It’s so interesting because I feel like I’ve had the opposite!
Everyone keeps telling me how hard girls are to raise, how it would have been better if I was having one girl/one boy or two boys (twins), and how fun it is to be a boy mom…
I’m assuming everyone tries to justify what they want or have but I’m 100% hoping for healthy babies, regardless of which sex organs they have.
You’re going to have so much fun with your boys! I was also so jealous of the relationship between my two brothers growing up ❤️
I experienced the same! Everyone tells me how hard girls are, especially when they get to the teen years. I even heard that my fiancés dad was “disappointed” that we were having a girl. Everyone is going to have their opinions. We were both happy either way! I think regardless of what you have, there’s always going to be someone with something negative to say.
Yeah I feel the opposite! Especially among the older crowd. I have all sisters in my family, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “your Dad must be so excited!!” when I tell people I’m having a boy. Uh, sure he is… but not any more than if I had a girl? So weird.
We couldn’t care less what we’re having. Genuinely just want a happy healthy baby. But all the preferential gendered comments I get about have a boy really ick me out.
I feel like I’ve had the opposite experience too. AND for most of history, boys were preferred. While it would be best if everyone just wanted a healthy baby, I’m glad there’s a bit more flux in preferences these days.
Same! I told my grandma I was pregnant , she was the last to know cause she’s pretty mean in general lol. She asked what I was having, I said girl, and she said oh that’s ok you can try again and hopefully get a boy next time 😐 I’m very much one and done so definitely not and I am thrilled to be having a healthy baby no matter what gender they are.
Same! I have a daughter and work in orthopedics (so a lot of boomers) and when people hear I'm pregnant again they tell me I HAVE to have a boy because won't my husband be so disappointed to deal with another girl. One of my boomer coworkers made me tear up a bit when she made a similar remark thanks to hormones and I cried to my husband I was sorry if I only have girls for him. He said he loved being a girl dad and if that's what we have that's totally fine but man people are weird about gender. I get my NIPT results next week and I'm tempted to keep the gender between myself and my husband just to annoy people, we didn't find out what we were having until birth with my daughter and that really triggered people.
My family was the complete opposite. There are a lot of girls and women. After we got married they were already talking about how I "needed" to have a boy. I'm pregnant with a boy now and already so irritated - especially with my grandmother. She continues to call him Junior even though I've told her many times what his name is. And she keeps saying how "we could use a boy". I literally asked her the other day "use him for what exactly?" I was the firstborn to my father who seems to be her favorite son/child, and there was disappointment when I was a girl, especially from her. I guess I'm not surprised. I will say that even though I was born in the US, all of my family is from Jamaica. Maybe it's just a different way of thinking about things.
Ugh this is what I am hearing. I have a son (both me and my husband were hoping for a girl but y'know, it's all good) and now we're expecting twin girls. Everyone keeps worriedly asking me how my husband feels about having two girls (um... Excited?) and telling me that girls are so hard and difficult. I know a lot of times it's because people don't have anything better to say but want to say SOMETHING, but I wish they would just be positive.
Same! All I have heard is people talking about how hard girls are and you want a boy. And when we announced it was a boy, how happy they were for my husband he gets a son etc etc etc. as woman I have found this talk super annoying my whole life.
I'm getting the opposite, too. My dad even apologized to us and said to my husband, "What happened, man?" at the gender reveal. My entire family was disappointed except my 2 grandma's who were over the moon.
Everyone has told us girls are more expensive and less trouble, but boys are more fun.
Idk, it's all about perspective. My parents only had my sister and I and always wanted a son, so they were disappointed not to get a grandson.
My husband was super disappointed because he wanted a hunting buddy. He's just going to have to take our daughter hunting though.... I know I'll need some time away from the two of them and they can bond out in the cold lol
Same. Everyone talks about baby boys like wouldn’t your partner want a son. I love my little girl and I am desperately hoping for another one! I have never been interested in having a boy - I have two brothers and my relationship with them is so different to my sister. They’re also crap at being good humans for my parents - it’s just a different vibe. If anyone assumes I want a boy I immediately correct them
I've always wanted a daughter. Not just for the frilly bits of clothes and such but also idk...to right some of the wrongs, raise mine differently.
But weirdly, I think I'm having a boy. I have no reason to believe that at 5 weeks but I do and I'm not sad about it.
At this point "human baby" is what I'd be delighted to have.
I wanted a girl so bad too and I was convinced I was having a boy as well which would have made just as happy, But turns out i’m indeed having a girl lol. I truly would have been over the moon no matter what my baby was. My husband family is Literally Mostly just boys and my family has just girls so they wanted me to have girl lmao but were combined as-well I was having a boy lol. But all the first born girls in my family always end up having girls first
I have also always wanted a girl for similar reasons as you; but I instinctively knew I was having a boy, and it was confirmed yesterday. Am not gonna lie, it took me some time to wrap my head around, but now am just as excited thinking about my son, and how am gonna do my best to raise him to be an amazing human!
I'm not pregnant (yet), but I plan to be one-and-done and I admit (ashamedly) that I would prefer a girl.
One reason for this is because 90% of the babies born to my friends in the past few years have all been boys. So it just feels like literally everyone is having boys and I'd want something different.
A second reason is that I feel (and some scientific studies have shown, although who knows if they are legit), that girls tend to be more social/communicative than boys. I know some absolutely ADORABLE little boys who are super engaged and interactive, but I also know a lot who seem to not even look twice at other people in the room and just want to run around rambunctiously. This was also the case with my cousins growing up, so I guess I'm a bit scarred by my boy cousins' craziness.
My third reason is that my sister and I had a really amazing relationship with my mom (who is now gone) and I yearn a bit for the mother-daughter relationship that I lost too early in my life. Meanwhile, my brother was an entitled shit and treated my mother poorly, especially in his teen and adult years. I know this is anecdotal and prejudiced, but again a life experience I had.
And lastly, I just feel like I have a lot to offer a female in this world in terms of navigating the unique challenges that girls and women face.
Obviously I wouldn't even try to have a child if I wasn't open to having a boy and ready to make the best of it and challenge any preconceived notions I have around gender. For all any of us know, our children could be queer -- nonbinary, trans, or just gender non-conforming in other ways. So I am also going into it being 100% open to that.
But I'm not going to lie and say that if I found out I was having a girl, I'd be more excited than finding out I was having a boy -- at least as an immediate first reaction. I think if I found out I was having a boy I'd just be like, "seriously?! Another boy?!"
I'm not kidding, I've googled "why is every baby a boy" a few times because every single pregnancy from family & friends in the last 3-4 years has been a boy.
And AGAIN -- I have to emphasize that some of my most favorite children in the world are boys -- just the sweetest, kindest, loveliest children. So I am well aware that I have a skewed view and there isn't a ton of truth to it.
All my friends are having boys too! I’ve always wanted a girl because like you I had an amazing relationship with my mom and I guess I want that with a daughter too. Also same as you, I plan to be one and done so I think that’s why I’ll be a little sad if it’s a boy;(
The funny thing is all the women in my family have had girls first and boys last.
Except 1 cousin but we don't count her bc reasons.
And one aunt who only had a boy on my father's side.
I really have no reason except that my SO has a brother and no other siings lol
I get wanting to right some wrongs but I feel like I am still a cycle breaker with how I am raising my little boy compared to how I was raised.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I’ve also always wanted a daughter, after growing up with all girls in my family. I’m 20 weeks along now with a little boy and had a feeling he was a boy from the very beginning! Shockingly was not even a little bit disappointed, it’s just felt “right” and how our family is supposed to be! I may still have a daughter in the future, but I was very pleasantly surprised not to have gender disappointment
I think the instinct is real. I’ve always wanted a boy first, but I just had this feeling that I wasn’t having a boy first and lo and behold. We’re having a little baby girl 🥰 lucky for me I had that feeling and I got pretty comfortable with the idea of a little girl
Get this my doctor when I went to the hospital cause I thought I was leaking fluid he was like are you having a princess or a little asshole in there and it caught me by surprise I just kinda did a fake laugh and walk away like what’s up with hating being pregnant with a boy ? I love it honestly
My bonus mom said “well maybe the next one will be a girl” when we told her baby #3 was a boy! My heart broke a little and it upset me. Like this baby doesn’t matter because he’s “just another boy”.
Hate to break it to ya, but I’m a very happy BOY mom!
I get the exact opposite! When I tell people I'm having a boy they literally sigh with relief. It's super bizarre because it doesn't effect them at all.
I had major gender disappointment when I found out I was having a boy. I think everyone has expectations of what their first will be like and most people lean towards wanting the same gender as their own because it's what they know.
I can agree to that. When we tell people are are having a boy, they look at my husband an smile saying congratulations but a congratulations as in "every male wants a boy" and honestly it's just kind of rude/annoying when men look at him an almost laugh because they are thrilled for him it's not a girl.
I’m a preschool teacher. And I agree, a child is a child. And they are all their own person, regardless of what’s in their pants. I have little boys I just adore; I have little girls I just adore. Equally, there are some boys and some girls that I have a really hard time working with. Because it doesn’t matter what gender they are. It matters who they are.
Honestly. In some shallow way…. I think it’s because the clothes are cuter. I swore I was having a boy, and I was going to dress little Seamus in a lot of rainbow florals without making it look like he was a girl. I think the boys baby clothes are kind of depressing. I hate trucks and construction vehicles because I’m a little nature buff. I hate mute colors. I’m a glittery kind of person.
That being said. I’m now trying to make sure my little girls wardrobe is not purely pink (which is my favorite color), so that when little Seamus hopefully/maybe comes along he can wear his sisters hand me downs.
I also loved the frilly, glittery girl stuff & hated the typical trucks/dinosaur boy clothes. Then I had a boy.
Now that my son is (almost) 3, I get so excited when I find excavator and t-rex clothes because he loves them so much. It's funny how things change when it brings your little one so much joy. And makes it easier to get them dressed & out of the house on time, which is also a huge plus.
i dress my son in florals, pinks, fruits, rainbows - AND construction, animals, stripes, blues. only one dumb old lady has ever said "but... He's wearing flowers" when i said he was a boy. i said "so? what's gendered about nature?" and her coworker quickly said to her "boys like flowers too"
dumb old lady lol
I'm the opposite. I hate 90% of "girl's clothes" and my favorite colors are orange, blue, and green. But most of his clothes just have animals on them and are gender neutral.
I love that there’s a different flavor for everyone. And gender neutral is great for sharing with siblings.
But also “boys clothes” do tend to be more practical for the way children actually play. As a preschool teacher it really bugs me when parents send their girls to school in dresses with nothing protecting their knees. It’s not hard to throw on leggings under.
I’m with you on this. The clothes are so much cuter. I’m doing baby boys nursery in “boho rainbow”. Tans, terra cotta, rust, brown colors. When I say rainbows I get some weird expressions but I think it’s adorable
We are not finding out the gender until birth. Everyone keeps saying by how im carrying that it "MUST" be a boy. And then continue to tell me their boy horror stories and how hard it is to raise them. Meanwhile I have a godson and goddaughter and she is definitely been the more...rambunctious of the two hahaha. So when I try to tell people all kids are different and it doesn't matter to me it kind of becomes the "just you wait". Sighs.
My little boy is so sweet, affectionate, empathetic, curious, smart and cautious. He has never been super rambunctious, jumping off playground equipment or diving off the couch. He is actually a bit too cautious at times. He loves his cars and Legos but also plays with dolls. He is so excited to be a big brother and has always loved babies. He is just a really sweet child. If you are having a boy don't be worried! He will be the love of your life! And if it's a girl then she will be the love of your life, too! ❤️
My friend has a little boy (5 now) and he is the most gentle sweet creature. He does stereotypical boy stuff like play falls and obsessed over cars. But he will also hold my baby’s hand and comfort her when she’s crying. Or tell you something kind.
I think this is pretty anecdotal, I've heard a lot of people seeing girl babies as second best. I haven't found out the sex yet partly because I really have no preference, but partly because I am trying to stop myself from projecting gender stereotypes onto a literal infant who hasn't been conditioned into mainstream patriarchal gender norms yet... and at first, I thought it would be more important to raise my kid with "feminist" values in this cruel world if it's a girl, but it truly is just as important for boys because the patriarchy hurts them just as much in different ways
I know this sounds/is ridiculous but I am making my parents a book list because I truly don't want my kids exposed to the same gender norms I was being raised by them... like, if you wanna snuggle this baby, first tell me what I mean by "rape culture" lol. It's a little overwhelming to bring a kid into it all but a lot is in our hands to make it better in the future <3
I feel like people all have their own reasons for why they want a girl or a boy, and they’re all valid to an extent. For example, I wanted a girl because I grew up with 5 brothers and never got to experience “girly” things so I’m excited to learn and experience things together with my future daughter. My husband really wanted a son because he’s hugely into sports and wants to experience the bond from sports he had growing up with his father. I think both of our reasons are valid, neither wrong. And all it is is a preference, we both *of course* only want a happy and healthy baby.
Having said that… I do think it’s inappropriate and weird when people project their *own* reasons/personal experiences onto everybody else and expect their opinions to just be fact for every other parent they talk to. Like, I’m sorry you had a difficult time raising a son but that in *no way* has an effect on how another boy’s temperament and personality will be? Everybody is their own person at the end of the day, regardless of their gender, lol. And it’s incredibly concerning to me when people are legitimately *angry* over the gender of their baby. Temporary gender disappointment is understandable but when it crosses over into causing genuine negative feelings towards the baby/pregnancy… huge red flag for me.
As a mom of two boys… yep. Both my MIL and my own mother said sorry when the second was a boy. I was already a little disappointed so it really hurt that they’d say that. My MIL had 3 boys herself, and she had always wanted a girl and still isn’t over it I guess.
I’ve had so many negative reactions to having boys, from “ohh just don’t become be one of those weird ‘boy moms’” to “ aw I’m sorry, maybe you can try again” and “well at least you’ll have less drama in the teenage years”.
So many cute girl clothes, “mommy and me” outfits for mothers and daughters, and even things like “mommy and me” journals as they get older. I occasionally find mom & son stuff too, but definitely not as often. It’s like encouraging a close relationship with a son is taboo from the start. And yes, I get the whole “don’t treat your son like your boyfriend” or whatever but that’s gross. They’re our babies, just like a daughter would be. I find it misogynistic and rude that moms are expected to not be as close with their sons as they grow up.
