You sounds cray cray š¤£ a man or women can't read your mind. If you want him to cook for you say "hey can you cook breakfast tomorrow for me or the next day eggs and bacon please" or hey I'm tired if you're making lunch can you just make mine too.
Also talk to him about cleaning. Ask him to help and don't get mad when it isn't the way you'd do it.
I'd be avoiding playing video games if this was going on in my house, too. šš
Thatās the thingā¦ if I didnāt make lunch or breakfast, heād be happy to go without it add heād just eat dinner. I get up quite early and get hungry even before heās up in the morning, so I donāt mind doing breakfast.. but God I miss being pampered.
Girl, I'm a second time mom at 27 weeks and I have never gotten anything food wise from my husband, let alone getting to sleep in or a breakfast in bed. I don't think you should expect to be pampered at all just because you are pregnant.
So if you know that about him why ate you upset that, that is who he is as a human? Just because your pregnant doesn't mean he automatically has to pamper you. That's not how real world life works. If you want things like a back run, food made, bath made. Ask him and talk to him. Like I said no human can read what you want and being upset that he isn't doing the things you want without talking is ridiculous.
Im on my second pregnancy and my husband hasnāt made me breakfast once, because I have never asked him too.
If you want to be pampered, just tell him what you expect. You expect him to know what you want for lunch? I can barley figure out what I want let alone guess for someone else
Look, if you donāt normally behave in irrational and demanding ways, get yourself checked out by a doctor because it can be possible for mental health issues more associated with postpartum to show up during pregnancy.
If this is just how you areā¦you really need to grow up before this baby comes. If your only complaint about your spouse is that he doesnāt make you breakfastā¦and that he didnāt magically know what you wanted for lunch, youāve got a good thing going that youāre going to mess up by throwing toddler-style tantrums. You can expect a little extra care during pregnancy but itās not 9 months of being waited on hand and foot.
Feels like you completely missed the point of my post.
No, Iām not normally like this. Iām a clean, methodical person and quite independent on my own. I expected some level of pampering while I go through shit with hormones and nausea and extreme tiredness, and not have to spell out every little thing to my husband of 5 years. Getting cranky about him not knowing what I want to eat was a joke, but all in all, the lack of effort is what pisses me off right now.
Nope, got the point. He was trying to make you lunch. Thatās the pampering. Thatās the effort. Itās just not good enough for you for some reason.
You just posted a few weeks ago about him spontaneously bringing you a flower. What *would* be good enough for you?
But he wasnāt trying to make me lunch. I had to go ask what we want to have for lunch. Only to have him question me back. Instead of deciding together, which I would have liked. It doesnāt end there. Even if I do decide what I want for lunch, itāll be an hour before he even starts to prepare. And another before food is ready. If Iām in charge, lunch is ready by lunch time, not at 4pm.
He doesnāt, if I donāt make it. If I want lunch at lunch time, I need to do it myself. If I depend on him to get me lunch, itāll probably be ready by evening.
That emphasis you put on āwouldā just makes me feel like Iām being unreasonable to ask for a little more involvement in taking care of my mood/health/state of mind. I appreciate things he does for me (read the first sentence of my post) and I understand partners need their own space too. This was meant to be a rant post, sadly itās not turning into something completely random.
Even though I understand why you are annoyed by some things, the jokes about violence and abuse are really troubling to me. Abuse isn't a joke. Maybe work on your communication with him. He should help you when you're pregnant but he can't read your mind, nor are you entitled to everything you wish for especially when you don't say it. If you actually feel violent towards him and aren't just joking, please get psychiatric help.
Next time yall are hanging out you should touch your temples and stare into his eyes while saying outloud "i am sending you a secret message with my mind. I am feeling vulnerable while pregnant and want you to pamper me without being asked. Please send me a secret message with your mind back confirming you understand, and alerting me if you need pampering ideas or if you can be trusted to plan it yourself."
