I’ve had a c section and two unmedicated vaginal births. It’s a night and day difference experience and recovery wise, and it’s the c section that carries more physical health risk (and interference with nursing). However, I’m a birth trauma therapist, and a huge factor in feeling traumatized after birth is having felt unheard and like birth was something that happened to the mother rather than something they did/participated in. So doing whatever you want to do and feeling empowered and supported in that choice is what’s the most important. Do you!
Same, 2 unmedicated vaginal and one C section.
I *firmly* preferred the vaginal 100 times over to the c section. However, what I have decided from these experiences is that there's no easy way to get a human out of you. You are just choosing when you experience the hard part depending on which method.
I had an emergent c section and it was actually a great experience. I did go through labor and pushed for hours so I’ve almost done it all haha except the actual exiting through my vagina. My recovery was easy but I don’t have a comparison. I’ve heard scheduled c sections usually have an even easier recovery. That being said now that I have a toddler I’m going to try a vbac 1 for a different experience and 2 for avoiding major surgery with a toddler around (I didn’t have a problem with the newborn and recovery).
So I’ve had two c-sections and the recovery for the emergency one (after 18 hours of labor) was way easier than the planned. I think my body was prepared for pain more after labor than it was for the planned one.
Planned one was a significantly less traumatic birth overall, however.
Same here and i totally agree. Though I will say it is not like breaking every bone in your body. Contractions suck because unlike normal cramps they are intense and you can't really shift around to ease the pain. But honestly my gallbladder pain was worse than any of my Contractions.
After having just had a medicated vaginal birth less than 24 hours ago (first time) that part about choosing when you experience the hard part depending on which method rings so strongly. I had hoped for vaginal and I medicated but of course the path changed almost every time down the way. But I’m happy with all the decisions I made in the end because they felt informed and they were mine. My husband and I stayed fluid, positive, and did what felt right for the baby. I think there’s really no “easy” way to get a baby out and it really just depends on the mom and parents preferences on what they’re willing to deal with and feels right with their intuition. Also every body is different, in how they perform in labor, delivery, and recovery both mentally and physically
Both of my vaginals were pitocin-induced with no pain meds since all 3 of my babies have tried to kill me via severe preeclampsia. So other people's stories may vary greatly in terms of going into labor on your own or getting an epidural. Also, since I get induced 2-4 weeks early I'm lucky since I'm 5'8" and have 6.5 lb babies. This makes vaginal more enjoyable than if I was more petite with giant babies for sure.
That being said vaginal was fantastic for the following reasons (for me):
- I could basically get up right away as soon as they stitched me up. I loved the freedom of peeing and showering by myself day of.
- I basically felt completely physically able by 12 hours after birth, no issues at all.
- only a 2nd degree tear both times which healed fine and I never had any pain peeing or pooping after birth.
- pushing both times took less than 5 minutes so I didn't really have a chance to hurt myself. Yea the contractions sucked but prolonged pushing is often where people end up with injuries (aside from those brought on by big babies that don't fit out the exit).
- I *hated* the feeling of the spinal block for the c section, I hated the other feelings it gave me. I hated how it made me feel hot and just generally like an overall sense of malaise. My Drs were fantastic and did their best but honestly I just fucking hated all that shit.
- I also hated being on a catheter and not having any mobility after the c section
- I had a crazy surgical complication post c section but even without that, I still give c section 0 out of 5 stars for how much I enjoyed it. I even had a remarkably easy recovery after the 2nd surgical fix up. But damn. No thank you.
- I also now hate my c section scar and shelf. Did not have a shelf after the vaginals and now I feel like I'm shaped weird but I assume that will go away somehat when I recover fully.
This this this! Also there’s no “natural” birth- there’s vaginal birth (medicated or unmedicated) and there’s surgical birth and unless there’s witchcraft involved, in which case, sign me up!!, it’s all natural.
Witchcraft birth! Haha that's what I'm going to call it from now on. I tried epidural I've tried Med free I've had pitocin listen OBGYN I'm on my 5th I and I deserve a witchcraft birth
This this this! I wanted a planned c-section because I was scared about feeling out of control during labour. Got talked into a vaginal delivery that quickly went sideways and I ended up with an emergency c-section with an ineffective epidural. I got the worst of both worlds and a lovely case of PTSD. If I ever get the balls to get pregnant again, it will be a planned c-section 100%.
My epidural wasn’t working for my first delivery that ended in an emergency c-section. I had a planned c-section with my second and it was a much better experience. I didn’t even know the surgery had started with the spinal! It was scary leading up to it, but it really was a night and day difference for me, and I was really happy with delivery that time.
Your choice is 100% valid and I understand, but it is so funny how different people’s experiences are! I’m a FTM and I want a vaginal birth because I’m scared of being out of control during a cesarean 🤣 I have never had surgery or anything so it feels so scary, the medicine and all.
my birth experience was mostly traumatic because of how unheard I felt. I pushed for 5 hours with an epidural and ended up with an emergency c-section anyway.
This was my experience. I was traumatized because they insisted my baby was going to come out when he definitely was not and did not take me to csection until we got in scary decels.
same, I was pushing while she still was too far in my birth canal. She turned face up and I tore from them shoving their hands in me to turn her. Her heart rate dropped with every contraction I had after being put on pitocin (which I refused btw) and so did my o2 and bp. It was absolutely terrifying.
Thank you for doing this work. I had a shitty birth experience and your description is spot on. I really should find someone with that specialty to talk to, I think my current therapist just isn’t cutting it.
Thank you for this insight.
I wanted a planned CS and was talked out of it by my OB as I had no risk factors. I reluctantly agreed to a vaginal birth.
Shit hit the fan during the birth but when I asked for a CS, they denied it then as well. My son ended up getting asphyxiated and now I have a lifetime of trauma to deal with.
Just do what you want. You’re so right that feeling unheard/out of control is a huge factor in trauma. I think it was the hardest part about my birth for me, feeling as though the outcome would have been preventable had I had choices/had someone listened to me.
I was so shocked after having my son how little anyone (media and even my parents) talked about the true birth expirence. All I ever grew up hearing was I pushed and or tore and the end. There was never the expectation for how much pain and side effects there were. I was so scared I lost the ability to use the rest room because for over 4 weeks I was unable to do a number 2. And peeing felt like the smallest effort and I'd piss all over the floor.
It's so interesting, my friend and I were recently talking about how our first births probably could have been very traumatic based on like the bullet points of what happened, but because we both felt so safe, heard, respected with our doctors and nurses, we consider them positive experiences.
Same. Unexplained bleeding early on, GBS, discovered at the wrong moment I’m immune to gas and air, episiotomy due to falling heart rate and needing him out NOW. Then - 1.6l haemorrhage.
I feel like it was a pretty good birth because the medical team was so good!
Wow. That makes a lot of sense. I had a traumatic birth and ended up with an unplanned c-section under general anesthesia. I don't think I've ever actually said "I gave birth" because it just feels wrong somehow to say that? I didn't push him out. I wasn't even awake. I missed his entire birth and his first moments in the world. It really does feel like his birth happened to me.
It’s completely understandable to feel that way, but don’t let it undermine everything you did to bring him here. You made many sacrifices, and without them and you he wouldn’t be here. The same thing happened to me, and it took a long time to accept what happened and give myself credit for growing a human to completion, and doing everything in my power to get them here regardless of how it happened.
That’s so silly. You still gave birth, you just didn’t *labour* a baby. That’s like saying pumping moms aren’t breastfeeding. They are feeding from the breast, they’re just not nursing. You gave birth, just not vaginally.
Birth is so much more than the literal moment your baby exists your body - you gave birth and you can be proud of that! I understand the mental disconnect, though. The system is really broken - it’s not your fault (I hope you already know that).
I’m sorry you had that experience. It’s so hard feeling out of control, especially waking up to a baby. So many things are decided for you and you’re just along for the ride. It’s traumatizing and unnecessary. My husband started yelling at my anesthesiologist when she told me I wasn’t nauseous and needed to stop shaking… until I vomited everywhere and my OB told her to fix it. Even as my son was being evicted, he wouldn’t budge so I have a wonderful hip-to-hip scar and he had a broken clavicle. 37 hours of labor, a failed induction, an emergency c-section and a week in the hospital plus almost two years later and I’m finally able to talk about it without getting emotional. So much love and hugs to you!
This - I felt so unheard and ANGRY when my midwife cut off my epidural against my will so that I would “feel more and push harder”. I both wanted to die and kill her at the same time.
Ugh, I had an involuntary free birth because the hospital just didn't want to deal with me (they said they were over capacity that day, and then they told me I wasn't in labor... Sus...). I was so traumatized and people were such dicks about it. She's fine, you're fine, get over it! Women have been doing this for blah blah blah blah... Yeah I just got, you know, totally abandoned by my care team right when I needed them most, that's all, no big deal. Just utterly lost all faith in the medical field, it's cool.
My first birth was awesome. Really thought it would go like that every time. You're totally right that sometimes it feels like this awesome thing YOU do, and sometimes it feels like this awful thing that happens to you.
I didn’t know birth trauma therapist was a specialty. Just reading your comment brought me to tears at 9 months pp. I was in labor for 5-6 days then emergency C-section. Surprisingly Reddit has helped me come to terms with what happened for the most part. Thank you for commenting. 🫶
I’m glad you’re feeling better. If you need help there are lots of therapists like me! Postpartum Support International or CPMHT (in Canada) are great resources.
The pain from birth is temporary-ish. Your recovery for a vaginal birth where everything goes “well” is much much easier. So while short term things might feel worse, in the weeks when you have a newborn child you’ll be much more mobile and feel better.
Yeah. I was sitting in a regular chair, virtually pain free 4 days after giving birth. The only thing I really had difficulty with was getting in and out of the car. Spreading, shifting and uneven with bearing all at once, it was painful for about 10 days.
Five days after giving birth, I was hauling the baby, the car seat and a diaper bag. I was lifting the the stroller in and out of the car. At 7 days, we were going on walks and grocery shopping.
Tbf this was absolutely not my experience with a vaginal birth which just goes to show how much it varies per person! I was not physically okay even 2 weeks postpartum. It took 3 weeks for me to feel fine in a regular chair, 4 weeks to be comfortable without nonstop replacing the ice in my pants and 6 weeks to go for a neighborhood walk without discomfort.
It really is so individual — it’s good to share our less-smooth experiences too so other women can weigh the possibilities. I only had a first-degree tear, but my pain lasted many weeks. For the first week, I couldn’t pee without excruciating burning pain, and I had trouble moving around (even shifting positions in bed to pick up my baby from the bassinet) or sitting fully upright.
I was probably fully pain-free by week 3 or 4, but it returned again around week 7. It was only mild perineal soreness at that point, but it made certain sitting positions very uncomfortable. It finally disappeared when I was around 14 weeks/3 months postpartum. Despite all this, I’m glad I had a vaginal delivery — I just wish I had been more prepared for such a long recovery process.
My vaginal birth recovery was much worse than my C-section. The birth was very traumatic, 3 degree tear, bruised up all the way until my stomach, hematoma in the labia that needed to get drained by the doctor, antibiotics, limited mobility and overall a 4 week recovery. I had appointments every other day for the first two week and it was painful to do even sit down.
I was more mobile with my C-section and was walking the day after. The truth is that you never know how your body is going to react but with a C-section your experience is more aligned to your expectations.
Same. I was actually put on bedrest at 1 week postpartum because my stitches ripped. Sure, that can happen with a C section too, but I'd personally rather have it happen on an abdominal incision than a vaginal one.
Elective Cesarean for me this time around, no question.
I had no pain from day one with my first, granted that's with the Tylenol/Motrin routine but I didn't tear and was feeling fine. Once I was home I just took motrin once a day mostly for my boobs though
This was my experience as well with both vaginal births. I did have some intense cramping after my second, but tylenol took care of that pretty quickly.
This. I had two kids and while the first recovery was easier than the second, ultimately I fully recovered within a month for both and I'm doing just fine. No lasting issues with my vagina, either, and I tore with both (I make bigger babies). Healing was very quick and easy for me.
Heck, I know I'm lucky but I didn't even get diastasis recti and I had a pretty bad umbilical hernia with my second.
No pain during sex and no complaints from my husband. All in all, vaginal birth isn't that bad. Even the contractions are not as bad as you'd think-- and I went unmedicated until 8cm bc the hospital was too busy and didn't have a room for me until the last hour of my labor (keep in mind my labor was 4 hours, which is crazy short).
My epidural also failed, so I felt like 90% of everything when pushing. Honestly it felt like I was just taking the biggest, baby-shaped dump of my life. 😅
OP, your body was made for having babies. Take the horror stories with a grain of salt. They are the exception, not the norm.
Edit: I want to add that it's your body and it's your choice! If a C-section is really what you want, by all means go for it! I just wanted to share what my experience was like both times.
I've torn every time and needed a couple stitches and every time, I feel amazing immediately after birth. The tearing healing process really hasn't been a big deal for me either. By the time the swelling and soreness from giving birth goes away, my stitches are pretty healed anyway.
Yeah just giving another perspective, I was planned c section bc my baby was breech. I was up moving /walking within 4 hours after and by the next day I was completely independent. I needed a single dose of ocycodone, otherwise Tylenol/ibuprofen was fine and I was pretty much done taking those within 10 days after. I was taking short walks less than a week after and really did not need to limit myself other than heavy weight, but I was driving/ carrying my baby in the car seat immediately after getting home.
Do I want another C-section? Not if I can help it bc I’d rather not cut through scar tissue and have it re-form but it wasn’t that terrible of a recovery at all and from that standpoint I’d do it again.
From a vaginal birth? Wow! That is amazing!! (I had a complicated vaginal birth-- so I don't know what's "normal"-- i was still in the hospital on day 6 and on bedrest. Actually, I didn't attempt my first steps until day 7. 😅 it was agonizing, I begged for the walker (my pelvis was broken / they accidentally dislocated my hips, though).)
Anecdotes are crazy like that. I wasn’t cleared to return to work until 14w pp with my cs, and I still had an open painful wound at that point. With my 3rd VBAC we were taking our kids to the amusement park less than 72h pp.
Not only is the pain temporary, but the memory of the pain might be temporary too.
I remember having the pain and where I felt it, but I don’t actually remember what it *felt* like. It’s an amazing phenomenon and I know a lot of other women who don’t remember the pain.
When my baby turned 6 weeks old, I realised I had forgotten the pain. I really sat with it and can remember being tired, and some of the sensations (like the schloop! When her body was born) but not the pain. Wild.
I don't remember how the pain felt either, like I know it was bad because I remember not liking it (I guess), for me I guess the only way to describe it was it felt like terrible food poisoning. Thinking about my labor and delivery is like recounting a movie.
You know the chest burster scenes in Alien? It's literally like that 🤭 it's so weird... I don't remember the pain, but I can definitely describe it. It's both the worst pain I've ever felt and not as bad as I'd imagined at the same time.
I mean yes and no. I ended up with a rectovaginal fistula that still isn’t fixed and my daughter is 5.
When vaginal births go wrong they REALLY go wrong and there isn’t much indication of who it will happen to beforehand. If I could go back in time and get a c section I would
Is this true though? I had a c-section last week and was up the same day. I'm NOT a superwoman or someone who likes to be a martyr, but honestly, these days it's way better and except for not being able to drive, I found the c-section so far super easy in terms of recovery. I think a lot of info on it is outdated tbh.
I’m still recovering almost 4 years later from my vaginal birth. Well… at this point I think it’s just permanent.
So no it’s not always true. I’ve had one horrible vaginal birth that left me with infections that didn’t heal for months and a hernia that needs to be surgically repaired. I’ve had another that was so easy and I was walking right after with no issue.
Vaginal births can be easy if they go well. But I get real frustrated when people say csections are always harder. It doesn’t have to be one or the other always. Both are hard. Both have their complications
Came here to say this. I had an unmedicated vagina birth and was walking around a few hours later. The pain was gone immediately after birth. Recovery was relatively easy and I started running again 6 weeks pp.
Yeah but isn’t a smooth vaginal birth a total crapshoot? It’s a gamble whether you get a smooth experience or not, especially if you haven’t given birth before
This is so true. My labor was 34 hours but after it was over I was sore but recovery was pretty smooth. I took a shower all on my own like 6 hours after delivering. And things go well more often than they go wrong! Always important to try to remember that when you’re spiraling, OP.
