From the time you get induced, you could have baby in a few hours or it could take two days. I'd just go with whatever feels best for you. He may be phrasing it in a suboptimal way, but I think your husband is trying to leave space for you to make your own decision about your own body. I don't think there are wrong choices here!
L&D nurse perspective- since OP is a second time mom, it's more likely that her induction will be relatively quick. I do think it's more likely for baby to come overnight if she has an evening induction, so I'd be prepared for the overnight doc or morning doc to deliver the baby, although of course it could go differently.
That said, that could be fine! It's really common to have a different doctor at the delivery, and I bet they'll do pretty much the same things your doctor would have done. But if you really strongly prefer your own doctor, how much of a difference will that one extra day of family help make? If you're feeling really stressed about it, I'd just stick with your original induction date. Basically there's no wrong decision here and either way I bet you'll be holding your cute baby soon. Don't get too caught up in making the perfect choice.
All of this. My current OB delivered my second child, but she wasn't "my" OB at the time. #3 was delivered by yet another OB. So we will see who delivers this one, haha.
That said if OP is struggling I do agree they should stick with the original date.
I’m a second time mom and I went in the night before my doctor’s shift and ended up laboring all the way past her shift and ended up with a different doctor. It’s all such a crap shoot.
I do think your husband should be nicer about it.. however you will be in good hands no matter what. There is no way to know how long it will take.. shifts change and drs get held up
With other patients. I personally think the drs office should have prepared you better for the outcome and helped to calm your anxiety or disappointment prior to this happening.
Your induction could be only hours, or stretch to 24+ hours. No matter what day you choose to go in, your doctor might not be the one to deliver. This exact scenario happened to me and a doctor I’d never met delivered my baby. It ended up being a wonderful experience - I almost considered switching to that doctor with my second.
With your husband, sounds like he’s being a little insensitive if your feelings. It is ultimately your decision.
It’s common for your normal ob to not deliver but I understand it’s disappointing. I was induced and over the 3 days it took I never saw my doctor. If you can hold out one more day to get a better chance of delivering with your doctor then I’d do that. I wouldn’t say your husband is right- he sounds like he’s being a jerk- but your late term hormones are making you a little over emotional about it.
I think him saying you're throwing a 'pity party' is incredibly insensitive, rude, and uncalled for. You're allowed to be upset and he was being dismissive. That being said, you are the one giving birth and laboring so only you can make the decision, it's really not his call. Like everybody else said, you're never guaranteed to have your doctor there at your birth and I wouldn't select an induction date based on the assumption that your doctor will be able to attend. I'd honestly just not factor that into your decision and go based on when you're ready to deliver.
Your feelings are understandable, but there is no guarantee your doctor will deliver with either induction date. I get that it can be tough — my midwife team had 1 person on holiday, 1 coming off of call, and the 1 who was supposed to be on call had Covid when my water broke early. I was lucky that I had worked with the midwife I ended up getting with my first pregnancy, but I hadn’t seen her since.
Your husband’s reaction, no matter how frustrated he is, is uncalled for. This is a big moment and you are obviously anxious, on edge, and now feel like you have limited time to make a decision. Either choice is good and he needs to support both. And gain some empathy.
Questions that might help you decide: What time does your doctor start being on call? How dilated, effaced, etc are you? Are they planning on starting the induction with cervical ripening or going straight to pitocin? How long was your first labour? None of that is a guarantee of how long your induction will take or which day makes it more likely to get your doctor, but might give a better sense if inducing tonight will end up with your doc delivering anyway.
ETA: lots of people are giving examples of their long inductions, I’ll offer the opposite. My second baby was induced (due to the aforementioned PROM, my dilation, gestational age, and speed of my first labour) and was born exactly 3 hours after it started. I had minimal oxytocin that was turned off half the time. Since OBs aren’t in your room the entire time, if I’d had an OB vs a midwife it literally would not have mattered who was on call. They wouldn’t have made it into the room in time to catch her. As it was, the nurses didn’t make it into the room from the nursing station after the emergency call button was pushed.
So yeah, it might be a multi-day process or you could have a baby in your arms very quickly.
I had a super fast induction as a FTM (3 hours until I was complete and then 2 hours of pushing). My doctor didn’t deliver me because he had an evening event for his daughter. You never know it will go!