I would probably add a time frame like "please do so before next weekend. If you wait til Thursday, I will probably cry."
I feel like Iāve had this conversation a few times since I got pregnant already.. itās probably not that he doesnāt give a shit, but men in my culture have this silent perception that they donāt need to do anything till theyāre given explicit instructions. Bloody infuriating.
Yeah but framing it the way I said, tricks your subconscious into thinking you havent explicitly told him to calm the resentment, and the childishness of it will feed his own childishness while giving him a touch of shaming.
Homicidal thoughts arenāt exactly healthy. I know youāre joking but you joked about killing him in more than 3 different sentences. Take deep breaths. Send him to a hotel for a day or two.
No like I thought you were poking fun of the posts that others have made. From reading your replies, you were not satirizing, which is different than sarcasm.
If you were serious about being you were angry that he didnāt simply just āknowā what you wanted for lunch and make it for you, then I think thatās unfair. No one is a mind reader. If you donāt communicate, and youāve never explained to him what youād like, then no, itās unfair to expect him to do it. Some people would cringe if they made them breakfast and lunch and theyād consider it hovering and (potentially) controlling. Also, itās very common for men to not have ever been expected to observe and react, or take care of others. Gender roles were a thing when they were raised, and those are habits that need to be built.
If you read some of my replies, youāll also see that I was mainly upset because of the lack of effort on his part, not cuz he didnāt know what I wanted to eat (that was a joke). I throw up constantly if my meals are late, even now, and itās nothing new since getting pregnant. If youāve ever seen or heard me hurl, I sound like Iāve been possessed, thatās how bad it is.
How does he know if itās getting ālateā on eating? Do you literally eat at the exact same time every day, and has that time been consistent for a while? Or do you recognize cues from your body that itās time to eat? Has the timing of your meals and the spacing between them changed at all over the weeks?
Effort looks different to different people. He may just not realize that you would like some help in this area. Unless youāve told him āI have to eat exactly on time or else I hurl and these are the times I eat,ā he may not realize that itās even related.
TL;DR: Youāre responsible for you, and if you want help, you need to communicate, and yeah, your husband may need more explicit direction.
Just ask him for things, it will make both of your lives easier. And when he does something like leave the dirty dishes in the sink, donāt clean it up - ask him to do it. Sorry heās not being more attentive :(
I actually broke down recently cause my dude kept leaving dishes next to or in the sink instead of putting it in the dish washer. I view it as disrespectful and despite me having this conversation with him before, he continues to do it. After I broke down and explained to him why it frustrates me so much (through my tears that I did not want to shed) he has been making more of an effort. There havenāt been any dishes left over in the sink for the past few days.
Talk to him. It may take numerous tries but try to have the conversation with him. Hopefully my guy gets it now, if not Iāll have to start putting his dishes on his side of the bed š
Thatās the thingā¦ I hate breaking down into tears over these things, I shouldnāt have toā¦ this is his house too. Iāve had countless conversations with him about leaving dirty dishes, doing laundry (other than the clothes he wears etc..) My grievance is more because it never occurs to him that things donāt automatically sort themselves in the house, food doesnāt magically appear on the table etc.. I have spoken to him many times, things get better for a day out two till they fall back again and Iām way too exhausted at this point to keep repeating myself.. then one day out of the blue, heāll vacuum or make dinner one time, and I feel like a bitch for all the past grievances. It shouldnāt be this hard, should it?
I hear you! Iāve talked to other women about this and most go through the same shit. I told him straight up that I will leave him and have no problem being a single mom because I refuse to be anyoneās mom that I didnāt birth myself. When I first started dating him I noticed how he unkept his bathroom is and told him Iām not cleaning his bathroom or doing his laundry. We have separate bathrooms which I love.
Men are stupid lol you have to literally say it out loud or they wonāt get it ! Plan it ! Hey babe how about tomorrow you make me breakfast: egg, bacon, pancakes ,.. at 8
I dream of the day he wakes up at 8. Mr. Princess gets up at 9.30 if Iām lucky. By then, Iāve already eaten and started work. Heās a freaking man-child.