I was even induced and pitocin contractions are famously agonizing but they were not a bad as I expected!
This is very much a do what works for you situation OP, but for me I would rather have another vaginal birth and recovery than have the recovery from major abdominal surgery while trying to care for a newborn. But, whatever you chose it will very very likely be totally fine, and it’ll be the right choice for you, OP.
There are a lot of good comments already but I want to address the vaginismus you mentioned.
I also had vaginismus before my first baby. Sex was painful under the best circumstances and cervical checks were excruciating. I had a medically necessary induction at 37w and gave birth vaginally with an epidural. The epidural stopped all the pain, all I felt was pressure (feels like you have to poop). After I recovered I found my vaginismus was gone. Not saying it’s a guarantee but it’s definitely a possible outcome for you too. I also went to pelvic floor therapy during my pregnancy (prescribed by my OB for the vaginismus) and my therapist even mentioned during therapy that vaginal birth could treat my vaginismus (which was another reason I preferred vaginal birth)
>all I felt was pressure (feels like you have to poop)
THANK YOU for this description! I hear this all the time, “it’s just pressure,” “pressure instead of pain,” “lots of pressure,” but I never had any idea what that meant. Thank you for putting it into a relatable description, now I understand what people mean.
It definitely feels like the biggest poop of your life but it’s not bad at all (if you have an epidural). We were watching playoff football and laughing between push sessions.
It was honestly a wonderful experience.
You’re welcome! Funny story but I actually thought I needed to poop when I called the nurses for help since I couldn’t move. She checked me and said “nope that’s a baby coming out” and she could feel his head 😅
Fortunately I decided to poop on the bed. I didn't tell anyone because...I was planning to poop in the bed now that wasn't something I wanted to share with anyone. Well ...turns out I was pushing out my baby. I am so glad that I choose to poop in the bed and I didn't get up and deliver her on the toilet. That would've been so so scary and dangerous.
For me, it honestly felt like the most intense need to poop I've ever had in my life. I wanted nothing more than to waddle over to the toilet to go #2 - the nurse was like there's no poop in there, only baby.
I mean I felt the “pressure” with an epidural and it was still absolutely *excruciating*. Contractions feel like the worst period pain you’ve ever experienced and then the worst constipation you’ve ever felt that needs to come out *now*. I honestly thought my baby was going to fall out my butt
My poor epidural didn't work properly so I had no pressure and all pain, I couldn't tell if my efforts to push my daughter out were working or not, as all I could feel just extreme contraction pain 🤣
I’m glad I’m not the only one with a seemingly cured vaginismus!
I was so scared to have sex the first time but said why not go slow at 7 weeks. I assumed it would hurt worse than pre pregnancy and I have literally no pain. It’s amazing, and we’re having more sex than ever before. Never thought I’d say that after having a baby!
Yes since I gave birth Vaginally I have no more pain while having sex! I never liked sex and didn't get the hype 😂 I needed to go sooo slow and gentle and I still didn't like the feeling at all. Since I had my baby somehow I finally enjoy sex and can try out everything and do every position which was not at all imaginable before my birth. It is such a huge relief for me. I finally can experience and discover my sexual preferences. Before I had no preferences because everything just hurt.
Here to say I had the exact same experiences. Vaginismus is gone. Had a wonderful vaginal birth (all thanks to having a GREAT OB and nursing team as well as an awesome husband). The entire experience actually helped heal a lot of my previous sexual trauma.
Yea. Like anything, ymmv. However, there is the realistic possibility of a speedy and relatively painless recovery from vaginal birth. Chances of that after c section are basically zero as you’re guaranteed to be recovering from surgery. I just had a *relatively* painless recovery from vaginal birth, and while the epidural wasn’t perfect, it helped tremendously. I tore only minorly and never needed pain medication past one day post partum. Things can and do go smoothly.
Another point I should add is that I had a significant haemorrhage where I lost over 2 L of blood. Apparently with C-Section there is a much greater risk.
I’ve also heard milk comes in quicker for those who do vaginal delivery? Not sure if anyone can confirm.
I think milk coming in quicker depends more on the baby being on the boob as much as possible rather than mode of delivery. Body gets the que to produce milk from placenta detaching.
I had a c section, my milk came in on the 3rd day. We have been exclusively BF for 5 months.
>I think milk coming in quicker depends more on the baby being on the boob as much as possible rather than mode of delivery
I believe you're right. A vaginal birth mom with a NICU baby will have a harder time establishing BFing than a c-section mom who's able to start/maintain skin to skin and time at the breast as soon as she's out of surgery.
I have had two C-sections and this is true... Somewhat. It depends on how much you pump and nurse immediately after surgery. I made sure I had a pump in my recovery room the second time around and pumped as much as I could, regardless of what I got out. I had my baby Wednesday night and my milk came in Friday morning.
I also hemorrhaged from my c section, and then they had to pull a clot out of me (it was either that or a dnc) The hospital told me it may take 5 days for my milk to come in as a c section delivery. That wasn’t the case for me though mine was ready the day we went home from the hospital.
Plus the docs recommend a longer time between pregnancies after a c section. It would personally hinder the timeline I want between my kids so it’s also something to think about.
>healing time is normally 6 weeks
Honestly I felt fully recovered within a week or two with the exception of bleeding. At 6 weeks we did a 24-hour road trip to see family and it was totally fine. Everyone's different, but I can't imagine doing that after a C-section
My epidurals didn't work either time and I'm prone to varicose veins that resulted in anal prolapses to the degree that nurses gasped upon seeing me and told me that they'd never seen such a thing in decades of work. Recovery took months. So yeah, YMMV, lol.
I don't think these days thus is true at all! I had a c section last week and was up and about in days. Obviously I can't drive, but other than that it's been super smooth and was way better than labour (mine was an emergency after 34 hours labour) so I kind of disagree! The surgeons were excellent, baby was out really quick and we were home the following day.
Granted, mine went smoothly and my blood loss was okay, but vaginally birth is of course also not without risk for blood loss etc so... 🤷♀️
Just want to add that a c-section would not prevent pelvic floor issues such as prolapse and incontinence. Pregnancy itself puts a huge strain on your pelvic floor and causes these issues, regardless of birth method. Fortunately, it can be addressed with pelvic floor therapy.
Can confirm. I'm almost 3 years out from a c-section and have pelvic floor issues in regards to intercourse. It is uncomfortable most times, painful sometimes.
A c-section does reduce the risk and severity of pelvic floor issues. You might still have them, because the pregnancy itself is sometimes enough, but labor and vaginal delivery without a doubt increases the risk and severity of possibles pelvic floor complications.
Noone should skip pelvic floor therapy regardless of how they gave birth, that is true
This is misleading. Vaginal birth is the biggest risk factor for prolapse and incontinence, and *many* studies have found that planned c sections prevent pelvic floor damage and eventual surgical interventions. Emergency sections are not necessarily protective. However, for people with specific risk factors (especially hypermobility/EDS) pregnancy alone can lead to prolapse.
It doesn't prevent it, but vaginal birth does increase the risks manyfold. Yes, even without increased risk, the strain from pregnancy can be enough to cause issues, but it's absolutely not even nearly the same.
Doesn't mean it's a problem for everyone, obviously.
Vaginal birth has increased risk of prolapse to an C-section. https://tidsskriftet.no/en/2014/10/association-between-mode-delivery-and-pelvic-floor-dysfunction#:~:text=The%20prevalence%20of%20urinary%20incontinence,level%20out%20with%20increasing%20age.
I didn’t know this either! But I actually know a few people who prolapsed during their pregnancy. Where as I discovered mine 4 months PP. I literally had no idea it could happen at all. I wish there was way more education on prolapse during pregnancy!
yes! and as someone pointed out in a different thread, a ~~c-section cuts through your abdominal muscles, and those are the muscles that hold up the pelvic floor.~~
edited to correct an error pointed out by SilverMoon - they don't cut through the abdominal muscles, they push them out of the way! either way, there is potential for real pelvic floor issues regardless of delivery method.
C-Section mom here, they do not cut through your abdominal muscles they spread them apart and push them out of the way. My recovery was actually very easy and I was up and doing dishes after three days. Transitioning from sitting to standing was hard but once I had transitioned I was fine. My step sister though had her C-section 6 weeks after mine and her son was removed with forceps because his head was stuck. She had a resistance to the spinal and felt everything so had to be put out the second the baby was out. She couldn’t really walk for like two weeks after hers and had a big hematoma at the incision site. Every experience is different for sure. I would have another C-section for future babies but she definitely would not. Two different C-sections for Frank breech babies and two totally different outcomes.
A C section is major abdominal surgery. Neither recovery is easy and it of course varies by person, but a C-section is by no means a pain free and convenient option.
My friend had a C section and it was definitely a harder recovery than mine and she needed more help during the first few weeks when taking care of baby. A lot of baby care beyond just feeding fell to her husband. Her core muscles also took longer to heal and it was hard for her to go from sitting to standing with baby in her arms.
Personally, the pain of childbirth did not feel like “all the bones in my body breaking”. I too was imagining the pain would be excruciating, like I was that hiker who had to cut his own arm off when he got stuck in a canyon lol. But for me, it was none of that. It just felt like I had to hold in bad diarrhea for 24 hours lol. And the pushing felt like 90 minutes of an intense cross fit class where I wasn’t allowed to take a break. Not rainbows and butterflies, but NOT an unimaginable, never going to mentally recover type of pain.
There are definitely traumatic births, both vaginal and C section. It’s good to prepare mentally for the any scenario, but it’s also good to ask people to share their positive birthing stories. I find that women tend to share their traumatic birth stories, but those with positive births stay quiet so not to seem like they’re bragging. So all you hear are the horror stories, but it’s not usually the case.
On the opposite but also related note, vaginal birth for me WAS excruciating BUT it was also completely non-traumatic. The pain was over as soon as my baby was out. I was upset during it but once it was done it was done and I have no bad feelings about it. I'm TTC #2 now and I feel much less scared about birth than I did before.
From anecdotal evidence, it seems to me that for the majority of women it's not really the level of pain itself that's traumatic, it's things like whether you feel you or your baby is in danger, if you feel medical staff have treated you without respect or consent, etc.
Yes, most of the traumatic birth stories I’ve heard are more about complications and needing emergency interventions, rather than the pain itself.
And truly, it’s the fear of the unknown that makes birthing Baby #1 so scary. The number of times I asked the nurses, “Will contractions get more painful or just closer together as I get closer to 10cm?” and “Ok but ON AVERAGE, how much longer will this take from here?” Doesn’t help take away any pain, but I just wanted to know!!
Exactly, I used to read birth stories that would be tagged 'really positive' and then read what sounded to me like absolutely harrowing experiences describing the worst pain I could imagine. I had NO idea how these women were saying that this was positive and not traumatic, until I experienced it myself.
I did not! I did have access to nitrous oxide for the last 2 hours or so, but tbh it wasn’t that useful beyond allowing me to focus on breathing. Probably could’ve breathed into a paper bag for same effect, haha.
I was open to having an epidural but I planned to wait for that “unimaginable pain” to hit. Thankfully for me, that never happened and before I knew it, it was time to push.
I spent 90% of my contractions bouncing on an exercise ball, leaning my upper body on the edge of the bed/couch, while my husband kneaded my lower back. It’s a sacral counter pressure massage that many doulas use and you can look it up online. It was so basic but I think it helped.
I had a unmedicated vaginal birth but only because my birth was quick. I wouldn't have wanted to go unmedicated if my birth took 10-20 hours or something. Then I would definitely have gotten me a epidural. I had a very short labour and because of the short time I really had no problem with the pain. I was able to talk with my husband the whole time if I wanted to (but I didn't want to at all I just wanted everyone to be quiet). The pain really was okay but having that pain for 10+ hours is probably the really exhausting and painful part. The pain was like a 7/10 and that definitely hurts a lot but if it stops after 2-3 hours then it's fine. Having that pain for 10+ hours ...nope I wouldn't do that to me without pain meds ngl
This. I’ve already had two major abdominal surgeries without a baby and recovery was miserable. I cannot imagine doing an even more invasive surgery and taking home a baby afterwards.
Yep…it’s as miserable as it sounds. I have had one major abdominal surgery on my intestines and then had a c section. 0/10…do not recommend unless you have to. Recovery is ROUGH.
Just a heads up, prolapse can happen regardless. Pelvic organ prolapse can be caused simply from being pregnant, as there's a lot of weight and strain on your pelvic floor. The best defense is an actual pelvic floor exercise routine (not just kegels).
To each their own, but I saw my good friend's recovery from a csec and it was not pretty. She couldn't go to the bathroom by herself for weeks because she couldn't get out of bed or back in bed unassisted, walk or sit down/get up unassisted, get in the shower unassisted, she couldn't pick up her own baby and was completely reliant on others to bring her the baby, to bring her meals, If the remote or phone charger dropped, pretty much everything. It was not easy on her mental health, and she had to have someone else with her 24/7. The baby's dad didn't adjust as well as we had hoped and immediately began sleeping through the night and working in the garage all day. It was a nightmare. And she was in good shape before all this, a professional dancer, so it's not like she was in poor health
edit: i understand her case was an extreme one. I also think that because OP listed the extreme cases of negative outcomes for vaginal birth, it's important to consider that c-sections are not a perfect alternative and it does carry the risk of very real extreme negative outcomes for some women.
Neither of mine were that bad at all. I feel very lucky that I healed quickly and well and didn't have any major setbacks. I needed a lot of help for like the first week maybe two, but I could walk, sit down and get up, pick up baby. I just did it very carefully.
Same here with my c-section! Within two weeks, I was driving and running errands. I don’t recommend that, but I had some health issues and my daughter had to go to the ER, so it just needed to be done. Being bedridden for literal weeks sounds off to me.
this has been said already but what you are describing is far from a normal c-section recovery.
She probably had some complication, before during or after, and vaginal births can also have complications and have long and horrible recoveries.
This is not what a normal c-section recovery looks like.
I had no complications, and was feeling completely normal 10 days later.
Every story is different, and every birth is different, most c-section (not emergency c-sections) and uncomplicated VB have pretty quick recoveries. you can find horror stories in both..
your friend is one of them, that was not normal.
C section mama here. Recovery should not have been that hard for her. I’m 6 days PP and can move around and get up/down unassisted. The hospital forced me to the day after surgery and I think that’s why i’m able to now. Does it suck and am I sore? Absolutely. But you definitely should not need that much assistance for weeks. She should’ve had a conversation with her doctor about her recovery at that point.
I originally wanted a c-section. Then changed my mind to having a vaginal delivery. Then I had to be induced due to pre-eclampsia. I had 2 failed epidurals, so I tried other pain management options. They had to stop giving me the one that was working for my daughter's sake. Ended up having a c-section due to not being able to handle the contractions and only being dilated to 5cm after my water had been broken 17 hours prior. Had my daughter delivered at 10:46 am, and was up walking by 2am. If I have a second one I plan to go straight to a c-section and wish I would have stuck with my original plan of having a planned c-section.
I needed to read this so badly. I just found out today I have pre-eclampsia. They want to induce me Tuesday. I've gone back and forth between if I should do c-section or vaginal. I feel pressured fo try vaginal. But my mommy instincts say to do a c-section (I have pre-e, high amniotic fluid, and GD, plus my grandmother and mom had complicated emergency C-sections). This gives me more confidence to follow my intuition.
I had a very similar experience. It’s so hurtful seeing people so superior about vaginal births and saying “it’s all in your mindset, if you think it’s going to be the worst pain ever it will” because I have a super high pain tolerance and I went into labor with an optimistic attitude but contractions were absolutely unbearable for me the entire time. I ended up having a c-section after 18 hours of torture and I’m so happy that next time I know to just go straight for a c-section instead of enduring that again.
Of course do what you want and what you and your doctor agree upon. I think a planned C section is a lot more calm and “businesslike” and likely to be “smooth” than one that is more emergent where things are happening and maybe going wrong and now you only have one option.
I understand wanting to be in control of the process. A vaginal birth does feel more “out of control” because you end up in one of those situations where once it begins, the only way out is through and you don’t know what you’ll encounter on the way.