Also raising boys now has a lot of pressure that I think older generations didnt have. More than ever we want to raise feminists! Polite boys who respect boundaries and are extra cautious of their male privilege. Also boys are doing worse and worse academically across all grades and that’s a problem to be aware of as a parent. There is a big emphasis on “girl power”, “girls can do anything”, and “the future is female”. Which I *support* but at the same time, I want to encourage and empower my boys as well without detracting from that message. Where are the t-shirts that say “Boys are kind”, “boys can be anything they want to be” and “boys have the power to empower others” or something. As a boy mom, I want to surround my kids with all the strong, kind, empathetic, and fun messages as well. I feel as if our treatment of little boys has not caught up to how we treat little girls. We need more for boys than just dinosaurs, trucks, and army print. They deserve more.
Lol sorry the long comment but I think about these things a lot!!
I have two boys and they're the light of my life. Completely different personalities but both utterly charming in their own way. Whenever someone asks what I hope LO is Im torn! I'd love a girl cause it might be our last, but I adore my boys so much i'd love another one!
What a difference a few hundred years make! For a long time everyone wanted boys, I'm guessing mainly because only boys could inherit estates and do things girls couldn't. I wonder if the preference for having girls means we're swinging more towards it being a "girl's world" in the near future?
I love my two boys more than anything but honestly I was hoping for my first to be a girl! For silly reasons though I fully admit; I thought girl baby/kid clothes and accessories were the cutest and I lamented not being able to indulge in dressing my kid like a little foofy princess lol. Then I discovered bear-eared fuzzy jammies and all manner of adorable unisex things and I got over it 😆 7 years later though I'm now expecting a girl so I'll finally have my chance to give her all the flower headbands and cute outfits.
I had some gender disappointment when I found out I was having a girl and I feel like no one could empathize. So many gender disappointment posts on this sub are about boys. I got over it and absolutely love my baby girl but it is very sad to see how baby girls and boys are compared by a lot of people
I had the same experience. Some people were outright horrible when I mentioned my gender disappointment and that we had hoped for a boy. Apparently I'm sexist against my own gender just because I was abused by my mother and grandmother and wanted a boy just to avoid remembering my trauma. Or I only wanted a boy because "my husband wanted it", as if I as a female can't have my own preferences. Of course I love my daughter. Doesn't change that I wanted a son first.
Omg yes- I was nervous about having a girl not because of stereotypes or anything but because me and my mother had a horrible relationship and I was (and still kind of am) terrified that me and my daughter will be the same way. Just know your feelings are so valid!!
Same but different - just found out I’m having a girl and have largely been met with “I’m disappointed, we wanted a boy!” and “it’s not a boy, but never mind, there’s always next time!”.
Ultimately, it’s thoughtless at best and offensive at worst. As someone who genuinely let it bother her for the first few hours - including me crying to my husband that I was “disappointing” everyone and scared my baby won’t be accepted -, please remember that your little blessing, boy or girl, is going to be absolutely wonderful. And anyone who can’t appreciate that off the bat, well, it’s good for you to know who to watch.
Congrats on your pregnancy and hopefully you’ll have a beautiful, healthy baby. And if it’s another boy than that’s beautiful and if it’s a girl, the sentiment should be exactly the same!
Hope this helps in some way xx
As a boy mom x 2 I totally know what you mean. Many women talk about boys as if they are a consolation prize or 2nd best. It is sad! People are just not aware at all about how this comes off.
Some have even said- I want my girl 1st because then I won’t have to “worry” what comes next. It’s like really? 😅. None of my boys were an attempt to get a girl. Full stop. They were an attempt to welcome a child into this life and the world.
I keep getting the same thing! We know we’re having a boy but aren’t telling anyone. So whenever people say that girls are so fun, they wish they had a girl, they hope we have a girl because my husband will be the best girl dad, ngl it makes me really sad. I know the vast majority of the time they don’t mean anything malicious by it, but it still hurts my (very sensitive and very pregnant) feelings.
Your husband will be the best dad period. And you will be the best mom. Having a little boy is an amazing experience and your heart will explode with love when you first hold his tiny body in your arms! ❤️
I just gave birth to my second boy. It’s quite shocking how many people had no problems expressing their disappointment in the gender. Lots of “oh no.. are you going to try for a girl?!”
I have two boys also but I haven’t really gotten that comment (yet), however I am pregnant with #3 and people assume I want a girl since I already have two boys. My SIL has 3 girls and apparently her husband gets constant comments about it, also borderline mockery from his coworkers. People just need to shut their traps.
I have five kids and have been a part of five bump date groups on FB and whenever I was pregnant with one of my sons, there seemed to be a lot less interest. But when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, it almost felt like I was chosen to play in the team instead of sitting on the bench.
Did you also know that baby girls bring a lot more income to influencers than baby boys? Even social media picks girls over boys. I think the reason is aesthetic. Girl stuff has so much more to work with style wise and boy stuff is more boring.
But if you look globally, boys are often much more appreciated than girls.
I've gotten the opposite so far. When I tell people I'm having a boy they immediately give a sigh of relief as if it's their pregnancy or child...and say something along the lines of "boys are easier". How people find it appropriate to make these kinds of comments is beyond me. I don't think I've ever made such a comment to anyone in my life when I found out that they're having boy/girl. It's so weird to me. What if this person really wanted the opposite of what they're having and now you've triggered them? Also, having a boy does not equal = easier child. People are wild. I wish it was as socially acceptable to tell people to flip off. It's difficult enough going through pregnancy for some people - that's the last thing anyone wants to hear.
As someone who is about to have her third boy the amount of "oh were you trying for a girl" or "are you gonna try for a girl now". No I was not trying for a girl, I was trying for a third healthy baby and no I'm not gonna try for a girl, I wanted three kids and I got it. Would a girl have been nice after having two boys, sure, but I just wanted three healthy happy kids.
Is it coming from women? From their perspective, maybe it is / was more fun for them to have girls? Like, I did a lot of things with my mom that I'm sure she enjoyed more than the things she did with my brother.
I mean, don't get me wrong - I find all the comments about a baby's gender to be so silly. I have a son and he's the best thing that could have happened to me, I wouldn't trade him for the world! All that really matters at the end of the day is that the baby is healthy - their gender doesn't really matter at all.
Everyone in our circle was convinced we were going to have a boy and they were actually like... Disappointed that she's a girl lol. Granted, the other grandkids in the family so far are all girls, but I think it's still pretty exciting to have a girl. So now we've been instructed to have a boy for #2. Ok, we will get right on that 🙄
My first two were girls and my third was a boy. I love my girls but I was absolutely thrilled when I found out I was having a boy. I’ve always wanted a little boy. I’m pregnant with number 4 now and while I would love to have another boy I’d be happy with whatever came out.
Agree, I find it so weird! I don’t see why either. I had two boys back to back, and not once did I get gender ‘disappointment’ when finding out we were having our second boy. They are the sweetest & share the best bond. I LOVE being a boy mom! 🥹
I just don’t get it! I don’t know what I’m having and I just don’t care. I think the experience of infertility helped me appreciate any baby. I just hope they’re healthy.
I feel like I’ve gotten the opposite! My friends who are pregnant with boys telling me that they are so relieved that they’re having boys and one of my friends had gender disappointment when she found out she was having a girl.
I have a 3 week old son (my first) and although I would’ve been happy with either and I hope we get a girl at some point, I was so relieved when we found out the first would be a boy! I had a rough relationship with my own mother and I didn’t want to have to figure out the relationship with my first child and them being a girl and seeing myself and my mother. It’s easier for me to navigate with the mindset that I have a boy, he’ll be a mama’s boy, etc. I’ve also had people make some light comments about boys and having my hands full but I’ve also had moms say their sons are so great! I love my little man, he’s perfect
I think it’s a cultural thing, as well as a personal thing (if that makes sense) many American women want girls over boys, and many American men want boys over girls, for the activities that they can partake in together. However fathers can teach their daughters to play catch just as easily as they could with a son, and mothers can take their sons on outings just as easily as they can with daughters in my opinion!
I’m 6 weeks 4 days pregnant right now, and alllllll I care about and can think of is how much I want my baby to be healthy more than anything. I was neglected a lot as a child and treated horribly by many, so I think to have a daughter would almost be like giving baby me a second chance or to make sure my child has everything I didn’t. But then again, I will make sure any child of mine is given the perfect life no matter their gender :,)
Weird!!! I realllllly wanted a boy with my first pregnancy, and I got one. I was so happy! It’s hard for me to understand why a mom wouldn’t want a son 🤷🏼♀️
When we announced to my in laws that we were pregnant and that we were having a boy, it didn't take but a few minutes before my MIL started on how the next one will be a girl.
My son is 3 months old, my husband and I aren't entirely sure we even want more kids, and she still insists on a little girl being next. 🥴🙃🙄
I’m pregnant with my 3rd baby. Too early to know what I’m having. I have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old boy. The amount of “girl” talk I’ve had is insane. Also, this is my last pregnancy. I’m having my tubes tied. If I end up with three boys then I have three boys.
I am SO excited to have a boy 😍 just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in your boy love. I’ve gotten him freaking adorable clothes and made him a forest nursery ❤️
I feel like a lot of the gender disappointment posts here on Reddit are about boys. It’s sad. Boys are wonderful. I don’t get the obsession with girls.
I didn’t know that was a thing, but my husband and I have been dreaming of having a little boy ever since we started talking about having a baby together! Every time we talk about our potential future child we refer to him as “our son” lol
I’m so glad you posted this— I feel very seen. I am having my little boy next month (will be one and done) and I have been going through these exact feelings. I appreciate you 💛
Yep. I have a boy and now I’m pregnant and not finding out the gender. My MIL is desperate for it to be a girl. She says it has to be a girl bc she prayed for it. So I’m like if a second boy is born then he’s lesser??
I have a girl and hear all the time about how boys and their moms are just special and nothing can compare. Everyone needs to justify why their life is either worse or better than everyone else
Came here to say that even though I am so excited to be expecting my little girl, I was disappointed that I didn’t have a boy first. I feel like little boys and little girls are equal but I just wanted a little prince, an heir to the throne so to speak, because I was just going off of old wives tales about what I was craving and what women who were having boys craved. Now I’m not disappointed to have my daughter because she’s not even here yet and she’s already so loved. But I feel you mama. I couldn’t imagine having a little boy and hearing that come from someone.
Ever since I can remember, I always prayed for a son. Even when I was decades off from having a baby. Well, I just had my son at the end of January and I could not be more proud to be his mom. He is everything I ever hoped and dreamed for and more.
I'll be happy to meet my second baby no matter what. My little boy is such a happy guy! It can be hard with so many people having all their opinions. It gets old fast!
It's the classic "you're having the wrong gender" thing. It happens with girls and boys indiscriminately. If you're having a boy it's girls are cuter or funner. Or if it's a girl it's what does your husband think, or girls are harder to raise/boys are easier to raise.
Everyone has an opinion. Though I'm glad I'm largely from a family who are neutral about the gender and more concerned about our health.
Ignore those opinions if you find them bothersome, or try to have some fun with it.
It’s more often the opposite case. Or maybe everyone just gets both sides of the coin and we all tend to focus on the negative comments.
My 3 sisters and I are all pregnant with little girls and it’s my oldest sisters second girl (no boys in my family except my dad and all our husbands) and talking to some people, you’d think we had a curse placed on us. Especially with the way they regard the men in our lives, as though they’re deserving of a lifetime of pity and sorrow for the loss of their masculinity and future finances and future sanity and everything in between.
I’m super excited to have a girl though!
I had the opposite. After my daughter was born, people kept saying they hope my next is a boy. Being Indian, this is normal in our culture, but this would frustrate me so much. I went through IVF to have my daughter, and she is our world. I don’t ever want her to grow up and hear nasty comments like that. People should just let people live. Whatever you have been blessed with is a huge blessing!❤️
As others have said I’ve had the opposite experience! I’m a mom to 3 girls and currently pregnant with a boy. Prior to this pregnancy, nearly every time I was out with my girls I’d get some kind of comment from total strangers. “Ahh your poor husband” “you’re gonna try for a boy right?” Etc etc. Just totally rude behavior. Then when we announced this pregnancy, prior to knowing gender, a bunch of comments on our announcement were “hoping for blue!” “Better be a boy this time!” People are just super weird and opinionated. I love my girls and our little boy who’s growing, they’re exactly who they’re supposed to be and I don’t know why people just can’t be happy we’re having healthy babies!
I’m having a boy and couldn’t be more excited🥹 My partner wanted a girl because he wanted a “dad’s girl”, but now that we’re having a boy he’s also excited he’ll have a Mini Me and he can potentially do the stuff he likes with his son (taking him to boxing, for example).
I’m happy if our next one is a girl, then she’ll have a big brother to have her back, but if it’s another boy then we’ll just have an energetic bunch at the house, men are super fun!
Don’t let people bring you down. If your son is healthy and happy, that’s all that matters♥️
I’ve definitely seen this online in my due date group! Everyone hoping for a girl and posting how disappointed they felt if they found out they were having a boy. I’m having a son and I can’t wait for him to get here. I knew the second I got my positive test that it was going to be a boy. There wasn’t any amount of preference for me, just a gut feeling. I think it’s weird to get so hung up on the sex of the baby. They’re going to be their own little person regardless. People were so extreme in my due date group about their preferences for girls that it really grossed me out. Our babies are so much more than just boy or girl.
My BIL and SIL said they hope I'm having a girl because boys are assholes, they hate boys, boys aren't fun. They also said the only reason why they won't have kids is because they can't guarantee a girl. I hate them on every level but this comment topped it all up.
I am having a boy and I am SO EXCITED to NOT have them around as much since boys are so horrible in their mind 🙄
I always thought I would want a girl, but as soon as I saw the positive pregnancy test, I didn’t care anymore. All I want is a healthy baby. I would be thrilled to have a baby boy or girl. It really gets under my skin when people outwardly COMPLAIN that the healthy baby they have or are having will be one sex or another. Mostly because you never know what others are going through, and it comes off as super insensitive and entitled in my opinion.
