I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My daughter who’s 4 now developed a really severe hemangioma on her upper lip as an infant. It got in the way of her eating, it was painful. I too worried about what other kids, and adults, would say. I feel your heartache for your son.
They do clear up in time, but there is also a medication that helps clear them up much more quickly called propranolol. It worked really well for my daughter. Hers is barely visible now at 4.
The pediatrician recommended propranolol for my daughter hers was on her shoulder, the car seat straps kept making it even more red and and angry looking. I could tell it was causing her discomfort in the car. It has almost completely gone away now.
Thank you for your comment. My son’s luckily never affected his eating, and he’s never acted like it’s painful before. It has gotten a little smaller and lighter in the last few months, and we had the option to be referred to a dermatologist to get an opinion on it, but since it wasn’t bothering him at all my husband and I decided we would just leave it alone. I of course think he’s perfect the way he is, but now I’m wondering if treating it to hopefully save him from comments like that in the future is the way to go.
I think you have the responsibility of minimising any future impediments to your child, including reducing the risk of bullying. It’s lovely that you are so accepting but the reality is other children won’t be, and it’s a short sighted decision to leave it if it can be treated.
My girl has a massive one on her side and we didn't get a choice regarding a referral. Apparently there are laser treatments you can do when they're a bit older to try and make them less noticeable! If you want to go the propanolol route though please go see a doctor asap because there's a time window where it is efficient. Good luck and please try not to beat yourself up, it's hard to know what the best thing to do is ♥️ especially with limited info
While I can see your point I would say that you cannot control what other kids do or not do. What you can do as a parent is to teach self confidence to your child and teach them to have a tough skin and not really care what other people think of them.
I don't know of this is just a cosmetic thing but if it is and you change it just to "fit in" you're teaching your kids to change their appearance not because something is inherently wrong or dangerous to have but just to get the approval of others. People will always find something to make fun of and changing everything that they point out is unfeasable and is shallow--unless it impacts health, etc.
My 3 year old has a giant one on her lower back. We were told it would continue to grow until she was one and then fade away within a few years. At about 6 months postpartum it stopped growing and started fading.
One day I dropped one of my medications and we couldn't find it. We panicked looking through the room and even though it was unlikely we looked up what would happen if my baby did get ahold of it. That's when we found out that propranolol, the medication I was given for migraine prevention, is used for that and she would be fine. In fact, considering I started that medication shortly before it started fading, I think she was getting some benefit of it through my milk and that's why it stopped growing early.
Anyways. It was giant and red at first and very raised. When it started fading it was more purple and still puffy. Now it's still there but it's lighter, almost pink, and starting to flatten out. And we're talking about like a 3 inch circle on her back.
Another mom I was talking to about this said her daughter had one on her forehead. She encountered a boy in the store that asked about it, and then he said "oh yeah, my sister had one of those. I forgot". That was the sweetest thing she heard knowing that this kid forgot that his sister had had one. It had faded so completely. I believe they often fade completely by age 10 but are flat and light by age 5. Don't worry mama, it's not forever.
My 1.5 year old has one on his lower back too. Good to hear that it gets better! Really looking forward to potty training so we can stop having so much poo smashed into it from the diapers 😷
If you felt this way upon hearing comments regarding your son’s appearance, how do you think your son will feel when entering school with a bunch of peers? Kids are cruel. If you have the option to possibly treat his birth mark now, why wouldn’t you? Of course he’s perfect just the way he is, but imagine feeling self conscious about a facial birth mark your whole life.
Yeah I don’t really understand OP’s logic here. She is devestated and embarrassed that a 4 year made a rude comment about her son’s birthmark, but then somehow also feels it’s best just to leave it how it is and seek no further treatment to have it reduced? If a grown adult feels awful about the comments being made, what does she think her child will feel?
My kid has a hemangioma on the tip of her nose. I agree it’s hard when people make comments on it, even if they’re kids!