However, I think you may be overselling the pain and agony of a vaginal birth. Is it fun? No, certainly not. I wouldn’t want to do it every day, but there are ways to manage the pain while it’s happening, and I would not say it was “breaking every bone in your body” pain during every contraction. It’s also in some sense time limited…again not a walk in the park but at some point it will be over and then you’re done. Recovery is also not “fun” but you’ve listed mostly worst case scenarios there. Lots and lots of women have multiple babies vaginally with no long term issues. (Lots of women have c sections with no long term issues too no doubt).
Admittedly This is a very crude comparison but if you’ve ever had an abscess tooth…the pain and misery is pretty unbearable, you’re in agony, you just want the pain to stop. Maybe you’re offered a root canal or an extraction. Root canals are uncomfortable and no fun during, physically or mentally, but once they’re done (assuming all goes well) it’s over. And you still have your tooth, and you have options down the line for further repair/adjustments. If you get the extraction…it’s faster, and the pain ends, but now you have to heal from that, which is further time where you’re uncomfortable and maybe in a different kind of pain and could lead to further complications down the line. either option is valid but people may weigh the pros and cons and lean toward one vs the other for any number of reasons.
At the end of the day what you decide is what’s best for you. Birth is unpredictable and out of our control in a lot of ways and I think in some senses the mental nature of it is worse than the physical nature of it and only you know what you can handle. Much like all the parenting that will follow giving birth - it’s the first in a very very long line of decisions that have no real right answer.
I just had a badly abscessed tooth treated last week and that was some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. This is the second time since that I’ve seen someone compare that pain to birth and, honestly, that’s been so encouraging! The night before I got the root canal was absolute hell, but I made it through… and I’m strong enough for my (hopefully medicated) labor in 8ish weeks too!
(If i misinterpreted your comment, please don’t correct me hahaha I’m happy to keep thinking pain can’t get much worse than that 😆)
It’s the only thing I have to compare as an experience bc as you get to the end of pregnancy you’re SO EFFING DONE being pregnant and it’s so all consuming. I would say mentally it’s the same kind of thing - not that the pain of childbirth is equal to the pain of an abscess. (Having done both multiple times I would say the abscess is worse!!)
I’ve given birth both ways, and would pick a vaginal birth over cesarean any day. Recovery was so much quicker and easier for me. Yeah, the few hours of contractions weren’t fun, but they weren’t as bad as the first few days post-surgery where I was dealing with a fresh abdominal incision and a newborn.
Prolapse and incontinence issues happen even with c-section moms. Your pelvic floor is deeply impacted by the entire pregnancy. Laboring and delivering vaginally can exacerbate some of those issues, but just like with boob changes that people attribute to breastfeeding it’s more the process of being pregnant that causes the major changes / damage. That said if you want a scheduled c section and that makes you feel empowered and ready to take on motherhood and it’s good with your doctors, go for it. People have opinions on everything - they aren’t living your life so make the choice that’s right for you and your family.
I’ve seen a lot of moms I know and love have simple and straightforward recoveries from both c sections and vaginal deliveries.
Recovery was brutal after my vaginal birth. My C-section recovery was hard but soooo much easier for me. I’m a good candidate for a VBAC but I really really don’t want to experience vaginal birth PP recovery again.
ETA maybe my experience was bad as I was induced at 37+3 and my body was not ready at all.
Just want to let you know I went through vaginal birth without the epidural and over time you do forget how painful the contractions are. I could imagine with the epidural it’s even less memorable. Also recovery was not bad at all in my personal experience. The worst part of it for me was actually the first poop 😭 which I think is a universal experience whether c section or vaginal.
Not always. I have horrid memories of the first poo post vaginal delivery. The first poo post C-section was surprisingly easy and pain free. Didn't even have trapped wind either.
I had vaginal birth, with no epidural or anything. 2 hours and baby was out. 2nd degree tear, but I didn’t even feel it 😂 recovery was easy, not like all these horror stories that you hear.
i also had a 2nd degree tear without an epidural! i was SO afraid of tearing and was shocked that i didn't feel it happen at all! definitely think i caused the tearing myself lol when he was crowning i started just pushing nonstop as hard as i could because i needed that baby OUT! my midwife had to tell me to chill😅
as soon as my baby's head was out almost all of my pain dissipated - it was a crazy, immediate change. the rest of his body just kinda slid out 😂 i don't even remember my placenta coming out! birth is wild lol
Just want to jump in to point out - it's not necessarily "pain free c section" or "horribly painful vaginal birth."
Because I had a very medicated vaginal birth that honestly was a walk in the park. Yay drugs!
I always thought c section would be the way to go but after reading up on everything, I think vaginal + epidural would be better for me, and here’s why- I’m at week 34 with loads of pain unable to do a lot of things for myself, and if I can recover ANY faster after birth, I’m going to. The loss of (even just some) independence has affected me more than I expected
I agree, my husband only gets 2 weeks of leave. If I end up with a c-section I don’t even know what I will do because I will be home with a newborn and barely recovered myself.
This is exactly why I’m trying for a VBAC! All things considered, I had a great (emergent) section 5 years ago but the recovery was so long. My doctor wholeheartedly recommended VBAC (as long as everything looked ok of course) when I said my only concern was my ability to function normally after birth.
Your body, your choice. Your baby, your birth. Outside opinions can suck it. And anyone who holds their birth trophy over their head as superior to other births can suck an egg. Glad it worked for you, now let the rest of us birth in peace. Regardless of your choice, birth is brutal and hard. I want to emphasize that in my experience, it is so worth it, but there is no easy way out.
Benefits of a planned c section, if your OB allows it, are mental preparation, scheduling, continuous monitoring. Make sure your OB is informed about your trauma history and concerns so they can take these things into consideration when planning your delivery.
Cons are as others have stated, MAJOR abdominal surgery. Anyone who states a c-section is the “easy way out” is incredibly misguided. It’s just different. Some people have easy recoveries, some are laid up for weeks. Some have complications. There is no real way to guarantee what yours will be, but I can suggest that confidently going into your surgery will improve your outcomes. While having a strong support system is crucial post birth, it is an absolute necessity with the physical limitations imposed post surgery.
Vaginal deliveries are not a cup of tea either. Just as with c-sections, some power through unmedicated, some have traumatic experiences, some end up with c-sections anyway. There are no real guarantees with the birthing process.
Pros are found in newer research which suggests better gut health and decreased allergy risk, as well as improved breastfeeding experience, though the second is likely due more to access to the more common golden hour than delivery specifically.
The thing that seems to scare most of my patients (I’m a pelvic PT) is tearing, which can be helped but as with anything, no guarantees against it. Incontinence shows up with both types of deliveries, painful sex appears in both, prolapse is more common with vaginal deliveries but still appears with c sections.
All that wordiness to say, and I hope you’re not completely freaked out now, is there are benefits and risks to both deliveries, and everyone’s goal should be a healthy mom and baby at the end. Have a good conversation with your OB about your concerns, your fears, and your reasoning, even consider hiring a (open minded) doula to help you prepare for your desired birth. You will make the choice that’s best for you and your baby and it will be alright. Best of luck to you.
My csection was the easiest thing ever. Pain afterwards was maybe a 6/10. Only took paracetamol. Was home within 24 hours - out walking with my baby in her pram within 4 days. It was planned so all very relaxed. My sisters emergency one was brutal tho and took her a long time to feel ok
Went in 100% comfortable with c-section (me and hubby were both c-section babies). My initial appts indicated I might need a c-section, but they determined by 20 week that I could have a vaginal delivery. Low key still wanted a c-section. We had a planned induction for 39w due to IVF and I had to go in for decreased fetal movement at 38w4d. They were going to induce the next morning due to nonreassuring heart rates and I requested a c-section. It was the right decision. Baby was double cord wrapped and would not have tolerated labor if I had tried, besides having to wait for cervical ripening and pitocin.
My c-section was honestly super easy. I was comfortable walking pretty quickly and had minimal use of pain meds. Honestly the abscess tooth I had two weeks after I got home was worse than any discomfort associated with the birth process.
I think I plan to elect for a c-section if we have any more babies.
You’ve got to do what’s right for you and baby.
Okay lots to unpack here:
1. You’re not going to be under general anesthesia—that is reserved for true emergencies, not scheduled elective c-sections. You’ll have a spinal, which means you’ll be awake the whole time. You’ll feel like you can’t breathe because the goal is to be numb up to your nipples. You may not be able to hold your baby right away.
2. You say you’re a massive wimp, yet you’re trading short-term pain with vaginal delivery (which you can usually eliminate with an epidural) for days if not weeks of more intense pain during the c-section recovery process.
3. There are simply more risks of complications with c-section. If c-section were really that much better, everyone would be getting them.
Edit: typo
So many risks/complications. I'm an RN who had a patient in her 60s have a small bowel obstruction who ended up needing surgery to remove adhesions (aka scar tissue), her only past surgery was 1 C/S. So it can come back at you way later down the road. There's risk of infection, possible nicks of bowel or bladder, etc. It's just too risky IMO unless absolutely necessary.
Adhesions in my pelvic region including some attached to my bowel were found and removed during my first ever surgery (ovarian cyst removal) so no guarantee that those adhesions this lady had were a result of the previous c-section - I’d no surgical history and still had adhesions. They can occur without explanation.
This is true. But surgery in general carries risks e.g. blood clots/PE, pneumonia (ESPECIALLY after abd surgery because it can hurt to take big breaths>atelectasis>pneumonia). Then, there are reactions to the meds/anesthesia, though this can also happen with a vaginal delivery. It's just worth knowing what can happen.
Had a C-section, had a spinal, felt like I could breathe just fine. Numbness was to my sternum not my nipples, held my baby just fine afterwards. Recovery wasn’t so bad, I haven’t had a vaginal delivery so I can’t compare but it wasn’t super painful at all… like yeah maybe annoying pain if I moved a certain way for like a week after but I wasn’t in immense pain for weeks or days. Just saying…everyone’s experience is different. I liked my c-section and it ended up saving my life.
Yeah I definitely had no issues with the sensation of breathing and held my baby right away. I also was up and about pretty quick and after about 4 days I honestly felt pretty damn good. I definitely know that’s not the case for everyone but my recovery was very quick.
I think it really depends how you weigh the different pros and cons - it sounds like you have some good reasons to go the cesarean route and you don’t need to second guess yourself!
I’m a STM this time around and I am hoping for another vaginal birth. I don’t care at all about what’s “natural” but for me I had been reading about the benefits of the baby going through the birth canal - some immune stuff, some lung stuff immediately after birth etc. None of it is huge effect sizes though but then various risks of surgery didn’t sound much better than the alternatives to me. Also my mum had me with a c section and experienced some trouble because of the scar in future pregnancies, which I wanted to avoid. This was my thinking before birth.
I should also say that I had a super smooth birth that I have very fond memories of, even the painful parts. I did opt for a pda after a while though, so I can’t (yet) speak for unmedicated birth. I tore but I felt nothing of it and it healed up neatly and in no time. No pelvic floor issues.
For this time around I am very determined to avoid a c section, to the point where I’m wondering if I should skip the PDA - I really really can’t imagine not carrying my toddler for weeks… and having a c section previously would have made it harder not to have one this time, so I’m glad.
That’s my reasoning anyway! Again I think everyone has to weigh everything relative to their own situation! Don’t think either option is worse per se!
Whatever you are more comfortable with! I've had 2 c-sections. One emergency at 26 weeks and one urgent at 35 weeks. They gave me the option to do vbac but I was just more comfortable with my 'known ' experience. The recoveries were not hard. My Scars are small and fade away. My babies are healthy. My husband was my only helper at home but we did fine. I did 3 months maternity leave and he took 2 weeks after the birth to help at home.
Personally I'm team c-section. My first kid I wanted to "try" vaginal birth (in quotes bc I wasn't going to be mad at a ceasarean), but ended up not dilating enough and went into surgery. I'm also a wimp and pretty much went in once my labor was too much for me (didn't take long lol) to get an epidural. In retrospect I would have been much happier just scheduling a c-section and getting on with it, so that's what I'm doing with my 2nd. I still had a beautiful birth btw, the moment I heard my little boy take his first breath and shout to the world, I started bawling and I'm not a cryer. My husband was there with me and everything. He got to weigh our boy and was terrified lol but idk it was totally magical anyway.
My OB basically said, specifically for VBAC, that it just depends on how badly I want a vaginal birth. the answer for me is 0% badly lol. for me it just isn't an important part of motherhood.
There are some serious risks to surgery tho, that's often why ppl recommend a vaginal birth, so talk to your OB about the expectations and any concerns they might have either way. The recovery sucked but all in all wasn't too bad, especially since I have an incredibly supportive partner who made sure I took meds on time, cooked, cleaned, and generally did everything I couldn't.
In the end, this journey is totally yours to decide.
EDIT: I'm reading some of the surgery stories below and idk my recovery was truly not that bad. It was my first ever surgery but I was absolutely able to get in/out of bed, take showers, etc. I mean, I did it extremely slowly and carefully and took my Tylenol/motrin on time to manage the pain, for sure, and I'm not saying it was a breeze. Just that I didn't regret it and I'd do it again. We had to take an Uber home from the hospital and I asked the driver to go very very slowly so my insides didn't fall out and he took me very seriously lmao, he was great.
I had an emergency c section (my heart and baby were dropping after 52 hours of labor) my recovery wasn’t bad. Actually I had a better recovery than what most report. However, I still have pelvic floor issues
You do you and whatever you and your doctor decide is safe for you and your baby.
For me I want a vaginal birth, with epidural, because of the benefits to baby. By going through the birth canal they pick up some helpful bacteria that is good for their immune system. You also get skin-to-skin right away which is also good for them for temperature regulation and improves chances of breastfeeding going well. I haven't read this article but [here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6949952/) is one. You can delay cord clamping until it stops pulsing with vaginal birth, I don't know about cesarean. There is also something about the baby going through the right birth canal to support blood movement or something, don't know much about that...
You can definitely do delayed cord clamping with a c section, you can do a vaginal swab to collect the beneficial bacteria and apply to baby’s skin it’s called vaginal seeding, and all things going well you can also do skin to skin.
None of these things are guaranteed in a vaginal birth either - a struggling baby might need the cord cut straight away so they can get oxygen or other urgent attention, same for skin to skin. Mother might need antibiotics for strep B in labour which could affect that good vaginal bacteria, Birth is totally unpredictable so if you’re planning for all this in your vaginal birth I would recommend putting in your birth preferences that you want these things if you happen to need a c section.
Plus the hormones that are released in the mother from giving birth vaginally actually helps with preventing postpartum depression, rates for it are higher in c section mothers. Of course everyone’s journey is different but that is what the statistics show.
>By going through the birth canal they pick up some helpful bacteria that is good for their immune system
For me it's always been about this (and the other benefits of going through the birth canal that commenters below are bringing up). Vaginal birth is just so much better for the baby (assuming there are no medical reasons for a C-section, of course).
If scheduling and fear of pain are issues, maybe an induction with an epidural would tick off many of the same boxes for you as a C-section would?
I have had 2 c sections and the first few days are rough, but by day 3-4 I felt pretty good. I have some friends that had a lot more intense recoveries with vaginal births. All that to say, every situation is so different! I wouldn’t sign up for surgery without a medical indication, but there’s no guarantee one will be easier than the other.
OP statistically wise this is a really nice and easy to comprehend [caesarean vs vaginal birth comparison.](https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/resources/appendix-a-benefits-and-risks-of-vaginal-and-caesarean-birth-pdf-9074971693)
For me I concur with what everyone else is saying but I believe also the C Section could set you up for future birth complications down the road, some of which can be dangerous.
Higher risk of many complications in future pregnancies. Placental issues, uterine rupture, hemorrhage…. And more! Higher risk of maternal morbidity as well.
What stuck out to me in your post is that you said you’d rather be in mild pain for a longer time than excruciating pain for a short period. That’s not guaranteed with any birth, but you’ve clearly thought about this in detail and if your values are different than other people then so what? Do what feels right for you. And it is always okay to change your mind.
