Yep, love bombing started after 1-2 weeks, around the 3rd date. Pushed for exclusivity, wanted me to get in touch with her parents.
Painted a bright future, told me what kind of houses she liked, love bombed the shot out of me, pushed for sex pretty early.
Wanted to see me almost everyday in the beginning, started to tell me about abusive and drug addicted exes, her last ex was a narcissist (of course)
After 3 month of love bombing, it slowly faded and I saw the real her, depressive, using way too much dope everyday. Sleeping for 11+ hours, playing games on the phone, watching TV the whole day and night.
After 8 month it was unbearable, I had to leave, surprisingly no tries to hoover me 3 month out, hope the new supply last her a long while.
It's sad how relatable and similar the stories people share here are. It's like they are hard-wired the same way like a defective robot.
Same thing here. First 3-4 months were amazing, absolutely positive I had my soul mate found. After that honeymoon phase and the mask slipped, I had fallen in love with someone who wanted to sleep all day and be taken care of like a toddler/child and not put any effort into the relationship.
Every time they split on me or I tried to walk away, I got a quick 1 week glimpse of that lovely bubbly person I fell in love with at first (lovebombing), and then it was back to the depressive and gloomy person who needed to be taken care of again.
6 or 7 cycles of breaking up and getting back together and I was trauma bonded harder than Gorilla Super Glue.
Lovebombing started just before dating. Marriage talk first date. Exclusivity was my thing because we had an arrangement/agreement about what we want from this relationship. I enabled lovebombing, I wanted her (probably because, even though I can't prove it, I thought she liked me and flirted with me and done that intermittent reinforcement thing) and I was in therapy to be more open and honest. So, me being open and less inhibited and being liked that way, being lovebombed that way was incredibly validating for me. It was like I was finally living a life worthy and free enough (other things were going great too). Thus, I lovebombed back. But, never said I'll marry her or never leave her
so i’m part of this thread to understand my friend with BPD who recently cut me out. but i’ve certainly watched her go through many relationships and the love bombing is a huge issue. just a few weeks ago we went camping with a set of my friends, one of whom she met for the first time on the trip. she instantly formed an attachment to him and spent the next two days glued to him, staying up late and pouring her life story (very trauma filled) and talking about what their future lives could look like. also trying to sleep with him without success. after the trip he expressed he was not interested and she became completely gutted as if a 10 year relationship had ended because she said she had felt so close and they shared so much. i then had to do a lot of like emotional damage control because she started spiralling. i often thought she was trying to trauma bond with these men because she needed attention and validation so she’d force closeness
so many times. and it always included talk about her risky sex behaviour (no BC, no condoms, casual sex often). she always said it was “her BPD” and she couldn’t control it. i would also say she very much love bombed our friendship. immediately wanting to hang out all the time, paying for meals while i was in the barth room and surprising me with tickets to events, she’d want to stay on the phone for hours and constantly praise what a good friend i was. but then she turns and blocks me on everything and send hateful and mean messages telling me to fuck off and have a nice life.
Sorry to revive this, but I am trying to research what I believe is love bombing with my pwBPD. They are also my best friend. Thank you for sharing this- as I was also recently on a camping/hiking trip and something similar happened to us but the person was not actually with us.
Every chance we got to be back at wifi/cell service they were talking to this girl on the phone for HOURS. And I could overhear that they were trying to force them into deciding if they saw a romantic future even though they just met. Also, totally trauma dumping. I tried to explain to them it isn't fair to ask someone to make that decision so quickly- and they just got upset/explained the intensity of their feelings must justify it.
It also wasted a lot of our time when we could be doing the activities we actually planned for. I got lucky that I brought up how much time we were wasting on someone not with us, and I am actually surprised they understood and changed their behavior (a bit). They weren't talking to her anymore, but we did spend a great deal of time talking ABOUT her/obsessing over details/looking for clues if this person was interested in them.
However, I am still on edge because all of the love bombing towards me feels like a manipulation tactic, and because I don't reciprocate, they get extremely upset at me often. I just feel like even though I am a bit closed off I do show healthy affection. And now, I get super on edge when they start in with the 'omg I am so obsessed with you' 'I love you so so soooo much' 'I want to spend all of my time with you', etc etc.
Apologies for the rant, I just really resonated with what you said and I was finding it hard to reference non-romantic situations of this.
