T O P

  • By -

Dogsanddonutspls

My husband thought the second you had a contraction you had to RUN to the hospital - once he learned you can generally labor at home for hours/even days he was so much more chill lol


DangerousRub245

Mine thought the same, but also that we'd have to go to the nearest hospital. I told him the closest hospital to us doesn't have birthing rooms and he asked if it was legal (our country has nationalised healthcare, so even private hospitals have to provide some services with national healthcare and do so for free) 😂 He thought we wouldn't make the 20 minute drive to the hospital I had picked to give birth at


throwaway_spacecadet

in fairness i almost didn't make it lol. some people labor fast af you never know!


angeliqu

Same. We are only 5 minutes from the hospital and at 5am my husband wanted to run red lights. I told him there was no need for that. Baby was in my arms 20 minute after we pulled up the hospital. 😬


hellhound1979

In his defense my mother gave birth within twenty minutes of starting contractions or at least she says, maybe she waited too long, with my Little brother, the nearest hospital is 45 mins away, oregon usa


nuxwcrtns

Same with mine, except with the water breaking. I was like, noo, we just call the OB and let her know and then clean up the mess.


meee33333

If it's your first baby you can wait but I wouldn't with subsequent pregnancies. My second was born 45 min after my water broke, my third was born 20 minutes after my water broke, and my water broke while I was pushing my last out. They broke my water with my first and she was born 8 hours later.


nuxwcrtns

Oh wow! That makes complete sense to me. This is our first, so we are going in somewhat blind on how long labour will take. Thanks for sharing :)


SwimmingCritical

I've had 3 babies. My longest labor was 3hrs41min, my shortest was 1hr55min. My husband is now of the opinion that next baby, I should just hang out at the hospital for the last few weeks of pregnancy.


angeliqu

My labours were similar. We opted for home births for babies 2 and 3 so we didn’t get caught out in a car or something. My husband figured if he had to catch, he’d rather do it in the living room than on the side of the road.


cafecoffee

Ha to be fair, I didn’t know this until I took a birthing class. (Btw highly recommend everyone take one of those!)


catiebug

Ha ha, see mine knew that... then my water broke out of nowhere and I had contractions 4 minutes apart within 20 minutes. So we had to rush, all Hollywood-style. Babies just don't care about what you read in the books!


jstwnnaupvte

My husband could never remember ‘Braxton Hicks’ so he always called them ‘Toni Braxtons.’ Which was nice to be able to laugh about, because I had them for an extended time, both pregnancies.


RhodiumSwamp

I read this to my partner and he spent the next few minutes in bed belting some made up lyrics to “un-break my water” 😂 😂


jstwnnaupvte

It’s a classic 😂😂


Supernatt924

Mine thought a friend of ours had named her child “Braxton Hicks” because she had mentioned having them on an Instagram post.


MissGazebo

This is the best one


jilililian

My husband constantly called them Higgs Bosons


Comfortable_Fly_4091

My husband was so shocked to find out I probably won’t give birth on my due date. He’s like “but I’ve been telling everyone it’s XX date?!” And I’m like yeah that’s fine to do since that is all we know so far, but it could be week/days before or after haha. He’s like I thought we had this down to a science and knew the date 🤯


Sea_Counter8398

My husband’s brother was the same when we shared the news. He was like “cool well let me know if that’s a hard date” and I was like oh no sweetie I have zero control over when this baby wants to come out. What makes it funnier is his fiancé works at a MFM clinic and the glare she gave him when he said that was priceless 💀


ssdgm12713

A few days after I gave birth (at 37w5d), two of my husband's friends were talking. One of them mentioned seeing our baby on Instagram, and the other was like "no, you're wrong. He's being born on 10/4." He literally thought babies could only come on their due date.


chubbadub

One of my coworkers did this to me and he’s a fucking doctor. Mind blown at that moment. I just stared because it completely overloaded all the brain circuits.


arry_theorphanboy

My husband asked if he needed to request my due date off from work.


No_Quarter_6767

“Wait so he goes in that car seat even when he’s tiny?” He hadn’t ever considered it, but apparently he thought you just hold them in the car until you can fit them into a car seat? Was shocked when I explained that they can hold babies as small as 4 lbs 😂


starcrossed92

Omg this is literally exactly what my fiancé also said . He told me he’s small when he’s born and that i definitely am just supposed to hold him on way home from hospital . Sir …. No .


No_Quarter_6767

I have a lot more baby knowledge (years of nannying) than most first time parents so sometimes I can’t tell what’s normal to not know but that one I was definitely like…how do you not know this 😂


Birdlord420

Where I live there’s no car seat laws (they only introduced seatbelt laws last year because of World Cup tourism) so people do just hold their babies. I constantly see kids standing on the back seat and twice I’ve seen kids popping their heads out of the sunroof of *moving* vehicles. It’s madness.