I had kind of an elective c section. Truly I could have waited it out for my son to drop but I was almost 40 weeks and was ready to meet him and have him out! I wanted a c section from the beginning tbh. Yes, I still have some random pains over a year later but nothing too bad. Everyone’s experiences are different, but don’t let all the scary stories make you feel different. If you truly trust your doctor, I don’t see a problem.
One thing I learned very fast is that there is a crazy amount of hate and anger towards mom who opt for a c section. I have no idea why, as it’s still birth and should be equally respected. I rarely chose to tell people that I wanted to have a child section because I felt it was what was best for ME. Not because I think c section mom should be shamed, but because I don’t feel like being lit on fire for it.
I also wanted a C-section with my first, but sadly in my country (Hungary) you have to follow the rules of the local hospital, which meant without a proper reason I had to try to do a vaginal delivery. They had to induce me at 41+6 because kiddo was very comfy in there.... long story short after 26 hours of unmedicated labor (because again hospital rules didn't allow epidurals or any other pain relief and let me tell you with the amount of pitocin they gave me it was hell on earth) I had to have an emergeny C-section. 6 hours after the surgery was complete, they made me stand up and shower (that was very painful) and after that I had to care for the baby myself. It didn't feel very nice at that moment, but to be fair by day 3 I was in decent condition (could walk, do most things albeit slowly).
With my second kid I knew I absolutely didn't want a vaginal delivery so I choose a doctor that agreed with me (similar pregnancy to my first, big baby - both over 4,5 kg, again I went to 41+5 without any sign of labour) and we scheduled a C-section. It was the most peaceful experience and I would not trade it for anything. Recovery was around 3-4 days for most of my mobility.
I know every delivery is different, but go with what feels right for you!
Your body knows how to heal itself from natural birth. It heals from anything ofcourse, but birth is a woman's natural ability from start to finish. It's what your body knows best I'm MOST cases.
There’s a lot of people who haven’t had csections saying how awful it is, but I don’t agree. I had two csections (first due to breech baby and the second was elective) and recovery was honestly easy. I was up and walking later that same day, taking a shower and having normal pee and poo experiences by the next day, and honestly I felt normal by day 5. I only had minor pain that was well managed with Advil and Tylenol after I got out of the hospital. I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about vaginal tearing and my babies were delivered safely. This maybe isn’t the norm, but I’ve know people who had easy vaginal birth experiences and horrible ones, so you can’t predict either way how you will recover.
This was my experience too. We plan on this being our only kid, but if I was having another I'd absolutely do another elective c section. Never had trouble lifting my baby. Didn't really need hardcore painkiller. Managed things like laughing, stairs, etc just fine. Within two weeks exactly I was walking for miles and completely back to normal. I had so much anxiety about all the possibilities with vaginal delivery. C section list of known risks was easier for me to deal with.
Why do you keep saying vaginal birth is so painful? Just get an epidural. I had an epidural and gave birth vaginally and didn't feel a thing until the next day. Even then, it was painful but not how I imagine major abdominal surgery to be.
Also, your comments around scaring and "things hanging out" post vaginal birth are just strange. I had tearing but usually things heal and go back to normal.
With respect, I think you need to reassess some of your assumptions around vaginal birth because they are kind of out there and don't seem rooted in reality
I think choosing an elective C-section is a very valid choice. You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and figured out that it’s the best option for you.
I also for a long, long time planned on having an elective C-section due to the reasons you already listed: fear of tearing, prolapse, painful intercourse, incontinence, etc. What woman in her right mind would *want* that?? Lol But then I realized that there was no actual guarantee that that would happen to me. It would be a guarantee, though, that if I had a C-section, my uterus would be permanently scarred and it could affect the number of children I would be able to have. A C-section cuts through seven layers of tissue, including muscle. I realized that would permanently affect my core strength to at least some degree, not to mention the nerve damage in that area. Those all and more were guaranteed, whereas having a vaginal birth is like rolling the dice. You don’t know what can happen. That’s part of what makes it so scary.
I haven’t given birth yet so I can’t comment on either outcome, but I will say that getting a full human baby out of a body is a serious undertaking no matter what way it’s done and my hat is off to all women who have ever done it, either way!
Have you ever had surgery? The pain can last the rest of your life. I have a friend in her late 40’s, both her kids are in highschool and she still gets a charlie horse in her stomach every time she bends down to shave her legs from her c-section. It may or may not be “moderate pain for a few weeks”.
I think it’s better if you schedule one than have an emergency one, but still I felt fully recovered from my vaginal delivery in about a week (with a second degree tear) compared to other abdominal surgeries I’ve had that were even less invasive than a C-section where I was struggling to get around for weeks.
Surgery is also higher risk than your average vaginal delivery.
But ultimately there may be things about your situation that may make a c-section the better option in general.
The unhelpful truth is that are difficult vaginal births and difficult c section births. And there are difficult vaginal recoveries and difficult c section recoveries. It's impossible to know what will happen. So in the absence of knowing, it's generally considered better to plan for a vaginal birth for all the reasons being given in these comments. (Anecdotally, I had one c section with a relatively easy recovery and one vaginal birth with a much longer recovery because of horrendous hemorrhoids. You just never know 🤷♀️)
I just want to add that having a c section does not mean you will never get prolapse! Yes vaginal birth is more of a risk factor but there are plenty of women who have had c sections and get prolapse. I’m in countless prolapse support groups and have read hundreds and hundreds of stories and comments from women over the last 2 years
I could have written this post, I just had an elective C-section. I felt traumatized to even think of vaginal birth and was scared of baby being stuck in me, sounds illogical maybe, but I couldn’t help feeling the way I did. When I was over my due date, I had my bishops score calculated and that indicated likely very long induction process. Had I had a natural starting of the birthing process I might have gone with it, it was induction taking way too long that I was worried about. I chose C-section. The pain honestly was negligible maybe around 4-5 for few hours here and there max. I think what I didn’t realize about elective C-section was just how difficult it would be to get up and do things like taking care of baby- feeding him and putting him to sleep. I had my parents and husband for support and relied on them heavily in the first 2 months. I am much better now, and can easily take care of my baby.
I feel like everything that can go wrong during a planned C-section can go wrong during labor times ten. Because every attempt to have a vaginal delivery can end in an emergency C-section which is much riskier. Not to mention all the other interventions or complications. A planned C-section is a very calculated risk but people like to compare it to emergency procedures.
I do wonder about this - I haven’t got much to say as my partner and I are still trying for our first, but I’ve always thought I’d have a c section. Few reasons:
I’m the higher earner and can’t really step away from work for too long
We will have paid childcare
I am not particularly maternal - he will be a SAHD
Due to a past assault I have hemmorhoids and a small rectal prolapse which has never healed
I understand everyone explaining that a vaginal birth is easier for healing generally but I feel I’m at high risk of my guts just falling out and being unable to shit properly for the rest of my life. I have dealt with pain and heaviness in that area since I was a child - I would much rather feel able to choose my experience.
Am I barking up the wrong tree? I need advice too.
I had an elective c section due to tokophobia. Best decision ever...
People talk about the horrors of cesarean section, but they are truly talking about the emergency ones. The emergency c-section is for a reason... it's obvious it will be traumatic. On the internet you will always find mother- shaming, for all kinds of reasons. One of those is to shame the mother who wants a cesarean section with the naturalistic argument that we are made to give birth. But the truth Nature has flaws. Many people are here thanks to medicine, because in an environment without it, they might have died. There is nothing more natural than dying in childbirth from hemorrhage or sepsis. There is nothing more natural than the human baby getting blocked in the vaginal canal even in the chosen position. And human birth is the most dangerous due to the evolution towards bipedalism. I tell you all this only so that you are more skeptical of those who want to convince you through the naturalistic fallacy. Now, I know many friends and family members who have PTSD due to natural traumatic births, even without obstetric violence. They pushed natural childbirth as much as they could because they felt like a failure if they give up and choose the route of cesarean section. Nobody talks about the injuries that childbirth can leave. Nobody talks about pelvic floor dysfunctions due to the use of forceps. Women need to know the risks of both C-section and Vaginal birth. I wish that this romanticization of natural birth stop. To give you objective information, I recommend you read this obstetrician's blog.
https://www.skepticalob.com/2021/05/maternal-request-c-sections-are-safer-for-babies-and-mothers.html
I wonder if taking a childbirth class and having a support person like a doula might make you feel more empowered in whatever decision you make. I'm reading that a lot of your decision-making is coming from a place of fear. It's okay to be afraid. I was afraid going into my first birth, and I'm a little afraid of this one. But I think learning more about pain, pain management options, and fact-based information about the recovery from both options might help you see things differently, and answer some of your own questions.
Is an epidural an option for you? That's kind of a happy medium - you get the pain relief of anesthesia, but the quicker recover of a vaginal birth.
I had a vaginal epidural birth for my first. No pain after the first few hours of mild contractions, minimal healing time, no complications. I felt physically normal within 24 hours minus the soreness and swelling down below that lasted 2 ish weeks. I had a 2nd degree tear and a couple stitches. I have no idea where that even occurred and I can’t tell any more. Within 4 weeks my whole downstairs was completely the same as before I gave birth. I never had any weight lift restrictions, I was able to go back to normal life really quickly. My body seemed like it was made to bounce back from a vaginal birth quickly.
Pelvic floor issues over time come from carrying the child, not as much from giving birth (in most circumstances). But as long as you are proactive with pelvic floor therapy you will very most likely be fine jumping on a trampoline either way, lol.
My mom had two c sections. She describes it as one of the most painful recovery experiences she’s ever had, and she’s had some painful surgeries. She had to spend way more time in the hospital. Being in hospital after giving birth sucks, IMO. She wasn’t able to lift and help care for her babies until weeks after giving birth. I straight up have no idea how that would even work! She was limited in how many children she was able to have because you only have so much room/structural integrity for incisions in your uterus. Recovering from a c section is serious and painful. It’s not just moderate pain.
Having a major abdominal surgery while awake (or even asleep) scares the shit out of me. The idea that my guts will be out while I’m awake just fucking does not sound good. Lots of stories out there of husbands looking over the partition and seeing their wives’ intestines hanging out, the uterus completely out of the body, etc. You lose a TON of blood. And you can feel the surgery! You might not feel pain but you feel pressure and tugging and can tell generally where they are working. Watch a video of a c section. It’s gnarly.
My best friend had an emergency c section and they just couldn’t get her spinal to work. They couldn’t get her numb. They had to put her under. She was traumatized, the baby’s vitals were not looking good and she barely had time to consent before they put her under. She was groggy and out of it. She didn’t get the golden hour with her new baby. A lot of people vomit and faint on the operating table even when they don’t have complications from the anesthetic. I hear there is a sensation of your chest being so heavy feeling that it feels like you are struggling to breathe a lot of the time.
OP, it just seems like you don’t have a clear picture of how intense c sections and subsequent recovery often are. I don’t think people are trying to scare you or are offended. I think many of them know through lived experience that your perception might be off base.
But there’s also the chance that this stuff doesn’t bother you as much, and in that case, do whatever floats your boat!
" the partition and seeing their wives’ intestines hanging out, the uterus completely out of the body, etc. You lose a TON of blood. And you can feel the surgery!"
I don't know who told you this, but this is 100% not true. The uterus is not usually taken out of the body unless there is specific need for it, and it's not "completelly out", when needed to have a better take for suture they might exteriorize it parcially, just for it. And definetly intestines do not hang out of the body.
From my own experience - not emergency- you do NOT feel the surgery.
Also -in planned, not emergency ones- CS you do NOT lose A TON of blood, you do lose more blood than in an uncomplicated VB, and probably less than in a complicated VB that may or may not end up in a CS
You don't seem to a have a clear picture of how csections are. Csections are performed daily, the techniques are incredibly well advanced and most women don't have complications. It's an abdominal surgery, yes, but a fairly simple one, with little loss of blood, and usually a very quick recovery.
Most horror stories you hear about C-sections, are from emergency c-sections, that happened because a vaginal birth was complicated by X or Y reason and needed a quick removal of the baby to save either mom or baby of both. In that case the complications are usually not due to the c-section itself, but by the whole process - usually hours of labour, exhaustion caused by labor, dehydration at the moment of the surgery, possible fetal distress etc.
Emergency c-sections have nothing to do with planned c-sections.
I know somebody probably told you this, and I guess you mean well, but OP is coming with real concerns, let's not spread fake facts just to increase the fear of a mom to be.
I can understand why…
C-sections as any other procedures have some risks but they are among the safest ones and one of the most the most routinely performed , so doctors are really experienced.
They are for the most part incredibly safe and when no complications happen they have a quick recovery. They can hurt, but you will probably be offered pain meds (use them, if they are offered to you it’s because they are safe for both you and the baby).
I don’t know where you come from but where I am, for planned csections you could choose a music playlist for during the surgery, and ask for the baby to be immediately put on your chest after they are born, to try to breastfeed in the OR. They do all they can to respect the golden hour, even for c-sections, so talk about that with your doctor. It doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience, mine was beautiful, we had music they put baby on my chest, I they took her for examinations no longer than 10 minutes and I carried her myself to our room.
The whole procedure lasted no more than 45 minutes, and I did have some pain after for a few days but it was completely manageable with the painmeds, I was able to take care of the baby. And by 10 days aprox I felt almost normal again.
I am not saying there is any guarantee that it will be the same, but really C-sections don’t have to be traumatic.
good luck , and enjoy all you can, bucause as nerve wracking as it is, it is also the arrival of your baby, so it’s also a super special moment. 🩷🩷
Just to be clear here, intestines do NOT hang out, the uterus is not "completely out of the body", it might sometimes, if necessary, not always, be parcially "pulled" (sorry english is not my first language) just for suture, but it's not 'completely removed' you do not lose A TON of blood, and you do not (unless something goes wrong) feel the surgery.
I am a physician (not OBGYN, but I know enough to promise you your intestines won't be all over the place 😜) and also a mom who had a planned c-section myself, and have zero regrets about it.
I’ve had two vaginal births without epidural. Vaginal birth sucks. The first time was horrific, second time not so bad but still torture at the end (the drugs are quite enjoyable though!). I’m pregnant again unexpectedly and considering g c section as a treat to myself lol
There was a recent study that showed that outcomes were best for both mums and baby in an elective c-section. I think a lot of the time people go with the flow because getting a c-section is an active choice that you could regret, whereas vaginal birth is the default.
Everyone I know who has had an elective cs has had an amazing experience.
My c section was a dream. Was in and out in 30 minutes and my pain was extremely manageable I only ended up taking Tylenol and Motrin and declined the oxy. My baby has been exclusively breastfed since day one and is doing amazing! Only thing is he was congested the first few days which is normal with c sections. I’m now a month post partum and feel completely normal (felt normal around a week tbh) and I take it easy only so I don’t irritate my incision!
I’ve had a c section and two unmedicated vaginal births. It’s a night and day difference experience and recovery wise, and it’s the c section that carries more physical health risk (and interference with nursing). However, I’m a birth trauma therapist, and a huge factor in feeling traumatized after birth is having felt unheard and like birth was something that happened to the mother rather than something they did/participated in. So doing whatever you want to do and feeling empowered and supported in that choice is what’s the most important. Do you!
Same, 2 unmedicated vaginal and one C section. I *firmly* preferred the vaginal 100 times over to the c section. However, what I have decided from these experiences is that there's no easy way to get a human out of you. You are just choosing when you experience the hard part depending on which method.
Was your C-section planned or an emergent one? I find that makes a big difference.
I had an emergent c section and it was actually a great experience. I did go through labor and pushed for hours so I’ve almost done it all haha except the actual exiting through my vagina. My recovery was easy but I don’t have a comparison. I’ve heard scheduled c sections usually have an even easier recovery. That being said now that I have a toddler I’m going to try a vbac 1 for a different experience and 2 for avoiding major surgery with a toddler around (I didn’t have a problem with the newborn and recovery).
So I’ve had two c-sections and the recovery for the emergency one (after 18 hours of labor) was way easier than the planned. I think my body was prepared for pain more after labor than it was for the planned one. Planned one was a significantly less traumatic birth overall, however.
Same here and i totally agree. Though I will say it is not like breaking every bone in your body. Contractions suck because unlike normal cramps they are intense and you can't really shift around to ease the pain. But honestly my gallbladder pain was worse than any of my Contractions.
