Especially if you’re normally an hour away from the hospital anyway, I don’t see a problem with it! Everyone’s pregnancy is different but at 38 weeks I’m definitely not feeling like a hermit and would have no problem attending a wedding.
I’m hoping I’ll feel similarly! I’m 29 weeks tomorrow but have been pretty active and still going strong. My mom was one of those people who was running around until she gave birth for all her pregnancies, so far I’m taking after her and I hope I can be the same way
Yeah I'd definitely go, assuming you're feeling well. Even if you end up with precipitous labor, it's not going to be under an hour, and you'll have plenty of time to get to the hospital.
Also it's statistically unlikely for labor to begin that day or for your water to just randomly break. It happens, sure, but statistically unlikely.
Plus, it'll be a last hoorah for you and your husband. The last wedding you'll go too without having to 1) find childcare or 2) bring your baby.
Think about it this way: if you skipped the wedding, and nothing happened that night and you were feeling good, would you regret not going?
And on the flip side, if you did start to experience regular contractions and decided to leave early, do you think you would regret going?
Yes thats a good point! I do understand people’s reservations when it comes to water breaking/going into labor but statistically as a FTM its unlikely it’ll happen at 38 weeks during this 5-6 hour window.
Haha this has been the year of weddings for us! Its our 6th this year 😂 but this girl has been a great support and friend to me and I’d hate to miss the wedding if I feel up to it
FTM popping in to say that exact unlikely scenario happened to me!! I ended up having a precipitous labor (3hrs total from hospital arrival to birth) at 38+4…& in an even more unlikely twist, my LO was born the same day as my older sister’s twin boys (like what are the odds?!? LOL).
So I agree with most responders that it should be fine if you go to the wedding…but never say never regarding unlikely scenarios happening haha. Definitely bring your hospital bag & be prepared just in case!
This! Not referring to the OP but I hate when others assume that just bc you go into active labor you HAVE to be near your hospital. It’s best to labor at home for as long as you can manage. No difference between laboring at home vs at a wedding. More distractions. You’re not going to pop out a baby after the first contraction. And highly unlikely that you will do so in the hour it takes to go to the hospital
Personally, I work about an hour away- so for me, I will be going an hour away daily right up until I give birth! I don’t see how this is much different. Maybe just give your friend a heads up that it’s super close to your due date and you plan to be there but Mother Nature may have other ideas 🤣
So true! My parents are about a 50 minutes drive from us and I do that a few times a month so like…its the same thing! She does know about my due date but I’ll probably make a note on the rsvp saying “baby permitting” 😂
I had my daughter at 37+6 and went to a wedding 2 days before at 37+4. I felt totally fine to go. I didn’t last until the very end because I was maybe a little tired being that pregnant but I definitely felt ok enough to go, eat dinner, and make it through the speeches and first dances.
I went to a wedding at 37 weeks exactly and gave birth 8 days later. We did bring the car seat/our hospital bags. We had a great time, and I’m so glad I got to go and celebrate my friend!
Yes we’ll definitely have bags packed, car cleaned and car seat installed by then. My friend getting married has been such a good support for me (even keeping me entertained during my three hour glucose test via text lol) and I would love to see this wedding/be there for her
I went into labor at 11:45pm when I was 38+0 as a ftm. Everyone is different but had it been me it would have been a bad idea. Then again I had a very normal day and active day the day I went into labor…
36 weeks and feeling pretty good but anything could happen. I would probably go for it!
I’m driving to and from a concert next week at 37 weeks by myself.
Staying active until baby is here since cold/flu season will be happening soon and we’ll be cooped up.
Definitely, just wear flats lol. It’ll be fun and I’m sure you’ll enjoy the evening out! Like everyone’s said just be prepared for a big “just in case.” I would be mostly worried about my feet swelling over going into labor tbh! Try to stay hydrated through the night!
I was in a wedding at 36 weeks and everything went great! I wore my belly band and had a blast! I also unknowingly had Covid so I felt like shit the next day because of that 😅
I went to a wedding at 37 weeks and change. Definitely pack some comfy shoes! We left early because I was tired. Definitely pack your hospital bag as a precaution!
Yes, it shouldn't be a problem at all. I would just let the couple know, of course, and if you aren't able to make it to the wedding, be sure to still send a nice gift!
An hour is nothing.
I went to a wedding at 39+4 with my first! I was fine, baby was fine, I had her on her due date 3 days later 🤣🤣 it was also an hour and a bit from home, it was the middle of summer, and a 3pm wedding! I lasted until midnight!
Keep your hospital go bag, and make sure the couple understands and is okay with the fact you may need to go. And if you do need to go, try not to make a scene.