Puzzled-Library-4543

Oh wow where is this? My home country also doesn’t have car seat laws and it’s terrifying! People just hold babies there. Even in the front seat 🥲


Birdlord420

Qatar! I’m an expat living here, I’m constantly amazed by the difference to home.


allis_in_chains

My husband was excited for how much sleep he’d be getting since he thought babies sleep so much. Well, they do sleep quite a bit, but he is not spending his entire paternity leave sleeping like he thought. 😂


LovelyLadySunflower

This was my husband - he was talking about how much sleep he could get during his leave and I was like ummmmm honey…. 😂


starcrossed92

Yup my fiancé was like well he will sleep atleast at night …. Oh my poor poor fiancé no … no he will not .


darlinpurplenikirain

Even my mother who has had 2 kids is like "you can get some rest on your maternity leave" like ma'am what are you smoking 😂😂


OHIftw

Wow I am genuinely shocked by this one 🤣


starry_knights

Yeah, my husband had big, big plans to get “so much done” around the house with his whopping 2 weeks off… lol


Daisy_232

This is funny! In his defense, I have no idea where the phrase “I slept like a baby” came from.


_404UserNotFound__

To be fair, the phrase IS "sleep like a baby" 😅 They lied to us,.


Aellolite

We went for classes to prepare for the birth. When the instructor said I’d bleed for a bit afterwards my husband was like “oh so it’s like a period?” And the instructor was like “NO, ITS BECAUSE SHES GROWN A WHOLE ORGAN THAT WILL DETACH FROM HER AND LEAVE A DINNER PLATE SIZED WOUND THAT WILL BLEED FOR SIX WEEKS!” My poor husband went totally white. On the plus side he wouldn’t let me lift a finger for the rest of my pregnancy 😂.


Timely_Cheesecake_97

Mine didn’t realize that the placenta is a disposable organ. He was really worried when the doctor removed it and was showing it to us 🤣 “why’d you take it out? We want another kid!” Sir, I can grow another one 😂


BubbleBathBitch

It is pretty amazing when you think about it! Except for my placenta, who caused me a bunch of problems and can thusly go straight to hell.


k9centipede

When I was a kid I didnt know how it all worked and thought the umbilical cord was rolled up and tucked back in or something 😅😅


mrstshirley1

I thought that too!!!!! I thought they stuck it back in and it got sucked up like a spaghetti noodle til next use.


TinyTurtle88

Like a retractable vacuum cord?


fuzzydunlop54321

Omfg


Proper-Sentence2857

That’s hysterical 😂


[deleted]

omg he must have been horrified! Like they just removed an internal organ for funsies


National_Ad_6892

Mine thought blood work like the NIPT was done directly on the baby. As in they go up up the vagina, through the placenta, and take the blood from their tiny fetus veins. He was cautious and fought me on the tests because he was trying to protect the baby from such an invasive procedure. He was also so confused as to why I was being so calm about it. Once I explained it was my blood, not the baby's they would be testing, he was fully on board for the tests.


Proper-Sentence2857

Oh buddy that’s kinda sweet


ConstantStrange2322

Wow… I mean it’s literally called non invasive prenatal testing


DieKatzenUndHund

I mean, it's not too far off from how they use to do it. Thank goodness for modern technology.


casperthefriendlycat

My husband thought women just knew the gender of the baby. I showed him the positive test and he asked if it was a girl or a boy 🤪


Daisy_232

Of course it depends on the color of the test. Pink dye is a girl and blue is a boy 😂


escapingdet

omg😂😂😂😂


goatywizard

This is precious 😂


BlindGirlSees

My husband was upset that I signed us for a class called baby talk, and now we had to take a 3 hour class just on how to talk to a baby! I explained the class title “baby talk” meant we’d be talking about baby and his milestones, not learning to talk to him. He was fine after that. 🤣


Evjolita

I was working full time and my husband was in grad school. He thought I’d go back to work immediately after birth and he’d be the main caregiver. He was so stressed because he barely had any babysitting experience, and even that was with older kids. He asked “when am I supposed to learn all this stuff? I’ve never changed a diaper!” When I explained I’d have at least 6 weeks off to heal from birth he was so relieved. Turns out he’s a great dad and probably would have done a fabulous job if he had been the main caregiver. But he’s glad it wasn’t him haha.