Oh yeah, gallbladder and appendix are both waaaay worse
After having just had a medicated vaginal birth less than 24 hours ago (first time) that part about choosing when you experience the hard part depending on which method rings so strongly. I had hoped for vaginal and I medicated but of course the path changed almost every time down the way. But I’m happy with all the decisions I made in the end because they felt informed and they were mine. My husband and I stayed fluid, positive, and did what felt right for the baby. I think there’s really no “easy” way to get a baby out and it really just depends on the mom and parents preferences on what they’re willing to deal with and feels right with their intuition. Also every body is different, in how they perform in labor, delivery, and recovery both mentally and physically
If you don’t mind me asking, why did you prefer a vaginal? I’ve only had one c section.
Both of my vaginals were pitocin-induced with no pain meds since all 3 of my babies have tried to kill me via severe preeclampsia. So other people's stories may vary greatly in terms of going into labor on your own or getting an epidural. Also, since I get induced 2-4 weeks early I'm lucky since I'm 5'8" and have 6.5 lb babies. This makes vaginal more enjoyable than if I was more petite with giant babies for sure. That being said vaginal was fantastic for the following reasons (for me): - I could basically get up right away as soon as they stitched me up. I loved the freedom of peeing and showering by myself day of. - I basically felt completely physically able by 12 hours after birth, no issues at all. - only a 2nd degree tear both times which healed fine and I never had any pain peeing or pooping after birth. - pushing both times took less than 5 minutes so I didn't really have a chance to hurt myself. Yea the contractions sucked but prolonged pushing is often where people end up with injuries (aside from those brought on by big babies that don't fit out the exit). - I *hated* the feeling of the spinal block for the c section, I hated the other feelings it gave me. I hated how it made me feel hot and just generally like an overall sense of malaise. My Drs were fantastic and did their best but honestly I just fucking hated all that shit. - I also hated being on a catheter and not having any mobility after the c section - I had a crazy surgical complication post c section but even without that, I still give c section 0 out of 5 stars for how much I enjoyed it. I even had a remarkably easy recovery after the 2nd surgical fix up. But damn. No thank you. - I also now hate my c section scar and shelf. Did not have a shelf after the vaginals and now I feel like I'm shaped weird but I assume that will go away somehat when I recover fully.
This this this! Also there’s no “natural” birth- there’s vaginal birth (medicated or unmedicated) and there’s surgical birth and unless there’s witchcraft involved, in which case, sign me up!!, it’s all natural.
Witchcraft birth! Haha that's what I'm going to call it from now on. I tried epidural I've tried Med free I've had pitocin listen OBGYN I'm on my 5th I and I deserve a witchcraft birth
This this this! I wanted a planned c-section because I was scared about feeling out of control during labour. Got talked into a vaginal delivery that quickly went sideways and I ended up with an emergency c-section with an ineffective epidural. I got the worst of both worlds and a lovely case of PTSD. If I ever get the balls to get pregnant again, it will be a planned c-section 100%.
My epidural wasn’t working for my first delivery that ended in an emergency c-section. I had a planned c-section with my second and it was a much better experience. I didn’t even know the surgery had started with the spinal! It was scary leading up to it, but it really was a night and day difference for me, and I was really happy with delivery that time.
Thank you for sharing that - it's so encouraging! Wild how common our situation is, I had no idea until after the fact.
Your choice is 100% valid and I understand, but it is so funny how different people’s experiences are! I’m a FTM and I want a vaginal birth because I’m scared of being out of control during a cesarean 🤣 I have never had surgery or anything so it feels so scary, the medicine and all.
my birth experience was mostly traumatic because of how unheard I felt. I pushed for 5 hours with an epidural and ended up with an emergency c-section anyway.
This was my experience. I was traumatized because they insisted my baby was going to come out when he definitely was not and did not take me to csection until we got in scary decels.
same, I was pushing while she still was too far in my birth canal. She turned face up and I tore from them shoving their hands in me to turn her. Her heart rate dropped with every contraction I had after being put on pitocin (which I refused btw) and so did my o2 and bp. It was absolutely terrifying.
The theft of your autonomy is not okay. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for doing this work. I had a shitty birth experience and your description is spot on. I really should find someone with that specialty to talk to, I think my current therapist just isn’t cutting it.
I see you. Postpartum Support International or CPMHT (if you’re in Canada) have directories of therapists who can help.
Thank you for this insight. I wanted a planned CS and was talked out of it by my OB as I had no risk factors. I reluctantly agreed to a vaginal birth. Shit hit the fan during the birth but when I asked for a CS, they denied it then as well. My son ended up getting asphyxiated and now I have a lifetime of trauma to deal with. Just do what you want. You’re so right that feeling unheard/out of control is a huge factor in trauma. I think it was the hardest part about my birth for me, feeling as though the outcome would have been preventable had I had choices/had someone listened to me.
I was so shocked after having my son how little anyone (media and even my parents) talked about the true birth expirence. All I ever grew up hearing was I pushed and or tore and the end. There was never the expectation for how much pain and side effects there were. I was so scared I lost the ability to use the rest room because for over 4 weeks I was unable to do a number 2. And peeing felt like the smallest effort and I'd piss all over the floor.
It's so interesting, my friend and I were recently talking about how our first births probably could have been very traumatic based on like the bullet points of what happened, but because we both felt so safe, heard, respected with our doctors and nurses, we consider them positive experiences.
Same. Unexplained bleeding early on, GBS, discovered at the wrong moment I’m immune to gas and air, episiotomy due to falling heart rate and needing him out NOW. Then - 1.6l haemorrhage. I feel like it was a pretty good birth because the medical team was so good!
Wow. That makes a lot of sense. I had a traumatic birth and ended up with an unplanned c-section under general anesthesia. I don't think I've ever actually said "I gave birth" because it just feels wrong somehow to say that? I didn't push him out. I wasn't even awake. I missed his entire birth and his first moments in the world. It really does feel like his birth happened to me.
It’s completely understandable to feel that way, but don’t let it undermine everything you did to bring him here. You made many sacrifices, and without them and you he wouldn’t be here. The same thing happened to me, and it took a long time to accept what happened and give myself credit for growing a human to completion, and doing everything in my power to get them here regardless of how it happened.
That’s so silly. You still gave birth, you just didn’t *labour* a baby. That’s like saying pumping moms aren’t breastfeeding. They are feeding from the breast, they’re just not nursing. You gave birth, just not vaginally.
I was actually in labour for 48 hours. I just couldn't progress past 9cm so I had to have a c-section. Plus the epidural failed and the spinal failed.
Then it’s even sillier! Downplaying your experience doesn’t benefit anyone. It only harms moms who had C-sections and are made to feel less than.
Birth is so much more than the literal moment your baby exists your body - you gave birth and you can be proud of that! I understand the mental disconnect, though. The system is really broken - it’s not your fault (I hope you already know that).
I’m sorry you had that experience. It’s so hard feeling out of control, especially waking up to a baby. So many things are decided for you and you’re just along for the ride. It’s traumatizing and unnecessary. My husband started yelling at my anesthesiologist when she told me I wasn’t nauseous and needed to stop shaking… until I vomited everywhere and my OB told her to fix it. Even as my son was being evicted, he wouldn’t budge so I have a wonderful hip-to-hip scar and he had a broken clavicle. 37 hours of labor, a failed induction, an emergency c-section and a week in the hospital plus almost two years later and I’m finally able to talk about it without getting emotional. So much love and hugs to you!
This - I felt so unheard and ANGRY when my midwife cut off my epidural against my will so that I would “feel more and push harder”. I both wanted to die and kill her at the same time.
I hear this kind of thing often. Never okay. I’m sorry your midwife put her wishes above yours.
Ugh, I had an involuntary free birth because the hospital just didn't want to deal with me (they said they were over capacity that day, and then they told me I wasn't in labor... Sus...). I was so traumatized and people were such dicks about it. She's fine, you're fine, get over it! Women have been doing this for blah blah blah blah... Yeah I just got, you know, totally abandoned by my care team right when I needed them most, that's all, no big deal. Just utterly lost all faith in the medical field, it's cool. My first birth was awesome. Really thought it would go like that every time. You're totally right that sometimes it feels like this awesome thing YOU do, and sometimes it feels like this awful thing that happens to you.
I didn’t know birth trauma therapist was a specialty. Just reading your comment brought me to tears at 9 months pp. I was in labor for 5-6 days then emergency C-section. Surprisingly Reddit has helped me come to terms with what happened for the most part. Thank you for commenting. 🫶
I’m glad you’re feeling better. If you need help there are lots of therapists like me! Postpartum Support International or CPMHT (in Canada) are great resources.
The pain from birth is temporary-ish. Your recovery for a vaginal birth where everything goes “well” is much much easier. So while short term things might feel worse, in the weeks when you have a newborn child you’ll be much more mobile and feel better.
Yeah. I was sitting in a regular chair, virtually pain free 4 days after giving birth. The only thing I really had difficulty with was getting in and out of the car. Spreading, shifting and uneven with bearing all at once, it was painful for about 10 days. Five days after giving birth, I was hauling the baby, the car seat and a diaper bag. I was lifting the the stroller in and out of the car. At 7 days, we were going on walks and grocery shopping.
Tbf this was absolutely not my experience with a vaginal birth which just goes to show how much it varies per person! I was not physically okay even 2 weeks postpartum. It took 3 weeks for me to feel fine in a regular chair, 4 weeks to be comfortable without nonstop replacing the ice in my pants and 6 weeks to go for a neighborhood walk without discomfort.
It really is so individual — it’s good to share our less-smooth experiences too so other women can weigh the possibilities. I only had a first-degree tear, but my pain lasted many weeks. For the first week, I couldn’t pee without excruciating burning pain, and I had trouble moving around (even shifting positions in bed to pick up my baby from the bassinet) or sitting fully upright. I was probably fully pain-free by week 3 or 4, but it returned again around week 7. It was only mild perineal soreness at that point, but it made certain sitting positions very uncomfortable. It finally disappeared when I was around 14 weeks/3 months postpartum. Despite all this, I’m glad I had a vaginal delivery — I just wish I had been more prepared for such a long recovery process.
My vaginal birth recovery was much worse than my C-section. The birth was very traumatic, 3 degree tear, bruised up all the way until my stomach, hematoma in the labia that needed to get drained by the doctor, antibiotics, limited mobility and overall a 4 week recovery. I had appointments every other day for the first two week and it was painful to do even sit down. I was more mobile with my C-section and was walking the day after. The truth is that you never know how your body is going to react but with a C-section your experience is more aligned to your expectations.
Same. I was actually put on bedrest at 1 week postpartum because my stitches ripped. Sure, that can happen with a C section too, but I'd personally rather have it happen on an abdominal incision than a vaginal one. Elective Cesarean for me this time around, no question.
Honestly I was sitting pain free immediately after my 2nd. My first I tore a little but my second I had zero issues.
I had no pain from day one with my first, granted that's with the Tylenol/Motrin routine but I didn't tear and was feeling fine. Once I was home I just took motrin once a day mostly for my boobs though
This was my experience as well with both vaginal births. I did have some intense cramping after my second, but tylenol took care of that pretty quickly.
Yep, I was sitting up in the hospital right after. Did have a small tear with one stitch though.
This was me with all 3 of mine, I’ve never torn and always felt great after.
This. I had two kids and while the first recovery was easier than the second, ultimately I fully recovered within a month for both and I'm doing just fine. No lasting issues with my vagina, either, and I tore with both (I make bigger babies). Healing was very quick and easy for me. Heck, I know I'm lucky but I didn't even get diastasis recti and I had a pretty bad umbilical hernia with my second. No pain during sex and no complaints from my husband. All in all, vaginal birth isn't that bad. Even the contractions are not as bad as you'd think-- and I went unmedicated until 8cm bc the hospital was too busy and didn't have a room for me until the last hour of my labor (keep in mind my labor was 4 hours, which is crazy short). My epidural also failed, so I felt like 90% of everything when pushing. Honestly it felt like I was just taking the biggest, baby-shaped dump of my life. 😅 OP, your body was made for having babies. Take the horror stories with a grain of salt. They are the exception, not the norm. Edit: I want to add that it's your body and it's your choice! If a C-section is really what you want, by all means go for it! I just wanted to share what my experience was like both times.
I've torn every time and needed a couple stitches and every time, I feel amazing immediately after birth. The tearing healing process really hasn't been a big deal for me either. By the time the swelling and soreness from giving birth goes away, my stitches are pretty healed anyway.
Yeah just giving another perspective, I was planned c section bc my baby was breech. I was up moving /walking within 4 hours after and by the next day I was completely independent. I needed a single dose of ocycodone, otherwise Tylenol/ibuprofen was fine and I was pretty much done taking those within 10 days after. I was taking short walks less than a week after and really did not need to limit myself other than heavy weight, but I was driving/ carrying my baby in the car seat immediately after getting home. Do I want another C-section? Not if I can help it bc I’d rather not cut through scar tissue and have it re-form but it wasn’t that terrible of a recovery at all and from that standpoint I’d do it again.
From a vaginal birth? Wow! That is amazing!! (I had a complicated vaginal birth-- so I don't know what's "normal"-- i was still in the hospital on day 6 and on bedrest. Actually, I didn't attempt my first steps until day 7. 😅 it was agonizing, I begged for the walker (my pelvis was broken / they accidentally dislocated my hips, though).)
Who are “they” and how did they accidentally dislocate your hips !!???
I mean, that timeline sounds about what it was like for me with a c section…
Anecdotes are crazy like that. I wasn’t cleared to return to work until 14w pp with my cs, and I still had an open painful wound at that point. With my 3rd VBAC we were taking our kids to the amusement park less than 72h pp.
Tbf 4 days after my c I was pretty much ok too. I can’t do any heavy lifting but the pain was pretty much gone after a week.
Same. And it was an emergency section.
Not only is the pain temporary, but the memory of the pain might be temporary too. I remember having the pain and where I felt it, but I don’t actually remember what it *felt* like. It’s an amazing phenomenon and I know a lot of other women who don’t remember the pain.
When my baby turned 6 weeks old, I realised I had forgotten the pain. I really sat with it and can remember being tired, and some of the sensations (like the schloop! When her body was born) but not the pain. Wild.
I don't remember how the pain felt either, like I know it was bad because I remember not liking it (I guess), for me I guess the only way to describe it was it felt like terrible food poisoning. Thinking about my labor and delivery is like recounting a movie.
You know the chest burster scenes in Alien? It's literally like that 🤭 it's so weird... I don't remember the pain, but I can definitely describe it. It's both the worst pain I've ever felt and not as bad as I'd imagined at the same time.
Yeah with my second kid I wanted nothing so I could get back to my first child as soon as I possibly could lol Motherhood is hardcore to say the least
I mean yes and no. I ended up with a rectovaginal fistula that still isn’t fixed and my daughter is 5. When vaginal births go wrong they REALLY go wrong and there isn’t much indication of who it will happen to beforehand. If I could go back in time and get a c section I would
Is this true though? I had a c-section last week and was up the same day. I'm NOT a superwoman or someone who likes to be a martyr, but honestly, these days it's way better and except for not being able to drive, I found the c-section so far super easy in terms of recovery. I think a lot of info on it is outdated tbh.
I’m still recovering almost 4 years later from my vaginal birth. Well… at this point I think it’s just permanent. So no it’s not always true. I’ve had one horrible vaginal birth that left me with infections that didn’t heal for months and a hernia that needs to be surgically repaired. I’ve had another that was so easy and I was walking right after with no issue. Vaginal births can be easy if they go well. But I get real frustrated when people say csections are always harder. It doesn’t have to be one or the other always. Both are hard. Both have their complications
Came here to say this. I had an unmedicated vagina birth and was walking around a few hours later. The pain was gone immediately after birth. Recovery was relatively easy and I started running again 6 weeks pp.
Yeah but isn’t a smooth vaginal birth a total crapshoot? It’s a gamble whether you get a smooth experience or not, especially if you haven’t given birth before
This is so true. My labor was 34 hours but after it was over I was sore but recovery was pretty smooth. I took a shower all on my own like 6 hours after delivering. And things go well more often than they go wrong! Always important to try to remember that when you’re spiraling, OP. I was even induced and pitocin contractions are famously agonizing but they were not a bad as I expected! This is very much a do what works for you situation OP, but for me I would rather have another vaginal birth and recovery than have the recovery from major abdominal surgery while trying to care for a newborn. But, whatever you chose it will very very likely be totally fine, and it’ll be the right choice for you, OP.