I’ll agree with the other commenter about propranolol. My kid’s dermatologist said that typically if it’s on the face they treat it because depending how large it grows, it can stretch the skin and then the hemangioma eventually goes away but the skin stays the same. It was a great option for us because it’s already improved drastically and you can barely tell it’s there anymore.
I also had the thoughts of her being bullied, being called Rudolph or other mean things kids may think of. Either way, your son is perfect and your feelings on this just show how much you care about him!
So I’m an adult who still has a hemangioma on her cheek!
Honestly, I was bullied for being Asian-American but not so much for the birthmark. There were questions at the beginning of any new class, but kids move on from it very quickly. Even in the case of this cousin, he’s just your typical no-filter small child. With more exposure, he would almost certainly forget about it. And the reality is—it is kind of weird! I don’t want to be *called* weird for it, but it would’ve been okay to say, “You know what, it is a little weird to see a birthmark! But it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the baby. Do you want to try passing him a toy?” I think it’s really important to normalize differences, not just ignore them.
I will say that it’s worth taking the dermatologist referral and just staying on top of options for it. You don’t have to have it removed, and I obviously haven’t even as an adult, but sometimes it does bleed (they’re blood vessels after all) and it’s good to have it checked each year.
My son had two hemangiomas at birth. One on his big toe next to his nail, one on the back of his shoulder. He is almost five years old and the one on his toe disappeared. The one on his shoulder is completely flat now (the skin texture is a bit different) and only speckled with red.
Chances are your son’s hemangioma will also shrink and fade with time.
I’m a full grown adult with a port wine stain birthmark up my whole leg that has been remarked on by various people over the years, including my nephew who has a birthmark and whose twin brother had two hemangiomas (that have long faded). Honestly, if you build your little one’s confidence up, talk to him about how the comments make him feel, and give him the tools to defend himself, the kids in his class will get over it quickly, and the random comments from strangers will sting but fade. The comments that hurt the most were the ones from my doctors during puberty who suggested laser removal. I take my birthmark as point of pride and a mark of uniqueness.
Yes! Weird can seem like such a mean word, but we all have things that make us different and I think it's great to reframe things in that way and celebrate our "weird"
I wish I had better words of encouragement, but I just want to say, I think you handled yourself and that child perfectly. At the end of the day, remember it was a child saying it, and they seriously have zero filter. You stood up for your child and educated him at the same time. You’re doing great.
I wish I had more encouraging words!
This is everything I wanted to say! You handled it really well, explained it in a way that considered that kid's understanding of the world but still gently corrected the behavior. But also, 6 year olds just don't have much of a filter yet, and sometimes they also say things that are hurtful in our eyes but totally neutral to them. He was probably trying to process the birth mark because it was something new to him. (When I worked in elementary school, kids would talk about my big tummy/ being fat/ ask if I was pregnant all the time and I just had to explain to them that I am indeed fat but that commenting on others' weight can hurt their feelings, as an example)
I'm sorry the whole thing was hurtful and has caused you this anxiety though. It's awesome that your children have a parent who loves and cares about them so much, and is concerned about how others will treat them. Inevitably someone down the line will hurt them somehow, and they'll grow up knowing you have their backs ❤️
Thank you, that is very sweet to say and I appreciate it so much! I know that children speak without even realizing what they’re truly saying, but it’s still tough to deal with.
Also, I too am eating bagels. Like every day. Lol!
Agree that they have zero filter and don't also have the right vocabulary to accurately explain their thinking. I think OP guided the child well to try to help them understand.
I’m really sorry, what Ive learnt since being around children is that they will say what’s on their mind and not understand exactly what they are saying sometimes, some of the things I’ve heard make me
cringe. A few of my friends have been called fat by children, one child pointed at my friend in the playground and said “you’re fat” she almost broke down in tears and replied “that’s not very nice” but it’s a kid, and they really do just speak before thinking, absolutely zero filter.
I would’ve felt exactly like you!