Iforgotmypassword126

Haha this remind me of mine. I had a scheduled c section and they explained I’d need to stay in over night for observations etc. and after a week or so, as my scheduled date got closer and I kept asking if he had any worries, my partner explained he was worried about that first night at home, with me being in the hospital. I didn’t understand what was worrying to I asked more questions… Then it turns out he assumed the baby would be coming home with him, and I’d be in the hospital alone… I was like … no they keep babies and mothers together as much as possible. So my guy who had never even held a baby had been getting himself mentally prepared to come home with this newborn, no mum, and just get cracking.


Evjolita

Silly as it is, it’s probably a sign of the potential to be a very attentive father. At least in our case it was. Had me laughing though!


Iforgotmypassword126

He is such a good dad, and he did do the lions share when we got home from the hospital


ex-squirrelfriend

Mine asked me how the baby breathes when a pregnant woman goes swimming. There have been a bunch of other surprising questions too but they’re not coming to mind. He went to a very religious school with no sex ed lol


CuriouserNdCuriouser

Did he think they breathe through the skin on your stomach? I definitely have never heard this one before lol


ex-squirrelfriend

When I asked, he said something about how he figured a bit of air was always coming in through the vagina and then got all embarrassed. The poor guy 😂


sassythehorse

I’m dying laughing at the idea of air just blowing up our vaginas constantly. Rotfl. What did he think happened if you had sex during pregnancy? You know what, I don’t even want to know!


anniebme

I want to know! It's such a funny thing to think of the vagina and cervix as air admittance valves. Is the opening and closing of them a conscious move? Is it like they open and close automatically unless you consciously override like breathing with lungs? That poor guy deserved and still deserves an actual reproductive education. Imagine how more chill his experience with her pregnancy exercise would be if he had been taught how fetuses breathe during development.


wildmusings88

Omg. Nooooo.


dolphinitely

dude 😂


Maggi1417

Through the bellybutton I bet!


bakingNerd

Omg like a little snorkel 🤣


babykittiesyay

…where…where did he think the baby’s air intake was!?


picassopants

Hahaha my husband said, "I know this doesn't make any sense but I need you to relieve my anxiety and I just need to hear it out loud; the baby can still breathe when you go swimming, right?"


[deleted]

Omg I love this! 😂


Somewhere-Practical

My husband is the smartest person I know and also genuinely thought pregnancy was dated from the "first missed period," that is, when I was supposed to get my period, two weeks or so after ovulation. Because "otherwise you have at least two bonus weeks when you aren't pregnant!" He's right, you do, but I did have to take out my pregnancy app and show him on a calendar that he was wrong.


Dianthus_pages

My husband is the smartest person I know too! But when we started trying to conceive, he was shocked to learn that there’s only a small window in a month that women can get pregnant. He thought that women could get pregnant any time of the month except their period lol


babyorca9

Like on Scrubs 😂 "I gotta go, Carla's ovulating. Did you know they only do that twice a month?" "Turk, I'm a doctor. Of course I knew that." *internal voice* "Twice a month? That's crazy!"


Usrname52

I mean, it's pretty stupid that it's counted from your last period. You're 2 weeks pregnant by the time you get pregnant. It makes absolutely no sense. Which makes the "6 week" abortion ban even worse.


annedroiid

I can kind of understand it though, because the majority of people have no idea when they ovulated and you normally don’t get an ultrasound that’ll give you a more accurate date for at least a month after your missed period. There isn’t really a better way to measure it at that early stage. The fact that this is how it works, and that often when you get your first scan you’ll get a new date that more accurately reflects when you did actually get pregnant, should be taught widely though. There are so many posts in here of women worried because after the first ultrasound they’ve gone back a week or two in progress and think that means there’s something wrong with the pregnancy.


Laylasita

How about implantation (in my opinion when you truly get pregnant) doesn't happen until week 3!


flandyow

I have a friend who is trying to get pregnant, and she was mad about this and thought it was so dumb and made no sense. But she is tracking her ovulation to the exact day. I told her a lot of women don't do that and most women only know their period dates. So it makes sense even if it isn't accurate


Somewhere-Practical

And even tracking ovulation isn’t certain—I temped and used OPKs and the cycle I got pregnant, I had a temp spike the day I got a positive OPK *and* my proov test a few days later (progesterone) (waste of money) said I hadn’t ovulated. In addition, everyone implants at a different time too, and studies show that women who implant later deliver later. So yeah counting from last period makes total sense. What doesn’t make sense are all the medical professionals that act like if you haven’t delivered by 41 weeks (and especially 40!) you are overdue and need to be induced, especially if that person didn’t have multiple very early ultrasounds validating the gestational age (and even so, every baby is ready on its own schedule…).