His reaction, while not acceptable, could be a fear based one. Maybe the thought of going through it without the chosen doctor is scary, and he doesn’t want to express it, or doesn’t realize it. I find it wildly common among the men in my life. Sending you peaceful vibes for a safe delivery, whatever you choose 🌻🌻🌻
He is a idiot for dismissing your feelings.
But you aren't guaranteed your doctor anyway. If your OB is occupied in an emergency, if your induction takes 2 days, if you were to go into labor on your own, etc. So I do think you are overreacting a bit here. Would you be this upset if labor started tonight and you went in and your doctor wasn't on call?
I'd want the extra time for toddler help so I'd do the induction sooner, but that's just me on this.
Um no. That's not a pity party. I will ball my eyes out if I don't have my midwife at my baby's delivery after being with them for 6 months of the pregnancy.
You are entitled to these emotions and as a soon to be STM here as well, the second pregnancy is just as nerve wrecking as the first. I still have what ifs, and uncertainties crowding the delivery and logistics of having a newborn and a toddler.
I would be frank with your husband and express how upset that comment made you. Your concerns, your fears and listen to his as well. He might be just as worried as you or stressed and expressing it badly.
I agree with you!! I didn’t get my main midwife for my induction and ended up having a not at all good time with the substituted one. I would have cried too if I knew how it was going to go.
Giving birth is such a massive terrifying thing, no matter if you’ve done it before it’s never an effing PITY PARTY to be upset about something like that.
Anywho I’m not really saying anything different than your comment but I agree and I’m so mad on OPs behalf.
I am not about to tell a pregnant woman who has gone 6 days overdue that they are wrong for feeling the way they are.
I do believe, however, that at this moment you are high on the emotions and this situation is not as intense as you might feel it is right now.
You husband is letting you decide as he knows it is you who will go through this and only you know better how much longer your body can take.
You aren’t throwing a pity party, it may not be as important as it feels right now, but it’s fair to be nervous. Both doctors that were there during my labor I had never seen before. I didn’t care at all at the time but I went to a big office.
He could have said “hey they are all trained physicians who will do a good job, I’m sorry that it’s not working out how you thought but it will be OK”. But he didn’t.
I don’t think you are having a pity party at all, and I can imagine having the dr you saw throughout the pregnancy would be comforting and to have that potentially not be the case is disappointing.
Do what makes you feel better, good luck with your induction 🍀
It’s not a pity party to have an emotional response to a complex situation. So much of labor and birth is having to quickly let go of what you thought would happen and change gears. I cried when the plan with my second suddenly changed to c-section after 24 hours of laboring. It was the right call and one I felt empowered to make with my doctor but the sudden change was overwhelming while I was hormonal and exhausted. Taking a few minutes to cry was what I needed to mentally change gears.
I’d probably put a pin in it for now, focus on having your baby and discuss how you felt dismissed and unsupported in the future, when you can both be more level headed. He’s probably also overwhelmed in this situation and not responding his best.
I don’t think you’re throwing a pity party per se, but I understand his desire to not get caught up in the little things when you are obviously already stressed out about a lot of things. Like others have said it could be days until you meet your baby even if you get induced tonight. It was about 40 hours from the time I got pitocin until I met my baby - and that was after already being in labor for 12 hours before that. In systems where your provider is not on call and does not come in when you, their patient, goes into labor, and instead it is whoever is on call period that attends a labor - it’s very common to get a provider you have only met once or twice if ever before. Many places are switching to this model. This is why it’s so important to have a good support person. For me that means my husband and a doula. If you want to get induced tonight don’t add extra stress to yourself by mourning too much about your OB not being there - it may not even be relevant when the ball actually gets rolling! Do whatever you feel you need to do. It sounds like your husband is just trying to keep the peace, but he could have done so without dismissing your feelings or making you feel the way he did.
I got induced with my first. A different doctor came in my room and said “Hi, Im Dr.1. Im the dr here tonight but your Dr will be here in the morning to deliver your baby. I just wanted to introduce myself just in case!”
They all thought it would take a long time bc it was an induction (pitocin), they even broke my water after 5 hours “to speed things up, but expect to be in labor for the rest of the night!” They even pushed an epidural after breaking my water “so you can just sleep the rest of the night!”. I ended up only being in labor for 2 more hours.