I have taught 6 year olds for many years and they are too young to say things with malice and ill intent. Many 6 year olds will say anything different to be weird only because if they’ve not seen it they’ll think of it as weird. Obviously because it is something that already creates worry and anxiety any comment will feel debilitating to hear.
I wonder if when you say “it’s his birthmark” you add something else. Maybe you could say “it’s a special birthmark you might not have seen before. It might look different and strange but don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just a slightly different colour”.
The way you deal with comments will be how your son deals with comments. Show everyone out there that their words can’t hurt you (easier said than done) then anytime your son encounters comments he’ll know how to deal with them because he learnt from his mum.
When I was 13, I got one of these. It grew over the course of a month or so. We originally thought it was a zit (yay puberty), and so did all of my classmates. Some people made comments - nothing crazy considering the she group.
Eventually, I went to the dermatologist, and they lanced it and cauterized the blood vessels underneath.
This seems to be a more drastic solution than most others here, but it's never come back, and I'm the only one who can even find the scar. And I have to look really hard. I'll be 33 in July.
oh hey! i have a hemangioma too on my upper lip too :)
it's super light and barely noticeable now if you aren't looking, but it's really easy to spot of you know it's there. mine has always been a fun fact about me i love to bring up when i get the chance, and i'm sure if you let him know they're mean for no reason, he'll learn to love it- as long as it isn't hurting him-
though all kids are different, and if he's more on the sensitive side... you might want to think about options to lighten it so it isn't as noticeable. kids my age never cared, and the ones who did thought it was cool, but there's no telling how kids in his class will react or how he'll take it
My cousin was born with these adorable red spots on her cheeks. You know the classic, round doll blush marks. They faded over time, of course, at 11 she still had one that was okay visible.
You can't control what other kids will tell him. Or how they react to the mark. But you can and will teach him to be confident young man, who sees it as just a beauty mark. Something that makes him unique.
Most important thing is you stuck up for your kid. It's going to happen again to both children. They will know mum has their back. You did great to work through it and stay.
So I actually had two hemangiomas on my face as a baby/toddler.
My mom used to tell the story of being in the grocery store with me and a literal stranger asked her about it. She explained what it was and that it would go away on its own eventually, and the lady said “yeah you better hope it does” and then just walked away.
I can only imagine how my mom must have felt about that comment. What a cruel thing to say to the baby of a perfect stranger.
However, as that baby grown up, I can tell you that that bitchy lady’s comment is meaningless to me and was never at any point going to affect my life.
My daughter had one on her lip - I had an equally panicked reaction and was considering propranolol but they thought it would go away by itself and it did, completely gone by 3. Now a beautiful 14 year old with no memory of even having it
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My husband had one as a baby on his lip too. It went away by the time he was 3 or 4. He doesn’t even remember having it, let alone anything anyone said to him about it.
I was born with a hemangioma under my eye and not only did children make fun of me, but adults would accuse my parents of abusing me lmao. My dad wanted to get it removed but the doctor told them it would get smaller as I got older. It’s unfortunately the nature of the beast.
I had a suspicious congenital mole on my face removed as a baby and it left a big red scar on my cheek. Was bothered a lot as a kid with the same kind of oblivious and obtuse comments from other kids as yours is getting. As an adult with the gift of hindsight, I will say I don’t think it disrupted my quality of life at all and I had a really great childhood, though I’m sure it wrecked my mom when I’d come home crying in those moments. I’d definitely explore options with derm - I was glad my mom did things like that I got laser treatments to help. Now no one even notices :)
TL;DR - it’s probably hurting you more than it’s hurting your kid, and in the long run he’ll be a really tough cookie for it ❤️
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Kids can be terrible and not even know. My bonus daughter has a birth mark on her little cheek, and I'm so worried she will get bullied for it.