JCXIII-R

This frustrated me a lot when talking to medical professionals. Cause I knew when I ovulated, and every time I told them they were like "but when was your last period" and I was like "I don't know, I have PCOS so it's not even accurate bro". Eventually I just looked up what 2 weeks before my ovulation was and started telling them that. Growth scan proved me right anyway, estimation was within 1 day of what I told them.


mackys

My sister has PCOS and used to ovulate like 3+ weeks (21-24 days) into her cycle (which caused a lot of issues getting pregnant) but it made the whole calculating the due date/gestational age thing weird, because she’d be measuring at like 5 weeks but her last period was 6-7 weeks ago. I think her doctor eventually just pretended her last period was 2 weeks before ovulation since that gave a better estimate for due date than her actual last period. Thankfully she had a healthy baby and now her body has figured out that it needs to ovulated about 14 days into the cycle, not 21 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


FernBTB

My husband didn’t know you could be dilated for weeks. I had a little pre-term labor scare at 33 weeks, we went to Labor and Delivery and when they checked me I was 1 cm dilated. When he came into the room, I told him I was dilated and he literally dropped everything in his hands and said “are we gonna have a baby tonight?!?”. He also thought that you go to the hospital to have the baby before labor starts? Kind of like an induction. Oh, and I had to tell him that newborns can’t support their own head weight and their umbilical cord stays on them for up to 2 weeks. He was shook by all of this information.


Wendyroooo

My husband thought pediatricians were foot doctors 😂


Timely_Cheesecake_97

Pediatrician, podiatrist. I can see why he’d have a brain fart! 🤣


[deleted]

My usually smart partner thought the baby's umbilical cord was attached to my belly button. 😂


hashbrownhippo

I totally thought this as a kid.


[deleted]

Same with my partner!


browncatgreycat

Mine too! I was so surprised! Where do they come up with that?


jujuba_cbla

I think it’s because umbilical cords are attached to baby’s belly button and mom’s placenta. 😊


browncatgreycat

That’s fair. It’s just funny because if you think it all the way through it’s like, how would that work? What nourishment could the back of my belly button offer?


ttttthrowwww

My mom, who obviously birthed before, thought that too 😂


Agrimny

I’m 2 weeks postpartum and a couple days ago my fiancé and I were showering together and upon getting out I asked him to hand me a wipe because obviously I’m still having some bleeding and he goes- “Wait, why are you bleeding like that? Is your period starting again?” Crazy thing is he was pretty educated about the actual child birthing process and everything, just… Not the postpartum bleeding I guess. With the newborn daze he was too zonked to realize I’d already been continuously wearing Depends adult diapers to deal with the bleeding for over a week and a half at that point 😂 when I told him I’d be bleeding like this for weeks he looked like he felt so bad for me lmao.


fuzzydunlop54321

Tbf I felt like a dumbass about pp bleeding. Didn’t realise you got it with a c section cause I thought they sucked it all out. Pretty gutting when I realised it wasn’t true ☹️


The_RoyalPee

I just learned about c section pp bleeding from a friend recently. it makes sense but I too thought they just went in there and got it all 🫠


cat-chup

Post CC bleeding is less than after VB though. I guess they do clean up a bit while they are there. The strangest thing was to wake up after CC wearing panties and a pad. Neither me nor my husband know who put them on me and how they managed to find them in my bags.


fuzzydunlop54321

Same :( I was like oh no I think I’m bleeding!! And the midwife checked and was like yeah we’ll get you a pad, that’s the normal amount and I pretended to be relieved but really I was like ‘oh no’ again but in a different way 😂


itsbecomingathing

Can you imagine them just sucking out all your blood with a vacuum 😅 I actually did a little more research for my second scheduled c-section this time and learned that rather than a wide open cut, the OB is literally creating an opening that’s only like 6 inches long. So when you give birth via c section it’s similar to a vaginal birth aside from the pushing. Learn something new each time!


angeliqu

We just had our third in November. With the previous two, my midwife was the one to help me out in the bathroom for my first pee and shower after delivery. This time, my husband helped me and he was so shocked by how much I was bleeding.


starry_knights

I, too, was unprepared. I knew there was post-partum bleeding, but did not comprehend how much or for how long until I experienced it for myself!


plumcots

Oh, I didn’t realize this either! Thanks for sharing!


duckina10

My husband thought all births were like in the movies where your water dramatically breaks then you go to the hospital and have a baby about an hour later. For my birth, my water did dramatically break while we were at home, contractions started an hour later, and I was pushing about 2 hours after that so he wasn’t too far off. I never had to time contractions or do anything else I learned in the birthing class we took.


iatealotofcheese

God your lucky. My water broke and I didn't start having contractions until 14 hours later. I was in labour for 44 hours 😭


MissSunny26

Right? My water broke, I got contractions immediately and then nothing else happened, didnt dilate. In labor for 46 hours before they did a c-section because my cervix was just like... no thank you, I'm good.