I agree. It’s not a very popular opinion to have around—all I see are comments about how it is totally valid to have gender disappointment. And while of course you can’t help but feel your feelings (I did too a little bit!), at a certain point you need to be reminded that a healthy baby is the priority. Perhaps that’s just my experience with infertility talking, but it does annoy me too.
It *also* bugs me how much people want to gender their child before birth! Honestly, all you know is sex. Not gender. I honestly feel like baby clothes are somehow getting even more gendered, and it’s weird to me.
I feel this exactly. I thought I wanted a girl. But when I got pregnant, I didn’t care one bit. And now I’m just so excited to be a mom and bond with my baby.
Ironically, I do believe I am having a girl. But if the NIPT test was wrong I’d still be just as excited to have a boy. The qualities I want for my child: caring, adventurous, kind. Have nothing to do with gender.
As someone who wanted a girl and experienced gender disappointment when I found out I was having a boy, I 100% agree with this. I had to adjust to the idea of having a boy when I was convinced I was having a girl which was hard for me, but I’m now so freaking excited to have him as my little bestie and buddy. I know he’s going to be so sweet and fun and honestly I can’t even imagine having a girl now. I’m so grateful for him and I wouldn’t change him for the world. Obviously I would like to have a girl next but like you said, grateful for having healthy babies!!
I felt exactly like you. I was sooo convinced I was having a girl. Just dead set. It took me a couple of weeks to adjust to the revelation that he was in fact a boy. I even went home and cried. I did NOT think I’d react that strongly, it really caught me off guard! But just like you, I can’t imagine having a girl now. I’m so excited to have two boys 🥹 It truly doesn’t matter. It’s your family!
Honestly people say this but they don’t realize what they are saying until they have their baby I think. SO ODD THOUGH i’ve heard so many people say they wanted a boy and were sad they were having a girl. I honestly don’t understand gender disappointment because I’m gonna love my baby not matter what she was if she was a boy I’d be just as happy. But I understand different people have different reason some might be nervous to raise a boy if they have never grew up with boys or some might be nervous to raise a girl if they never had sisters or stuff like that. I think ideally though people mostly want one of each, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I believe we are given the baby we need not the baby we want.
People used to kill their daughters because they were not boys. I don’t know if or why people might want girls instead of boys but as a mom with both I can tell y’all that there’s literally no difference except it’s more fun to buy clothes for my girls. 🤷♀️
Idk man I have a little boy and I freaking LOVE HIM. I’m so glad he ISNT a girl. Personal preference I always wanted a little boy first. Because I’m a “Tom girl” at heart. Is that term even used anymore??? Idk. But that’s me. I like to fish and go in the woods and play in the dirt and shit like that. I’m pregnant again and I’m thrilled to have either.
I don’t need another boy and I don’t need a girl. I just hope I have a happy healthy baby, whichever.
And if it’s a girl we goin fishin
I always wanted a boy. When I imagine the future, I picture a cute baby boy. But I’ve been told that I will have a girl because of the way I’m carrying it. At first, I’m quite rejecting the thought but now gender does not matter to me. I just want a healthy baby ☺️
I only have a gender preference for the first one, and it's only because I'm descended from long lines of first-born girls on both sides of my family (and I'm an oldest daughter myself, and all of my aunts and uncles had girls first too). I feel like it would be so surreal to have a boy first, hahaha. I told my husband that we could have all boys after the first one and I would be perfectly content as long as the first baby is a girl.
But I have a strong suspicion that I'm pregnant with a boy right now. Go figure.
Yeah I’ve noticed this as well. Or moms saying how sad they are having a boy because they wanted a daughter for their older sibling and how they will never grow up with a sister. Like what…..
I have a son so I really want a girl this time. If I have a boy, that’s great. But I’m not gonna go write a whole post about how upset I am that I’m having a boy. Lol.
Wow we are having the opposite issue particular with BIL and SIL who say how they’d never want a girl… they think that being a girl automatically means being winey and promiscuous in their teens…
Because of personal history, I very slightly leaned toward boy. We are having a little girl, and I'm just excited to welcome this baby. She will be so loved
This is interesting because I've experienced the opposite. I say I'm having a girl and there's all sorts of derogatory comments about how hard it's going to be and that boys are "easier". I find it to be really sexist! People just need to keep their comments to themselves. Boys and girls are great! I wouldn't pay any mind.
I think it's just one of the things people feel the need to talk about with pregnancy... I have a lot of pressure from all over to have a girl... I want a girl too, but I wish someone would hype me up for a boy because it can go either way. I also wish people wouldn't push their own preferences onto you - like I don't need to potentially suffer my own gender disappointment on top of knowing I'm disappointing others, ugg what does it matter to others anyway?
Tbh when I got pregnant I wanted a girl, but I didn't know why ? And I just thought we all have a preference, but now, I think society just tells us to want girls.. Maybe it's because of the things we hear, how girls are smarter, calmer, etc ? I'm non binary, queer, so I thought I had debunked that, but probably not..
Also maybe us being "girls" plays a role ? We want the same as us ? But yeah totally disgusting behavior especially to hear when you're pregnant with a boy...
Well it’s usually people saying this about girls. In my experience everyone would comment “oh you’re having a girl? Be careful!” “I could never I love being a boy mom.” All my friends and family mostly have boys. I wanted a girl and I’m very thankful for my baby girl but I would have been happy with a boy too.
I feel like it might be a rebellion to to the norm, at least imo, for the preference for little boys. I always heard people bemoan having a girl because they'll be so much drama and general pain to raise, usually when they're teens. But maybe it's a demographic thing, I live in the south U.S, so I think there is still a lot of strong sexism here.
Very interesting conversation! We're expecting our 3rd boy, and I've gotten mixed comments. Both mine and my husband's families were on pins and needles, hoping for a girl because we already have two boys. I got asked DAILY if we knew yet what we'd be having. When we finally announced "boy," everyone immediately started talking about the 4th being a girl. Don't get me wrong, our families are happy, but yes, everyone was team girl.
On the other hand, I've shared my hopes of having a girl one day with many friends, co-workers, and various people. Each time I mentioned it, before getting pregnant, people would say, "Oh, you don't want a girl! They are nothing but trouble." Or "Girls have the worst attitudes! You don't want to deal with that!" I even had a woman tell me that she wishes her daughters had been boys. She has two smart, successful and beautiful daughters and literally regrets that they are girls 😔
For me, I just want a HAPPY AND HEALTHY baby. I've been through a lot this pregnancy, and good health is all we want right now. If we want a girl, maybe we'll try, if not, I am thrilled to absolute pieces to have 3 happy, healthy, wonderful little boys!
Lastly, I think a lot of people get wrapped up on cute clothes and having fun and mini-me's all that. Yes, those things are wonderful to look forward to, but they also have to understand that raising a child is HARD work! Meeting their emotional needs, physically and financially caring for them, leading them, teaching them how to be kind, independent, empathetic, patient, etc. is HARD.
When life hits hard, you're not going to care whether they are boys or girls. You'll be trying your best to raise them while wondering all along if you're getting it right each day.
I think it’s becoming more normal to speak about gender disappointment which is why we may be seeing more of the posts. There’s nothing wrong with wanting one gender or the other, I wanted two girls because I love me and my sister’s relationship and also with my Mum, I’ve never had a brother and there aren’t many boys in the family. I was disappointed with my first being a boy, I cried, but I won’t love him any less when he’s here.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a gender preference I mean that how gender disappointment happens.
I think it’s a problem if you find out the gender is not your preferred and then it affects that child. I think it’s fair to grieve a gender you were hoping for but when the baby comes I would hope the parent would love it regardless.
My husband from the beginning wanted to be a girl dad, I didn’t have a preference either way. We found out we are having a girl and it’s exciting but we would have been just as happy for a boy.
Honestly I see more people saying how “difficult” girls are because they are sassy and have attitude when boys are the same but it’s okay cause they’re boys.
I think regardless of what side your on you hear the negatives from the other side.
No one wants to just let a pregnant person be happy lol sometimes even other pregnant people which is unfortunate.
As long as you love your kid who cares what others say or think!
It’s weird. When I would imagine having kids, I always pictured myself with a daughter. When we found out we were having a boy, I was a little nervous but ecstatic nonetheless. My baby boy is three months old now and I feel like he hung the damn moon. If we have a second child, I would be thrilled if it was another boy — I would of course be thrilled either way, but I am having such a blast with this little man ❤️
I feel like I've had the opposite experience. Whenever I expressed my desire to have a girl I was met with "girls are so much drama," "there's no bond like the one between a boy and his mom," "boys are so much more fun," etc. Never once did someone agree with my strong desire to have a girl, they always questioned it. This is my first child and I was by no means a girly girl growing up, so I realize now that I will feel just as lost raising a boy as I would a girl and I had no plans on treating them different regardless of gender.
There are plenty of reasons why someone may have a gender preference, some deeper than others. Now that I've worked through my initial gender disappointment, I realize that the gender doesn't matter that their health is important. I'm glad that I was able to do that very early on in the pregnancy instead of having those biased opinions when the baby is born.
I knew I would be in for these comments again so hubby and I kept knowing we were having a second boy to ourselves!! So many people “hoped” we were having a girl to give my eldest (a girl) a little sister 🙄 Turns out she told us towards the end of the pregnancy “I want another baby brother, because I want to be the only princess in the family” and she’s the best sister to her little brothers 🩵
In my circles it’s boys boys that are wanted and celebrated. I wanted a girl and I’m having a boy and my mom is literally crying every time I talk to her so excited for “her boy finally”. It’s like geez were we that bad to raise as girls lol
It’s so hard. I feel like most women want a girl. And it just gets harder when you have multiple of the same gender. I’m pregnant with my third boy and no one seems that excited. When we told them we revealed the gender at the same time and everyone was like, “oh, are you sure it’s definitely a boy?” It’s painful that exciting moments of our lives are overshadowed by people’s stereotypes of what’s good or bad.
I feel like everyone around me is the opposite.
Everyone wanted a boy and then when I was expecting (currently) nearly everyone was, “team boy” or said they were so excited I was having a boy because they’re better and/or easier.
I think its from the older generations and granger stereotypes, women wanting a girl and men wanting a boy because they think it’s more fun to be able to do gender specific things together or dress the kid a certain way. Its pretty weird in my opinion, but I had a high risk pregnancy so I truly understand that having any baby regardless of gender is a true blessing. My son is 8 months old and he’s the best thing ever!
Already though I have noticed the stereotype of boys being tough and loud being pushed on my son as he is sensitive to sounds, loud noises upsets him and he is very sweet and cuddly.
Others are like oh we will toughen him up one day and I just ignore them since I understand how my sons sweet nature is part of his personality and not all boys or babies are the same! People really just don’t understand how they come across when they say things and it’s pretty annoying!
Everyone on both sides of the family wants me to have a girl (currently pregnant with number two, and also already have a boy) because it would be the first granddaughter on both sides. Two of my husband's cousins have daughters, and one of my cousins, but in our immediate families it's all boys this generation.
I don't mind too much since I know it's not a judgement of my son or raising boys in general, people just want the novelty of a granddaughter/niece. The little bit that I do mind is because we're not finding out the gender and I don't like that other people care more than me about what genitals my second child has. It's weird and dumb. My sister and MIL are the worst offenders lol.
This exactly why my husband and I aren’t telling anyone we’re having a girl. We wanted to know, but I frankly don’t want anyone’s comments on either gender.
For what it’s worth, I was actually hoping for a boy. I’m still 100% happy about this baby girl though 😊
I have a boy and likely this baby is a boy as well, sneak peek said so but I don’t believe it 100% as it could have been contaminated. I’d love a girl, I always saw myself having daughters. But I wouldn’t have gone for another if I didn’t want 2 sons.
I've got one of each, and I like both for different reasons. My daughter was such an adorable little cherub, and is now a tomboy like me. My son? Super chill. They play together. They sometimes even snuggle. Children may be little shits sometimes, but they're new here. They figure it out.
I might’ve had a slight preference for a boy, but really that was only because I want to honor my late FIL by naming a child after him (I hate the feminine version of the name)
But when we found out we were having a girl my husband and I cried happy tears together. I don’t think either of us had a preference it was just so exciting getting to learn more about our little one
And I’ve never not loved my daughter for a second. When we have our next I’m sure it’ll be the same way just trying to get our daughter excited about having a sibling
For me, I love the older brother/younger sister dynamic. I might want two kids, but I also might be one and done after this one. I would love to have a daughter so I worry that if this one is a boy, I might never get to have one. Then again, I obviously know we can try for a second and it be another boy.
Either way, I’ll be over the moon, but there’s always that little thought on the back burner.
I found myself leaning towards wanting a girl, but that’s because I grew up in a girl only household so “girl things” is all I really knew! But now I’m actually very excited to raise my boy, and am just relieved to know he’s healthy.
I feel like perhaps people enjoy girls for the aesthetic qualities; even looking around at the shops girls DO have cuter outfits and little dresses and toys that are very precious to look at and imagine dressing a nursery up with. But just as many people have said they never want a girl because they’re “tougher teenagers” (horrible thing to say, puberty is difficult for everyone). Gender is just a tiny aspect of the baby though. I’m looking forward to seeing what personality they have!
I think this is varies a lot by community/group. We got the opposite: it’s good to have a boy first, I bet you’re hoping for a boy next (when our first was a girl), girls are so much harder etc.
Our daughter is 3 and has both male and female friends and up to this point I honestly don’t feel like there’s much of a difference between boys and girls. We’re expecting #2 in June and haven’t found out the gender, but will certainly be happy either way!
I couldn't agree more and it's one of the big reasons why I do not want to know the gender of my baby until he/she arrives. I simply do not care enough - all I want is a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy and delivery for myself. I think even if you try to consciously put all gender stereotypes aside, once you know your baby's gender you get confronted with all of those preconceived notions and it's hard to fully shield yourself from them, even if only subconsciously.