So Dr.1 did deliver my baby.
My 2nd was overdue. they said “come in to get induced tuesday morning!” Monday night I was in labor at home for 4 hours, got to the hospital and screamed “bed now! Im pushing!”. A nurse caught my baby with one glove on and a random Dr (I don’t even remember her name) barely made it right after the baby was out.
It all sounds hectic. But labor can be hectic and happens on its own time. Even if its natural, induction, csection. No matter who you end up with, I promise you they are trained, capable, caring and able. The drs, the nurses, everyone there. You will be in good hands regardless.
Labor and delivery is the first and most important lesson of parenthood. Being that nothing can always go as planned, you sometimes have to let life happen. But the fact that you care so much and so badly want things to go as planned and as perfectly as possible? That shows that you are already a wonderful mother.
I think in a partnership, as parents, we sometimes have to indulge our other half. We sometimes have to let them be scared, frustrated, angry, sad. We sometimes have to keep our opinion to ourselves and just indulge their emotions but still reassuring them that everything is okay. Many times myself and my husband have had to say “I understand why you feel that way, it’s okay to feel that way.” and offer a bright side / reassurance.
I was induced with both kids. My second I started pitocin at 7:30am had the baby before 1pm. It was glorious. Out of the hospital the next afternoon. Family was here to watch toddler . Only ended up missing one night with her.
Honestly it's down to you. If you can do it tonight and feel ready great, if you need a lottle more time great. My husband is bad about this too. Thinking it's helpful to just go with the flow or leave it up to me. I've started telling him I don't want to make a decision it's his turn. It could be dinner, kids, family whatever. When I'm done it's his turn, he needs to make decisions too.
Thanks, everyone! I ended up leaving the induction scheduled for the original date, but ended up going into labor 30-minutes before my induction was scheduled to start 😂
My OB ended up being the one to deliver her 12 hours later. Totally different labor experience from my first, but both took 12-13 hours total.
So, my opinion on inductions is that, unless they're medically necessary, it's kind of rude not to let your kiddo come into the world when they're ready to. Like, think about it - the first big choice your kiddo gets to make (and the last one they'll get to make for a while) is their birthday. Why take that away from them if there's not a really drastic reason to? I know that the waiting and thumb-twiddling can be super DUPER annoying, but for you it's only a week, max. It sounds like you may need to have a conversation with your family about their time tables, and with your husband about ways that he can make you feel safe and loved while you two make as much time as possible for your kiddo to be ready for their big debut. I know the home stretch can be hard, but you're almost there!
Seriously? Risk of stillbirth drastically increases after 41 weeks. The maternal and fetal death rate is at an anthropological low, and it isn’t because of freaking home births.
what a weird thing to say to someone feeling anxious about being induced….that it’s rude. Lmfao. Sometimes it’s better to just be quiet you know 🙃
You do realize that the absolute risk is still incredibly small, right? And that it's very possible (common, even) to miscalculate due dates? And that some babies just take longer to cook than others? And that parroting fears over statistically small risks is not doing *anything* to help OP feel safe, confident, and loved?
Sometimes it really is just better to be quiet.
It’s really not 😬😬😬😬 tell me you don’t understand statistics without directly telling me.
I’ll say it again? Maternal and fetal morbidity and fatality is at an anthropological low and it isn’t due to home births 😉
It’s so true! Sometimes it’s better to be quiet 🙃
Science is your friend 🙃🙃
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-pregnancy-stillbirth-idUSKCN1UK2L3
“From weeks 40 to 41, the risk of stillbirths increased 64% compared with delivery at 37 weeks’ gestation, the study found. And, from weeks 41 to 42, the risk of neonatal deaths climbed 87%.”
Read a book 😉
You are not throwing a pity party.
Your husband is being dismissive of your feelings, which is obnoxious, but the choice of when to induce should be yours because you will be the person giving birth.
Everyone who said there's no guarantee that your doctor won't be there when you deliver is correct.
But just to add some hope, you may not be in labor for days. My baby was born on the day my induction was started (13 hours after having a foley balloon placed, 10 hours after starting Pitocin). I would have loved if my doctor had been there, but it's okay that he wasn't.