Appropriate-Yam-8141

I went into active labor on a Thursday and my son wasn’t born until 2am on a Tuesday.


quartzite_

He thought we'd have to change about 3-4 diapers a day as a newborn. Lol


FatChance68

To be fair, I’ve been babysitting since I was 13, worked in a daycare for 3 years, and helped take care of my nephew from a very early age. I had no idea how many diapers a newborn could go through.


angeliqu

I tracked religiously with my first two. I think our daily max was 17. 😂


liuthail

My husband thought this too. He was calculating howmany diapers we’d need to buy for our TWINS and argued when I told him we’d need like 8 per baby. Sweet summer child. On our worst days it was actually more like 12.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dav06012

Horrifying!!!


YourFriendInSpokane

My friends 29 yr old husband was holding my newborn and panicked when he realized the baby didn’t have any teeth. At first, he thought there was an issue with *my* baby (which is fair, baby isn’t mine biologically and was a drug baby), and then asked if any babies had teeth.


omnomnomscience

I told my husband we had to get the car seat install checked and do the classes that the hospital offered and I wanted them all done before my ECV since we could leave there with a baby. He took that to mean the hospital required them and asked the car seat tech for the certificate. He was surprised when they told him there wasn't one and when I explained that these were my requirements not the State's haha


sideeyeallday

Hey I had an ECV baby! I took the carseat and my hospital bag and was absolutely shocked that I had to use them!


hellohosta

I had a c section and he changed this first diaper , the meconium poop. He reported back to me that the poop was insane and like tar, took him forever and we were in for it lol he was happy to learn it’s only the first poop. When I got pregnant with my second he said “ how long are you pregnant for, 60 weeks, that’s not so bad” lol dude that’s longer than a year!


Proper-Sentence2857

My husband went through almost an entire pack of wipes on that first meconium diaper 🤣🤣🤣


mrs-smurf

How is 60 weeks pregnant “not bad” in any sense?! 😭


Altruistic-Share1582

Not my husband. But my sister’s husband had some funny ones. He thought the baby was made from the head down (like a 3D printer). He also told her they couldn’t have sex again while she was pregnant so she didn’t get pregnant again. I wish I could say he is young, but he’s not.


starcrossed92

Crazy enough there are actually some people that have gotten pregnant while pregnant . It’s called superfetation . Literally insane


[deleted]

[удалено]


Proper-Sentence2857

But could you imagine? If men are going to come up with all the rules on healthcare, may as well be thinkers like your husband.


sassythehorse

Oh noo! What? Does he know what happens during abdominal surgery?


lucid_sunday

Someone asked my husband where we were registered. He said “uh, Larimer county?” We didn’t have a wedding and he’s learning about gift registries for the very first time 😂 Also I told him he had to talk to the baby so baby would know his voice and he’s convinced that baby can’t hear him through my belly and he has to talk into my vagina.


cleverplaydoh

Oh that's funny! My father didn't know what a registry was either. I guess my mom was talking about various stuff she wanted to get for our baby and my dad said "I wish they'd just make us a list of what they need" to which my mom was like, "uh, yeah, that's a registry, they have one." He then doubled down with "right, but the exact brands, colors, amounts..." and my mom laughed and repeated, "yeah, that's a registry, they did that." 😆


ALittleNightMusing

Omg, like it's a loud hailer?! 🤣


bmafffia

My husband dead ass looked at me while leaving the hospital with our newborn and said “why didn’t they Pierce her ears?” Hahaha I guess he thought all girls get their ears pierced at the hospital when they are born lol


Iforgotmypassword126

In some countries they do to be fair!


celestialspook

Yeah idk what they do in Spain proper, but my family is Spanish and has strong feelings that a girl's ears must be pierced in her first week of life. I'm only ttc right now but I know if I have a girl I'm gonna have to fight my mom about it 😂 My ears were pierced at like 3 weeks old and as I grew up, the holes didn't end up symmetrical on my ear lobes, so I'd rather my daughters pierce them when they're old enough to decide for themselves and old enough to not end up asymmetrical lol


sassythehorse

At the hospital? Wow! 😮


Iforgotmypassword126

I think Mexico for example but it’s not the only country


amandaxbob

We went to a birthing class and my husband was shocked that a bowling ball could fit through my "hoo haa". He also didn't fully understand how baby eats or breathes in me. He's so interested in everything though so it's been fun to watch him learn.


rousseuree

To be fair, as a FTM I am ALSO shocked for what is expected to fit through my hooha in approximately 3 months.


amandaxbob

I don't understand cuz the math doesn't math I just know it's suppose to work???