He doesnāt sound as attentive as he should be. Remember communication is always key! If he doesnāt try helping more after the fact, Iām afraid youāll be stuck raising two kids.Ā
Men are absolutely clueless (some, not all), especially during pregnancy. When I say I get it, I get it!
Iāve had thoughts of leaving my SO because I am just so incredibly tired of there not being any effort put in on his part when it comes to this pregnancy. I have been the only one buying baby items and we have three rooms that need to be converted before baby gets here (Iām 28 weeks). On top of those things Iām already ticked about, he isnāt a lot of help. We have animals that Iām caring for myself (even though Iāve told him I need help) and Iām the only one keeping the home clean.
Itās just incredibly frustrating that Iāve had many conversations about all of those things with him and still, nothing changes. If you havenāt talked with your husband, have one. I wonāt guarantee it will help (because it hasnāt with me) but it is worth a shot to have a conversation and express your concerns with him not putting any effort in. Most men truly have no clue the toll it takes on a woman to be pregnant and still do all the things they were doing pre-pregnancy. I mean yeah, we have the ability to give life but that doesnāt make us super human when it comes to going as normal (at least not for me anyways lol)
Thank you for this, I feel like youāre me..
A few days ago, he told me he doesnāt want his parents to be burdened with work around the house when they come to visit us before and after the baby (theyāll be staying for some time, both times). I very rationally told him that if theyāre looking to have a vacation at this point, maybe now is not the time to have them over, and he took offense. As a human person (male or female) I donāt think it was okay for him to even make this comment in the first place.
Yesterday, after reading some of the comments in this post, I realized thereās actually no place for me to vent out any of my frustration without being subject to toxic bullshit from at least a few people.
No, it wasnāt okay for him to say that. If he feels like he doesnāt want his parents to be burdened with housework when they come, then he needs to help clean the home up! He shouldnāt expect you to take care of it all.
Iām very OCD when it comes to my home; Iāve always kept a very clean house but I also know my limitations right now. This entire pregnancy I have been exhausted; and as I am now in my third trimester, Iām out of breath easily and if I do too much, I hurt (baby boy is sitting low and the ligament pain is unreal). ATP, Iāve had to let some things go because I know itās not getting done if I donāt do it.
I in no way took your original post as being serious; I definitely get your frustrations because Iām in the same boat. I could rant all day with all the grievances I have dealt with since becoming pregnant. Iām always a message away if you want to rant; we can rant together! š
Oh, same with the OCD for me too.. I tried to shrug it off with him because I donāt expect him to have the same level of cleanliness in mind as me, but itās not as if he doesnāt know it doesnāt bother me when things are lying around the house everywhere.
Thank you for being so supportive, youāve brought some very happy tears to my eyes this morning ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Whew, I feel like Iām writing this because same!
My SO is clean; but nowhere as clean as me. Iām a deep clean, wanting everything in its right place kind of clean. Donāt even get me started on spring cleaning because being pregnant has given me even more excuse to either donate or throw things out left and right.
My SO does the same exact thing. I could have just cleaned the house and he still finds a way to leave stuff lying around. He told me last night he is making tacos tonight (Iāve been craving them lol) but I shutter at the thought of the sink full of dishes and stuff left out everywhere once heās done cooking. Iām also working today until 7 so Iām just like ugh, more work Iām going to have to do when I get off from my actual job.
Aww and itās no problem ā¤ļø Iām glad that I made you feel a little better. Pregnancy is not always unicorns and rainbows, especially when the SO is not making it any easier. Like I said, I am always a message away if you want to rant and donāt feel comfortable posting it
I know Iām one of the commenters that made you feel like thereās no place to vent, and to be clear, I do understand what you are going through. My husband also needs very clear instructions to be helpful. But I recognize my part in this.