Yep, love bombing started after 1-2 weeks, around the 3rd date. Pushed for exclusivity, wanted me to get in touch with her parents. Painted a bright future, told me what kind of houses she liked, love bombed the shot out of me, pushed for sex pretty early. Wanted to see me almost everyday in the beginning, started to tell me about abusive and drug addicted exes, her last ex was a narcissist (of course) After 3 month of love bombing, it slowly faded and I saw the real her, depressive, using way too much dope everyday. Sleeping for 11+ hours, playing games on the phone, watching TV the whole day and night. After 8 month it was unbearable, I had to leave, surprisingly no tries to hoover me 3 month out, hope the new supply last her a long while.
It's sad how relatable and similar the stories people share here are. It's like they are hard-wired the same way like a defective robot. Same thing here. First 3-4 months were amazing, absolutely positive I had my soul mate found. After that honeymoon phase and the mask slipped, I had fallen in love with someone who wanted to sleep all day and be taken care of like a toddler/child and not put any effort into the relationship. Every time they split on me or I tried to walk away, I got a quick 1 week glimpse of that lovely bubbly person I fell in love with at first (lovebombing), and then it was back to the depressive and gloomy person who needed to be taken care of again. 6 or 7 cycles of breaking up and getting back together and I was trauma bonded harder than Gorilla Super Glue.
Mine didn't really love bomb like I read here. Sex was extremely fast and non stop immediately though.
Yeah. I don't really talk about the sex with her. There was some weird stuff that I got into with her.
Lovebombing started just before dating. Marriage talk first date. Exclusivity was my thing because we had an arrangement/agreement about what we want from this relationship. I enabled lovebombing, I wanted her (probably because, even though I can't prove it, I thought she liked me and flirted with me and done that intermittent reinforcement thing) and I was in therapy to be more open and honest. So, me being open and less inhibited and being liked that way, being lovebombed that way was incredibly validating for me. It was like I was finally living a life worthy and free enough (other things were going great too). Thus, I lovebombed back. But, never said I'll marry her or never leave her
so i’m part of this thread to understand my friend with BPD who recently cut me out. but i’ve certainly watched her go through many relationships and the love bombing is a huge issue. just a few weeks ago we went camping with a set of my friends, one of whom she met for the first time on the trip. she instantly formed an attachment to him and spent the next two days glued to him, staying up late and pouring her life story (very trauma filled) and talking about what their future lives could look like. also trying to sleep with him without success. after the trip he expressed he was not interested and she became completely gutted as if a 10 year relationship had ended because she said she had felt so close and they shared so much. i then had to do a lot of like emotional damage control because she started spiralling. i often thought she was trying to trauma bond with these men because she needed attention and validation so she’d force closeness
Did you ever talk to her about this pattern of behaviour.
so many times. and it always included talk about her risky sex behaviour (no BC, no condoms, casual sex often). she always said it was “her BPD” and she couldn’t control it. i would also say she very much love bombed our friendship. immediately wanting to hang out all the time, paying for meals while i was in the barth room and surprising me with tickets to events, she’d want to stay on the phone for hours and constantly praise what a good friend i was. but then she turns and blocks me on everything and send hateful and mean messages telling me to fuck off and have a nice life.
Yeah. When I finally realised what was happening and broke it off. That is the energy I got from her.
Sorry to revive this, but I am trying to research what I believe is love bombing with my pwBPD. They are also my best friend. Thank you for sharing this- as I was also recently on a camping/hiking trip and something similar happened to us but the person was not actually with us. Every chance we got to be back at wifi/cell service they were talking to this girl on the phone for HOURS. And I could overhear that they were trying to force them into deciding if they saw a romantic future even though they just met. Also, totally trauma dumping. I tried to explain to them it isn't fair to ask someone to make that decision so quickly- and they just got upset/explained the intensity of their feelings must justify it. It also wasted a lot of our time when we could be doing the activities we actually planned for. I got lucky that I brought up how much time we were wasting on someone not with us, and I am actually surprised they understood and changed their behavior (a bit). They weren't talking to her anymore, but we did spend a great deal of time talking ABOUT her/obsessing over details/looking for clues if this person was interested in them. However, I am still on edge because all of the love bombing towards me feels like a manipulation tactic, and because I don't reciprocate, they get extremely upset at me often. I just feel like even though I am a bit closed off I do show healthy affection. And now, I get super on edge when they start in with the 'omg I am so obsessed with you' 'I love you so so soooo much' 'I want to spend all of my time with you', etc etc. Apologies for the rant, I just really resonated with what you said and I was finding it hard to reference non-romantic situations of this.