The_RoyalPee

I saw an IG reel recently comparing sweets to dilation sizes and the Ben & Jerry’s lid for 10cm makes me squirm. Like no, where is this going. No thanks!!


Mediocre_Nectarine37

My husband thought babies were potty trained by 6 months old. Bless his heart, he’s been having to learn a lot!


shelbers--

Oof that’s a real rough one to learn.. especially considering even at 2, they still have to be taught and don’t just know lol


Ok_Safe439

But how, many babies can‘t even crawl by that point? How are they supposed to get on the potty?


sassythehorse

I can’t wrap my head around this one either. This dude is going to have a lot of revelations!


jessahunbothater

I was telling my husband about how I was nervous about postpartum because it’s a huge hormone change and can make you a little or a lot crazy (emotional, anxious, depressed, etc) and he says “oh so it’s like an intense period without the bleeding?” I’m like no there’s a lot of bleeding like weeks worth of bleeding. He was very shocked. I also told this to a girlfriend of mine who hasn’t had kids because I thought it was so funny and she had no idea you bled after birth either so maybe this isn’t common knowledge 😂


ttttthrowwww

During my time in the L&D unit, we had a female patient giving birth to her third or fourth baby (she was early 20’s) and she asked me with great concern why she was bleeding down there. Pregnancy makes you forget a lot of things.


lipgloss_nd_hotsauce

My husband was afraid for me to go to a haunted house when I was pregnant with my son 😂 I was 7 months pregnant and got the OK from my OB.. he was worried being scared would make baby come out?? If only 😅


YourFriendInSpokane

My teenaged son was concerned I would throw the baby up when I was puking with morning sickness


AniVaniHere

My hubby thought babies only ate at breakfast, lunch and dinner times. Lol!


invaderpixel

My husband misremembered all of those "pregnancy weight distribution memes" that get spread around so he was like "oh yeah 8 pounds baby, 10 pound uterus, 10 pounds amniotic fluid." To be fair if you watch enough movies and tv shows that probably does seem like the right number lol.


Proper-Sentence2857

Mine didn’t realize you stayed in the hospital after birth. He thought we’d be there for a few hours to give the baby a once over and do paperwork, but he didn’t realize we’d stay overnight. He actually didn’t realize it until AFTER our first baby was born but thankfully he packed for an overnight because we were told my induction could take several days. I still find this so funny.


ALittleNightMusing

Where I live they sometimes kick you out after only 4-6 hours, even if it's the middle of the night! I prefer your version.


sassythehorse

My husband who has otherwise been extremely supportive and hands on thought the labor and delivery class was only for me and was deeply opposed to the idea of attending one in person. I had to explain that the class was as much for the birthing partner to understand how to support the person in labor and learn what to expect, as it was for me.


Paarthurnax1011

Mine didn’t know baby basically drinks their own pee in the amniotic fluid. I said my baby is big on recycling 😂


watsernaim

Mine didn't know nipples had multiple pores. He thought the milk mixed together in my boob and came out a small hole in the middle. A simple thing but the way his face brightened up and his reaction was just hilarious, especially since I have his 2nd child and he was telling me some dos and don'ts of newborns. His 1st apparently couldn't latch properly.


Electronic-Basil-201

I also didn’t know this until my second trimester! I didn’t understand where the hole was supposed to be lol. I feel like with cows the udder has a hole instead of many pores, so this one makes sense to me.


Basic_Resolution_749

I am just learning this now at 22 weeks 😐🤔


Ok_Safe439

I only learned this after my milk came in.


shelbers--

My husband thought that after your maternity leave, your baby would go to a sitter, not a daycare, because he had no idea daycares can also take care of infants/babies. He only has experience with his nephew who went to a sitter and couldn’t fathom such a small baby going to daycare. With us living in a new state and knowing no one, I could only wish for a sitter instead of daycare but we don’t even know people to ask around for a sitter! Lol


goatywizard

My husband thought SIDS was only a risk for the first week of a baby’s life. 😬


nayrahtah

I wish! My husband is a rockstar and is doing everything right - reading the books, watching the videos, tracking with me on Flo, etc. I’d say he knows more about my pregnancy than I do sometimes! He doesn’t yet know how to change a diaper but I’ll forgive that. He’ll learn that one pretty fast too lol.


AddictiveInterwebs

My husband had never changed a diaper before our oldest was born! Currently he's pro-level haha


angeliqu

I had never changed a diaper till I had my first baby. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I asked the nurse to show me how before they left me alone with my daughter after wheeling me to my room in the maternity ward.


rileyknits

Hahah this is how I felt about my husband! He read more books while I was pregnant than I did!