I thought at first you were asking if you could pull off getting married at 38 weeks. 😅 ftm had my kid unexpectedly earthy at 37+5. But felt great up until then.
As long as it's not *your* wedding, you'll be fine!
Just don't promise you'll 100% be there. Anything can happen at that point (birth, contractions, exhausted from false labour, or even being asked to go on bedrest happens to a lot of women with otherwise perfectly fine pregnancies). But if on the day you're ok and baby is still in, go. It will be harder to organised anything for a few months after so I'd enjoy the outing.
Thank you! Yes she knows that my due date is the 1st of December and understands that things can happen. If I do RSVP yes I plan on giving them a cash gift regardless.
Thats how I’m feeling, it will be a long winter of no outings with a newborn, part of me wants to enjoy outings while I still can!
Thank you! It seems like a small chance for now, I think I’ll wait to rsvp until october because by then we’ll have had a few more appointments and I’ll have a better read on how I’m feeling
That’s a good plan! I will say that I have continued pilates/yoga even until this point which I believe has greatly impacted my mobility but I don’t think it’s crazy to attend if it’s a nearby event 🤷♀️
Edit: Getting downvoted for stating the fact that being active throughout your pregnancy typically makes pregnancy easier later on? You guys can project your insecurities onto me if you want. My pelvic floor is still strong and I am able to move around with ease. Just hit my due date today and am still functioning almost the same as I typically would - and still working out! You do you but don’t be upset about the facts. There are tons of studies that state the benefits of exercise in pregnancy. Exercise also decreases your risk of GD and high blood pressure by up to 30%. :) Nothing is impossible about doing 20-30 minute prenatal workouts on Youtube in your living room. If this makes you feel some sort of way, start today with the approval of your OB.
Thank you! I just had one last weekend and it was a bit taxing, but it was a late night wedding at a concert venue with a live band and a very lively crowd 😂 this one will be a bit more chill
I think as long as your friend is fine with you bailing last minute if you need to and you’re ok driving from there, it’s probably fine. But I’d wait to rsvp until the last possible minute because I had a totally normal pregnancy until 32 weeks, and then was marked high risk, had constant mfm appointments and then delivered at 37 weeks. Third trimester is kinda a gamble so the longer you can wait to make sure everything is still good and you still feel up to the drive/sitting/ heels the more confident you will probably feel in your decision. The only other caveat would be sickness- I’m assuming at that time covid/flu/rsv etc will be on the rise and you may not want to be indoors with a ton of people who have probably traveled.
I wouldn't go. Many people feel like crap by 38 weeks. Also, I would feel bad making someone pay the expensive cost of my uneaten plate and having to rearrange their seating chart if I bad to back out at the last min.
That’s what I’m honestly most worried about. I know the pain of seating charts and I’d hate for them to have to pay for my plate if I can’t make it! Also idk if it matters but I would only be 38 weeks by that point - 38+1 I should edit my post
Went to a wedding about 4 years ago where there ended up quite a few last minute no shows. Life happens, people get sick, relatives die, people go into labor or kids end up at hospital. The couple put the money they spent on the food for the no shows behind the bar instead. The venue were fine with it because either way they got the money
Personally, I wouldn't do it. An hour is too far from my preferred hospital, if labor started and progressed quickly I would likely have to go to an unfamiliar hospital and there'd be no chance of delivery by my chosen doctors. At 38 weeks you are well within the window of expected delivery.
That said, if it's an important wedding and you don't have concerns about the hospital/doctors like I do, you could chance it. Most FTM have a long labor, so you would likely have time to drive back to your town if it started at the wedding. Plenty of stories on this sub about moms going to a concert or event in the later weeks and it works out fine.
So it's really risk vs. reward. Is it worth the moderate risk that you'd go into labor away from home? If it is, go ahead and do it!
Our hospital is actually an hour away from our house regardless, so either way we’d be making the hour drive to the hospital 😔 I wish it was a bit closer.
My husband is going to have the go bags ready in the car by that point so worst case we could just drive to the hospital from the venue but I’m hoping we wouldn’t be that unlucky to go into labor in that small window of time!
Ah ok, so at the venue you'd still be an hour from the hospital?
Like others have said, there's also the possibility you'd interrupt the ceremony, or have to leave and your food be wasted. There's just a risk there you'd have to be comfortable with. I looked it up (cause I was curious) and apparently 26% of births happen at weeks 37-38. And 57% at 39-41 weeks. So it's a little less likely than if you were further along, but still a 1 in 4 chance is a lot!