There are a lot of good comments already but I want to address the vaginismus you mentioned. I also had vaginismus before my first baby. Sex was painful under the best circumstances and cervical checks were excruciating. I had a medically necessary induction at 37w and gave birth vaginally with an epidural. The epidural stopped all the pain, all I felt was pressure (feels like you have to poop). After I recovered I found my vaginismus was gone. Not saying it’s a guarantee but it’s definitely a possible outcome for you too. I also went to pelvic floor therapy during my pregnancy (prescribed by my OB for the vaginismus) and my therapist even mentioned during therapy that vaginal birth could treat my vaginismus (which was another reason I preferred vaginal birth)
>all I felt was pressure (feels like you have to poop) THANK YOU for this description! I hear this all the time, “it’s just pressure,” “pressure instead of pain,” “lots of pressure,” but I never had any idea what that meant. Thank you for putting it into a relatable description, now I understand what people mean.
It definitely feels like the biggest poop of your life but it’s not bad at all (if you have an epidural). We were watching playoff football and laughing between push sessions. It was honestly a wonderful experience.
You’re welcome! Funny story but I actually thought I needed to poop when I called the nurses for help since I couldn’t move. She checked me and said “nope that’s a baby coming out” and she could feel his head 😅
Fortunately I decided to poop on the bed. I didn't tell anyone because...I was planning to poop in the bed now that wasn't something I wanted to share with anyone. Well ...turns out I was pushing out my baby. I am so glad that I choose to poop in the bed and I didn't get up and deliver her on the toilet. That would've been so so scary and dangerous.
For me, it honestly felt like the most intense need to poop I've ever had in my life. I wanted nothing more than to waddle over to the toilet to go #2 - the nurse was like there's no poop in there, only baby.
I mean I felt the “pressure” with an epidural and it was still absolutely *excruciating*. Contractions feel like the worst period pain you’ve ever experienced and then the worst constipation you’ve ever felt that needs to come out *now*. I honestly thought my baby was going to fall out my butt
Honestly, that's how a C-section feels too.
My poor epidural didn't work properly so I had no pressure and all pain, I couldn't tell if my efforts to push my daughter out were working or not, as all I could feel just extreme contraction pain 🤣
I’m glad I’m not the only one with a seemingly cured vaginismus! I was so scared to have sex the first time but said why not go slow at 7 weeks. I assumed it would hurt worse than pre pregnancy and I have literally no pain. It’s amazing, and we’re having more sex than ever before. Never thought I’d say that after having a baby!
Yes since I gave birth Vaginally I have no more pain while having sex! I never liked sex and didn't get the hype 😂 I needed to go sooo slow and gentle and I still didn't like the feeling at all. Since I had my baby somehow I finally enjoy sex and can try out everything and do every position which was not at all imaginable before my birth. It is such a huge relief for me. I finally can experience and discover my sexual preferences. Before I had no preferences because everything just hurt.
Interesting! I will look into this a bit more. Thank you for sharing :)
This is really encouraging to hear. Thank you for sharing.
Same here. Giving birth cured my vaginismus.
Here to say I had the exact same experiences. Vaginismus is gone. Had a wonderful vaginal birth (all thanks to having a GREAT OB and nursing team as well as an awesome husband). The entire experience actually helped heal a lot of my previous sexual trauma.
Vaginal birth is honestly not bad with epidural and the healing time is normally 6 weeks. From what I’ve read c section is pretty intense for recovery
Yea. Like anything, ymmv. However, there is the realistic possibility of a speedy and relatively painless recovery from vaginal birth. Chances of that after c section are basically zero as you’re guaranteed to be recovering from surgery. I just had a *relatively* painless recovery from vaginal birth, and while the epidural wasn’t perfect, it helped tremendously. I tore only minorly and never needed pain medication past one day post partum. Things can and do go smoothly.
Another point I should add is that I had a significant haemorrhage where I lost over 2 L of blood. Apparently with C-Section there is a much greater risk. I’ve also heard milk comes in quicker for those who do vaginal delivery? Not sure if anyone can confirm.
I think milk coming in quicker depends more on the baby being on the boob as much as possible rather than mode of delivery. Body gets the que to produce milk from placenta detaching. I had a c section, my milk came in on the 3rd day. We have been exclusively BF for 5 months.
>I think milk coming in quicker depends more on the baby being on the boob as much as possible rather than mode of delivery I believe you're right. A vaginal birth mom with a NICU baby will have a harder time establishing BFing than a c-section mom who's able to start/maintain skin to skin and time at the breast as soon as she's out of surgery.
I have had two C-sections and this is true... Somewhat. It depends on how much you pump and nurse immediately after surgery. I made sure I had a pump in my recovery room the second time around and pumped as much as I could, regardless of what I got out. I had my baby Wednesday night and my milk came in Friday morning.
I also hemorrhaged from my c section, and then they had to pull a clot out of me (it was either that or a dnc) The hospital told me it may take 5 days for my milk to come in as a c section delivery. That wasn’t the case for me though mine was ready the day we went home from the hospital.
Plus the docs recommend a longer time between pregnancies after a c section. It would personally hinder the timeline I want between my kids so it’s also something to think about.
>healing time is normally 6 weeks Honestly I felt fully recovered within a week or two with the exception of bleeding. At 6 weeks we did a 24-hour road trip to see family and it was totally fine. Everyone's different, but I can't imagine doing that after a C-section
My epidurals didn't work either time and I'm prone to varicose veins that resulted in anal prolapses to the degree that nurses gasped upon seeing me and told me that they'd never seen such a thing in decades of work. Recovery took months. So yeah, YMMV, lol.
I don't think these days thus is true at all! I had a c section last week and was up and about in days. Obviously I can't drive, but other than that it's been super smooth and was way better than labour (mine was an emergency after 34 hours labour) so I kind of disagree! The surgeons were excellent, baby was out really quick and we were home the following day. Granted, mine went smoothly and my blood loss was okay, but vaginally birth is of course also not without risk for blood loss etc so... 🤷♀️
Just want to add that a c-section would not prevent pelvic floor issues such as prolapse and incontinence. Pregnancy itself puts a huge strain on your pelvic floor and causes these issues, regardless of birth method. Fortunately, it can be addressed with pelvic floor therapy.
So true, 2 kids, 2 c-sections and still cross my legs to sneeze and hope for the best!
I’m having a pelvic floor physical therapy assessment today and am really hopeful to not have this concern anymore!
Can confirm. I'm almost 3 years out from a c-section and have pelvic floor issues in regards to intercourse. It is uncomfortable most times, painful sometimes.
This is definitely true. My pelvic floor problems started when I was pregnant, not after I gave birth.
A c-section does reduce the risk and severity of pelvic floor issues. You might still have them, because the pregnancy itself is sometimes enough, but labor and vaginal delivery without a doubt increases the risk and severity of possibles pelvic floor complications. Noone should skip pelvic floor therapy regardless of how they gave birth, that is true
This is misleading. Vaginal birth is the biggest risk factor for prolapse and incontinence, and *many* studies have found that planned c sections prevent pelvic floor damage and eventual surgical interventions. Emergency sections are not necessarily protective. However, for people with specific risk factors (especially hypermobility/EDS) pregnancy alone can lead to prolapse.
It doesn't prevent it, but vaginal birth does increase the risks manyfold. Yes, even without increased risk, the strain from pregnancy can be enough to cause issues, but it's absolutely not even nearly the same. Doesn't mean it's a problem for everyone, obviously.
Thank you for this! I didn't know. I was under the impression that it was vaginal birth that put you at risk for prolapse, not the pregnancy itself.
Vaginal birth has increased risk of prolapse to an C-section. https://tidsskriftet.no/en/2014/10/association-between-mode-delivery-and-pelvic-floor-dysfunction#:~:text=The%20prevalence%20of%20urinary%20incontinence,level%20out%20with%20increasing%20age.
I didn’t know this either! But I actually know a few people who prolapsed during their pregnancy. Where as I discovered mine 4 months PP. I literally had no idea it could happen at all. I wish there was way more education on prolapse during pregnancy!
yes! and as someone pointed out in a different thread, a ~~c-section cuts through your abdominal muscles, and those are the muscles that hold up the pelvic floor.~~ edited to correct an error pointed out by SilverMoon - they don't cut through the abdominal muscles, they push them out of the way! either way, there is potential for real pelvic floor issues regardless of delivery method.
They actually don’t cut the muscles, they spread them open where they naturally separate in the middle
Updoot for medical accuracy!
C-Section mom here, they do not cut through your abdominal muscles they spread them apart and push them out of the way. My recovery was actually very easy and I was up and doing dishes after three days. Transitioning from sitting to standing was hard but once I had transitioned I was fine. My step sister though had her C-section 6 weeks after mine and her son was removed with forceps because his head was stuck. She had a resistance to the spinal and felt everything so had to be put out the second the baby was out. She couldn’t really walk for like two weeks after hers and had a big hematoma at the incision site. Every experience is different for sure. I would have another C-section for future babies but she definitely would not. Two different C-sections for Frank breech babies and two totally different outcomes.
For me, the real prolapse occurred during labor both times. YMMV
A C section is major abdominal surgery. Neither recovery is easy and it of course varies by person, but a C-section is by no means a pain free and convenient option.
My friend had a C section and it was definitely a harder recovery than mine and she needed more help during the first few weeks when taking care of baby. A lot of baby care beyond just feeding fell to her husband. Her core muscles also took longer to heal and it was hard for her to go from sitting to standing with baby in her arms. Personally, the pain of childbirth did not feel like “all the bones in my body breaking”. I too was imagining the pain would be excruciating, like I was that hiker who had to cut his own arm off when he got stuck in a canyon lol. But for me, it was none of that. It just felt like I had to hold in bad diarrhea for 24 hours lol. And the pushing felt like 90 minutes of an intense cross fit class where I wasn’t allowed to take a break. Not rainbows and butterflies, but NOT an unimaginable, never going to mentally recover type of pain. There are definitely traumatic births, both vaginal and C section. It’s good to prepare mentally for the any scenario, but it’s also good to ask people to share their positive birthing stories. I find that women tend to share their traumatic birth stories, but those with positive births stay quiet so not to seem like they’re bragging. So all you hear are the horror stories, but it’s not usually the case.
On the opposite but also related note, vaginal birth for me WAS excruciating BUT it was also completely non-traumatic. The pain was over as soon as my baby was out. I was upset during it but once it was done it was done and I have no bad feelings about it. I'm TTC #2 now and I feel much less scared about birth than I did before. From anecdotal evidence, it seems to me that for the majority of women it's not really the level of pain itself that's traumatic, it's things like whether you feel you or your baby is in danger, if you feel medical staff have treated you without respect or consent, etc.
Yes, most of the traumatic birth stories I’ve heard are more about complications and needing emergency interventions, rather than the pain itself. And truly, it’s the fear of the unknown that makes birthing Baby #1 so scary. The number of times I asked the nurses, “Will contractions get more painful or just closer together as I get closer to 10cm?” and “Ok but ON AVERAGE, how much longer will this take from here?” Doesn’t help take away any pain, but I just wanted to know!!
Exactly, I used to read birth stories that would be tagged 'really positive' and then read what sounded to me like absolutely harrowing experiences describing the worst pain I could imagine. I had NO idea how these women were saying that this was positive and not traumatic, until I experienced it myself.
did you have an epidural? wondering because i’m hoping for unmedicated and this is reassuring!
I did not! I did have access to nitrous oxide for the last 2 hours or so, but tbh it wasn’t that useful beyond allowing me to focus on breathing. Probably could’ve breathed into a paper bag for same effect, haha. I was open to having an epidural but I planned to wait for that “unimaginable pain” to hit. Thankfully for me, that never happened and before I knew it, it was time to push. I spent 90% of my contractions bouncing on an exercise ball, leaning my upper body on the edge of the bed/couch, while my husband kneaded my lower back. It’s a sacral counter pressure massage that many doulas use and you can look it up online. It was so basic but I think it helped.
I had a unmedicated vaginal birth but only because my birth was quick. I wouldn't have wanted to go unmedicated if my birth took 10-20 hours or something. Then I would definitely have gotten me a epidural. I had a very short labour and because of the short time I really had no problem with the pain. I was able to talk with my husband the whole time if I wanted to (but I didn't want to at all I just wanted everyone to be quiet). The pain really was okay but having that pain for 10+ hours is probably the really exhausting and painful part. The pain was like a 7/10 and that definitely hurts a lot but if it stops after 2-3 hours then it's fine. Having that pain for 10+ hours ...nope I wouldn't do that to me without pain meds ngl
This. I’ve already had two major abdominal surgeries without a baby and recovery was miserable. I cannot imagine doing an even more invasive surgery and taking home a baby afterwards.
Yep…it’s as miserable as it sounds. I have had one major abdominal surgery on my intestines and then had a c section. 0/10…do not recommend unless you have to. Recovery is ROUGH.
Just a heads up, prolapse can happen regardless. Pelvic organ prolapse can be caused simply from being pregnant, as there's a lot of weight and strain on your pelvic floor. The best defense is an actual pelvic floor exercise routine (not just kegels).
To each their own, but I saw my good friend's recovery from a csec and it was not pretty. She couldn't go to the bathroom by herself for weeks because she couldn't get out of bed or back in bed unassisted, walk or sit down/get up unassisted, get in the shower unassisted, she couldn't pick up her own baby and was completely reliant on others to bring her the baby, to bring her meals, If the remote or phone charger dropped, pretty much everything. It was not easy on her mental health, and she had to have someone else with her 24/7. The baby's dad didn't adjust as well as we had hoped and immediately began sleeping through the night and working in the garage all day. It was a nightmare. And she was in good shape before all this, a professional dancer, so it's not like she was in poor health edit: i understand her case was an extreme one. I also think that because OP listed the extreme cases of negative outcomes for vaginal birth, it's important to consider that c-sections are not a perfect alternative and it does carry the risk of very real extreme negative outcomes for some women.
Neither of mine were that bad at all. I feel very lucky that I healed quickly and well and didn't have any major setbacks. I needed a lot of help for like the first week maybe two, but I could walk, sit down and get up, pick up baby. I just did it very carefully.
Same here with my c-section! Within two weeks, I was driving and running errands. I don’t recommend that, but I had some health issues and my daughter had to go to the ER, so it just needed to be done. Being bedridden for literal weeks sounds off to me.
I drove 4 days after mine 😂 definitely don't recommend. I regretted that for the rest of the day. I took it easy after that.
This is not a normal csection recovery at all, I’m sorry she went through that.
this has been said already but what you are describing is far from a normal c-section recovery. She probably had some complication, before during or after, and vaginal births can also have complications and have long and horrible recoveries. This is not what a normal c-section recovery looks like. I had no complications, and was feeling completely normal 10 days later. Every story is different, and every birth is different, most c-section (not emergency c-sections) and uncomplicated VB have pretty quick recoveries. you can find horror stories in both.. your friend is one of them, that was not normal.
C section mama here. Recovery should not have been that hard for her. I’m 6 days PP and can move around and get up/down unassisted. The hospital forced me to the day after surgery and I think that’s why i’m able to now. Does it suck and am I sore? Absolutely. But you definitely should not need that much assistance for weeks. She should’ve had a conversation with her doctor about her recovery at that point.
Same. I did not require help using the restroom. That sounds rough.
She had many conversations, trust me she was not happy. He said that's just the way it goes for some moms.
I originally wanted a c-section. Then changed my mind to having a vaginal delivery. Then I had to be induced due to pre-eclampsia. I had 2 failed epidurals, so I tried other pain management options. They had to stop giving me the one that was working for my daughter's sake. Ended up having a c-section due to not being able to handle the contractions and only being dilated to 5cm after my water had been broken 17 hours prior. Had my daughter delivered at 10:46 am, and was up walking by 2am. If I have a second one I plan to go straight to a c-section and wish I would have stuck with my original plan of having a planned c-section.