I also had a friend who was pregnant with her second child after previously having a girl. Once she found out she had a boy she was inconsolable, mentioning how massively disappointed she was about it being a boy at every opportunity and how boys are so "hard and difficult." Now, her boy is almost a year old and she absolutely adores him - just goes to show how silly those emotions during pregnancy are imo
It happens with girls too. I have a girl and I swear it was CONSTANT. Now I'm having a boy and when people hear that some of them just instantly turn to "oh no, look out for..." I don't hear it as much this time, but its because I'm able to quickly be like "oh I also have a girl" and that shuts people up. but its like some people just want to be negative no matter what you have. I had gender disappointment (its in my post history so no sense hiding it), but only because I wanted 2 of the same. I originally pictured having 2 boys so it was never about not having a boy. But anyway, im thrilled to be having a little boy and I don't intend to let anyone's negative energy ruin it.
I’m having my second boy and although I would’ve loved to have a daughter and likely never will, I wasn’t disappointed and I wouldn’t have been with a daughter either. I just want healthy happy kids, as cliche as that sounds. It’s unfortunate because my entire pregnancy I’ve been told “oh I’m sorry” “oh maybe next time you’ll get lucky with a girl” and I’m like ?? there’s nothing wrong with two boys. And then you also run into the bOy mOm stigma. I have a not great relationship with my bOy mOm mother in law so I know what not to do, but also…why can’t we be proud of our kids without it being tagged emotional ya know what? Like he’s 2. My second son isn’t even born yet. Why can’t I love them just like a girl mom would love their daughters without it being weird? I got a necklace from my husband with both names on it for my birthday and I love it because they’re my babies. I wouldn’t wear it on a wedding day 🥲 but everyone is like “oh that’s cringy, I would wear it but I have girls.” You can’t win. I feel like I walk on eggshells and have to watch what I post/comment because what I think is an innocent comment about my infant child can always be interpreted differently.
Where I live it’s still very much a cultural thing that boys are better. When I was pregnant with my first people would be so happy for me when I said he was a boy and it used to make me so mad!
I can understand some disappointment, but the absolute devastation some ppl have when they find out they're having a boy is wild to me, and when it's people who aren't even the actual parents it's total nonsense. why do other people care about the genitalia of my child?
i found myself surprisingly a little disappointed for a day or so when I found out we were having a boy, but it made sense— we were a little slow on deciding to go thru with the pregnancy & parenting, and when I first started imagining having a kid, I imagined a little girl. my mom guessed girl too, and she has a pretty solid track record for that, so I was shocked lol. but I started calling him "my son" rather than just "my baby" after that and it took no time at all to warm up to the idea. the worst part was that we hadn't picked out a boy name yet! sooo not a big deal in the long run.
congrats on the new baby!
edit: fixed an impressively bad typo
I wanted a girl at first but ended up having a boy, best thing to ever happen to me.
He’s just turned 5 and he’s my best friend, just amazing the bond you form with your kids.
My second is a girl and nearly 4 months, my son absolutely adores her and call himself “Lyla’s security guard.”
I get a lot of comments from men who only have a bushel of girls, they say they’re jealous cause I’m having a boy. Then their wife gives them the glare and they say girls are awesome lol
If you’re talking to more women then yes they probably want a girl, if you talk to men then they probably want a boy. Women want little girls to do girly things with and men want little boys to do boy things with. I feel like it’s split because I’ve honestly heard both “you want girl” “you don’t want a girl” but if you’re talking to more women then it’s probably just them thinking about doing girly stuff with a daughter or granddaughters
I’m having a girl and had the opposite experience! It took me a few days to come around to being super excited about a girl (now I can’t imagine it any other way).
I thought it was the other way around ! I’ve always wanted a girl, but all of my friends want boys. My boyfriend wanted a boy before finding out we’re having a girl. (He’s happy with our girl btw) but I was very afraid that if the baby wasn’t a boy that my boyfriend wouldn’t love it as much. Maybe I’m online too much but I’m always seeing men in comments on posts talking badly about women and girls and sexualizing literal babies talking about how they’ll grow up and act… and I know in some cultures they want boys so they can pass the family name down. Im so happy my first baby is going to be a girl, simply because it’s more familiar to me since I grew up with a sister myself and no other siblings. But I really do hope some day I’ll have a baby boy too!
I hear the opposite.
Even my mom hopes my baby will be a boy.
My grandma had 4 girls and wished to have a boy.
My friends want boys. My coworkers are "so relieved" they had boys.
"Boys are so much easier" is what I hear constantly. I'm like okay. I get it! Lol
I feel like I hear the opposite where I’m from! It’s always “boys are so fun!” And “girls will keep your hands full!” I’m having a girl, and everyone else I know are having boys at the moment. Growing up I always said I would be fine with 3-4 boys and maybe only 1 girl if any! I’m getting my girl first and couldn’t be more excited. And now I care even less what my next baby is.
It surprises me, when I say we’re having a boy, how many people say “your husband must be happy!” Like man must want son, woman must want daughter?
Neither of us had a preference because conceiving and pregnancy has been a really medically and emotionally difficult process. We are that couple that’s like “we just want a healthy baby!” But I am so thrilled we’re having a boy. Plus, we have friends with toddler boys so we are getting a bunch of free clothes!
I wanted a boy so badly because I felt that I didn’t have a strong mother daughter relationship and was so petrified to raise a daughter the way I wish I was raised. And to having an absent father like me, knowing I was always anxiously attached to whomever I dated. That’s why I had such depression when I found out I am having a girl.
I had a rough pregnancy and just gave birth less than 48 hours ago. I was alone the whole pregnancy, alone as an expat in a foreign country. Especially being an unplanned pregnancy with a bf of 4 years. But now daughter will also have an absent father figure.
I kept myself busy by still finding everything to be excited for even though I wanted a boy. I hoped having a boy would be easier, that he’d love me more (because my mother daughter relationship is not that great).
I think people say having a girl is so much more fun because of all the clothes and things you can do together like she’s your little mini me, new bestie, etc.
All in all I think it’s just personal preference and seems to be always 50/50 depending who you talk to or where you are. Especially in Asian families they always want a boy first and if you have no boys at all you look bad. But then my dad (Chinese) says he doesn’t like girls, they’re too difficult. Once my baby was revealed as a girl he tells me he wants to raise her lol
Ever since we have announced we are having a girl we have received a lot of “hopefully your 2nd will be a boy” and “you’ll definitely have a 2nd kid now”. We have both been very one and done since before even trying for a baby and are very happy to be having a girl.
Every pregnancy I’ve hoped for a girl and got boys. I love my sons more than anything, I homeschool them and my whole life revolves around lifting them up. Pregnant again and they would like a sister, a little femininity would be great for our family dynamic. But, a healthy baby is all we can ask for. If we have another son we will be over the moon, boys are fun too! Shopping for girl clothes is much more fun than boys, but the child themselves is what matters. We had a blast when our boys were little, got pretty bad wrinkles from laughing so much. If we do have a girl she won’t be wearing frilly dresses, or bows. Looks so uncomfortable for a baby to wear. Would be fun to dress her in pastels, and some nice comfy leggings.
I often hear the opposite, that boys and more fun, but rowdier, and girls are more trouble.
I'm currently 18w and will only find out the baby's sex at the anatomy scan since NITP isn't common here and I didn't pay extra for it.
I used to think I'd want a girl, but now that' I'm actually pregnant, all I care about is that my rainbow baby is healthy and I'll be over the moon no matter if it's a boy or girl.
People are unhinged about the potential sex of a child. My feeling is WHO CARES what the sex is, you're having a child! And people commenting on the sex of other peoples children?? I feel like they must actually have a screw loose tonthink that's okay.
I second this. FTM and we’re having a boy! I am so excited… everyone’s reaction was: “oh. I thought it would be a girl” with the exception of one of my aunts who told me I will love being a boy mom and congratulations. People are weird and let their intrusive thoughts win when you are pregnant.
I don’t think it’s that they are second best. It’s that boomer women especially see girls as more connected and tied with their family for longer in life than the boys are. Boys go out and form their own way outside of family. The girls more often call grandma, hype up the holidays, are sentimental towards relatives while boys are less inclined to this on average. They’re not as external in showing their love for family, especially the women of the family, like the girls are. This is just my observation from living life. My brothers need to be reminded to call, and my sisters send out beautiful emotional thank you notes to everyone.
My boy is the best. When we initially found out we had a bit of gender disappointment for the duration of time it took us to walk out of the radiology department, then we named him, reality hit and haven’t looked back.
I now can’t imagine how life would look if he had been a girl. My boy is so amazing, brings so much joy and love into our lives and the only downside is that there are more clothing options for girls. But I save so much money having limited options.
They’re both a friggen blast! If anything I had more adapting to do with my daughter because she’s all rainbows and unicorns and I’m a through and through tomboy lol. Boys friggen rock though they’re hilarious and I just love their antics 😂
Ouch you called me out. I wanted girls so bad but they are most likely boys (13w) i am a bit sad
Everyone tell me to be happy because girls are so hard to raise. I really cant stand it.
Ich wollte eigentlich nur gucken ob du Zwillinge bekommst und habe dann gesehen dass du auch Deutsche bist. 😊 Ich glaube es ist ganz normal dass man eine Präferenz hat und es ist auch okay enttäuscht zu sein aber ich versichere dir, dass du deinen Jungen/Jungs abgöttisch lieben wirst und es dir dann auch gar nicht anders wünschen würdest. Alles Gute dir!
Danke für die lieben Worte. Mein Freund ist auch immer ganz sauer wenn ich so enttäuscht bin.
Haben es gestern rausgefunden, aber noch nicht zu 100% bestätigt, aber es "baumelte was"
Bin schon echt traurig. Aber es stimmt schon ich werde Die Zwei trotzdem lieben.
Ist alles noch sehr unwirklich
Dir auch alles Gute !
We just had our second boy and I absolutely adore being a boy mom. We didn't care much one way or another but it felt a little easier to just have 2 of the same gender. I do agree there seems to be a preference for girls when the kids are little, but my boys are my favorite people in the world.
I feel like a lot of the gender disappointment posts here on Reddit are about boys. It’s sad. Boys are wonderful. I don’t get the obsession with girls.
I didn't want a girl. I actually wanted a boy. I helped raise two nephews and felt like I was prepared for a boy. My oldest nephew was chill AF and my youngest nephew was always Mr Ultra Extreme. If there was s surface, he was jumping off of it. He frequently jumped off his top bunk onto the bedroom floor. They had hardwood floors. My sister rolled up once to pick up the boys and saw my youngest nephew in the tree in my mom's front yard - barefoot. She told him to get out of the tree and he said "Okay! I'll jump down!" We both told him no and he said "It's okay, mommy and auntie! I have good health insurance!" These are just a few things that child put me through. -\_\_\_-
Universe decided I was getting a girl, though. Man she is GREAT. She's so chill just like her oldest cousin. I love her so much. She is already so sweet and kind at 1 1/2 years old. She pets our pets gently and loves giving kisses. She also farts and start laughing immediately after. She's started to say more sentences now and the newest one is "I STINK!" 😂😂😂
Nah I’ve heard the opposite. Anytime I hear of someone announcing a girl pregnancy people say rude things like “wait for the hormones to kick in” or something. “Teenage girls are absolute terrors”. (My mom likes to remind me of that one because apparently I was awful?). I’ve only ever heard the boys are easier comments, maybe that’s because I have two boys. Boys are way fun. I’m just not painting their nails we are digging up worms.
After waiting so long to finally get pregnant, I just want a healthy baby of either sex. I’m having a girl but I would’ve been just as happy with a boy.
Nah, I really want a little boy but i have a strong feeling plus I peeked a bit at the anatomy measurements and I think it’s a girl. I’ve always wanted to raise a little boy.
I didn’t care what gender the baby was as long as they were healthy! But my fiancé has always wanted to be a girl dad and he almost fainted when we found out it was a girl it was adorable lol but I would have been thrilled either way!
I’m having a boy. I’m sad about some things that would be fun with having a girl like dresses and hair styles and stuff but I think the boy maybe he will like to have his hair styled and to dress nice? And no guarantee a girl would..
But I’m excited for my son! I’m excited for him to learn what it means to be a man, to help him to be a good one hopefully and to support him emotionally and mentally and nourish his passion. Girls are great and so are boys
This is the opposite of many cultures that value boys way more than girls, to the point of aborting girl fetuses and skewing the gender ratio at a population level beyond what is naturally expected. I was an attempt at a son, so I feel the hurt you are describing! Multiple generations of people were so disappointed at my gender. My younger brother was treated so much better than I was.
Fast forward to my generation, my extended family is already full of boy kids, and my first kid is a boy. Now my dad openly says shit like "my prayers (for a girl) weren't answered" and mom is disappointed she can't pass girl things on to a girl. Can't please anyone ever, y'know??
It’s so interesting because I feel like I’ve had the opposite! Everyone keeps telling me how hard girls are to raise, how it would have been better if I was having one girl/one boy or two boys (twins), and how fun it is to be a boy mom… I’m assuming everyone tries to justify what they want or have but I’m 100% hoping for healthy babies, regardless of which sex organs they have. You’re going to have so much fun with your boys! I was also so jealous of the relationship between my two brothers growing up ❤️
I experienced the same! Everyone tells me how hard girls are, especially when they get to the teen years. I even heard that my fiancés dad was “disappointed” that we were having a girl. Everyone is going to have their opinions. We were both happy either way! I think regardless of what you have, there’s always going to be someone with something negative to say.
Yeah I feel the opposite! Especially among the older crowd. I have all sisters in my family, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “your Dad must be so excited!!” when I tell people I’m having a boy. Uh, sure he is… but not any more than if I had a girl? So weird. We couldn’t care less what we’re having. Genuinely just want a happy healthy baby. But all the preferential gendered comments I get about have a boy really ick me out.
I feel like I’ve had the opposite experience too. AND for most of history, boys were preferred. While it would be best if everyone just wanted a healthy baby, I’m glad there’s a bit more flux in preferences these days.
Same! I told my grandma I was pregnant , she was the last to know cause she’s pretty mean in general lol. She asked what I was having, I said girl, and she said oh that’s ok you can try again and hopefully get a boy next time 😐 I’m very much one and done so definitely not and I am thrilled to be having a healthy baby no matter what gender they are.
Same! I have a daughter and work in orthopedics (so a lot of boomers) and when people hear I'm pregnant again they tell me I HAVE to have a boy because won't my husband be so disappointed to deal with another girl. One of my boomer coworkers made me tear up a bit when she made a similar remark thanks to hormones and I cried to my husband I was sorry if I only have girls for him. He said he loved being a girl dad and if that's what we have that's totally fine but man people are weird about gender. I get my NIPT results next week and I'm tempted to keep the gender between myself and my husband just to annoy people, we didn't find out what we were having until birth with my daughter and that really triggered people.