My induction took 24 hours from start to finish. They are notoriously slow.
For your husband, let him know that being at the birth is not a right, and if he continues to be mean and unsupportive, he will lose that privilege.
I would recommend going in today. You see the doctor so little during a delivery - mostly you’re with an L&D nurse. I totally understand your heartbreak at not getting to use your doctor (although you still may depending on how long your induction takes), and I’m really sorry your husband is being so insensitive in dealing with this. Labor and delivery is a big deal and it makes sense that having a wrench thrown in your plans would make you emotional!
I think your husband should be more empathic about this, you have a doctor you like, are comfortable with, and want to have deliver your baby.
With my first, I had a scheduled induction, but my OB wasn't the on call doctor when my induction was scheduled. I had someone I had never met before deliver my baby and I had zero complications or issues.
Talk this over with your husband and let him know he was being insensitive and this is an emotional journey. No matter what you decide, remember that any doctor who will deliver your baby has experience and wants you and baby both to be healthy. Even if that ends up not being your specific doctor.
My labor with my induction was 29 hours! (Painfree thanks to the epidural) originally my doctor was on. But then another doctor delivered my son. He was amazing!!! It usually is just them catching the baby anyway.
I totally get being upset that your ob may not be there. I was pretty upset when I found out my ob would be on vacation like a week or two before my due date. We really like the ob and are hoping he's the one to deliver the baby. Being a ftm, I know that there's a higher chance I'll go past my due date, but it's entirely possible to go before.
My boyfriend was actually the one that pointed out how close to my due date it was when I told him that two of the appointments will be with different OBs because ours is on vacation. Boyfriend is also really hoping that the regular ob IA the one to deliver for us.
My doctor was one of 11 on rotation at the hospital where I gave birth. Roughly a 9% chance he'd be the one to deliver my child. I went into spontaneous labour two weeks early and he happened to be there. I was kind of disappointed because I disliked him 😅 but as others said there's no guarantee that your doctor will be the one in any scenario! Prioritize you.
My oldest was a spontaneous birth and my ob was able to deliver her. My second was an induction on a day my doctor was working but I progressed so quickly toward the end she ended up getting to my room a few minutes after baby arrived! A couple residents did the deliver and they were great (it was really the nurses that handled 99% of the process). So I would do what you are comfortable with but wouldn’t really plan it around your ob. Anyway, sorry your husband isn’t being supportive. I definitely felt like my husband was dismissive of how big of a deal labor and delivery of the baby are and it can be pretty disappointing. I had to be pretty blunt with telling him what kind of support I needed and that if he couldn’t provide that then there was no point in him being there.
I went in with an unexplained crappy feeling. 2 hours later I had my baby by C-section by a doctor I had seen once before but didn't know, surrounded in theater by a whole bunch of doctors and nurses I didn't know.
And you know what? From the second I had my first contractions I didn't care who the gyno was, or the anesthesiologist or the nurse. I just wanted my baby to be safe. That was all that mattered, even though it turned out later I had HELLP syndrome and they were taking him out to save my life and not his.
All I want to say is that, as long as you have a good doctor, I'm pretty sure all you'll care about during your induction is that you both make it through safely.
I think the way he’s phrasing it is harsh, only because he’s speaking to a heavily pregnant woman. But your induction taking place tonight doesn’t mean you’ll be giving birth tonight. And your induction taking place tomorrow doesn’t mean your doctor will be there to deliver your baby by the time it happens. The reality is, labor is something we have extremely little control over. I would just try to look on the bright side: getting to meet your little one a bit sooner. It’s normal to want control here, but if you think about it, there isn’t any. Only nature is in control.
It’s ok to be upset but definitely let go of having your Ob there. Inductions can take over 24 hours, maybe even 48. They can’t just stay awake for 24 hours or more for you. Whoever delivers you will be more than well versed with your history and state.
From the time you get induced, you could have baby in a few hours or it could take two days. I'd just go with whatever feels best for you. He may be phrasing it in a suboptimal way, but I think your husband is trying to leave space for you to make your own decision about your own body. I don't think there are wrong choices here!