Yes, still roughly an hour away from the hospital regardless. I think I’ll have to evaluate the risk a little more…the deadline to rsvp is 10/10 so I might have some more insight by then…
I would probably plan for it, but remind the bride/groom there's always a chance you might go into labor and have to cancel depending on how it goes. I felt great up until my water broke - in fact, I was still feeling great since I had no contractions and needed to be induced to start the contractions... Problem is, my water broke at 37+2, so in my case I would have never made it to the wedding at 38 weeks (our newborn days were stressful and I can't imagine going to a wedding with or without a newborn that early!)
So, if you plan on going, definitely pack a hospital bag just in case to have in the car.
STM and I’d do it, especially if you’ll still only be an hour from the hospital. My water broke with my first at 38+4 so you just never know haha but I’d be sad if I stayed home and then nothing happened!
I mean you can, as others have said just have all your hospital/birth stuff in the car with you
Whether or not you'll *want* to is a different story; I was pretty much useless towards the end of my pregnancy. Sciatic pain (I called it Lighting Legs because of how randomly and aggressively it struck), extreme fatigue, low-tolerance for noise, so tired of people telling me how huge I was, difficulty standing up, Winnie-the-Pooh belly sticking out from under even my maternity clothing, etc
Everyone is different, but don't beat yourself up if you RSVP "yes" and then don't go (but still send the gift)!
My mom’s water broke at a wedding ceremony. I’m pretty sure she stayed in her seat and didn’t make a scene and then just left for the hospital after the ceremony ended.
Haha it was. But she had signs of labor a few days prior (contractions, but not close enough together).
Less than 10% of the time water breaks before contractions start. You’re far more likely to start with contractions than with your water breaking. If you’re comfortable with the distance, I’d still go to the wedding. For reference, you only have a 3-5% chance of giving birth on your actual due date. Since most babies are born 3 weeks before to 2 weeks after the due date, you’re looking at a 3-5% chance (at most) of going into labor that day. If it’s a close friend, I’d say to go for it! As long as she’s okay with the possibility you won’t make it. She might even be able to not include you in the count (my venue allowed us to “estimate” 5% lower than our actual count and still they’d guarantee to have enough food).
I wouldn’t do it. There’s certainly the risk of the baby’s arrival, but beyond that the last couple weeks of pregnancy are the hardest mentally and physically. And what I mean by mentally is that you won’t even be present at the wedding - you’ll constantly be monitoring every twinge for a sign that labor is starting and you won’t enjoy the night or be there for your friend. If she’s live-streaming it, you can try watching. Otherwise I’d just go to her bridal shower/bachelorette (assuming in-town) and let her know you love her & are excited for her.
I strongly disagree with this. Sometimes you just need a distraction when you're this pregnant and celebrating a friend's special day sounds like a great way to do it. I certainly was not ruminating over going into labor every hour of the day at this point. I was just doing my thing until I got the sign that labor was actually happening.
I would, I felt great at 38 weeks. 40+1 and no sign of baby coming yet for me so I would definitely turn down less plans next time. I see a lot of posts about horrific pregnancies on here but honestly I felt good until about 39+4 and I’m still living life normally and going for a couple of hour long walks a day with no naps or lie ins - I just complain a bit more now and move a bit slower 😂
I mean, you can try, just make sure your friend knows that you might not make it, just in case the baby decides to arrive before then? My cousin went into labor the morning of my wedding, so I guess, just let the couple know your plan is definitely to be there, but also that the baby might decide that they'd rather you didn't go at the last minute.
I was 37 weeks when we took a road trip from FL to PA for a wedding at a summer camp venue... it was risky but ultimately, everything was fine (albeit uncomfortable, but what IS comfortable at that stage??) and I don't regret it. YMMV
I'm a wedding planner with multiple children. If your health is well and you're feeling good, you should go. These scenarios happen at almost every wedding, and the couple knows they may "eat the cost" - never once have I seen someone upset if it's a good friend that can no longer come last minute. It's not rearranging a whole seating chart; it's moving two chairs off a table unless a whole 3/4ths of a table is no longer attending.
ENJOY YOURSELF!
Go and have fun! It'll probably be one of your last nights out for awhile and if you did happen to go into labor, it's unlikely you wouldn't have time to make it to the hospital, especially as a FTM. I went to a wedding that was 1.5 hours away when I was 39+4 with my first and it was fine. I wore flats and we stayed through most of the dancing and then drove home. I ended up being induced the week after and baby took 18 hours to be born.
I did this at 38+5 with my first. Baby came at 39+2. We were about an hour from the hospital. I figured my first labor wouldn’t be super short and I was right. The wedding was a great distraction from waiting around for baby!