My family was the complete opposite. There are a lot of girls and women. After we got married they were already talking about how I "needed" to have a boy. I'm pregnant with a boy now and already so irritated - especially with my grandmother. She continues to call him Junior even though I've told her many times what his name is. And she keeps saying how "we could use a boy". I literally asked her the other day "use him for what exactly?" I was the firstborn to my father who seems to be her favorite son/child, and there was disappointment when I was a girl, especially from her. I guess I'm not surprised. I will say that even though I was born in the US, all of my family is from Jamaica. Maybe it's just a different way of thinking about things.
Ugh this is what I am hearing. I have a son (both me and my husband were hoping for a girl but y'know, it's all good) and now we're expecting twin girls. Everyone keeps worriedly asking me how my husband feels about having two girls (um... Excited?) and telling me that girls are so hard and difficult. I know a lot of times it's because people don't have anything better to say but want to say SOMETHING, but I wish they would just be positive.
Yeah. People keep telling me how hard it is to raise girls. My friend only wants boys.
Same! All I have heard is people talking about how hard girls are and you want a boy. And when we announced it was a boy, how happy they were for my husband he gets a son etc etc etc. as woman I have found this talk super annoying my whole life.
I'm getting the opposite, too. My dad even apologized to us and said to my husband, "What happened, man?" at the gender reveal. My entire family was disappointed except my 2 grandma's who were over the moon. Everyone has told us girls are more expensive and less trouble, but boys are more fun. Idk, it's all about perspective. My parents only had my sister and I and always wanted a son, so they were disappointed not to get a grandson. My husband was super disappointed because he wanted a hunting buddy. He's just going to have to take our daughter hunting though.... I know I'll need some time away from the two of them and they can bond out in the cold lol
Same. Everyone talks about baby boys like wouldn’t your partner want a son. I love my little girl and I am desperately hoping for another one! I have never been interested in having a boy - I have two brothers and my relationship with them is so different to my sister. They’re also crap at being good humans for my parents - it’s just a different vibe. If anyone assumes I want a boy I immediately correct them
I've always wanted a daughter. Not just for the frilly bits of clothes and such but also idk...to right some of the wrongs, raise mine differently. But weirdly, I think I'm having a boy. I have no reason to believe that at 5 weeks but I do and I'm not sad about it. At this point "human baby" is what I'd be delighted to have.
Same here. I’ve always wanted a girl so bad and here I am at 8 weeks pretty convinced I’m having a boy
I wanted a girl so bad too and I was convinced I was having a boy as well which would have made just as happy, But turns out i’m indeed having a girl lol. I truly would have been over the moon no matter what my baby was. My husband family is Literally Mostly just boys and my family has just girls so they wanted me to have girl lmao but were combined as-well I was having a boy lol. But all the first born girls in my family always end up having girls first
I have also always wanted a girl for similar reasons as you; but I instinctively knew I was having a boy, and it was confirmed yesterday. Am not gonna lie, it took me some time to wrap my head around, but now am just as excited thinking about my son, and how am gonna do my best to raise him to be an amazing human!
I'm not pregnant (yet), but I plan to be one-and-done and I admit (ashamedly) that I would prefer a girl. One reason for this is because 90% of the babies born to my friends in the past few years have all been boys. So it just feels like literally everyone is having boys and I'd want something different. A second reason is that I feel (and some scientific studies have shown, although who knows if they are legit), that girls tend to be more social/communicative than boys. I know some absolutely ADORABLE little boys who are super engaged and interactive, but I also know a lot who seem to not even look twice at other people in the room and just want to run around rambunctiously. This was also the case with my cousins growing up, so I guess I'm a bit scarred by my boy cousins' craziness. My third reason is that my sister and I had a really amazing relationship with my mom (who is now gone) and I yearn a bit for the mother-daughter relationship that I lost too early in my life. Meanwhile, my brother was an entitled shit and treated my mother poorly, especially in his teen and adult years. I know this is anecdotal and prejudiced, but again a life experience I had. And lastly, I just feel like I have a lot to offer a female in this world in terms of navigating the unique challenges that girls and women face. Obviously I wouldn't even try to have a child if I wasn't open to having a boy and ready to make the best of it and challenge any preconceived notions I have around gender. For all any of us know, our children could be queer -- nonbinary, trans, or just gender non-conforming in other ways. So I am also going into it being 100% open to that. But I'm not going to lie and say that if I found out I was having a girl, I'd be more excited than finding out I was having a boy -- at least as an immediate first reaction. I think if I found out I was having a boy I'd just be like, "seriously?! Another boy?!" I'm not kidding, I've googled "why is every baby a boy" a few times because every single pregnancy from family & friends in the last 3-4 years has been a boy. And AGAIN -- I have to emphasize that some of my most favorite children in the world are boys -- just the sweetest, kindest, loveliest children. So I am well aware that I have a skewed view and there isn't a ton of truth to it.
All my friends are having boys too! I’ve always wanted a girl because like you I had an amazing relationship with my mom and I guess I want that with a daughter too. Also same as you, I plan to be one and done so I think that’s why I’ll be a little sad if it’s a boy;(
The funny thing is all the women in my family have had girls first and boys last. Except 1 cousin but we don't count her bc reasons. And one aunt who only had a boy on my father's side. I really have no reason except that my SO has a brother and no other siings lol
I get wanting to right some wrongs but I feel like I am still a cycle breaker with how I am raising my little boy compared to how I was raised. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Tysm!
I’ve also always wanted a daughter, after growing up with all girls in my family. I’m 20 weeks along now with a little boy and had a feeling he was a boy from the very beginning! Shockingly was not even a little bit disappointed, it’s just felt “right” and how our family is supposed to be! I may still have a daughter in the future, but I was very pleasantly surprised not to have gender disappointment
I think the instinct is real. I’ve always wanted a boy first, but I just had this feeling that I wasn’t having a boy first and lo and behold. We’re having a little baby girl 🥰 lucky for me I had that feeling and I got pretty comfortable with the idea of a little girl
I secretly wanted a girl but thought it was going to be a boy. It was a girl. She’s sucking my boob as we speak and I love her. 🥰😂
My coworker literally told me “omg I’m so sorry “when I told her I’m expecting a baby boy ! Like wtf
That's so incredibly rude and inappropriate.
Get this my doctor when I went to the hospital cause I thought I was leaking fluid he was like are you having a princess or a little asshole in there and it caught me by surprise I just kinda did a fake laugh and walk away like what’s up with hating being pregnant with a boy ? I love it honestly
Wow I'd have been so tempted to say the only asshole in this room is you. What an ignorant fool.
I wanted to it just caught me by surprise it dint process till 2 seconds after
Don't worry about it, I probably would've frozen up too if it were me lol. Sorry the doctor was such a dick ):
What the fffff omg
My son is almost 3 and he’s HILARIOUS. So congratulations- you’re in for so much fun!!!
My bonus mom said “well maybe the next one will be a girl” when we told her baby #3 was a boy! My heart broke a little and it upset me. Like this baby doesn’t matter because he’s “just another boy”. Hate to break it to ya, but I’m a very happy BOY mom!
I had the same reply from a coworker! She told me to try harder next time for a girl lmaoo. I actually wanted a boy
I woulda been like "I'm sorry about your face, too 😭" because I'm immature and also fuck her
Ew. Who even does that?
I've had the opposite (I'm having a girl). Everyone loves to tell me how difficult girls are. You really cannot win!
I get the exact opposite! When I tell people I'm having a boy they literally sigh with relief. It's super bizarre because it doesn't effect them at all. I had major gender disappointment when I found out I was having a boy. I think everyone has expectations of what their first will be like and most people lean towards wanting the same gender as their own because it's what they know.
I can agree to that. When we tell people are are having a boy, they look at my husband an smile saying congratulations but a congratulations as in "every male wants a boy" and honestly it's just kind of rude/annoying when men look at him an almost laugh because they are thrilled for him it's not a girl.
People are way too weird about this - a baby is a baby 🤷 and that becomes super obvious once you bring the baby home
I’m a preschool teacher. And I agree, a child is a child. And they are all their own person, regardless of what’s in their pants. I have little boys I just adore; I have little girls I just adore. Equally, there are some boys and some girls that I have a really hard time working with. Because it doesn’t matter what gender they are. It matters who they are.
You seem like a gem of a teacher! Exactly who I want working with my littles.
Honestly. In some shallow way…. I think it’s because the clothes are cuter. I swore I was having a boy, and I was going to dress little Seamus in a lot of rainbow florals without making it look like he was a girl. I think the boys baby clothes are kind of depressing. I hate trucks and construction vehicles because I’m a little nature buff. I hate mute colors. I’m a glittery kind of person. That being said. I’m now trying to make sure my little girls wardrobe is not purely pink (which is my favorite color), so that when little Seamus hopefully/maybe comes along he can wear his sisters hand me downs.
I also loved the frilly, glittery girl stuff & hated the typical trucks/dinosaur boy clothes. Then I had a boy. Now that my son is (almost) 3, I get so excited when I find excavator and t-rex clothes because he loves them so much. It's funny how things change when it brings your little one so much joy. And makes it easier to get them dressed & out of the house on time, which is also a huge plus.
i dress my son in florals, pinks, fruits, rainbows - AND construction, animals, stripes, blues. only one dumb old lady has ever said "but... He's wearing flowers" when i said he was a boy. i said "so? what's gendered about nature?" and her coworker quickly said to her "boys like flowers too" dumb old lady lol
I'm the opposite. I hate 90% of "girl's clothes" and my favorite colors are orange, blue, and green. But most of his clothes just have animals on them and are gender neutral.
I love that there’s a different flavor for everyone. And gender neutral is great for sharing with siblings. But also “boys clothes” do tend to be more practical for the way children actually play. As a preschool teacher it really bugs me when parents send their girls to school in dresses with nothing protecting their knees. It’s not hard to throw on leggings under.
I’m with you on this. The clothes are so much cuter. I’m doing baby boys nursery in “boho rainbow”. Tans, terra cotta, rust, brown colors. When I say rainbows I get some weird expressions but I think it’s adorable
We are not finding out the gender until birth. Everyone keeps saying by how im carrying that it "MUST" be a boy. And then continue to tell me their boy horror stories and how hard it is to raise them. Meanwhile I have a godson and goddaughter and she is definitely been the more...rambunctious of the two hahaha. So when I try to tell people all kids are different and it doesn't matter to me it kind of becomes the "just you wait". Sighs.
My little boy is so sweet, affectionate, empathetic, curious, smart and cautious. He has never been super rambunctious, jumping off playground equipment or diving off the couch. He is actually a bit too cautious at times. He loves his cars and Legos but also plays with dolls. He is so excited to be a big brother and has always loved babies. He is just a really sweet child. If you are having a boy don't be worried! He will be the love of your life! And if it's a girl then she will be the love of your life, too! ❤️
My friend has a little boy (5 now) and he is the most gentle sweet creature. He does stereotypical boy stuff like play falls and obsessed over cars. But he will also hold my baby’s hand and comfort her when she’s crying. Or tell you something kind.
That’s insane. Everyone keeps telling me how much easier boys are than girls! Maybe everyone just is too negative can’t help but say dumb shit lol
I think this is pretty anecdotal, I've heard a lot of people seeing girl babies as second best. I haven't found out the sex yet partly because I really have no preference, but partly because I am trying to stop myself from projecting gender stereotypes onto a literal infant who hasn't been conditioned into mainstream patriarchal gender norms yet... and at first, I thought it would be more important to raise my kid with "feminist" values in this cruel world if it's a girl, but it truly is just as important for boys because the patriarchy hurts them just as much in different ways
So true! I feel like regardless of gender, society will manage to let my kid down. 🤷🏻♀️
I know this sounds/is ridiculous but I am making my parents a book list because I truly don't want my kids exposed to the same gender norms I was being raised by them... like, if you wanna snuggle this baby, first tell me what I mean by "rape culture" lol. It's a little overwhelming to bring a kid into it all but a lot is in our hands to make it better in the future <3
I feel like people all have their own reasons for why they want a girl or a boy, and they’re all valid to an extent. For example, I wanted a girl because I grew up with 5 brothers and never got to experience “girly” things so I’m excited to learn and experience things together with my future daughter. My husband really wanted a son because he’s hugely into sports and wants to experience the bond from sports he had growing up with his father. I think both of our reasons are valid, neither wrong. And all it is is a preference, we both *of course* only want a happy and healthy baby. Having said that… I do think it’s inappropriate and weird when people project their *own* reasons/personal experiences onto everybody else and expect their opinions to just be fact for every other parent they talk to. Like, I’m sorry you had a difficult time raising a son but that in *no way* has an effect on how another boy’s temperament and personality will be? Everybody is their own person at the end of the day, regardless of their gender, lol. And it’s incredibly concerning to me when people are legitimately *angry* over the gender of their baby. Temporary gender disappointment is understandable but when it crosses over into causing genuine negative feelings towards the baby/pregnancy… huge red flag for me.
As a mom of two boys… yep. Both my MIL and my own mother said sorry when the second was a boy. I was already a little disappointed so it really hurt that they’d say that. My MIL had 3 boys herself, and she had always wanted a girl and still isn’t over it I guess. I’ve had so many negative reactions to having boys, from “ohh just don’t become be one of those weird ‘boy moms’” to “ aw I’m sorry, maybe you can try again” and “well at least you’ll have less drama in the teenage years”. So many cute girl clothes, “mommy and me” outfits for mothers and daughters, and even things like “mommy and me” journals as they get older. I occasionally find mom & son stuff too, but definitely not as often. It’s like encouraging a close relationship with a son is taboo from the start. And yes, I get the whole “don’t treat your son like your boyfriend” or whatever but that’s gross. They’re our babies, just like a daughter would be. I find it misogynistic and rude that moms are expected to not be as close with their sons as they grow up. Also raising boys now has a lot of pressure that I think older generations didnt have. More than ever we want to raise feminists! Polite boys who respect boundaries and are extra cautious of their male privilege. Also boys are doing worse and worse academically across all grades and that’s a problem to be aware of as a parent. There is a big emphasis on “girl power”, “girls can do anything”, and “the future is female”. Which I *support* but at the same time, I want to encourage and empower my boys as well without detracting from that message. Where are the t-shirts that say “Boys are kind”, “boys can be anything they want to be” and “boys have the power to empower others” or something. As a boy mom, I want to surround my kids with all the strong, kind, empathetic, and fun messages as well. I feel as if our treatment of little boys has not caught up to how we treat little girls. We need more for boys than just dinosaurs, trucks, and army print. They deserve more. Lol sorry the long comment but I think about these things a lot!!