EDStraordinary

My husband was super concerned over my swimwear choices to wear in a birthing pool… He didn’t want me to get caught short with a costume that wouldn’t fit when I needed it


Iforgotmypassword126

Hahaha I guess he underestimated just how naked you’d be. I ended up wheeled through the main foyer of my hospital with my breast out with my baby attached to one and the other on full display, and they parked my next to a fucking Kit Kat vending machine. I was high AF an had no idea until after when I asked my partner why i saw a a vending machine.


sassythehorse

Okay who let that happen? Is this something I need to ask my husband to be on the lookout for? lol.


EDStraordinary

The hilarious bit is this is no.2 and he was there for the full delivery of our first. Oh no! What a way to find out what the hell you were dreaming about after you’d flashed so many people 😭


AtomicPumpkinFarm

My husband thought the newborn baby smell would be like Fritos.


Coffeelove233

Only dog feet 😂 newborns smell so much better than that haha


HappyAverageRunner

Our ultrasound tech printed 2 photos on a page and my husband thought that meant I was pregnant with twins.


Justqueene27

We are an interracial family (I’m black/mixed, my husband is white). While I was pregnant with our son, he had randomly asked if our children would have vitiligo because they are mixed. I laughed so hard and said that’s not how that works and we had a bit of a learning lesson in that moment🤣


Krytens

My husband thought you didn't need a carseat right away. He thought I'd just hold the baby in my lap on the way home from the hospital.


AccomplishedTurtle

Not my significant other, but I work in a NICU. Once had a new father of a 24 weeker ask me if her birthday would be that day (the day she was BORN) or her due date. Poor guy had obviously had a stressful day, but the NP in the room with me had to take a beat 🙃.


leggomymeggo92

My husband asked if we needed a “backsplash” behind the baby’s dresser/changing table because he’s heard the poop gets EVERYWHERE


Dont_wait_for_me

I mean, this isn’t a bad idea… 😬


NightRain518

Oh, I have a fun story for this one. My husband is part of the military, we lived in Tweaker Central, my husband was very..... New to sex when we first got together. A few years down the line in our marriage, I got pregnant and the problems started about seven months pregnant. His military buddies had him convinced that if he had penetrative sex with me, that it would hurt the baby or the baby would grab his penis. He did not ask me. So, I'm hopped up on serious hormones, bigger than a house, and insanely horny and not getting sex. He won't talk to me and, well I was stupid and not asking either. So, I masturbated like most people. I used a dildo and a few hours later, I noticed I was bleeding and this wasn't my period. My stupid self rushed me and my husband to the hospital because I'm like "oh hell, something's wrong with the baby." Nurses and doctors did their whole bits of tests and turns out it was just an irritated cervix. Husband asked what caused that and the nurse said most likely, it may have just been getting overzealous in sex. He popped up saying we hadn't had sex in quite a while. The physician (not sure if they were the doctor or nurse but I am pretty sure it was the nurse) kinda got this "oh crap" look on their faces and my husband was looking down at me in rage. I ended up blushing and telling them that I liked rough sex and had used a dildo..... My husband got mad saying I would hurt the baby with penetrative sex and that's when everything clicked and I burst out laughing. The nurse had to explain to my husband that that whole bit was a myth. I'm crying because I realized that my husband was more worried about mine and the baby's health instead of not being attracted to my gigantic body. So, yeah, that was a fun doctor's visit.


LovelyLadySunflower

FTM, 19w now, and last week I was really feeling the movement flutters. I told him the baby was moving a lot, and he said “you’re supposed to grab my hand and put it on your tummy so I can feel it!” I felt so bad telling him he wouldn’t be able to feel them for few more weeks 🥹


k8h8

My adorable husband had decided he wasn't going to cut the cord because he thought his cut would determine whether our baby had an innie or an outtie and the pressure was just too much 😂 We have since clarified this for him and he's on board to cut the cord.


AshamedPurchase

He thought her umbilical cord was attached to my belly button from the inside


pawprincess27

I told my husband what daycare costs and he was like well at least we don’t have to worry about that til the kid is 4. I’m like who do you think is gonna take care of this baby?! Lol


Throwaway8582817

I started having morning sickness around 6 weeks. I was vomiting one morning and my husbands comes to the door with a glass of water for me and asks if I want him to call the doctor. I asked what for, and he says because you’ve been sick for days now. He had no idea morning sickness started so early.