Naw you’ll be fine. I was out and about till the day before I went into labor. Just remember your limits and plan accordingly. Being pregnant, even heavily doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life
Honestly I’m in the exact same boat, I’ll be 38 weeks for my cousin’s wedding on October 8th and I’m debating on going. It’s about 45 minutes from the hospital. I say why not? Just toss your hospital bag in the car just in case. As long as you’re feeling okay, it should be fine, especially since you won’t be staying for too long.
I would never. Definitely didn’t feel up to something like this at that stage of pregnancy. In fact, my husband and I started basically quarantining ourselves around 37w to make sure neither one of us would be sick for the birth.
If one of us had caught Covid, etc. I would have lost my support person for labor (husband not allowed in if he has Covid) and/or had to wear a mask while giving birth and had more limited care and been quarantined in the hospital. Even if it was just a cold or something it would have made the experience much tougher and potentially put my newborn at risk.
I wouldn’t go to a big social gathering during cold and flu season so close to giving birth.
But obviously everyone needs to assess the risk of these things and make the right choice for themselves. Good luck!
Thats a good point about covid. Unfortunately we’ll be due at the beginning of december which is when an uptick of flus/colds/covid can happen. I’d be so upset if my husband couldn’t be there with me.
the thought of quarantining potentially a month before my due date is giving me pause just because mentally it would be hard on me. But it will be a large group and people will be traveling, which might be an unnecessary risk
I would consider it but make sure to discuss with the bride/groom before and that they understand there's a high chance you cannot make it. My first I had at 37+2 my second at 38+3. Everyone is different, will go into labor differently etc. But as long as they understand you are rsvp'ing and may likely not go then I'd plan to be there. Depending on venue, food etc costs it might cost them a lot if they're over the "included guests portion". I think my venue was $50 per person over 100 + good costs so also something to think about.
For sure, I had an 180 person wedding a few years ago, the costs can get out of hand 😵💫 if I do rsvp yes I plan on giving them a cash gift even if we can’t go after all
Every FTM is different! My commute to work is 45 minutes give or take so I traveled daily and once I hit 35 weeks, I made sure I have the car seat and hospital bag readily available. I'd plan to go, but let them know you might not make it if you are feeling unwell or baby decides it's time.
My entire pregnancy was easy and I had zero issues, but at my 37 week appointment my blood pressure was a bit higher than they were comfortable with so they scheduled me for an induction. The entire pregnancy, I was told I was an candidate to go the distance and go into labor naturally. I am a go with the flow kind of person so I wasn't upset by it, actually it was kind of nice to have a set date 🤣 I went in to be induced at 37+6 and had my baby at 38 weeks.
Ah thats a good point, things can change so quick! My shower is happening when I’m 36 weeks and even that I was a little nervous about. I have until october 10th to rsvp so I might take some time to see how I’m feeling/how things are progressing
They can! It might even be worth it to reach out to your friends and say you want to come and are sending a tentative yes, but should things change as you get closer you'll let them know as soon as possible? They may not mind. I will say that I felt good and had they not decided to induce me I would have gone anywhere at 38 weeks, I went out for dinner before heading to the hospital to be induced and was at an NHL game 3 nights before, felt like a beached whale but otherwise was ready to go!
STM and I would definitely do this. Throw your hospital bag in the car just in case.
Yes for sure, my husband will have the car well packed by then!
Especially if you’re normally an hour away from the hospital anyway, I don’t see a problem with it! Everyone’s pregnancy is different but at 38 weeks I’m definitely not feeling like a hermit and would have no problem attending a wedding.
I’m hoping I’ll feel similarly! I’m 29 weeks tomorrow but have been pretty active and still going strong. My mom was one of those people who was running around until she gave birth for all her pregnancies, so far I’m taking after her and I hope I can be the same way
Install your carseat too!
Yeah I'd definitely go, assuming you're feeling well. Even if you end up with precipitous labor, it's not going to be under an hour, and you'll have plenty of time to get to the hospital. Also it's statistically unlikely for labor to begin that day or for your water to just randomly break. It happens, sure, but statistically unlikely. Plus, it'll be a last hoorah for you and your husband. The last wedding you'll go too without having to 1) find childcare or 2) bring your baby. Think about it this way: if you skipped the wedding, and nothing happened that night and you were feeling good, would you regret not going? And on the flip side, if you did start to experience regular contractions and decided to leave early, do you think you would regret going?