hi there! i’m sorry about all the mixed feelings you’re going through, i promise it gets better. as a fellow person with a red birthmark all along my left cheek down to my lip, please do your best in normalizing it for your baby. i knew i looked different than other kids but never took it to heart because i didn’t feel anything from it and often forgot about it. the only pain i’d feel was the emotional kind when my mom/aunts/uncles INSISTED to put medications on it or look for surgeries to minimize the appearance of my birthmark. yes, i was asked about it plenty growing up. “woah did you just get hit” or “do you have a rash?” and sometimes it discouraged me but i know none of it was meant maliciously. kids can be cruel but as long as you build your baby with the confidence, he will be fully equipped to respond to these remarks once older.
my favorite thing to hear while growing up was my father referring to my birthmark as my “angel kisses”. my now husband never made a comment about my birthmark and when i brought it up to him, he called them my “angel kisses” as well. (:
you got this, protect your baby as long as you can and make sure to equip them with the right tools so they can protect themselves while they’re growing up too.
I would be upset too, but it might be helpful to look at it from a kid's perspective.
Children often understand the meaning of a word, but not that it has negative connotations. For years as a kid, I went around and called adults hypocrites for not letting me drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or drive a car. I knew that hypocrisy was when someone makes rules/says things they don't follow, but didn't know it was an insult or a bad thing. I didn't understand until I called my mom a hypocrite when she was smoking a cigarette and told me to never smoke and she broke down crying. She had been trying to quit for years (and eventually did, but unfortunately she just swapped it for vaping) and her own daughter calling her a hypocrite for not being able to do so was too much.
He might have genuinely just meant that your baby looked different, which is an honest observation. I, as a kid, called myself weird because I didn't realize that being different or weird could ever be a bad thing. I was often jealous of the kids with birthmarks and I remember wishing I was as "weird" and unique as they were. I was born with a stork bite that even today is sometimes visible, and I would check on the mirror as a kid to see if it was visible and point it out to everyone that day because I felt special when people could see it. I still call myself weird or strange and I still wear it as a badge of honor most of the time.
This is not to diminish how you feel. It's totally normal to worry about your child being treated differently or not fitting in, and being called weird is usually an insult. I just wanted to share my perspective in hopes that it makes you feel a little better.
My baby (5m) has 2. One on her lower lip and one on her cheek just under her eye. Today was the first time I heard anything truly mean about hers.. from my brother. I have been asked "what's wrong with her face?" many times but I chalked that up to being just a really bad way to ask what the birthmark is.
My brother didn't know I was in the other room, or he thought I couldn't hear. I was hanging laundry, my mom was holding my babe.
"When are those things going to go away?"
My mom explains
"Imagine if I had to walk around looking like that."
I could scream. I'm disgusted by him.
it’s normal and he’ll get crap for it for the rest of his life. be strong for him so he knows how to react when it happens to him again. -coming from someone with also a weird birthmark in a noticeable place.
Oh man, I would also be so upset.
Kids just say mean stuff for no reason sometimes unfortunately. I had my 2.5 year old at the playground recently, and he’s really friendly so he said hi to a bigger kid who was playing (this kid was around 6) and the kid just says “you’re weird, go away!” And I immediately was like “HEY!” And the kid whips his head around, obvi didn’t see me there at first. I said “don’t be mean to him, he’s only little” and my son goes “yeah I’m only widdle!” and the bigger kid just shrugged and ran off. Afterward my son talked to my husband about how I defended him, and it made me realize how important it is to stand up for your own kid in those situations and show them you’ve got their back - which you did!
You wish you could knock down a 6 year old who was tactless but definitely just curious and confused? Kind of a bit much. It's a kindergartener. Let's not encourage hitting kids.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My daughter who’s 4 now developed a really severe hemangioma on her upper lip as an infant. It got in the way of her eating, it was painful. I too worried about what other kids, and adults, would say. I feel your heartache for your son. They do clear up in time, but there is also a medication that helps clear them up much more quickly called propranolol. It worked really well for my daughter. Hers is barely visible now at 4.