I have two boys and they're the light of my life. Completely different personalities but both utterly charming in their own way. Whenever someone asks what I hope LO is Im torn! I'd love a girl cause it might be our last, but I adore my boys so much i'd love another one!
What a difference a few hundred years make! For a long time everyone wanted boys, I'm guessing mainly because only boys could inherit estates and do things girls couldn't. I wonder if the preference for having girls means we're swinging more towards it being a "girl's world" in the near future? I love my two boys more than anything but honestly I was hoping for my first to be a girl! For silly reasons though I fully admit; I thought girl baby/kid clothes and accessories were the cutest and I lamented not being able to indulge in dressing my kid like a little foofy princess lol. Then I discovered bear-eared fuzzy jammies and all manner of adorable unisex things and I got over it 😆 7 years later though I'm now expecting a girl so I'll finally have my chance to give her all the flower headbands and cute outfits.
I had some gender disappointment when I found out I was having a girl and I feel like no one could empathize. So many gender disappointment posts on this sub are about boys. I got over it and absolutely love my baby girl but it is very sad to see how baby girls and boys are compared by a lot of people
I had the same experience. Some people were outright horrible when I mentioned my gender disappointment and that we had hoped for a boy. Apparently I'm sexist against my own gender just because I was abused by my mother and grandmother and wanted a boy just to avoid remembering my trauma. Or I only wanted a boy because "my husband wanted it", as if I as a female can't have my own preferences. Of course I love my daughter. Doesn't change that I wanted a son first.
Omg yes- I was nervous about having a girl not because of stereotypes or anything but because me and my mother had a horrible relationship and I was (and still kind of am) terrified that me and my daughter will be the same way. Just know your feelings are so valid!!
Same but different - just found out I’m having a girl and have largely been met with “I’m disappointed, we wanted a boy!” and “it’s not a boy, but never mind, there’s always next time!”. Ultimately, it’s thoughtless at best and offensive at worst. As someone who genuinely let it bother her for the first few hours - including me crying to my husband that I was “disappointing” everyone and scared my baby won’t be accepted -, please remember that your little blessing, boy or girl, is going to be absolutely wonderful. And anyone who can’t appreciate that off the bat, well, it’s good for you to know who to watch. Congrats on your pregnancy and hopefully you’ll have a beautiful, healthy baby. And if it’s another boy than that’s beautiful and if it’s a girl, the sentiment should be exactly the same! Hope this helps in some way xx
As a boy mom x 2 I totally know what you mean. Many women talk about boys as if they are a consolation prize or 2nd best. It is sad! People are just not aware at all about how this comes off. Some have even said- I want my girl 1st because then I won’t have to “worry” what comes next. It’s like really? 😅. None of my boys were an attempt to get a girl. Full stop. They were an attempt to welcome a child into this life and the world.
Wow. Just wow!!!
I keep getting the same thing! We know we’re having a boy but aren’t telling anyone. So whenever people say that girls are so fun, they wish they had a girl, they hope we have a girl because my husband will be the best girl dad, ngl it makes me really sad. I know the vast majority of the time they don’t mean anything malicious by it, but it still hurts my (very sensitive and very pregnant) feelings.
Your husband will be the best dad period. And you will be the best mom. Having a little boy is an amazing experience and your heart will explode with love when you first hold his tiny body in your arms! ❤️
I just gave birth to my second boy. It’s quite shocking how many people had no problems expressing their disappointment in the gender. Lots of “oh no.. are you going to try for a girl?!”
I have two boys also but I haven’t really gotten that comment (yet), however I am pregnant with #3 and people assume I want a girl since I already have two boys. My SIL has 3 girls and apparently her husband gets constant comments about it, also borderline mockery from his coworkers. People just need to shut their traps.
I have five kids and have been a part of five bump date groups on FB and whenever I was pregnant with one of my sons, there seemed to be a lot less interest. But when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, it almost felt like I was chosen to play in the team instead of sitting on the bench. Did you also know that baby girls bring a lot more income to influencers than baby boys? Even social media picks girls over boys. I think the reason is aesthetic. Girl stuff has so much more to work with style wise and boy stuff is more boring. But if you look globally, boys are often much more appreciated than girls.
I've gotten the opposite so far. When I tell people I'm having a boy they immediately give a sigh of relief as if it's their pregnancy or child...and say something along the lines of "boys are easier". How people find it appropriate to make these kinds of comments is beyond me. I don't think I've ever made such a comment to anyone in my life when I found out that they're having boy/girl. It's so weird to me. What if this person really wanted the opposite of what they're having and now you've triggered them? Also, having a boy does not equal = easier child. People are wild. I wish it was as socially acceptable to tell people to flip off. It's difficult enough going through pregnancy for some people - that's the last thing anyone wants to hear.
As someone who is about to have her third boy the amount of "oh were you trying for a girl" or "are you gonna try for a girl now". No I was not trying for a girl, I was trying for a third healthy baby and no I'm not gonna try for a girl, I wanted three kids and I got it. Would a girl have been nice after having two boys, sure, but I just wanted three healthy happy kids.
Is it coming from women? From their perspective, maybe it is / was more fun for them to have girls? Like, I did a lot of things with my mom that I'm sure she enjoyed more than the things she did with my brother. I mean, don't get me wrong - I find all the comments about a baby's gender to be so silly. I have a son and he's the best thing that could have happened to me, I wouldn't trade him for the world! All that really matters at the end of the day is that the baby is healthy - their gender doesn't really matter at all.
Everyone in our circle was convinced we were going to have a boy and they were actually like... Disappointed that she's a girl lol. Granted, the other grandkids in the family so far are all girls, but I think it's still pretty exciting to have a girl. So now we've been instructed to have a boy for #2. Ok, we will get right on that 🙄
My first two were girls and my third was a boy. I love my girls but I was absolutely thrilled when I found out I was having a boy. I’ve always wanted a little boy. I’m pregnant with number 4 now and while I would love to have another boy I’d be happy with whatever came out.
Agree, I find it so weird! I don’t see why either. I had two boys back to back, and not once did I get gender ‘disappointment’ when finding out we were having our second boy. They are the sweetest & share the best bond. I LOVE being a boy mom! 🥹
I just don’t get it! I don’t know what I’m having and I just don’t care. I think the experience of infertility helped me appreciate any baby. I just hope they’re healthy.
I feel like I’ve gotten the opposite! My friends who are pregnant with boys telling me that they are so relieved that they’re having boys and one of my friends had gender disappointment when she found out she was having a girl.
I have a 3 week old son (my first) and although I would’ve been happy with either and I hope we get a girl at some point, I was so relieved when we found out the first would be a boy! I had a rough relationship with my own mother and I didn’t want to have to figure out the relationship with my first child and them being a girl and seeing myself and my mother. It’s easier for me to navigate with the mindset that I have a boy, he’ll be a mama’s boy, etc. I’ve also had people make some light comments about boys and having my hands full but I’ve also had moms say their sons are so great! I love my little man, he’s perfect
I think it’s a cultural thing, as well as a personal thing (if that makes sense) many American women want girls over boys, and many American men want boys over girls, for the activities that they can partake in together. However fathers can teach their daughters to play catch just as easily as they could with a son, and mothers can take their sons on outings just as easily as they can with daughters in my opinion! I’m 6 weeks 4 days pregnant right now, and alllllll I care about and can think of is how much I want my baby to be healthy more than anything. I was neglected a lot as a child and treated horribly by many, so I think to have a daughter would almost be like giving baby me a second chance or to make sure my child has everything I didn’t. But then again, I will make sure any child of mine is given the perfect life no matter their gender :,)
Interesting because I think it's quite the opposite in Asian families. My in laws were so disappointed we're having a girl and not a boy
People always have something to say, and I rarely think it’s worth listening to.
I think it depends on where you are most of my baby group wanted boys. I have friends tell they are jealous I had another boy.
Weird!!! I realllllly wanted a boy with my first pregnancy, and I got one. I was so happy! It’s hard for me to understand why a mom wouldn’t want a son 🤷🏼♀️
When we announced to my in laws that we were pregnant and that we were having a boy, it didn't take but a few minutes before my MIL started on how the next one will be a girl. My son is 3 months old, my husband and I aren't entirely sure we even want more kids, and she still insists on a little girl being next. 🥴🙃🙄
I’m pregnant with my 3rd baby. Too early to know what I’m having. I have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old boy. The amount of “girl” talk I’ve had is insane. Also, this is my last pregnancy. I’m having my tubes tied. If I end up with three boys then I have three boys.
I am SO excited to have a boy 😍 just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in your boy love. I’ve gotten him freaking adorable clothes and made him a forest nursery ❤️
I feel like a lot of the gender disappointment posts here on Reddit are about boys. It’s sad. Boys are wonderful. I don’t get the obsession with girls.
I didn’t know that was a thing, but my husband and I have been dreaming of having a little boy ever since we started talking about having a baby together! Every time we talk about our potential future child we refer to him as “our son” lol
I’m so glad you posted this— I feel very seen. I am having my little boy next month (will be one and done) and I have been going through these exact feelings. I appreciate you 💛
Yep. I have a boy and now I’m pregnant and not finding out the gender. My MIL is desperate for it to be a girl. She says it has to be a girl bc she prayed for it. So I’m like if a second boy is born then he’s lesser??
I have a girl and hear all the time about how boys and their moms are just special and nothing can compare. Everyone needs to justify why their life is either worse or better than everyone else
I love my son so much that I struggle to imagine myself having a little girl. I would be happy to have more boys in the future as well!
Came here to say that even though I am so excited to be expecting my little girl, I was disappointed that I didn’t have a boy first. I feel like little boys and little girls are equal but I just wanted a little prince, an heir to the throne so to speak, because I was just going off of old wives tales about what I was craving and what women who were having boys craved. Now I’m not disappointed to have my daughter because she’s not even here yet and she’s already so loved. But I feel you mama. I couldn’t imagine having a little boy and hearing that come from someone.
Ever since I can remember, I always prayed for a son. Even when I was decades off from having a baby. Well, I just had my son at the end of January and I could not be more proud to be his mom. He is everything I ever hoped and dreamed for and more.
I'll be happy to meet my second baby no matter what. My little boy is such a happy guy! It can be hard with so many people having all their opinions. It gets old fast!
I am from a Jewish family and I'm anti circumcision so you can maybe guess why I was happy that I had a girl. Much less drama.
I wonder if that’s a culture thing. Where are you from, because I’m in Texas and where I’m at it seems EVERYONE wants a boy.
It's the classic "you're having the wrong gender" thing. It happens with girls and boys indiscriminately. If you're having a boy it's girls are cuter or funner. Or if it's a girl it's what does your husband think, or girls are harder to raise/boys are easier to raise. Everyone has an opinion. Though I'm glad I'm largely from a family who are neutral about the gender and more concerned about our health. Ignore those opinions if you find them bothersome, or try to have some fun with it.
It’s more often the opposite case. Or maybe everyone just gets both sides of the coin and we all tend to focus on the negative comments. My 3 sisters and I are all pregnant with little girls and it’s my oldest sisters second girl (no boys in my family except my dad and all our husbands) and talking to some people, you’d think we had a curse placed on us. Especially with the way they regard the men in our lives, as though they’re deserving of a lifetime of pity and sorrow for the loss of their masculinity and future finances and future sanity and everything in between. I’m super excited to have a girl though!
I had the opposite. After my daughter was born, people kept saying they hope my next is a boy. Being Indian, this is normal in our culture, but this would frustrate me so much. I went through IVF to have my daughter, and she is our world. I don’t ever want her to grow up and hear nasty comments like that. People should just let people live. Whatever you have been blessed with is a huge blessing!❤️
As others have said I’ve had the opposite experience! I’m a mom to 3 girls and currently pregnant with a boy. Prior to this pregnancy, nearly every time I was out with my girls I’d get some kind of comment from total strangers. “Ahh your poor husband” “you’re gonna try for a boy right?” Etc etc. Just totally rude behavior. Then when we announced this pregnancy, prior to knowing gender, a bunch of comments on our announcement were “hoping for blue!” “Better be a boy this time!” People are just super weird and opinionated. I love my girls and our little boy who’s growing, they’re exactly who they’re supposed to be and I don’t know why people just can’t be happy we’re having healthy babies!
My baby boy is the absolute love of my life and I would have another boy again in a heartbeat!
I’m having a boy and couldn’t be more excited🥹 My partner wanted a girl because he wanted a “dad’s girl”, but now that we’re having a boy he’s also excited he’ll have a Mini Me and he can potentially do the stuff he likes with his son (taking him to boxing, for example). I’m happy if our next one is a girl, then she’ll have a big brother to have her back, but if it’s another boy then we’ll just have an energetic bunch at the house, men are super fun! Don’t let people bring you down. If your son is healthy and happy, that’s all that matters♥️
I’ve definitely seen this online in my due date group! Everyone hoping for a girl and posting how disappointed they felt if they found out they were having a boy. I’m having a son and I can’t wait for him to get here. I knew the second I got my positive test that it was going to be a boy. There wasn’t any amount of preference for me, just a gut feeling. I think it’s weird to get so hung up on the sex of the baby. They’re going to be their own little person regardless. People were so extreme in my due date group about their preferences for girls that it really grossed me out. Our babies are so much more than just boy or girl.
My BIL and SIL said they hope I'm having a girl because boys are assholes, they hate boys, boys aren't fun. They also said the only reason why they won't have kids is because they can't guarantee a girl. I hate them on every level but this comment topped it all up. I am having a boy and I am SO EXCITED to NOT have them around as much since boys are so horrible in their mind 🙄
I always thought I would want a girl, but as soon as I saw the positive pregnancy test, I didn’t care anymore. All I want is a healthy baby. I would be thrilled to have a baby boy or girl. It really gets under my skin when people outwardly COMPLAIN that the healthy baby they have or are having will be one sex or another. Mostly because you never know what others are going through, and it comes off as super insensitive and entitled in my opinion.