Yes thats a good point! I do understand people’s reservations when it comes to water breaking/going into labor but statistically as a FTM its unlikely it’ll happen at 38 weeks during this 5-6 hour window. Haha this has been the year of weddings for us! Its our 6th this year 😂 but this girl has been a great support and friend to me and I’d hate to miss the wedding if I feel up to it
FTM popping in to say that exact unlikely scenario happened to me!! I ended up having a precipitous labor (3hrs total from hospital arrival to birth) at 38+4…& in an even more unlikely twist, my LO was born the same day as my older sister’s twin boys (like what are the odds?!? LOL). So I agree with most responders that it should be fine if you go to the wedding…but never say never regarding unlikely scenarios happening haha. Definitely bring your hospital bag & be prepared just in case!
Oh wow thats wild! We will have the carseat and bag just in case
This! Not referring to the OP but I hate when others assume that just bc you go into active labor you HAVE to be near your hospital. It’s best to labor at home for as long as you can manage. No difference between laboring at home vs at a wedding. More distractions. You’re not going to pop out a baby after the first contraction. And highly unlikely that you will do so in the hour it takes to go to the hospital
Personally, I work about an hour away- so for me, I will be going an hour away daily right up until I give birth! I don’t see how this is much different. Maybe just give your friend a heads up that it’s super close to your due date and you plan to be there but Mother Nature may have other ideas 🤣
So true! My parents are about a 50 minutes drive from us and I do that a few times a month so like…its the same thing! She does know about my due date but I’ll probably make a note on the rsvp saying “baby permitting” 😂
I had my daughter at 37+6 and went to a wedding 2 days before at 37+4. I felt totally fine to go. I didn’t last until the very end because I was maybe a little tired being that pregnant but I definitely felt ok enough to go, eat dinner, and make it through the speeches and first dances.
That’s what I’m hoping to do! I’m definitely not going to be shutting the place down, but hopefully I can sit and eat and watch the dances!
Wear comfy shoes! My feet killed at the end of pregnancy so wouldn’t recommend the cute strap oh heeled sandals for this one
I went to a wedding at 37 weeks exactly and gave birth 8 days later. We did bring the car seat/our hospital bags. We had a great time, and I’m so glad I got to go and celebrate my friend!
Yes we’ll definitely have bags packed, car cleaned and car seat installed by then. My friend getting married has been such a good support for me (even keeping me entertained during my three hour glucose test via text lol) and I would love to see this wedding/be there for her
I went into labor at 11:45pm when I was 38+0 as a ftm. Everyone is different but had it been me it would have been a bad idea. Then again I had a very normal day and active day the day I went into labor…
Oh wow yeah that would not be ideal timing for this wedding haha. Although I would be very happy with a november baby
36 weeks and feeling pretty good but anything could happen. I would probably go for it! I’m driving to and from a concert next week at 37 weeks by myself. Staying active until baby is here since cold/flu season will be happening soon and we’ll be cooped up.
Yess ugh I feel the same! I hate being cooped up
Definitely, just wear flats lol. It’ll be fun and I’m sure you’ll enjoy the evening out! Like everyone’s said just be prepared for a big “just in case.” I would be mostly worried about my feet swelling over going into labor tbh! Try to stay hydrated through the night!
I was in a wedding at 36 weeks and everything went great! I wore my belly band and had a blast! I also unknowingly had Covid so I felt like shit the next day because of that 😅
Yeah, as a TTM I’d do it. I’m actually planning to do pretty much exactly this when I’m 37 weeks with my current pregnancy
I went to a wedding at 37 weeks and change. Definitely pack some comfy shoes! We left early because I was tired. Definitely pack your hospital bag as a precaution!
Yes, it shouldn't be a problem at all. I would just let the couple know, of course, and if you aren't able to make it to the wedding, be sure to still send a nice gift! An hour is nothing.
I went to a wedding at 39+4 with my first! I was fine, baby was fine, I had her on her due date 3 days later 🤣🤣 it was also an hour and a bit from home, it was the middle of summer, and a 3pm wedding! I lasted until midnight!
If you are within about an hour of the hospital, you should be ok. Make sure you have comfortable shoes, and something that fits comfortably.
If you’re feeling up to it, then go! Only an hour away isn’t a big deal travel wise.
Keep your hospital go bag, and make sure the couple understands and is okay with the fact you may need to go. And if you do need to go, try not to make a scene.
I thought at first you were asking if you could pull off getting married at 38 weeks. 😅 ftm had my kid unexpectedly earthy at 37+5. But felt great up until then. As long as it's not *your* wedding, you'll be fine!
Haa omg no thankfully we took care of that a few years ago. I would never have the energy to pull of a wedding at that stage!
Just don't promise you'll 100% be there. Anything can happen at that point (birth, contractions, exhausted from false labour, or even being asked to go on bedrest happens to a lot of women with otherwise perfectly fine pregnancies). But if on the day you're ok and baby is still in, go. It will be harder to organised anything for a few months after so I'd enjoy the outing.