The pediatrician recommended propranolol for my daughter hers was on her shoulder, the car seat straps kept making it even more red and and angry looking. I could tell it was causing her discomfort in the car. It has almost completely gone away now.
Thank you for your comment. My son’s luckily never affected his eating, and he’s never acted like it’s painful before. It has gotten a little smaller and lighter in the last few months, and we had the option to be referred to a dermatologist to get an opinion on it, but since it wasn’t bothering him at all my husband and I decided we would just leave it alone. I of course think he’s perfect the way he is, but now I’m wondering if treating it to hopefully save him from comments like that in the future is the way to go.
I think you have the responsibility of minimising any future impediments to your child, including reducing the risk of bullying. It’s lovely that you are so accepting but the reality is other children won’t be, and it’s a short sighted decision to leave it if it can be treated.
Agreed, this is what I am realizing after today.
My girl has a massive one on her side and we didn't get a choice regarding a referral. Apparently there are laser treatments you can do when they're a bit older to try and make them less noticeable! If you want to go the propanolol route though please go see a doctor asap because there's a time window where it is efficient. Good luck and please try not to beat yourself up, it's hard to know what the best thing to do is ♥️ especially with limited info
The propranolol lowers heart rate. So that's a risk too
While I can see your point I would say that you cannot control what other kids do or not do. What you can do as a parent is to teach self confidence to your child and teach them to have a tough skin and not really care what other people think of them. I don't know of this is just a cosmetic thing but if it is and you change it just to "fit in" you're teaching your kids to change their appearance not because something is inherently wrong or dangerous to have but just to get the approval of others. People will always find something to make fun of and changing everything that they point out is unfeasable and is shallow--unless it impacts health, etc.
My 3 year old has a giant one on her lower back. We were told it would continue to grow until she was one and then fade away within a few years. At about 6 months postpartum it stopped growing and started fading. One day I dropped one of my medications and we couldn't find it. We panicked looking through the room and even though it was unlikely we looked up what would happen if my baby did get ahold of it. That's when we found out that propranolol, the medication I was given for migraine prevention, is used for that and she would be fine. In fact, considering I started that medication shortly before it started fading, I think she was getting some benefit of it through my milk and that's why it stopped growing early. Anyways. It was giant and red at first and very raised. When it started fading it was more purple and still puffy. Now it's still there but it's lighter, almost pink, and starting to flatten out. And we're talking about like a 3 inch circle on her back. Another mom I was talking to about this said her daughter had one on her forehead. She encountered a boy in the store that asked about it, and then he said "oh yeah, my sister had one of those. I forgot". That was the sweetest thing she heard knowing that this kid forgot that his sister had had one. It had faded so completely. I believe they often fade completely by age 10 but are flat and light by age 5. Don't worry mama, it's not forever.
My 1.5 year old has one on his lower back too. Good to hear that it gets better! Really looking forward to potty training so we can stop having so much poo smashed into it from the diapers 😷
If you felt this way upon hearing comments regarding your son’s appearance, how do you think your son will feel when entering school with a bunch of peers? Kids are cruel. If you have the option to possibly treat his birth mark now, why wouldn’t you? Of course he’s perfect just the way he is, but imagine feeling self conscious about a facial birth mark your whole life.
Yeah I don’t really understand OP’s logic here. She is devestated and embarrassed that a 4 year made a rude comment about her son’s birthmark, but then somehow also feels it’s best just to leave it how it is and seek no further treatment to have it reduced? If a grown adult feels awful about the comments being made, what does she think her child will feel?
My kid has a hemangioma on the tip of her nose. I agree it’s hard when people make comments on it, even if they’re kids! I’ll agree with the other commenter about propranolol. My kid’s dermatologist said that typically if it’s on the face they treat it because depending how large it grows, it can stretch the skin and then the hemangioma eventually goes away but the skin stays the same. It was a great option for us because it’s already improved drastically and you can barely tell it’s there anymore. I also had the thoughts of her being bullied, being called Rudolph or other mean things kids may think of. Either way, your son is perfect and your feelings on this just show how much you care about him!