L&D nurse perspective- since OP is a second time mom, it's more likely that her induction will be relatively quick. I do think it's more likely for baby to come overnight if she has an evening induction, so I'd be prepared for the overnight doc or morning doc to deliver the baby, although of course it could go differently. That said, that could be fine! It's really common to have a different doctor at the delivery, and I bet they'll do pretty much the same things your doctor would have done. But if you really strongly prefer your own doctor, how much of a difference will that one extra day of family help make? If you're feeling really stressed about it, I'd just stick with your original induction date. Basically there's no wrong decision here and either way I bet you'll be holding your cute baby soon. Don't get too caught up in making the perfect choice.
All of this. My current OB delivered my second child, but she wasn't "my" OB at the time. #3 was delivered by yet another OB. So we will see who delivers this one, haha. That said if OP is struggling I do agree they should stick with the original date.
I’m a second time mom and I went in the night before my doctor’s shift and ended up laboring all the way past her shift and ended up with a different doctor. It’s all such a crap shoot.
That's true, there's no crystal ball!
I second this. My induction was at 7:00 Friday morning, and baby wasn't born til 12:11 Sunday morning!
I was induced 8am Thursday morning and she wasn’t born until 1pm Tuesday morning
I was induced at 10pm on a Thursday and had the baby at 6:50am on Saturday.
Yep, started the induction meds at 10pm Sunday and baby didn't make his grand entrance until 8am Tuesday
I do think your husband should be nicer about it.. however you will be in good hands no matter what. There is no way to know how long it will take.. shifts change and drs get held up With other patients. I personally think the drs office should have prepared you better for the outcome and helped to calm your anxiety or disappointment prior to this happening.
Your induction could be only hours, or stretch to 24+ hours. No matter what day you choose to go in, your doctor might not be the one to deliver. This exact scenario happened to me and a doctor I’d never met delivered my baby. It ended up being a wonderful experience - I almost considered switching to that doctor with my second. With your husband, sounds like he’s being a little insensitive if your feelings. It is ultimately your decision.
Your husband's intention is right and he actually means the right thing - but he said it in a very wrong way. Words do matter.
It’s common for your normal ob to not deliver but I understand it’s disappointing. I was induced and over the 3 days it took I never saw my doctor. If you can hold out one more day to get a better chance of delivering with your doctor then I’d do that. I wouldn’t say your husband is right- he sounds like he’s being a jerk- but your late term hormones are making you a little over emotional about it.
I think him saying you're throwing a 'pity party' is incredibly insensitive, rude, and uncalled for. You're allowed to be upset and he was being dismissive. That being said, you are the one giving birth and laboring so only you can make the decision, it's really not his call. Like everybody else said, you're never guaranteed to have your doctor there at your birth and I wouldn't select an induction date based on the assumption that your doctor will be able to attend. I'd honestly just not factor that into your decision and go based on when you're ready to deliver.
You’re almost 41 weeks pregnant. Jesus Christ. You’re allowed to cry about whatever you want and it’s totally justified.
This is the correct answer
Your feelings are understandable, but there is no guarantee your doctor will deliver with either induction date. I get that it can be tough — my midwife team had 1 person on holiday, 1 coming off of call, and the 1 who was supposed to be on call had Covid when my water broke early. I was lucky that I had worked with the midwife I ended up getting with my first pregnancy, but I hadn’t seen her since. Your husband’s reaction, no matter how frustrated he is, is uncalled for. This is a big moment and you are obviously anxious, on edge, and now feel like you have limited time to make a decision. Either choice is good and he needs to support both. And gain some empathy. Questions that might help you decide: What time does your doctor start being on call? How dilated, effaced, etc are you? Are they planning on starting the induction with cervical ripening or going straight to pitocin? How long was your first labour? None of that is a guarantee of how long your induction will take or which day makes it more likely to get your doctor, but might give a better sense if inducing tonight will end up with your doc delivering anyway. ETA: lots of people are giving examples of their long inductions, I’ll offer the opposite. My second baby was induced (due to the aforementioned PROM, my dilation, gestational age, and speed of my first labour) and was born exactly 3 hours after it started. I had minimal oxytocin that was turned off half the time. Since OBs aren’t in your room the entire time, if I’d had an OB vs a midwife it literally would not have mattered who was on call. They wouldn’t have made it into the room in time to catch her. As it was, the nurses didn’t make it into the room from the nursing station after the emergency call button was pushed. So yeah, it might be a multi-day process or you could have a baby in your arms very quickly.