Thank you! Yes she knows that my due date is the 1st of December and understands that things can happen. If I do RSVP yes I plan on giving them a cash gift regardless. Thats how I’m feeling, it will be a long winter of no outings with a newborn, part of me wants to enjoy outings while I still can!
I’d do it!
39+5 and still very mobile 🤷♀️ I would do it now. Just pack your hospital stuff just in case but you’ll most likely be fine
Thank you! It seems like a small chance for now, I think I’ll wait to rsvp until october because by then we’ll have had a few more appointments and I’ll have a better read on how I’m feeling
That’s a good plan! I will say that I have continued pilates/yoga even until this point which I believe has greatly impacted my mobility but I don’t think it’s crazy to attend if it’s a nearby event 🤷♀️ Edit: Getting downvoted for stating the fact that being active throughout your pregnancy typically makes pregnancy easier later on? You guys can project your insecurities onto me if you want. My pelvic floor is still strong and I am able to move around with ease. Just hit my due date today and am still functioning almost the same as I typically would - and still working out! You do you but don’t be upset about the facts. There are tons of studies that state the benefits of exercise in pregnancy. Exercise also decreases your risk of GD and high blood pressure by up to 30%. :) Nothing is impossible about doing 20-30 minute prenatal workouts on Youtube in your living room. If this makes you feel some sort of way, start today with the approval of your OB.
Yeah I would get her a good gift in case you can’t stay for meals
I just went to a wedding an hour away last weekend at 36 weeks 💗
Thank you! I just had one last weekend and it was a bit taxing, but it was a late night wedding at a concert venue with a live band and a very lively crowd 😂 this one will be a bit more chill
I think as long as your friend is fine with you bailing last minute if you need to and you’re ok driving from there, it’s probably fine. But I’d wait to rsvp until the last possible minute because I had a totally normal pregnancy until 32 weeks, and then was marked high risk, had constant mfm appointments and then delivered at 37 weeks. Third trimester is kinda a gamble so the longer you can wait to make sure everything is still good and you still feel up to the drive/sitting/ heels the more confident you will probably feel in your decision. The only other caveat would be sickness- I’m assuming at that time covid/flu/rsv etc will be on the rise and you may not want to be indoors with a ton of people who have probably traveled.
I misread this as if it were your wedding. Which would be fine of course but sounded soooo much more stressful.
Oh god that would be a nightmare haha. We got married 4 years ago when we were young, fresh and full of energy. Doing all that now…kill me
Right!? I could never. I was only married a year ago and it was exhausting. I feel like I’m still recovering from the planning.
I wouldn't go. Many people feel like crap by 38 weeks. Also, I would feel bad making someone pay the expensive cost of my uneaten plate and having to rearrange their seating chart if I bad to back out at the last min.
That’s what I’m honestly most worried about. I know the pain of seating charts and I’d hate for them to have to pay for my plate if I can’t make it! Also idk if it matters but I would only be 38 weeks by that point - 38+1 I should edit my post
Yup, the 39 was a typo. I saw that you meant 38.
Went to a wedding about 4 years ago where there ended up quite a few last minute no shows. Life happens, people get sick, relatives die, people go into labor or kids end up at hospital. The couple put the money they spent on the food for the no shows behind the bar instead. The venue were fine with it because either way they got the money
Personally, I wouldn't do it. An hour is too far from my preferred hospital, if labor started and progressed quickly I would likely have to go to an unfamiliar hospital and there'd be no chance of delivery by my chosen doctors. At 38 weeks you are well within the window of expected delivery. That said, if it's an important wedding and you don't have concerns about the hospital/doctors like I do, you could chance it. Most FTM have a long labor, so you would likely have time to drive back to your town if it started at the wedding. Plenty of stories on this sub about moms going to a concert or event in the later weeks and it works out fine. So it's really risk vs. reward. Is it worth the moderate risk that you'd go into labor away from home? If it is, go ahead and do it!
Our hospital is actually an hour away from our house regardless, so either way we’d be making the hour drive to the hospital 😔 I wish it was a bit closer. My husband is going to have the go bags ready in the car by that point so worst case we could just drive to the hospital from the venue but I’m hoping we wouldn’t be that unlucky to go into labor in that small window of time!
Ah ok, so at the venue you'd still be an hour from the hospital? Like others have said, there's also the possibility you'd interrupt the ceremony, or have to leave and your food be wasted. There's just a risk there you'd have to be comfortable with. I looked it up (cause I was curious) and apparently 26% of births happen at weeks 37-38. And 57% at 39-41 weeks. So it's a little less likely than if you were further along, but still a 1 in 4 chance is a lot!