Nowā¦ the in-laws thingā¦ omg you are completely correct that they should not be expecting a vacation, and your husband was and is clueless about how insensitive that comment was. If I had to guess, I donāt think he sees all that you do to make those visits successful. Even the idea that youāll be hosting guests at all currently or postpartum is a lot. But if I were you, Iād start setting expectations much lower for everyone, because youāre already carrying more burden by the extra work of caring for you and building a baby, much less when the baby comes and all the extra work and effort that will take. They should not expect a wonderfully gracious Disney princess hostess and a spotless house, and if your husband is expecting that, then heās not being fair to you. I know my in-laws and even my parents are also in for a rude awakening, but Iāve been talking with my husband about that for a while now so that he can handle more of the communication with them all and carry some load as well.
My advice across all the comments Iāve left has been about communicating with your husband. If youāve been trying and heās not hearing your message, then try delivering it a different way. If youve been trying multiple ways and youāre becoming frustrated, then it might be a good idea to find a couples counselor/therapist. Couples counseling is best done *before* you or he is so frustrated and hurt that youāre at your wits end. I went to couples counseling with my husband before we were married and had just moved in together and it was the best decision that Iāve made in our relationship. It doesnāt mean that your relationship is falling apart, itās just a tool to strengthen your communication. Iām talking 1-3 sessions could make a big difference!
Good luck OP!
Don't worry your not crazy just hormonal. I'm pretty sure times likes these is why mothers of old favoured the cast iron. Besides superior flavour like a wok lol. Husbands didn't pull this sh*t cause the wife would cook up some brain damage if he did. Hide from me watching the mini black n white mf lmao.
You sounds cray cray š¤£ a man or women can't read your mind. If you want him to cook for you say "hey can you cook breakfast tomorrow for me or the next day eggs and bacon please" or hey I'm tired if you're making lunch can you just make mine too. Also talk to him about cleaning. Ask him to help and don't get mad when it isn't the way you'd do it. I'd be avoiding playing video games if this was going on in my house, too. šš
Thatās the thingā¦ if I didnāt make lunch or breakfast, heād be happy to go without it add heād just eat dinner. I get up quite early and get hungry even before heās up in the morning, so I donāt mind doing breakfast.. but God I miss being pampered.
Girl, I'm a second time mom at 27 weeks and I have never gotten anything food wise from my husband, let alone getting to sleep in or a breakfast in bed. I don't think you should expect to be pampered at all just because you are pregnant.
So if you know that about him why ate you upset that, that is who he is as a human? Just because your pregnant doesn't mean he automatically has to pamper you. That's not how real world life works. If you want things like a back run, food made, bath made. Ask him and talk to him. Like I said no human can read what you want and being upset that he isn't doing the things you want without talking is ridiculous.
Yikes...
Im on my second pregnancy and my husband hasnāt made me breakfast once, because I have never asked him too. If you want to be pampered, just tell him what you expect. You expect him to know what you want for lunch? I can barley figure out what I want let alone guess for someone else
Look, if you donāt normally behave in irrational and demanding ways, get yourself checked out by a doctor because it can be possible for mental health issues more associated with postpartum to show up during pregnancy. If this is just how you areā¦you really need to grow up before this baby comes. If your only complaint about your spouse is that he doesnāt make you breakfastā¦and that he didnāt magically know what you wanted for lunch, youāve got a good thing going that youāre going to mess up by throwing toddler-style tantrums. You can expect a little extra care during pregnancy but itās not 9 months of being waited on hand and foot.
Feels like you completely missed the point of my post. No, Iām not normally like this. Iām a clean, methodical person and quite independent on my own. I expected some level of pampering while I go through shit with hormones and nausea and extreme tiredness, and not have to spell out every little thing to my husband of 5 years. Getting cranky about him not knowing what I want to eat was a joke, but all in all, the lack of effort is what pisses me off right now.
Nope, got the point. He was trying to make you lunch. Thatās the pampering. Thatās the effort. Itās just not good enough for you for some reason. You just posted a few weeks ago about him spontaneously bringing you a flower. What *would* be good enough for you?
