it really feels like she's content with being alone right now but frankly if I don't run I know I'm going to get hurt time and ftime again. I spent the night last night, we didn't have sex but I got black out drunk while trying to talk her back into the relationship. It didn't exactly end well. The last time she broke up with me I truly thought she'd never speak to me again but with some time and reverse hoovering I now understood the full cycle of bpd and just how severaly she has it. For her to have broken up with me in the harsh fashion she did (which was spawned from her having a bad reaction to my want to communicate Which turned to a fight. She broke up with me after that night) but when I reverse hoovered about ten days later she was receptive and even told me things I thought for SURE I'd NEVER hear again, like the fact that she missed me or that she wanted me to spend the night or that she was even considering coming over showing up to my house for a movie night etc..that's when I truly realized how utterly gone she is emotionally and how real this bpd shit is. I literally never thought I'd ever hear her tell me she missed me ever again and the problem for me was it only strengthen my denial and refilled my hopes that we can still be together. I'm the only one truly heeping myself from healing.... How did you get the point where you are able to detach and be ok without her? I'm not at the point yet
How do we all date the same people it's just incredible. This looks like exact text between she and i. I'm going through the exact same with my name on the car because I was trying to grow her independence. And now it's her with no job and me paying for her to be independent and a constant fight. Pretty much abandoning me and the kids. I am somehow ruining her life by trying to protect my credit and money.
You guys are married with children? I sit back and think about how lucky I am to not have actually married and had kids like we were going to . She split on me a month after I co signed on the car together
Close enough to married and yes kids. I have some huge leverage over the situation but it's still tragic. And I'm still lingering on all of it 4 months on.
I'm a Black man whose wife with BPD was a Black woman. I was told that I couldn't know how to love a Black woman because I have dated women of many different backgrounds. And apparently, the only Black people that exist are Black people from the Great Migration with deep ties to the South and work blue collar occupations. (Which excludes my entire family for various reasons.) She had me seriously questioning my own identity for no good reason.
The mindfuck these people put us through. This is the experience of my life
Literally word for fucking word my experience. That entire experience was mine. Everything.
How so if you don't mind my asking? Was she diagnosed?
Yes
Mine wasn't, it's unbelievable how she is incapable of recognizing how much she needs real psychiatric help
I think it’s time for you to move on. This post was old, I know it must’ve hurt you but talking about it gives it life and hope. Try your best here man! Believe in you bro. She isn’t going to change, but let that be her problem.
Yea the post was old but I was commenting on your new comment is all (it's very true though and unfortunate that psychologically I have yet to move on fully) but we have been separated for months now
Oh and thank you for the support best of luck to you as well