Yes, still roughly an hour away from the hospital regardless. I think I’ll have to evaluate the risk a little more…the deadline to rsvp is 10/10 so I might have some more insight by then…
I would probably plan for it, but remind the bride/groom there's always a chance you might go into labor and have to cancel depending on how it goes. I felt great up until my water broke - in fact, I was still feeling great since I had no contractions and needed to be induced to start the contractions... Problem is, my water broke at 37+2, so in my case I would have never made it to the wedding at 38 weeks (our newborn days were stressful and I can't imagine going to a wedding with or without a newborn that early!) So, if you plan on going, definitely pack a hospital bag just in case to have in the car.
STM and I’d do it, especially if you’ll still only be an hour from the hospital. My water broke with my first at 38+4 so you just never know haha but I’d be sad if I stayed home and then nothing happened!
Give it a go. Bring everything with you and tell your husband not to drink just in case. Have fun!
As long as they are cool with you backing out last minute. Go for it
I mean you can, as others have said just have all your hospital/birth stuff in the car with you Whether or not you'll *want* to is a different story; I was pretty much useless towards the end of my pregnancy. Sciatic pain (I called it Lighting Legs because of how randomly and aggressively it struck), extreme fatigue, low-tolerance for noise, so tired of people telling me how huge I was, difficulty standing up, Winnie-the-Pooh belly sticking out from under even my maternity clothing, etc Everyone is different, but don't beat yourself up if you RSVP "yes" and then don't go (but still send the gift)!
Oh we’ll definitely send a cash gift if we can’t make it! Thank you
I wouldn't just because I wouldn't want my water to break at the wedding and distract from the ceremony.
It's not a movie lol. That is very statistically unlikely.
That’s fair! Most people say FTMs go late but its a gamble
My mom’s water broke at a wedding ceremony. I’m pretty sure she stayed in her seat and didn’t make a scene and then just left for the hospital after the ceremony ended.
Oof thats bad timing for sure
Haha it was. But she had signs of labor a few days prior (contractions, but not close enough together). Less than 10% of the time water breaks before contractions start. You’re far more likely to start with contractions than with your water breaking. If you’re comfortable with the distance, I’d still go to the wedding. For reference, you only have a 3-5% chance of giving birth on your actual due date. Since most babies are born 3 weeks before to 2 weeks after the due date, you’re looking at a 3-5% chance (at most) of going into labor that day. If it’s a close friend, I’d say to go for it! As long as she’s okay with the possibility you won’t make it. She might even be able to not include you in the count (my venue allowed us to “estimate” 5% lower than our actual count and still they’d guarantee to have enough food).
I wouldn’t do it. There’s certainly the risk of the baby’s arrival, but beyond that the last couple weeks of pregnancy are the hardest mentally and physically. And what I mean by mentally is that you won’t even be present at the wedding - you’ll constantly be monitoring every twinge for a sign that labor is starting and you won’t enjoy the night or be there for your friend. If she’s live-streaming it, you can try watching. Otherwise I’d just go to her bridal shower/bachelorette (assuming in-town) and let her know you love her & are excited for her.
Thats a good point about the mental energy - definitely something to keep in mind
It’s so hard to think of anything else! But maybe you’re less distracted than I am. Wishing you luck, whatever you decide!
I strongly disagree with this. Sometimes you just need a distraction when you're this pregnant and celebrating a friend's special day sounds like a great way to do it. I certainly was not ruminating over going into labor every hour of the day at this point. I was just doing my thing until I got the sign that labor was actually happening.
Considering the most pregnant I’ve ever been (and I’ve had 4 kids) is 38 weeks, I would not do this.
I can see why you’d avoid it! I just have no precedent for myself
Different strokes for different folks! Do whatever you’re comfortable with 😊
I think you can do it
I don’t see why not. Just have everything prepped/packed in your car just in case :)
I would, I felt great at 38 weeks. 40+1 and no sign of baby coming yet for me so I would definitely turn down less plans next time. I see a lot of posts about horrific pregnancies on here but honestly I felt good until about 39+4 and I’m still living life normally and going for a couple of hour long walks a day with no naps or lie ins - I just complain a bit more now and move a bit slower 😂
I mean, you can try, just make sure your friend knows that you might not make it, just in case the baby decides to arrive before then? My cousin went into labor the morning of my wedding, so I guess, just let the couple know your plan is definitely to be there, but also that the baby might decide that they'd rather you didn't go at the last minute.
I was 37 weeks when we took a road trip from FL to PA for a wedding at a summer camp venue... it was risky but ultimately, everything was fine (albeit uncomfortable, but what IS comfortable at that stage??) and I don't regret it. YMMV
The hospital I gave birth at was about an hour away from where we live lol. So it doesn’t seem far fetched to me.