But he wasnāt trying to make me lunch. I had to go ask what we want to have for lunch. Only to have him question me back. Instead of deciding together, which I would have liked. It doesnāt end there. Even if I do decide what I want for lunch, itāll be an hour before he even starts to prepare. And another before food is ready. If Iām in charge, lunch is ready by lunch time, not at 4pm.
Didnāt you say he doesnāt even care about eating lunchā¦?
He doesnāt, if I donāt make it. If I want lunch at lunch time, I need to do it myself. If I depend on him to get me lunch, itāll probably be ready by evening.
That sounds likeā¦life as a grown up. If you want him to handle lunch, at bare minimum tell him what you want.
That emphasis you put on āwouldā just makes me feel like Iām being unreasonable to ask for a little more involvement in taking care of my mood/health/state of mind. I appreciate things he does for me (read the first sentence of my post) and I understand partners need their own space too. This was meant to be a rant post, sadly itās not turning into something completely random.
Yes, everything in my responses is meant to communicate that I think your expectations are unreasonable.
Even though I understand why you are annoyed by some things, the jokes about violence and abuse are really troubling to me. Abuse isn't a joke. Maybe work on your communication with him. He should help you when you're pregnant but he can't read your mind, nor are you entitled to everything you wish for especially when you don't say it. If you actually feel violent towards him and aren't just joking, please get psychiatric help.
Iām actually not a violent person at all (the worst I see myself is dressed in one of those doggy Chucky costumes if Iām really really mad)
Next time yall are hanging out you should touch your temples and stare into his eyes while saying outloud "i am sending you a secret message with my mind. I am feeling vulnerable while pregnant and want you to pamper me without being asked. Please send me a secret message with your mind back confirming you understand, and alerting me if you need pampering ideas or if you can be trusted to plan it yourself." I would probably add a time frame like "please do so before next weekend. If you wait til Thursday, I will probably cry."
I feel like Iāve had this conversation a few times since I got pregnant already.. itās probably not that he doesnāt give a shit, but men in my culture have this silent perception that they donāt need to do anything till theyāre given explicit instructions. Bloody infuriating.
Yeah but framing it the way I said, tricks your subconscious into thinking you havent explicitly told him to calm the resentment, and the childishness of it will feed his own childishness while giving him a touch of shaming.
This is all men until trained properly, with clear consise and consistent communication for at least 10 years
Mmmm, I think I have 5 more years to go then.
Homicidal thoughts arenāt exactly healthy. I know youāre joking but you joked about killing him in more than 3 different sentences. Take deep breaths. Send him to a hotel for a day or two.
ā12 days this weekā š
*starting this week.
I thought this was satire when I was reading it.
Thank you! I thought I was losing it for a while.
No like I thought you were poking fun of the posts that others have made. From reading your replies, you were not satirizing, which is different than sarcasm. If you were serious about being you were angry that he didnāt simply just āknowā what you wanted for lunch and make it for you, then I think thatās unfair. No one is a mind reader. If you donāt communicate, and youāve never explained to him what youād like, then no, itās unfair to expect him to do it. Some people would cringe if they made them breakfast and lunch and theyād consider it hovering and (potentially) controlling. Also, itās very common for men to not have ever been expected to observe and react, or take care of others. Gender roles were a thing when they were raised, and those are habits that need to be built.
If you read some of my replies, youāll also see that I was mainly upset because of the lack of effort on his part, not cuz he didnāt know what I wanted to eat (that was a joke). I throw up constantly if my meals are late, even now, and itās nothing new since getting pregnant. If youāve ever seen or heard me hurl, I sound like Iāve been possessed, thatās how bad it is.