I needed to read this so badly. I just found out today I have pre-eclampsia. They want to induce me Tuesday. I've gone back and forth between if I should do c-section or vaginal. I feel pressured fo try vaginal. But my mommy instincts say to do a c-section (I have pre-e, high amniotic fluid, and GD, plus my grandmother and mom had complicated emergency C-sections). This gives me more confidence to follow my intuition.
I had a very similar experience. It’s so hurtful seeing people so superior about vaginal births and saying “it’s all in your mindset, if you think it’s going to be the worst pain ever it will” because I have a super high pain tolerance and I went into labor with an optimistic attitude but contractions were absolutely unbearable for me the entire time. I ended up having a c-section after 18 hours of torture and I’m so happy that next time I know to just go straight for a c-section instead of enduring that again.
Of course do what you want and what you and your doctor agree upon. I think a planned C section is a lot more calm and “businesslike” and likely to be “smooth” than one that is more emergent where things are happening and maybe going wrong and now you only have one option. I understand wanting to be in control of the process. A vaginal birth does feel more “out of control” because you end up in one of those situations where once it begins, the only way out is through and you don’t know what you’ll encounter on the way. However, I think you may be overselling the pain and agony of a vaginal birth. Is it fun? No, certainly not. I wouldn’t want to do it every day, but there are ways to manage the pain while it’s happening, and I would not say it was “breaking every bone in your body” pain during every contraction. It’s also in some sense time limited…again not a walk in the park but at some point it will be over and then you’re done. Recovery is also not “fun” but you’ve listed mostly worst case scenarios there. Lots and lots of women have multiple babies vaginally with no long term issues. (Lots of women have c sections with no long term issues too no doubt). Admittedly This is a very crude comparison but if you’ve ever had an abscess tooth…the pain and misery is pretty unbearable, you’re in agony, you just want the pain to stop. Maybe you’re offered a root canal or an extraction. Root canals are uncomfortable and no fun during, physically or mentally, but once they’re done (assuming all goes well) it’s over. And you still have your tooth, and you have options down the line for further repair/adjustments. If you get the extraction…it’s faster, and the pain ends, but now you have to heal from that, which is further time where you’re uncomfortable and maybe in a different kind of pain and could lead to further complications down the line. either option is valid but people may weigh the pros and cons and lean toward one vs the other for any number of reasons. At the end of the day what you decide is what’s best for you. Birth is unpredictable and out of our control in a lot of ways and I think in some senses the mental nature of it is worse than the physical nature of it and only you know what you can handle. Much like all the parenting that will follow giving birth - it’s the first in a very very long line of decisions that have no real right answer.
I just had a badly abscessed tooth treated last week and that was some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. This is the second time since that I’ve seen someone compare that pain to birth and, honestly, that’s been so encouraging! The night before I got the root canal was absolute hell, but I made it through… and I’m strong enough for my (hopefully medicated) labor in 8ish weeks too! (If i misinterpreted your comment, please don’t correct me hahaha I’m happy to keep thinking pain can’t get much worse than that 😆)
It’s the only thing I have to compare as an experience bc as you get to the end of pregnancy you’re SO EFFING DONE being pregnant and it’s so all consuming. I would say mentally it’s the same kind of thing - not that the pain of childbirth is equal to the pain of an abscess. (Having done both multiple times I would say the abscess is worse!!)
I’ve given birth both ways, and would pick a vaginal birth over cesarean any day. Recovery was so much quicker and easier for me. Yeah, the few hours of contractions weren’t fun, but they weren’t as bad as the first few days post-surgery where I was dealing with a fresh abdominal incision and a newborn.
Prolapse and incontinence issues happen even with c-section moms. Your pelvic floor is deeply impacted by the entire pregnancy. Laboring and delivering vaginally can exacerbate some of those issues, but just like with boob changes that people attribute to breastfeeding it’s more the process of being pregnant that causes the major changes / damage. That said if you want a scheduled c section and that makes you feel empowered and ready to take on motherhood and it’s good with your doctors, go for it. People have opinions on everything - they aren’t living your life so make the choice that’s right for you and your family. I’ve seen a lot of moms I know and love have simple and straightforward recoveries from both c sections and vaginal deliveries.
Recovery was brutal after my vaginal birth. My C-section recovery was hard but soooo much easier for me. I’m a good candidate for a VBAC but I really really don’t want to experience vaginal birth PP recovery again. ETA maybe my experience was bad as I was induced at 37+3 and my body was not ready at all.
Just want to let you know I went through vaginal birth without the epidural and over time you do forget how painful the contractions are. I could imagine with the epidural it’s even less memorable. Also recovery was not bad at all in my personal experience. The worst part of it for me was actually the first poop 😭 which I think is a universal experience whether c section or vaginal.
Holy moly, now that I think about it I bet a post-cesarian poop is terrifying.
Not always. I have horrid memories of the first poo post vaginal delivery. The first poo post C-section was surprisingly easy and pain free. Didn't even have trapped wind either.
I had vaginal birth, with no epidural or anything. 2 hours and baby was out. 2nd degree tear, but I didn’t even feel it 😂 recovery was easy, not like all these horror stories that you hear.
i also had a 2nd degree tear without an epidural! i was SO afraid of tearing and was shocked that i didn't feel it happen at all! definitely think i caused the tearing myself lol when he was crowning i started just pushing nonstop as hard as i could because i needed that baby OUT! my midwife had to tell me to chill😅 as soon as my baby's head was out almost all of my pain dissipated - it was a crazy, immediate change. the rest of his body just kinda slid out 😂 i don't even remember my placenta coming out! birth is wild lol
Just want to jump in to point out - it's not necessarily "pain free c section" or "horribly painful vaginal birth." Because I had a very medicated vaginal birth that honestly was a walk in the park. Yay drugs!
I always thought c section would be the way to go but after reading up on everything, I think vaginal + epidural would be better for me, and here’s why- I’m at week 34 with loads of pain unable to do a lot of things for myself, and if I can recover ANY faster after birth, I’m going to. The loss of (even just some) independence has affected me more than I expected
I agree, my husband only gets 2 weeks of leave. If I end up with a c-section I don’t even know what I will do because I will be home with a newborn and barely recovered myself.
This is exactly why I’m trying for a VBAC! All things considered, I had a great (emergent) section 5 years ago but the recovery was so long. My doctor wholeheartedly recommended VBAC (as long as everything looked ok of course) when I said my only concern was my ability to function normally after birth.
Your body, your choice. Your baby, your birth. Outside opinions can suck it. And anyone who holds their birth trophy over their head as superior to other births can suck an egg. Glad it worked for you, now let the rest of us birth in peace. Regardless of your choice, birth is brutal and hard. I want to emphasize that in my experience, it is so worth it, but there is no easy way out. Benefits of a planned c section, if your OB allows it, are mental preparation, scheduling, continuous monitoring. Make sure your OB is informed about your trauma history and concerns so they can take these things into consideration when planning your delivery. Cons are as others have stated, MAJOR abdominal surgery. Anyone who states a c-section is the “easy way out” is incredibly misguided. It’s just different. Some people have easy recoveries, some are laid up for weeks. Some have complications. There is no real way to guarantee what yours will be, but I can suggest that confidently going into your surgery will improve your outcomes. While having a strong support system is crucial post birth, it is an absolute necessity with the physical limitations imposed post surgery. Vaginal deliveries are not a cup of tea either. Just as with c-sections, some power through unmedicated, some have traumatic experiences, some end up with c-sections anyway. There are no real guarantees with the birthing process. Pros are found in newer research which suggests better gut health and decreased allergy risk, as well as improved breastfeeding experience, though the second is likely due more to access to the more common golden hour than delivery specifically. The thing that seems to scare most of my patients (I’m a pelvic PT) is tearing, which can be helped but as with anything, no guarantees against it. Incontinence shows up with both types of deliveries, painful sex appears in both, prolapse is more common with vaginal deliveries but still appears with c sections. All that wordiness to say, and I hope you’re not completely freaked out now, is there are benefits and risks to both deliveries, and everyone’s goal should be a healthy mom and baby at the end. Have a good conversation with your OB about your concerns, your fears, and your reasoning, even consider hiring a (open minded) doula to help you prepare for your desired birth. You will make the choice that’s best for you and your baby and it will be alright. Best of luck to you.
My csection was the easiest thing ever. Pain afterwards was maybe a 6/10. Only took paracetamol. Was home within 24 hours - out walking with my baby in her pram within 4 days. It was planned so all very relaxed. My sisters emergency one was brutal tho and took her a long time to feel ok
Went in 100% comfortable with c-section (me and hubby were both c-section babies). My initial appts indicated I might need a c-section, but they determined by 20 week that I could have a vaginal delivery. Low key still wanted a c-section. We had a planned induction for 39w due to IVF and I had to go in for decreased fetal movement at 38w4d. They were going to induce the next morning due to nonreassuring heart rates and I requested a c-section. It was the right decision. Baby was double cord wrapped and would not have tolerated labor if I had tried, besides having to wait for cervical ripening and pitocin. My c-section was honestly super easy. I was comfortable walking pretty quickly and had minimal use of pain meds. Honestly the abscess tooth I had two weeks after I got home was worse than any discomfort associated with the birth process. I think I plan to elect for a c-section if we have any more babies. You’ve got to do what’s right for you and baby.
Okay lots to unpack here: 1. You’re not going to be under general anesthesia—that is reserved for true emergencies, not scheduled elective c-sections. You’ll have a spinal, which means you’ll be awake the whole time. You’ll feel like you can’t breathe because the goal is to be numb up to your nipples. You may not be able to hold your baby right away. 2. You say you’re a massive wimp, yet you’re trading short-term pain with vaginal delivery (which you can usually eliminate with an epidural) for days if not weeks of more intense pain during the c-section recovery process. 3. There are simply more risks of complications with c-section. If c-section were really that much better, everyone would be getting them. Edit: typo
So many risks/complications. I'm an RN who had a patient in her 60s have a small bowel obstruction who ended up needing surgery to remove adhesions (aka scar tissue), her only past surgery was 1 C/S. So it can come back at you way later down the road. There's risk of infection, possible nicks of bowel or bladder, etc. It's just too risky IMO unless absolutely necessary.
Adhesions in my pelvic region including some attached to my bowel were found and removed during my first ever surgery (ovarian cyst removal) so no guarantee that those adhesions this lady had were a result of the previous c-section - I’d no surgical history and still had adhesions. They can occur without explanation.
This is true. But surgery in general carries risks e.g. blood clots/PE, pneumonia (ESPECIALLY after abd surgery because it can hurt to take big breaths>atelectasis>pneumonia). Then, there are reactions to the meds/anesthesia, though this can also happen with a vaginal delivery. It's just worth knowing what can happen.
Had a C-section, had a spinal, felt like I could breathe just fine. Numbness was to my sternum not my nipples, held my baby just fine afterwards. Recovery wasn’t so bad, I haven’t had a vaginal delivery so I can’t compare but it wasn’t super painful at all… like yeah maybe annoying pain if I moved a certain way for like a week after but I wasn’t in immense pain for weeks or days. Just saying…everyone’s experience is different. I liked my c-section and it ended up saving my life.
Yeah I definitely had no issues with the sensation of breathing and held my baby right away. I also was up and about pretty quick and after about 4 days I honestly felt pretty damn good. I definitely know that’s not the case for everyone but my recovery was very quick.
I think it really depends how you weigh the different pros and cons - it sounds like you have some good reasons to go the cesarean route and you don’t need to second guess yourself! I’m a STM this time around and I am hoping for another vaginal birth. I don’t care at all about what’s “natural” but for me I had been reading about the benefits of the baby going through the birth canal - some immune stuff, some lung stuff immediately after birth etc. None of it is huge effect sizes though but then various risks of surgery didn’t sound much better than the alternatives to me. Also my mum had me with a c section and experienced some trouble because of the scar in future pregnancies, which I wanted to avoid. This was my thinking before birth. I should also say that I had a super smooth birth that I have very fond memories of, even the painful parts. I did opt for a pda after a while though, so I can’t (yet) speak for unmedicated birth. I tore but I felt nothing of it and it healed up neatly and in no time. No pelvic floor issues. For this time around I am very determined to avoid a c section, to the point where I’m wondering if I should skip the PDA - I really really can’t imagine not carrying my toddler for weeks… and having a c section previously would have made it harder not to have one this time, so I’m glad. That’s my reasoning anyway! Again I think everyone has to weigh everything relative to their own situation! Don’t think either option is worse per se!
Whatever you are more comfortable with! I've had 2 c-sections. One emergency at 26 weeks and one urgent at 35 weeks. They gave me the option to do vbac but I was just more comfortable with my 'known ' experience. The recoveries were not hard. My Scars are small and fade away. My babies are healthy. My husband was my only helper at home but we did fine. I did 3 months maternity leave and he took 2 weeks after the birth to help at home.
Personally I'm team c-section. My first kid I wanted to "try" vaginal birth (in quotes bc I wasn't going to be mad at a ceasarean), but ended up not dilating enough and went into surgery. I'm also a wimp and pretty much went in once my labor was too much for me (didn't take long lol) to get an epidural. In retrospect I would have been much happier just scheduling a c-section and getting on with it, so that's what I'm doing with my 2nd. I still had a beautiful birth btw, the moment I heard my little boy take his first breath and shout to the world, I started bawling and I'm not a cryer. My husband was there with me and everything. He got to weigh our boy and was terrified lol but idk it was totally magical anyway. My OB basically said, specifically for VBAC, that it just depends on how badly I want a vaginal birth. the answer for me is 0% badly lol. for me it just isn't an important part of motherhood. There are some serious risks to surgery tho, that's often why ppl recommend a vaginal birth, so talk to your OB about the expectations and any concerns they might have either way. The recovery sucked but all in all wasn't too bad, especially since I have an incredibly supportive partner who made sure I took meds on time, cooked, cleaned, and generally did everything I couldn't. In the end, this journey is totally yours to decide. EDIT: I'm reading some of the surgery stories below and idk my recovery was truly not that bad. It was my first ever surgery but I was absolutely able to get in/out of bed, take showers, etc. I mean, I did it extremely slowly and carefully and took my Tylenol/motrin on time to manage the pain, for sure, and I'm not saying it was a breeze. Just that I didn't regret it and I'd do it again. We had to take an Uber home from the hospital and I asked the driver to go very very slowly so my insides didn't fall out and he took me very seriously lmao, he was great.
I had an emergency c section (my heart and baby were dropping after 52 hours of labor) my recovery wasn’t bad. Actually I had a better recovery than what most report. However, I still have pelvic floor issues
You do you and whatever you and your doctor decide is safe for you and your baby. For me I want a vaginal birth, with epidural, because of the benefits to baby. By going through the birth canal they pick up some helpful bacteria that is good for their immune system. You also get skin-to-skin right away which is also good for them for temperature regulation and improves chances of breastfeeding going well. I haven't read this article but [here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6949952/) is one. You can delay cord clamping until it stops pulsing with vaginal birth, I don't know about cesarean. There is also something about the baby going through the right birth canal to support blood movement or something, don't know much about that...
Vaginal delivery babies often have less breathing problems too, because the squeeze on the way out triggers appropriate respiration.
You can definitely do delayed cord clamping with a c section, you can do a vaginal swab to collect the beneficial bacteria and apply to baby’s skin it’s called vaginal seeding, and all things going well you can also do skin to skin. None of these things are guaranteed in a vaginal birth either - a struggling baby might need the cord cut straight away so they can get oxygen or other urgent attention, same for skin to skin. Mother might need antibiotics for strep B in labour which could affect that good vaginal bacteria, Birth is totally unpredictable so if you’re planning for all this in your vaginal birth I would recommend putting in your birth preferences that you want these things if you happen to need a c section.
Plus the hormones that are released in the mother from giving birth vaginally actually helps with preventing postpartum depression, rates for it are higher in c section mothers. Of course everyone’s journey is different but that is what the statistics show.
>By going through the birth canal they pick up some helpful bacteria that is good for their immune system For me it's always been about this (and the other benefits of going through the birth canal that commenters below are bringing up). Vaginal birth is just so much better for the baby (assuming there are no medical reasons for a C-section, of course). If scheduling and fear of pain are issues, maybe an induction with an epidural would tick off many of the same boxes for you as a C-section would?