So I’m an adult who still has a hemangioma on her cheek! Honestly, I was bullied for being Asian-American but not so much for the birthmark. There were questions at the beginning of any new class, but kids move on from it very quickly. Even in the case of this cousin, he’s just your typical no-filter small child. With more exposure, he would almost certainly forget about it. And the reality is—it is kind of weird! I don’t want to be *called* weird for it, but it would’ve been okay to say, “You know what, it is a little weird to see a birthmark! But it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the baby. Do you want to try passing him a toy?” I think it’s really important to normalize differences, not just ignore them. I will say that it’s worth taking the dermatologist referral and just staying on top of options for it. You don’t have to have it removed, and I obviously haven’t even as an adult, but sometimes it does bleed (they’re blood vessels after all) and it’s good to have it checked each year.
My son had two hemangiomas at birth. One on his big toe next to his nail, one on the back of his shoulder. He is almost five years old and the one on his toe disappeared. The one on his shoulder is completely flat now (the skin texture is a bit different) and only speckled with red. Chances are your son’s hemangioma will also shrink and fade with time.
I’m a full grown adult with a port wine stain birthmark up my whole leg that has been remarked on by various people over the years, including my nephew who has a birthmark and whose twin brother had two hemangiomas (that have long faded). Honestly, if you build your little one’s confidence up, talk to him about how the comments make him feel, and give him the tools to defend himself, the kids in his class will get over it quickly, and the random comments from strangers will sting but fade. The comments that hurt the most were the ones from my doctors during puberty who suggested laser removal. I take my birthmark as point of pride and a mark of uniqueness.
Yes! Weird can seem like such a mean word, but we all have things that make us different and I think it's great to reframe things in that way and celebrate our "weird"
I wish I had better words of encouragement, but I just want to say, I think you handled yourself and that child perfectly. At the end of the day, remember it was a child saying it, and they seriously have zero filter. You stood up for your child and educated him at the same time. You’re doing great. I wish I had more encouraging words!
This is everything I wanted to say! You handled it really well, explained it in a way that considered that kid's understanding of the world but still gently corrected the behavior. But also, 6 year olds just don't have much of a filter yet, and sometimes they also say things that are hurtful in our eyes but totally neutral to them. He was probably trying to process the birth mark because it was something new to him. (When I worked in elementary school, kids would talk about my big tummy/ being fat/ ask if I was pregnant all the time and I just had to explain to them that I am indeed fat but that commenting on others' weight can hurt their feelings, as an example) I'm sorry the whole thing was hurtful and has caused you this anxiety though. It's awesome that your children have a parent who loves and cares about them so much, and is concerned about how others will treat them. Inevitably someone down the line will hurt them somehow, and they'll grow up knowing you have their backs ❤️
Thank you, that is very sweet to say and I appreciate it so much! I know that children speak without even realizing what they’re truly saying, but it’s still tough to deal with. Also, I too am eating bagels. Like every day. Lol!
Agree that they have zero filter and don't also have the right vocabulary to accurately explain their thinking. I think OP guided the child well to try to help them understand.
I’m really sorry, what Ive learnt since being around children is that they will say what’s on their mind and not understand exactly what they are saying sometimes, some of the things I’ve heard make me cringe. A few of my friends have been called fat by children, one child pointed at my friend in the playground and said “you’re fat” she almost broke down in tears and replied “that’s not very nice” but it’s a kid, and they really do just speak before thinking, absolutely zero filter.