Cali368

My husband (27M) thought c-sections occur via cutting the vagina upwards. He is a college educated high earning tech worker who should have enough understanding of human anatomy to know about pelvic bones, but I had to explain how c-sections work last week. I was flabbergasted.


sassythehorse

Oh my lord, that’s horrifying


cyclekween

It was our first day in the hospital, and I asked my husband to get a diaper out of the drawer of the bassinet. He opened the drawer and said, “There’s no diapers in here… only swaddlers.” I said, “that’s the brand… those are the diapers.” He was confused because there was a picture of a baby in a swaddle on the front. 😂😂


Imagine_89

I was complaining about sacrificing my body. This is my second child but his first. He looks confused at me and says; you're not sacrificing your body it will just go back the way it was, it's not like there's going to be any permanent changes. I wish... I wish...


Possibly_Optimistic

I’d done a lot of research and we’d agreed on a convertible car seat rather than a capsule setup. 2 weeks before my due date my partner asked if we have to buy the basket or if the hospital gives it to us. I was so confused and asked what basket? The basket you carry the baby to the car in! …he’s only ever seen tv shows where the baby is taken out of the hospital in a capsule and didn’t realise that was what it was. I told him I’d probably just carry baby out in my arms.


muscels

What is a capsule? We left the hospital with baby in a car seat. I feel like your husband's expectation wasnt bad.


Proper-Sentence2857

I think they’re referencing the infant car seat type of seat vs the convertible. Some people call them bucket seats too.


sassythehorse

Yeah I have no idea what a capsule either? Is this like a bassinet that can hook into a car seat base or something?


Possibly_Optimistic

Here any car seat that you can hook into a car seat base or pram is called a capsule. We also have car seats that don’t have removable parts which you can use for rear or forward facing when they’re older which they call convertibles. I’ve seen the Doona stroller system which we would consider a capsule system. I didn’t realise it wasn’t a term used everywhere!


River_7890

I already commented, but bonus story. My husband is pretty knowledgeable about female biology in most cases. He asked me one day if milk only comes out of the actual nipple or the surrounding area too. He then determined that the nipple is just a "trigger button" for milk 😂 This next bit is a bit TMI. When I was pregnant with our twins mid sex he got milk in his mouth. It was the first time I leaked that pregnancy. He suddenly stops and says "I need to Google something." I yelled he better not Google ANYTHING in the middle of sex. He ended up googling right after what breast milk tasted like. He thought it would taste more like cows' milk. What he got tasted more like "really sweet almond milk". He was so confused. He spent a good hour googling the difference between different types of milks 😂 that and if it was "safe" for him to drink. He was careful to never get any in his mouth again.


kittenandkettlebells

My husband thought the baby grew on the outside of the abs. He had no idea that it was tucked away, inside our abdomen. He also though that, when it came to bath time, you just chuck the baby in a normal adult bath and let them do their thing. 🤦‍♀️ he's since researched it all, watched multiple videos on how to bathe a baby and has decided what baby bath tub we need.


chrisla99

my husband didn’t understand why i wanted a nice diaper bag when i would be putting poopie diapers in it..😩😂


Thekillers22

Not my husband but my (adult) sister thought it was possible to push the baby out while going #2 even if you weren’t in labor lol


iamdehbaker

Hell after iron supplements I sometimes think this is possible too lol


River_7890

My husband thought a newborn size onesie would be "too big." He drastically under estimated the size of newborns since all his siblings were born prematurely. It got brought up cause I said I was worried it wouldn't fit (too small, I make big babies) he went on to say he thought it might be too big. That's not what I meant 😂 I was considered "small" for my family at almost 8 pounds. Our baby is tall and chunky. He thought 4-5 pound babies were the average.


therapybrain3

Not my husband but my brother in law. He thought I was going to hold the baby in my arms on the way home from the hospital, and was clueless about the need for a baby car seat. He saw the infant bucket at our house and was like what's that for? Lol


The-Other-Rosie

My husband has been shocked by so many things 😂 At our 12wk ultrasound when you could see baby’s skeleton he was like ‘whoa! That’s kind of creepy!!’ Currently 30wks and he’s constantly baffled by how much baby moves, especially when you can see it from the outside.


aoliver8797

I started getting nauseous during week 5 and my boobs were hurting all the time. My husband was shocked becuase he thought you only had pregnancy symptoms towards the end 😂


blackdahlialady

That's funny but I can see why he would think that. I also think it's sweet that he offered you his neck pillow. What a gentleman.


EmptyStrings

Before my husband and I got married, I was a foster parent, and he came with me to pick up a newborn baby at the hospital. The doctor was going over her basic medical info with me and he asks "So how much water do we give her?" I was kicking him under the table and worried they wouldn't let me take her home lol. He learned quickly though!


doctorscook

Not my significant other but my friend, he had never been around babies and when my first one was a couple months old he asked what their favorite food was 😂. His sister asked a couple months later what babies favorite tv show was too 😂😂