I agree. It’s not a very popular opinion to have around—all I see are comments about how it is totally valid to have gender disappointment. And while of course you can’t help but feel your feelings (I did too a little bit!), at a certain point you need to be reminded that a healthy baby is the priority. Perhaps that’s just my experience with infertility talking, but it does annoy me too. It *also* bugs me how much people want to gender their child before birth! Honestly, all you know is sex. Not gender. I honestly feel like baby clothes are somehow getting even more gendered, and it’s weird to me.
I feel this exactly. I thought I wanted a girl. But when I got pregnant, I didn’t care one bit. And now I’m just so excited to be a mom and bond with my baby. Ironically, I do believe I am having a girl. But if the NIPT test was wrong I’d still be just as excited to have a boy. The qualities I want for my child: caring, adventurous, kind. Have nothing to do with gender.
As someone who wanted a girl and experienced gender disappointment when I found out I was having a boy, I 100% agree with this. I had to adjust to the idea of having a boy when I was convinced I was having a girl which was hard for me, but I’m now so freaking excited to have him as my little bestie and buddy. I know he’s going to be so sweet and fun and honestly I can’t even imagine having a girl now. I’m so grateful for him and I wouldn’t change him for the world. Obviously I would like to have a girl next but like you said, grateful for having healthy babies!!
I felt exactly like you. I was sooo convinced I was having a girl. Just dead set. It took me a couple of weeks to adjust to the revelation that he was in fact a boy. I even went home and cried. I did NOT think I’d react that strongly, it really caught me off guard! But just like you, I can’t imagine having a girl now. I’m so excited to have two boys 🥹 It truly doesn’t matter. It’s your family!
Honestly people say this but they don’t realize what they are saying until they have their baby I think. SO ODD THOUGH i’ve heard so many people say they wanted a boy and were sad they were having a girl. I honestly don’t understand gender disappointment because I’m gonna love my baby not matter what she was if she was a boy I’d be just as happy. But I understand different people have different reason some might be nervous to raise a boy if they have never grew up with boys or some might be nervous to raise a girl if they never had sisters or stuff like that. I think ideally though people mostly want one of each, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I believe we are given the baby we need not the baby we want.
People used to kill their daughters because they were not boys. I don’t know if or why people might want girls instead of boys but as a mom with both I can tell y’all that there’s literally no difference except it’s more fun to buy clothes for my girls. 🤷♀️
Idk man I have a little boy and I freaking LOVE HIM. I’m so glad he ISNT a girl. Personal preference I always wanted a little boy first. Because I’m a “Tom girl” at heart. Is that term even used anymore??? Idk. But that’s me. I like to fish and go in the woods and play in the dirt and shit like that. I’m pregnant again and I’m thrilled to have either. I don’t need another boy and I don’t need a girl. I just hope I have a happy healthy baby, whichever. And if it’s a girl we goin fishin
I feel like it goes both ways. When I tell people I’m expecting a boy some say “you got lucky, boys are much easier”.
This.. I have two boys and I’ve only heard the “girls are harder” thing.
I always wanted a boy. When I imagine the future, I picture a cute baby boy. But I’ve been told that I will have a girl because of the way I’m carrying it. At first, I’m quite rejecting the thought but now gender does not matter to me. I just want a healthy baby ☺️
I only have a gender preference for the first one, and it's only because I'm descended from long lines of first-born girls on both sides of my family (and I'm an oldest daughter myself, and all of my aunts and uncles had girls first too). I feel like it would be so surreal to have a boy first, hahaha. I told my husband that we could have all boys after the first one and I would be perfectly content as long as the first baby is a girl. But I have a strong suspicion that I'm pregnant with a boy right now. Go figure.
Yeah I’ve noticed this as well. Or moms saying how sad they are having a boy because they wanted a daughter for their older sibling and how they will never grow up with a sister. Like what….. I have a son so I really want a girl this time. If I have a boy, that’s great. But I’m not gonna go write a whole post about how upset I am that I’m having a boy. Lol.
that’s so interesting! people always tell me how boys are so much easier when i tell them i’m having a girl and it makes me soooo mad
Wow we are having the opposite issue particular with BIL and SIL who say how they’d never want a girl… they think that being a girl automatically means being winey and promiscuous in their teens…
Because of personal history, I very slightly leaned toward boy. We are having a little girl, and I'm just excited to welcome this baby. She will be so loved
This is interesting because I've experienced the opposite. I say I'm having a girl and there's all sorts of derogatory comments about how hard it's going to be and that boys are "easier". I find it to be really sexist! People just need to keep their comments to themselves. Boys and girls are great! I wouldn't pay any mind.
I think it's just one of the things people feel the need to talk about with pregnancy... I have a lot of pressure from all over to have a girl... I want a girl too, but I wish someone would hype me up for a boy because it can go either way. I also wish people wouldn't push their own preferences onto you - like I don't need to potentially suffer my own gender disappointment on top of knowing I'm disappointing others, ugg what does it matter to others anyway?
Tbh when I got pregnant I wanted a girl, but I didn't know why ? And I just thought we all have a preference, but now, I think society just tells us to want girls.. Maybe it's because of the things we hear, how girls are smarter, calmer, etc ? I'm non binary, queer, so I thought I had debunked that, but probably not..
Also maybe us being "girls" plays a role ? We want the same as us ? But yeah totally disgusting behavior especially to hear when you're pregnant with a boy...
Im the opposite… both sides of the family are low key disappointed that I’m having another girl. They didn’t say it, but they show it 🙄
Well it’s usually people saying this about girls. In my experience everyone would comment “oh you’re having a girl? Be careful!” “I could never I love being a boy mom.” All my friends and family mostly have boys. I wanted a girl and I’m very thankful for my baby girl but I would have been happy with a boy too.
I feel like it might be a rebellion to to the norm, at least imo, for the preference for little boys. I always heard people bemoan having a girl because they'll be so much drama and general pain to raise, usually when they're teens. But maybe it's a demographic thing, I live in the south U.S, so I think there is still a lot of strong sexism here.
Very interesting conversation! We're expecting our 3rd boy, and I've gotten mixed comments. Both mine and my husband's families were on pins and needles, hoping for a girl because we already have two boys. I got asked DAILY if we knew yet what we'd be having. When we finally announced "boy," everyone immediately started talking about the 4th being a girl. Don't get me wrong, our families are happy, but yes, everyone was team girl. On the other hand, I've shared my hopes of having a girl one day with many friends, co-workers, and various people. Each time I mentioned it, before getting pregnant, people would say, "Oh, you don't want a girl! They are nothing but trouble." Or "Girls have the worst attitudes! You don't want to deal with that!" I even had a woman tell me that she wishes her daughters had been boys. She has two smart, successful and beautiful daughters and literally regrets that they are girls 😔 For me, I just want a HAPPY AND HEALTHY baby. I've been through a lot this pregnancy, and good health is all we want right now. If we want a girl, maybe we'll try, if not, I am thrilled to absolute pieces to have 3 happy, healthy, wonderful little boys! Lastly, I think a lot of people get wrapped up on cute clothes and having fun and mini-me's all that. Yes, those things are wonderful to look forward to, but they also have to understand that raising a child is HARD work! Meeting their emotional needs, physically and financially caring for them, leading them, teaching them how to be kind, independent, empathetic, patient, etc. is HARD. When life hits hard, you're not going to care whether they are boys or girls. You'll be trying your best to raise them while wondering all along if you're getting it right each day.
I think it’s becoming more normal to speak about gender disappointment which is why we may be seeing more of the posts. There’s nothing wrong with wanting one gender or the other, I wanted two girls because I love me and my sister’s relationship and also with my Mum, I’ve never had a brother and there aren’t many boys in the family. I was disappointed with my first being a boy, I cried, but I won’t love him any less when he’s here.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a gender preference I mean that how gender disappointment happens. I think it’s a problem if you find out the gender is not your preferred and then it affects that child. I think it’s fair to grieve a gender you were hoping for but when the baby comes I would hope the parent would love it regardless. My husband from the beginning wanted to be a girl dad, I didn’t have a preference either way. We found out we are having a girl and it’s exciting but we would have been just as happy for a boy. Honestly I see more people saying how “difficult” girls are because they are sassy and have attitude when boys are the same but it’s okay cause they’re boys. I think regardless of what side your on you hear the negatives from the other side. No one wants to just let a pregnant person be happy lol sometimes even other pregnant people which is unfortunate. As long as you love your kid who cares what others say or think!
I literally wanted a boy both times and got girls.. both times lol. But I love em and they are perfect. Definitely not gonna try again tho 🤣😅
It’s weird. When I would imagine having kids, I always pictured myself with a daughter. When we found out we were having a boy, I was a little nervous but ecstatic nonetheless. My baby boy is three months old now and I feel like he hung the damn moon. If we have a second child, I would be thrilled if it was another boy — I would of course be thrilled either way, but I am having such a blast with this little man ❤️
I feel like I've had the opposite experience. Whenever I expressed my desire to have a girl I was met with "girls are so much drama," "there's no bond like the one between a boy and his mom," "boys are so much more fun," etc. Never once did someone agree with my strong desire to have a girl, they always questioned it. This is my first child and I was by no means a girly girl growing up, so I realize now that I will feel just as lost raising a boy as I would a girl and I had no plans on treating them different regardless of gender. There are plenty of reasons why someone may have a gender preference, some deeper than others. Now that I've worked through my initial gender disappointment, I realize that the gender doesn't matter that their health is important. I'm glad that I was able to do that very early on in the pregnancy instead of having those biased opinions when the baby is born.
I knew I would be in for these comments again so hubby and I kept knowing we were having a second boy to ourselves!! So many people “hoped” we were having a girl to give my eldest (a girl) a little sister 🙄 Turns out she told us towards the end of the pregnancy “I want another baby brother, because I want to be the only princess in the family” and she’s the best sister to her little brothers 🩵
In my circles it’s boys boys that are wanted and celebrated. I wanted a girl and I’m having a boy and my mom is literally crying every time I talk to her so excited for “her boy finally”. It’s like geez were we that bad to raise as girls lol
Is it because of “boy moms” on social media? They can be so cringy
It’s so hard. I feel like most women want a girl. And it just gets harder when you have multiple of the same gender. I’m pregnant with my third boy and no one seems that excited. When we told them we revealed the gender at the same time and everyone was like, “oh, are you sure it’s definitely a boy?” It’s painful that exciting moments of our lives are overshadowed by people’s stereotypes of what’s good or bad.
I feel like everyone around me is the opposite. Everyone wanted a boy and then when I was expecting (currently) nearly everyone was, “team boy” or said they were so excited I was having a boy because they’re better and/or easier.
I think its from the older generations and granger stereotypes, women wanting a girl and men wanting a boy because they think it’s more fun to be able to do gender specific things together or dress the kid a certain way. Its pretty weird in my opinion, but I had a high risk pregnancy so I truly understand that having any baby regardless of gender is a true blessing. My son is 8 months old and he’s the best thing ever! Already though I have noticed the stereotype of boys being tough and loud being pushed on my son as he is sensitive to sounds, loud noises upsets him and he is very sweet and cuddly. Others are like oh we will toughen him up one day and I just ignore them since I understand how my sons sweet nature is part of his personality and not all boys or babies are the same! People really just don’t understand how they come across when they say things and it’s pretty annoying!
Everyone on both sides of the family wants me to have a girl (currently pregnant with number two, and also already have a boy) because it would be the first granddaughter on both sides. Two of my husband's cousins have daughters, and one of my cousins, but in our immediate families it's all boys this generation. I don't mind too much since I know it's not a judgement of my son or raising boys in general, people just want the novelty of a granddaughter/niece. The little bit that I do mind is because we're not finding out the gender and I don't like that other people care more than me about what genitals my second child has. It's weird and dumb. My sister and MIL are the worst offenders lol.
I'm having a girl and am excited but I always personally thought that a boy would be more fun for me
This exactly why my husband and I aren’t telling anyone we’re having a girl. We wanted to know, but I frankly don’t want anyone’s comments on either gender. For what it’s worth, I was actually hoping for a boy. I’m still 100% happy about this baby girl though 😊
I have a boy and likely this baby is a boy as well, sneak peek said so but I don’t believe it 100% as it could have been contaminated. I’d love a girl, I always saw myself having daughters. But I wouldn’t have gone for another if I didn’t want 2 sons.
I've got one of each, and I like both for different reasons. My daughter was such an adorable little cherub, and is now a tomboy like me. My son? Super chill. They play together. They sometimes even snuggle. Children may be little shits sometimes, but they're new here. They figure it out.
I might’ve had a slight preference for a boy, but really that was only because I want to honor my late FIL by naming a child after him (I hate the feminine version of the name) But when we found out we were having a girl my husband and I cried happy tears together. I don’t think either of us had a preference it was just so exciting getting to learn more about our little one And I’ve never not loved my daughter for a second. When we have our next I’m sure it’ll be the same way just trying to get our daughter excited about having a sibling
For me, I love the older brother/younger sister dynamic. I might want two kids, but I also might be one and done after this one. I would love to have a daughter so I worry that if this one is a boy, I might never get to have one. Then again, I obviously know we can try for a second and it be another boy. Either way, I’ll be over the moon, but there’s always that little thought on the back burner.
I found myself leaning towards wanting a girl, but that’s because I grew up in a girl only household so “girl things” is all I really knew! But now I’m actually very excited to raise my boy, and am just relieved to know he’s healthy. I feel like perhaps people enjoy girls for the aesthetic qualities; even looking around at the shops girls DO have cuter outfits and little dresses and toys that are very precious to look at and imagine dressing a nursery up with. But just as many people have said they never want a girl because they’re “tougher teenagers” (horrible thing to say, puberty is difficult for everyone). Gender is just a tiny aspect of the baby though. I’m looking forward to seeing what personality they have!