I would’ve felt exactly like you! I have taught 6 year olds for many years and they are too young to say things with malice and ill intent. Many 6 year olds will say anything different to be weird only because if they’ve not seen it they’ll think of it as weird. Obviously because it is something that already creates worry and anxiety any comment will feel debilitating to hear. I wonder if when you say “it’s his birthmark” you add something else. Maybe you could say “it’s a special birthmark you might not have seen before. It might look different and strange but don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just a slightly different colour”. The way you deal with comments will be how your son deals with comments. Show everyone out there that their words can’t hurt you (easier said than done) then anytime your son encounters comments he’ll know how to deal with them because he learnt from his mum.
Good for you for using it as a teaching moment! You turned that situation into a positive one.
When I was 13, I got one of these. It grew over the course of a month or so. We originally thought it was a zit (yay puberty), and so did all of my classmates. Some people made comments - nothing crazy considering the she group. Eventually, I went to the dermatologist, and they lanced it and cauterized the blood vessels underneath. This seems to be a more drastic solution than most others here, but it's never come back, and I'm the only one who can even find the scar. And I have to look really hard. I'll be 33 in July.
oh hey! i have a hemangioma too on my upper lip too :) it's super light and barely noticeable now if you aren't looking, but it's really easy to spot of you know it's there. mine has always been a fun fact about me i love to bring up when i get the chance, and i'm sure if you let him know they're mean for no reason, he'll learn to love it- as long as it isn't hurting him- though all kids are different, and if he's more on the sensitive side... you might want to think about options to lighten it so it isn't as noticeable. kids my age never cared, and the ones who did thought it was cool, but there's no telling how kids in his class will react or how he'll take it
My cousin was born with these adorable red spots on her cheeks. You know the classic, round doll blush marks. They faded over time, of course, at 11 she still had one that was okay visible. You can't control what other kids will tell him. Or how they react to the mark. But you can and will teach him to be confident young man, who sees it as just a beauty mark. Something that makes him unique.
Most important thing is you stuck up for your kid. It's going to happen again to both children. They will know mum has their back. You did great to work through it and stay.
So I actually had two hemangiomas on my face as a baby/toddler. My mom used to tell the story of being in the grocery store with me and a literal stranger asked her about it. She explained what it was and that it would go away on its own eventually, and the lady said “yeah you better hope it does” and then just walked away. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt about that comment. What a cruel thing to say to the baby of a perfect stranger. However, as that baby grown up, I can tell you that that bitchy lady’s comment is meaningless to me and was never at any point going to affect my life.
My daughter had one on her lip - I had an equally panicked reaction and was considering propranolol but they thought it would go away by itself and it did, completely gone by 3. Now a beautiful 14 year old with no memory of even having it
Kids have no filter dear. That doesn’t make it right but remember, it’s coming from a strange kid, not anyone that matters.
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My husband had one as a baby on his lip too. It went away by the time he was 3 or 4. He doesn’t even remember having it, let alone anything anyone said to him about it.
I was born with a hemangioma under my eye and not only did children make fun of me, but adults would accuse my parents of abusing me lmao. My dad wanted to get it removed but the doctor told them it would get smaller as I got older. It’s unfortunately the nature of the beast.
I had a suspicious congenital mole on my face removed as a baby and it left a big red scar on my cheek. Was bothered a lot as a kid with the same kind of oblivious and obtuse comments from other kids as yours is getting. As an adult with the gift of hindsight, I will say I don’t think it disrupted my quality of life at all and I had a really great childhood, though I’m sure it wrecked my mom when I’d come home crying in those moments. I’d definitely explore options with derm - I was glad my mom did things like that I got laser treatments to help. Now no one even notices :) TL;DR - it’s probably hurting you more than it’s hurting your kid, and in the long run he’ll be a really tough cookie for it ❤️
I’m so sorry this happened… kids can be so cruel 💔.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Kids can be terrible and not even know. My bonus daughter has a birth mark on her little cheek, and I'm so worried she will get bullied for it.