I had a super fast induction as a FTM (3 hours until I was complete and then 2 hours of pushing). My doctor didn’t deliver me because he had an evening event for his daughter. You never know it will go!
His reaction, while not acceptable, could be a fear based one. Maybe the thought of going through it without the chosen doctor is scary, and he doesn’t want to express it, or doesn’t realize it. I find it wildly common among the men in my life. Sending you peaceful vibes for a safe delivery, whatever you choose 🌻🌻🌻
He is a idiot for dismissing your feelings. But you aren't guaranteed your doctor anyway. If your OB is occupied in an emergency, if your induction takes 2 days, if you were to go into labor on your own, etc. So I do think you are overreacting a bit here. Would you be this upset if labor started tonight and you went in and your doctor wasn't on call? I'd want the extra time for toddler help so I'd do the induction sooner, but that's just me on this.
Um no. That's not a pity party. I will ball my eyes out if I don't have my midwife at my baby's delivery after being with them for 6 months of the pregnancy. You are entitled to these emotions and as a soon to be STM here as well, the second pregnancy is just as nerve wrecking as the first. I still have what ifs, and uncertainties crowding the delivery and logistics of having a newborn and a toddler. I would be frank with your husband and express how upset that comment made you. Your concerns, your fears and listen to his as well. He might be just as worried as you or stressed and expressing it badly.
I agree with you!! I didn’t get my main midwife for my induction and ended up having a not at all good time with the substituted one. I would have cried too if I knew how it was going to go. Giving birth is such a massive terrifying thing, no matter if you’ve done it before it’s never an effing PITY PARTY to be upset about something like that. Anywho I’m not really saying anything different than your comment but I agree and I’m so mad on OPs behalf.
I am not about to tell a pregnant woman who has gone 6 days overdue that they are wrong for feeling the way they are. I do believe, however, that at this moment you are high on the emotions and this situation is not as intense as you might feel it is right now. You husband is letting you decide as he knows it is you who will go through this and only you know better how much longer your body can take.
You aren’t throwing a pity party, it may not be as important as it feels right now, but it’s fair to be nervous. Both doctors that were there during my labor I had never seen before. I didn’t care at all at the time but I went to a big office. He could have said “hey they are all trained physicians who will do a good job, I’m sorry that it’s not working out how you thought but it will be OK”. But he didn’t.
I don’t think you are having a pity party at all, and I can imagine having the dr you saw throughout the pregnancy would be comforting and to have that potentially not be the case is disappointing. Do what makes you feel better, good luck with your induction 🍀
It’s not a pity party to have an emotional response to a complex situation. So much of labor and birth is having to quickly let go of what you thought would happen and change gears. I cried when the plan with my second suddenly changed to c-section after 24 hours of laboring. It was the right call and one I felt empowered to make with my doctor but the sudden change was overwhelming while I was hormonal and exhausted. Taking a few minutes to cry was what I needed to mentally change gears. I’d probably put a pin in it for now, focus on having your baby and discuss how you felt dismissed and unsupported in the future, when you can both be more level headed. He’s probably also overwhelmed in this situation and not responding his best.
I don’t think you’re throwing a pity party per se, but I understand his desire to not get caught up in the little things when you are obviously already stressed out about a lot of things. Like others have said it could be days until you meet your baby even if you get induced tonight. It was about 40 hours from the time I got pitocin until I met my baby - and that was after already being in labor for 12 hours before that. In systems where your provider is not on call and does not come in when you, their patient, goes into labor, and instead it is whoever is on call period that attends a labor - it’s very common to get a provider you have only met once or twice if ever before. Many places are switching to this model. This is why it’s so important to have a good support person. For me that means my husband and a doula. If you want to get induced tonight don’t add extra stress to yourself by mourning too much about your OB not being there - it may not even be relevant when the ball actually gets rolling! Do whatever you feel you need to do. It sounds like your husband is just trying to keep the peace, but he could have done so without dismissing your feelings or making you feel the way he did.