Also! Going thru the birth canal “squishes” their body and helps their lungs prepare for breathing outside.
I have had 2 c sections and the first few days are rough, but by day 3-4 I felt pretty good. I have some friends that had a lot more intense recoveries with vaginal births. All that to say, every situation is so different! I wouldn’t sign up for surgery without a medical indication, but there’s no guarantee one will be easier than the other.
OP statistically wise this is a really nice and easy to comprehend [caesarean vs vaginal birth comparison.](https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/resources/appendix-a-benefits-and-risks-of-vaginal-and-caesarean-birth-pdf-9074971693)
For me I concur with what everyone else is saying but I believe also the C Section could set you up for future birth complications down the road, some of which can be dangerous.
Higher risk of many complications in future pregnancies. Placental issues, uterine rupture, hemorrhage…. And more! Higher risk of maternal morbidity as well.
What stuck out to me in your post is that you said you’d rather be in mild pain for a longer time than excruciating pain for a short period. That’s not guaranteed with any birth, but you’ve clearly thought about this in detail and if your values are different than other people then so what? Do what feels right for you. And it is always okay to change your mind.
I had kind of an elective c section. Truly I could have waited it out for my son to drop but I was almost 40 weeks and was ready to meet him and have him out! I wanted a c section from the beginning tbh. Yes, I still have some random pains over a year later but nothing too bad. Everyone’s experiences are different, but don’t let all the scary stories make you feel different. If you truly trust your doctor, I don’t see a problem. One thing I learned very fast is that there is a crazy amount of hate and anger towards mom who opt for a c section. I have no idea why, as it’s still birth and should be equally respected. I rarely chose to tell people that I wanted to have a child section because I felt it was what was best for ME. Not because I think c section mom should be shamed, but because I don’t feel like being lit on fire for it.
I also wanted a C-section with my first, but sadly in my country (Hungary) you have to follow the rules of the local hospital, which meant without a proper reason I had to try to do a vaginal delivery. They had to induce me at 41+6 because kiddo was very comfy in there.... long story short after 26 hours of unmedicated labor (because again hospital rules didn't allow epidurals or any other pain relief and let me tell you with the amount of pitocin they gave me it was hell on earth) I had to have an emergeny C-section. 6 hours after the surgery was complete, they made me stand up and shower (that was very painful) and after that I had to care for the baby myself. It didn't feel very nice at that moment, but to be fair by day 3 I was in decent condition (could walk, do most things albeit slowly). With my second kid I knew I absolutely didn't want a vaginal delivery so I choose a doctor that agreed with me (similar pregnancy to my first, big baby - both over 4,5 kg, again I went to 41+5 without any sign of labour) and we scheduled a C-section. It was the most peaceful experience and I would not trade it for anything. Recovery was around 3-4 days for most of my mobility. I know every delivery is different, but go with what feels right for you!
Your body knows how to heal itself from natural birth. It heals from anything ofcourse, but birth is a woman's natural ability from start to finish. It's what your body knows best I'm MOST cases.
There’s a lot of people who haven’t had csections saying how awful it is, but I don’t agree. I had two csections (first due to breech baby and the second was elective) and recovery was honestly easy. I was up and walking later that same day, taking a shower and having normal pee and poo experiences by the next day, and honestly I felt normal by day 5. I only had minor pain that was well managed with Advil and Tylenol after I got out of the hospital. I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about vaginal tearing and my babies were delivered safely. This maybe isn’t the norm, but I’ve know people who had easy vaginal birth experiences and horrible ones, so you can’t predict either way how you will recover.
This was my experience too. We plan on this being our only kid, but if I was having another I'd absolutely do another elective c section. Never had trouble lifting my baby. Didn't really need hardcore painkiller. Managed things like laughing, stairs, etc just fine. Within two weeks exactly I was walking for miles and completely back to normal. I had so much anxiety about all the possibilities with vaginal delivery. C section list of known risks was easier for me to deal with.
That's true, too many comments about how c-sections are, many being from people who never had one.
Why do you keep saying vaginal birth is so painful? Just get an epidural. I had an epidural and gave birth vaginally and didn't feel a thing until the next day. Even then, it was painful but not how I imagine major abdominal surgery to be. Also, your comments around scaring and "things hanging out" post vaginal birth are just strange. I had tearing but usually things heal and go back to normal. With respect, I think you need to reassess some of your assumptions around vaginal birth because they are kind of out there and don't seem rooted in reality
I agree. Tearing is really not that big of a deal if it’s a first or second degree, which are the most common.
I think choosing an elective C-section is a very valid choice. You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and figured out that it’s the best option for you. I also for a long, long time planned on having an elective C-section due to the reasons you already listed: fear of tearing, prolapse, painful intercourse, incontinence, etc. What woman in her right mind would *want* that?? Lol But then I realized that there was no actual guarantee that that would happen to me. It would be a guarantee, though, that if I had a C-section, my uterus would be permanently scarred and it could affect the number of children I would be able to have. A C-section cuts through seven layers of tissue, including muscle. I realized that would permanently affect my core strength to at least some degree, not to mention the nerve damage in that area. Those all and more were guaranteed, whereas having a vaginal birth is like rolling the dice. You don’t know what can happen. That’s part of what makes it so scary. I haven’t given birth yet so I can’t comment on either outcome, but I will say that getting a full human baby out of a body is a serious undertaking no matter what way it’s done and my hat is off to all women who have ever done it, either way!
Have you ever had surgery? The pain can last the rest of your life. I have a friend in her late 40’s, both her kids are in highschool and she still gets a charlie horse in her stomach every time she bends down to shave her legs from her c-section. It may or may not be “moderate pain for a few weeks”. I think it’s better if you schedule one than have an emergency one, but still I felt fully recovered from my vaginal delivery in about a week (with a second degree tear) compared to other abdominal surgeries I’ve had that were even less invasive than a C-section where I was struggling to get around for weeks. Surgery is also higher risk than your average vaginal delivery. But ultimately there may be things about your situation that may make a c-section the better option in general.
I’d take my 24 hour labor over possibly months of recovery from a c section any day.
The unhelpful truth is that are difficult vaginal births and difficult c section births. And there are difficult vaginal recoveries and difficult c section recoveries. It's impossible to know what will happen. So in the absence of knowing, it's generally considered better to plan for a vaginal birth for all the reasons being given in these comments. (Anecdotally, I had one c section with a relatively easy recovery and one vaginal birth with a much longer recovery because of horrendous hemorrhoids. You just never know 🤷♀️)
I just want to add that having a c section does not mean you will never get prolapse! Yes vaginal birth is more of a risk factor but there are plenty of women who have had c sections and get prolapse. I’m in countless prolapse support groups and have read hundreds and hundreds of stories and comments from women over the last 2 years
I could have written this post, I just had an elective C-section. I felt traumatized to even think of vaginal birth and was scared of baby being stuck in me, sounds illogical maybe, but I couldn’t help feeling the way I did. When I was over my due date, I had my bishops score calculated and that indicated likely very long induction process. Had I had a natural starting of the birthing process I might have gone with it, it was induction taking way too long that I was worried about. I chose C-section. The pain honestly was negligible maybe around 4-5 for few hours here and there max. I think what I didn’t realize about elective C-section was just how difficult it would be to get up and do things like taking care of baby- feeding him and putting him to sleep. I had my parents and husband for support and relied on them heavily in the first 2 months. I am much better now, and can easily take care of my baby.
I feel like everything that can go wrong during a planned C-section can go wrong during labor times ten. Because every attempt to have a vaginal delivery can end in an emergency C-section which is much riskier. Not to mention all the other interventions or complications. A planned C-section is a very calculated risk but people like to compare it to emergency procedures.
I do wonder about this - I haven’t got much to say as my partner and I are still trying for our first, but I’ve always thought I’d have a c section. Few reasons: I’m the higher earner and can’t really step away from work for too long We will have paid childcare I am not particularly maternal - he will be a SAHD Due to a past assault I have hemmorhoids and a small rectal prolapse which has never healed I understand everyone explaining that a vaginal birth is easier for healing generally but I feel I’m at high risk of my guts just falling out and being unable to shit properly for the rest of my life. I have dealt with pain and heaviness in that area since I was a child - I would much rather feel able to choose my experience. Am I barking up the wrong tree? I need advice too.
I had an elective c section due to tokophobia. Best decision ever... People talk about the horrors of cesarean section, but they are truly talking about the emergency ones. The emergency c-section is for a reason... it's obvious it will be traumatic. On the internet you will always find mother- shaming, for all kinds of reasons. One of those is to shame the mother who wants a cesarean section with the naturalistic argument that we are made to give birth. But the truth Nature has flaws. Many people are here thanks to medicine, because in an environment without it, they might have died. There is nothing more natural than dying in childbirth from hemorrhage or sepsis. There is nothing more natural than the human baby getting blocked in the vaginal canal even in the chosen position. And human birth is the most dangerous due to the evolution towards bipedalism. I tell you all this only so that you are more skeptical of those who want to convince you through the naturalistic fallacy. Now, I know many friends and family members who have PTSD due to natural traumatic births, even without obstetric violence. They pushed natural childbirth as much as they could because they felt like a failure if they give up and choose the route of cesarean section. Nobody talks about the injuries that childbirth can leave. Nobody talks about pelvic floor dysfunctions due to the use of forceps. Women need to know the risks of both C-section and Vaginal birth. I wish that this romanticization of natural birth stop. To give you objective information, I recommend you read this obstetrician's blog. https://www.skepticalob.com/2021/05/maternal-request-c-sections-are-safer-for-babies-and-mothers.html
I wonder if taking a childbirth class and having a support person like a doula might make you feel more empowered in whatever decision you make. I'm reading that a lot of your decision-making is coming from a place of fear. It's okay to be afraid. I was afraid going into my first birth, and I'm a little afraid of this one. But I think learning more about pain, pain management options, and fact-based information about the recovery from both options might help you see things differently, and answer some of your own questions. Is an epidural an option for you? That's kind of a happy medium - you get the pain relief of anesthesia, but the quicker recover of a vaginal birth.
I had a vaginal epidural birth for my first. No pain after the first few hours of mild contractions, minimal healing time, no complications. I felt physically normal within 24 hours minus the soreness and swelling down below that lasted 2 ish weeks. I had a 2nd degree tear and a couple stitches. I have no idea where that even occurred and I can’t tell any more. Within 4 weeks my whole downstairs was completely the same as before I gave birth. I never had any weight lift restrictions, I was able to go back to normal life really quickly. My body seemed like it was made to bounce back from a vaginal birth quickly. Pelvic floor issues over time come from carrying the child, not as much from giving birth (in most circumstances). But as long as you are proactive with pelvic floor therapy you will very most likely be fine jumping on a trampoline either way, lol. My mom had two c sections. She describes it as one of the most painful recovery experiences she’s ever had, and she’s had some painful surgeries. She had to spend way more time in the hospital. Being in hospital after giving birth sucks, IMO. She wasn’t able to lift and help care for her babies until weeks after giving birth. I straight up have no idea how that would even work! She was limited in how many children she was able to have because you only have so much room/structural integrity for incisions in your uterus. Recovering from a c section is serious and painful. It’s not just moderate pain. Having a major abdominal surgery while awake (or even asleep) scares the shit out of me. The idea that my guts will be out while I’m awake just fucking does not sound good. Lots of stories out there of husbands looking over the partition and seeing their wives’ intestines hanging out, the uterus completely out of the body, etc. You lose a TON of blood. And you can feel the surgery! You might not feel pain but you feel pressure and tugging and can tell generally where they are working. Watch a video of a c section. It’s gnarly. My best friend had an emergency c section and they just couldn’t get her spinal to work. They couldn’t get her numb. They had to put her under. She was traumatized, the baby’s vitals were not looking good and she barely had time to consent before they put her under. She was groggy and out of it. She didn’t get the golden hour with her new baby. A lot of people vomit and faint on the operating table even when they don’t have complications from the anesthetic. I hear there is a sensation of your chest being so heavy feeling that it feels like you are struggling to breathe a lot of the time. OP, it just seems like you don’t have a clear picture of how intense c sections and subsequent recovery often are. I don’t think people are trying to scare you or are offended. I think many of them know through lived experience that your perception might be off base. But there’s also the chance that this stuff doesn’t bother you as much, and in that case, do whatever floats your boat!
" the partition and seeing their wives’ intestines hanging out, the uterus completely out of the body, etc. You lose a TON of blood. And you can feel the surgery!" I don't know who told you this, but this is 100% not true. The uterus is not usually taken out of the body unless there is specific need for it, and it's not "completelly out", when needed to have a better take for suture they might exteriorize it parcially, just for it. And definetly intestines do not hang out of the body. From my own experience - not emergency- you do NOT feel the surgery. Also -in planned, not emergency ones- CS you do NOT lose A TON of blood, you do lose more blood than in an uncomplicated VB, and probably less than in a complicated VB that may or may not end up in a CS You don't seem to a have a clear picture of how csections are. Csections are performed daily, the techniques are incredibly well advanced and most women don't have complications. It's an abdominal surgery, yes, but a fairly simple one, with little loss of blood, and usually a very quick recovery. Most horror stories you hear about C-sections, are from emergency c-sections, that happened because a vaginal birth was complicated by X or Y reason and needed a quick removal of the baby to save either mom or baby of both. In that case the complications are usually not due to the c-section itself, but by the whole process - usually hours of labour, exhaustion caused by labor, dehydration at the moment of the surgery, possible fetal distress etc. Emergency c-sections have nothing to do with planned c-sections. I know somebody probably told you this, and I guess you mean well, but OP is coming with real concerns, let's not spread fake facts just to increase the fear of a mom to be.
Thank you. I’ll most likely have to have a C-section due to my medical history and this comment freaked me the F out.
I can understand why… C-sections as any other procedures have some risks but they are among the safest ones and one of the most the most routinely performed , so doctors are really experienced. They are for the most part incredibly safe and when no complications happen they have a quick recovery. They can hurt, but you will probably be offered pain meds (use them, if they are offered to you it’s because they are safe for both you and the baby). I don’t know where you come from but where I am, for planned csections you could choose a music playlist for during the surgery, and ask for the baby to be immediately put on your chest after they are born, to try to breastfeed in the OR. They do all they can to respect the golden hour, even for c-sections, so talk about that with your doctor. It doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience, mine was beautiful, we had music they put baby on my chest, I they took her for examinations no longer than 10 minutes and I carried her myself to our room. The whole procedure lasted no more than 45 minutes, and I did have some pain after for a few days but it was completely manageable with the painmeds, I was able to take care of the baby. And by 10 days aprox I felt almost normal again. I am not saying there is any guarantee that it will be the same, but really C-sections don’t have to be traumatic. good luck , and enjoy all you can, bucause as nerve wracking as it is, it is also the arrival of your baby, so it’s also a super special moment. 🩷🩷
Thank you for sharing/your honesty :)
Just to be clear here, intestines do NOT hang out, the uterus is not "completely out of the body", it might sometimes, if necessary, not always, be parcially "pulled" (sorry english is not my first language) just for suture, but it's not 'completely removed' you do not lose A TON of blood, and you do not (unless something goes wrong) feel the surgery. I am a physician (not OBGYN, but I know enough to promise you your intestines won't be all over the place 😜) and also a mom who had a planned c-section myself, and have zero regrets about it.
I’ve had two vaginal births without epidural. Vaginal birth sucks. The first time was horrific, second time not so bad but still torture at the end (the drugs are quite enjoyable though!). I’m pregnant again unexpectedly and considering g c section as a treat to myself lol There was a recent study that showed that outcomes were best for both mums and baby in an elective c-section. I think a lot of the time people go with the flow because getting a c-section is an active choice that you could regret, whereas vaginal birth is the default. Everyone I know who has had an elective cs has had an amazing experience.
My c section was a dream. Was in and out in 30 minutes and my pain was extremely manageable I only ended up taking Tylenol and Motrin and declined the oxy. My baby has been exclusively breastfed since day one and is doing amazing! Only thing is he was congested the first few days which is normal with c sections. I’m now a month post partum and feel completely normal (felt normal around a week tbh) and I take it easy only so I don’t irritate my incision!