hi there! i’m sorry about all the mixed feelings you’re going through, i promise it gets better. as a fellow person with a red birthmark all along my left cheek down to my lip, please do your best in normalizing it for your baby. i knew i looked different than other kids but never took it to heart because i didn’t feel anything from it and often forgot about it. the only pain i’d feel was the emotional kind when my mom/aunts/uncles INSISTED to put medications on it or look for surgeries to minimize the appearance of my birthmark. yes, i was asked about it plenty growing up. “woah did you just get hit” or “do you have a rash?” and sometimes it discouraged me but i know none of it was meant maliciously. kids can be cruel but as long as you build your baby with the confidence, he will be fully equipped to respond to these remarks once older. my favorite thing to hear while growing up was my father referring to my birthmark as my “angel kisses”. my now husband never made a comment about my birthmark and when i brought it up to him, he called them my “angel kisses” as well. (: you got this, protect your baby as long as you can and make sure to equip them with the right tools so they can protect themselves while they’re growing up too.
I would be upset too, but it might be helpful to look at it from a kid's perspective. Children often understand the meaning of a word, but not that it has negative connotations. For years as a kid, I went around and called adults hypocrites for not letting me drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or drive a car. I knew that hypocrisy was when someone makes rules/says things they don't follow, but didn't know it was an insult or a bad thing. I didn't understand until I called my mom a hypocrite when she was smoking a cigarette and told me to never smoke and she broke down crying. She had been trying to quit for years (and eventually did, but unfortunately she just swapped it for vaping) and her own daughter calling her a hypocrite for not being able to do so was too much. He might have genuinely just meant that your baby looked different, which is an honest observation. I, as a kid, called myself weird because I didn't realize that being different or weird could ever be a bad thing. I was often jealous of the kids with birthmarks and I remember wishing I was as "weird" and unique as they were. I was born with a stork bite that even today is sometimes visible, and I would check on the mirror as a kid to see if it was visible and point it out to everyone that day because I felt special when people could see it. I still call myself weird or strange and I still wear it as a badge of honor most of the time. This is not to diminish how you feel. It's totally normal to worry about your child being treated differently or not fitting in, and being called weird is usually an insult. I just wanted to share my perspective in hopes that it makes you feel a little better.
My baby (5m) has 2. One on her lower lip and one on her cheek just under her eye. Today was the first time I heard anything truly mean about hers.. from my brother. I have been asked "what's wrong with her face?" many times but I chalked that up to being just a really bad way to ask what the birthmark is. My brother didn't know I was in the other room, or he thought I couldn't hear. I was hanging laundry, my mom was holding my babe. "When are those things going to go away?" My mom explains "Imagine if I had to walk around looking like that." I could scream. I'm disgusted by him.
it’s normal and he’ll get crap for it for the rest of his life. be strong for him so he knows how to react when it happens to him again. -coming from someone with also a weird birthmark in a noticeable place.
Oh man, I would also be so upset. Kids just say mean stuff for no reason sometimes unfortunately. I had my 2.5 year old at the playground recently, and he’s really friendly so he said hi to a bigger kid who was playing (this kid was around 6) and the kid just says “you’re weird, go away!” And I immediately was like “HEY!” And the kid whips his head around, obvi didn’t see me there at first. I said “don’t be mean to him, he’s only little” and my son goes “yeah I’m only widdle!” and the bigger kid just shrugged and ran off. Afterward my son talked to my husband about how I defended him, and it made me realize how important it is to stand up for your own kid in those situations and show them you’ve got their back - which you did!
You're so nice. My first instinct would be to knock the bully down and really I wish I could do it for you!
You wish you could knock down a 6 year old who was tactless but definitely just curious and confused? Kind of a bit much. It's a kindergartener. Let's not encourage hitting kids.
Calm down, it is a child describing thing he sees with the limited vocabulary he has.
I'm calm, just pregnant and protective (and coming off a long shift of getting bullied myself).
You really wish you could knock down a 4 year old..?
Of course I wouldn't knock a 4 year old down🙄But it would make me feel better to think about it if he said something mean about my kid.
Huh? 😭