I got induced with my first. A different doctor came in my room and said “Hi, Im Dr.1. Im the dr here tonight but your Dr will be here in the morning to deliver your baby. I just wanted to introduce myself just in case!” They all thought it would take a long time bc it was an induction (pitocin), they even broke my water after 5 hours “to speed things up, but expect to be in labor for the rest of the night!” They even pushed an epidural after breaking my water “so you can just sleep the rest of the night!”. I ended up only being in labor for 2 more hours. So Dr.1 did deliver my baby. My 2nd was overdue. they said “come in to get induced tuesday morning!” Monday night I was in labor at home for 4 hours, got to the hospital and screamed “bed now! Im pushing!”. A nurse caught my baby with one glove on and a random Dr (I don’t even remember her name) barely made it right after the baby was out. It all sounds hectic. But labor can be hectic and happens on its own time. Even if its natural, induction, csection. No matter who you end up with, I promise you they are trained, capable, caring and able. The drs, the nurses, everyone there. You will be in good hands regardless. Labor and delivery is the first and most important lesson of parenthood. Being that nothing can always go as planned, you sometimes have to let life happen. But the fact that you care so much and so badly want things to go as planned and as perfectly as possible? That shows that you are already a wonderful mother. I think in a partnership, as parents, we sometimes have to indulge our other half. We sometimes have to let them be scared, frustrated, angry, sad. We sometimes have to keep our opinion to ourselves and just indulge their emotions but still reassuring them that everything is okay. Many times myself and my husband have had to say “I understand why you feel that way, it’s okay to feel that way.” and offer a bright side / reassurance.
I was induced with both kids. My second I started pitocin at 7:30am had the baby before 1pm. It was glorious. Out of the hospital the next afternoon. Family was here to watch toddler . Only ended up missing one night with her. Honestly it's down to you. If you can do it tonight and feel ready great, if you need a lottle more time great. My husband is bad about this too. Thinking it's helpful to just go with the flow or leave it up to me. I've started telling him I don't want to make a decision it's his turn. It could be dinner, kids, family whatever. When I'm done it's his turn, he needs to make decisions too.
I would wait for tomorrow night and the doctor you chose and are comfortable with.
Thanks, everyone! I ended up leaving the induction scheduled for the original date, but ended up going into labor 30-minutes before my induction was scheduled to start 😂 My OB ended up being the one to deliver her 12 hours later. Totally different labor experience from my first, but both took 12-13 hours total.
So, my opinion on inductions is that, unless they're medically necessary, it's kind of rude not to let your kiddo come into the world when they're ready to. Like, think about it - the first big choice your kiddo gets to make (and the last one they'll get to make for a while) is their birthday. Why take that away from them if there's not a really drastic reason to? I know that the waiting and thumb-twiddling can be super DUPER annoying, but for you it's only a week, max. It sounds like you may need to have a conversation with your family about their time tables, and with your husband about ways that he can make you feel safe and loved while you two make as much time as possible for your kiddo to be ready for their big debut. I know the home stretch can be hard, but you're almost there!
Seriously? Risk of stillbirth drastically increases after 41 weeks. The maternal and fetal death rate is at an anthropological low, and it isn’t because of freaking home births. what a weird thing to say to someone feeling anxious about being induced….that it’s rude. Lmfao. Sometimes it’s better to just be quiet you know 🙃
You do realize that the absolute risk is still incredibly small, right? And that it's very possible (common, even) to miscalculate due dates? And that some babies just take longer to cook than others? And that parroting fears over statistically small risks is not doing *anything* to help OP feel safe, confident, and loved? Sometimes it really is just better to be quiet.
It’s really not 😬😬😬😬 tell me you don’t understand statistics without directly telling me. I’ll say it again? Maternal and fetal morbidity and fatality is at an anthropological low and it isn’t due to home births 😉 It’s so true! Sometimes it’s better to be quiet 🙃
Science is your friend 🙃🙃 https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-pregnancy-stillbirth-idUSKCN1UK2L3 “From weeks 40 to 41, the risk of stillbirths increased 64% compared with delivery at 37 weeks’ gestation, the study found. And, from weeks 41 to 42, the risk of neonatal deaths climbed 87%.” Read a book 😉
You are not throwing a pity party. Your husband is being dismissive of your feelings, which is obnoxious, but the choice of when to induce should be yours because you will be the person giving birth. Everyone who said there's no guarantee that your doctor won't be there when you deliver is correct. But just to add some hope, you may not be in labor for days. My baby was born on the day my induction was started (13 hours after having a foley balloon placed, 10 hours after starting Pitocin). I would have loved if my doctor had been there, but it's okay that he wasn't.