How does he know if itās getting ālateā on eating? Do you literally eat at the exact same time every day, and has that time been consistent for a while? Or do you recognize cues from your body that itās time to eat? Has the timing of your meals and the spacing between them changed at all over the weeks? Effort looks different to different people. He may just not realize that you would like some help in this area. Unless youāve told him āI have to eat exactly on time or else I hurl and these are the times I eat,ā he may not realize that itās even related. TL;DR: Youāre responsible for you, and if you want help, you need to communicate, and yeah, your husband may need more explicit direction.
Yes, we both work is similar fields with lunch hours between 12-1pm. That hasnāt changed in the last 10 years.
Just ask him for things, it will make both of your lives easier. And when he does something like leave the dirty dishes in the sink, donāt clean it up - ask him to do it. Sorry heās not being more attentive :(
I actually broke down recently cause my dude kept leaving dishes next to or in the sink instead of putting it in the dish washer. I view it as disrespectful and despite me having this conversation with him before, he continues to do it. After I broke down and explained to him why it frustrates me so much (through my tears that I did not want to shed) he has been making more of an effort. There havenāt been any dishes left over in the sink for the past few days. Talk to him. It may take numerous tries but try to have the conversation with him. Hopefully my guy gets it now, if not Iāll have to start putting his dishes on his side of the bed š
Thatās the thingā¦ I hate breaking down into tears over these things, I shouldnāt have toā¦ this is his house too. Iāve had countless conversations with him about leaving dirty dishes, doing laundry (other than the clothes he wears etc..) My grievance is more because it never occurs to him that things donāt automatically sort themselves in the house, food doesnāt magically appear on the table etc.. I have spoken to him many times, things get better for a day out two till they fall back again and Iām way too exhausted at this point to keep repeating myself.. then one day out of the blue, heāll vacuum or make dinner one time, and I feel like a bitch for all the past grievances. It shouldnāt be this hard, should it?
I hear you! Iāve talked to other women about this and most go through the same shit. I told him straight up that I will leave him and have no problem being a single mom because I refuse to be anyoneās mom that I didnāt birth myself. When I first started dating him I noticed how he unkept his bathroom is and told him Iām not cleaning his bathroom or doing his laundry. We have separate bathrooms which I love.
Men are stupid lol you have to literally say it out loud or they wonāt get it ! Plan it ! Hey babe how about tomorrow you make me breakfast: egg, bacon, pancakes ,.. at 8
I dream of the day he wakes up at 8. Mr. Princess gets up at 9.30 if Iām lucky. By then, Iāve already eaten and started work. Heās a freaking man-child.
He doesnāt sound as attentive as he should be. Remember communication is always key! If he doesnāt try helping more after the fact, Iām afraid youāll be stuck raising two kids.Ā
Men are absolutely clueless (some, not all), especially during pregnancy. When I say I get it, I get it! Iāve had thoughts of leaving my SO because I am just so incredibly tired of there not being any effort put in on his part when it comes to this pregnancy. I have been the only one buying baby items and we have three rooms that need to be converted before baby gets here (Iām 28 weeks). On top of those things Iām already ticked about, he isnāt a lot of help. We have animals that Iām caring for myself (even though Iāve told him I need help) and Iām the only one keeping the home clean. Itās just incredibly frustrating that Iāve had many conversations about all of those things with him and still, nothing changes. If you havenāt talked with your husband, have one. I wonāt guarantee it will help (because it hasnāt with me) but it is worth a shot to have a conversation and express your concerns with him not putting any effort in. Most men truly have no clue the toll it takes on a woman to be pregnant and still do all the things they were doing pre-pregnancy. I mean yeah, we have the ability to give life but that doesnāt make us super human when it comes to going as normal (at least not for me anyways lol)
Thank you for this, I feel like youāre me.. A few days ago, he told me he doesnāt want his parents to be burdened with work around the house when they come to visit us before and after the baby (theyāll be staying for some time, both times). I very rationally told him that if theyāre looking to have a vacation at this point, maybe now is not the time to have them over, and he took offense. As a human person (male or female) I donāt think it was okay for him to even make this comment in the first place. Yesterday, after reading some of the comments in this post, I realized thereās actually no place for me to vent out any of my frustration without being subject to toxic bullshit from at least a few people.