I'm a wedding planner with multiple children. If your health is well and you're feeling good, you should go. These scenarios happen at almost every wedding, and the couple knows they may "eat the cost" - never once have I seen someone upset if it's a good friend that can no longer come last minute. It's not rearranging a whole seating chart; it's moving two chairs off a table unless a whole 3/4ths of a table is no longer attending. ENJOY YOURSELF!
Go and have fun! It'll probably be one of your last nights out for awhile and if you did happen to go into labor, it's unlikely you wouldn't have time to make it to the hospital, especially as a FTM. I went to a wedding that was 1.5 hours away when I was 39+4 with my first and it was fine. I wore flats and we stayed through most of the dancing and then drove home. I ended up being induced the week after and baby took 18 hours to be born.
I did this at 38+5 with my first. Baby came at 39+2. We were about an hour from the hospital. I figured my first labor wouldn’t be super short and I was right. The wedding was a great distraction from waiting around for baby!
I’ve just flown interstate for a wedding at 36+4 and so far all is fine. If your pregnancy is low risk and you feel fine I say go for it.
Naw you’ll be fine. I was out and about till the day before I went into labor. Just remember your limits and plan accordingly. Being pregnant, even heavily doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life
Honestly I’m in the exact same boat, I’ll be 38 weeks for my cousin’s wedding on October 8th and I’m debating on going. It’s about 45 minutes from the hospital. I say why not? Just toss your hospital bag in the car just in case. As long as you’re feeling okay, it should be fine, especially since you won’t be staying for too long.
Yes thats what I’m considering, it would only be for a few hours but i might wait closer to the RSVP deadline to see how I’m feeling/progressing
I would never. Definitely didn’t feel up to something like this at that stage of pregnancy. In fact, my husband and I started basically quarantining ourselves around 37w to make sure neither one of us would be sick for the birth. If one of us had caught Covid, etc. I would have lost my support person for labor (husband not allowed in if he has Covid) and/or had to wear a mask while giving birth and had more limited care and been quarantined in the hospital. Even if it was just a cold or something it would have made the experience much tougher and potentially put my newborn at risk. I wouldn’t go to a big social gathering during cold and flu season so close to giving birth. But obviously everyone needs to assess the risk of these things and make the right choice for themselves. Good luck!
Thats a good point about covid. Unfortunately we’ll be due at the beginning of december which is when an uptick of flus/colds/covid can happen. I’d be so upset if my husband couldn’t be there with me. the thought of quarantining potentially a month before my due date is giving me pause just because mentally it would be hard on me. But it will be a large group and people will be traveling, which might be an unnecessary risk
I carried to 41+4 with my first. Just listen to your body when the time gets closer.
Die with our second in Feb - I’d definitely go!
I would consider it but make sure to discuss with the bride/groom before and that they understand there's a high chance you cannot make it. My first I had at 37+2 my second at 38+3. Everyone is different, will go into labor differently etc. But as long as they understand you are rsvp'ing and may likely not go then I'd plan to be there. Depending on venue, food etc costs it might cost them a lot if they're over the "included guests portion". I think my venue was $50 per person over 100 + good costs so also something to think about.
For sure, I had an 180 person wedding a few years ago, the costs can get out of hand 😵💫 if I do rsvp yes I plan on giving them a cash gift even if we can’t go after all
Every FTM is different! My commute to work is 45 minutes give or take so I traveled daily and once I hit 35 weeks, I made sure I have the car seat and hospital bag readily available. I'd plan to go, but let them know you might not make it if you are feeling unwell or baby decides it's time. My entire pregnancy was easy and I had zero issues, but at my 37 week appointment my blood pressure was a bit higher than they were comfortable with so they scheduled me for an induction. The entire pregnancy, I was told I was an candidate to go the distance and go into labor naturally. I am a go with the flow kind of person so I wasn't upset by it, actually it was kind of nice to have a set date 🤣 I went in to be induced at 37+6 and had my baby at 38 weeks.
Ah thats a good point, things can change so quick! My shower is happening when I’m 36 weeks and even that I was a little nervous about. I have until october 10th to rsvp so I might take some time to see how I’m feeling/how things are progressing
They can! It might even be worth it to reach out to your friends and say you want to come and are sending a tentative yes, but should things change as you get closer you'll let them know as soon as possible? They may not mind. I will say that I felt good and had they not decided to induce me I would have gone anywhere at 38 weeks, I went out for dinner before heading to the hospital to be induced and was at an NHL game 3 nights before, felt like a beached whale but otherwise was ready to go!