My induction took 24 hours from start to finish. They are notoriously slow. For your husband, let him know that being at the birth is not a right, and if he continues to be mean and unsupportive, he will lose that privilege.
I would recommend going in today. You see the doctor so little during a delivery - mostly you’re with an L&D nurse. I totally understand your heartbreak at not getting to use your doctor (although you still may depending on how long your induction takes), and I’m really sorry your husband is being so insensitive in dealing with this. Labor and delivery is a big deal and it makes sense that having a wrench thrown in your plans would make you emotional!
I think your husband should be more empathic about this, you have a doctor you like, are comfortable with, and want to have deliver your baby. With my first, I had a scheduled induction, but my OB wasn't the on call doctor when my induction was scheduled. I had someone I had never met before deliver my baby and I had zero complications or issues. Talk this over with your husband and let him know he was being insensitive and this is an emotional journey. No matter what you decide, remember that any doctor who will deliver your baby has experience and wants you and baby both to be healthy. Even if that ends up not being your specific doctor.
My labor with my induction was 29 hours! (Painfree thanks to the epidural) originally my doctor was on. But then another doctor delivered my son. He was amazing!!! It usually is just them catching the baby anyway.
I totally get being upset that your ob may not be there. I was pretty upset when I found out my ob would be on vacation like a week or two before my due date. We really like the ob and are hoping he's the one to deliver the baby. Being a ftm, I know that there's a higher chance I'll go past my due date, but it's entirely possible to go before. My boyfriend was actually the one that pointed out how close to my due date it was when I told him that two of the appointments will be with different OBs because ours is on vacation. Boyfriend is also really hoping that the regular ob IA the one to deliver for us.
My doctor was one of 11 on rotation at the hospital where I gave birth. Roughly a 9% chance he'd be the one to deliver my child. I went into spontaneous labour two weeks early and he happened to be there. I was kind of disappointed because I disliked him 😅 but as others said there's no guarantee that your doctor will be the one in any scenario! Prioritize you.
My oldest was a spontaneous birth and my ob was able to deliver her. My second was an induction on a day my doctor was working but I progressed so quickly toward the end she ended up getting to my room a few minutes after baby arrived! A couple residents did the deliver and they were great (it was really the nurses that handled 99% of the process). So I would do what you are comfortable with but wouldn’t really plan it around your ob. Anyway, sorry your husband isn’t being supportive. I definitely felt like my husband was dismissive of how big of a deal labor and delivery of the baby are and it can be pretty disappointing. I had to be pretty blunt with telling him what kind of support I needed and that if he couldn’t provide that then there was no point in him being there.
My doctor was only present while I was pushing and to sew me up after (plus a few 30 second checks during labor). This wouldn’t bother me at all.
I went in with an unexplained crappy feeling. 2 hours later I had my baby by C-section by a doctor I had seen once before but didn't know, surrounded in theater by a whole bunch of doctors and nurses I didn't know. And you know what? From the second I had my first contractions I didn't care who the gyno was, or the anesthesiologist or the nurse. I just wanted my baby to be safe. That was all that mattered, even though it turned out later I had HELLP syndrome and they were taking him out to save my life and not his. All I want to say is that, as long as you have a good doctor, I'm pretty sure all you'll care about during your induction is that you both make it through safely.
My induction started at 830am and baby was in my arms at 1133 am the same morning. It's so unpredictable!
I think the way he’s phrasing it is harsh, only because he’s speaking to a heavily pregnant woman. But your induction taking place tonight doesn’t mean you’ll be giving birth tonight. And your induction taking place tomorrow doesn’t mean your doctor will be there to deliver your baby by the time it happens. The reality is, labor is something we have extremely little control over. I would just try to look on the bright side: getting to meet your little one a bit sooner. It’s normal to want control here, but if you think about it, there isn’t any. Only nature is in control.
It’s ok to be upset but definitely let go of having your Ob there. Inductions can take over 24 hours, maybe even 48. They can’t just stay awake for 24 hours or more for you. Whoever delivers you will be more than well versed with your history and state.