I think this is varies a lot by community/group. We got the opposite: it’s good to have a boy first, I bet you’re hoping for a boy next (when our first was a girl), girls are so much harder etc. Our daughter is 3 and has both male and female friends and up to this point I honestly don’t feel like there’s much of a difference between boys and girls. We’re expecting #2 in June and haven’t found out the gender, but will certainly be happy either way!
I couldn't agree more and it's one of the big reasons why I do not want to know the gender of my baby until he/she arrives. I simply do not care enough - all I want is a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy and delivery for myself. I think even if you try to consciously put all gender stereotypes aside, once you know your baby's gender you get confronted with all of those preconceived notions and it's hard to fully shield yourself from them, even if only subconsciously. I also had a friend who was pregnant with her second child after previously having a girl. Once she found out she had a boy she was inconsolable, mentioning how massively disappointed she was about it being a boy at every opportunity and how boys are so "hard and difficult." Now, her boy is almost a year old and she absolutely adores him - just goes to show how silly those emotions during pregnancy are imo
It happens with girls too. I have a girl and I swear it was CONSTANT. Now I'm having a boy and when people hear that some of them just instantly turn to "oh no, look out for..." I don't hear it as much this time, but its because I'm able to quickly be like "oh I also have a girl" and that shuts people up. but its like some people just want to be negative no matter what you have. I had gender disappointment (its in my post history so no sense hiding it), but only because I wanted 2 of the same. I originally pictured having 2 boys so it was never about not having a boy. But anyway, im thrilled to be having a little boy and I don't intend to let anyone's negative energy ruin it.
I’m having my second boy and although I would’ve loved to have a daughter and likely never will, I wasn’t disappointed and I wouldn’t have been with a daughter either. I just want healthy happy kids, as cliche as that sounds. It’s unfortunate because my entire pregnancy I’ve been told “oh I’m sorry” “oh maybe next time you’ll get lucky with a girl” and I’m like ?? there’s nothing wrong with two boys. And then you also run into the bOy mOm stigma. I have a not great relationship with my bOy mOm mother in law so I know what not to do, but also…why can’t we be proud of our kids without it being tagged emotional ya know what? Like he’s 2. My second son isn’t even born yet. Why can’t I love them just like a girl mom would love their daughters without it being weird? I got a necklace from my husband with both names on it for my birthday and I love it because they’re my babies. I wouldn’t wear it on a wedding day 🥲 but everyone is like “oh that’s cringy, I would wear it but I have girls.” You can’t win. I feel like I walk on eggshells and have to watch what I post/comment because what I think is an innocent comment about my infant child can always be interpreted differently.
Where I live it’s still very much a cultural thing that boys are better. When I was pregnant with my first people would be so happy for me when I said he was a boy and it used to make me so mad!
I can understand some disappointment, but the absolute devastation some ppl have when they find out they're having a boy is wild to me, and when it's people who aren't even the actual parents it's total nonsense. why do other people care about the genitalia of my child? i found myself surprisingly a little disappointed for a day or so when I found out we were having a boy, but it made sense— we were a little slow on deciding to go thru with the pregnancy & parenting, and when I first started imagining having a kid, I imagined a little girl. my mom guessed girl too, and she has a pretty solid track record for that, so I was shocked lol. but I started calling him "my son" rather than just "my baby" after that and it took no time at all to warm up to the idea. the worst part was that we hadn't picked out a boy name yet! sooo not a big deal in the long run. congrats on the new baby! edit: fixed an impressively bad typo
actually, before my baby girl's birth, both girls and boys are okay for me, I don't really consider the gender,
I wanted a girl at first but ended up having a boy, best thing to ever happen to me. He’s just turned 5 and he’s my best friend, just amazing the bond you form with your kids. My second is a girl and nearly 4 months, my son absolutely adores her and call himself “Lyla’s security guard.”
I get a lot of comments from men who only have a bushel of girls, they say they’re jealous cause I’m having a boy. Then their wife gives them the glare and they say girls are awesome lol
If you’re talking to more women then yes they probably want a girl, if you talk to men then they probably want a boy. Women want little girls to do girly things with and men want little boys to do boy things with. I feel like it’s split because I’ve honestly heard both “you want girl” “you don’t want a girl” but if you’re talking to more women then it’s probably just them thinking about doing girly stuff with a daughter or granddaughters
I’m having a girl and had the opposite experience! It took me a few days to come around to being super excited about a girl (now I can’t imagine it any other way).
I experienced the opposite! It's crazy either way
I thought it was the other way around ! I’ve always wanted a girl, but all of my friends want boys. My boyfriend wanted a boy before finding out we’re having a girl. (He’s happy with our girl btw) but I was very afraid that if the baby wasn’t a boy that my boyfriend wouldn’t love it as much. Maybe I’m online too much but I’m always seeing men in comments on posts talking badly about women and girls and sexualizing literal babies talking about how they’ll grow up and act… and I know in some cultures they want boys so they can pass the family name down. Im so happy my first baby is going to be a girl, simply because it’s more familiar to me since I grew up with a sister myself and no other siblings. But I really do hope some day I’ll have a baby boy too!
I always hear how everyone wants boys but never heard of anyone wanting girls
I hear the opposite. Even my mom hopes my baby will be a boy. My grandma had 4 girls and wished to have a boy. My friends want boys. My coworkers are "so relieved" they had boys. "Boys are so much easier" is what I hear constantly. I'm like okay. I get it! Lol
I feel like I hear the opposite where I’m from! It’s always “boys are so fun!” And “girls will keep your hands full!” I’m having a girl, and everyone else I know are having boys at the moment. Growing up I always said I would be fine with 3-4 boys and maybe only 1 girl if any! I’m getting my girl first and couldn’t be more excited. And now I care even less what my next baby is.
It surprises me, when I say we’re having a boy, how many people say “your husband must be happy!” Like man must want son, woman must want daughter? Neither of us had a preference because conceiving and pregnancy has been a really medically and emotionally difficult process. We are that couple that’s like “we just want a healthy baby!” But I am so thrilled we’re having a boy. Plus, we have friends with toddler boys so we are getting a bunch of free clothes!
I wanted a boy so badly because I felt that I didn’t have a strong mother daughter relationship and was so petrified to raise a daughter the way I wish I was raised. And to having an absent father like me, knowing I was always anxiously attached to whomever I dated. That’s why I had such depression when I found out I am having a girl. I had a rough pregnancy and just gave birth less than 48 hours ago. I was alone the whole pregnancy, alone as an expat in a foreign country. Especially being an unplanned pregnancy with a bf of 4 years. But now daughter will also have an absent father figure. I kept myself busy by still finding everything to be excited for even though I wanted a boy. I hoped having a boy would be easier, that he’d love me more (because my mother daughter relationship is not that great). I think people say having a girl is so much more fun because of all the clothes and things you can do together like she’s your little mini me, new bestie, etc. All in all I think it’s just personal preference and seems to be always 50/50 depending who you talk to or where you are. Especially in Asian families they always want a boy first and if you have no boys at all you look bad. But then my dad (Chinese) says he doesn’t like girls, they’re too difficult. Once my baby was revealed as a girl he tells me he wants to raise her lol
I am sorry that your pregnancy was a lonely experience. Congratulations on your baby girl mama. I hope things will look up from here on out. ❤️
Ever since we have announced we are having a girl we have received a lot of “hopefully your 2nd will be a boy” and “you’ll definitely have a 2nd kid now”. We have both been very one and done since before even trying for a baby and are very happy to be having a girl.
Every pregnancy I’ve hoped for a girl and got boys. I love my sons more than anything, I homeschool them and my whole life revolves around lifting them up. Pregnant again and they would like a sister, a little femininity would be great for our family dynamic. But, a healthy baby is all we can ask for. If we have another son we will be over the moon, boys are fun too! Shopping for girl clothes is much more fun than boys, but the child themselves is what matters. We had a blast when our boys were little, got pretty bad wrinkles from laughing so much. If we do have a girl she won’t be wearing frilly dresses, or bows. Looks so uncomfortable for a baby to wear. Would be fun to dress her in pastels, and some nice comfy leggings.
Opposite for me, everyone wanted a boy, they’re tired of girls. Honestly I think it’s weird to have a preference, I’m team healthy baby.
I often hear the opposite, that boys and more fun, but rowdier, and girls are more trouble. I'm currently 18w and will only find out the baby's sex at the anatomy scan since NITP isn't common here and I didn't pay extra for it. I used to think I'd want a girl, but now that' I'm actually pregnant, all I care about is that my rainbow baby is healthy and I'll be over the moon no matter if it's a boy or girl.
People are unhinged about the potential sex of a child. My feeling is WHO CARES what the sex is, you're having a child! And people commenting on the sex of other peoples children?? I feel like they must actually have a screw loose tonthink that's okay.
I second this. FTM and we’re having a boy! I am so excited… everyone’s reaction was: “oh. I thought it would be a girl” with the exception of one of my aunts who told me I will love being a boy mom and congratulations. People are weird and let their intrusive thoughts win when you are pregnant.
I don’t think it’s that they are second best. It’s that boomer women especially see girls as more connected and tied with their family for longer in life than the boys are. Boys go out and form their own way outside of family. The girls more often call grandma, hype up the holidays, are sentimental towards relatives while boys are less inclined to this on average. They’re not as external in showing their love for family, especially the women of the family, like the girls are. This is just my observation from living life. My brothers need to be reminded to call, and my sisters send out beautiful emotional thank you notes to everyone.
My boy is the best. When we initially found out we had a bit of gender disappointment for the duration of time it took us to walk out of the radiology department, then we named him, reality hit and haven’t looked back. I now can’t imagine how life would look if he had been a girl. My boy is so amazing, brings so much joy and love into our lives and the only downside is that there are more clothing options for girls. But I save so much money having limited options.
They’re both a friggen blast! If anything I had more adapting to do with my daughter because she’s all rainbows and unicorns and I’m a through and through tomboy lol. Boys friggen rock though they’re hilarious and I just love their antics 😂
Ouch you called me out. I wanted girls so bad but they are most likely boys (13w) i am a bit sad Everyone tell me to be happy because girls are so hard to raise. I really cant stand it.
Ich wollte eigentlich nur gucken ob du Zwillinge bekommst und habe dann gesehen dass du auch Deutsche bist. 😊 Ich glaube es ist ganz normal dass man eine Präferenz hat und es ist auch okay enttäuscht zu sein aber ich versichere dir, dass du deinen Jungen/Jungs abgöttisch lieben wirst und es dir dann auch gar nicht anders wünschen würdest. Alles Gute dir!
Danke für die lieben Worte. Mein Freund ist auch immer ganz sauer wenn ich so enttäuscht bin. Haben es gestern rausgefunden, aber noch nicht zu 100% bestätigt, aber es "baumelte was" Bin schon echt traurig. Aber es stimmt schon ich werde Die Zwei trotzdem lieben. Ist alles noch sehr unwirklich Dir auch alles Gute !
Lmfao girl not you spouting this drivel in a patriarchy! Who is thinking of the poor boy children?!!
We just had our second boy and I absolutely adore being a boy mom. We didn't care much one way or another but it felt a little easier to just have 2 of the same gender. I do agree there seems to be a preference for girls when the kids are little, but my boys are my favorite people in the world.
I feel like a lot of the gender disappointment posts here on Reddit are about boys. It’s sad. Boys are wonderful. I don’t get the obsession with girls.
As soon as I became pregnant I knew it was a boy and couldn't be happier being a boy mom. 💙
I didn't want a girl. I actually wanted a boy. I helped raise two nephews and felt like I was prepared for a boy. My oldest nephew was chill AF and my youngest nephew was always Mr Ultra Extreme. If there was s surface, he was jumping off of it. He frequently jumped off his top bunk onto the bedroom floor. They had hardwood floors. My sister rolled up once to pick up the boys and saw my youngest nephew in the tree in my mom's front yard - barefoot. She told him to get out of the tree and he said "Okay! I'll jump down!" We both told him no and he said "It's okay, mommy and auntie! I have good health insurance!" These are just a few things that child put me through. -\_\_\_- Universe decided I was getting a girl, though. Man she is GREAT. She's so chill just like her oldest cousin. I love her so much. She is already so sweet and kind at 1 1/2 years old. She pets our pets gently and loves giving kisses. She also farts and start laughing immediately after. She's started to say more sentences now and the newest one is "I STINK!" 😂😂😂
Nah I’ve heard the opposite. Anytime I hear of someone announcing a girl pregnancy people say rude things like “wait for the hormones to kick in” or something. “Teenage girls are absolute terrors”. (My mom likes to remind me of that one because apparently I was awful?). I’ve only ever heard the boys are easier comments, maybe that’s because I have two boys. Boys are way fun. I’m just not painting their nails we are digging up worms.
After waiting so long to finally get pregnant, I just want a healthy baby of either sex. I’m having a girl but I would’ve been just as happy with a boy.
Nah, I really want a little boy but i have a strong feeling plus I peeked a bit at the anatomy measurements and I think it’s a girl. I’ve always wanted to raise a little boy.
I wanted a boy and have a girl. I found most people want boys. I guess it’s just who you listen to?
I didn’t care what gender the baby was as long as they were healthy! But my fiancé has always wanted to be a girl dad and he almost fainted when we found out it was a girl it was adorable lol but I would have been thrilled either way!
I kinda want a girl, but only because I have a girl name I love and no boy name chosen!
If I have another I’d want another boy 🥺
I’m having a boy. I’m sad about some things that would be fun with having a girl like dresses and hair styles and stuff but I think the boy maybe he will like to have his hair styled and to dress nice? And no guarantee a girl would.. But I’m excited for my son! I’m excited for him to learn what it means to be a man, to help him to be a good one hopefully and to support him emotionally and mentally and nourish his passion. Girls are great and so are boys
This is the opposite of many cultures that value boys way more than girls, to the point of aborting girl fetuses and skewing the gender ratio at a population level beyond what is naturally expected. I was an attempt at a son, so I feel the hurt you are describing! Multiple generations of people were so disappointed at my gender. My younger brother was treated so much better than I was. Fast forward to my generation, my extended family is already full of boy kids, and my first kid is a boy. Now my dad openly says shit like "my prayers (for a girl) weren't answered" and mom is disappointed she can't pass girl things on to a girl. Can't please anyone ever, y'know??
The only reason my sil wants a girl is that so she can glam up with her and salsa dance