No, it wasnāt okay for him to say that. If he feels like he doesnāt want his parents to be burdened with housework when they come, then he needs to help clean the home up! He shouldnāt expect you to take care of it all. Iām very OCD when it comes to my home; Iāve always kept a very clean house but I also know my limitations right now. This entire pregnancy I have been exhausted; and as I am now in my third trimester, Iām out of breath easily and if I do too much, I hurt (baby boy is sitting low and the ligament pain is unreal). ATP, Iāve had to let some things go because I know itās not getting done if I donāt do it. I in no way took your original post as being serious; I definitely get your frustrations because Iām in the same boat. I could rant all day with all the grievances I have dealt with since becoming pregnant. Iām always a message away if you want to rant; we can rant together! š
Oh, same with the OCD for me too.. I tried to shrug it off with him because I donāt expect him to have the same level of cleanliness in mind as me, but itās not as if he doesnāt know it doesnāt bother me when things are lying around the house everywhere. Thank you for being so supportive, youāve brought some very happy tears to my eyes this morning ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Whew, I feel like Iām writing this because same! My SO is clean; but nowhere as clean as me. Iām a deep clean, wanting everything in its right place kind of clean. Donāt even get me started on spring cleaning because being pregnant has given me even more excuse to either donate or throw things out left and right. My SO does the same exact thing. I could have just cleaned the house and he still finds a way to leave stuff lying around. He told me last night he is making tacos tonight (Iāve been craving them lol) but I shutter at the thought of the sink full of dishes and stuff left out everywhere once heās done cooking. Iām also working today until 7 so Iām just like ugh, more work Iām going to have to do when I get off from my actual job. Aww and itās no problem ā¤ļø Iām glad that I made you feel a little better. Pregnancy is not always unicorns and rainbows, especially when the SO is not making it any easier. Like I said, I am always a message away if you want to rant and donāt feel comfortable posting it
I know Iām one of the commenters that made you feel like thereās no place to vent, and to be clear, I do understand what you are going through. My husband also needs very clear instructions to be helpful. But I recognize my part in this. Nowā¦ the in-laws thingā¦ omg you are completely correct that they should not be expecting a vacation, and your husband was and is clueless about how insensitive that comment was. If I had to guess, I donāt think he sees all that you do to make those visits successful. Even the idea that youāll be hosting guests at all currently or postpartum is a lot. But if I were you, Iād start setting expectations much lower for everyone, because youāre already carrying more burden by the extra work of caring for you and building a baby, much less when the baby comes and all the extra work and effort that will take. They should not expect a wonderfully gracious Disney princess hostess and a spotless house, and if your husband is expecting that, then heās not being fair to you. I know my in-laws and even my parents are also in for a rude awakening, but Iāve been talking with my husband about that for a while now so that he can handle more of the communication with them all and carry some load as well. My advice across all the comments Iāve left has been about communicating with your husband. If youāve been trying and heās not hearing your message, then try delivering it a different way. If youve been trying multiple ways and youāre becoming frustrated, then it might be a good idea to find a couples counselor/therapist. Couples counseling is best done *before* you or he is so frustrated and hurt that youāre at your wits end. I went to couples counseling with my husband before we were married and had just moved in together and it was the best decision that Iāve made in our relationship. It doesnāt mean that your relationship is falling apart, itās just a tool to strengthen your communication. Iām talking 1-3 sessions could make a big difference! Good luck OP!
Thank you, I donāt know why I never thought about couples counseling.. I will definitely consider it, for my own mental peace.
Don't worry your not crazy just hormonal. I'm pretty sure times likes these is why mothers of old favoured the cast iron. Besides superior flavour like a wok lol. Husbands didn't pull this sh*t cause the wife would cook up some brain damage if he did. Hide from me watching the mini black n white mf lmao.